Rainbow Dash's E-Mails: Season Three
Chapter 72: 72. pet show
Previous Chapter Next ChapterRainbow Dash's E-Mails: pet show
"I am continuing to roast your Rainbow Dash e-mail until it reaches a huge temperature of 189," Rainbow remarks, bringing up the first e-mail of her show.
Dear Rainbow Dash: if you ever wish to see a battle that would make the Gates of Tartarus feel safe what would the battle be
your friend Greenrob
Rainbow types in, answering, "Good question; I definitely say Pinkie Pie vs. anyone who breaks a Pinkie Promise. And I think we know who will win that one; Next e-mail!"
Subject: pet show
Haihai Rainbow Dash
Ever thought of entering Tank in a pet show?
Have fun,
Kristy, QLD
Rainbow reads QLD as 'Quick, Look Down', making her ask 'Look down?!"
Rainbow turns and saw Pinkie near her hooves, holding a spoon with relish on it while saying, "Ahhh..." The mare in annoyance kicks the pink pony away.
"Braugh," Rainbow snaps as Pinkie is heard being send flying, hitting something. The mare remarks, "Thanks for the warning, Kristy. Pinkie is trying to give me the old relish foot, I can never understand why."
Rainbow goes back to typing, asking, "Have I ever entered Tank in a pet show, as in my tortoise? Not really. But I have entered Lightnlord's Scratchitchy Bookmonger Tank in plenty. That's his show case name of course.. Yeah, Tank has got papers. He has won Best in Show 4 years in a row!"
We see Rainbow and Scootaloo are work rubbing Tank with some doughnuts, the tortoise's eyes are larger than they usually are. Rainbow comments, "Just sit still, Tank! There are 3 dozen more where these babies came from! Last year was way too close a race and that's when I entered Scootaloo as a pet! This year, we will need a secret weapon. Scootaloo, get the cream stuff."
"Got it, Rainbow Dash," Scootaloo remarks as she holds up a cream stuff doughnut, making Tank sigh a bit. This could take a while to get used to.
In her cottage, Fluttershy was waxing Tank's shell while speaking, "So I told him, if he wants to show up 30 minutes late..." The tortoise nods in respond. "...then he should find somepony else. Not to be mean but my time is valuable. Yes, I am taking these night classes, must have an education." Tank nods as the mare holds up a mirror. "The back is okay, right?"
On the couch back at Rainbow's home, Scootaloo looks over the back as her idol and the tortoise are on it. The mare comments, "With a rusty fork and a guitar string. Good response! Yeah, me too, actually; All right; if they were to ask you about the world situation," Tank nods his head making Scootaloo smiles widely, "'Nod'. Very classic! Oh, that will knock them dead for sure, especially that stodgy old Madame Fillymore. That filly got it in for us. I mean, yeah, you chew on her dress one time; Geez!"
"I said I was sorry!" Scootaloo exclaims to Rainbow in frustration. "What more does she wants?"
We now see a Pet Mess trophy with pet food bags along the side. The announcer announces, "And now, welcome back to the Pet Mess International Pet Show." We now see that the show is taking place right in city hall, panning along the table. "The hotly contest Best in Show competition is just getting underway!"
We see Pinkie grinning as she stood near Twilight, announcing, "Oh yes, Twilight! We're going to clean house this year! Hay, we're going to clean apartment and the dorm room! We're going to clean time share!" The unicorn roll her eyes as she put a leash onto the pink pony for some unknown reason best not to ask for.
Rainbow smirks devilishly as she mumbles, "Okay, Tank, this will be a piece of cake for you. As well as a piece of pie, cobber, anything else cool! Okay, get out there and do what must be done!"
Tank nod as he quickly heads off to do just that: cheat so that the tortoise can win the pet show. The tortoise put a drop of Sick Pukes into water that belongs to Madame Fillymore. He then uses a poster of a stallion to distract Rarity long enough for him to throw a bubble gum bomb right onto Opalescence. Then she breaks a low fat grill's power cord that belongs to the Mayor (don't ask) before dancing in front of a sign that says 'Dance Competition?'
Anyway, long story short, Tank helps cheat long enough to return to Rainbow before the announcer spoke up; we can see the Pet Show logo while the camera goes to Rarity and a shaved off Opalescence.
"We are now ready for the judges' score! For Rarity and Opalscence: 3.5! Good pet degree..." The announcer announces as Rarity smiles eagerly. "...terrible pet show score."
"Oh dear, well, better luck next time, Opal," Rarity said to her cat sadly. The camera now goes to the Mayor.
"The Mayor of Ponyville and an As Seen on TV Low-Fat Cooking Device...come on, you aren't supposed to be here!"
The Mayor, surprised upon hearing the result, turns to the grill angrily while snapping, "I told you that you will never amount to anything! Hay, I am not even your real father!" The camera goes over to Pinkie on her knees with a leash.
"And Fluffy's Marshmallow Crunchies' Truffles Pinkie Pie!" The announcer said while announcing Pinkie next.
"My pals call me Crunchie!" Pinkie exclaims to the announcer happily and randomly.
"8.5!" The announcer announces. The camera goes to Rainbow and Tank, the mare smiles eagerly. "And of course Lightnlord's something something Tank...disqualified for flagrant use of relish foot!"
"What?" Rainbow asks in shock and confusion. Sure enough, one of her hooves got relish on it. Apparently, that's against the rules or something!
"And thus, Crunchie's wins!"
Rainbow and Tank looks shocked and disbelief, after all that, they lost to Pinkie Pie who came in on her leash, which is still on her, while she held the trophy in triumph.
"Hey, Dashie; Looks like you got a taste of your own medicine! A taste of your own potion! A taste of your own elixir! A taste of your..." Pinkie was cut off when Tank throws a toy at her, sending the mare falling down to the floor.
Back at the computer, the mare types in while saying, "Not to worry, we are still appealing the decision of the judges. We also are a-peeling..." We see what Tank is peeling in a pile of, "POTATOES!"
With that, Rainbow laughs as she jumps headfirst into the pile as banner and confetti came down as if nothing terrible has happened. The new paper comes down as the screen darkens, ending the e-mail/chapter.
After a while, Rainbow curiously ask Tank, "Hey, Tank, you think we manage to glossed over the fact that we lost the competition?" The tortoise made a nod in affirmative. "Wow, is there anything potatoes can't do?"
We see a series of takes on Rainbow's other interpretations of QLD. In one, the Pegasus pony herself reads, "'Have fun, Kristy; Quarter leg, dark; what, you trying to order a fried meal or something?"
We hear a beep as the scene restarts; Rainbow said, "'Kristy; Quiet loser dork'; Eh, nice of you to admit that, loser!"
Another beep. Rainbow now said, "'Quivering Live Dwarves'; Uh...that is my new album name."
Another beep is heard as the scene restarts once more. Rainbow said, "'Quit lumbering down'; Hey, who said that I am?!"
Rainbow is now seen saying, "'Quickly losing dignity'. Yeeeeeah, you definitely are, pal."
In Ponyland, we see Firefly with her pet turtle 'Bazooka', putting on a 'plague show' as the mare remarks, "Yeah, good show, Bazooka! You must've got more sick stuff than any other animal here!"
The End
Author's note
Well, so much for Rainbow and Tank winning the pet show. Oh Well. In the next chapter/e-mail, the mare herself discusses what merchandise stuff that she licensed. Read, review and suggest.