Rainbow Dash's E-Mails: the movies

Rainbow is at it once again, bringing up the first e-mail of her show as she sings, "Caramel is not that cool; here comes an email."

Rainbow Dash ,In many fanfics what do you think of Trixie or 'The Great and Powerful Trixie' . Also if you found her out in the rain one night huddled under a tree scrawny underweight and malnourshed would you leave her to die or would you rush into the rain and take her in warm her up and let her get some sleep? I already know that your the element of Loyalty also what would happen if you were to bump into Paradise or Sparkler Rarities ancester ? now then one last Question . Is Princess Celestia getting parioid afraid that somepony will take the throne?

Your's Truely ,
Adam

Rainbow pauses to think then answers while typing, "Adam, buddy, while me and Trixie aren't actually the best of friends, I would at least get her help in some way. I mean, I ain't that type of jerk to refuse that. As for Paradise or Sparkler, that's an even good question. I will need to figure that one out later. And no, the princess isn't getting 'paranoid' though she has some critics who want her gone; next e-mail!"

Subject: movie

Dear Rainbow Dash,
I was at the movies last night and this annoying will filly that sits behind me will not shut up at all; have you ever deal with something like this?
Rob
Franklin TN

Rainbow reads the name and address as 'a pony named Rob, from the city of Franklin, in the state of Tennessee'. The mare smirks to Twilight who is nearby while saying, "Ha; told ya I could do it, egghead."

"Yeah, whatever," Twilight said while rolling her eyes at this. First time Rainbow chose not to make fun of an e-mailer's name for once. The Pegasus pony begins typing.

"Well, Robreme, I feel ya big time. Luckily for some ponies, they make ya turn your bazookas off before the movies begin or every one of my theater going experiences would end in one smoldering crater fashion."

---

In the lobby of a movie theater in Ponyville, the Mane Six came into the place to see a movie. We see posters for Dasheresque 3 and King Timegonzola Supreme in the background. Granny Smith, working on a co-job as a usher, is there waiting.

Rainbow's voice continues, "The experience starts out promising at first..."

"Good evening, ponies." Granny Smith mumbles as she takes the tickets while tearing them. "Your movie is forty-two will be on your left."

"Yeah, okay, Granny," Applejack remarks with a nod.

"Ha, just you watch, girls." Rainbow said to her friends with a smirk. "One of these days, I will be tearing tickets and telling ponies that forty-two will be on their left."

"Honestly, you must be very old to work here." Rarity commented causing Granny Smith to grunt a bit. "Err, no offense, Granny Smith."

---

The Mane Six, after getting their snacks and beverages, arrive at their theater to watch the movie. Caramel is in front of them in another row, watching as he fidgets and thinks a bit.

Rainbow's voice said, "First off, it begins with the smart pony who can't resist answering the so-called challenging film trivia slides that they show before the movie."

"Wait, wait, I know this one, I do!" Caramel exclaims excitedly. "The Rat Pack...err, pan and scan! Spencer Pony!"

"Will you keep it down? We're trying to watch this!" Rarity snaps to Caramel impatiently.

"Yeah, real impressive, Coltbert," Rainbow remarks sarcastically to Caramel, "Even though we have only saw this slide 10 times since we sat down."

"If you answered 'B', you are ready for film school." An announcer said much to Caramel's dismay.

"Oh man! It was ice cold refreshment!" Caramel said in dismay while hitting himself; We see the screen that shows this.

MOVIE & REFRESHMENT TRIVIA*

The correct answer was
B: Ice Cold Refreshment

*OKAY, IT'S JUST REFRESHMENT TRIVIA; WHATCHA GONG TO DO?

"Ugh, why didn't I know this before?" Caramel asks with a sigh.

"Maybe because yew is scatter-brained, Caramel." Applejack jokes a bit while eating some of her peanut candy.

We see another slide that has a picture with a bazooka with six tally marks on it which is labeled, 'Try To Be Considerate, Because Who Wants To Watch A Smoldering Crater?' The announcer said, "Try to be consider of others. Turn your bazookas off before the program."

Rainbow's voice spoke on, "Yeah, and when the movie starts, let's not forget the one pony who insists on explaining the complete filmographies of the actors in this film."

Sure enough, we see Twilight sitting next to Minuette. In the movie, someone is heard saying, "...but when I came back, the DNA evidence was missing!"

Minuette grins and points to the screen while saying, "Ooh, that stallion had a cameo as Stevemore #2 in the prequel and was in that car commercial with the wisecracking transmission; plus, he has a Daisy number of 4! The mare held up all hooves to prove her point.

"Honestly, do we need to hear that?" Twilight ask Minuette dryly.

Even Rainbow is annoyed as she got up and turns back to Minuette, holding a raised hoof while snapping, "And this here is my HOOF FIST! You probably remember it from Bloodied Pulp, the awesome amazingly true story of your face in 5 seconds!"

Rainbow sat back down as if she has proven her point...but Minuette comments while pointing to her, "Say; she was in Dasheresque 1 and 2!"

Pinkie Pie ate popcorn loudly, making Rainbow roll her eyes as we can hear her voice over, "Yeah, and if you think the pony sitting next to you eating popcorn loudly was bad enough, how about going to going to a theater where ponies often sneak in their own food."

Rainbow turns to Pinkie's direction and saw the Mayor holding a frying pan that has some fried flowers in it with a stack of similar pans in the seat beside her. Upon seeing the Pegasus pony's glare, she protest, "What, what? This was in my box of Milk Duds!" We see the Mayor's assistants behind her, playing instruments in a Mariachi melody.

"And of course, that brings to the little filly behind myself who won't shut up at all."

We see that the filly in question is Derpy, sitting in the previous row and wearing a Viking helmet while singing, "Ever and more; Ever and more; Ever and more!"

"Uh, Derpy? Mind quieting down; we must watch this." Fluttershy said to Derpy meekly.

"Yeah, this pony is the kind that talks to the movies. But not in the usual..." Rainbow's voice said as Derpy mouth what she's saying, "'Wait, don't go in there!' or..." The goofy pony mouths her words again, "'Oh no, he didn't' and all that. Nope, this kind of filly just likes to make small talk with the characters, chit chattering."

Later in the film, Derpy is in her seat with the Viking helmet in the next seat to her. A movie character comments, "I figure out their plan."

"Yeah, I figure I could cut up some iceberg lettuce, throw some tomatoes in there, perhaps a little Catalina. Nothing fancy, yeah." Derpy said happily. A while later in the film again, the goofy Pegasus pony is lying on her seat with her head resting on the helmet. "Wow, have you ever been to a ground breaking? What are those things' points?"

"Derpy," Rarity said to Derpy sternly. But a while later some more, the goofy pony is upside down on her seat, her legs are in the air.

"Hey, you know where the real bits are at? Phone books! Yahoo," Derpy exclaims happily as she shakes her legs. Now a while later once again, we see her sitting up normally. "I wonder how you spell tabasco." The mare stood up, "TABASCOooo!"

Rainbow has had enough. She stood up and turns around while yelling, "Argh! What is wrong with you ponies?! Do you not even see the giant movie over here?! I mean, are all the local sit down and stink out loud places closed?!"

"Now calm down, sugar cube," Applejack said to Rainbow in concern. "Derpy means nothing."

"No I won't be calm! Oh, that is it!" Rainbow scowls as she grabs a bazooka and held it next to her head like a cellphone, doing a ringtone. "Oh, di-a-lo-do, da-a-lo-do, di-a-lo-do, die!"

The ponies around the area, even Rainbow's friends, scream as they run off. The cyan Pegasus pony lowers the bazooka and opens fire, causing a huge explosion.

---

In the computer room, Rainbow types in while saying, "Yeah, that's why I am banned from the movies. At least until I paid off for the explosion, not bring my bazooka anymore and sit in the balcony all by myself. But who cares, right? I brought my own movie viewing to the next digital age! And yours truly really dig it all! Check it out!"

Rainbow grins as she runs 'karatecar dot exe' on her computer. This causes some sort of ASCII art movie to begin that shows a stick pony trotting through the streets, there are buildings in the backgrounds with a car driving across. The stick pony jumps and does a somersault to avoid the vehicle in time.

"Oh yeah, look out, Mister Slashy Pony! Oh, something cool is happening." Rainbow said quietly. The stick pony says 'Cool, that's a sports car'. He does some karate moving while shouting 'HI-YA!' "Oh horse feathers, I'm talking through this movie. I'm a hypocrite so I will shut up now."

The paper comes down as the chapter/e-mail comes to an end.

---

In the crater which used to be the movie theater, Derpy is still in her seat, with a frame of a movie poster protruding from the crater side. Not realizing that the theater is done and there's no film, the goofy mare smiles as she said, "Wow, this movie has it all; Cinema never Luked so Wilson!"

---

We see a film trivia screen...

MOVIE & REFRESHMENT TRIVIA*
What can you get at the concession
stand for 10 bits, 10 bits or 13 bits?
A. Luke Wilson.
B. 16:9 Anamorephic.
C. Hot, Very Hot Buttery Popcorn
D. 'Battleship Ponyemkin
*OKAY, IT'S JUST REFRESHMENT TRIVIA. WHATCHA GONG TO DO?

The End

Author's note
Well, Rainbow won't be going to the movies for a long time, I guess. In the next chapter/e-mail, the Pegasus pony makes plans for her funeral. Read, review and suggest.