Dan vs Equestria
Chapter 2: Dan vs Rarity
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Dan walked around in a circle, thinking about his revenge on Equestria, which had appeared next to his house, but he didn't know where to start. „Meh, maybe some TV will give me an idea..." So Dan turned on his TV, which was magically repaired since he throwed a brick into it. Suddenly, someone was knocking on the door, and Dan opened: „Oh great, it's one of these ponies" he rolled his eyes.
Right in front of Dan was a white unicorn with a curled purple mane: „Oh my, how do you look? I just HAVE to come in! We have to do something about your clothes!" The unicorn changed Dan's clothes into a pink dress and continued: „Oh, and these rings under your eyes! You whole face looks terrible!"
„Wait, what are you doing?" Dan asked as he saw that the unicorn came with some make-up. „Wait, no! I refuse to wear this! Why did I even let you put me on a pink dress? NOOO!"
5 minutes later the unicorn was finished and Dan looked beautiful... which he didn't like.
„Grrrrrrrrrr... Now I know exactly where to start!" Dan shouted.
„Start with what?" the unicorn asked.
Dan answered: „With my revenge on Equestria! Say, how's your name?"
The unicorn responded: „My name is Rarity. I am the most generous pony in all of Equestria and the latest in fashion! You should really visit..."
„RAAARIIITYYY!"
DAN
VS.
Rarity
„Get out!" Dan shouted as he kicked Rarity out of his house. He then called his friend Chris. „Come on, Chris, get on the phone... What takes you so long? What kind of a friend lets his friend wait on the phone? GET ON THE PHONE, OR YOU ARE DEAD TO ME!"
That moment Chris got on the phone: „Hi Dan. What is it this time?"
„Finally!" Dan shouted „I need you to come over to my place and get me out of this embarrassing pink dress!"
„Wait, you are wearing a pink dress?" Chris giggled.
Dan shouted at him: „THIS IS NOT FUNNY! THAT RARITY-UNICORN WILL PAY!"
„Wait wait wait..." Chris interrupted „Rarity? Like Rarity from My Little Pony?"
„Yeah, you know her?"
„Uh, well, kind of... I am a huge MLP-Fan..."
„YOU TRAITOR!" Dan shouted „You have joined the enemy forces! We are no longer friends! We are done!"
Chris answered: „Uh, you do know that as an MLP-Fan I can give you important information about Rarity and every other pony of Equestria? Besides, you need me to get out of that dress."
„Fine, come over here right now." Dan said and hung up.
In the meanwhile at Chris's and Elise's house, Chris now hung up as well. He went to the living room, where Elise was watching TV, and asked her: „Uh, honey, I am going to Dan..."
„What is it this time?" Elise asked without looking away from the TV screen.
Chris answered: „It's Equestria, Rarity in particular. You know I would love to go there! Can I? Please?"
„Sure. Have fun." Elise answered. So Chris left the house to drive to Dan.
Ten minutes later Chris arrived.
„What took you so long?" Dan asked „Get me out of this dress!" So Chris helped Dan getting out, and Dan put his normal clothes back on. „Give me 5 minutes" Dan said „have to get rid of that make-up..." He went into the bathroom and came back out looking normal again.
„I know it was my idea" Chris said „but do I HAVE to help you against Rarity? I actually like her."
„Yes, you have!" Dan answered „You are my source of information! So, how can we hurt her?"
„Well, she runs a fashion establishement, so you would be good with destroying her work..." Chris said.
„Great!" Dan said excited „Lets get the explosives..."
„I didn't mean to blow it up!" Chris shouted in fear „Listen, Rarity has a cat. The cat is really easy to upset, so you could manipulate her in destroying the dresses."
„Great, lets go." Dan said „You are driving." The two friends left the house to visit Rarity.
When they arrived, they were hiding in the bushes, waiting for Rarity to leave her house. And as she did, Dan and Chris sneaked in and found the cat. Dan tapped the cat on the shoulder just to receive a lot of scratches on his whole body: „Ouch! Normally I would kill you for that, you stupid cat! But my plan includes you following me, so..." Dan ran to one of the dresses Rarity made, followed by the angry cat. He then ducked, and the cat missed him and attacked the dress, which was now destroyed. Dan repeated it on all the dresses, and when he was finished, he talked to Chris: „Okay, lets leave before Rarity comes back..." But the two forgot about the cat, who was still angry and attacked both Dan and Chris until Rarity came back just to see the destroyed dresses and Dan and Chris in the middle of it.
„Aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!" Rarity shouted „My dresses! I guess you thought you can destroy me just by destroying my dresses! I see my cat proved you wrong! You two will never ever set a foot into my shop ever again! Oh dear, I have to make new dresses, thank goodness I still have my materials..." But before Rarity started to make new dresses, she first kicked out Dan and Chris.
„Great, now Rarity hates me!" Chris cried.
Dan interrupted him: „Shut up. We have to destroy her materials so she can't make any more dresses. Obviously, the cat isn't an option anymore..." Dan thought for a moment and then said: „Lightbulb! Chris, you can go. Meet me tonight at midnight, right here!"
Later, at midnight, Dan and Chris met in the bushes again, this time in black burglar suits.
„So here's the plan" Dan explained silently „We break in into her house and steal all her materials and any new dresses she made." Dan then was throwing a grappling hook on a rope on top of the roof, and the two friends climbed up the rope onto the roof. Dan then put the grappling hook on himself and made a hole into the roof with a circular saw. „Now hold the rope while I am going in." Dan explained and jumped through the hole into the house. He took all the materials and the new dresses and put them in two bags. „Okay, Chris, lift me up again!" Dan said, and Chris lifted Dan up.
Just a few seconds later, Rarity, who was sleeping in the shop, woke up and shouted: „Gasp! Oh no! My materials! How am I supposed to make new dresses now? I am going bankrupt! There is just one thing to do..."
„Yes! Yes!" Dan said excited as he heard what Rarity said.
Then Rarity continued: „I have to make some calls to get new materials!" And with that Rarity was going to her phone.
„Aw come on!" Dan shouted. He and Chris left the roof.
„Any other weaknesses?" Dan asked Chris.
Chris answered: „Well, she refuses to wear bad dresses on her own, and I MEAN refuse! If you could put her into a terrible dress, you could break her..."
„Perfect!" Dan said „How good are you at making dresses?"
„Besides of the fact I never made a dress before?" Chris asked.
That answer was good enough for Dan: „Here, take the materials. I want a terrible dress until tomorrow night!"
The next day there wasn't anything interesting happening. Dan was sitting on the couch watching TV all day, until Chris knocked on his door in the evening. Dan let him in, and Chris showed the dress he made: „Behold the most terrible dress the world has ever seen!"
„But... it's just my clothes with some patches everywhere" Dan said.
Chris responded: „But Rarity will look like the horror with human clothes, especially when they have patches."
„That is not good enough" Dan thought for a moment while looking into the room, until he saw some scissors. He took them and said: „Now it will be good enough!"
Later that night, Rarity began to feel uncomfortable while she was sleeping. Suddenly she woke up and saw no one, but she felt weird. So she lighted up a candle and walked to a mirror to take a look at herself: „Oh my gosh! These clothes! They totally don't fit my style! And who in all of Equestria cut off my mane!? It is the horror! Of all the worse things that could have happened, this is THE! WORST! POSSIBLE! THING!" Rarity ran around her shop while crying, which meant she didn't see where she was running, so she ran over the candle, which set the whole shop on fire! As Rarity was able to stop crying, she saw her shop in ruins. „NOOOOO! What have I done?"
That moment Dan shouted from outside: „That is what happens when you put me in a pink dress! Never mess with Dan!" Then he ran away.
Rarity didn't know anything else to do now than to stretch a hoof into the sky and shout:
„DAAAAAAAAAAAN!"