Author's note
To Ducks-Go-Aflack, I can't come up with my own e-mails because this website doesn't allow one of those forums things for fan-fictions. This is a fanmake (so to speak) of the Strong Bad stuff.

Rainbow Dash's E-Mails: best thing

"Got to e-mail just to stay alive!" Rainbow exclaims while typing 'rainbowdash_email dot exe' to bring up the first e-mail.

Rainbow

Of course i Missed you greatly so did you check out turnabout storm on youtube its quite intersesting though anyway . What do you think of Phoenix Wright Ace Attorney ? i think the guy is a great defense attorney anyway in the series your accused of a crime you didn't commit and its up to Phoenix to clear your name and right now its Wright against Trixie first trial he couldn't hold a match stick against her and now its all down to the final couple of trials so check it out on YouTube sometime you won't be dissappointed though . and Twilight is Phoenix's Co counsoul . So What Kind of You like to do when your not answering Emails or saving Equestria several times over?

Adam

Rainbow responds, "Hey, Adam! Glad to see you made it home. To answer your questions, I did saw them at some point. As far as Phoenix Wright Axe goes, we got some lawyers like him in Equestria. And to answer your question, I got activities like answering the weather, participating in the competition; you know the usual; Next e-mail!"

Subject: what's the best...
Dear Rainbow Dash,
How are you doing, f illy? I got three quick questions to ask of you...
1. What's the best thng you've ever seen?
2. What's the best thing you've ever done?
3. What's the best thing you've ever eaten?

Later on,
Alan P. (from Mareland)

Rainbow didn't bother reading the numbers. After saying 'seen', she follows it up with 'done' and eaten'; The pony also whispers 'from, from Mareland'; Pretty impressive.

Rainbow clears the screen while typing, saying, "Well, I'm doing all so well, Alan. Believe it or not, I have gotten one answer for all of those questions, and that is..."

We now see a video tape that is labeled 'Knightshade cartoon' with the words 'come on, don't record for Celestia's sake!' Background singers are heard.

"The only known copy of the failed pilot episode of the Saturday morning cartoon shooooooooww of Knightshade!" Rainbow exclaims excitedly, cheering for her fave number one band.

Back onto the computer, Rainbow types in while explain, "That show was shown only once at 4 a.m. on some forgotten day, my friends and I were having a sleepover over at Twilight's place. And guess who was already up, eating brown sugar from the box? You betcha...it was Spike." We see a box of 'Dragon Brown' brown sugar with the tagline 'Don't borrow from the ponies' and a weight of '1 whole pound'. "And do you want to know who is up playing 20 Questions? That's right, the egghead, AJ and Rariy. Then yours truly got up and begin watching TV. If it weren't my fast reflexes and my quick determination to go home and back for a video tape, the episode would've been lost like a four armed bear."

Rainbow clears the screen as she continues, "Folks, I will you all see it, but please no flash photos or videotaping. The whole thing could end up damaging the precious oils and...heavy metals of this priceless piece of TV history."

---

We see the cartoon as the theme song begins. The logos 'Metal Ponymatio' appears in large block letters against a grey background, followed by 'presents' in cursive'. In a different grey background, we see cartoon versions of Knightshade dropping in.

Singer: Remember those colts from that band Knightshade?

The logo for the band appears then we see the tour bus for Knightshade.

Well, they turned their tour bus into a space machine, hey!

The tour bus turns into a spaceship as the background changes into a starry background. The vehicle speeds off to the left. We now see Knightshade performing in spacesuits.

But they're still Knightshade!

Lefty: We're still Knightshade!

We see the band in front of the same grey background in the usual outfits. One of by one, the stallions gets a spacesuit (with Merry having a potbelly and a red mane).

Singer: But they're in space!

We now see a starry background with the Knightshade logo. As the band is in the background, Lefty looks confused.

Lefty: But we're in space?!

Lefty goes to the rest of the band as the words 'but they're in space!' is shown. The stallions' manager, Mitt Obamney, came in from the right. The theme song stops as he spoke, "Boys, I got some bad news. You're in space!"

The final chord of the theme song plays on. In the library, Rainbow is on the couch with Applejack, Rarity and Spike. Fluttershy and Pinkie is on the left while Twilight is leaning on the back of the ground, watching the show.

Rainbow, grinning, exclaims, "Oh yeah! This is sooooo classic!"

"Yes! I love watching these kinds of shows!" Pinkie exclaims eating some cereal.

"But why are those guys in space?" Twilight ask her friends skeptically, making Rainbow stop smiling at this. "I mean, there's no reason for them to do so!"

"Oh, my dear skeptic egghead, there is every reason for them to be in space." Rainbow remarks slyly to Twilight.

"Ssssh, it's on!" Applejack shushes her friends as the show begins.

We see the title card for the episode 'ENCOUNTER AT COLTULON 5' written by A. Coltmendex. We now see the band members running away from flesh colored hooves, a pair of blue hands and two weird purple tentacles.

Rainbow's voice narrates, "These stallions' main goal, one of them, is to both gallop away from and give backstage passes to the hot mare-liens of the galaxy."

The band rushes into their tour spaceship that takes place. Inside, Mitt spoke up, "Bad news, boys. None of the hot mare chickens from Coltulon 5 got backstage passes to tonight's show."

"But then what midriffs will we sign?" Lefty ask the manager in concern and disbelief. No babes to meet? Bummer!

"I mean, what happened to all those passes, Mitt?" Juley ask the manager in worry.

"Simple, Galactic Radio gave them all away...to Nightmare Overlord." Mitt said seriously, making the two band members who spoke gasp with the others.

---

We can hear a rock sting of terror as an evil cyborg pony named Nightmare Overlord laughs sinisterly, "Yes, Knightshade! I was the 1,685,421 caller!" He raises his claw-like right hoof that has his name on it, opening and shutting the thing twice.

---

We see the members of Knightshade running over, this time from nothing as Rainbow's narrates, "And sometimes that magical prankster Q-Cord will show up, turning reality upside down with chaos, kinda like some chimera we know."

---

A chimera short like monster named Q-Cord appears, a sting is heard as he laughs, "Hey, Knight-losers, quick funny question; How will you be able to play tonight's show...once I turn your instruments into a bunch of noodles?!"

---

Sure enough, the show is turning into a bust big time. The audience boos at the band as they try to play a concert with instruments...that looks like noodles! Someone in the crowd yells out, "That ain't music, you bums!"

The words 'NOODLES' flash in lights behind the stage. Of course, Merry is eating his noodles, stopping to say eagerly, "Best show we've ever did!" The pony resumes eating as canned laughter is faintly heard. Despite the show bombing, Merry is enjoying himself.

"Come on, Merry! Enough with eating your drums," Lefty exclaims to his band member in annoyance.

---

The tour spaceship is seen flying through space as an alien Nukem flew past. Rainbow's voice narrates as the bus speeds off, "But most of all, the episode centers around the ponies doing their best to make sure that metal stays number one throughout the whole galaxy."

Needless to say, Mitt delivered some bad news to the stallions, explaining, "Got some bad news, guys. We have been knocked off the charts in the Impossible Zone by an alternative rock band."

"But their bassist is a mare!" Tamby protests to Mitt with a frown.

"Right, plus their drummer got short hair!" Merry agrees in disbelief that a band like that knock them off the charts.

"And the lead singer wears glasses!" Lefty whines as he clenches his fists, waving them on either side of his head.

Back in the library, Rainbow, watching the TV, frowns and throws the remote at Twilight. The unicorn yelps in pain while protesting, "Ouch! Rainbow Dash! What the hay was that for?!"

"That's for you and your nerd kind ruining metal!" Rainbow scowls to Twilight before looking down. "Ugh, Colt Taylor wearing, low self-esteemers..."

"The band is kinda uncouth...though I will have to admire their outfits." Rarity comments as she and the others resume watching the cartoon.

As the cartoon continues, the band is seen practicing on an alien planet. But then Mitt trots up saying, "I got one final bad news, guys. Our pilot episode has been cancelled."

A sting is heard a bit louder while the band gasps in shock, "What?" Their pilot cartoon has been cancelled?

"Oh well. Guess I won't see this anymore." Juley remarks with a shrug as he throws his guitar offscreen. No use in keeping the guitar since the show's been cancelled.

We now see the real Lefty on the TV, catching a real equivalent of the guitar. The stallion exclaims, "Oh yeah, thanks Space Juley! Man, can't believe we got cancelled! Weeeeeeell, join us next time, foals in syndication...or maybe on DVD if you're lucky!"

Lefty plays a short riff. The screen pauses as the TV fades out.

---

Rainbow returns to her computer with a smile as she types in saying, "So Alan, whatcha thing? If that awesome thing ain't the best thing you've ever seen, done or eaten...then maybe I should politely ask ya to gouge out your eyes, cut your tongue and...err...have all your...done...removed; Yeah."

The paper comes down as the chapter/e-mail comes to an end.

---

In the cartoon, Merry founds while asking Lefty, "How come those ponies made me fat while giving me a red mane?"

"Duh! You're the comic relief, buddy!" Lefty explains to Merry who belches very loudly.

The End

Author's note
All right, that's the cartoon, folks. Whatcha think? In the next chapter, Rainbow shortens a long e-mail while Pinkie wears long pants, freaking out. Read, review and suggest.