Rainbow Dash's E-Mails: Season Three
Chapter 40: 40. cliffhangers
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"Oooh, it's an e-email, money, money, money. Oooh-ooh; Shut up," Rainbow sang as she brings up another e-mail for her show. Let's see who got a question today.
Dear Rainbow Dash ,
so you gearing up for Christmas as much as I am ? heck i'll be tracking the bed red guy all through the night all the while working on three fanfics that pertain to christmas you heard me right RD three fanfics all the while i'm sure your going to be taking a break from answering Emails to spend time with your friends though I do have one question though . How ya going to ring in the new year ?
YOurs truely,
Adam
Oh and PS How do you guys celebreate fourth of July ?
Rainbow types in as she answers, "Yes...though I think it's over by the time you all see this e-mail. Red guy; I hope it isn't a devil...unless you mean a fat old guy in a red suit. I took my break a few things to hang out with my pals. Now to answer your questions, for New Year's, my pals and I got a way of celebrating the holiday. Also, yes, we celebrate a certain kind of Fourth of July; Next e-mail!"
Subject: cliffhangers
Dear Rainbow Dash,
Please resolve all the cliffhangers in Equestria.
Thanks a lot,
Dodo
Rainbow reads 'Dodo' as 'Little Dodo Pleasantfreak' as we see a book with the name on it that was made by Insane Doctor Ponyinterviews. The mare in interest types in, "Hmmm, cliffhangers, right? Never thought I'd call that up, but that is what they are. Sure, why not?"
Rainbow gets up and leaves, following by a familiar noise. Time to resolve those cliffhangers!
At a cliff, we see Derpy and Time Turner hanging from separate ropes that is attached to a cliff. The mixed up pony exclaims, "Wow, I love this kind of bungee jumping!"
We see Rainbow going to the edge of the cliff, smirking evilly while saying, "All right, cliffhangers; Time for you to get resolved once and for all. Heh heh heh," The mare took out a big knife and slices both the ropes, causing Time Turner and Derpy to fall right out of the show. "Oh, I also brought you two ponies some snacks."
Rainbow tosses some paper bags labeled 'Derp' and 'Dr. Whooves' down the cliff as Time Turner calls out, "Yeah, you're a good pal, Rainbow Dash!" The mare smiles as she flies off in satisfaction.
Rainbow sits back at her computer as her screen is cleared already. The mare begins to type once more, "Right, yeah, I know what you really mean, Dodo. So you want a resolution, right?"
We see static as we see the words 'Cliffhanger #1' on a dark grey screen. Now we see Lyra Heartstrings smirking madly. She got the Fruitakpony (AKA Big Macintosh unknown to her) tied up in a closet in her home. Soon his identify will be revealed!
"Yes, soon Fruitkapony, at long last, Equestria will learn your true secret identify! Which is an obsession of mine next to humans," Lyra laughs madly. "By doing this, you will be render useless as the Fruitkapony!"
"Shucks, Ah will render yew pointless!" Big Macintosh exclaims to Lyra with a frown.
"Say what you want, hand over those cool shades!"
Lyra smirks as she swipes right at Big Macintosh's shades, preparing to find him who the Fruitkapony really is. As she prepares to do so, the frame freezes as her upper foreleg is seen. We hear a dramatic sound effect (dum, dum, DUM!).
Soon the word 'Resolution' appears in yellow text before it goes away. Lyra...miss grabbing Big Macintosh's shades and fall right to her face.
"Eeyup, shut up, Lyra!" Big Macintosh remarks as he jumps out of the locker, stepping over Lyra to make his escape.
The usual singers chime in, the words fly across the screen in waves, "You missed unmasking the Fruitakpony!" We see a slight pause before the singers sang on, "Because you have really bad hand-eye coordination!"
Bon-Bon came in, saying dryly, "Told you it was a dumb thing to try, Lyra."
"Shut up, enough, I get it!" Lyra groans to Bon-Bon. "My secret secret has been shown, ugh."
The words 'Cliffhanger 2' appears. We now see Rainbow as Space Captainflank inside her cardboard spaceship talking on a cell phone (also made out of cardboard) with a little paper umbrella used as an antenna.
"Right, Hugh Ford, I know. But I'm in orbit. Listen, I will call ya back when I'm not..." Rainbow begins to say. Suddenly Scootaloo, as Strap, press the alarm sound effect on the CD player while turning on a lamp that has a red bulb in it then turn it off repeatedly. "Whoa, Strap! We're about to crash into something! Bring it on the screen thing!"
Applejack got rid of the piece of cardboard that shows screen, revealing a circular silhouette that hangs from a piece of string that has a sign that reads 'Chrysalis's Comet.' Rainbow gasps, "Whoa! We're about to hit Chrysalis's Comet; Full power to our forward humbuckers!"
"Bad news! They are offline!" Scootaloo exclaims frantically as she point to a screen that is drawn on the cardboard that said 'Come on, the forward humbuckers never even work, you dope!' ('never' is drawn in red)
"Yikes! The humbuckers are offline?! I'm a dope?! Then strap in, Strap, because we got to be ready for the ramming speed! If we're going to end like this, at least we must make it awesome for ponies in..." Rainbow looks out a side window labeled 'view' that shows a desktop globe of Equestria. "...Grassland."
Scootaloo plays the rockets firing sound on the CD player as the ship starts shaking, Rainbow screams out, "Oooohhhh...Shooooooo..." Soon everything freezes as the same dramatic sound effect plays again.
"Will Cap and Strap make it out in time?" An announcer booms out as we see a silhouetted comet that has a question mark overlaid. Applejack held up a sign read 'Tune in NEXTime...' "Tune in next..."
"Come on, none of that horse crap! Get to the resolving already!"
"Oh, right, right!"
We now see the 'Resolution' screen then we see the heroes holding to each other with the ship shaking around them. Rainbow exclaims in worry, "Strap, prepare yourself! This is it for us!"
At least, Rainbow thought this is it, until the shaking stops at last. The rocket sound dies away. And when the 'comet' came out of the silhouette, it turns out to be some moldy smelly cantaloupe that is labeled 'grodalated smelly cantaloupe'.
"Wait, hang on, that isn't any comet! We went and wandered into the Best Forgotten Fruit Belt of Tablame 5!" Rainbow exclaims in excitement. We see the cantaloupe being joined by banana and smelly overripe avocado. "It's guacamole and banana bread time, Strap; all right!"
We hear upbeat music playing as Rainbow and Scootaloo dance to it. All that trouble for nothing...but at the same time some excitement! Cool!
We see the words 'Cliffhanger 3' appearing. Now we see Twilight, Nyx and Pinkie near a table as the mare insists to the pink pony, "Pinkie Pie, you can tell us."
"I...I can't." Pinkie said in concern and worry. "If this gets out..."
"Come on, we won't say a word. Honest!" Nyx insists to Pinkie who sighs. "What is wrong?"
"I'm...I'm pregnant!"
The camera zooms onto Pinkie as the same dramatic sound is heard but in a lower tone. Now we see the 'Resolution' screen.
"Pinkie Pie, you've never even been in a relationship yet!" Twilight points out to Pinkie in annoyance. "So how can you be pregnant?!"
"Ooooh, right; Sorry, when I saw that I have gained weight, I thought I was pregnant for a moment." Pinkie said to Twilight sheepishly.
"Perhaps you should lay off the cupcakes for a while." Nyx remarks to Pinkie with a slight giggle.
"I would like my bits back now." Twilight remarks with a frown. She has to pay Pinkie Pie to hear that confession which isn't a confession at all?
We see static again before we see Rainbow going back to her computer remarking, "Well, Dodoenstein, that's it. All the cliffhangers have been re...AAAAHHHHH!"
Rainbow is screaming for a good reason: her computer AwesomeX is gone, replaced by a ransom note that reads 'i got your AwesomeX' and has a red-splattered comma key which is now missing from the keyboard.
"This can't be! My computer has been AwesomeX-napped...and they cut off his cute little toe!" Rainbow screams as she fell down to the floor, "Sweet lady irony, why must you mock me?!"
As we hear the dramatic sound again, the paper comes down that said the words 'Tune in next time for the cliff hanging conclusion!'
Outside in the marketplace, Lyra is having a conversion with Big Macintosh, out of his Fruitkapony disguise, as she exclaims, "Come on, I betcha if you take away those cool shades of his and rip that 'FRUIT' paper off his front, you can see that he is a thin cool unicorn with a big horn hanging from..."
"Shucks, Lyra, are you accusing yourself of being the Fruitkapony?" Big Macintosh asks Lyra dryly. The filly thinks she's the Fruitkapony? Of course she is not that bright.
"Yeah...wait, no, no! Just...err...humans?!"
At Sugarcube Corner, Pinkie Pie is wearing a T-Shirt as she listens to Rainbow who frantically reveals that her computer has been AwesomeX-napped! The pink pony smiles while asking, "Yeah, well, you know who I think did that wicked deed? Pinkie Pie! Think about it, okay? That mare got the history, the motive..."
"Pinkie Pie, you're admitting that you stole my computer, right?" Rainbow asks Pinkie with a hopeful look on her face."
"What?! No way! That's silly; just making cupcake conversion, trying to sound up with the times...uh...uh...sports team!"
Rainbow looks down in worry and deject. It would take a miracle to save her AwesomeX now...
To be continued...
Author's note
Not good! Rainbow's computer has been AwesomeX-napped, but who is responsible? In the next chapter/e-mail, the computer nappers are revealed! Can Rainbow save AwesomeX from them? Read, review and suggest!