Rainbow Dash's E-Mails: Season Three
Chapter 64: 64. web comics
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"My Rainbow Dash E-Mail goes down smoothly and clean like Apple Cider." Rainbow comments as she brings up the first e-mail of the fic.
Dearest Rainbow Dash ,
if there is one thign i hate it's going to be Valentines Day ... reminds me too much of my past . Did you ever have any relationships in your life? anyway though in a few days it's going to be Valentines day or Hearts and hooves day. Which reminds me ever been on a date with a 'special somepony'? cause count me out of the romance department . other than that ,
Ever wrote your own story and published it? also How many breakups have you went throug
Yours truely
Adam (sad face)
PS I feel like a hopeless bonehead unable to get a parner for the rest of my own life (sad face)
Rainbow couldn't help but feel sorry for Adam. The mare responds as she types, "There, there, you aren't a hopeless bonehead, Adam. You can find someone someday. I don't have much relationships, breakups or dates since I haven't dated much. Look, if you want a date, just pop in and we may work something out. As for stories, that's a need to know basic; next e-mail!"
Subject: story ideas
Hey there Rainbow Dash,
My pals and I are thinking of making a web comic together. I wonder if you got any suggestions for us. Thanks a lot
Wingkiller
Standing right behind ya
Rainbow remarks 'for not using punctuation, dummy' after 'Thanks a lot' and said 'Wingkiller' as 'Wingk-iller'. We see a Pony Command-Os figure named after him.
Rainbow types in as she asks, "So who are ya? Uni-Corn's evil twin brother; Well, I don't need your sisters today, pal! All my gunk is plenty ill already!"
The mare clears her screen as she continues, "As for web comics, Uni, those are easy! Nowadays, they are about video games, game nerds, web geeks, dork nerds, game wads, nerd games, web webs and of course gnomes. How about pick one of those guys and start tableting? Like the one where the slickly drawn college roommates make nothing but video game inside jokes?"
The scene shows a shot of a comic with two characters. One of them loosely resembles Rainbow Dash with a black Mane and a green shirt while the other looks like Twilight with a short blonde hair and is holding a hoof-held video game.
The Rainbow character speaks in Rainbow's voice, the text appears in speech bubbles above her, "Hey, did you try to case mod that hay you're making?"
The Twilight character respond in Twilight's voice, "Not really, why," We now see the next panel are looking at a burny brick in a baking pan that the Rainbow-like character is holding.
"Because this thing has got BRICKED!"
We now see the next panel of the comic as both ponies stared wide-eyed with computer sounds playing. The Twilight character said, "3.2ghz cell processor with 3 dual-threaded cores, 1.8 TFLOPS, 256mb XDR..."
The Rainbow-like character begins a short way through the previous line and continues simultaneously with it as she say, "Light bloom, floating point frame buffers, volumetric effects, high dynamic range rendering... "
As the scene fades, an annoyed Rainbow's voice comments, "Yeah, I wish I knew what that stuff means."
Back at the computer, Rainbow continues her typing, "Now another approach to use is to just ask for input from your viewers and rip that off for content." We zoom out a bit as the mare turns around to face us, "Pfff. That's a cop-out. The paper comes down very quickly.
On Spike's computer, Rainbow's voice continues, "Spike has one of those. He get ponies to send him names of weird senders from spam e-mails..." The baby dragon is seen clicking the menu for 'E-mail' and brings up a list of names that has subjects as well. "...and then he makes interpretive drawings based on them!" Spike double clicks on the name 'Crash R. Seriousing'. "Just classics like..."
The scene changes to show an undersea image that shows two sharks crashing into one another. Swimming below them is a creature that is made up of a glass dome and a propeller. Under the then is the text in yellow called 'Crash R. Seriousing'.
"...Crash R. Seriousing!" Rainbow's voice exclaims. Back with Spike, the mare continues on, "And of course..."
We see the baby dragon double clicking on the name 'Wisest J. Drawingbridges'. The scene now shoes a stallion in sports clothes outside a mostly-raised drawbridge over a moat; he has a mane and horns. His left foreleg is extended into the moat itself and back up to knock onto the drawbridge which has eyes, a tongue and some sharp ugly teeth. We see the text in white 'Wisest J. Drawingbridges' at the top.
"...Wisest J. Drawingbridges," Rainbow's voice adds in. We go back to Spike as he looks at the current picture on his computer. Rainbow, now with him, adds, "Wow, that stuff is seriously mess. That gunk is really ill there."
Rainbow is back on her computer, commentating, "Of course if Cartoony or Spikey drawings aren't what you're looking for, try your cracked serial numbers for 'Rampage & Escape: The Fantasy Photoshop Awesomeness Comic'!"
We now see an image of a character whose heads looks like Rainbow Dash's, except she has a beard, big muscles and is holding a buckler and a sword. We see a creature that looks like Spike with a pointy tail and bigger horns on his head
"Halt!" The Rainbow lookalike known as Balrog the Awesomeswordness said as the words appear above her in a speech buble, "Hold it; Balrog the Awesomeswordness shimmers for no colt!"
"Whoa!" Spike exclaims in alarm and worry. We see him behind Balrog who hold her sword defensively in front of her.
We see a figure in a black cloak across from them and held out a right hoof, speaking in Rainbow's voice, "LENS FLARE!" She made a lens flares appear on her mentioned hoof, ready for battle.
"Okay, PLASTIC WRAP," Balrog exclaims, causing the scene to be covered in plastic wrap, Photoshop effect.
Back on her computer, Rainbow adds, "But for those ponies who can't draw for brains, no problem! Just steal some graphics from your fave video game! Just add yet another unlicensed pixel comic to the overcrowded overstunk landfill of web comics."
We see a panel that looks like Crono in a sprite form from her My Little Pony Anime game on green land. As theme music from the first level plays, the mare spoke in a speech bubbles, "Sometimes, I wish I could challenge myself, you know?"
We now see the next panel where the scene is dark. The text 'ZAP' appears in red near the top as if something has teleported in. Once the scene is back to normal, a second Crono appears, facing the first and jumping while in Wild Milly's voice, "Hey, I'm Crono!"
"WAAAAAAAH," Crono exclaims with an eager squee. Finally, she can challenge herself!
"Of course, when your pixel comic isn't funny..." Rainbow's voice said as the next panel looks like the same as the previous. But we see two dark eyes with green iris adding with various shapes and colors, "...then MS Paint your way to a non-punch line." The scene fades out.
Rainbow said at her computer, "Well terrible as this is, I guess some web comics are better fate for video games than Saturday morning cartoons were."
We now see a cartoon scene that shows a purple dragon thingie with spikes on back, near a yellow colt with a shirt that said 'Colt' and a surfboard and a dog wearing sunglasses.
"Yo, come on, Spike Collect," Colt insists to the dragon known as Spike Collect. "Let's go surfing inside that evil castle and have a Surfing Time!"
"Yeah, dudede..." The dog said stupidly.
As the scene zooms in on Spike Collect, the dragon shudders, "Oooh, not sure about this; Collect, collect, collect some more."
We now see a scene of a warlock with red eyes, a brown cloak, a beard and three jewels on his tail looking at the previous scene in a crystal ball in his castle. He remarks sinisterly, "Oh yes...once the final spike is collected, the sweepstakes will be mine!"
We now see a picture of a clay alien in a kitchen with a speech bubble that said 'Spike Collect will be right back'. Above it is a small picture of Spike Collect with a bubble of the text 'Saturday Morning Games' at the bottom right.
"Spike Collect will be right back." An announcer is heard on the screen. The scene shows a smiling animated Thy Dungeonpony and the text 'The Animated Adventures of Thy Dungenpony'. "And make sure you stay tuned for 'The Animated Adventures of Thy Dungepony'!"
Now we see a background with houses that aren't drawn good; There are two characters in front with the text 'Go North' and 'Get Sword' near them, both are in green letters, eyes and legs.
"Cousin is coming to visit soon." Get Sword remarks in a weird kind tone of voice.
We now see a text character called 'Take Sword' coming near 'Get Sword', saying, "Hey ponies!"
Two more green characters are seen running behind the trio. Now we see a scene that shows a text character called 'John' chasing after one called 'Ye Element', the former yell angrily, "Get back heeeeeeere, you bum!"
Rainbow types up on her computer, saying, "Now then, Uni, to answer your question...DON'T MAKE A WEB COMIC EVER! Just make an original one! Any smart pony knows that putting 'web' in front of the word 'comic' will automatically make them crappy! Just look what happened to 'page', 'cams' and let's not forget the fall of the might 'isode'; Oh, the tragic."
The new paper comes down, bringing this chapter/e-mail to an end. We see a chance to make your own Crono Comic using sprites from the My Little Pony Anime game. We now see a drawing of a blimp above a stadium that has the words 'GO BRONY' over it.
In a scene, the cloaked figure takes on Balrog as he yells out, "OCEAN RIPPLED!" Another effect is applied.
"FIND EDGES," Balrog exclaims as another effect is applied, changing muchj of the color.
"SHARPEN MORE!"
"Er...nudge!"
More effects as the image gets...well, let's say this is kinda lame to you folks, so let's not explain, okay?
The End
Author's note
Well, for those who wanna make web comics, either don't or do. Either way is fine. In the next chapter/e-mail, Rainbow goes on a business trip with Derpy. Read, review and suggest!