Rainbow Dash's E-Mails: Season Three
Chapter 81: 81. magic trick
Previous Chapter Next ChapterRainbow Dash's E-Mails: magic trick
"I'm gonna check my uhngh, and then I'll check my uhngh, and then we'll turn it out." Rainbow sang while bringing up the first e-mail. The mare is psyche due to the fact that she is closer to getting to her 200th e-mail everyday.
Dear Rainbow Dash ,
Ever sice i came to Ponyville my life has changed for the better since i met you overall I think that coming here was a good idea . anyway question . How did you meet Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy ? This has had me curious for a long time I suppose Rarity would be a ... Different story? now Twilight that's interesting but i'm curious Why were you called Rainbow Crash ? I"m meanin this as an insult just curious and Fluttershy she was called Clutzershy makes me wonder if bullyng will ever cease. tis sad to see bullying happen here in Equestria
Your's Turely Adam
PS: if you ge angry over that question i would know it's sensitive .
Rainbow types in, explaining, "I believe I already covered Pinkie Pie...unless that's a lie. As for Fluttershy, I first met her at Flight School. She was being picked on and I chase the bullies off. Rarity, I met her while looking for some awesome outfits. Twilight, you know how I first met her. Rainbow Crash...ugh! I rather not bring it up ever! Anyway, I'm calm now; next e-mail!"
Subject: Rinbowdash e-mail
Hey there. I am one filly from another country and likes magic even though I am not an unicorn. Although you aren't an unicorn too, can you do a magic trick? Yeah, I would be so happy and could visit some days. Got some tips for you: Take derpy hooves in a box, take a saw and saw her.
From Hages in another country
Rainbow pauses briefly after 'hey there', then says 'ok' after 'take Derpy Hooves in a box', says 'yes, awesome' after, 'take a saw' and sounds more excited after 'saw her'. The mare then exclaims 'From Hages in another country!?'
Rainbow types in while saying, "So you're a filly who is not an unicorn from another country and you want me to take a saw to Derpy. Oh yeah, we should definitely hang out!"
Rainbow clears the screen while continue, "Of course I can do a magic trick, buddy! Who said that only unicorns can do the magic scene? But what kind are we talking about; as in the community center talent type magic? You know the kind with..."
We now see a page of book that opens up, showing your usual magician with two cups that has two balls in front of him. Below him are the words 'Cups and Balls' with Fig. 1a' to the left and the words 'The How-to Book of How to Do Magics like Unicorns'. A thought bubble next to him says 'Both'.
Rainbow is heard continuing, "...cups and balls or those weird metal rings that has the guy going 'jingle jangle!'. We see another page that shows the same magician holding two rings close to each other. 'Fig. 6a' is to the left while 'Jingle jangle!' is in a word bubble. "And now they are separate rings!" As Rainbow says this, we see the magician taking the rings away from each other causing him to say 'Omigosh'. The caption now reads 'Fig. 6k'.
"Oh, and let's not the weird live woodland creature..." Rainbow's voice continues as we now see the magician holding a squirrel in one palm. 'Fig. 17f' is to the left of him, "...cleverly smooshed into the lining of one's jacket or pants!" As she says this, the magician himself shoves the squirrel in the front of his pants, saying, 'Sorry about that, mom!'. The text now reads 'Fig. 17g.'
"But nothing say low-grade lame magic substitute like..." Rainbow says as we see hear on stage with purple curtains, somehow holding a cone of newspaper. There is a table with two balls, two rings and a glass of milk near her. "The magical and mystical Newspaper Cone!"
The crowd gasps in amazement as Rainbow grabs the glass of milk, continuing, "Watch carefully while I pour this full glass of white milk into this cone of newspaper for no reason!" The mare shakes the newspapers before pouring milk into it. Crickets chirp as nothing seems to happen, "Huh, huh? Err...say, does anyone even Trixie remembers what this trick is supposed to do?"
Milk then drips from the newspaper's bottom. Rainbow frowns as she looks at her wings and shakes them, causing SPike to fall out somehow.
Back on the computer, Rainbow continues, "But maybe I could take a few hoof steps up from that Trixie amateur stuff and goes to the ponies whose are willing to blow their life savings in the name of magic...or as I love to call them...bitgicians!"
In the field, Rainbow stood on a small crate that reads '17 FORE FREE' with a Rainbow colored box with stars and an exclamation mark is on the left with another box on top that has a hole and a square hole with red curtains. So far, her only audience appears to be Derpy, Fluttershy and Caramel.
"You got it, ponies! Be amaze in gazement as I totally ordered Magic Stuff..." Rainbow exclaims while pointing a wing at an object on the right. "...and Amusement Catalog Item #1407B, make it and read instructions on how to use it and you didn't!" We now see the item's catalog place in the amusement catalog which is called 'Grimmore's Toilet' that sells for 'Just 6 thousand bits'.
Of course, Fluttershy and Derpy are standing to another Item #1407B as the latter comments, "Sorry, didn't mean to burst your bubble, Rainbow Dash..."
Rainbow types on her computer, saying, "There is also the subcategory of flowy-sleeved bitgicians, the kind of ponies with really cool assistants, really high production values and really...not a lot of magic. They might as well just spend their money paying the audience to think that they really did magic, like Trixie, and not bother putting on one big pointless show...like Trixie."
We see Rainbow talking to Pinkie who is wearing a jacket that flows in the wind due to a face in front of her. As the mare hands some bits to her friend, the cyan Pegasus pony booms, "Here is a thousand bits! I made this building disappear!"
Sure enough, we see the word 'POOF' being painted onto Sugarcube Corner, making Pinkie exclaims, "Wowie! That's gazemazing, gazeDashie!"
The scene darkens. As Rainbow speaks and mention 'street magic', we see an easel propped up against the Cinder Block that is shown reading 'street', 'magic', 'today'' with an arrow pointing right, "Or maybe I could go with that recent trend of street magic...but it usually descends into ponies who does stupid horsecrap to themselves in public...just like Trixie."
Rainbow, wearing a greasy shirt with a can labeled 'tips' to her right, say, "For six straight days, I won't drink, blink or think! And I will definitely not do any magic whatsoever while standing on top of Sugarcube Corner!"
Sure enough, we see Rainbow on top of Sugarcube Corner. Derpy watch from below while exclaiming, "Wow! What magic!"
Rainbow types on the computer, remarking, "But let's not bother with the different kinds of magic tricks. Time for me to take Derpy into a box...take a saw...and saw her; Oh yeah, this is going to be awesome!"
Rainbow stood on a stage while holding a saw in her mouth while wearing a flowy jacket with a fan behind herself. Derpy stood next to her, wearing a box labeled 'This Side Brony' upside with an arrow pointing towards her head and some fake hooves. The latter is excited about doing this weird magic trick.
"Okay, we didn't met before, right filly?" Rainbow asks Derpy eagerly while winking an eye to the weird-eyed Pegasus pony to follow along.
"Nope, good pal Rainbow Dash. Never said we have met," Derpy exclaims to Rainbow happily.
"You look like a mare of many wings and hooves by my guess."
"Yep! I am like an octopus!"
The time has come. As a drumroll is heard, Rainbow booms, "Okay, hold still...this might hurt a lot but..."
However Rainbow was interrupted as the fake arms fell off the box, apparently exposing the ruse. Derpy said sheepishly, "Oops; My bad!"
"Gah! That saw didn't even touch her!" Caramel is heard from the audience much to the disbelief of the other ponies. "She's evil, I tell you, pure evil like the Changeling Queen!"
Rainbow types in on her computer, saying, "Okay, sweet filly Hages, that didn't turn out what I expected. Of course, not only does Caramel think I am a good magician without a horn, but he also thinks I'm a class 3 dark enchantress! Oh, Hages, one more thing," The mare smirks devilishly as she held up a card to the screen that shows 4 pictures of her flank that reads '4 my flank'. "Isssss this your card?!"
The crowd gasps in amazement; that was incredible. The new paper comes down, bringing this e-mail/chapter to an end...well, sort of but Fluttershy interrupts, "Wait, Rainbow Dash, you left out an important kind of magic."
"What?" Rainbow asks as he glances over to see a surprising, horrifying sight: there's Fluttershy on the desk in a blue leotard that has the words 'Pegasus Spandex' on it.
"The magic of illusion of course!"
"Ugh, horse apples! I hope to Celestia that outfit of yours is an illusion!"
Without warning, Fluttershy's head tilts forward...and falls off, shattering to the floor causing Rainbow to scream. But the mare calms down as the second Fluttershy appears on the other side, smiling as she said, "Illusion!"
"Gah," Rainbow screams again as she grabs the first headless Fluttershy. That was creepy!
In a Teen Colt Squad-style clip, a determined Caramel is speaking to a stallion named DVD Gregor, the former ask, "Oh master, how can I defeat her?"
"First off you must get some root of mandrake powder!" DVD Gregor booms to Caramel sternly.
"Really; Ooh, I got plenty of that stuff lying all over! I used it to defeat the dark fungus from the Everfree Forest."
"Uh...leave my parents' basement...now..."
The End
Author's note
Wow! That magic is amazing...sort of...I think. In the next chapter/e-mail, a parent asks Rainbow for advice on how to teach his kid to...not be like her. Read, review and suggest.