The beautiful people...OOOOHHHHHHHHH...

-Pyro goes off as the Lunacy intro which I'm too lazy to make ends, as well as the theme song. It is another sold out crowd at the Lunacy asylum. The fans that were reeled in last week are looking forward to seeing how this episode will play out-

-In the ring are golden and green balloons tied to the ring-rope, a pinata that looks an awful lot like Lightning Dust, a giant cake that is adorned by her loving face, and a giant banner above the ring that says "Congratulations, Lightning Dust!" in green and gold letters.

Garble: Holy crap...has it been a week already?

Ahuizotl: Unfortunately! Try to be less of a jerk this week, alright, boy?

Garble: Haha! I can't help it if you can't handle my extra-special style of commentary!

Ahuizotl: No I can't! But you don't have to act like such a hormone-filled TEENAGER!

Garble: Speaking of hormones...when was the last time YOU got some? Can't imagine a chick would be too thrilled to lay down with you...

Ahuizotl: BE QUIET!

Garble: She probably has to take it from the back...

Ahuizotl: I ASSURE YOU that YOUR MOTHER can't keep her eyes OFF OF MINE! -his chest heaves-

Garble: Now that was just uncalled for... -frowns-

Ahuizotl: WHAT?! You INSULT my primal instincts, yet cannot admit when you've been bested?!

Garble: I'm a TEENAGER...all we do is spew mindless insults...YOU'RE all grown up...I'm disappointed in the way you handled this menial desire for some small-talk.

Ahuizotl: ...I-I...that icing on that cake in the ring? Ah, SCREW IT!

-Garble smirks inside-

Welcome to the Danger Zo-ooonne! -Mixture of half cheers and boos-

Ahuizotl: And as you may have noticed, it is time for the championship celebration, of the first EVER Women's Eternal World Champion...Lightning Dust.

Garble: Have some more enthusiasm, jeez! It's the GRAND DEBUT of OUR champion! Lightning Dust! This is such a special moment in the short history of the Equestrian Wrestling Federation...she overcame all odds, she defied expectations, she surprised us all-

Ahuizotl: She cheated.

Garble: There were NO RULES.

Ahuizotl: Doesn't have to be a rule to cheat...

Announcer: Please welcome...the NEEEEEEEWWWWWW...Women's...Eternal...World CHHHAAAMMPPIOOONNNNN...LLLLLLIIIIIGGHTTTTNNIIINNGGG DUUUUUSSSSSTTTTTT!

-Lightning Dust walks down the ramp in a blue and white hoodie, as she teases the fans with her title. She gets in the ring and marvels at the decorations around her. She is handed a mic, as small chants of "Lightning Dust" are heard-

Lightning Dust: -Rests the title over her shoulder- Thank you! Thank you! It's great to start off Monday Night Lunacy as YOUR Eternal Women's Champion...-she points out to the fans- All of the fan-mail that I've gotten over the past week has REALLY gotten to me...to the point where I almost can't BELIEVE where I stand today...it only fuels me to defend this title week-in, and week-out...just so all you nobodies will have something to cheer for. -More crowd boos- I mean, let's just imagine what the landscape would look like if I really WAS eliminated last week...Twilight Sparkle? You'd all be practicing the "Magic of Friendship" had she won. I'm not here to make friends! I'm here to DOMINATE the competition, to OUTSHINE those that didn't allow me to shine AT ALL growing up! Scootaloo? Is she really even WORTHY of being in the same ring as me? Pfttt! I think not...she's WAY to reckless and irresponsible to represent Lunacy as it's champion...I mean, LOOK at what she did to Diamond Tiara! There's no TELLING how long she'll be out for...no...at the end of the day, NOBODY in that match deserved to hold this title as much as ME! I've got the high-flying skills Scootaloo WISH she had, and I can suplex CIRCLES around Twilight Sparkle...-Lightning Dust looks at her pinata- Ya know, THIS makes NO sense...who would want to bust open the FACE of the Equestrian Wrestling Federation? -She cackles, and looks straight at the camera- EAT YOU HEART OUT, RAINBOW DASH! -She then cackles some more-

A hundred thousand stories...have filled my head... -Most of the crowd cheers, but there are still some noticeable boos-

Garble: How DISRESPECTFUL! This is the time to CELEBRATE! Twilight LOST! Why can't she just let Lightning Dust have her moment? And there's that little DORK Spike, too!

Ahuizotl: Because our oh-so-humble champion has done nothing but insulted the other participants in last week's battle royal. Lightning Dust isn't the ONLY gifted superstar in the back...also, lay off of Spike! He's had a tough life. He loves his sister and has been waiting ALL week to join her in the ring.

Garble: At least you realize the girl's skills...

Ahuizotl: Of COURSE she has skills. She isn't the champion for NOTHING!

-Twilight high fives the many fans in the crowd, though mostly the kids. Lightning Dust yawns, and lounges on the top turnbuckle as she enters the ring. Spike fetches a microphone and gives it to Twilight-

Lightning Dust: I don't remember R.S.V.P'ing anybody to this party...

Twilight: I'm VERY disappointed in your actions thus far, Lightning Dust...

Dust: Sorry, mom...-smirks-...was going to walk Larry in a few hours...COMPLETELY slipped my mind...

Twilight: This is SERIOUS. You come out here, insult me and my performance last week-

Dust: Not JUST you...me and Sunset Shimmer were the only two deserving of winning, but I still addressed the performance of everybody else in the match. Stop thinking about yourself.

Twilight: I realize I wasn't the only one in the match. Scootaloo also put on an INSPIRING performance, Midnight Strike showed us something that she didn't get the chance to in her previous match, and, yes, Sunset Shimmer was impressive, as well. Just because you won, however, does not give you the right to forget all of that.

Dust: Actually, it does. I got drunk off my ass after I won, so I completely forgot everything that happened after that bell rang. -Gasp- Oh, I know! Why don't you write a letter documenting how your night went, Twilight? -More cheers of "Lightning Dust" are heard at Dust's brave jab at Princess Celestia-

Twilight: That's disrespectful...also, you called SCOOTALOO irresponsible? I don't believe a CHAMPION should go out and party. I believe they should focus on strategizing for their first title defense!

Dust: Yeah? Well, that's not saying much, considering how much of a hermit you are. "Crowd "OOOHHH's" at that- When the time comes, a strategy won't be needed...nobody on Lunacy can take this title from me.

Twilight: You don't even DESERVE that title! You CHEATED to win it!

Dust: HAHA! Going in for the kill, aren't we? -Dust steps off the turnbuckle, and approaches Twilight- Listen, Mary-Sue...the only rules in a Battle Royal is that you have to go OVER THE TOP ROPE, with BOTH FEET hitting the floor to be eliminated...I went for a spear, and went through the MIDDLE ROPE. Sure, both of my feet DID hit the floor, but that does not matter if I didn't go OVER THE TOP ROPE. Do you understand what I am saying? You cannot do one without the other. I figured with all that book-reading you do, you would've read the wrestling HANDBOOK.

Twilight: There is no such thing as that.

Dust: Then use some common sense. The announcer SAID it right before the match began.

Twilight: That is still no excuse for you biding your time outside of the ring, and taking advantage of me and Scootaloo when we were clearly engaging in a heated battle.

Dust: Oh yeah..."heated", huh? Is that why I heard the crowd sitting on their hands the ENTIRE time? Look, I fell outside the ring RIGHT IN FRONT of you. You were stunned, yeah, but I KNOW you saw me...why not just slide out under the bottom rope, or even go through the middle rope, pick my ass up, and throw my ass back into the ring? Didn't we learn at wrestling school that you should always be aware of your surroundings, outside AND inside of that ring?

Twilight: You could've got right back up and gotten back in the ring, not stay outside like a coward.

Dust: Falling onto that floor outside HURTS like a bitch, Sparkle. Hell, I thought you'd know that! After all, I DID throw you out MYSELF.

Twilight: Well, you weren't hurt when you eliminated me and Scootaloo from BEHIND.

Dust: Why are you up on the top turnbuckle IN THE FIRST PLACE? That is the WRONG place to be in a Battle Royal! It's grounds for an EASY trip to the floor outside! Once again, you did something without THINKING, which I thought you were a MASTER of?

Twilight: I was THINKING...thinking about WINNING.

Dust: Don't you think I was, too? That's why I'm HERE. To WIN. Apparently, I was thinking a LOT more than YOU. I had a gameplan, and that was to wait it out. If you, or nobody else could see through it, then you're all IDIOTS.

-Spike kindly grabs Twilight's microphone-

Spike: Stop talking to Twilight like that, Lightning Dust! She IS smarter than you, and she IS a better wrestler than you! If you put that title on the line against her, she'll PROVE it. And she won't stoop to such low levels to win it!

Garble: Oh my God-KICK HIM IN THE NUTS.

Dust: -Smirks- Listen, Spike...I know your story. I know what you've been through in your life. But if you let your sister get in the ring with me...I'll make her wish SHE was adopted.

-Twilight gets in Dust's face-

Ahuizotl: This is becoming about more than the title QUICKLY, folks...

Garble: Don't be ridiculous. It's ALWAYS about the title!

So together we are lost on the moon... -Crowd cheers, as Twilight quickly turns her head towards the ramp, while Lightning Dust slowly cranes her head in the same direction-

Garble: Now THIS is an interruption I can get behind!

Ahuizotl: -Sigh- And HERE comes the kiss-upping...

Garble: It's the general manager of Lunacy! The show is practically NAMED after her, you dummy!

Luna: -Once again raises a hand, silencing the fans at once. Except for one lone fan that begins to chant "WE WANT DARING" accompanied by 5 claps. He continues to chant it, until nearly the entire crowd is doing it. Luna smiles at this- This is not my decision, but I WILL talk to my sister about that. -She winks at the crowd, and they all cheer- On a more serious topic: You two may argue about the schematics of professional wrestling ALL NIGHT, but it won't even matter. Despite the way she did it, Lightning Dust is the Eternal Women's World champion-

Dust: -Begins slapping the title with a hand- THAT'S RIGHT!

Luna: ...You cannot change that, Twilight. She DID do it within the context of the rules. Speaking of rules, one rule of the EWF, is that EVERY champion MUST defend their title within a 30 day period, or they will no longer be champion. Lightning Dust, despite what you might think, this rule DOES apply to you.

Dust: That's FINE, GML! I realize what responsibilities come with being champion. I'm here to PROVE myself, and the best way to do that is to WIN!

Luna: Hmmm...very well. Tonight, we will decide who the number 1 contender to your championship will be. I've noticed that there are QUITE a few rivalries brewing here on Lunacy, and I'm going to give all the catalysts in these rivalries the chance to develop a NEW rivalry...with YOU, Lightning Dust.

Dust: It doesn't matter if I've got EVERY superstar in this COMPANY on my tail! I'll beat 'em ALL.

Luna: We shall see. Tonight's main event will pit the team of Twilight Sparkle, Cadance, Rarity, and Scootaloo against the team of Sunset Shimmer, Turf, Silver Spoon...and Lightning Dust, in an 8 woman tag team match. -The crowd cheers- Whoever gets the pinfall, will face Lightning Dust at Proving Grounds...for the Eternal Woman's World Championship.

Dust: Piece of cake. What happens if I get the pin, though?

Luna: Then you will receive the right to PICK your opponent. It may be WHOEVER you chose.

Dust: -Nods in a cocky way- How fair!

Luna: We are pleased that the champion respects our decision. If she is victorious, we will respect HER decision. -Luna leaves the stage-

-Lightning Dust has grasped her title with both hands. She plans to hit Twilight with it. As Twilight turns around, she is saved from a severe blow by Spike kicking Lightning Dust in the shin. Spike and Twilight quickly leave the ring as Lightning Dust falls to the mat. The crowd mostly boos-

Garble: This crowd has the right idea! If Spike has so much FAITH in Twilight, couldn't he have believed that Twilight would've countered Lightning Dust's attack?!

Ahuizotl: Now you're just making excuses.

Garble: The crowd is seeing what you're NOT seeing. They realize that THAT was cowardly by Spike!

-Spike raises Twilight's hand on the ramp, as Lightning Dust pounds the mat in frustration.-

Ahuizotl: This crowd is NUTS. They were chanting for DARING DO! WHY!?

Garble: Something tells me the crowd isn't done yet...-The camera pans to konyy2k, who is holding up a giant "#DaringRevolution" sign like he SAID HE WOULD. The crowd sees this on the titantron, cheers, and begins to chant "WE WANT DARING" along with five more claps-

Ahuizotl: DAMMIT, CELESTIA! GIVE THEM DARING DO ON FRIDAY SO THEY'LL STOOOOOPP!

*Commercial*

-Trending on Twitter: "#WeWantDaring", "#DaringRevolution."-

Ahuizotl: You FOOLS! What is so redeeming about that nasty woman?!

Garble: She's like Lara Croft...but better. Get a clue!

Ahuizotl: WHATEVER. Let's just get the action for tonight started!

-The sound of a drill whirs through the arena-

Announcer: The following contest, is scheduled for ONE FALLL...introducing first...from Lonevyille...weighing 132 pounds...COOOLLLGAAATTEEEEEE!

-Colgate stalks out, wearing a black-and white laboratory-like suit, and white gloves-

Ahuizotl: Oh NO...HOLD ME.

Garble: Normally I'd decline, but in this case...-Ahuizotl and Garble hold each other- We are about to witness the singles debut of Colgate...the most EVIL dentist in Equestria...

Ahuizotl: And no, we're not overreacting! Colgate uses the BIGGEST drill imaginable, doesn't wear gloves, and REFUSES to give you a lollipop after she's done!

Garble: It's UNTHINKABLE!

Colgate: -Grinning at the commentators- Hey, Garble! Need a fill-in?!

Garble and Ahuizotl: AHHHHHHHHH! -They hide under the announce table-

-Colgate turns towards the ramp, and cracks her knuckles in anticipation-

I swear I won't tease you, won't tell you no lies... -MASSIVE boos-

Garble: EVEN WORSE!

Announcer: And her opponent...from Loneyville...weighing 123 pounds...OH CHRIST IT'S TWIST!

-Twist blows a kiss at the announcer, and twerks down to the ring. She slides into the ring, as this week, the cameraman has learned his lesson by NOT going in for the ass shot. He instead pans to a shot of a slightly intrigued Colgate-

-Once in the ring, Twist walks up to Colgate, and begins to grind on her with her ass-

Twist: Oh, Doctow Cothate...I don't need a cavity thiwwing, but I DEW need a THYSICAL...-waggles her eyebrows-

Ahuizotl: Better her than me!

Colgate: -Not amused- Sweetie...the only thing YOU'LL need after this match...IS A FUNERAL. -Floors Twist with a right hand, and begins to kick her down with big boots every time she tries to get up.-

Garble: I can't believe I'm saying this...BUT GO COLGATE!

Match 1: Colgate vs Twist

-4 minutes of domination later...-

-Chants of "THANK YOU COLGATE" ring through the arena, as Colgate manically grabs Twist by the hair, and pulls her up-

*BRUSH, RINSE, REPEAT!* -Crowd cheers-

Ahuizotl: What a move by Colgate!

-Colgate hooks the leg-

1...2...3! *DINGDINGDINGGG*

Announcer: Here is your winner...COOOOOOLLLGAAATTEEEEE...

Garble: No! Don't end it yet! Do it again!

Crowd: ONE MORE TIME! ONE MORE TIME! ONE MORE TIME! ONE MORE TIME!

-Colgate picks Twist up, and delivers another "Brush, Rinse, Repeat" to her. The crowd erupts in cheers once again-

Crowd: THANK YOU COLGATE! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP* THANK YOU COLGATE! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP*

-Colgate jams a hand into Twist's mouth, and begins to yank at the lower-part of her mouth-

Ahuizotl: Ouch, Ouch, OUCH!

Garble: Such AWFUL memories...

-Colgate stops yanking when she notices blood wash over her hand. She exits the ring, and walks up the aisle, grinning like a maniac. Twist lays in the ring, blood pouring from her teeth-

Garble: Well, Dr. Colgate didn't get any teeth as a souvenir, but she sure did give Twist her own souvenir, in the form of a malicious beating!

Ahuizotl: Malicious is NOTHING. She wanted to rip TEETH out of her mouth!

Garble: I'd rather HAVE a root canal than see more of Twist dancing...

Ahuizotl: You and me both, partner...you and me both...

*Sunset Shimmer's locker room*

Sunset Shimmer: -With her arms crossed- Alright, slime...what was the deal with you attacking Shining Armor last week?

Snails: -A lost look on his face- Huh huh! What a great name for our tag team...eh, Snips?

Snips: Yeaaahhhhh...Slllliimmeeeee...I like it! Thanks, Sunset!

-Sunset backs the two up against a cubby-

Sunset: And thanks for ANSWERING MY QUESTION! -Growling- WHAT WERE YOU DOING AT RINGSIDE LAST WEEK?

Snips: -Sweating- W-we...we have to worry about OUR careers too, Sunset...

Snails: Y-yeah...we had to make an impact! -Grins goofily-

Sunset: So worry about them, then! You could've made a BIGGER impact by helping ME win the title! Don't you want to be associated with the biggest star on Lunacy?

Snips: O-of course we do!

Snails: A-and we already are! You don't need a title to be the most dominate star on Lunacy, Sunset!

-Sunset backs off, and begins to think about that statement-

Sunset: -Smirks- Hmph...well played. I suppose you're right, but the title IS a little extra leverage to help the claim. You shouldn't have wasted your time on SHINING ARMOR, though...

Snips: He was right there. We felt it was worth it.

Sunset: Well, you'll see if it is in the long run...I can imagine that he's pretty pissed at you guys right about now...he'll be looking to did to you what you did to him.

Snips: We're not worried about Shining Armor! We gave him a CONCUSSION! He'll never be the same after what we did to him!

Snails: Huh huh, yeah! Aaaand when he comes back...we'll do it again!

-Flash Sentry comes barging into the locker room-

Flash Sentry: There you are, Sunny! What are THESE two jackasses doing in YOUR locker room?

Snails: Nnnnnno! We're Slime!

-Sunset puts her arms around Flash-

Sunset: Oh, babe...ignore them...you know me and them are good friends...

Flash: Friends or not, because of them, MY FRIEND had to have 17 stitches in his forehead...because of them, MY FRIEND is going to be out of action until further notice!

Sunset: -Scolds Flash- You need to calm down. They're trying to make an impact like everybody else. Just be glad it wasn't YOU.

Flash: -Shrinks a little under his girlfriend's stare- S-sorry, Sunny...I'd like to see them try to do it to me, though.

Sunset: -Rubs Flash's chin with her thumb and index finger- Why not ask for a match, then? Then you can take out AAAAALLLL your frustrations on them, and make me proud at the SAME TIME.

Flash: -Giggles like only a MANLY MAN can- I-is it okay if I already went to Princess Luna and asked for one?

Sunset: -Disapproving glare- ...Fine. I'll let it slide this ONE time, but I'd appreciate it if you'd ask me BEFORE-HAND...okay?

Flash: -Gulps- Y-yes, Sunny...of course. It won't happen again...

Sunset: -Kisses Flash on the lips...passionately and forcefully- ...Good. Now, go get ready for your match...I have to get ready for MINE. -Winks-

Flash: Y-yes, ma'am! -Looks past Sunset- You two bozos better decide which one of you is going to face me...and QUICK. -Quickly scurries out of the locker room-

Snips: Heh heh...see? We're not worried, Sunset.

Snails: Huh huh, yeeeaah! He sweats as you stare at him! He can't handle Snips in the ring!

Snips: -Eyes bulge- M-ME?! Why don't YOU face him?

Sunset: He sweats because I OWN him...and I own YOU morons, too! Hmmmm...now, let's see...which one of you deserves to get destroyed? -She repeatedly looks between Snips and Snails- Hmmmm...-After many moments of thinking, she slaps Snails across the face- Get out there, Snails! Impress me...OR ELSE.

Snails: Y-yes, ma'am! -Runs out of the locker room-

Snips: Heh heh...poor guy. So, Sunset...wanna watch the match with me?

-Sunset slaps Snips-

Sunset: You IDIOT! He's your PARTNER! Don't leave him hanging! GO OUT THERE!

-Snips doesn't say a word. He just grimaces at the slap, and rubs it as he walks out of the locker room-

*REDACTED THEME*

Announcer: The following contest, is scheduled for ONE FALL...introducing first, from CANTERLOT...weighing in at 225 pooouundsss...FLLLLASSSHHH...SEEENNTTRRRYYY! -Most of the crowd boos, and barrage Flash Sentry with chants of "You're A Pussy" along with five claps to make it even worse-

Ahuizotl: I do not envy Snails ONE BIT...Flash Sentry had to watch his best friend, Shining Armor, bleed on the floor in front of him...

Garble: Plus, he's got SUNSET SHIMMER "warming him up" every single day of the week. With advantages like THAT, Flash Sentry could take on THE WORLD.

Ahuizotl: Even IF Sunset acts a little...rough.

Garble: Eh, a girl's gotta be able to keep her man in line. Sunset knows what she's doing!

*REDACTED THEME*

Announcer: Aaaannndddd, his opponent...from LONEYVILLE...weighing 197 pooouunddsss...SNAAAIILLLSSSS! -Some slight crowd cheers, but most are boos-

Garble: I wouldn't underestimate Snails, he's going to be crafty in that ring. He's light on his feet, if not a bit unorthodox.

Ahuizotl: He also has some momentum on his side, as we bring up the attack on Shining Armor last week.

Garble: -Nods- He may not have been expecting it, but that doesn't matter. Snips and Snails DESTROYED Shining Armor last week on Lunacy! 17 stitches, 'Zotl...17! Can you count that high?

Ahuizotl: -Grins- So...how about the bravery of Spike in the opening segment? Kid's got quite a bit of spunk.

Garble: FOCUS ON THE MATCH.

Match 2: Snails vs Flash Sentry

-Snails comes right out of the gate, backing Flash into a corner and thrusting him in the head with elbows-

Garble: See what I mean? Just look at the way he uses his elbows...how he rears back and clicks his tongue with each strike. It's such a different style of wrestling.

Ahuizotl: It indeed is. I wonder if that will render Flash Sentry out of his game.

*14 minutes later*

-Snails clutches his hands around Flash's abdomen. He lifts him up for a back suplex, but Flash counters by flipping himself over and landing on his feet.-

Ahuizotl: Flash thwarts the high impact move by landing on his feet.

-Snails comes charging at Flash, but Flash lowers himself by the ropes, pressing it down to send Snails over it.-

Garble: Snails hangs on, though!

-Flash rushes up to Snails, but Snails nails him with a shoulder block on the apron. Flash backs up quite a ways away from Snails. Snails leaps off of the top rope, but his attack is blocked as Flash kicks him in the gut on the way down. Flash grabs Snails' own abdomen, and positions his head between his legs.-

Ahuizotl: Uh oh...this doesn't look GOOOOOOO- *FLASH FLOOD (Basically the Canadian Destroyer)* WOW! WHAT A MOVE BY FLASH SENTRY!

Garble: HE JUST FLIPPED HIMSELF AND HIS OPPONENT INTO THE AIR, AND LANDED SNAILS RIGHT ON HIS NECK!

Crowd: HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!

-Even Snips is in awe, as Flash turns Snails onto his back, and hooks his leg-

1...2...3! -More of the crowd begins to cheer for Flash now over his spectacular new finishing move-

Ahuizotl: It's over!

Garble: OF COURSE IT IS! DID YOU SEE WHAT HE JUST DID?!

Ahuizotl: I absolutely did! Let's see it again!

Garble: IN ALL THE ANGLES! ALL THE ANGLES AND SLOW MOTION PLEASE!

*At least 10 more replays of the Flash Flood on Snails are shown*

Announcer: Here is your WINNNEERRR...FLLLLLAAAASSSHHHHH...SEEEENNNTTRRRRRYYYYYY!

-The crowd begins to chant "One More Time", but before Flash can humor the crowd, Snips enters the ring and attacks him from behind-

Garble: DAMMIT! I want to see the Flash Food AGAIN!

Ahuizotl: Snips better watch himself, or Flash could hit it on HIM.

Garble: YES! It can come out of NOWHERE, too!

-The crowd begins to boo as Snips uses the ropes to jump into the air and CRUSH his knee against Flash's abdomen a few times-

Crowd: FLASH! FLASH! FLASH! FLASH! FLASH! FLASH!

-Snips brings Flash to his feet, and then sends him out to the floor as he RAMS his shoulder against the steel post. The crowd continues to boo-

-Snips places Flash's head up against the outside ring-post, and grins wickedly at the steel steps on the other side of him.-

Ahuizotl: Oh no...he's going to do to Flash what he did to Shining Armor last week!

Garble: Someone stop him!

-Snips goes over to pick them up, as Shining Armor jumps over the barricade from behind him. He has a thick bandage enveloping his forehead. He tells the crowd to shush, and they obey.-

Garble: Wait...th-that's...

Ahuizotl: SHINING ARMOR! SHINING ARMOR IS HERE!

Garble: And Snips has NO CLUE!

-Shining quickly rummages through the ring apron. He soon pulls out a steel chair.-

Garble: This isn't going to turn out good for Snips...

-Snips picks up the steel steps, and when he turns around, Shining thwacks the steel chair against the steps, the force causing Snips to fall to the floor, with the steps sitting atop his face-

Ahuizotl: OH MYYYYYY! WHAT A SHOT BY SHINING ARMOR!

-Shining continues to mesh steel against steel, as the steel steps collide against Snips' head under the rubble over and over again.-

-Flash groggily stumbles over to Shining, and forces him to stop. The crowd boos. Shining puts the chair down, and shares a look with Flash. They then look at the ring, and smirk.-

Garble: Uh oh...what do they have in mind? They've done enough damage!

-Flash picks up the steel steps, and tosses them into the ring. Shining Armor in turn picks up Snips, and tosses HIM into the ring. He grabs the steel chair just in case, and both he and Flash enter the ring.-

-Flash stands on top of the steel steps, and has Shining Armor feed him to him. Flash grabs Snips, and pulls him onto the steel steps with him. He positions his head between his legs. The crowd becomes unglued in realization of what is going to happen next.-

Garble: Oh shit...oh shit oh shit oh SHIT! IS HE GOING TO DO IT?!

Ahuizotl: He might as well! There's NO turning back now, Flash!

Garble: He's not going to do it...there's no way!

-Flash looks to the crowd, and their cheers rise more and more with each glance, until finally...-

*FLASH FLOOD ON THE STEEL STEPS!*

Ahuizotl: IT HAS BEEN DONE! IT HAS BEEN DONE!

Garble: THAT'S FUCKING INSAAAAANNEEEEEEEE!

-The crowd could not be more happier at that outcome.-

Crowd: THAT WAS AWE-SOME! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP* THAT WAS AWE-SOME! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP*

Garble: And the crowd LOVES IT! And rightfully so! That was the greatest thing I've ever seen!

Ahuizotl: *As more replays are shown* As if the first act of "Flash Flood" wasn't enough...Flash had to give them an ENCORE!

Garble: Flash Flood II: When Steel Steps Backfire!

-Snips lays unconscious on the mat, blood pouring out of his skull. Shining has to help Flash up, as his hip seems to be giving his problems.-

Ahuizotl: Flash may be hurting, but that had to have felt SO GOOD for him!

-As Snails tries to get back up, Shining Armor silences his stand with a clobbering chair shot to the back.-

Ahuizotl: And one for good measure on Snails!

-Shining lays the chair down, picks up Snails, and positions him by the chair.-

*REDACTED MOVE ON THE CHAIR* -The crowd erupts into more thunderous receptions.-

Crowd: BROMANS! BROMANS! BROMANS! BROMANS! BROMANS!

-Shining Armor and Flash each put a foot on the top of the steel steps, as they use their hands to look out at a sea of admirers. The chants continue, as their music hits.-

Ahuizotl: Snips and Snails thought they could handle Flash Sentry here tonight...they thought that Shining Armor would not be a disturbance in their plans...little did they know, Shining Armor was lurking in the shadows, and when he struck, it made a bigger impact than "Slime" could've ever imagined!

Garble: Are we really calling them "Slime" now? Well, it's appropriate, because "Slime" is now oozing all over the mat...courtesy of The Bromans! Shining Armor...and Flash Sentry!

-Backstage, EGO is seen watching the scene unfold on a monitor.-

Fancy Pants: -Turning to Gustave Le Grand.- And THAT, is EXACTLY why WE are challenging for the Combo of Carnage championships at Proving Ground. Ruffians like THOSE two don't DESERVE to represent the Equestrian Wrestling Federation's male tag team division.

Gustave: Hur hur...you are right, sir. We are the PERFECT example of what tag team wrestling is all about. A crisp offense, a chemistry that not be broken...-he turns to Fleur De Lis.-...Even a dashing mademoiselle...-he takes Fleur's hand, and kisses it. She giggles- -Gustave looks at the camera.- Speaking of "ruffians"...Braeburn! Happy Trails! -Gustave goes into his best western accent- Yippee ki-yay, pardners? -He snorts- Please...you two are an EMBARRASSMENT, a DISGRACE! EGO may as well be GIVEN the titles...

Fancy Pants: You have this strong connection with the crowd, but does that really matter? We don't think it does. EGO doesn't NEED the fans...the fans NEED EGO.

Gustave: Without EGO...the crowd deflates. And with you two "buckos" as their champions...they just may POP.

Fancy Pants: Which is why EGO is here to inflate them. With us as champions, they'll never run out of air...

-Gustave and Fancy Pants walk away, as Fleur continues to pose. When she notices she is alone, she runs after her clients.-

*Commercial*

EHEHEHEHE...everybody come see the greatest show... -Crowd cheers-

Announcer: The following contest is scheduled from ONE FALL...introducing first, from CLOUDSDAAALLEEEEE...weighing 157 pooouunddsss...MIIDDDNNIIIGHTTT STRRRIIKKEEEE!

-Midnight once again has no intentions to mess around. She stomps to the ring as the other Oddities are doing their own thing behind her. Dance Fever is channeling his inner Michael Jackson as he tries to moonwalk...and trips. Bill Neigh is bullying a Rubik's cube, Clip Clop's cheeks are expanding because apparently he has an allergic reaction to the brand of facepaint he is using, and Hugh Jelly is using a turkey baster to extract the jelly from a jelly doughnut. He squirts the jelly into his mouth and throws the doughnut itself aside.-

Garble: Who would waste such a good doughnut like that?!

*REDACTED THEME*

Announcer: And, her opponent...from Crystalville...weighing 131 pounds...HOONNEEYYCCOOMMBBBBB!

Ahuizotl: And we now will get to see what the BEAUTIFUL former beautician Honeycomb can do when she's all alone in that ring.

Garble: In all honesty, though, she couldn't have drawn a WORSE opponent to be paired up with. Midnight is flat out PISSED after what happened in her debut match last week.

Ahuizotl: She put up a GREAT showing in the battle royal, as she was in the final 6, but her FIRST match was met with...unfortunate results...

Garble: She got screwed! And it was all thanks to that DOOF Hugh Jelly!

Ahuizotl: Hugh didn't mean it! It was a simple accident.

Garble: An accident that sent Midnight off the deep end! She told me that she's looking to rectify that loss. Like I said, I would not WANT to be Honeycomb...well, I would, because I'd get to play with my boobies...but, still...

Ahuizotl: You give teenagers everywhere a bad name...

Match 3: Midnight Strike vs Honeycomb

-Honeycomb smiles, and extends a hand to Midnight, but Midnight responds by chopping Honeycomb into oblivion.-

Ahuizotl: Can't really blame Midnight here. She's said before that she isn't out to make friends.

Garble: Then why does she hang out with the Oddities? I don't get it. There's nothing ODD about Midnight, other than the fact that she looks like a bee...but that's it! What makes her "fit" into this group?

Ahuizotl: She doesn't know either.

Garble: That's...ODD.

Ahuizotl: Did you mean to do that?

Garble: No. I was trying to find the mode.

Bill Neigh: I can appreciate that joke! -Tries to air-five Garble-

Garble: Fat chance, lens-pusher.

-9 minutes later-

-Midnight scoop slams Honeycomb down to the mat, and goes to the top-rope.-

Ahuizotl: How impressive has Midnight looked tonight? She REALLY wants to make up for that embarrassing loss to Twist last week.

Garble: And she's going to do it, too! Honeycomb hasn't been able to get out of the starting gate ALL match!

-Clip Clop finishes his "Go Midnight" balloon, and ties it together. When he swats it into the air, it just so happens to go into the ring. Midnight jumps off of the ropes, looking for a diving headbutt. Honeycomb moves out of the way, but the balloon lands on the mat and doesn't. Midnight's head pops the balloon, and thus, her eye is injured in the process.-

Ahuizotl: Oh! That's not good at all...

Garble: One of Midnight's stupid friends screwed up again!

-Clip Clop begins to cry as Midnight writhes in pain. She has to use the ropes to help herself up. Honeycomb takes advantage of the tragedy and rolls up Midnight.-

1...2...3!

Announcer: Here is your winner...HOONNEEYCOOMMBB!

Garble: Unbelievable...it happened AGAIN. Midnight got screwed AGAIN!

-Honeycomb goes to check on Midnight, but Midnight responds by blindly cutting her down to the mat with her own feet.- She rolls out of the ring, and kicks the first member of the Oddities she can reach in the nuts, as she can't see. Unfortunately for Dance Fever, he was the one.-

Dance Fever: UGH! My disco balls...

-Midnight has to be helped to the back by Bill Neigh and Hugh Jelly, as Clip Clop cries, knowing it was all his fault.-

Ahuizotl: Poor Clip Cop...he didn't mean to...

Garble: Doesn't matter! For the second week in a row, Midnight has lost a fight that she otherwise WOULDN'T have! Not only that, now she's actually HURT.

-Honeycomb hugs Clip Clop on the outside.-

Ahuizotl: Well, got to give it to Honeycomb. She knew her surroundings, and got the win in her debut singles match.

Garble: Yeah, but she got it by the skin of her teeth...

*Interview Area*

Interviewer: Ladies and gentlemen, I am here with one of the participants in that HUGE 8 women tag team main event...Cadance!

Cadance: -Smiles- Hello there, *REDACTED NAME*.

Interviewer: Cadance, tonight, you have the opportunity to accomplish TWO things: Take out Sunset Shimmer, and get the winning pinfall and face Lightning Dust at Proving Ground. What's your gameplan?

Cadance: Well, I can tell you ONE thing: I DO plan to take out Sunset Shimmer. If I can get my hands on her, and pin her, though...wow. That's like killing THREE birds with one stone. I'll then move on to Proving Ground, and beat that tramp's friend for the championship! That'll make up for EVERYTHING that's happened to me...me and my Shining Armor. -Determined face- By the end of the month, we won't have to worry about that SKANK Sunset Shimmer ever aga-

-Cadance is blindsided by Sunset Shimmer. The interviewer scurries away as Sunset stands over Cadance's body. The leans down to her face.-

Sunset: Well now...you can't do ANY of those things if you're not even IN THE MATCH! -Sunset stomps on her gut, and drags her down the hall a little bit. She stops at a black chest.- You should've kept your nose out of MY BUSINESS, barbie! You'll ALWAYS have to worry about me...-Sunset places Cadance's head inside the chest.-...ALWAYS! -And slams it down on top of it.-

-Sunset places a boot on top of Cadance's already damaged head, and adds more pressure to it by forcing her boot down.-

Sunset: You're pa-THETIC! What does Shining Armor see in YOU? -Chuckles- By the end of this whole fiasco, he WILL realize that you are not as strong and AGGRESSIVE -Even more pressure- A WOMAN AS ME!

-Sunset removes her boot from her fallen victim's head and smirks as Shining Armor rushes up to Cadance.-

Sunset: Speak of the devil...do you SEE this, Shining Armor? Do you SEE what I've done to your sweetheart? THAT cannot be done to me! I'm BULLETPROOF!

Shing Armor silently looks at Cadance's unconscious frame. He is quickly surprised by a lightning fast kiss on the forehead from Sunset.-

Sunset: Hopefully you realize the mistakes you have made up to this point, and FIX them...-Sunset waves to Shining, and walks off with a feeling of "job well done!"-

Shining Armor: Oh, Cadance...-Shining lowers his head into Cadance's hair, and sobs quietly.- I'm so-OO so-OOrry...

*Commercial*

Announcer: The following contest, is a TRIPLE THREAT match, scheduled for ONE FALL, and...is to determine...who will face Overdrive, to become the Champion of Carnage...at Proving Ground...

-A small intro begins as a raw array of multiple lasers begin to dance on the middle of the stage. As the intro climaxes, they move apart.-

Well it's been such a long time coming, I thought you'd understand...

-A mixer's table with a laptop next to it rises off to the side of the stage, as we see a man with brown spiky hair on the top, which transcends into more spikes as it moves down the side. He has gray "Beats" headphones on around his neck, and has a pretty noticeable fake tan.-

DJ Zema Ion: Ladies and gentleman...you are now, in the mix...with the world's PRETTIEST DJ...ZEMA...IIIIIIIOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNN! -He taps a button on his laptop repeatedly, and it makes the basketball horn sound.- YEAH! And it is my honor, to introduce...the soon to be CHAMPION...OF CAARRRNAAAGGGGEEEEEEE...ladies, remember this name-YOU'LL be screaming it later...NEEEONNN...LIIIIIIGGHHTTTTTTSSSSSSSSS! -There is more basketball horn, as the beat to "Showdown" by Pendulum DROPS, and with it, rises Neon Lights, who comes marching out onto the stage like a crack-baby.-

Garble: Awwww YEAH! Hear this song at ALL the parties!

Ahuizotl: Who would invite YOU to a party?

Garble: Neon Light said everybody that's COOL is PARTYING tonight after he wins...that does NOT include YOU, 'Zotl!

Zema: MAKE SOME NOOOOOOOIIIIIISSSSSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! -More basketball sounds as made as Neon Lights brofists Zema. He gets in the ring and begins to run around like a complete idiot, or like The Miz circa 2006.-

Since they wanna know...

Announcer: And...his opponent...FIRST...from Loneyville...weighing 157 POOOUNNDSSS...GIIIIZZZZMMMMMMMOOOO!

Garble: LAME. What a nerdy paste-faced loser this guy is...

-Geri, Gizmo's "corner-man", and grand-father leads his worried and panicked grandson to the ring. Geri points to the ring at Neon Lights, and tells Gizmo to "F him up." Gizmo throws a few practice jabs that his grandfather compliments him on. Gizmo gets into the ring, and sits him on a stool in his corner as Geri massages his back.-

Geri: Yur a killah, kid...an absolute KILLAH. Yur gonna rope these dopes and win dah title at dah pay per view. Got it?

Gizmo: Errr...-wheezes- I think so, grandpa...

Geri: It's just like Ali Baba said: "I'm a terrorist, and I hate bees!"

Gizmo: I'm not sure if that's how the saying goes...

Geri: Well, we can't ask Ali himself cuz he blew himself up, so just go with it.

Garble: This show cannot be saved...-buries his face into his hands-

-The lights go out, as we see those same tassel-covered blue boots from last weeks. They are moved in a straight line down the ramp, and then are guided back up to the ramp. When the light goes back on, Rumble already has his glasses off, and is cutting another picture perfect face.-

Garble: I stand corrected...it CAN be saved!

-Rumble begins his trek to the ring, with Flitter and Cloudchaser in toe. Horsepower had to quickly setup the velvet rope, but he got it done just in time to let Rumble and his ladies through. All the while this was happening, Rumble was, of course...taking selfies. He continues to take selfies as he lays on the apron, and as he gets into the ring.-

Crowd: RUMBLE'S GORGEOUS! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP* RUMBLE'S GORGEOUS! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP*

Match 4: Rumble vs Gizmo vs Neon Lights

-The bell rings, and Rumble will not cease with the taking of selfies.-

Ahuizotl: Holy CRAP...-sighs- Doesn't this guy's phone battery EVER die?

Garble: Hey! You can't just RUSH gorgeous! Gorgeous needs to PLAY itself out...

Ahuizotl: -Rolls his eyes- Whatever. Just tell us about our two DEBUTING superstars...I've heard ENOUGH about Rumble for one night.

Garble: -Shrugs- Have it your way. It's not very complex. Neon Lights is one one of the biggest DJ's in Equestria, as well has Vinyl Scratch's main collaborator-

Ahuizotl: And yet he needs his OWN DJ?

Garble: Oh COURSE he does. As soon as he goes through that curtain, he has to focus on WRESTLING. That's what Zema Ion is for! I know NOTHING about him...

Ahuizotl: And what about Gizmo?

Garble: HA! Oh...where do I start? He's a nerd who WANTED to work in computers like his dad, but his grandfather, Geri Gloves, one of the GREATEST boxers in Equestrian history, changed his mind with 100 year old stories of him getting the first cauliflower ear and stupid stuff like that. Long story short...Gizmo isn't meant to be a rough and tough boxer...he's a WIMP.

Ahuizotl: Maybe his granddad's training WILL pay off...we've seen some pretty big upsets here on Lunacy ALREADY...THIS could be one of those.

Garble: I doubt it.

-7 minutes later-

-Gizmo tries to run off the ropes, but DJ Zema Ion grabs his foot. He then gets on the apron, and distracts him.-

Garble: Good! I want Rumble to win, but as long as Gizmo the Geek loses, I'm fine!

-Neon Lights runs at Gizmo, but Gizmo instinctively moves out of the way, causing Neon to clothesline Zema to the floor.-

Ahuizotl: Looks like he should've stayed at the record-scratcher...

-Neon turns around, and runs into a jumping right hand from Gizmo.- The crowd cheers loudly in response.-

Garble: WHOA! Are you kidding me?

Ahuizotl: Gizmo MAY surprise us yet!

-Gizmo cannot believe it. He gets a sudden adrenaline rush, and lowers himself down to the bottom rope by his grandfather.-

Geri: You got dis in dah bag, kid! Now PUNCH that prettyboy's ticket!

Gizmo: -Wheezing uncontrollably- Alright! I can do it! -Gizmo raises himself with the ropes, and holds his fist into the air by the corner as Rumble stirs.-

Garble: No...no...NO!

Ahuizotl: Gizmo is feeling it!

-The crowd is split. Half are chanting "LET'S GO RUMBLE", and the other half is chanting "LET'S GO GIZMO!"-

-Just as Rumble gets up, Gizmo comes running at him.-

Gizmo: THE EYE OF THE TIIIIGGGGEEEER-

-Only to get caught in midair by a spinning heel kick. The crowd that was chanting for Gizmo falls silent, as Rumble's fans go wild.-

Garble: WHAT A COUNTER! CAPITALIZE, RUMBLE!

1...2...3!

Garble: YEEEEEEEEES! THIS SHOW HAS BEEN SAVED!

-As Rumble's music hits, Flitter and Cloudchaser joyfully enter the ring, and hug their man.-

Announcer: Here is your winner...RRRRRRRUUUUUUUMBLLLLLEEEEEE!

Ahuizotl: I TRULY thought Gizmo was going to pull it out...I REALLY did. But Rumble...say what you will about him...he has a LOT going for him. And you have to feel that he will be going into Proving Ground...with more confidence than anybody in the world.

Garble: My maaaaan! He did it! I knew he could! Maybe now Overdrive can stop COMPLAINING, because here tonight, Rumble has PROVED...that he is ready to be champion...and I can't wait to see that GORGEOUS belt, around his GORGEOUS waist...

-Rumble grabs his cell phone, and takes more selfies over a befallen Gizmo's body. Horsepower disposes of the body over the top rope, as Rumble and his valets celebrate up the ramp.-

*Commercial*

-We come back live and see Sparkler using the ropes to stretch before her match.-

Ahuizotl: Welcome back ladies and gentlemen, to Monday Night Lunacy. You can see Sparkler...preparing for her match.

Garble: And I've been told her opponent is...well, "under the influence", so to speak...

*GLASS SHATTERS*

Ahuizotl: I see what you did there...

Announcer: And...her opponent...from Loneyviiilleeeee...BEEEEERRRRRRYYYYY...PUUUUUUUNNNNCCCCCHHHHH!

-Berry Punch comes out with a black jacket that states "B.Y.O.B.", or "Bring Your Own Berries." She walks to the ring with a no-nonsense attitude, and shoves Sparkle out of her way as she climbs the top rope, and throws her two middle fingers into the air. She does this with all three other turnbuckles, and launches Sparkler into a corner.-

Ahuizotl: Oh! She's wasting no time!

-Berry Punch stomps at Sparkler into the corner into she falls at a seated position. She then continues to stomp into her chest, as the referee begins to count.-

Ref: 1...2...3...4...-he grabs a hold of Berry Punch- COME ON BREAK THE HOLD!

-Berry turns around, and flips the referee off. The crowd erupts in cheers.-

Garble: HAHA! What a cool chick! The law listens to HER!

-Berry comes off the ropes, and hits a Uol Zseht press on Sparkler, along with a fury of punches.-

Ahuizotl: Berry Punch in ABSOLUTE control in the opening part of this match!

-Berry stalks Sparkler until she gets up, and turns around...-

-Before Berry Punch can hit the Bar Tab, she collapses right in the middle of the ring. The crowd gasps.-

Garble: What the hell...?

Ahuizotl: I...I believe this woman has just passed out...

-Sparkler looks around the ring in confusion. After a moment, she drops to her knees, rolls Berry over, and pins her.-

1...2...3! -The crowd doesn't know what to think as the bell rings, and Sparkler runs to the back.-

Announcer: Here is your winner...Sparkleeeerrr...

Ahuizotl: Uhhhhh...

Garble: I'm with you all the way on that...

Ahuizotl: Perhaps she shouldn't have drank before the match...

Garble: Maybe she'll learn her lesson next time...

Don't hate me cuz I'm beautiful...don't hate me cuz I speak true... -Most of the crowd boos, but some cheer.-

Garble: All right! That can only mean one thing!

Ahuizotl: Main event time?

Garble: Well, I was thinking Turf and Silver Spoon time, but that's good, too...

-Turf and Silver Spoon walk out onto the stage with a very fragile Diamond Tiara. She is wearing a neckbrace.-

Garble: Awwwwww...poor baby!

Ahuizotl: Oh please. Why couldn't she just stay home?

Garble: Shut up! This young woman is in the recuperating process! She has the right to support her friends if she wants!

-Diamond Tiara tries to wave at the crowd, but finds it too difficult as she holds her neck in place. Turf and Silver Spoon look very worried with every move she takes. Silver Spoon opens the ropes for her, and Turf leads Diamond Tiara inside the ring carefully.-

-Turf uses her boot to ROLL the still passed out Berry Punch out of the ring. The crowd boos some more.-

Garble: Get out of there, you drunk! Make way for Diamond Tiara!

Ahuizotl: Oh will you stop it?

Garble: She's lucky to even be able to WALK, 'Zotl! After that VISCOUS attack at the hands of Scootaloo last week!

Ahuizotl: It was a sanctioned match! Whatever happened has been documented as a fair affair!

-Silver Spoon grabs a mic for Diamond Tiara, and carefully places it into Diamond's hand.-

-As Diamond Tiara begins to speak, she is interrupted by chants of "HOW'S YOUR NE-ECK?" and five claps after each time.-

Garble: How disrespectful...LET HER TALK!

-Now trending on Twitter: "Flash Sentry", "Rumble", and "#BasketballGoal."

Diamond Tiara: I just wanted all of you to know, that you're not going to bring me down! -Most of the crowd boos.- Oh, no! Not this time! -She begins to tear up.- None of you...*sniffle*...have ANY idea what kind of pain I'm going through right now! It's hard to eat, it's hard to talk...I can't look up too high or I'll sprain my neck...

Crowd: BUUUULL-SHIT! BUUUUULL-SHIT! BUUUUULL-SHIT!

Diamond: QUIIIIEETT! -Diamond screams, but quickly realizes that was a bad idea as she looks down at the canvas.- I don't need any of you...not ONE of you sent me any "Get Well Soon" messages...none of you cared when I got injured, and none of you seem to care now! WELL FINE! -Silver Spoon tries to calm Diamond down. It seems to work.- The doctor doesn't know how long I'll be out...but while I'm gone...the only two people I need! The only two people that CARE! Silver Spoon and Turf...the two girls that are more FLAWLESS than any of YOU neck-beards could ever DREAM of being...are going to AVENGE me...they are going to make you PAY for what you did to me, Scootaloo...and I'm going to enjoy EVERY. SINGLE. MINUTE of it! And that starts TONIGHT! Because one of these two beautiful, FIERCE females...are going to PIN you, and gain that title shot at Proving Ground! And the one who DOESN'T...challenges you to a MATCH at Proving Ground! AND THEN YOU'LL SEE...WHY I'M DIAMOND TIARA! AND WHY I ALWAYS GET WHAT I WANT! -Diamond slams the mic down, perhaps a little too hard, and has to be courted out of the ring, and onto a chair outside of the ring by the announce table.-

Garble: What a PASSIONATE speech by Diamond Tiara! I cannot WAIT for her to get back in the ring, but at least I have comfort in knowing that Scootaloo will get what's coming to her...

Ahuizotl: We will find out who will face Lightning Dust for her championship at Proving Grounds...the 8 women tag team main event...is NEXT!

Garble: Is Cadance going to be able to compete?!

*Commercial*

Ahuizotl: We are BACK, everybody...with the main event of the evening!

Garble: Sunset Shimmer is the LAST one to enter this match...as you can see, Cadance is NOT already in the ring. It appears she will not be able to make it out to the match...

Ahuizotl: And it's all thanks to that premeditated ASSAULT by Sunset Shimmer a while ago, that we will be having a 4 on 3 HANDICAP match here tonight.

Garble: Not only did Sunset take out Cadance, but she made the odds THAT much better for a member of her team to take home the title shot.

Ahuizotl: OR for Lightning Dust to pick her own opponent.

Garble: True. I wonder who she'd pick?

Announcer: Aaand, their opponent...from CANTERLOT...weighing 143 pooouunnddsss...SUNSEEEETTT...SHIMM-

-Sunset's introduction is cut off, as Cadance runs down the ramp and LEAPS onto Sunset's back, knocking her down to the steel floor below. The crowd cheers in surprise, as others boo.-

Garble: Wait a minute! There's Cadance!

Ahuizotl: She is NOT pathetic like Sunset implied, because she's got her attacker REELING!

-Sunset backs up against the barricade by the first set of steel steps. Cadance charges at her, and clotheslines both Sunset and herself into the crowd.-

Ahuizotl: Into the crowd they go! Give them some room!

-Cadance advances on Sunset, but she gets floored with a desperate kick to the gut. Sunset scurries away up the steps, but Cadance quickly gets up and pursuits after her, the fans patting the two female athletes on the shoulder as they make their way up the stairs. They soon make their way to a guardrail. Below that, is a small tech area with water to those who are manning the lights in the arena.-

Garble: This is NOT a good place to be! Sunset should've hurried up and gotten in the ring!

-Sunset tries to ram Cadance into the guardrail, but Cadance blocks it, and bashes the head of Sunset into it herself. Cadance backs up.-

Ahuizotl: We've seen enough crazy stuff tonight, Cadance! We don't need to see anyMOOOOOORRREEEEE! -Cadance spears Sunset, breaking the guardrail and sending them both through the wooden table that was holding bottles of water below.-

Garble: IT NEVER ENDS! THE MOMENTS NEVER END HERE ON LUNACY!

Crowd: HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!

Garble: That's the SECOND TIME the fans have chanted that tonight...and ONCE AGAIN...it's WORTHY! WHAT THE HELL ARE THE ATHLETES HERE ON LUNACY NOT UP FOR PUTTING THEMSELVES THROUGH?! WHAT, DAMMIT I ASK YOU!

Ahuizotl: THAT is what makes the superstars of the Equestrian Wrestling Federation the most PHYSICAL and ENTERTAINING athletes on the face of this earth!

Garble: Now neither Cadance OR Sunset Shimmer are going to be able to complete! This has all of a sudden, turned into a SIX WOMEN TAG!

Main Event: Turf, Silver Spoon and Lightning Dust vs Scootaloo, Rarity, and Twilight Sparkle

-25 minutes later-

-Scootaloo is standing on the top rope. She is waiting for the other legal women, Lightning Dust, to get up. The referee is occupied checking on Silver Spoon, who was just pulled off of the apron and SLAMMED right into the barricade by Rarity. All the other participants are scattered around the ring.-

Ahuizotl: Look out, Scootaloo!

-Scootaloo is clobbered in the shoulder by a steel chair shot from Diamond Tiara, who had just gotten up from her seat, and onto the apron to use that same seat. The crowd's boos are DEAFENING as Scootaloo falls to the canvas.-

Ahuizotl: OH COME ON! I THOUGHT SHE WAS INJURED!

Garble: It doesn't take THAT MUCH willpower to deliver some retribution to your most hated enemy...

Ahuizotl: Oh that's such CRAP! Scootaloo was on her way to Proving Ground right there!

Garble: You don't know that...and hey! Now there's still a chance either Silver Spoon or Turf can redeem their gal-pal in a match against Scootaloo! It's all going to work out in the end!

-By the time the referee has turned around, Diamond Tiara is already sitting where she was before, like nothing ever happened. Twilight quickly gets on the apron, reaches down, and tags Scootaloo's shoulder. She tries to get in the ring and finish off Lightning Dust, but Turf has grabbed a hold of her foot. As Twilight tries to kick at her, Silver Spoon has gotten back into the ring, kicked Twilight in the gut, and has moved her back into the ring in position for a suplex. Turf gets into the ring to make that a DOUBLE suplex, but Rarity runs up at the last second to deliver a DOUBLE neckbreaker to turf and Silver Spoon!-

Ahuizotl: Rarity saves her from Twilight from imminent doom! What an AMAZING move!

-When Rarity turns around, she is face to face with Lightning Dust.-

*FULMINOLOGY!* -Most of the crowd cheers.-

Garble: Aww yeah! Now Lightning Dust is all alone to pick the bones of a dazes Twiligh-

-Diamond Tiara gets back up on the apron, and begins to yell at Lightning Dust.-

Diamond: NO! IF YOU WIN, YOU'LL JUST PICK SOMEBODY EASY TO BEAT! LET TURF OR SILVER SPOON GET THE PIN!

Lightning Dust: Go text your boyfriend, BITCH! I am the CHAMPION, and I'll pick WHOEVER I want! Those two hoes had their chance to win, and they BLEW i-

-Twilight comes up from behind Lightning Dust, and rolls her up.-

1...2...-Lightning Dust pushes Twilight off of her, causing Twilight to collide with Diamond Tiara, who falls off of the apron and hits her neck against the barricade.-

Garble: Goddammit WHY?! She was just looking out for her homegirls!

Ahuizotl: The match isn't over yet!

-Twilight seems a bit disturbed by what just happened, which gives Lightning Dust the perfect opening to go for her finisher, Astraphobia. Twilight lands on her feet.-

*TAKE A NOTE!*

Ahuizotl: THERE IT IS! COVER!

1...2...3! -The bell rings, and most of the crowd boos.-

Garble: COOOMMMMEEEEE OOOOOOONNNNNNNNN! -Garble begins bashing the table cover in frustration.- COME ON!

Spike: Here is your winner, and the NUMBER ONE CONTENDDDDEERR...TWWWIILLIIIGGHHTTT...SPPPAARRKLLLEEEEE! -The crowd boos some more.-

Ahuizotl: What an INCREDIBLE ending sequence! Look on the bright side, boy, at least we'll have a competitive championship match at Proving Grounds!

Garble: -Sighs- I just wanted Diamond Tiara to be happy...but you're right. If that ending is ANY indication, Lightning Dust's first challenger may be the toughest she'll ever have to face, and I can't WAIT to see how THAT battle's going to turn out!

Ahuizotl: Until next week...GOODBYE, folks! I'm Ahuizotl...

Garble: And I'm Garble...

-The show ends with Spike raising Twilight's hand high in the air. Silver Spoon and Turf are tending to Diamond Tiara outside the ring. Twilight lays Lightning Dust's title over her prone belly.-

Crowd: WE WANT DARING! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP* WE WANT DARING! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP*

Ahuizotl: UUUUUGGGGGGHHHH YOU COULDN'T CUT OFF SOON ENOUGH?!

*End of Show.*

Quick Results:

Colgate defeated Twist
Flash Sentry defeated Snails
Honeycomb defeated Midnight Strike
Rumble defeated Neon Lights and Gizmo
Sparkler defeated Berry Punch
Twilight Sparkle, Scootaloo, and Rarity defeated Turf, Silver Spoon, and Lightning Dust