Author's note
To Billy Arratoon, I don't know yet. That's a who knows on that part.

Rainbow Dash's E-Mails: the paper

"Oh yeah, check the deck, ponies; Press eject, ponies! It's another e-mail and I'm going to reject y'all!" Rainbow exclaims with a smile as she brings up an e-mail. Today is the one day that will change things for the worst, depending on how you look at it.

Dear Rainbow dash: if you had a broken wing and leg under a log and in the everfree forest and the only one there to help you was Pinkamena would you ask her to help you. like ask her to remove the log of your leg.

Your friend Greenrob.

Rainbow pauses then answers as she explains, "To be honest, if she wasn't trying to give me the brrs, I would ask her for help. I mean, Tank helped me one time even when I called him annoying. Could've left me there but what can I say? She could help me but we'll see; Next e-mail!"

Subject: The Paper...
Dear Rainbowdash,
Is it true that the paper is considered quiting? Could you tell me the best moment that you had with it?
Thanks
Andy Willers
North Coltdgen, U-pony

Rainbow reads the state's name as 'Eeew-pony' then begins to type while saying, "No way, the paper is not quitting, Andy, ya crazy Coltdenite. Why, the paper is at the top of his game, the prime of his time, the cusp of his stuff! Hay, nothing will make me...

Suddenly without warning, something shocking happen: the printer fell right onto Rainbow, causing her to scream in pain as she fell to the floor. The wrecked thing is on the floor as the mare groans, trying to recover from what happened. What's going on?

Rainbow gasps as the printer prints out a sheet with a sickly distorted sound. The words are these, 'rAINBow DDDasH, I tHiNK i'MM rEAlllyy GoinG ta QUIt.' It's official, the paper is at an end.

"No, paper, no," Rainbow screams while shaking her head in disbelief. This cannot be happening! "Why must every one of my 30 year old electric stuff keeps breaking on me?!" First her computers, now the paper is going! It isn't fair!

The paper prints out a very sad sight...more words that said 'wE definitely haDd A goOd RUN, rIGHT daShie'? Rainbow sniffs some tears as to what's happening. She has been hanging with the paper as if like forever.

"Yeah, we sure did, buddy." Rainbow said while sniffing. "Why I remember the day that you were born like it happen in some flashbacks that may or may not happen..." Harp music plays as we go into some flashbacks.

Flashbacks

In some flashbacks, Rainbow, who is filly back in the past, is helping Derpy, same with her with a computer and printer, the goofy mare is trying while the cyan filly exclaims, "Come on, Derpy Stripe! I wanna print out that awesome flank that I made out of hyphens and bits signs!" Derpy nods as she press a key, causing a familiar paper to come out of the paper, "Whoa, awesome! Derpy, did you hear that?!"

The paper came out of the printer with the world 'Preeeeow, Equestria!'. Rainbow grins while saying, "It said 'Preeeeow!' Awesome, I am soooo keeping this!"

Rainbow is heard saying, "Right, and you are always phenomenal over boards on defense."

---

We now see Rainbow, years older, at a stadium. The mare, in a headband, is in front of a basketball loop in hopes to block it from Pinkie Pie, holding a football while wearing kneepads and a purple shirt that reads 'Team Kneepads 15'. The scoreboard nearby has '?' for the Home Town and a '$' for the Visitors."

"Yeah, Pinkie got the ball on top of the key...Dribble, dribble..." Pinkie said as she bounces the football then throws it eagerly. "Yay! She shoots..."

Of course, the paper came from where reading 'Manute Bol' and blocks the shot in front of the hoop. Rainbow, looking up, taunts, "Oooh; so close; Yeah, get that weak flank out of here, yeah!"

"Oooh, geez; I wished that I had a piece of paper that can goes through time and space on my team."

We now see the Cutie Mark Crusaders behind Pinkie Pie, wearing the same shirts except with numbers on them. Scootaloo remarked, "Wow; that was awesome, Rainbow Dash."

"Yeah, I wonder if we could do that." Sweetie said eagerly.

We can hear Rainbow's voice, "Gotta admit, I wasn't crazy about when you had your Goth phase..."

---

In another flashback, Rainbow is in front of her computer as the paper, black version and designed to have bat wings, appears with a purple glow and a drop of blood that slowly drips off. It has the usual text printed in Gothic font but there is trouble reading it.

"Gah; Come on!" Rainbow exclaims in annoyance as she held her hooves up as if ready to fight.

---

In front of the computer, we see Rainbow while hearing her say, "Or perhaps your preppy phase too."

The paper comes down but it is wearing a pink polo shirt with a weird scarf, the shirt has the word 'Tennis' made in it along with an image of a tennis racket. The word 'golf' is seen on the paper itself while Rainbow glance at it, looking embarrassed before looking down.

Rainbow's voice adds, "But no matter what happened, you always made sure to watch out for your siblings." Another drop of blood came from the paper.

---

In another flashback of the paper, Pinkie is seen wrapped up in paper while dangling from the ceiling, a familiar puzzled is on it. The pink pony protest, "Come on, I was trying to pour soda on it..err, wait lemon juice. No, no! I mean Sprite; Fresca; Monkey!"

Rainbow's voice asks excitedly, "And who knows how many times you saved my cyan flank at times?"

---

Rainbow looks horrified; the island that she's on has a hole in it and is sinking like mad. The mare is wearing a bad bandanna and is surrounded by sharks, all of which are reading for her to land into the water so that they could eat her. Rainbow's wings are tired out so she can't fly right now.

"Oh this can't be happening!" Rainbow groans in disbelief and worry, "How could this island be sinking?! I didn't kill any end bosses yet!"

Just when it looks like all is lost, a familiar paper came down, with the text 'Hey, a pretty pony needs a lift'? Rainbow saw the paper and grins excitedly.

"All right, the paper! I thought you were still in Ponygpyangyang! Come on, fly!"

Rainbow jumps up and grabs the paper that reels upward, carrying her friend away from the island, saving her in the nick of time. As they go off into the sunset, we can hear video game music from 'Cloudsdale Population: Tire' playing as the words 'GAME OVER' and 'PROGRAMMERS' appear. After a while, the island sinks completely. It looks like this will last forever, right?

Nnope.

End Flashbacks

Back in the computer room in the present, Rainbow looks down in sadness while sighing.

"Oh, geez...I still can't believe that this is really it." Rainbow said sadly while shaking her head. After so many years, the paper is at its end.

The paper prints out in a dying sound, 'iT's Tiime. YOU kNow WhHat must be dONE.'

"Yeah, I know..." Rainbow said as she pat the printer, while shedding some tears some more. "Well...goodbye, forever my good striped friend..."

Rainbow takes her lighter out and burns it, resulting in ashes that show the final words 'BYE FOLKS'. The mare sighs in sadness, the paper is gone forever...

Rainbow in depressed sang while a spotlight shines down on her, "And the paper goeth into the niiIIiiIIiiIIght!"

---

With the paper now gone, Rainbow calls in Applejack to install a new printer with a new paper. The show must go on so the mare is sitting in front of her computer, ready for some action.

"So how is it coming up there, AJ?" Rainbow asks Applejack while looking up.

Applejack shows a hoof while saying, "Almost done!" We can hear some grunt noises along with some socket wrench ones, "All right, got it!" Rainbow nods as she begins to type.

"All right, new paper, hit us with some Preeow 2.0.!"

Sure enough, the new paper comes down while making shuffling noises. Needless to say, it is different from the one paper that we all know and love. It has a key with an 'at' draw on the left and an envelope that has Rainbow's face on it drawn on the right. The text and graphics on the new paper are slightly striped with white with the 'at' key striped in cyan, yellow and magenta colors on the bottom.

Needless to say, Rainbow isn't impressed as she types in while snapping, "What the hay; How am I supposed to pronounce that garbage?!" The mare made printer noises in attempt, looking annoyed by the new noises. "Heunh heownh heunh heownh vvvvvt eangt clonk-a-donk; Ugh, doesn't seem right. Okay, new paper, consider yourself on trial status so you better get to impressing me!"

The new paper came out some more, printing out some PSCII art flank with hyphens and dollar signs with '(but, a flank)' printed on it. Rainbow roll her eyes while saying, "Yeah, well, that's a start..."

---

We see Pinkie still tangled in the paper in a flashback, singing to the tune of a familiar movie, "The blood is rushing to my head... Blacking out, blacking out, blacking out..." The mare then blacks out.

---

In a stadium, Pinkie bouncing her football, saying, "Dribble dribble, shoot! Dribble dribble, shoot shoot!"

Time Turner appears, "Ooh, dang!" The stallion claps his hooves 4 times. "Ooh, dang!" He does so again.

Rainbow came in, looking annoyed as she said, "Look! We're not doing this again. Look! We're not doing this again." Soon the whole thing came to a stop, the mare yells in annoyance causing her pals to stop, "CELESTIA DANG IT! WE ARE SERIOUSLY REALLY NOT DOING THIS AGAIN!"

The scoreboard changes from '?' to 'G'. The last thing Rainbow wants is to do whatever it is that the ponies did before again.

The End

Author's note
Farewell, paper; you will be missed. Hello, new paper, who knows? In the next chapter/e-mail, we see Ponyville with its own golf course of insanity. Read, review and suggest.