Rainbow Dash's E-Mails: Season Three
Chapter 70: 70. winter pool
Previous Chapter Next ChapterRainbow Dash's E-Mails: winter pool
It took a while but Rainbow was able to convince Twilight into casting a spell so that her computer won't cause any further trouble to the environment (as well as making Lyra and Bon-Bon leave Rainbow alone). This gives the mare enough opportunity to check another e-mail.
"oh, e-mails make me tremble, so I'll keep my body nimble." Rainbow sang as she brings up her first e-mail of the show.
Dear RD ,
Ever since the Ace Swift case has anything changed since Phoenix Wright cleared your name ? ya know when ya think about it his mentor Mia fey helped in the case against Larry Butz and the old saying goes 'when something smells it's useally the butz' anyway after Larries name was cleared his mentor Mia was strick with a blunt object 'The thinker' it became the murder weapon of another trial but he got her sister Maya he cleared her name . But anyway the thinker is a table clock . Did anypony ever become a defense attorney after Phoenix left ?
Your's truely,
Adam
PS: Did you know Ace Swift the very pony who tried to 'Blackmail' you?
Rainbow responds by typing in, "Yes, Adam, I did know that...and drop a huge hailstone on him. Serve that creep right. Anyway, I don't know any defense attorney after Phoenix left. I don't do much in law; next e-mail!"
Subject: drained pool
Dear Rainbow Dash
What do you do with that pool during winter? Do you drain it and use it for skateboarding or whatever?
M. Hazard, IN
Rainbow reads the state as 'in' and says it as though there were more words coming. The mare types in, asking, "So in what; In Spork; in huge debt; in repose; well, maybe I will never figure out Mr. 'Hit-Enter-Too-Soon-Stallions."
Rainbow clears the screen as she continues, "All right, Hasbro..." We see the latest issue of the Mare Do Well. The mare continues in sarcastic tone of voice, "Sure, we usually drain it and yeah, I usually skateboard 30 different kinds of shred all over that baby, making awesome skate videos that accidentally got recorded over with the cooking ones."
Rainbow then continues in a different tone of voice, "But I digress. This year, we're doing something 20% more awesome and less pretend. Pinkie Pie finally got paid for all those Jello commercials that she did! And guess how much those ponies paid her? That's right! With a lifetime supply of Pony Jelly Gel-A-Ton, that dessert related substance!" We see the box of he mentioned stuff appearing.
We now see static before seeing a commercial for Liquidy Red Jello where Gello, with a visible brain in his head, appears, booming in a voice slightly distorted, "I AM ONE HUGE ABOMINATION!" The words 'Gello' appears. "And I'm coming over to your house after school!"
Rainbow's voice remarks, "You know, those kind of Jello commercials should be rated NC-17." We see a ratings advice label in the top left corner which reads 'NC-17, Needless Creepy times 17' before we see static.
At the pool, the ponies has proceeded in pouring the Jello stuff into the pool, we see a pile of empty boxes nearby. Rainbow, Twilight Sparkle and Pinkie glances at the pool filled with red gelatin while we see a kitchen timer shaped like a chicken. The purple unicorn uses her magic to hold a clipboard while wearing glasses.
"So how are we doing, egghead?" Rainbow asks Twilight curiously.
"Didn't get that one," Twilight said while glancing at her clipboard. "All right, if my calculations are correct, we should achieve maximum jiggle any second now."
"Oh wowie, you three! I'm glad that I chose this instead of that million bits stuff! That wouldn't even half fill this pool up!" Pinkie remarks happily and ironically. Soon an alarm is heard on the timer.
"Good, that's it! We're ready!"
"Oh yeah," Rainbow exclaims then looks around as if expecting someone. "So, where are they?"
"Where are who?" Twilight asks Rainbow, not sure what her friend means.
"Come on, I thought with this much gelatin, it could've at least attract some swimsuit wrestlers!"
"I thought it would naturally attract the oiled up Bill Coltby!" Pinkie exclaims in confusion.
"Hey Caramel, yew heard 'de latest news?" Applejack asks Caramel with a grin while the latter is leaning on the counter of her stand.
"What?" Caramel asks Applejack curiously.
"Mah pony friends has filled 'dat there swimming hole wit' red Jell-Os!"
"Wow, cool! You know, I once have a student in my class that I attend to one time named Mighty Reddo! True story, that's what his parents named him! He had a sister called Grape Flavored Jello with A Lot of Daisies in It! No horse crap!" Caramel exclaims. Applejack frowns in annoyance, his story is getting annoyed. The mare appears to be descending as if in an elevator. As her stand darkens, lit with overhead light, the stallion continues unknowingly, "Plus, if you flash your lights at a car with the headlights on, the gangster will shoot ya!"
At the pool, Rainbow stood in the middle of it on a toilet seat while Big Macintosh stood at the pool's edge. The Pegasus pony calls out, "Okay, Big Mac, buck it around!" The stallion nods as he hits the pool surface with his back feet, causing a small wave to ripple across. As it pass by Rainbow, she exclaims, "Hang ten, gnarly! Endless summer! Oh yeah, do ti again, but this time, smack it like a newborn's muffin!"
"Eeyup," Big Macintosh remarks as he hits the pool surface much harder. This time, a much higher wave comes at her; the force of it knocks the pony off her board.
"Whoa!" Rainbow lands headfirst into the pool then she begins to sink. Her toilet seat lands in the gelatin, sinking as well. "Err, lifeguard? Some help here?"
Soarin', in a lifeguard chair with sunscreen on his snout, exclaims, "Oh yeah, this is what I like best about this job!"
Soarin' jumps right at Rainbow and lands onto the gelatin...only to go bouncing right into the sky, disappearing into the distance. Rainbow continues to sink to the pool's bottom. To her surprise, there's Pinkie with her. A meter in the background shows that they are 10 feet below the surface.
"Awww, cupcakes; I hope you were Bill Coltby," Pinkie, voice slightly distorted, said to Rainbow in disappointment.
"So what are we doing breathing down here for anyway?" Rainbow, voice slightly distorted as well, comments puzzled.
"Not sure, I haven't thought that far ahead really."
"Right and how did you get down here, Rarity?"
Sure enough, we see Rarity also at the pool's bottom, saying, "Fell in by accident, darling. No worries, I got this covered." The mare then presses a button on some sort of remote control.
At the Cutie Mark Crusaders' tree house, the CMC was sucking something out of a bowl through crazy straws while watching a familiar show on TV. Coltsworth exclaims, "Hey, you can't grow a ZZ top beard!"
Just then an alarm went off with red flashing lights. The trio, as their straws fell, saw a sign that is flashing 'Eat a Lot of Food Alert'. Apple Bloom exclaims, "Our talents are needed, Cutie Mark Crusaders!"
"Yeah, time to eat some food!" Scootaloo exclaims as she and her friends grab their straws, rushing out.
"Yeah," Sweetie squeals in delight.
At the pool's bottom, Rarity comments, "Help should be here...providing nothing goes wrong."
"Rainbow Dash, this is it, I just know it." Pinkie said to Rainbow in sadness. "Why, when I die, make sure to have my body preserved in red Jello, okay?"
"Trust me, that won't be a problem, Pinkie Pie." Rainbow remarks to Pinkie dryly, especially since the two and Rarity are in Jello anyway.
"You are always a good friend, Dashie."
"Ponies, it's all over," The familiar voice of Apple Bloom is heard as her voice is slightly distorted. Above the pool, we see her, Scootaloo and Sweetie holding their crazy straws above the pool surface. "Help is here, everypony close yer eyes!"
"Right, this won't be pretty!" Scootaloo remarks as she bends over for a close up then leans back up. "Ready?"
"1, 2, 3," The girls exclaims eagerly as they stick their straws into the pool...and starts sucking. We fade to black...
...we came back to the computer with Rainbow limping in with red gelatin patches all over herself; The mare looks disgusted as she sat back at her computer. Rainbow has survived that one, but boy, is it disgusting!
Rainbow types in, explaining, "All I could remember after my eyes are closed, was that first, it got real loud, then it got real hot and slimy. Then it got quiet and then...it got unspeakable. Once my eyes are opened, the pool was empty and 3 pays has passed. Worst yet, Soarin' still hasn't landed! Where could he be?"
In outer space, a space station, labeled 'CELESTIA', is seen as Soarin' floats by, cheering, "yeah, this is awesome!' An alien floats past making an unusual noise as the new paper comes down, bringing this chapter/e-mail to a close.
Back at the stand, Applejack comments, "Well, e-mail 197 is in 'de can."
"1...8...7; Gah! Get down!" Caramel screams in alarm as he covers his head, much to Applejack's annoyance.
"Caramel, what 'de hay are yew doing?"
"There's a 1-8-7! Break yourself, AJ!"
"Ah would break yew, ya vermint!" Applejack remarks to Caramel with a scowl.
"Oh, I knew I shouldn't flash my brights at the place full of griffins!" Caramel adds with a groan of despair.
The End
Author's note
Lesson learned? Never filled a pool with Jello; in the next chapter/e-mail, we meet Rainbow Dash's fanclub 'The Rainbow Dash Fan Club'! Read, review and suggest!