Rainbow Dash's E-Mails: Season Three
Chapter 36: 36. keep cool
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"I'll take you back to a time when e-mail was king!" Rainbow did some rapping as she brings up the e-mail on her computer as usual.
Subject: Oh man,,,
Can you tell me how it is over in Ponyville? We are boiling like mad over here. What do you do to keep cool?
Green R.
Sunnytown, CA
A record is heard scratching after 'Ponyville'. The screen dims as another Rainbow Dash shows up saying, "Just a note to you Bronies out there..."
We see Ponyville as a cutout in the shape of Rainbow Dash labeled 'rd' is shown. Rainbow is heard saying, "Now this is Ponyville." We now see Time Turner's laboratory, which has a similar cutout for Time Turner that is labeled 'time turner'. "Not this place."
We see the library with a cutout of Twilight that is labeled 'egghead sparkle' as Rainbow continues, "...or this..." We see a cutout of the Tree with a cutout of Pinkie Pie that is labeled 'ds', "...or this."
We cut back to Ponyville as the second Rainbow continues, "Just this." We go back to the computer as the mare nods to the camera. "Okay, you got that? Now give me a hoof!"
The second Rainbow held up her left hoof before disappearing. The rest of the screen disappears as the original Rainbow finish reading the e-mail. We see a menu when Rainbow says 'Sunnytown, Cactus Area'.
Cactus Area
"The most boring donkey Restaurant in Equestria"
(picture of a circle around two weird cacti and the word "Sombreo")
(Yes, even we know what salsa is by now!)
Rainbow types in as she explains, "Not sure how it is around Equestria, Green boy. Of course, we have our old-timey, made-uppy, no worky way of figuring that one out though."
Derpy is sleeping on a brick wall as a book is labeled 'Mr. Colthov' is next to her. Rainbow is heard speaking, "We of course put a spoonful of..." The mare herself, along with Twilight and Spike are sneaking behind Derpy as Rainbow puts a spoon of sauce right onto the goofy pony's head. "...of hoisin sauce on Derpy Hoove's very disturbing head...then we just ask her."
"Uh, you sure this is right?" Spike asks Rainbow puzzled.
Rainbow smiles then she yell out to Derpy, "Hey!" The cyan Pegasus pony hits Derpy, causing the goofy one to yelp and wake up. "Cross eyes! How hot is it today?"
"The current temperature is 97, 87 degrees...humidity: 25 percent!" Derpy exclaims quickly. Of course, she fails to see that Rainbow, Twilight and Spike are slowly starting to leave as they make a tapping noise while doing do. "...barometric pressure is 30.5 mercury...I'm going to eat this spoonful of whatever sauce this thing is."
Derpy grabs the spoon off her own head and opens her mouth to eat the sauce...but we go to the edge of the wall where Rainbow's group is out. Rainbow herself screams out, "Hey ponies! You hear that?! It's the high 90s!" The mare laughs as she takes out a paper that is titled 'Luffy D. Monkey's Summer Tips' as we look at it. "Know what that means?!"
Music starts as Rainbow flew up into the sky with Twilight and Spike raising their hooves/arms into the air up while they all yell, "YEAH COOL TIME; POOL TIME!"
"Yes...wait, what pool are we using?" Twilight ask Rainbow curiously.
"Duh; in the pool that we always had..." Rainbow explains as Spike looks surprised. "...which we use all the time...and the school always had an elevator!"
Rarity is at work at the Carousel Baroque as Pinkie pops out, exclaiming happily, "Yes! It's cool time!"
"That means pool time!" Rarity giggles eagerly. The white unicorn needs some pool time after her hard day's work.
At Time Turner's lab, Caramel is leaning in the counter as he asks his pal, "Cool time?"
"Pool time for sure," Time Turner exclaims with an eager smile.
Fluttershy and Big Macintosh are walking in the field as the yellow Pegasus pony asks meekly, "Is it cool time?"
"Eeyup! Pool time," Big Macintosh exclaims as he gave her a hooves-up big time.
Sure enough, the ponies are hanging out at the pool time, having a cool time. Rainbow sat in a lifeguard's chair with Caramel trotting behind her in a barrel. Time Turner floats in the pool water with inflatable water wings on his arms while the CMC and Nyx skims across the surface of the water quickly twice. The ponies are having some fun so far.
"All right, you little sacks of horse craps and ponies I like. Just so I don't have to bother using this weird foamy thing..." Rainbow said as she kicks off the floating device that is hanging on her perch, "Time for me to explain the pool rules, okay?"
We see a paper reading 'POOL RULES' as Rainbow reads them, "Welcome to our 'pool'. Notice that isn't any 'take a horsecrap in it' in it? Try to to keep it that way!" Big Macintosh, wearing an alien floating device, was about to test the water with a dirty hoot. "Hold it; don't even try it, Big Mac!"
"Aww, shucks." Big Maicntosh said as he hangs his head down. As Rainbow continues explaining the Pool Rules sheet, the following rules are added with illustrations while being mentioned. We see pictures of a pony head holding a knife in its mouth, a house with a blast behind it with the walls and roofing falling, and somepony's flank with a hoof in it.
"Next off, no rough-horsing, no house-rousing, no flank patting of any kind."
"Aww, horse feathers," Caramel said in disappointment.
"Also, no running, diving or swimming!" Rainbow remarked. "Of course, the last one isn't very widely enforced...and the rules don't make sense but bear with me! But more importantly, after you eat, you gotta wait 3 full days, get a doctor, have an ear candling, and press UP, A and Start before going back in. Don't ask me why those rules are there. They just don't make any sense!"
Rainbow looks at Rarity whose Mane now has a green tinge, the tip of it is smoldering. The burn goes slowly up to the head part, burning it right off as Rarity speaks, "Rainbow Dash, darling. What exactly did you put into the water?"
"Hay if I know. Chemicals, whatever I can find under the sink." Rainbow remarks as we see a pile of containers with chemicals in them, along with a bottle of 20% Awesome Sauce. "Well, you have to put chemicals in the pool, right? That's what they say...and that is all that they say anyway."
"Well...whatever it is...this stuff is doing wonders for mane, why I can feel it tingle."
Things are going fine...until stormy clouds came in by Pegasus ponies; we can hear faint flashes of lighting along with thunder. This causes Rainbow to speak in a sing song voice, "Light-ning." The mare then spoke normally, "You all know the drill."
"Awwww," Twilight, Spike, the CMC and Nyx said in disappointment while leaving the pool. And they were having so much fun too.
"Blast it!" Time Turner said with a sigh; So much for having pool time.
Pinkie, Caramel and Applejack trots through the pool carrying a TV antenna, golf clubs and umbrella respectively for some oddball reason, stopping in middle of the pool itself to sigh and groans.
Once the weather is clear up, Rainbow speaks with Time Turner in the lifeguard chair as she ask, "So later on, anypony want to get together for a game of 'Sea Serpents and Goldfish'; 'Coltstein and Kreskin'; 'Pregnant and 17' or whatever?"
"Err, Rainbow Dash! We oughta play 'Keep the Crazy Twilight Sparkle off the Hay-Picking high dive for Celestia's sake!" Time Turner exclaims as he points frantically to the diving board.
Sure enough, Twilight smirks madly as she jumps off the high-dive, screaming, "Cannonball! Yahoo!" The mare somehow takes a shape of a cannonball before...taking a tiny splash into the water. Nothing happens at first...
Of course, without warning, a magic blast is seen causing all the water to be splashed right out of the pool. We see shadows of the CMC, Nyx, Caramel, the lifeguard tower, Rainbow and Pinkie being seen right through the wave; Hoo boy.
Rainbow screams as she crash right through the ceiling of her computer room, returning to her computer. As water splashes down right onto her, the mare sighs while looking up. Twilight should've known better.
"Horse feathers, gotta stop patching that hole." Rainbow mumbles as she types back into her computer. "Well, the pool season is now over. May as well start Back2School shopping...gets some new pencil holders...stencil folders..."
We hear Pinkie screaming as the pink pony crash right into the place, landing right on top of her friend. The pink pony spoke in concern, "Dashie? I think that magic wave messed up your 'ool."
"Ugh...I...breaky...spiney. Ooh..."
The paper comes down, bringing the e-mail/chapter to an end.
"Wind sou'-sou'west at 10 miles per hour. Sunset at 8:45 PM," Derpy continues her broadcast, unaware that a mischievous Applejack is coming up behind her. "There are baseball games at 2, 11 and 3."
The cowpony chuckles as she put a cherry on the goofy Pegasus pony's head before taking out a can of shaving cream. This oughta be funny...
The End
Author's note
Wow, pool season didn't last long, huh? In the next chapter/e-mail, a reviewer asks Rainbow why her show doesn't have a theme song. The Pegasus pony explains why it doesn't need one. Read, review and suggest.