Dan vs Equestria
Chapter 7: Twilight Sparkle vs Dan
Previous Chapter Next ChapterDAN VS.
It was another, beautiful morning at the Equestria-side. Twilight got out of her bed and yawned.
„Another, beautiful day awaits me... Spike!" She shouted.
Spike woke up as well: „Uh, huh? What? Oh!" Spike jumped up „At your service!"
„Tell me everything I have on my list for today!" Twilight said.
Spike answered: „You don't have a list for today. You have finished everything neccessary. Maybe you could look for your friends again... You havent met them in weeks!"
„That's a great idea!" Twilight said happily.
So she left the house to visit her friends:
-Rarity's shop burnt down: „He was the devil in Person! He just was THE! WORST! POSSIBLE! THING!"
-Applejack's farm seemed okay, but Applejack said: „Could you please do something about this jerk of kidnapper, Twilight? I ask you because you are the most powerful unicorn I know, if you know what I mean?"
-Fluttershy's cottage empty, Fluttershy found in the middle of nowhere, hiding in a deep hole: „Don't look at me, I am a monster!"
-Pinkie Pie sitting in a corner, deep sad: „He doesn't want to be my friend... No one wants to! I am just a ridiculous clown! Go away, Twilight!"
-Rainbow Dash in hospital with broken wings: „Twilight! You have to do something about this excuse for a human! He broke my wings, on purpose, even though I repaired his whole apartement! I tell you, this Dan doesn't play fair at all!"
„A-HA!" Twilight shouted „So THAT is his name. Don't worry, Rainbow Dash, that human just made his worst enemy!" Angrily she raised her hoof into the sky:
„DAAAAAAAAAAN!"
TWILIGHT SPARKLE
VS.
DAN
Dan was sitting on his couch, watching TV and petting his cat, Mr. Mumbles, when someone knocked on the door repeatedly, until Dan opened: „Oh hi. Who are you?" he asked.
In front of Dan was Twilight, with a dead serious expression on her face: „I am Twilight Sparkle, your neighbor from across! You hurt my friends, and I am here to take revenge for it!"
Long pause.
Then Dan asked: „Wait, Twilight Sparkle? The one who lives in that tree across the street?"
„Yeah!" Twilight answered without any change in her expression.
„Good!" Dan said „I have you on my revenge list, too!"
„Wait what? Why do you want to take revenge on me? We haven't even met before!"
„Well, you live in a tree" Dan answered „That is ridiculous. By the way I hate trees... and you."
„Why do you hate ME?" Twilight asked.
Dan shouted: „I DON'T KNOW, I JUST HATE YOU! So, what do we do now? I mean, you want revenge, I want revenge... How do we settle this?"
„Epic... Boss... Battle..." Twilight said slowly and angry.
Dan answered: „I like that idea! Let us set the preparation time limit to 24 hours."
„Granted." Twilight said „See you tomorrow, jerk!"
With that, Twilight slammed Dan's door.
Now Dan called Chris, but he didn't answer the call, so Dan spoke on his mailbox: „WHERE ARE YOU, CHRIS! I NEED YOUR HELP, NOW! YOU WORTHLESS SCUM! YOU ARE NOT MY FRIEND ANYMORE! ...If you get this, I am on my way to your house... It's Dan." He then left his apartement to visit Chris.
Twilight in the meanwhile was back at home: „SPIKE!"
Spike came down the stairs: „Yes, Twilight?"
„I am going to fight against Dan! Tell me his weaknesses!"
„Uh, I don't really know this guy..." Spike answered „But I know who you can ask about Dan's weaknesses!"
„Who?" Twilight asked.
Spike responded: „Do you remember Chris, one of the newest friends we made? When we visted him, he told us he is best friends with that Dan! He can tell us some weaknesses for sure!"
„You are right!" Twilight said „To Chris!" And with that, Twilight and Spike were on their way to Chris' house.
1 hour later, Dan arrived at Chris' home. As always, he hid in the bushes and knocked on the back window.
Chris opened it: „Hi, Dan, I got your message. I was buying food from the supermarket, sorry. Feel free to come in."
Dan got in through the window and came straight to the point: „So, what can I use against this unicorn Twilight Sparkle?"
„Well" Chris answered „with her magic, she is nearly unstoppable. But that is also the point: Elise was recently working on a power-drain-thingy that can drain someone's power and give it to you. So I already did you the service of stealing it. Here you go." He gave the device to Dan and then also gave him the human-pony-transformation device „I also got you the transformation device from your revenge against Rainbow Dash. Maybe you can use it..."
„Thank you, Chris. You are a really great friend." Dan answered.
He left the house through the front door, where he met Twilight, talking to Elise!
„Oh, hi Dan!" Elise said „I took the freedom of telling Twilight your weaknesses!"
„Aw come on!" Dan shouted „Aw, who cares, I am prepared! So lets get this battle started!"
„What?" Twilight asked „But the 24 hours aren't over yet..."
„Yeeeaaah, that was actually just an excuse to buy some time." Dan answered „Bring it on!"
He held the two devices in both his hands, ready to use.
„Fine!" Twilight shouted „I will beat you anyway, no matter if now or in 22 hours and 50 minutes..."
„That's what YOU think!" Dan grinned and aimed with the power-drain-device at Twilight.
When he started to fire, Twilight teleported around the beams, making it pretty difficult for Dan to hit her.
„Hold still!" Dan shouted „You make it very difficult for me to hit you!"
With the next teleport spell, Twilight stood right in front of Dan, nose to nose.
She grinned „Hi." and then shot Dan with a powerful beam of her horn.
Dan was cooked by that beam and became even more angry: „That's it! This time I hit you!" And he really did! He drained Twilight's magic and got her powers!
„Is that my power-drain-device?" Elise asked Chris.
Chris smiled awkwardly: „Yeah, I stole it. Sorry. Why do you have such a device anyway?"
„Just in case a supervillain shows up, so one of us can gain their powers and defeat them more easily!"
„Why should there a supervillain show up in our town?"
„Hey, you didn't suspect the dentist to be a supervillain as well!"
„True."
Twilight said to Dan: „You do know you just have a part of my magic? I can still block your magic with mine!"
„Not if I can help it" Dan answered and shot Twilight with the transformation device, transforming her from an unicorn into a pegasus!
Twilight gasped: „My horn! It's gone! And now I have wings instead? I don't even know how to fly!"
„Well, Twilight? What do you do now?" Dan grinned. He now started to use Twilight's magic against her, that means he shot her with magic beams coming out of his hands.
Twilight ran away, followed by Dan. She thought about a backup plan, and she got an idea!
„I have to reunite with my friends! But I can't do that with Dan on my back..." So she started to try flying, which looked very awkward on the first few tries, but then she got it... kind of. She was flying upside down now, BUT she was flying. So she started to gain more and more speed, until Dan lost her.
„Oh, great!" Dan said angrily „I should have transformed her into an earth pony... Oh well, she will come back..." And with that Dan sat down at the border of the street, waiting for Twilight's return.
Twilight in the meanwhile visited all her friends once again:
-„Rarity, stop crying, get out of these ruins and help me to convince Dan to repair this mess!"
-„Applejack, I need you in my fight against Dan! Follow me and Rarity!"
-„Fluttershy, you are not a monster! You did the right thing! So help me to do it too! Come on!"
-„Pinkie Pie, no one hates you! Dan cheated! He told everyone wrong things about you! He destroyed your fun!" Pinkie Pie: „WHAT! DAN! YOU... BROKE... PINKIE PROMISE!"
-„Rainbow Dash, I know your wings are still broken, but we need you in our fight against Dan! Follow us! I got a plan..."
Dan was waiting for two hours now. „Huh. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe she doesn't come back... which would mean that I win..." He began to smile, but that smile vanished seconds later „Oh, no, there she comes..."
The camera now just shows the hooves of the mane six, walking into Dan's direction with epic background music! The camera then zooms out to reveal the six friends wearing the elements of harmony!
Chris, standing in the background together with Elise, told her: „The elements of harmony. Now Dan's done for."
„Oh wow, sweet jewelry!" Dan said „It really suits you. But do you really think you can beat me just because it is now 6 vs. 1?"
„No." Twilight answered „We think we can beat you because we are using the elements of harmony against you!"
„Elements of what?" Dan asked curiously.
The ponies began to perform their usual rituals: They were lifted up into the air, their elements glowing, and in front of the other five ponies, Twilight opened her white glowing eyes. A rainbow-banish-laser-thingy (?) began to form and aimed into Dan's direction.
Dan fired some of Twilight's magic at it, but he realized that he overestimated his new powers: He got caught in a rainbow tornado, which was supposed to banish him to the moon for 1000 years!
„Dan!" Chris shouted, in fear that he would lose his best friend.
But when the tornado finished its banishing ritual and disappeared, Dan was still there!
„Wait, what?" Chris and Twilight asked surprised.
Dan answered: „Aw, come on, did you think that would work on me? This is by far not my first time someone used magical elements to banish me."
„Wait, what?" Twilight asked again, this time confused.
Dan said: „Well, if you would know about my childhood... Oh, the good old times..." he daydreamed.
All the mane six were so shocked by that comment that their mouths dropped all the way down to the ground. Twilight then said: „Well, that explains a lot. Fine, we give up."
„For real?" Dan asked.
„Yeah" Twilight answered „Let us drink some milk about it." She offered him a glass of milk.
Dan took it „Well, I sure am a little thirsty after that fight..." So he drunk the milk and suddenly fell down to the ground, holding his belly in pain: „Aaaaaaaaaarg! Lactose! You monster! Call the ambulance!"
„Why should I do that?" Twilight asked angrily.
Dan answered: „Because shut up that's why!"
„No. If you turn everything back to normal and repair the damage you've done, then we will call the ambulance."
„Fine, fine! I'll do it! I just need ambulance!"
„Chris, call the ambulance." Twilight said to Chris.
3 days later Dan got out of the hospital and met Twilight and her friends outside.
„Now that you are okay again" Twilight said „It's time for your part of the deal..."
„What deal?" Dan asked.
Twilight answered: „Duh, you promised to clean everything up!"
„Oh, that..." Dan said „I never promised that. It was a lie."
Suddenly Pinkie Pie interrupted: „At this point, I once again want to draw your attention to the fact that you broke a Pinkie Pie Promise!" She sounded really angry „You can still make that good by cleaning everything up, or else..."
„Or else what?" Dan asked. Pinkie Pie took him on the throat with one hoof and suddenly grew a fireball in her other hoof, ready to fire it.
„Phh, fire?" Dan asked, not very impressed „I burn down houses at least once per week! How did you get that power anyway?"
„It doesn't matter!" Pinkie Pie said in a dark voice „And it's not THAT kind of fire..."
What Pinkie said, surprised Dan. Half respectfully, half in fear, he said: „Okay, easy, Pinkie! I changed my mind!"
„Okey Dokey Lokey!" Pinkie said excited, and Dan got to work.
He repaired everything he had destroyed, turned Twilight back into an unicorn and gave her her full power back. Then he apologized to the six ponies: „I am sorry. I didn't know you were that powerful! I... I will let you alone from now on. BUT everypony else will get their revenge sooner or later! It's just that I will except you from them."
„Seems okay to me..." Rainbow Dash said.
Applejack continued: „Well, if ya can't live without taking revenge... But take it easy on them! Otherwise, we will come back!"
„Oh my gosh, no! I promise! This time for real!" Dan shouted in shock. „I... I think I'm gonna go now. I'm gonna miss my favourite show." And with that, Dan left the mane six.
„Dan is on a good way" Twilight said „Maybe someday we can reform him to let things go and never take revenge on anything ever again..."
Suddenly she heard Dan shouting from the distance: „DEEERPYYY HOOOOOVES!"
„... but until then, it is a long way..." she sighed.