Act I Scene VIII

(The entire cast is in the castle's banquet hall for the ball. Applejack runs in.)

Applejack: You better not let the queen catch you walking!

(The music starts and the whole cast dances the Spanish Panic. In the middle, part of the Cha-Cha Slide plays and the music goes back to the Spanish Panic. When the song ends, everyone except for Pinkie Pie is passed out on the floor. Everyone gets up and exits except for Pinkie Pie and Spike.)

Pinkie Pie: Do you think you could give me a clue?

Spike: A clue?

Pinkie Pie: I know that the test is highly secret and all, but what kind of tests does your mother usually give?

Spike: Well… it's always highly secret; sometimes it's English, or Math, or Spelling, but sometimes, she gives tests of strength and endurance.

Pinkie Pie: Wow, that's right up my alley!

Spike: Like this one time, one of the princesses had to lift this huge weight! (He tries to lift it, but he fails) I can't even lift it, but I'm sure you could.

(Pinkie Pie tries to lift the weight and succeeds.)

Spike: Wow; that's amazing.

Pinkie Pie: By the way, Dauntless, I don't think I ever told you this, but my full name is Winifred the Woebegone. But, Winifred sounds a little too formal for me. You can call me by my nickname.

Spike: Winnie?

Pinkie Pie: No, Fred.

Spike: Fred… what a beautiful name! So straight, so strong… so you.

I like you, Fred, I like you

Pinkie Pie: You're just saying those words to be kind

Spike: No, I mean it

I like, I mean I love you, Fred

Pinkie Pie: He is out of his medieval mind

Spike: I'm perfectly sane and sound

I never felt better in my life

Everypony! Everypony! Everypony come!

And meet my incipient wife!

(The ensemble enters)

I'm in love with a girl named Fred

My reasons must be clear

When she shows you all how strong she is

You'll stand right up and cheer!

(Pinkie Pie lifts the weight again)

Ensemble: With an F! And an R! And an E! And a D!

And a Fred! Yeah!

Spike: I'm in love with a girl named Fred

She drinks just like a lord

So come sing a merry drinking song

And let the wine be poured!

(Pinkie Pie drinks a huge goblet of wine)

Ensemble: Fill the bowl 'til overflowing!

Raise the goblet high!

With an F! And an R! And an E! And a D!

And a Fred! Yeah!

Spike: I'm in love with a girl named Fred

She sings just like a bird

You'll be left completely speechless

When her gentle voice is heard

Pinkie Pie: Ah-ah-ah ah ah

Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah!

Ensemble: Fill the bowl 'til overflowing!

Raise the goblet high!

With an F! And an R! And an E! And a D!

And a Fred! Yeah!

Spike: I'm in love with a girl named Fred

She wrestles like a Greek

You will clap your hands and wonder

At her fabulous technique

(The ensemble claps their hooves to a beat as Pinkie Pie throws Spike)

Pinkie Pie: Ah-ah-ah ah ah

Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah!

Ensemble: Fill the bowl 'til overflowing!

Raise the goblet high!

With an F! And an R! And an E! And a D!

And a Fred! Yeah!

Spike: I'm in love with a girl named Fred

She dances with such grace

You are bound to sing her praises

'Til you're purple in the face

Ensemble: Bravo! Bravo! Bravissimo!

Bravo! Bravissimo!

(The ensemble claps their hooves to a beat as Pinkie Pie throws Spike again)

Pinkie Pie: Ah-ah-ah ah ah

Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah!

Ensemble: Fill the bowl 'til overflowing!

Raise the goblet high!

With an F! And an R! And an E! And a D!

And a Fred! Yeah!

Spike: I'm in love with a girl named Fred

She's musical to boot

She will set your feet a tapping

When she plays upon her lute

(Pinkie Pie plays a few bars on Twilight Sparkle's lute)

Ensemble: Bravo! Bravo! Bravissimo!

Bravo! Bravissimo!

(The ensemble claps their hooves to a beat as Pinkie Pie throws Spike again)

Pinkie Pie: Ah-ah-ah ah ah

Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah!

Ensemble: Fill the bowl 'til overflowing!

Raise the goblet high!

With an F! And an R! And an E! And a D!

And a Fred! Yeah!

Spike: I'm in love with a girl named Fred

A clever, clownish wit

When she does her funny pantomimes

Your sides are sure to split

(Pinkie Pie does a pantomime)

Ensemble: Ha ha ha ha!

Ho ho ho ho!

Ha ha ha ha ho!

(Pinkie Pie plays a few bars on Twilight Sparkle's lute again)

Ensemble: Bravo! Bravo! Bravissimo!

Bravo! Bravissimo!

(The ensemble claps their hooves to a beat as Pinkie Pie throws Spike again)

Pinkie Pie: Ah-ah-ah ah ah

Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah!

(Her singing turns into a fit of uncontrollable laughter that lasts throughout the rest of the verse)

Ensemble: Fill the bowl 'til overflowing!

Raise the goblet high!

With an F! And an R! And an E! And a D!

And a Fred! Yeah!

Spike: I'm in love with a girl

Ensemble: He's in love with a girl named

Pipsqueak: F!

Twist: R!

Silver Spoon: E!

Diamond Tiara: D!

(Pinkie Pie slides across the stage)

Pinkie Pie: YIPEE!

All: FRED!