Rainbow Dash's E-Mails: the chair

''A-just scrape some email off the top, and I'll help you out toniiiight!'' Rainbow sang as she begins checking up an e-mail on her computer and sees what questions that she herself has gotten today.

Well Rainbow so you ready for the new year? i know i am anyway though see ya in 2013 Dash . Anyway though ever attemped to cook pasta? but either way just wanted to wish you a happy new year . Ever thought of doing your own news show? it would kinda help

Youres Truely,
Adam

Rainbow pauses then types in while saying, ''A few days late, Adam, as it is the New Year already, but thanks anyway. Now then, I don't cook much so I wouldn't know. And if you checked out a lot of e-mails ago, you would know that I got a news show...of sorts; Next e-mail!''

Subject: the chair.
D to the ear Rainbow Dash,
No offense but I think that chair you got doesn't look comfortable at all. When are you ever going to get a new, less hardwood, big office manager-style comfortabe and cool computer chair?
Yours truely,
Pete, PA

Rainbow pronounce 'D to the ear' as 'Duh to the ear' and anything else in a funny way, especially the mare saying 'Pete, PA' as 'Pete and Pa'.

''Ah, a father-son e-mail picnic!'' Rainbow exclaims with a smile. The mare begins to type, ''Y to the ou doesn't know what you're talking about, Petekiowski. Why, Satty here is one flank's hunky dream, so cottony squish and pillowy fresh.'' The mare jumps off the stool as if to prove her point. ''Why, check it out n...WHOA!''

The reason Rainbow say that is because the seat is now filthy with the word 'STINKS' seeping out at some spots. Rainbow said, ''Horse feathers, this baby have been updated to stinks...'' A fade fades into the seat of the stool, coughing. ''Gah! Okay, maybe I guess it is time for the re-imagining of my e-mail checking chair.''

''Oh, I need a lozenge pronto...'' Satty groans a bit while coughing like mad. Yep, time for a new chair all right.

---

Rainbow heads over to the place where she can get a new chair: Time Turner's place. The stallion was at work as the mare arrives, calling out, "Yo, Time Turner!''

''Hey, customer, what can I do you for?'' Time Turner ask Rainbow Dash with a grin.

''Any chance you got anything that I can sit on while I check e-mails? I need a new one.''

''Luckily for you, I just got this.'' Time Turner said as he put a box onto the country. ''This pre-owned of Foals' Jacks that just came in, right now!''

''Okay, okay...but got anything that doesn't get my flank hurty for a week?'' Rainbow asks Time Turner uneasily, wanting a better option than the box.

''Well, I do got this Winged Elephant album.'' Time Tuner suggests while holding up a record case, offering it to Rainbow.

''Hmmm, yeah, that is less hurty...but what I'm looking for is a chair of some kind.''

''Ahhh! In that case, take a step right into my laboratory, I got some of the latest in stock!''

Time Turner leaves the counter and opens the door to allow Rainbow into his lab. Inside the place, the mare trots around then a portion of a wall fall outward, revealing a conveyor belt. She saw Time Turner riding on it while standing on the belt on one hoof.

''Zzzzziiiiiiiiip,'' Time Turner booms while jumping off the conveyor belt. ''Yes, madam, this isn't the 30th Century yet, we will start at the tip and work our way to the tup.''

''Hay, Time Turner, you make less sense any day.'' Rainbow remarks to Time Turner on how the Doctor seems to make sense nowadays.

''Boomabunga!''

The wall flips up and falls down again. There is something on a conveyor belt...some sort of Rainbow Striped seat on a conveyor belt. Needless to say, Rainbow herself isn't impressed as she recognizes it right away.

''Whoa, whoa, whoa! This isn't a chair, that's Rainbow Seat, my one bicycle seat!'' Rainbow exclaims in annoyance as she inspects the seat closely. We now see a film-project of the mare as a filly riding the bicycle seat on her bicycle outside a porch. ''I used to ride that thing during the paper route all the time!''

Sure enough, we see Rainbow happily firing a newspaper on fire with a lighter while throwing it at the house. As it bounces off the door, it begins to emit smoke making the mare laugh a bit. She is too young to understand though.

In the present, Rainbow shakes her head while remarking, "Forget it, I'm passing on that. I already have a few wipeouts on that thing as a foal and some complaints from the folks of Cloudsdale which almost got me grounded...literally.''

''Geez, Rainbow, you are just a brat sometimes.'' Time Turner mumbles to himself while shaking his head.

''Excuse me?''

Time Turner quickly causes the wall to rise again; it fell down with a chair that is shaped like Derpy Hooves falling onto the belt now.

''Time Turner, what gave you the pony picking idea that I want to check my e-mails on chair shaped like Derpy?'' Rainbow asks Time Turner skeptically.

''Come on, give it a try, you may find that sh...err, I mean it won't mind.'' Time Turner said with a smile on his face, insisting to the mare to try the chair to see if it works.

Rainbow was skeptic at first but did as Time Turner insisted. The mare jumps onto it...causing Derpy to yelp out, ''Ouch!''

''Gah,'' Rainbow yelps in alarm as she flew out of the chair in fright. That chair sounds like it's alive...and is really Derpy!

''Oops, seen enough of that one!'' Time Turner yelps as he quickly causes the wall to rise and falls, this time showing a weird gray lump that is supposed to look like a chair.

''Whoa, your snow pony died.''

''This isn't a snowman! This here is a Dacolt Largo original!'' Time Turner exclaims as we see a logo for Styleron Equestrianchair, along with the poster of the designer, "The Styleron Equestrianchair!''

''No offense but I don't really care for this kind of chair.'' Rainbow said to Time Turner with a frown. ''I got no need for a giant albino whiny thing!''

''Come on, always a hit at parties...''

''Time Turner, gimme a break here! Don't you got anything more...I don't know...executive; One chair that can scare my underlings and eliminate those who are my overlings!''

''Well, luckily for you, I just got this pre-owned...'' Time Turner said as he made the wall fall again, showing a familiar box of Foals' Jacks.

''Not a box of Foals' Jacks!'' Rainbow scowls angrily causing the conveyor belt to rise up immediately.

''Oh, Right. In that case, behold!'' Time Turner exclaims with a smile. The conveyor belt falls once more...to Rainbow's amazement and joy, a large leather chair rolls out which obscure her from sight, it glows as a chorus sounds briefly. We see a golden ''Le Liontige' plaque appearing briefly, 'Le Liontige!''

''Holy...Equestria! Style and awesomeness! Please tell me that leather is Griffin, come on! Tell me!''

''Crab apples!''

Rainbow chose to ignore Time Turner's comment; she is so going to enjoy this! The mare sat in the chair while asking, ''So Time, buddy, what kind of options does this foal baby has?''

''If its options you want, then you will love this!'' Time Turner exclaims as he opens a compartment in the arm rest. It reveals a red button that the stallion press causing a buzzing sound to be heard. A pair of metallic arms came out from behind Rainbow, putting a pair of gray sweatpants onto her.

''Whoa...awesome! A sweatpants button! And thus begins my huge rise to the top of the pony ruler ladder. Now let's see how well this chair checks e-mails!''

---

And thus, Rainbow brought the chair to her home, putting it right in front of her computer. The mare begins checking her e-mails...or at least we think so because the Le Liontige is taking up nearly the whole screen.

Rainbow doesn't seem to notice as she is bringing up an e-mail, singing, ''Hey, hey, hey; it's e-mail.'' The mare brings up an e-mail...which is almost completely obsured by the chair which she begins to read. '''Dear Rainbow, how come you never take your mane off your head?'"'

Rainbow begins to type while saying, ''Buddy, my mane isn't a wig, it's part of my head...but I guess I could give it a shot.'' The mare then pulls on her mane a bit...until it comes ripping off, with her screaming as she wave the mane above the chair for a seconds. Rainbow put the mane back on barely, groaning some more. ''Ugh, I will not do that again ever! Got to make a point to ask Twilight to magically recover my mane or ask Rarity for some mane restorer. Also, here is a picture of my parents if you ever wanted to ask.''

Rainbow shows a photo, though only the corner is visible and we can see the words 'nice try, dorko'. The mare then say, ''Okay, time for me to unwind with a pair of awesome executive sweatpants,'' The mare opens the compartment and pushes the button, expecting another pair of sweatpants. The buzzing sound is heard...but suddenly the metallic arms that appear got out of control, piling sweatpants on her like mad. ''What the hay?! Hey, what's going on here; Uh; WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!''

Rainbow ends up being tossed into the air, falling down with a bunch of layered sweatpants on all of her legs with another on her head. She groans, ''Ugh, so many...sweatpants...can't feel my parts...''

Rainbow decides that it's best to go back to the stool after all especially as the paper comes down, bringing this e-mail/chapter to a close.

---

In Fluttershy's cottage, the mare is trying to balance as she tries to sit in the Equestrianchair, the poster for it is on the wall behind her.

''Whoa, whoa, whoa, eeek,'' Fluttershy yelps as she falls backward, appearing to hurt herself. ''Oh dear, can't feel myself...''

The End

Author's note
Sorry to you Fluttershy pants. Anyway, perhaps the stool is best for Rainbow Dash, eh? In the next chapter/e-mail, the cyan Pegasus pony reveals not only what she wants for Hearth's Warming Eve but what the mare doesn't want. Read, review and suggest.