Rainbow Dash's E-Mails: trading cards

Rainbow is once again singing while bringing up the first e-mail of her show, "A-when you dribble down the court with an email, you leave your dreams at the top of the keeey."

Well Rainbow its better for me to find out then not know at all though ,besides that you and your friends all know that Pinkie is a very bouncy and go lucky pony but who in there right mind would write a fanfic about her much less one about big mac and two about you (I'm referring to the creepy pasta fanfics) those authors just have a sick and twisted mind and heck i'd write one for the hay of it and maybe throw in some elements that most authors never thought of , But anyway though I wish Pinkie Aj Fluttershy and Rarity a very merry christmas or in ponyterms Hearth's Warming likewise with Celestia and Luna Sining Armor and Cadence and oh yea Derpy or was it Ditzy don't know though

Yours Truely,

Adam

Rainbow sighs as she types in, saying, "Too long, Adam, way too long; as for who would write a fanfic about her in...that way; Must be the insane ones; Those authors, sick and crazy. Look, best not to kill us off, Adam. It won't be too pleasing for my viewers. Anyway, Merry Christmas and Hearth's Warming to you too. All right, who's next?"

Subject: Trading Ranbow-gum
Hey Rainbowdash-
You got to have trading cards...that has sticks of gum in them.
Nerdly yours,
Alfred
N.S. COLTADA

Rainbow says 'Another weird Brony named Alfred' instead of the name and 'not safe in Cotlada' instead of 'N.S. Coltada'. The mare types in while whispering, "Right, thanks for the trip, Al. I will stay here in Equestria until things cool off up there."

Rainbow, after clearing the screen, spoke normally, "Okay, Alfred, while I am a fan of cards like the Wonderbolts and maybe the ideas of having cards of me and my friends...in some cases, trading cards that AREN'T cool are the biggest waste of not a video game in Equestria! When good graphic were invented, I thought trading cards were outlawed!" We see a title screen of a video game starring the Cutie Mark Crusaders. "As far as the 'gum goes, I'm pretty sure they replaced that wih pink pieces of balsa wood in the early '80s and no pony would bother to notice. No, I shouldn't have BAD trading cards...but much of the ponies around here seen engaged in some sort of trading cardery at one point or another. Time to rag on them, shall we?"

We see a small area on Rainbow's computer desk as a trading card of Applejack that is titled 'AJ' is put onto it. The Pegasus pony is heard saying, "First off is Applejack's line of vaguely farm managerial cards." We see another trading card entitled 'Big Macintosh' being placed onto the table. "Now what self-respecting 12 year old doesn't want to collect picture of smelly farm ponies behind their favorite Earth ponies?" A third card that is entitled 'Granny Smith' is placed down. "And also who could resist memorizing all these fabulous farm stats?" The card is flipped down showing vaguely related farm stats, "Nice, record high 23 apple bucking from years ago."

We see Pinkie nearby while commentating, "And who do you think was the lucky recipient of all those apple bucking except one?" The pink pony giggles while wiggling her flank.

"I suppose it's..."

"Nope; it was me! I was made to hustle that season!"

"So who got that last apple buck?" Rainbow asks Pinkie Pie with a sigh.

"Well, I think she gave herself that one. She is re-known for her apple bucking tasks." Pinkie said while wiggling her flank once more.

"Yeah, probably known in seven cities."

"Huh?"

Rainbow ignores Pinkie as she goes back to her computer to clear her screen. The mare then types while continuing, "Next off is the Cutie Mark Crusaders' trading card game which is more of a trading card activity or trading card goings-ons because the word 'game' is supposed to mean fun and enjoyment." On the mare's computer desk, a trading card of 'Scootball, Apple Bomb and Sweetie Lady' slides into view. "And trust me you won't see none of those here."

---

We see a familiar Anime area of Ponyville as Crono yells to the CMC lookalikes, "CUTIE MARK RANGERS POISON ROAN TORNADO!" The mare throws the trio right at the screen.

The animation stops briefly as the three fillies scream, "Yay! Cutie Mark Rangers yo," They then explode in a flash of light. Once all is clear, numbers appear in four corners of the screen that change rapidly like mad. The word 'PLAY GET!' flash onto the screen as a song begins to play.

"Soooo...do I win or what? Anypony know how this game works at all?"

---

Back to the computer desk, we see the trading cards of 'Cutie Mark Rangers' and 'Crono' lying on it. Pinkie happily comments, "I will trade you your Cutie Mark Rangers cards for my Deathly Muffing Lonely Lurker Attack one!" The pink mare put the said card that looks like Derpy in a black cloak and hood holding a scythe right onto the table.

"Pinkie Pie, those aren't even from the same game." Rainbow points out to Pinkie Pie in annoyance as we see an alternate Derpy card. "Or even SLG. Your game is for crazy nerds to play in the fresh stallion dorms' basements. This cutesy Neighpanesy game is for foals to play during recess and to make sure that they don't get any real exercise whatsoever!"

"So how else would those foals earn any apple bucking if they don't rustle it out?"

"Ugh, Pinkie Pie, I doubt apple bucking is the part of an approved curriculum in schools in Ponyville these days."

"Well, that's just sad." Pinkie said sadly as her friend goes back to her computer to resume typing.

"Now then, the only trading cards that I would give a buck about were..." Rainbow explains as we see a trading card that is entitled 'Smelly Pony' appearing. "...the Smelly Pony's line of gross-out cards for foals."

"Hey, I will take you that card for this Rarity-DRESS." Pinkie said as she put the trading card onto the table.

"What, you keep doing this at random, are ya?"

"Okay, fine, I will throw in this rare Princess TROLLESTIA as well." Pinkie comments as she put the said trading card right onto the table.

"Here's an idea. How about I trade you a 'leave me alone right now' for this..." Rainbow said as she begins drawing on a sticky note. "...uhhhhhhh..." We now see a post-it note that said '148 more reps!' being put onto the computer desk. "...one of a kind Rainbow Dash bench-pressing dragons collector's card."

"Okie dokie lokie," Pinkie said happily as she put the note right onto herself along with others that has more sticky notes that has Rainbow and dragons drawn on them. "My collection is done!" Well, here you go, my good friend; your 'leave me right now'."

Pinkie rush off as the paper comes down, bringing this chapter/e-mail to an end. A while later, Rainbow then ask, "So how many times did we have that conversion?"

Pinkie peeks in while answering happily, "Thirty five!" The pink pony then disappears. We now see all the trading cards (except the alternate Derpy one) as well as the sticky notes on the floor.

The End

Author's note
Good trading cards, eh? Luckily for us Earthlings, we got the real life MLP: FIM ones! In the next chapter/e-mail, Rainbow Dash herself resolved some cliffhangers but a shocking surprise waits for her at the end of this e-mail/chapter! Read, review and suggest!