Rainbow Dash's E-Mails: coloring

Rainbow begins typing in to bring up her newest e-mail while singing once more, "Sippin' on a bottle of email, cold, having a picnic lunch with some co-workers."

well Rainbow its Christmas Eve here and Santa is already delivering presents anyway though think you can tell me what you get when you open your presents RD? I'd like to know also what you think of the sequel to My Little AJ known as My Little AJ II its pretty good so far AJ has regained her memories about her human parents which explains your situation RD well at least i think so .

Your's truely

Adam

Rainbow blinks then types in while saying, "Must be an old e-mail because Christmas or Hearth's Warming Eve is probably done by now. Anyway, if you must know, I got some Wonderbolts merchandise, the latest Daring Do book, some tortoise wax for Tank, an apple delivery cart, and so on. Now as far as the sequel, eh, it got promises; next e-mail!"

Subject: bad crayon namers
Dear 20% awesome
ever thought of how lame some crayon names are...like 'blizzard'...how stupid...and 'Laser lemon'...?
-much love
Turkey
Artdover, MN

When Rainbow reads 'Dear Rawson', the mare comments, "Oh yeah! Somepony got it right at last!" At the first ellipsis, she adds, "Oh, you mean as in 'Rainbow Iculous'?" We see a 'Dear Awesome colored crayon' along with 'Some Crayon' colored crayon.

When Rainbow got to 'Laser lemon', the mare repeats surprisedly, "Laser lemon?! Oh man!" She grabs a phone and yells into it, "Spike, stop production at once!"

---

Spike is in a garage using a soldering iron and an oscilloscope to make a laser that has lemons in it when Rainbow yells out over the PA, "Those folks at Crayola had beaten us to the punch! Better shift focus to...'Laser Limes'!" The dragon looks annoyed as a black 'cloud' appears or over his head. "Or maybe just laser beam would work."

"Ugh, fine, okay!" Spike remarks with a groan of annoyance. This dragon has to do everything around here due to some changes.

---

Rainbow resumes reading her e-mail, reading 'Artdover, MN' as 'Art over, and over, and over 'M.N.'. The mare asks curiously, "Turkey? What, that's a nickname or something like Turkbert; Or Turklliam; Or Turkhew?" Weird!"

Rainbow clears the screen as she remarks, "Well, pal, the crayons of my youth got some 20% awesome names...especially the ones that came with my Knightshade 1989 'Fillies, We're Staying in Room 302 at the Roltada' Tour coloring book!" We now see the coloring book which has a drawing of two members of Knightshade on the cover. A certain crayon appears as Rainbow say the following color names, "There's awesome names like Leather Black, Ripped Denim Blue, Groupie Lipstick Red, Skin Flesh (pink), Hairspray Blond (yellow) and of course the Tight Shiny Purple! Hay, this baby got a cassette tape that has a song on how to color!"

We now see a yellow cassette that is labeled 'Colorin' (Right outside the Line'. We see a view of the book's first page that shows Lefty and Juley performing. Below the two is the text 'Lefty and Juley rehearse their moves'. The page itself has been colored to make it look like that Lefty's guitar is on fire while a laser is drawn firing from the guitar with the word 'vpoo' over it.

During this time, Lefty is heard singing...

Lefty: Grab a box of sixty-four,—

We now see the next page that shows Knightshade with the text 'We are in an awesome band called Knightshade!' Tamby's coat has been colored green with him having a blue mane, Lefty has a black eye and blood dripping with the words 'be tup' colored on his shirt, while Merry has been to colored to have an extra set of arms coming out of his head doing the evil fingers. The words '2' sets are also colored above the stallion.

-with a sharpener a-built right in,—

Now the next page shows Lefty with two fillies (that are re-colored to look like stallions). The text now says 'Lefty Rainbow Dash always hang out with the 'of-age' stallions after the show'. Sure enough, Lefty's face has been colored to look like the mare with wings added to him. The text of course has some words added in.

-Dump 'em all out onto the floor,—

On the next page, Merry has his face drawn on his abdomen, the text shows 'Even Drummers almost never wear shirts during a big show'. The rest of the page is colorless.

-and let the party begin!

We now go to the next page; it shows Juley jumping into the air while on the guitar. The stallion has been colored to wear a LA Seaponies uniform, having a dark coat and somehow is holding a basketball. A basketball hoop and defending player was also drawn in. The text reads 'Juley's playing some 'air' guitar. Get it?'

Knightshade: Colorin'!

Lefty: Outside the lines!

On the next page, Tamby is with Mitt Obamney at the soundboard, the text reads 'Producer/manager/roadie/webmaster Mitt Obamney shows Tamby how to weak the reverb'. The two ponies are colored to look like old mares with wrinkles, grey hair, lipstick and hooves colored in.

Knightshade: Colorin'!

Lefty: Inside your heart!

The next page shows Lefty and Tamby, the latter is wearing an Ursa Minor mask. The mask reads 'That Ursa Minor mask gotta go!' shouts Lefty'. They have been more or less perfectly colored in.

Knightshade: Colorin'!

Lefty: Those crayons of mine!

In the next page, Merry and Lefty are barbecuing, we see a large, vicious looking monster standing behind the two. Spike is seen drawn in peeking behind the BBQ. Merry's coat has been colored blue. The text reads 'Back home from the road, Merry and Lefty say 'It's Grilla Time, Yo!'

Knightshade: Colorin'!

Lefty: Hey, hey, let's go back to the start!

The final page shows Lefty, Juley and Tamby performing...but not colored like the other pages. The texts reads 'Lefty is screaming like a monster while the other two are just playing guitars'. The music soon came to a stop.

"Dang, I missed one apparently! Well, as much as I respect you ponies artists, time to melt your faces right off." Rainbow comments as she uses the Skin Flesh crayon to drawn on Lefty's face; the music from the first drawing of Metal Iron the Invincible plays. Unfortunately, the crayon breaks. "Aw horse apples! My Skin Flesh broke! Where the hay am I goin to get another one of these at this hour? Wait, hang on! I betcha Twilight is teaching one of her classes at the Ponyville high school right now. Those ponies there are known to eat crayons as if they were paste!"

---

Indeed, at a school for bigger ponies, Twilight is teaching right now as we see a blackboard that reads 'SKINNING IS ALSO MURDER'. The mare finishes a monologue, "Okay, that way, you could feel guilty no matter what."

Rainbow came in while calling out, "Hey, Twilight. All right if I borrow some crayons? I broke my Skin Flesh."

"Ssh, come on, Rainbow, not in front of the class!"

The class of course consists of Derpy Hooves, Big Macintosh and Pinkie Pie; all of them are wearing yellow shirts. Derpy is stacking a stack of blocks right on her desk that reads 'MUFFIN'.

"Teacher Sparkle; Can I use the restroom?" Pinkie asks Twilight happily.

"Okay, so why can't I say 'Skin Flesh' in front of these...uh...foals?" Rainbow asks Twilight puzzled.

"First off, Rainbow Dash, we don't call them foals, they are 'life blossoms'." Twilight remarks to Rainbow with a scoff.

"Life blossoms; Oh man, what kind of cult are you running here anyhow?!"

"Let's not go there, Rainbow Dash. Anyway, we don't use the term 'Skin Flesh'. The color that you want is "Dermal Discoveries'."

Sure enough, a pink roll loosely resemble a crayon appears that has the words 'Dermal Discoveries' on them, with some notes played on an acoustic guitar. Rainbow, unamused, ask, "What is that mess? What about 'Lipstick Red'?"

"No, no, Rainbow Dash, that is too gender-specific. We use 'Crimson Suggestion'." Twilight explains as we see a red roll that has the words 'Crimson Suggestion' on it, causing more acoustic notes to play.

"Well, how about 'Hairspray Blond'?"

"Vague Pigmentation!"

A yellow roll with the words 'Vague Pigmentation' shows up as more notes are heard. Rainbow frowns as she then ask, "Leather Black?"

"Oh, we just called that one 'blue'." Twilight explains as a black roll with the word 'Blue' appears, with more acoustic notes being heard.

Just then, Pinkie Pie appears, asking, "Teacher Sparkle, are we going to talk about Elements all day?" We see the logo for 'L.U.R.N.' or 'Life-Blossoms Undergoing Re-Programming Naturally'.

"What the hay?" Rainbow asks, in confusion by what Pinkie just said.

"Elements, you know! For coloring, a box of elements," Pinkie explains, making Twilight laughs by what she just say. Even Rainbow finds Pinkie bad choice of word to be amusing.

"Wait, you mean 'crayons', right; 'Cray-ons'?"

"Awww phooey! I don't need this; I'm heading to the library to read me some cupcake comics!"

As Pinkie storms off, Rainbow curiously ask Twilight, "So what kind of grades does Pinkie Pie get in here?"

"Well, just roots and grass probably." Twilight answers with a shrug. We see Pinkie's record card briefly.

"Oh, roots and grass? So what, those are D's or D minusesses?"

"Nah, just F's."

---

We go back to the last page of the coloring book as Rainbow comments, "Okay, stallions! Time to make some dermal discoveries the Rainbow Dash way," The mare prepares to draw with the Dermal Discoveries 'crayon'. One problem: nothing's happening, "The hay? What's wrong with this lame element...on?"

Twilight, who is with Rainbow at the table, explains, "Oh, I forgot to tell you. Our crayons don't really color so that no one life blossom shines brighter than any other. That way, they will be so special like Celestia has made them."

"Ugh, never had any doubts that your students were 'special' in anyway, egghead."

"Plus, they are made from 100% pressed bunson so they also work as a healthy, snack; Mmm!"

Twilight eats a 'Crimson Suggestion' as he heads off, leaving Rainbow at the table. We see a bundle of the purple unicorn's 'crayons' in front of the Pegasus Pony as Lefty sings, with his words appearing under the bundle.

Pressed bunson, you know it's pressed bunson. Preeeeow!

When Lefty sang the last word, the paper comes down. Rainbow frowns while asking, "What the horse crap is pressed bunson?"

The End

Author's note
Well, the coloring e-mail is now done. In the next chapter/e-mail, Rainbow explains the 4 branches of the random things that Pinkie Pie has done. Read, review and suggest.