Act I Scene VII

(Celestia and Luna enter)

Celestia: …after all, YOU'RE a wizard. You should be able to think of something that will put princess… what's-her-name to sleep. Don't forget to whip up some of that sleeping potion. But the most important thing is that she's tired out first. (She thinks for a brief moment, and gasps) We'll have an official ball tonight! We'll make what's-her-name dance until she drops. Now, what can we do? Do you know any dances?

(Luna thinks for a brief moment)

Luna: …no

Celestia: (Gasps) I got it! We'll do that new dance; the Spanish Panic! Do you know it? (Luna dances awkwardly) Well it's absolutely exhausting! (She claps three times and the ensemble enters) Attention, everypony! We are going to have an official ball tonight; and everyone is to attend! We'll be doing that new dance; the Spanish Panic. So you might as well learn it right now. So the basic step is right foot, left foot, back step. Now let's all try it! (The ensemble grabs partners and faces each other.) Ready, everypony? Right foot, left foot… (The ensemble struggles with the dance.) Oh my. Okay, stop! Doesn't anyone here know the Spanish Panic? (Awkward silence) Again, doesn't anyone here know the Spanish Panic!?

(Lyra approaches Celestia)

Lyra: Yes, your majesty! I do!

(Bon Bon pushes Lyra to the ground)

Bon Bon: You mean WE do.

Celestia: Thank heavens somepony's up to date around here. Now everyone watch while our dancers, Lady Lyra and Lady Bon Bon demonstrate. (One verse of the music starts and Lyra and Bon Bon dance to the music. The rest of the ensemble applauds) Well, thank you, Lady Lyra and Lady Bon Bon. (To the rest of the ensemble) Now, was that hard?

Ensemble: No, of course not, etc.

Celestia: Suppose we all try it now. Take partners! Music! (The music starts as the rest of the ensemble dances atrociously.) Don't you just love it? Doesn't it make you want to fly?

(The ensemble exits, but Cherilee is the only one left on scene. While the music still plays, she dances awkwardly until the music stops. Big Mac comes in and chases her offstage. Rarity runs across the stage screaming, and Fluttershy runs across the stage with packed suitcases crying. Applejack and Big Mac enter.)

Applejack: What's wrong? (Big Mac points to the right of the stage.) You lost her? (Big Mac shakes her) Alright! I'll help! (They both look all over the stage until they go offstage. Cherilee and Rarity come back onstage. Applejack notices them.) I found them! I found them! (Cherilee and Rarity run offstage. Twilight Sparkle enters. Applejack stops Big Mac from running) I'll tell you what! We'll set a trap!

(Big Mac pantomimes "slipping on a banana peel")

Twilight Sparkle: You're exaggerating!

Applejack: Not a bit! Someone's coming!

(Big Mac hides under Applejack and lifts her up on his shoulders.)

Twilight Sparkle: Who?

(Derpy runs in flailing her arms)

Derpy: HURRY! THE QUEEN IS COMING! THE QUEEN IS COMING! HURRY!

Twilight Sparkle: The Queen!

(She and Big Mac, still with Applejack on his shoulders, run off stage. Big Mac makes Applejack run into the doorway and she falls off him. Big Mac helps her up and she exits, but Big Mac stays. Celestia and Luna enter)

Celestia: Now, this has to be the biggest, loudest ball we've ever had. And make sure to hire extra musicians for tonight's performance. Oh, and tell the jester I want him to dance tonight. Not that I'll be able to enjoy any of it, but my back and this nasty pain in my jaw and… oh god! Nopony will EVER know what I suffer!

(Celestia and Luna exit. Twilight Sparkle and Applejack re-enter.)

Twilight Sparkle: What was she blabbing about?

Applejack: She's gonna make us do something, isn't she. (Big Mac dances) Exercise! (Big Mac face-hoof's and falls to the floor) Someone else is coming!

(She and Twilight Sparkle exit and Fluttershy re-enters with the same suitcases crying again. Twilight Sparkle and Applejack re-enter.)

Twilight Sparkle: My lady! Is there something wrong?

Fluttershy: No

Applejack: Well we're glad you're okay, sugar-cube.

Fluttershy: (still crying) Well I was just sitting in my room sewing and I decided to come out here to get some air.

Applejack: Well it looks like you're planning to camp out for a while.

(Fluttershy cries some more)

Fluttershy: Your majesty! Your majesty! Do you have any idea what would happen with a relationship with a man and a woman? I'm glad it turned out this way! I'm leaving!

Twilight Sparkle: You're leaving?

Fluttershy: Yes! I'm leaving the service for the queen forever!

Applejack: That's a pretty big step to take all alone.

Fluttershy: I have no choice!

Twilight Sparkle: You're leaving forever!

Applejack: You need help!

Fluttershy: Who would help me?

Twilight Sparkle: Well, don't look at me!

(Big Mac pantomimes "riding a horse")

Applejack: (Laughs) what did you say? (Big Mac pantomimes "riding a horse" again) You want to help the lady Larken! (Big Mac nods) Who's gonna help you? (Big Mac points to her)

Twilight Sparkle: Well she would re-demand that you'd protect a damsel in distress.

Applejack: You say something, your majesty?

Twilight Sparkle: But she will have to travel light; the way a man does.

Applejack: Yes! We can steal one of Prince Dauntless's suits! You wait in the room while we get this stuff out of your sight!

Fluttershy: No, no, no! I don't need help from anypony! I can go alone!

Applejack: Over the walls?

Fluttershy: Yes! I don't need help from anypony!

Twilight Sparkle: Well, you'll be okay, once you get past the water rats.

Fluttershy: Rats?

Applejack: Oh yes; they live along the edges of the quicksand.

Fluttershy: Quicksand?

Twilight Sparkle: Beyond the wall which you must climb

Fluttershy: Climb?

Twilight Sparkle: It's twenty-two feet and covered in slime

Fluttershy: Slime?

Twilight Sparkle: Infested with spiders

Fluttershy: Spiders?

Twilight Sparkle: Oh, the spiders are sweet compared to the snakes

Fluttershy: Snakes?

Twilight Sparkle: On the other side

Applejack: Well, they won't hurt you unless, of course, if you insist on leaving alone and now

Fluttershy: Well, I did but if I'd known it was so terrible out there

Twilight Sparkle: Then you'd think a second thought and come with me

I know all the secret ways to set you free

Over the hills and to the open sea

Fluttershy: Then where?

Twilight Sparkle: Well, it's April, isn't it?

Fluttershy: April?

Twilight Sparkle, Applejack: Normandy is fine and fair

So Normandy is where we'll go

Twilight Sparkle: I can show you a beach where the peach blossom blows

Applejack: And I know how to reach a man who knows

Both: A man who knows a cozy in

Twilight Sparkle: A friendly place

Twilight Sparkle, Applejack: With rows of windows facing the sea

This time of year, the air I hear is rare and clear

And warm in Normandy

Twilight Sparkle: I know a meadow covered with mustard flowers

Golden as the sun

Applejack: Where a wondrous thing can happen

When an April day is done

Twilight Sparkle: There's a moment after the sunset

Twilight Sparkle, Applejack: Where the sky goes suddenly green

And the world stands hushed and waiting for the first white stars to convene

Twilight Sparkle (Applejack): When you see that em'rald sky (When you see that em'rald sky)

You'll know the reason why (You'll know the reason why)

There's not another place I'd rather be

Both: Keep your El Dorado

And to hell with Burgundy!

Come fly with me! Come try those wings!

Come swift 'cos we have things to do

Fluttershy: Is there truly a beach where the peach blossom blows

Are you sure you can reach that man who knows, that man who knows

That cozy inn, that friendly place

All three: With rows of windows facing the sea

This time of year, the air I hear is rare and clear

Fluttershy: And warm

Twilight Sparkle, Applejack: Don't be afraid

Fluttershy: It's warm

Twilight Sparkle, Applejack: Heaven was made

All three: In Normandy!