Act Two

“WELCOME TO APERTURE SCIENCE LABORATORIES. WE HERE AT APERTURE SCIENCE BELIEVE IN A BETTER FUTURE, A FUTURE ACHIEVABLE THROUGH SCIENCE! BUT, TO ENSURE THAT OUR SCIENCE IS SOUND AND SECURE, WE ARE REQUIRED TO PERFORM TESTING. ALSO EVERY TIME YOU COMPLETE A TEST, I GET THE CLOSET THING TO AN ORGASM POSSIBLE. THANK YOU AND PLEASE PROCEED TO THE NEXT CHAMBER.”

Celestia sat up, feeling groggy. She had been laying on the ground, and was now, for some reason, wearing an orange jumpsuit. Her head felt odd, as though something were missing.

Reaching up, Celestia felt her fore head. It felt fine, smooth fur under her fingers. Wait, where was her horn? Celestia felt frantically, but could not find her horn. She knew it was detachable, though she wasn’t sure how or why, but she didn’t remember taking it off.

So, who had? The obvious answer was Nightmare-Moon. After Celestia’s escape, it would make sense that she wouldn’t take any chances this time. But the voice that had spoken earlier wasn’t Nightmare-Moon’s. Who was it?

Suddenly, the feminine voice spoke again. “I WOULD ADVISE YOU WAKE YOUR FRIEND AND PROCEED TO THE TEST CHAMBER, OR I MAY HAVE TO RESORT TO LESS APPEALING MEASURES.”

The voice sounded… unstable, but it did remind Celestia that Wolfsheim was there. He was not a far distance from her, laying passed out on the floor, still dressed in his suit and hat.

Celestia crawled to him and gently shook his shoulder. “Wolfsheim, wake up.”

Wolfsheim stirred. “Five more minutes…” he mumbled.

Celestia sighed and shook harder. “Wolfsheim, get up, now.” she hissed gently.

Wolfsheim stirred again and slowly opened his eyes. Upon seeing Celestia, his eyes widened slightly. Without moving, he asked. “Celestia… are we in a bed.”

“No.” Celestia answered, confused.

“Do we both still have our clothes on?”

“Yes.” Celestia said slowly. Why would he…? Oh. Oh!

Celestia backed up a bit as Wolfsheim staggered to his feet. He looked around, revealing that there were in a small, metal room. The room was bare save for three features: a solitary light bulb lit the room, a small speaker in the ceiling issued forth the mysterious speaker’s voice, a security camera sat a corner of the ceiling, and a pair of strange looking doors sat in one wall.

The speaker spoke once more. “OH GOOD, YOU’RE UP, NOW PROCEED TO THE NEXT CHAMBER FOR TESTING.” the voice paused. “NOW.”

Wolfsheim looked at the speaker in the ceiling with an odd look on his face. He then looked at Celestia and motioned for her to follow him. The two approached the doors, which slid open with a soft hiss when they got close.

Celestia marveled at the doors for a moment before jogging to catch up with Wolfsheim who hadn’t paused for a moment. They walked down a metal hallway for a short distance before entering into a massive room. The walls were very far apart and the ceiling was a good distance above them. The dominating feature of this room was a proportionally massive holoscreen that displayed a white metal thing with large sections black wires exposed. Several spheres were held inside the black wires and the thing’s ‘head’ was a rounded square with a single yellow eye looking out. Over all, hanging from the ceiling as it was, the mechanical creature looked like a being in a straightjacket hanging by their feet and contorted.

“HELLO AND WELCOME TO THE ENRICHMENT CENTER. TODAY WE WILL BE DOING TESTING WITH THE APATURE SCIENCE HANDHELD PORTAL DEVICE. OR ‘PORTAL GUN’AS WE HERE LIKE TO CALL IT.” the creature on the screen said in a mechanical and distinctly female voice.

“Glados.” Wolfsheim called up at the screen, “Let us go.”

“LET YOU GO?” Glados said, as if it was a strange request. “BUT WE HAVEN’T EVEN BEGUN TO TEST.”

“Glados, we don’t have time for this. We have to go now.”

“YOU CAN’T LEAVE, NOW, JUST PROCEED TO THE NEXT CHAMBER AND BEGIN THE TEST. NOW.”

Wolfsheim sighed. “She’s a tad crazy, our best bet would be to just go along with her testing until we have a window for escape.” he said to Celestia in a low voice.

“Is she dangerous?” Celestia asked.

Before Wolfsheim could answer, sparks suddenly appeared on the floor, electricity arcing across panels.

“MOVE ALONG.” Glados said insistently.

“Very dangerous.” Wolfsheim said as he began walking to the doors on the opposite side of the room. Celestia followed, not wanting to know what would happen if she did not.

*********

“AS A PRECAUTION, ALL MATERIALS NOT DIRECTLY RELATED TO THE TEST HAVE BEEN REMOVED AND TAKEN TO A SECURE LOCATION. TO COMPENSATE, YOU WILL BE PROVIDEDWITH CAKE.”

“Freaking psycho computer.”

“WHAT WAS THAT?”

“Nothing!”

******

“THIS TEST IS SIMPLE. ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS GET TO THE DOOR TO REMAIN OPEN…. THAT BIG RED BUTTON LOOKS IMPORTANT…. THAT BOX MIGHT BE HELPFUL…. LOOK, I CAN’T DO IT FOR YOU, IF I COULD IT WOULD DEFEAT THE PURPOSE OF THE TEST. NO PLEASE FINISH THE TEST, OR I WON’T BE SO PLEASANT. CONTINUE TESTING.”

********

“I AM REQUIRED TO INFORM YOU THAT THE WATER INSIDE THE ENRICHMENT CENTER SHOULD NOT BE CONSUMED UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, AS IT MAY CONTAIN A DEADLY NEUROTOXIN.ANYWAY, CONTINUE TESTING.”

*******

“I WOULD ADVISE AGAINST STANDING TOO CLOSE TO THE REMOTE MINIPULATORS, AS I - THEY - HAVE BEEN A TAD GRABBY LATELY. CONTINUE TESTING.”

*******

“I’D ADVISE YOU HURRY UP AND FINISH THIS TEST, OR I MAY HAVE TO FLOOD THE ENRICHMENT CENTER WITH A DEADLY NEUROTOXIN. CONTINUE TESTING.”

*******

“I WOULD LIKE TO INFORM YOU THAT ALL AUTOMATIC TURRETS IN THE ENRICHMENT CENTER HAVE RECENTLY HAD A PERSONALITY UPGRADE, AND SHOULD NO LONG BE TEMPERAMENTAL. UNLESS IT’S THAT TIME OF THE MONTH OF COURSE. CONTINUE TESTING.”

Wolfsheim bent down, using his knees to support him, breathing heavily. Celestia jogged up behind him, similarly panting.

“Oh, great. The turrets armed to the metaphorical teeth woke up on the wrong side of the bed.” Wolfsheim said, “Well that’s just fan-tucking-fastic.”

“Turrets?” Celestia asked, cradling the portal-gun. “What do you mean turrets?”

“They’re these little round things about yay high that shoot a crap ton of bullets at you.”

“Oh, that sounds bad.”

Wolfsheim nodded.

“NO LOITERING NOW, YOU’RE NEARING YOUR FIRST CAKE BREAK.”

“Oh screw off, Glados!”

The screen that displayed Glados suddenly flashed red. “WARMING UP THE NEUROTOXIN EMITTERS.”

“Wait!” Celestia shouted, then, quieter, “Wait.” she sidled over to the screen and said in a hushed voice. “Listen Glados, Wolfsheim here has been under a lot of stress lately, so how about you slow things down a bit? Take your time, let things build and then let them come to fruition. Wouldn’t that be nice too?”

“HMM…” Glados appeared to be thinking it over. “VERY WELL, YOU MAY TAKE YOUR TIME ON THE NEXT FEW TESTS. BUT DON’T TAKE TOO LONG. OKAY?”

“Alright, will do. Thank you Glados.”

Glados nodded. “IN THE MEANTIME I WILL ATTEND TO SOME OTHER THINGS. CONTINUE TESTING.”

The screen faded and Celestia walked back over to Wolfsheim. “I bought us some time.”

“That’s good. That means we’ll have plenty of time to…” Wolfsheim glanced at one of the cameras on the wall and made vague gestures with his hands.

Glados’ screen suddenly came to life. “I MUST ALSO TELL YOU THAT WE DO NOT ENCOURAGE USE OF THE HAND-HELD PORTAL DEVICE FOR SEXUAL ACTIVITIES OF ANY KIND.” she paused. “UNLESS YOU WANT ME TO WATCH…”

“Damnit Glados, I didn’t mean that!” Wolfsheim shouted.

“OH…” Glados sounded disappointed. “CONTINUE TESTING.” the screen went dark again.

Wolfsheim gave an exasperated sigh. “Sorry.”

“So, you don’t want to do naughty things with the portal-gun?” Celestia said.

“What?”

“Nothing.” the sun-goddess said quickly. What’s with me?

Wolfsheim sighed again and walked through the door to the next chamber, Celestia following. They entered another large room, with a large glass wall separating one-half of the room from the other. Behind the glass was a row of white ovals with little black tripods for legs. The ovals were bisected by a black line with a red circle just above center serving as an eye. The little turrets hummed quietly to themselves, occasionally making cute little noises. Truth be told, the turrets were quite adorable, downplaying their deadly capabilities.

Wolfsheim and Celestia looked around the room, trying to figure out what they were supposed to do. There was a door on the other side of the room, open and showing no signs of closing.

“The door isn’t the problem, the turrets are.” Wolfsheim said.

Celestia nodded. “Okay, so how do we get by them?”

Wolfsheim thought for a moment. “We have to either try and sneak around them or knock them over.”

“Just knocking them over works?”

Wolfsheim shrugged. “I don’t know why, only that it does.”

Celestia nodded and got closer to the glass. She looked closely, examining the space on the other side. The turrets were arranged in a double row, most of the first row pointed forward with the two at the end facing the wall. It was the same on the other side.

Celestia didn’t fancy just running at the turrets and knocking them over, as they could very well kill her before she even got close. If she shot a portal above them and one near her, she could drop things through the portal on top of the turrets.

Before Celestia could fire a single portal, Wolfsheim took a running leap and vaulted over the glass wall.

Celestia stared open-mouthed as he landed in the midst of the turrets and began knocking them left and right. The turrets let out little squeals as the fell, and then began firing in a blind panic for a second before shutting down.

“No hard feelings.” “Goodbye.” “See you later.” They said in their lovable little voices as they shut down. However, they still had shot out a score or more of rounds before that.

Many bullets impacted the walls or ceiling, but several hit the glass wall, not piercing, but crashing in and spider webbing the glass.

Wolfsheim had miraculously avoided being shot until one of the last turrets spun on a single leg before falling, several of its shots hitting Wolfsheim, his body jerking and then falling.

Celestia let out a distressed cry and ran around the glass wall, shooting portals underneath the few remaining turrets, sending them falling. She reached Wolfsheim’s side and knelt. She grabbed him and pulled him closer, fearing he was already dead.

But when she was face to face with Wolfsheim, he was wide-awake.

“You okay, Celestia?” he asked as if she was the one in trouble.

“Am I okay? What about you! You’ve been shot!”

Wolfsheim shrugged. “It’s fine. I have diplomatic immunity to bullets.”

Celestia stared. “Seriously?”

Wolfsheim shrugged again. “I don’t understand it, but I know it works here. But it doesn’t always work.”

Celestia laughed nervously and stood, helping Wolfsheim to his feet. “You nearly gave me a heart attack.”

“Nearly.” Wolfsheim smiled.

Celestia laughed again. They then turned and made their way to the next chamber.

******

“Okay, giant chasm and a door on the other side. Glados, I don’t get this test.” Wolfsheim looked to the large monitor.

“IT ISN’T A TEST, IT’S A PLACE WHERE YOU’LL BE SAFE UNTIL I HAVE MORE TESTS FOR YOU.”

“You ran out of tests?” Celestia asked, sounding surprised.

“IN THIS AREA, AT LEAST. I COULD MOVE YOU SOME PLACE ELSE BUT IT WOULD TAKE TIME AND YOU MIGHT TRY AND ESCAPE SO I’LL JUST BUILD MORE TESTS FROM THOSE AREAS TO HERE.”

“From there to here?” Wolfsheim asked. “How long will that take?

“SIX TO NINE MONTHS.”

“Sixty-nine months!”

“SIX TO NINE MONTHS.”

“Why so long?” Celestia asked.

“WELL, I COULD GO FASTER IF I STILL HAD THOSE ‘HENCHMEN’ NIGHTMARE-MOON SENT ME.”

“Wait, you’re working with Nightmare-Moon?”

“OF COURSE, SHE SAID SHE NEEDED SOMEONE WHO KNEW ABOUT ESCAPING FROM PLACES YOU COULDN’T ESCAPE FROM AND ASSISTANCE WITH GATHERING RESOURCES. I WAS HAPPY TO OBLIGE.”

“Not to get off topic, but what happened to the henchmen she sent you?” Wolfsheim asked.

“THEY WENT THROUGH TESTING. UNFORTUNATELY, THEY FAILED TO STAY ALIVE. NONE OF THEM MADE IT AS FAR AS YOU HAVE. OH, THAT REMINDS ME.” a slot in the wall underneath Glados’ screen pulled back and a robotic hand came out and placed a cake on the ground. “CONGERATIONS. YOU HAVE COMPLETED ALL APERTURE SCIENCE TESTS FOR TODAY; NOW PLEASE ENJOY YOUR CAKE. I WILL RETURN IN SIX TO NINE MONTHS WHEN THE NEW TEST CHAMBERS ARE COMPLETED.”

“Wait, you’re just going to leave us?”

“YES.”

“Alone?”

“UHUH.”

“For six to nine months.”

“SURE ARE.”

“But, what about food?” Celestia asked.

“CAKE WILL BE ADMINISTERED AT REGULAR INTERVALS.”

“But you can’t live on cake.”

“You can’t.”

“ENOUGH, I HAVE WORK TO DO, HAVE FUN.”

The screen cut out and Wolfsheim sighed. “Well, we’re alone.”

“Oh, Wolfsheim.” Celestia batted her eyelashes.

“Now’s the time to escape!” Wolfsheim brushed past her and stared over the chasm. Celestia huffed and walked over next to him.

“There! There’s a door on the other side. If we can get over there we can escape.”

“Over there? Not to be a killjoy Wolfsheim, but I don’t have wings and you can’t fly. We tested that eleven chambers ago. So how are we supposed to get over there?”

“With Science!” Wolfsheim exclaimed. He took the portal-gun from Celestia and shot a portal high on the wall above. Turning back to Celestia, he said, “Okay, it’s simple: I will jump off of this cliff, shoot another portal and go through it. My momentum will carry me out through that one and across the chasm. So in short: Wolfsheim go in, Wolfsheim go out, hard and fast.”

Wolfsheim stood there smiling for a moment then thought over what he had just said, “Oh, crap, sorry, sorry.” he said to Celestia. “I didn’t mean to say that, no sexy thing. Not that you aren’t sexy, not that I’m thinking, sexy, thoughts, about you.” he covered his face with a gloved hand. “I’m… I’m just going to be quiet now.”

Celestia giggled and said. “It’s alright.”

Wolfsheim sighed. “I’m just going to jump now. Wish me luck.”

“Are you sure-” Celestia began before Wolfsheim hopped off the edge of the cliff.

*****

Wolfsheim fell for a time. Then he fell some more. And then some more.

“Wow, this is deep. How far down does this go? Did Aperture just dig down, break into Hell and then decide to just build up? Did they close the hole or did they just leave it, sounds like Aperture. ‘Oh, we just broke into Hell, well let’s just build up and pretend this didn’t happen. What? Close the hole? Nonsense, it’s fine.’ Yeah, that’s definitely what happened. I wonder if there are any hot babes in Hell. I hope- oh, ground!”

Wolfsheim yelped and fired the portal-gun at the ground just before he hit. As expected, he flew through the portal and out the one on the wall far above. His momentum carried him forward at a high velocity, arcing him across the chasm.

Celestia watched him fly through the air, worry creasing her equine face. And then something suddenly occurred to her.

“Wolfsheim! How are you going to land!” she shouted.

“What?” came the reply before she heard a thud.

Wincing, Celestia called out, “Wolfsheim, are you okay?”

After a moment, a haggard voice answered. “Yes, my legs broke my fall.”

The sound of the portal-gun reached her ears and then Celestia saw a portal-ball streak toward her. A portal opened at her feet, Wolfsheim visible on the other side.

“Come on.” he said, beckoning.

Celestia hopped into the portal and was disoriented when she came out the other side. She somehow landed on her back and looked up to see the portal on the wall behind her.

“Very funny.” Celestia said the innocent looking Wolfsheim. “Now what?” she asked as he helped her to her feet.

“We go through that door and find a way out.”

“And if we can’t find a way?”

Wolfsheim shrugged. “Then we come back and hope Glados doesn’t notice we left.”

Celestia nodded and took the portal-gun from the offering Wolfsheim. They then both jogged through the door and through it.

(“Ow, ow. Should have opened it first.”)

*******

Glados was humming to herself some time later, observing as her many arms constructed test chambers. She was enjoying herself immensely; with both the construction and the afterglow of the tests her new test subjects had finished testing.

She liked the new test subjects. The one that resembled a horse was quite aesthetically pleasing and the one in the suit just seemed to excite her somehow. Perhaps that was something she should test. Test to see how and why he had such an effect on her. It wasn’t something any other test subject had stirred in her.

Yes, she would be examining this Wraith Writer closely.

Suddenly an alarm sounded.

“DAMN BIRDS.” Glados muttered to herself as she turned on a screen. What she saw was definitely not a bird.

“DAMN. AND I WAS BAKING A SPECIAL CAKE TOO.” Glados said in a disappointed tone as she began turning on counter measures to remove the two betrayers. When they disappeared in a large fireball she sighed and returned to her work. “GUESS I’LL JUST HAVE TO SEARCH THE INTERNET FOR TEST PORN UNTIL I CAN FIND NEW TEST SUBJECTS.” she said with some small of sadness.

And then doors exploded.

Wolfsheim leapt through the smoke in what Glados would have to admit was a rather spectacular fashion. He shouted, in a voice not dissimilar to those in old movie serials, “Sorry Glados, but your internet provider has blocked this site for the following reasons: explicit testing, sexiness, and falsehoods pertaining to delicious confectionaries. In short: No porns for you! Also, the cake is a lie… Bitch!”

Glados stared at the Wolfsheim for a minute and then said, “HOW THE HELL DID YOU SURVIVE?”

“You killed our decoys!” Wolfsheim shouted triumphantly.

“Those poor decoys.” Celestia said, walking through the smoke and waving her hand before her to dispel the smoke before her.

“Yes.” Wolfsheim removed his hat and looked sad.

There was a long silence, which Glados shattered with “I’M GOING TO KILL YOU BOTH SO MUCH.”

Turrets suddenly appeared, dropping from the ceiling. Wolfsheim began running as they hit the floor and opened up. Red targeting lasers powered up and aligned themselves with the running man. However, these turrets fired rockets rather than bullets and just happened to fire as Wolfsheim passed between them.

The rockets hit the turret opposite the one they were fired from, destroying them. The turrets repeated this, er, repeatedly, destroying each other. Glados’ eye glowed red and several turrets targeted Celestia.

The sun-goddess was prepared. She fired the portal-gun twice, once behind her and another facing the turrets. Rockets missed her as she dodged and the rockets went through the portal, flying back at and blowing up the turrets that fired them.

As the last turrets were reduced to blackened scrap, Wolfsheim reached a table with his cane and Celestia’s horn on it. He tossed white spiral to Celestia while he picked up his cane.

“Looks like it’s over for you.” Wolfsheim said to Glados.

“NOT TODAY, BITCH.” Glados said just before her body detached from its bracket and fell through a hole in the floor. After a moment, a platform with a figure raised up from the hole. The figure was lit from above, obscuring their features. And then the light shut off, revealing a humanoid creature that seemed to be made up of white metal placed strategically over pitch-black flesh, obviously female. (When we say female, that translates to buxom and leggy.)

The creature raised her head and looked directly at Wolfsheim. “My body is ready.” she said in a voice quite similar to Glados’, albeit smoother and, dare it be said, sexier.

“Glados?” Wolfsheim said hesitantly.

“That’s right.” Glados suddenly raised something in her hands and pointed it one handed at Celestia. It had a similar shape to a shotgun, but when she pulled the trigger a ball of blue and orange energy shot from the muzzle and hit Celestia squarely in the chest. Celestia was thrown as though hit with an air cannon, flying backwards and hitting the wall.

Glados then turned her weapon on Wolfsheim and he heard a distinct click of something being switched. The muzzle of the weapon belched fire and the dimension-hopping man was knocked on his back by the impact of the weapons new ammo.

Glados leapt through the air and landed in a crouched position over the fallen Wolfsheim. “When I’m finished, I’ll make you wish you could die.”

“Actually, I can die.” Wolfsheim said, seemingly nonchalant about being in such a compromising position.

“Oh… I’m still going to be studying you intensely.” Glados’ voice took on a more sensuous tone.

“Are you flirting with me?”

“Perhaps,” Glados almost purred. For whatever reason, this being was affecting her biological construct body even more than her other form. “Are you enjoying yourself?”

“You’re sitting on my chest.”

“The question stands.”

Wolfsheim sighed. “I apologize.”

“For what?” Glados asked before letting out a grunt as a beam of energy hit her from behind, sending her into the wall.

“That.”

Celestia, her horn was now attached to her head and faintly smoke, came charging up and all but yanked Wolfsheim from the ground and into a protective and slightly possessive hug, inadvertently crushing his head into her bust.

“As much as I can appreciate this, I can’t breathe.” Wolfsheim said to Celestia, waving his arms.

Celestia took her eyes off of the crumpled heap that was Glados to look back at Wolfsheim. “Hm? Oh!” She released him and he stumbled slightly, taking deep breaths of air. “Sorry!” Celestia said, blushing.

Wolfsheim wavered her off. “It’s fine, no harm done.”

Celestia nodded. What’s with me? She thought to herself, followed by, oh, to the Moon with it; I’m just going to fling myself in whatever direction I want. Woo!

A groan snapped Celestia out of her thoughts. Glados raised her head and glared at Celestia. “I hate you so much.”

Before Celestia could answer there was the sound if a pneumatic hiss as a pair of doors opened. In the doorway was the Governator, wearing his usual black leather/sunglasses combo.

“Oh good, impeccable timing.” Glados said. “Kill them.”

“Oh, would you look at the time.” Wolfsheim said before bolting for the door.

Celestia chuckled nervously and followed him.

Celestia hurriedly closed the door after her only to have the Governator literally punch through it. She sprinted down the hallway towards the open elevator at the end. Wolfsheim was there, appearing to be in a near panicked state as he waited for her.

As so as she cleared the threshold, Wolfsheim desperately mashed the ‘close doors’ button. The Governator smashed his way through the door and came at them at a run. He reached them just as the doors closed, managing to get a hand between the closing doors.

Metal groaned as the cyborg wrenched the doors open. He began to push his head in only to have it hit by the end of Wolfsheim’s cane. The Governator was thrown backwards by the discharge of energy and the doors closed.

The elevator started up and began to descend. As Celestia and Wolfsheim looked at one another with relief the elevator car was rocked as something landed on top of it.

A fist smashed through the top of the car and made a grab for them. Wolfsheim looked to his right and saw an emergency glass case. Breaking the glass, he extracted a lever-action shotgun from inside and pointed it upwards.

The Governator was hit by the blast in the chest and stumbled, pulling his arm out of the car. He was not deterred though and swiftly put his fist through the metal of the roof again. This time, the blast caught him in the head, nearly sending him off the car.

Celestia covered her ears as Wolfsheim fired the shotgun again, hopefully dislodging the cyborg. It was rendered a moot point as the elevator doors opened and the two hopped out.

They were now in what appeared to be a production line. Turrets were being assembled by large robotic arms that, thankfully, seemed to be automated.

Before either Celestia of Wolfsheim could comment on this development the roof of the elevator collapsed and the Governator landed inside the car. He immediately came forward before being stumbled by a blast from the shotgun.

“The conveyor belt, hurry!” Wolfsheim shouted at Celestia, who jumped on top of the moving belt.

Wolfsheim hurriedly shoved shells into the shotgun before delivering a well-aimed blast to the Governator’s head. This didn’t kill the machine, but it did disorient him long enough for Wolfsheim to follow Celestia.

Mechanical arms swung around and presses stamped down as turrets were assembled. Celestia weaved about them as fast as she could, running down the belt. A mistimed leap landed her on top of an arm instead of going over it. The arm swung Celestia up into the air as she lost hold of it.

As gravity took its course, Celestia closed her eyes, dreading seeing the thing that would impale her or the seemingly bottomless drop that awaited her.

But she soon found herself neither impaled nor still falling. Instead, she was brought to a quick halt as she landed on a walkway.

Opening her eyes, Celestia thanked whatever being controlled luck and got up. She then made her way down the walkway, hoping to find a control panel of some sort so as to help Wolfsheim.

Wolfsheim meanwhile was too weaving about the belt, dodging anything that might impede his progress. The Governator on the other hand was simply walking forward, stopping anything that came at him with a block of his arms. Wolfsheim still occasionally fired the shotgun, usually over his shoulder, in an attempt to slow and maybe stop the killer robot.

An unexpected mechanical arm knocked the Governator off his feet, but he managed to grab Wolfsheim leg as he fell, causing he suited man to also fall.

Wolfsheim kicked desperately, trying to free his leg from the cyborg’s iron grip, but to no avail. Wolfsheim then flipped on his back and tried to fire the shotgun, only to find it was empty. Before he could even try to reload, a mechanical arm knocked the weapon from Wolfsheim’s grip, sending it flying.

Wolfsheim then heard the sound of a press coming down far closer than he would have liked. Tilting his head up, he saw the large hydraulic press come down again and began flailing like a madman, trying to slip his leg from the Governator’s death grip.

Wolfsheim saw the press above him and closed his eyes, not wanting to see what came next. But to his surprise, the press did not descend on him.

Opening his eyes, Wolfsheim saw something out of the corner of his eye. Turning his head, he saw Celestia standing at a control panel. She waved and then turned her gaze on the Governator.

As he moved beneath the press and evil grin formed on her lips. As soon as Wolfsheim was clear, Celestia pulled a lever and the press descended swiftly. It came down with the sound of metal grinding against one another.

The hand on Wolfsheim’s leg released and he scooted backwards. Getting up, he turned to Celestia. “Thanks for not letting a large hydraulic press crush me.”

“Any time.” Celestia answered, smiling.

There was suddenly the groan of metal and the press was torn as a large figure emerged from beneath it. And there was the Governator, his clothes were torn in several places and his biological covering had taken some damage, but he was still alive.

“Wait,” said Wolfsheim, a skeptical look on his face, “Maybe he’s disabled.”

The Governator took of his broken sunglasses and tossed them aside. He then pulled another pair from his a pocket and put them on.

“Nope, my mistake, he’s alright. Continue running.” Wolfsheim said before booking it down the now disabled belt.

Celestia followed his example and ran down the catwalk, looking for something else to use against the cyborg.

Wolfsheim soon found himself in a new section of the turret factory, because this place could be little else. It seemed to be the munitions storage. Perhaps there was something that could be used against the Governator.

What had happened to Celestia anyway? Wolfsheim hoped she was all right. Although, he really should be more concerned for himself. Damn sense of morality.

Wolfsheim heard the telltale sound of boots on ground and swiftly made to hide. He ducked behind a rack of rockets and crouched low, daring only to peek between stacked rockets.

Looking around nervously as the Governator came into view, Wolfsheim spotted a hand-held launcher for the rockets. Moving as quietly and quickly as he could, Wolfsheim picked up the launcher and loaded a rocket.

He tried to breathe quietly as the Governator searched the room, somehow knowing he was here.

The Governator allowed himself a small smile; perhaps he had been working for that nut upstairs for too long. He rounded a corner, sure that his quarry was sitting crouched.

However, there was no one there.

A whistle got his attention and he turned to see the suited man holding a rocket launcher.

“Survive this.” Wolfsheim said as he fired the weapon.

The rocket streaked forward and hit the Governator squarely in the gut. But instead of detonating, the projectile simply stuck in the cyborg’s stomach.

There was a brief moment as both stared at the rocket, and then the Governator smiled.

“Performance issues,” Wolfsheim said, chuckling nervously as the killer contraption approached. “One in five.” he said before hitting the Governator in the head with the launcher.

He the bolted as the cyborg took the launcher and loaded another rocket. As he aimed, he heard another whistle. Looking up he saw the white, horse-like female staring down at him with a smile on her face.

“Boom, bitch.” she said before a beam of light lanced downward from her horn. It hit the rocket lodged in the Governator, which detonated, along with a number of the other explosives in the area.

Wolfsheim stumbled as the shockwave hit him, but managed to regain his footing and keep running. Turning, he saw the fireball rising from where the Governator was not too long ago.

Wolfsheim stopped and leaned against a wall, happy that he was finally rid of the killer robot. And then he saw the Governator emerge from the flaming wreckage, his clothes were shredded and burnt and large sections of his metal chassis were exposed. He was dragging one leg, but he was still coming.

“Okay, that’s it. This is bullshit. What, were you made in Japan?” Wolfsheim said, breathing heavily.

But he pushed himself up and kept going, following the path as the air around him became hotter. Wolfsheim soon saw the air shimmer and could see an orange glow ahead.

Climbing some stairs, Wolfsheim saw a large vat of molten steel not far ahead. He made his way there, panting from the exertion and as the adrenalin wore off.

The Governator was not far behind and was moving far faster than one would expect. As Wolfsheim reached a metal platform just above the vat of molten steel, the Governator grabbed him and tossed his aside.

Wolfsheim landed heavily, and turned to see the psycho robot standing above him.

“It’s over, and you won’t be back.” the machine said.

“Is that really the only way we could fit your catch phrase in?” Wolfsheim asked.

The Governator shrugged, but before he could do much else, the roar of a shotgun got their attention as the mechanical assassin was stumbled. Celestia suddenly appeared, the lever-action shotgun in her hands. She worked the weapon’s action and fired again, knocking the Governator back again. She continued to fire, working her way through the magazine until the Governator was right up against the edge of the platform.

Celestia quickly was right in front of him. “You’re terminated, bitch.” she said before kicking him off the platform and into the molten metal below.

He landed feet first and began flailing as he tried vainly to escape his fate. He soon gave up and simply stood staring up at the two. An arm rose up as he sank to his shoulders. His head soon disappeared beneath the molten surface, only the extended arm remaining. Just before it too sank, the fingers clenched, save for the middle one.

“Did he just flip us off? He did!” Wolfsheim said, sitting up.

“Let’s get out of here.” Celestia said, helping him to his feet.

The two searched for a short while before finding an avenue of escape, racing down hallways and upstairs until they made it to a place where Wolfsheim’s cane would work. A stamp on the ground later and they were away.

******

“You did what?!” Nightmare-Moon roared.

“I kept them for testing.” Glados answered calmly.

“And when were you going to inform us when?”

“When I decided it was necessary.”

Nightmare-Moon clenched her hands in frustration. “Do you have any idea what you’ve done?”

“I have done what I was designed to do. Which is oversee testing.”

Nightmare-Moon growled. “You deliberately denied us what we seek. But what baffles us the most is the fact you put the people we sent you though your damned death course!”

Glados shrugged. “You said I was to use them as I saw fit.”

Nightmare-Moon was silent for a while, looking away from Glados. She then suddenly spoke. “Don’t think that we do not appreciate the help you have given us,” Nightmare-Moon suddenly spun and stabbed a knife into Glados’ body.  “But we believe our partnership is at an end.”

The AI’s biological construct body stumbled as she looked at the knife with confusion. She stumbled back a step before Nightmare-Moon, with an irritated grunt, kicked her backwards.

Glados backpedaled as she tried to keep her balance, only to find air beneath her feet. As she fell, Glados felt heat and saw fire. All she could think was: Fuck, not again.

Nightmare-Moon didn’t bother watching the psychotic screwball crash and burn, preferring to begin leaving the forsaken facility as soon as possible. She had work to do.

If she couldn’t find her sister, she would let her sister find her.

End of Act Two Next Chapter: Act Three Estimated time remaining: 32 Minutes