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Suggsverse vs Logic

by spitfire-panda

Chapter 4

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"You're certain that the advice you gave me was sound?" Unicron asked as he walked down the bright pathway that led from the Voyager's realm to Suggsverse proper.

"Of course!" Sunset said as she and Pinkie Pie sat atop the god's shoulder. "Letting Galactus have a crack at the Voyagers gets us to our destination faster."

"Your goals are not my own, little pony," Unicron rumbled threateningly. "Though your human friends seemed rather excited about cheering Galactus on."

"Look, you can eat this Art Gallery place if you want. I'm sure it's got a ton of energy, we just have to get there."

"And you have to let us talk to this 'Ace of Spades' guy before you eat it, too," Pinkie Pie added. "Otherwise, this trip is kinda pointless."

"Actually, you can talk to me if you want answers."

The ponies looked down at the road of light beneath them to see a human standing there. He had dark skin, with a thin, neatly trimmed beard. He wore black sunglasses, and his tone implied great knowledge.

"I am August Aeclepius Averrunscus, one of the most intelligent humans in all of creation. I have been sent here by the Ace of Spades, as a mortal, to speak with you. We are of the same phsyicality, and so we might relate better."

"You talk like someone from a science academy," Pinkie Pie said as she and Sunset Shimmer walked into Unicron's hand. He knelt as he set them down on the pathway.

"That's because he is the greatest physicist in his world," Unicron said. "He might actually be able to answer your questions where the Voyagers couldn't."

"Fine," Sunset Shimmer said as she turned to address August. "What is the method for stepping outside of time? And why is being outside of time a contradiction?"

"There is no true method for stepping outside of time," August began.

"Wrong. Magic or sufficient levels of technology are the correct answers. The second answer is…"

"…Time is relative to action and change," August said, ignoring the mare's interruption and speaking over her. "However, if one were to step outside of space-time, then they would step into higher-dimensional time."

"Would this higher dimensional time involve 'Pataphysics?"

"Yes. The step up from the Metaphysical laws that govern the physics of a normal universe is Pataphysics."

"I think you're forgetting the apostrophe," Pinkie Pie said.

"I believe he ignored the apostrophe," Unicron replied.

"The Pataphysics you know is but a spectre of the true nature of Pataphysics," August said as his eyes began to turn silver and a hat appeared on his head. "For you see, Pataphysics is that which influences the definitions of Omnipotence. Therefore, while 'Omni' variants including Omnipotence can 'transcend' to this zenith, by default, Omnipotence, which is an apex itself, under the logic of Pataphysics, is lower because Omnipotence is a product of Metaphysics."

"Actually," Unicron said as he reached down and grabbed August. "Metaphysics is a product of Omnipotence, as is 'Pataphysics, Theaphysics, Cataphysics, and any sort of imaginary branch of physics you wish to name. Everything in creation, no matter how many levels of power an author might give it, is subject to Omnipotence. All logic and reason is relative to the whims of the omnipotent, for that term isn't a 'zenith'. It is a description created by limited minds to describe that which they cannot fully understand. Inifinity, eternity, and absolute nothingness are similar. Adding words or prefixes to these things isn't adding any qualities to them. Nor is it a means of creating boundaries for the boundless. It only creates unnecessary redundancies. Trust me. I'm nigh-omnipotent, myself. All evil and chaos in my multiverse is the result of my very being."

"We have multiverses! We have omniverses upon omniverses in the Suggsverse! You exist here, too!"

"Pinkie and I humored Xeranthemum with that, but only because she was a little unhinged," Sunset Shimmer said. "You're not unhinged, you're just arrogant. Physics doesn't exist to define 'apexes' or 'zeniths'. No form of physics does, even joke sciences like 'Pataphysics. Authors use physics to describe impressive feats performed by their characters. It's for the fun of the story, not because they're searching for the zenith of anything! You people just don't see that… What are you doing?"

Sunset stopped in her lecture to stare in confusion as August glared at her, his eyes glowing with a silver light.

"I'm not glaring at you," August lied as his kasa fell off of his head. "And even if I were, my eyes are sightless and unobservable. You couldn't even tell if I was glaring at you!"

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure you're glaring at us…" Pinkie Pie said as she shivered. "It's kinda creepy."

"Your reality is shattering into stardust memories at the power of my glare! In fact, there was never a memory of you to begin with, for you were never within the union of Nothing and All Possibility."

"Hasbro doesn't endorse those unions," Unicron said as he lifted the Silver Devil up to his mouth. The man began to struggle in the inescapable grip of the Transformer God before being dropped into the robot's gaping maw.

"What did he taste like?" Sunset asked in morbid curiosity.

"He tasted like hot air, as I knew he would," Unicron said as he lifted the ponies and placed them back atop his shoulder. "I'm hoping this Art Gallery makes for better food."

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