Rainbow Dash's E-Mails: Season Three
Chapter 60: 60. original
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"Gropin' around in the dark, tryin' ta find an e-mail! Da-da-da-blue-got-an-dow," Rainbow sang on her computer. The mare still has that annoying new paper to deal with but has to put up with it unfortunately. Rainbow brings up her first e-mail of the day.
Dear Rainbow Dash,
now i know for a fact that you love to read Daring Do don' get me wrong like the time you thought reading was an 'eggheads' thing . Anyway though do you read anything else besides Daring Do like like Harry Potter ,Star wars or Back to the future ? jus wondering me i just read and write MLP fanfics (mostly the human in Equestria fanfics) so thoughts on Reading .
Your's Truely
Adam
PS knowing you ,you would freak if you met Daring Do for real just like with Spitfire of the wonderbolts i think she's kinda cool in my opinion seeya
Rainbow begins typing in her answer, "Yeah, I would freak if I do met Daring Do for real. As for other stuff, I read some awesome comics books and other stories, here and there. Like any fairy tales made back in Ponyland times or whatever Megan brings from Earth. Okay? Okay; next e-mail!"
Subject: Another Actors
Hails and Wings Rainbow Dash, /m/
Ever watch your favorite shows and sequels and begin to realize that your favorite character has been unscrupulously replaced with another actor?
Jom & Terry
Lansing, Ponyigan
Rainbow makes a rock-ish scream in place of the emoticon. The mare types in, asking, "Whoa, whoa, whoa, hang on, you ponies are really asking me that? Come on, we do that to you ponies all the time! There has been 12 Mayors of Ponyville."
Rainbow clears the screen as she continues, "And what, you ponies are telling me that you have forgotten about the original Applejack?"
We see Pinkie at Sweet Apple Acres, speaking to what looks like Applejack in the foreground, "Hi, Original AJ! How's the original business going?"
The pony turns around, she resembles Applejack except her hat is missing and she has seven number of apples with green leaves on her flanks. When the mare trots, she fells and knocks stuff over. 'BY ORIGINAL APPLEJACK' is seen on a stand nearby, along with two papers taped to it that said 'CHEAP THRILLS!' and 'CHEAPER TRICKS'.
When Applejack spoke, she sounds a bit like Firefly, "Hey there, Pinkie Pie! I can see you from here!" The mare stood up, holding her hooves apart, so to speak.
"Wowie, that's some nice eyesight, Original AJ!" Pinkie exclaims with a smile.
"Of course, it isn't all good eyesight and good apples." Rainbow's voice said as the screen became inverted grayscale with spooky music starting. "Behind the scenes is a thick bubbling pit of crude...turmoil!"
Once the colors are back, we see the Mayor and Original Applejack behind a table with an ice tea container, paper cups, a box of Cupcakes and a Tupperware box of some stuff. The original mare looks upset while pointing at the box, demanding, "Okay, who ate the mayo off my celery?! And how did that happened?!"
Original Applejack gave a suspicious glance to the Mayor who protests, "Now, now, that is one technique that even a mayor like myself cannot reveal. Honest!"
"Ugh, all righty, this is the first and only straw! I am out of here, you amateur ponies!"
After poking the Mayor on the face twice on the last part, the Original Applejack, with a hoof pointing, trots away as amateurish music plays, the mare kept on tripping and knocking down stuff while she does so. It's obvious that this could be the last time that we see of the Original Applejack.
Back on the computer, Rainbow types on while saying, "And with the future of Original Applejacks unsure, we had to come up with pretty creative ways to write her into stories. That way, the viewers won't realize that she's gone."
Back at Sweet Apple Acres, both Pinkie and Rainbow are in lederhosen while standing near a large cardboard box that reads 'FRIDGERATE AGAIN'. The pink pony happily say, "Well, according to the Original Applejack, who is really behind that fridge box thing, I won the yodeling contest!"
Static appears as we see the duo dressed like mountain cops near a box that said 'DEESH WARSH', the trees are changed to their fall colors.
Pinkie grins while saying, "Well, Original Applejack, who is really behind that dishwasher box..."
After some more static, we see Pinkie in a poncho and sombrero near a box that said 'KLEENLOAD'. The mare then say, "...behind that washing and drying thing..."
After some more static, Pinkie is wearing a weird police unicorn near a box that reads 'HOT20'. It is now night time with the landscape covered in snow. The pink mare remarks, "...that hot water heater whatchacallit it..."
And of course, more static. Pinkie is wearing some jungle clothes, there is an upside down shoe box labeled 'sugarcube corner's' with a tower made out of toothpicks on top.
"...behind that..." Pinkie blinks, looking clearly confused. "...err, toothpick sculpture? Yeah, I don't think this is working." We now see more static.
Back at the computer, Rainbow explains, "It soon became obvious that Original Applejack was gone and she is never coming back. So there was an interim period of rotating guest Applejacks just like when talk show hosts have surgery or go to prison."
At Sweet Apple Acres, Pinkie trots up to see Granny Smith in a cowboy and an orange shirt with apples on it. She smiles while saying, "Hey, Granny Smith! Can I have some apple pie?"
"Oh, uh..." Granny Smith said in confusion. "Err...I should think I should eat a pony."
Pinkie flinches with surprise. That was both surprising and creepy!
We see some static before showing Rainbow and Scootaloo at Sweet Apple Acres. They are talking to the Pony Command-Os actor Zapp Cracker who is playing Applejack. The sign nearby has 'Zapp Cracker' posted over the word 'ORIGINAL'.
"BLAAAAAAAAAAH," Zapp exclaims as he jumps forward to Rainbow, almost scaring the wings off her. "What can I get for you two fine fillies; BLLLLAAAAAH!"
"Ugh, forget it, Zapp Crack-Applejack." Rainbow said in annoyance. It isn't worth talking to an insane actor of a kids show.
"Oh...well, I should eat a pony!"
Rainbow flinches in surprise; that was creepy! As the scene darkness, the mare is heard saying, "And let's not forget the fan favorite though we sometimes hate the real thing..." We now see an onion that has Trixie's face drawn on it on a stand's counter, "Onion Trixie!"
A crowd is heard cheering wildly; one voice screams loudly, "Yahoo! Onion Trixie! Onion Trixie," This goes on for a while.
Rainbow continues typing on her computer, "Yeah, finally, we have to settle with a unknown Applejack with zero experience, a cowboy hat and a weird accent. Things went bad since then."
"Ahem!" A familiar voice heard is snapping angrily. Rainbow turns to see Applejack, glaring angrily while holding her upper forelegs, waving them menacingly as if wanting to fight.
"Oh, new Applejack; what's up?"
"Right now, we gotta need a new Rainbow Dash soon! Yew know 'dat 'de Original Applejack was mah ancestor an' she has passed on generations ago!"
"Oh cool, Original Applejack used to make threats and stories like that. Doesn't sound cool coming from you," Rainbow chuckles; Suddenly Applejack hits the mare four times in the face, before putting her forelegs on her own sides. "Ouch. Okay, okay, Original Applejack used to beat me up senselessly like that. Doesn't sound..." The Earth pony growls as she held up a right hoof menacingly. "Gah! Okay, okay, okay! You win!"
"Good! Now tell 'dese ponies 'dat Ah is 'de original Applejack o' today! Got it?" Applejack demands to Rainbow sternly.
"All right, you're the original Applejack of today!"
Applejack, satisfied, tips her hat while looking at the camera, saying, "Eeyup, 'dat's right, sugar cube!" The background turns orange as the following words appear above and under her, "100% All Original Applejack! If Ah have hands, Ah be sticking in mah armpits if Ah have any right about now!" The mare puts the end of her upper forelegs over her legs as if demonstrating.
We see the camera closing out, encircling Applejack's face with a blue background. An announcer said, "100% All Original Applejack! If she have hands, she be sticking in her armpits if she have any right about now; Errr, right."
We return to the computer with Rainbow typing in, saying, "Of course, we do replace ponies or stuff. Like the new paper for one. Come on, new paper, go ahead and disappoint met." Sure enough, the lame replacement of the original paper comes down with a long 'vvvvvvt', the entire page falls off the screen top with an 'eangt'. "Whoops, yeah, when it comes to disappointing, you never disappoint in doing that!"
We see a field that has graves for the Mayors of Ponyville, including one for 'Onion Mayor of Ponyville, replacing one for 'Mayor of Ponyville IV'.
In a field, Pinkie sighs sadly while kicking a can by her feet. As she kicks it away, Twilight came in, asking, "What's wrong, Pinkie Pie? You look a bit sad."
"Oh, I miss Original Applejack." Pinkie said with a sigh.
"Uh, first the original Applejack died generations ago...and anything of us with her was made up by Rainbow Dash."
"Still, you can't make up an eyesight that good and sees me from over there...and...and her clumsy antics were so funny!"
Pinkie sobs some more, making Twilight stares at her friend flatly. She never could understand that pony.
The End
Author's note
Well, folks, Applejack that we know of is the original one of today. Let's relax. Now in the next chapter/e-mail, Rainbow reveals how to steal other ponies' bikes via some secrets. Read, review and suggest!