Rainbow Dash's E-Mails: Season Three
Chapter 63: 63. slumber party
Previous Chapter Next ChapterRainbow Dash's E-Mails: slumber party
"Gary... I hope this e-mail's from Gary..." Rainbow sang as she brings up the first e-mail of the story. Once it's up, the mare exclaims, "Ha! Oh, oh man..." Turns out that the e-mail isn't from Gary but oh well.
Rainbow Dash
So who's more awesome Wind whistler or Surprise? I'm curious though so you guys going on any more advenures any time soon (To save Equestria from danger and what not?) and while I"m on that note i know in many many sories hat you adopted Scooaloo ,is that true?. Anyway just wanted o let you know that Your 20% Cool but you need to be 20% cooler hehe as for me I'm not sure anyway when's he next Grand Galloping Gala I should atend if the Princess could provide an extra ticket
Yours truely Adam
OH and PS: Don't Tell Twilight this about me going to the Grand Galloping Gala I'm serious
Rainbow chuckles as she types in, "Adam, what if Twilight were to be watching this? Then I won't be telling her, you would do so. Anyway, I think Surprise is more awesome. Wind Whistler is egghead central like some unicorn that I know. As for adventures, who knows? Our lives isn't about saving lives and kicking flank, we just do our activities and learn lessons from them. As for the adoption, that's a TBD kind of basis. Now as for the next GGG, same there; I will see if I we can get the princess to give an extra ticket...but if the GGG is always boring like every time that it's held, I HIGHLY don't recommend it. Whoa, I did a long one; next e-mail!"
Subject: slumber parties
Dear Rainbow Dash,
I have attended a slumber party but there is nothing but a lame game of Uno. I must ask ya, what types of slumber parties should one attend or not bother with?
Sincerely,
Thomas C. from NY
Rainbow reads 'NY' as 'eh-why'. The mare types in while asking, "So what, just you and a game of Uno? As in no other ponies, sleeping bags or R-rated movies? Yeah, you should've skipped that one. Family card games are always known for hosting the worst slumber parties ever."
Sure enough, we see Blossomforth at a table; her eyes are half closed as we see a deck of cards sitting across from her. An annoyed Rainbow remarks flatly, "Thanks for inviting me, Blossom-Bo."
Back at the computer, Rainbow clears her screen as she continues, "Now then, let's say, and not Pinkie Pie literally, that you do get invited to a slumber party by a carbon based life form. The first thing you got to look at is how popular the host is."
We see a blackboard that has the words 'COOLPONY'S LAW' drawn on it, along with a drawing of Rainbow's head wearing glasses and a mortar board. The mare's voice said, "According to Coolpony's Law, the popularity of the host in question is inversely proportional to the amount of what fun you can have at their place." We see the formula appearing as she speaks.
Rainbow continues typing in on her computer, saying, "You definitely don't have anything to lose there! Hay, you can even tear that place apart and dislocate all the foals' shoulders that you want. May as well since you probably won't go back there again afterwards."
In Pinkie's house, Pinkie and Rainbow are having a slumber party which shows sledgehammers embedded in the walls. The Pegasus pony is holding one as her friend ask puzzled, "Say, Dashie, what did you say that this family card game is called again?"
"I called this 'Find the Load-Bearer'; what, never played this game before?" Rainbow asks Pinkie as the pink pony glances at two axes embedded in her bed.
"Nah; 'Find the Load Bearer', 'Bad Axe', etc. Nope! I have never heard of any of these games that we're playing."
Rainbow shrugs as she throws another axe into the bed, cracking it further. What fun!
Back at the computer, Rainbow types in while saying, "Normally ponies who are unpopular has dads who can definitely still play video games. So try and locate..."
Rainbow opens up a dresser and pull out some games, looking excited. Her voice is heard continuing, "...his stash of Rated M for Mature titles."
"Whoa, I hit the Jackpot!" Rainbow squeals as she held up various games with gruesome images on them. "'DNA Bleeder', 'Pony Chopper 2', 'Wound Battles', 'Blister-blaster'?! These things have been taken off the market by the Royal Sisters!"
"Actually, Mr. Cake told me that those are off-limits, he has me hid them here and never to let anypony played them. We're only allowed to play 'Hoof Clapper Party'." Pinkie explains happily as she begins to play the mentioned game. It involves two hooves clapping against a blue background. They clap 3 times then the words 'ROUND clear' appears in a red background with confetti, 12 left hooves rapidly appears at the bottom, each one right in front of another.
Back at the computer room, Rainbow continues, "Next thing you got to check out and consider when going to a slumber party is the menu of what they're serving."
We now see a blue screen that has the words 'TYPICAL SLUMBER PARTY FARE' at the top with a filly's head at the bottom. As Rainbow spoke with things appear, the pony got fatter, "The typical slumber party fare includes stuff like a six-foot party sub..." A huge sub appears. "...a huge amount of tofu pizzas..." We see 14 boxes of tofu pizzas appearing in stacks of 8 and 6. "...and enough candy and ice cream soda..." The mentioned candy and 3 mugs of bubbling cream soda appear. "...to make even your spit hurt."
The colt sticks out his tongue that is now bumpy and rainbow colored, a rainbow drool drop forms.
At a table, Rainbow's voice continues, "Of course, if you go over there..." The Pegasus pony flew in from the sky. "...and they are probably doing something scary like having a meal at a table and those ponies are serving stuff like..." A chicken leg in a pan moves towards the mare as we can hear her continue speaking uncertainly, "...chicken...in a pan?"
A plate that has salad in it moves towards Rainbow, making her uncertain as her voice said, "With some salad..." Milk is poured into a glass onto the table. "...as well as a glass of milk to drink? Then start galloping off!" The mare screams as she runs off, "Because that is definitely one family with serious health problems!"
Back at the computer, Rainbow continues while typing, "Of course, if you ponies are looking for one guaranteed good time, try to get invited to an OLDER PONY's slumber party. If I remember right, anything goes at those things!"
Of course, we see Mr. Waddle having a slumber party with Rainbow in attendance, along with Granny Smith and the Mayor. The old stallion said, "My cousin Louie is head...so is my cousin Harry for that matter."
"Ugh, my back still hurts and so do my knees." Granny Smith remarks with a groan. "My head still hurts too!"
"Government ain't right, government ain't right!" The Mayor whines a bit.
"Anyway, my escrow carries over into my lumbargo, but then my sciatica begins acting up." Mr. Waddle said tiredly.
Rainbow has her eyes half closed, standing near a sleeping back on the ground while asking, "Any chance you old ponies can start using words that were made after technology was made?"
"Now don't be like that whipper snapper! The ponies and I are going to start playing a game of chance." The Mayor said while holding up some dice, shaking them. "Wanna play?"
"Uh, let me guess, that doesn't involve Bed Axe." Rainbow, eyes completely open, said uneasily as she held up an axe.
Rainbow blinks uneasily as she types in some more on her computer, "Actually, you may wanna put a cap on what you define as 'older ponies'. Of course, other than that, you can always look forward to endlessly making fun of the pony whose get picked up early because he or she misses his or her mom. Heck, Blossomforth used to do that when we have slumber parties!"
Blossomforth, one of her wings is in a sling, frowns as she stood nearby protesting, "Come on, that only happened once!"
"Uh huh..."
"A week..."
"Keep going." Rainbow said to Blossomforth with a mischievous smirk, knowing that the mare is fibbing about that.
Blossomforth looks down in embarrassment while adding, "Fine, for 10 years. Happy?"
"Oh yeah, there you go," Rainbow chuckles before turning back to her computer to type some more, "On, one more thing. If by any chances your PJs happened to be...oh I don't know...a V-neck undershirt with a pair of questionable red stuff underneath, do yourself a favor. Don't wear those at a slumber party. Don't ask me how I know this. Please, PLEASE, I insist..." The mare hangs her head down in shame. "...DON'T ASK ME HOW I KNOW THIS."
"How do you know that?"
"Oh, that's it; how about I relieved you of your located shoulder; YAH!"
Rainbow, outraged by Blossomforth mocking her, flies off her chain after the Pegasus pony as we can hear her screaming. The new paper comes down, bringing this chapter/e-mail to a close.
We see a game of Hoof Clapper Party that is being played. After 2 rounds are clear, the 'Blister-blaster mode' got unlocked which shows an unpixelated pony ghost in a hockey mask attacking the hooves with a chainsaw, causing nasty unpixelated blisters.
We now see Pinkie in a T-Shirt with cupcakes on it, wearing bunny slippers and a sleeper cap while holding a rolled up sleeping bag. The mare dances in a blue background while exclaiming, "Party, yay! Slumber party! Listen to some Shade; at my slumber party!"
The End
Author's note
Well, folks, the slumber parties look...kinda interesting. In the next chapter/e-mail, a few ponies ask Rainbow on how to make a web comic. Read, review and suggest.