Rainbow Dash's E-Mails: Season Three
Chapter 69: 69. environment
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"I'm chicky-checkin' e-mails in something eight! Stricky-stricky-Rainbow Dash fit to regulate!" Rainbow sang as she begins checking on her e-mails per usual.
Dear Rainbow,
thanks for the date i really enjoyed it oh which reminds me i'll be doing my own season of emails coming in so yea if you don't mind that is (pulls a Fluttershy). anyway i'll be staying here in Ponyville so that way i can get my own show going mostly in my TARDIS setting a few things up other than that i'll be hanging arund (knowing Twilight she'll send me an email same with Rarity Luna Doctor Whooves and maybe Pinkie oh sweet Celestia i sure hope not) anyway if and when i get my first season posted i can' wai for an email to be sent
Yours Truely Adam
PS: as always Onwards and Upwards
Rainbow types in, saying, "Oh, I see; Some competition, eh? Well, I would love see you do better, Adam, and that ain't sarcasm or mean...thing. Anyway, good luck on your show. You will need it; next e-mail!"
Subject: high time
Dear Rainbow Dash,
Listen, I know you are one busy mare, but my pal and I cannot help but think that you should do more to help the environment. Equestria is your home too, of course.
Lid and Jewels,
ID and MO, respectively
Rainbow reads 'ID' as 'idiot' and 'MO' as moron. We now see Illipony and Mootana dance with weird looks on their faces. We see Moontana turning into another state with the words 'Idiot and Moron' changing into 'Mike is a Moron'. The mare types in while speaking, "Well, mares, I do help the environment. Besides keeping up with the weather...I mean, no ponies gave me credit for my most significant contribution."
Rainbow clears the screen while continuing, "Every morning, besides my work, the first thing I do is NOT drop hailstones on anypony's head. I mean, who knows how many greenhouse gases I would've rescued as a result of not mortally wounding anypony? And let's not forget my New Year's resolution stop watering any plants with bleach. Now I water them with strictly..."
We see a house and the flowers as Rainbow continues, "...recycled cigarette butts."
As cigarettes are dropped onto the floor, one flower cough, "Oh yeah, good stuff..."
Back at the computer, Rainbow types in, "There you go possibly, mares. My boat take..."
Suddenly Rainbow was interrupted as two familiar voices are heard outside protesting faintly, "Eliminate-X the AwesomeX! We think it's really crap-x! Eliminate-X the AwesomeX," The mare looks confused as she looks outside to see Lyra and Bon-Bon outside with two picket signs.
"The hay?"
Rainbow flies down to the ground and saw Lyra and Bon-Bon holding protest signs, the former holds one that said 'Eliminate-X the AwesomeX' the latter's sign said 'AwesomeX, Take The Dirty X!'.
"We think it's really crap-x!" Lyra and Bon-Bon exclaims in protest some more.
"Okay, what's going on here, you two? Are you picketing my computer or what?" Rainbow asks the two ponies with a frown.
"You know we do! That AwesomeX is an energy Sappy-Nex!" Bon-Bon remarks to Rainbow sternly, making the mare roll her eyes at this.
"Oh, very clever; what, it took you long to think up that..."
"It took us 3 days!" Lyra exclaims to Rainbow with a proud pose.
"Aaaaand, how come there's only two of you protesting?" Rainbow asks the two ponies dryly. "No one else wants to join?"
"They don't believe in our cause! But that isn't important! Look at your power bill from last month!" Bon-Bon exclaims to Rainbow as Lyra took out a stack of paper marked 'BILLS' to Rainbow.
"Right, the bill itself uses 8 trees' worth of paper!" Lyra exclaims in agreement with her roommate.
"So wait, you're telling me that 70,000 bits worth of power bills isn't on the norm?" Rainbow asks the two ponies skeptically.
"Rainbow Dash, every time you press enter on your AwesomeX, the rest of us loses power!" Bon-Bon remarks sternly, much to Rainbow's surprise. Her computer could do that?
"Whoa, seriously?"
We push wipe back to the computer as we see a list that is labeled 'Okay for Mom' on the screen with various euphemisms for flank within it. Rainbow types in on the list, "Tuckus..." When the mare presses enter, a circuit breaker is heard clacking and blowing each time. Rainbow kept pressing enter a few times, "...hinder, bwathom, boontockle..."
Pinkie is playing on her video game, exclaiming happily, "Yay! I'm about to win!" The room goes dark. "Awww..." The lights are turned back on. "Yeah, I'm about to win!" The room darkens once more. "Awww..."
We see that the TV's image actually says 'PLEASE INSERT GAME PAK, PONY'. Pinkie is random enough to forget to insert a game pak into her console. The mare exclaims, "I'm really about to win now!" The room darkens once more, "Oooh. Once more with the awww..."
Rainbow groans, "All right, fine. If you wanna be that way, I will use the AwesomeX's battery instead."
"Sorry, not a chance," Lyra remarked to Rainbow with a frown, "Because every time you use that battery, 45 acres of rainforest are burned to the ground! Actually, if it was the Everfree Forest, it may not be a problem, but anywhere else..."
"Whoa! Cool! I knew that the AwesomeX was awesome but never to the point of her destructive power! I should make a point of getting Time Turnet to help me to overclock it and see if we can't get that up to an even number of 50 acres!"
"Rainbow Dash, you should do something!" Bon-Bon said to Rainbow in worry. "Why, even Big Macintosh is doing all his cooking with hydroelectric!"
In a shower at the Apples' farm, Big Mac is holding a wet an apple while saying, "Eeyp, the world famous Big Macintosh..." A logo appears in the upper left corner. "...Apple!" More words appear on the screen as he says them, "Eeyup, mmmmm! Eat it in!"
"Wait, so all I gotta do is take something I already do and word it differently so it sounds ecto-friendly?" Rainbow ask Lyra and Bon-Bon, wondering what it will take to continue using her computer without any fuss over the environment.
"Yeah, that's what we do mostly." Bon-Bon said, satisfied that Rainbow is getting the idea.
"Right, check out my awesome sustainable CP3 player!" Lyra exclaims as she held out a CD player.
"As well as my organic Wilma and Betty DVD."
"Right...well, okay...say hello to my 65 mile-per-gallon hybrid hailstone!" Rainbow exclaims with a devilish smile as she flew upward. The two on the ground gasps as a huge hailstone is coming their way, forcing them to gallop out of the way in time.
"Celestia's Mane," Lyra and Bon-Bon exclaims at once as the hailstone smashed into the field where they were.
To satisfy the whiners, Rainbow made some adjustments to her home to help the environment. She continues typing while saying, "All right, there, there, THERE we go, maybe fillies. Rainbow Dash and the environment are having a 20% awesome time in her home of a solar-powered cloud house. Hay, take a look at the AwesomeX's new environmentally complaint sticker compliance sticker!" We see a close up of the mentioned sticker on the computer. "Also, it got a picture of a little leaf on it. That way, you know that it's for the environment. So until next week, my boat take..."
Just then familiar dragon noises are heard as the computer's screen goes dark. We see Spike, painted green, in hamster wheel hook up to the AwesomeX in hopes to be 'environment' friendly.
"Come on, green Spike!" Rainbow insists to Spike who groans as he runs in the wheel some more. "Good, that's good. Only 17 more hours and I can press send...or until I can talk the egghead or one of the Royal Sisters to use a spell so that I won't rely on electricity or other stuff all the time to avoid more complaining!"
The new paper comes down reading 'Click gently to eco-mail Rainbow Dash; printed on 100% post-consumer pony paper with green ink'. After a while as the hamster wheel sound effect fades out, Rainbow comments, "Wow, that must be one whisper quiet hamster wheel."
We see a button that extols of the virtues of GreenSpike. Rainbow types in his 'Okay for Mom' list on the AwesomeX, saying 'Boat take'... She then presses enter.
As Pinkie continues playing her video game, her lights and TV come on, commentating, "I gotta say. This must be the most easiest video game that I've ever played." The room darkens.
The End
Author's note
Well, Rainbow may be having trouble with the environment for a while. In the next chapter/e-mail, Rainbow experiments with the pool with some Jello stuff to show how it can be used during the winter. Read, review and suggest.