Rainbow Dash's E-Mails: Season Three
Chapter 48: 48. unnatural
Previous Chapter Next ChapterAuthor's note
After one big delay, Rainbow Dash's E-Mails is back. Ready for some fun; I hope so!
Rainbow Dash's E-Mails: unnatural
"I am the one and only Rainbow Dash and I am way too cool to make a 'I approve of this e-mail' joke." Rainbow remarks as she brings up the first e-mail of the show on her computer.
Rainbowdash...
Three words... GET A LIFE.
Oh and do you like bacon?
lavender
Rainbow roll her eyes as she types in an answer, "Ugh, I can't stand e-mails like this. Also, bacon; I ain't a cannibal, buddy. I am a pony. If you want cannibal ponies, read grimdark stuff...or don't. Trust me; Next e-mail!"
Subject: storms
Hey there Dashie,
What's up, my main mare? I was wondering, does Equestria has any natural disasters, just as hurricanes 'n stuff?
Rainbow enunciates some parts while reading the lack of a name as 'From, NoPony'. The mare dodges while remarking, "Whoa, hay! Watch where you're throwing those words around, nopony! You could hurt somepony...maybe even yourself!" The mare turns away from her computer as quiet music plays. She speaks as if giving a public service announcement. "Hey there, I'm just a regular Rainbow Dash. If you or a pony you love is somepony who throws words, please call our hot free number."
Rainbow waves a hoof as the number appears in yellow letting before she adds, "Or just give them a Charlie Horse...and he will deal with that person right away." The mare goes back to her computer as she adds, "All right, as for H.P. Hurricanenstuff, yeah, we have deal with disaster from monsters to snow storms to evil villains, but mainly the ones we got is decidedly UNnatural of sorts." We see a poster for 'The Perfectly Crazy World of H.P. Hurricanenstuff' that shows a Pinkie Pie Puppet that resembles H.R. Pufnstuf.
In Cloudsdale, Rainbow is having a party with the Cutie Mark Crusaders, grinning as the mare say, "...and of course, that's how yours truly has tampered with the DNA evidence."
"Whoa, I'm surprised that you got away with it!" Scootaloo exclaims with a grin.
"Yeah, shucks, if Ah done don't know better..." Apple Bloom was cut off as the whole area shakes with the table bouncing as the dish clatters, "Great horny toads!"
"Whoa!" Rainbow exclaims in alarm as the area shakes a second time, "What the hay?!"
"What's going on," Sweetie screams as the area shakes a third time. "Are we in a disaster?!"
"Whoa, looks like the Mayor is having a Mega Physical again and..."
Suddenly the four ponies screams as a huge brown hoof came from of nowhere and smashes onto the ground near Cloudsdale, destroying a section of a fence and send stuff flying. Rainbow and Scootaloo screams while Apple Bloom exclaims, "Yikes! What 'de hay is 'dat?!"
We hear Japanese music playing as we see that the foot belongs to a giant...Time Turner dubbed 'King Timegonzola Supreme'. We can even hear the singers, "King Timegonzola! King- King Timegonzola, Supreme!"
Time Turner roars madly as Scootaloo screams, "What's going on?!"
"Yikes! It's a giant Time Turner from outer space!" Rainbow screams terrified. "Or maybe he's mutated by chaos...or he came from the depths of the ocean! Or worst...Time Turner is flushed down the toilet!"
Pinkie Pie appears a few feet from Time Turner's giant hoof, exclaiming, "Horsecrap! Time Turner has turned us into ants! That fortune cookie must've known what he's talking about! Come on, we gotta steal some cake from that picnic table over there!" We see a fortune cookie that said this...
Time Turner is going to turn you ALL
of you ponies into ants!
Pinkie runs off as Time Turner continues stomping very crushing step, heading to the Mayor's mansion. Japanese music continues as the giant stallion roars like mad.
The Mayor meanwhile is sitting at a table inside her mansion...taking some bites out of the table. Suddenly the ceiling begins to fall as a concerned Mayor exclaims, "Whoa, yikes! What, am I getting my mega physical?!"
At a 'Free Arts Classes for Background Ponies' seminar, Fluttershy is painting a picture of an apple and a tree. Caramel right now is painting a yellow bar of soap with the word 'Applejack' on it. We can hear Asian music and Time Turner's footsteps as this happens.
"See, what did I tell you? The apple isn't giant, only in the foreground." Fluttershy assures Caramel with a smile. Without warning though, Time Turner's giant hoof kicks the sign and Caramel's painting away. The small stallion screams in fear as he runs away. The giant one roars madly though Fluttershy doesn't seem fazed. "See? Even Time Turner's hoof isn't a giant hoof, just in the foreground."
Rainbow continues typing as her computer as he explains, "Things are grim, especially since we can't contact the princesses. So we called an emergency town meeting. We needed an organized forum for ponies to shout out their ideas at the same time and see which one will work!"
At the town meeting, the ponies discuss how to resolve the problem with the giant Time Turner. Rainbow exclaims, "We must kill it, yeah, we gotta kill it!"
"We can't, we should try and understand this creature!" Twilight exclaims in concern. "He could be a friend that we have to help!"
"We have to destroy it or he will go on a rampage like I did!" Spike calls out with an angry tone of voice.
"How about we run a picket fence at the pony," Lyra suggests eagerly, much to Bon-Bon's annoyance.
"Come on, It's in the foreground, ponies, the foreground!" Fluttershy insists to the ponies making the suggestions, odd or whatever.
"We must take it down! Cutie Mark Monster Destroyers! Yay," The Cutie Mark Crusaders exclaims in determination.
"We gotta protect the princess! I got six legs!" Pinkie yells out over the noise as usual.
Rainbow roll her eyes as she continues speaking sarcastically at the computer, "Of course, then our library egghead had it all figured out."
Sure enough, Twilight stands near a chalkboard and boom box, figuring out a way to steal with the giant Time Turner. The purple unicorn explains, "You see, I knew we have to try to understand this poor creature. I took the liberty of recording his roars and played them back at high speed. Check out my extremely scientific findings. And don't laugh!"
Twilight uses her magic to press play; we can hear Time Turner roaring. The mare press fast-forward to allow everyone to hear a slightly faster roar. Twilight press fast-forward, soon we can hear Time Turner speaking slightly faster and semi-coherent, "Muffins!" She smiles as the mare press fast forward. "Don't touch my muffins!"
Twilight presses stop to explain, "Apparently, I think there's something in the muffins that Time Turner has eaten that transformed him. He's trying to warn us about..."
"All right, all right, cut to the chase, egghead!" Rainbow snaps to Twilight impatiently. "Any way we can kill it?"
"We can't kill Time Turner, he's a friend. Luckily, I was able to make an anti-muffin in the lab...which is actually a bowl of noodles." Twilight uses her magic to hold up the bowl. "It's kinda like muffins, so to speak."
Drums plays, this could be the way to stop Time Turner once and for all...
Lyra quickly work on a catapult with Bon-Bon and Applejack's help. Spike, the Cutie Mark Crusaders, Fluttershy, Rainbow, Twilight and Caramel are now ready to operate the thing. Time Turner has arrived so it's now or never!
Applejack activates the catapult, sending some noodles right into Time Turner's mouth...and it connects! The stallion is swallowing the stuff like mad. It's working! Time Turner is roaring as he begins to shrink back to his normal size until the stallion can say, "...don't eat my muffins!"
"We know, we know!" Caramel exclaims to Time Turner with a grin. "The muffins are the reason why you grew into a giant in the first place!"
"What? No, that isn't what I meant!"
"Huh? So why did you told us not to eat your muffins?" Rainbow asks Time Turner in surprise and confusion. If the muffins didn't transformed Time Turner, why is he telling ponies not to eat them?
Time Turner laughs as he explains, "They are a gift to me from Derpy of course! Plus, they are good!"
"So how did you grow into a giant in the first place?" Fluttershy ask Time Turner, puzzled as to how her friend transformed into a giant in the first place.
"Oh, that. Kinda embarrassing; I was shaving my coat when I accidentally flushed myself down the toilet...and unfortunately, I dumped my chemicals that were dangerous down it. Bad mistake there."
"Hang on, you shaved?" Rainbow asks Time Turner in confusion.
"You got a toilet?" Lyra asks Time Turner in amazement as she leans to him. "I thought we have to take a horse crap on the grass!"
"Don't be a Lauren Faust, Lyra!" Bon-Bon snaps to Lyra in annoyance.
Pinkie runs up with a bitten leaf on her head, exclaiming, "Come on, we got to jump in some pony's pants! Ponies, single file," The pink pony drops the leaf as she marches off, "1, 2, 3, 4, up!"
The ponies stare after Pinkie. She is so random. Time Turner shrugs as he said, "Well, better mosey on."
As we see some sort of island, Japanese music plays with the singers singing with Time Turner walking out to sea, "King Timegonzola! King-King Timegonzola, Supreme!" As we fade to black, we see a Neighponese symbol in gold.
"Of course, Equestrians are strong peoples. We will recover, rebuild, reduce, reuse and recycle!" Rainbow exclaims with a smile back at her computer. The paper comes down, bringing this e-mail/chapter to a close. After a while, the Pegasus pony adds, "Also, we will be kind. We will rewind!"
We see a movie poster for King Timegonzola Supreme.
A while later, Rainbow does best best to flush herself down the toilet as the CMC watch on; The mare spins around in it grinning until the thing comes to a stop.
"Hey try it again! I think I'm mutating for a moment!" Rainbow exclaims to the fillies excitedly.
"Sure thing, Rainbow Dash," Scootaloo giggled as she flushes the toilet once more, causing Rainbow to spin around some more.
"Wheeeeeee!"
After the mutating has failed, Rainbow frowns as she glances at Fluttershy near a recycling box. The yellow mare insists, "No, Rainbow Stuff. I heard you say it."
"Come on, I was only saying stuff that starts with R-E." Rainbow protests to Fluttershy. Her friend wants her to recycle for saying the word 'recycle' as if she cares.
"Sorry, don't care. You said it so let me see your cans."
"My what?!"
The End
Author's note
And that's the unnatural disaster, folks as well as some weirdness added in. In the next chapter/e-mail, we go to the movies and see how Rainbow deals with annoying ponies who goes there. Read, review and suggest!