DAN VS.

Dan was sitting on his couch, watching TV as usual, when someone knocked on his door.

Dan sighed: „Can't these ponies let me alone for ONE SINGLE DAY!?"

So he opened the door to see another pony standing there. She was a mint green unicorn whose hair had the same color with a white stripe in it. The unicorn was just standing there, looking at Dan in awe, almost hyperventilating.

„Are... are you okay?" Dan was wondering.

The unicorn responded: „Hu... hu... huuumaaan..." she shook her head „I mean: Hi, great and powerful Dan. I'm Lyra Heartstrings, and I am fascinated by humans, hehehehehe..." She giggled and blushed.

„Aaalriiight" Dan said „Aaand why exactly are you here?"

„Oh right, because I wanted to introduce myself to you, hu... I mean Dan!" Lyra answered „Did I mention my name is Lyra?"

„Yeah."

„Oh, right, I am a little nervous, hehe... Oh, I can also play the Lyre! It's my cutie mark! Do you wanna hear me play?"

„Uh..." Dan was about to decline, but Lyra was already holding her Lyre in her hoof and began to play it.

As she played, Dan saw an army of rats dancing out of a rat hole somewhere in his walls, dancing into Lyra's direction. Suddenly, Lyra's lyre fell out of her hooves onto the ground: „Oh, oopsie. I'll just get my lyre back from the ground..."

As she picked up her lyre again and then looked back up to Dan, she saw that the rats were attacking him!

„Oh no!" Lyra said shocked „Wait, I'll..." then she noticed that her lyre was broken and decided to just slowly leave the the house in fear, leaving Dan alone, who shouted:

„LYYYRAAA!"

DAN

VS.

Lyra

As the rats decided they had punished Dan for long enough and went back through the rat hole, Dan got his phone and called Chris, who answered: „Hi Dan. Pony Time again? Hihi..."

„Shut up!" Dan shouted „That stupid, lyre-playing, human-obsessed Lyra-unicorn called upon an army of rats to hurt me! I need information so I can plan my revenge!"

Chris responded: „Ignoring the fact that she would never hurt any of her precious humans on purpose, you pretty much just named everything we know about her."

„Wait, what? Really?"

„She's just a background pony. They usually have no real canon stories or even names. Most of the stuff about them is fan-based, so we can pretty much only assume certain things... And the fans don't have much more to say about her than that..."

„Fine" Dan said „I guess I'll have to make something out of that. Lyra just broke her lyre, so I guess the first thing we will do is to destroy all the lyres from all the shops in town which are selling lyres!"

„Don't you mean YOU?" Chris asked.

Dan responded: „Of course not! I need you to help me so we can destroy all these lyres faster! If I do it alone, Lyra might be fast enough to buy a new lyre from a store where I haven't been yet! You go for the Equestria side, I go for our side!"

„But..." Chris started as Dan hung up and Chris sighed.

---

2 hours later Lyra was walking around town: „I can't believe every single shop selling lyres got attacked by a lyre destroyer..."

Near her, in the bushes, Dan and Chris listened to her.

„Haha" Dan said triumphing „I broke her already!"

But then Lyra continued: „Well, good thing I was one of Candence's and Shining Armor's bridesmaides back then, so I had an open favor at Twilight and was able to ask her for a lyre from Canterlot..." She brought out her new lyre „It came pretty fast, and it's playing even better than my old one!"

„Oh, come on!" Dan whispered „Chris, why didn't you tell me she was a bridesmaid?"

„Because I forgot..." Chris answered „But the wedding had a changeling invasion, and Lyra, along with the other bridesmaids, got replaced easily..."

„So that is gonna be our next plan!" Dan said in excitement.

„But there are a few problems..." Chris reminded Dan „Don't you remember your fight with Princess Celestia? The changelings hate you now. Also, you are not their queen Chrysalis..."

„But we can change that..." Dan smiled happily.

---

1 hour later, Lyra was walking further through town, as she met Queen Chrysalis, who was actually just Dan in a Chrysalis costume.

„Do you remember me, unicorn?" Dan shouted „I am Queen Chrysalis, that gal with the changelings... and stuff... from the wedding, you know?"

Lyra cowered in fear: „Gasp! Oh no, don't get rid of me again!"

„Too bad!" Dan shouted „Changelings, attack!"

That moment a real army of changelings appeared and cornered Lyra, who suddenly realized: „Wait a minute... Didn't I learn anything from last time? And when I think about today, I even know how to get out of here!"

She started to play her lyre, and like earlier with the rats, the changelings got hypnotized by the music and danced after her.

„Into the next volcano with you guys..." Lyra said as she left to direct the changelings into the next volcano.

„Huh." Dan said „And there I thought changelings would be smarter than rats... You got another plan, Chris?"

Chris, appearing next to Dan, answered: „Well, we still have that human-thing we can work out..."

„Right!" Dan said „Let's try to hit her at that point!"

Suddenly Chris' phone rang. It was Elise. Chris answered the call: "Yes, honey? Okay... okay... yes... wait what? Oh. Can't you do that alone? I'm kinda busy rig... Okay! Stop shouting! I am on my way!" He hung up. "Sorry, Dan, but you have to do that one alone. Tell me how it was going, okay?"

And so Chris left Dan alone, who said: "Stupid Chris. Ah well, if you want something done, you have to do it yourself..."

---

When Lyra returned from her volcano adventure, she met Dan again!

„Oh, hi, great and powerful Dan! I think I should apologize for earlier. I didn't mean for that to happen..."

„STOP CALLING ME GREAT AND POWERFUL!" Dan shouted „IT'S JUST DAN! AND I HATE YOU! Oh, and by the way, it's not just me, pretty much every human hates you..."

„What?" Lyra took a few steps back „That... that can't be! It was my lifelong dream to meet humans and become friends with them! Humans hating me would destroy my whole life!"

„Well, bad for you." Dan said „Because it's still the truth. Have fun!" With these words Dan left her, having an evil smile on his face because he knew that his revenge was successful this time, and it really was!

Lyra's head sunk to the ground and she went to the next bench to sit there like a pony, not a human, and started to cry: „Why do humans hate me? My whole life is ruined! Now I will NEVER get hands!"

---

Later, in the evening, Dan was back home, had called Chris to tell him about the successful revenge and was now about to turn on his TV to watch Population Control Johnny, as suddenly someone knocked on his door.

Dan shouted: „Who is THAT now!?" and opened to see Lyra standing in front of him once again.

She said: „Hey, great and powerful Dan!"

„I won't get rid of that name for a while, will I?"

„Not really, and I realize that all you humans must hate me for a reason, so I decided to be nice to you and everything to try and become your friend! If I can make you, the hardest case, my friend, I can also make every other human my friend, and I will finally get hands! Probably..."

„OH, COME ON!" Dan shouted into the sky.

---

Thanks to deadghost316 for this great idea! :D

I thought 'Lyra... obsessed with humans... Dan is a human... AHA! Challenge accepted!' :P