Rainbow Dash's E-Mails: mini-golf

It has been some time since the departure/demise of the paper. Rainbow is now putting up with a new one that doesn't please or impress her at all. Needless to say, the mare moves to reading her e-mails regardless.

"E-mail; I'm so in love with you! It's kind of inappropriate!" Rainbow sang while bringing up the first e-mail of the show.

So Rainbow been thinking ever thought of reforming Discord or Chrysalis ? it's been on my mind for a while you guys saved Nightmare moon turning her back into a filly of Princess Luna so why not reform either Discord or Queen Chrysalis it is a possibility . also somehing else has been on my mind for sometime Diamond Tiara and Silver spoon ever delt with those two you know like done something to them to shut them up for calling AB a 'blank fank' just because they got there cutie marks.

Your's Truely

Adam

Rainbow types in while answering, "Yeah, we did reform Luna and Nyx; As for Discord, not sure though Fluttershy has been talking about it for some time...not sure if that's cool or a dumb idea. As for Chrysalis, I won't ever forgive that witch for tricking us or turning against Twilight; Never. Anyway as far as the Snotty Duo go, I prefer to stay clear of those brats at all times, leaving the foals or Tough Apple to deal with them; Next e-mail!"

Subject: miniature golf course
Hellllooooooo Rainbowdash,
I was wondering if Ponyville or Cloudsdale had a miniature golf course. It would be awesome if either has one.
Hoping to play the Ponyville or Cloudsdale golf course soon,
Somepony no one gives a flank about in IA

Rainbow pronounces the greeting as 'Hell-la-la-la-la-looooo' and say 'Also known as 'Every Pony In I-pony' at the end. The mare types in, asking, "Really; you get paid for every time you say the words 'miniature golf course'? Because I'd miniature golf course would love to get in on that awesome ac-miniature golf-course-tion."

Rainbow clears the screen while continuing, "Of, miniature golf course, course, yours truly sell out for cheap. I usually get..." She types in orange. "Griffin Bowling..." A cha-ching sound of a cash register is heard before Rainbow types normally. "..50 bits every time I..." She then types in red, "That Pony Paintball Place down The Street." Another cha-ching sound is heard. Rainbow types normally once more, "...mention some kind of..." The mare then types in blue, "Canterlot Waterslide Stan's MoistWorld." One more cha-ching sound is heard as the mare types normally. "...an awesome fun-time place."

We see the scorecards from the mentioned places. Just then the new paper comes down, much to Rainbow's annoyance as she snaps, "Hey! No, no, no, not now! Did it sound like I was done?! Get your flank back up there!" It went back up making an 'eang clonky vvvvvt' sound. Rainbow shakes her head; this new paper is getting on her nerves.

The mare clears the screen as she types some more, asking, "Okay, what were we talking about? Oh yeah, mini-golf. To be honest, Ponyville or Cloudsdalle doesn't have a place of its own. So whenever we want to get our tiny golf on, we usually go to…"

---

We see a sign, a familiar theme song plays as Rainbow's voice said, "Amazing Harmony Elements, Puttiaiture Golf-Golf!"

We see a place that looks like something based off of the cartoon Amazing Harmony Elements. There are multiple miniature golf holes scattered around the sign, with one that has the Drive-Thru Manticore and three holes. A hug Luario stood on top of a large golf ball waving a putter while we see three regular golf balls bouncing up and down a piece of turf.

Rainbow's voice explains, "Yeah, this golf place is every bit as messed up as the cartoon that it's based on. Hay, we don't even know how to get there." As we see the three golf balls bouncing up and down, we see the hole to a metal version of Swipe-O lying on the hole with a mouth open. "It would be like one minute you're thinking about the miniature golf stuff..."

---

The Mane and Spike are on the couch in the library, doing some talking while the baby dragon is flipping channels. Rainbow remarks, "You ponies want to know what I love?"

"No, what," Pinkie ask Rainbow curiously.

"The smell of the putter's rubber handle that you know like a thousand other..." Without warning, the audio track begins to slow way down. "...ponies have touched..."

We fade to black as Rainbow's voice say, "...and without warning, you're there."

---

Suddenly the Mane Six and Spike yelps they arrive on the golf course itself. The Mane Six exclaims at once, "Whoa!"

"This is cool!" Spike exclaims in amazement and eagerness.

"Wow, that's weird." Twilight said as she and her friends look around, the purple unicorn scratch the back of her head. "I guess we should get a golf club, the usual golf balls and begin playing."

"Your descent into madness begins on the first hole." Rainbow's voice explains as we see Derpy standing in a circular piece of turf while holding the putter with her mouth. A sign nearby reads 'Par 2010' with her golf ball near her hooves. The metal version of Swipe-O is nearby, "The Rabbit Hole."

Derpy putts the ball towards the hole but then it moves to the right much to the pony's surprise. Bugsie came out of the hole, snapping as the words he says comes out of his mouth, "Get your own hole, pony!"

Bugsie then bites into the golf ball, the other end came out of the ball while biting the first. It then travels in a circle down the hole and back up out of the ball. Derpy blinks as she tries to contemplate what has happened.

"Hmmm, I say that's a birdie." Derpy said goofily as she bends over and squint at the rabbits before straightened up, "Yeah, definitely one." The crossed-eye Pegasus pony bends over while squinting two more times.

"Things calm down a little bit for the..." Rainbow's voice said as we saw a sign that said 'It's A Next Hole Luario'. The mare imitates Luario,"...It's A Next Hole Luario..." She then goes into her normal voice. "...hole."

Now we see a hole that has Luario moving his mouth up and down, revealing the said hole each time while making a quiet noise every time it opens and close. The turf has a hill that goes up and backwards. As the rest of the Mane Six and Spike watch, Fluttershy is at the starting mat, preparing to putt while not noticing Derpy examining the loop of rabbits.

Fluttershy prepares to putt but then a hoof that looks like Rainbow's reach in and taps her on the shoulder, making her ask, "Huh?"

The Mane Six and Spike saw Disc Burner Headed Rainbow with a putter; she is playing demo music and jumping up and down in annoyance. It's obvious that the heroes got in front of her by mistake and it was her turn, making the duplicate upset.

"Geez, okay, sorry! We didn't know that it was your turn, okay?" Rainbow snaps to the Disc Burner Headed version of herself in annoyance. "No need to play the whole demo to Fluttershy!"

"Honestly, some ponies even lookalikes of Rainbow Dash." Rarity remarks with a scoff.

Fluttershy moves aside to allow the Disc Burner Headed Rainbow to take her turn as she putts a hole in one. The real one voice's said, "And of course, if you sink the putt, the reward you get is an awesome heavenly sound."

"It's-a me, Luario!" Luario is heard moving excitedly.

A title nearby opens up to reveal Ashleigh who shouts, "Roody roo roo and a froody frooo," The title closes once more. Most of the Mane Six doesn't even want to know what that means.

The screen dims as Rainbow's voice said, "I won't lie. This place isn't above some of the usual mini-golf transgressions though." We see a white statue of Ashleigh that has a sign that said 'Statch'. "Like the infamous 'statue hole'."

Spike is holding a putter as he and the mares stood at the hole's beginning. Rainbow frowns as she flatly say in sarcasm, "Oh no, Spike, watch out. There is a statue of a pony dummy outside the field of play...several feet away," Crickets sounds are heard. "Oh yeah, not moving at all...just stating. Hey, also, the hole is about one foot away from the tee."

Sure enough, there's the hole not too far away. Rainbow continues speaking what she's saying, asking, "Oh wow, isn't that so much, almost, fun to take?"

Spike putts the ball...and miss. Applejack remarks, "More like too easy 'fer 'dat much."

"Oh yes, even in this infernal place, you can't escape..." Rainbow's voice said as we see a shot of Huge Al that has water coming out of its mouth before we zoom out to reveal a hole with a bridge over the lake. There are bumps in the course that kept appearing and disappearing at random along with a sign that said 'Par 2O'. "...'the blue family recreation water'. Ugh, that stuff is practically begging foals to drink it, pee in it..."

One ball is putted across the course and stops near the bumps; one of them appears under the ball and sending it into the water. Rainbow is heard saying in disgust, "...or worse...booooooooooooth." On the right side, black letters crawl down into the lake forming the word 'BOTH' while making a cloud of blackness into the water.

Derpy came out of the water, slightly tinged blue while saying, "Yahoo! Didn't finds my ball but I did see some exotic marine life!"

Fluttershy coming up, looking uneasy as she said, "Derpy, there's nothing down there but cigarette butts."

"Yep and a bra!"

Derpy held up some sort of brassiere, making Rainbow grins and gave a hoofs up sign, exclaiming, "Oh yeah!"

Caramel meanwhile is at a circular hole with a rock wall with a sign that said 'Par something'. The pony is holding the putter as she concentrates on a red golf ball near his hooves. Rainbow's voice explains, "Now the 18th hole definitely put a twist on the standard bottomless-hole-that-takes-your-golf-ball-away-for-all-time kinda hole."

Sure enough, we see that the course is in the middle of space. Caramel putts his ball into the hole causing it to fall into the space...until it returns, hitting the stallions off the head before landing near his hooves again.

"Huh. I guess I forgot to port." Caramel said dumbstruck, unaware of what really happened. The pony putts the ball into the hole, causing it to disappear before falling off his head again, bouncing off and landing near his hooves once more. "Oh! I must've forgotten to prat!" Caramel putts once more, but the cycle repeats. "Ugh! Forgot to do...something," He kept putting and the cycle kept happening.

"The only way this will go on forever if you allow it too. In fact, we found a way to leave the Amazing Harmony Elements is to will ourselves back into reality." Rainbow's voice explains as the ponies and Spike came from opposite sides, ready to go back.

The Mane Six and Spike begins scrunching their faces and grunt...

---

...And soon the gang find themselves back in the library as before as if nothing happened. Rainbow speaks backward while Spike exclaims in surprise, "Whoa!"

"Hey, we're back." Applejack said while looking around. "Creepy!"

Rainbow shakes her head, smacking her lips while saying, "Whoa! That was weird. My mouth tastes like backwards or something."

"Yeah, my mouth feels something all right." Pinkie said while smacking her lips.

"Weird, my mouth feels like weird blue water." Spike said while smacking his own lips.

"Wait, your lips feels like what now?" Rainbow asks Spike, getting a bit uncomfortable. Sure enough, the baby dragon opens his mouth showing that his teeth is now dyed blue...like the water back at the golf course. "Ugh, Spike! You didn't!"

"Sorry, the water tasted so good!"

"Eeeeew," The Mane Six exclaims to Spike in disgust. Their friend has drank the blue water! Gross!

The new paper comes down, bringing this chapter/e-mail to an end. Rainbow remarks, "There you go, see? That was a punch line. And another thing, are you ever not running out of ink?"

"The old paper was better." Twilight remarks dryly. Even the purple mare can't stand the new paper.

---

At the golf course, Rainbow is arguing with the Drive-Thru Manticore that is on a green with no hole with a sign that said 'Par, please'. The mare snaps in annoyance, "Come on, the hole. Where is the hole?"

"Pour gravel on your stump, miss." The Drive-Thru Manticore said, much to Rainbow's confusion.

"Wait, did you tell my mom to pour gravel on her stump?"

"Cave your brown."

"Cave my brown? Princess, that's you, right?" Rainbow asks in annoyance thinking that Celestia is speaking through the Drive-Thru Manticore to troll her.

Suddenly Celestia flew by, making Rainbow look at her as she say, "Not this time, my faithful student's friend!"

The End

Author's note
Looks like a crazy golf course, ain't it? In the next chapter/e-mail, Rainbow recalls how a lame band became one of her favorite...and now his least favorite...bands of all time. Read, review and suggest.