Dan vs Equestria
Chapter 15: Dan vs Trixie
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Dan was in his apartement, cooking some eggs in a frying pan, as he suddenly heard some strange – and annoying – noises from outside.
„Sounds like someone set up a dang circus down there!" Dan said annoyed „Better check it before I overreact as usual..."
So Dan looked out the window down the street, where he saw a light blue unicorn with a mane of the same color dressed in a purple magician outfit setting up a performance stage.
„I'm not sure if that's really a circus..." Dan thought „I should go down there and check it out, just to make sure..."
So he left his apartement to go to the crowded stage, where a performane was just about to begin! „Come one! Come all!" a voice shouted in excitement „To witness the magical abilities of the great and powerful..." Then a smoke cloud appeared, and out of that cloud appeared the blue unicorn Dan saw earlier „TRIXIE!" Then her music theme played. „Everything you can do, I can do better!"
„Shut up!" one of the ponies in the crowd said „We are all just here to boo you out of town!"
„Yeah!" Chris said, standing next to Dan „No one likes you!"
„Chris!" Dan was surprised „Even you don't like that unicorn? That's a first!"
„She is bragging way too much" Chris responded and then shouted at Trixie: „I bet my friend Dan here could beat you easily! He's a professional revenge planner!"
„Oh, is that so?" Trixie responded „In this case the great and powerful Trixie demands your friend Dan to come up this stage and upstage her!"
„Fine" Dan answered and came up the stage „But remember, YOU asked for it."
„So, how exactly are you planning to beat the great and powerful Trixie?" Trixie asked.
Dan responded: „Well, you said anything I can do, you can do better. So can you also do better revenge than me?" He took one of the screws holding the stage together, and same stage fell apart.
„NO! My stage!" Trixie shouted „Alright, it's on! Do you see your apartement over there?"
„Yes" Dan answered.
Trixie threw a smoke grenade to that point so the apartement wasn't seen anymore. As the smoke disappeared, the whole apartement was on fire!
„MY HOUSE!" Dan shouted.
„Well, what does the crowd say now?" Trixie asked into the crowd of watchers.
Chris saw Dan's red face and smiled: „Well, I say you shouldn't have done that..."
„What do you mean?" Trixie asked as she got interrupted by Dan:
„TRRIXXIIIEEE!"
DAN
VS.
The great and powerful
Trixie
„Chris, we have work to do!" Dan said and took Chris with him to Chris' house since Dan's apartement just got destroyed.
„Ha! Yeah, go and never come back!" Trixie shouted after them „No one can upstage the great and powerful Trixie!"
When the two friends arrived at Chris' house and sat down on the couch in the living room, Dan said: „I have to beat and upstage that goddamn unicorn out of this world into goddamn space!"
„Well, I don't have a single idea" Chris answered „No one really knows much about her in person. She just seems to think too high of herself, nothing more... no weak points or anything..."
„Huh, that's one hard case..." Dan thought „I guess we'll just do try and error to try to disable her... And thanks to the fact that no one likes her, I should have a lot more freedom without these elements of harmony on my back, but on Trixie's instead, which brings me to plan T..."
„Don't you mean plan A?"
„No, I mean plan T!"
A few moments later Dan knocked on Twilight Sparkle's door, and she opened.
Dan began to speak: „Hey, Twilight, would you mind helping me out with your magic?"
1 hour later, Trixie had already repaired her stage and was now preparing for her next show in her travelling wagon: „Stupid Dan... luckily I can rebuild my stage easily, which Dan can't say for his apartement, haha! Now, to the next performance..."
And so she stepped out of the wagon to go over to her stage, but suddenly she wasn't able to move any further!
„What? Why can't I move? I have to get over to the stage and entertain my fans!" She then realized „Wait... I am standing in some kind of magical goo... There must be another unicorn around here who must have done that... And since just the most powerful unicorns can perform such a spell, that only leaves one option: TWILIGHT SPARKLE! Will you ever learn to leave your magic out of Trixies business? Let me go or receive a beating from the great and powerful Trixie!"
„Uh oh" Twilight said, sitting in the bushes together with Dan. She stopped the spell and ran away: „Good luck, Dan!"
„What do you mean, good lu..." Dan was about to ask, as he turned back around to see Trixie standing right in front of him, nose to nose.
„And YOU, Dan! This is the second time today you are meddeling with the patience and understanding of the great and powerful Trixie! She will let you go this time, and only because she burned down your house. Run, before Trixie changes her mind!"
So Dan started to run as well, back to Chris' house.
„Plan T failed" Dan told Chris, who responded: „Ah well. I am sure a visit at Ninja Dave's Cookie Shop will give you another idea..."
„THAT'S IT!" Dan shouted in excitement „Chris, we are going to Ninja Dave's! I have to get a special bunch of cookies..." he grinned.
2 more hours later, Trixie was about to go give her third performance today, as someone knocked on the door of her travelling wagon.
She opened and saw Dan: „Dan! Didn't Trixie tell you to never show your face in her presence again?"
Dan responded: „Yeah, but I changed my mind regarding this whole revenge-stuff. I want us to be friends now. And as a little gift from a friend to a friend, I brought you some friendship cookies! You can try them if you want."
„Trixie will take the cookies." Trixie answered „But she will think about if she wants to eat them..."
With that she closed the door and ate a few of the cookies.
Shortly after, Trixies performance was about to start, and Dan and Chris were in the crowd again.
„Why are we watching her show again?" Chris asked.
Dan responded: „You'll see..."
In that moment Trixies music theme played, and Trixie appeared. She looked kinda ill, but she wasn't too ill to perform without problems.
„WHAT?" Dan couldn't believe it „But Dave told me the poison in the cookies would make her so sick that she would need to stay in bed FOR WEEKS!"
„Seems like Trixies health is stronger than any of us thought" Chris responded „But I know another poison that even Trixie can't withstand..."
Trixie was watching the two of them the whole time, and as she saw them leave, she thought: „Huh, guess I finally broke Dan. The great and powerful Trixie wins!"
Another 3 hours later, Trixie gave her fourth and for today last performance, to the relief of the booing crowd. Trixie did her usual entrance: „Come one, come all, to once again witness the incredible magical talents of the great and powerful TRIXIE!"
As the smoke disappeared to reveal Trixie on the stage, another voice continued: „And, only for this single performance, her opponent..." Another smoke cloud appeared and shortly after revealed Dan: „...Dan!"
The crowd cheered for Dan, who said: „Shut up down there! I'm not doing this for you! I'm doing it for me!"
„Not you again!" Trixie sighed „Haven't we been through this already? Trixie has already proven that she is better than you! What makes you think that you can beat her this time?"
„The answer is simple" Dan said and showed a bottle filled with an unknown liquid: „This bottle of a very special kind of magic that you have yet to aquire!"
„What?" Trixie was surprised „What kind of magic is this, and where did you find it!?"
„Doesn't matter" Dan answered „All I know is that I will use this magic against you! Once I drink this myterious liquid, its magic will flow through my body, and I will be able to defeat you one-handed!"
„Not if the great and powerful Trixie drinks it first!" Trixie responded and used her unicorn magic to teleport the bottle out of Dan's hand right in front of herself and then drunk it.
„Ha! What do you say now?" Trixie asked while her voice became more silent by the second „Now I have all the magic, and you have nothing! Wait a minute, why am I so silent? Can anyone still hear me? What's happe..." then her voice was completely muted. She continued talking, but no one heard what she said anymore.
„Ha! You fell for it!" Dan shouted „You know, Chris showed me around the Everfree Forest so we could collect some poison joke. No one can resist that stuff! Now you are muted and by the way completely without magical powers for the next few weeks! Checkmate!"
Trixie fell onto the ground and cried, while the crowd of ponies and humans cheered louder than ever before without listening to Dan's shouting: „SHUT UP! THIS ISN'T WORTH ANY APPLAUSE! SERIOUSLY, STOP CHEERING! I HATE THAT SOUND! COME ON!"
One week later, Dan's apartement was repaired, and he could sit on his couch watching TV once again. The only thing disturbing him was the crowd still cheering for him: „Great and powerful Dan! Great and powerful Dan! Great and powerful Dan!"
Dan opened the window and shouted down to the crowd: „SERIOUSLY, DON'T YOU PEOPLE HAVE JOBS?"
Thanks to Guest (XD) for this great idea!