Rainbow Dash's E-Mails: long pants

"And if I e-mail you! Colt, stallion," Rainbow exclaims, holding up pieces of paper that said the mentioned words. The mare is once again on her computer, typing up. "Well, would you e-mail me; Colt, stallion!"

Rainbow held up the papers, smiling eagerly. Time to get this e-mails how on a roll!

mess up the link Rainbow Dash here it is (insert link)

hope you get my mail

p.s i not sending email for some time till i think of one so good luck.

your friend Greenrob. (Smiley face)

"So you messed up a link, eh? That explains a lot." Rainbow remarks with a shrug while typing. "I hope for Celestia's sake that this one doesn't get messed up; next e-mail!"

Subject: ponies' pants
Dear Rainbowdash,
How come you and the other ponies, like pinkie pie, rarely wear pants? It's kinda creepy as to how you trot around with no clothes on, let alone pants. Anyway, I think you or Pinkie Pie should get some pants, maybe some parachute kind...yeah, that could work. Or maybe some clown pants. Who cares? Just get some pants!
Tootles

Cranky

Rainbow skips all after 'anyway' and before 'who cares', saying 'blah, blah, blabby, bloo'. She said 'Tootles' as 'Tootless' and 'Cranky' as 'Clanky'.

"Ugh!" Rainbow groans at how long the e-mail is. She begins to type. "Cranky, too long, very; Thank goodness you didn't indent or this e-mail wouldn't make it past my 2nd paragraph filter: Eggie the 2nd."

Rainbow types in 'run 'Eggie Jr.'. We see a splash screen for 'Eggie Jr.: The Long Email Killer Filta' on screen that is similar to the Virus Hunter...of course, this time it shows a pimply red-mane colt that said 'Indent and Die!'

Eggie Jr.
The Long Email
Killer Filta
'Indent and Die!'
Programmed right in Mother's sewing c1989

"Well, look at the little colt...he is one of those red-mane rapscalli...wags." Rainbow said with a light chuckle. "Okay, then, maybe I could save this one with some editing; Time for this pony to call forth the services of my trusty, somewhat dust, electronic light-pen input high-tech rich device...now in HD!"

Rainbow takes out a correction pens with the words 'RICH WHITE', shaking it before saying, "Now then, let's shake up the expensive electric device here...okay, all ready! Let's see..." The mare mumbles a bit. "Expensive high-tech device..."

Rainbow works on whiting out the words in e-mail until it's editing. The mare exclaims, "All right, there! Let's see what we go! 'Dear Rainbowdash. How come wear pants? Creepy clothes on, get some. Maybe parachute, maybe clown care. Some ants toots; Clanky," The mare grins as she types once more. "Oh yeah, that's an e-mail that I should answer. Some ants toots, priceless!"

We see some fortune cookies that have the sentences of the 'improved' e-mail. The top left one said 'Creepy clothes on, get some', the top right cookie said 'How come wear pants?', the one on the bottom right reads 'Maybe parachute, maybe clown care' and the cookie on the bottom left reads 'Some ants toots!'.

Rainbow clears the screen though the correction fluid is still remaining. The mare pretends not to notice as she types in, saying, "So how come we wear pants, eh? That's an age old question? Why, didn't Adam Pest once said, 'E..."

But then Rainbow is interrupted as a familiar pink pony in very short purple pants appears, exclaiming happily, "Hey Dashie! Wanna check out my creepy pants?" The Pegasus pony yelps and looks away.

"Ugh, Pinkie Pie; Why are you wearing those Daisy Duke thingies for?!"

The pants shine as Rainbow does a triple take. Pinkie smiles while explaining, "Come on, you silly filly! You said 'Creepy clothes on, get some'!"

"Get some what?" Rainbow asks Pinkie a bit dumbstruck.

"Not sure. Light globes, I guess."

"Light globes, really?"

"Yep, as in like a lamp!" Pinkie exclaims happily as her pants shine once more.

Rainbow blinks blankly as she said, "So in other words, you put some hot pants on to get some light bulbs."

"Yep! Globes," Pinkie answered as her pants shine again briefly upon seeing it.

"You are so random. Anyway, since you're here, let's talk about your pants...or what you don't wear...besides those Daisy Dukes."

"Err, what do you mean, Dashie? I wear long pants."

"Well, no...from what AJ mentioned before the Gala, we don't normally wear clothes. And from I can tell, you don't normally wear pants, only party stuff." Rainbow points out to Pinkie. Needless to say, what she's saying is freaking the pink pony out big time.

"Well, that's not true, Dashie! I got long pants, I wear them! I am one long pants mare, long pants; long pants!" Pinkie exclaims in shock as she dances around. What her friend is saying is freaking her out.

"Pinkie Pie, calm down, I didn't mean to..." Rainbow was cut off as Pinkie jumps into the air, convulsing onto the desk of her good friend.

"Long pants, Dashie! The longest pants! Everypony everypony, longest pants!"

Now Pinkie is really losing it. She is appearing around the room to a different place after she speaks each word. The mare appears in front of Rainbow then leans in behind her then Pinkie hangs upside down from the ceiling. Now she pixilated on the computer screen as an 8-bit version, then blurred into the scene's foreground.

Now Pinkie is upside down under the desk and goes back to where she was at first, the pony is tired and out of breath while saying, "Long long long long long long pants!"

"Ugh! Honestly, Pinkie Pie, that's it! We definitely got to get you in some serious clown care!" Rainbow exclaims seriously to Pinkie. We see a a business that reads...

Kertified
Pony Klown Kare

-Pie Injuries
-Giant Hoof Problems
-Wacky Parasprites
-Grease Paint Poisoning

"Rodeo and Tragic Clown Ponies are NOT ACCEPTED"

"But honestly, I was told long pants, long pants! They said long pants, always long pants!" The frantic Pinkie exclaims as she leans towards Rainbow, "Long...my pants! Gleaming pants! Glorious pants!"

Pinkie finally lost it, she screams and rush off, leaving the Daisy Dukes behind, falling and hooking around Rainbow's right lower foreleg. This causes her to scream in horror and disgust and shake her hoof in a panic until the pants fly off and landing onto the floor some distance away.

Scootaloo quickly appears and burn the Daisy Dukes with the lighter, causing them to combust into flames. The filly exclaims, "Problem taken care of, Rainbow Dash!"

Scootaloo leaves, the upset Rainbow goes back to the computer as she types in, saying, "Oh, good work, Clanky! You caused Pinkie Pie to lose her cool and you have seriously creeps me out! And how the hay am I supposed to get this horsecrap off of here?" The mare groans as she grabs a cloth and tries to clean the correction fluid off of her computer that is obscuring the words but no success. "Ugh, stupid made up technology, which I made up...paint pen..."

Rainbow mumbles a bit then yelling, "Scoots! Get tech support and tell those bums that you broke the AwesomeX...again!"

The paper comes down, bringing the chapter/e-mail to an end.

---

We see Pinkie on Rarity's Carousel Baroque, the white unicorn is comforting the upset pink pony who cries with light bulbs besides and on the floor beneath her, "Loooonnng paaaannnts!"

"Now, now, darling, it's okay! It isn't so bad." Rarity said, patting Pinkie in comfort. "Some ponies think I'm a marshmallow."

Pinkie stood up, looking surprised and upset as she asks, "Wait, you're not a marshmallow?!"

The End

Author's note
Man, Rainbow is creep out and poor Pinkie. In the next chapter/e-mail, the Pegasus pony explains the rampages she's been on. Read, review and suggest.

Again, a certain website wouldn't allow links so I can't put it in, Greenrob.

Don't ask me where the Rarity marshmallow joke came from. I got no idea how it got started in the first place.