Rainbow Dash's E-Mails: theme song

Rainbow brings up the e-mail once more on her show as she begins to sing, "When email comes to town, you know, you know, it's like a rainstorm... in your browser."

Rainbow Dash do ya ever listen to a band called Dio ? thought i'd throw that out there also its the first day of winter here YAY! and four days till christmas awesome !but all of that aside i think that there is something i wanted to say for a while just not in ...that way but . Merry Christasm Rainbow or . Happy Hearth Warming i'm guessing oh if and when you get the chance tell Twilight i said Happy Hearths warming and Hi as well just wanting to know how she's doing well see ya

Yoursly truely ,

Adam

Rainbow types in as she answers, "Hey Adam. Thanks for reviewing. Sorry if I have disappointed ya in the previous e-mail...but to be honest, I got my eyes on...another stallion...prize. Wink, wink; As for Dio, I think Megan or her kids gave me some clips of their songs. Also, same to you; As for Twilight, I will tell her you said that; Next e-mail!"

Subject: theme song
Dear Powerful Dash,
I am annoyed that your e-mail show doesn't got a theme song. If it does have one, your show would've been a whole lot cooler and awesome.
Bartholomew Shazaam
Ontario, Coltada

Rainbow said 'Shazaam' in a weird way as the lens flares with a special effect appearing over the name. She also says the location funny too. The mare remarks, "Well well, little south of the border flavor, eh?" Rainbow begins to type while remarking, "Dear Powerfful Dag, I am annoyed that your face doesn't got a lots of acne. If it does have one, you would've been a whole lot cooler."

Rainbow clears the screen as she continues, "Anyway, what the hay are you talking about, Shazaam?" The special effect appears over the word again. "In my opinion, theme songs are nothing more than a excuse for show makers to make less show. Yeah, I betcha viewership would've triple if I have one of the lame crappy cartoon theme songs that hits you over the head with the blunt end of the show's premise." Theme song music fades in over the last words.

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We see Rainbow smiling as she flew through Ponyville. A crappy cartoon theme song begins to sing.

Crappy Cartoon Theme Song: Rainbow Dash is a Pegasus friend,
She's the email-checkinest gal in the land.
She checks real emails from the net,
She's got a lot of friends and Scootaloo, her fan. Scootaloo, her friend!

'RAINBOW' shows up on screen as the name is sung. We see the mare typing as the computer flies onto the screen, showing an e-mail from rockpunker96...

Dear Rainbow Dash,
I love your Metal Iron the Invincible!
Draw him AGAIN!

Rockpunker96

We see Twilight, Rarity, Applejack, Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie dancing in the club while they are announced while Scootaloo, in cool shades, slides into the screen with the words 'SCOOTALOO HER FAN!'

There's nobody ditzy than the Hooves known as Derpy
On The Rainbow Dash E-mail Show!

We see Derpy breaking through the computer with a muffin, opening her mouth to bites into it. We see the title of 'Rainbow Dash E-mail Show' that has the mare's smiling face in front of a pink heart design. The music comes to its end.

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Rainbow is seen tying on her computer as she said, "And thus the ratings went through the roof. And of course, let's not forget the life-affirming pop-ballad kinda theme song, the one sung by some variety of Neville ponies."

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We now see a scene with the computer desk unattended. The title 'The Rainbow Dash E-Mail Show' flies on the screen. We see flowers on the desk as well as pictures of the Cutie Mark Crusaders, most of the Mane Six and Rainbow on the wall. The characters are introduced as their pictures fly across the screen with their names appearing across them.
As Rainbow shows a shadow Metal Iron to the CMC as a pop ballad type theme song plays.

Pop Ballad Type Theme Song: You and me, babe, livin' for dreams,
Lifin' for love, drinkin' for free.
Sittin' on top of an old robot, sharin' and carin' it out.
The memory's scrubbing you down!

As the music fades out, we see a clip montage as Rainbow's voice speaks, "Of course, the best clips that show will show are from unaired pilot that you won't see except on DVD." We see the mare drinking a mix of coffee and 'APPLE CIDER Lite' from a hat that she's wearing with her friends. The Rainbow floats in space then we see her looking up from her computer, throwing a stack of paper right into the air.

Memory scrubbing you down!

The music fades out as we see Rainbow in a tank with the clip montage fades out to show the words 'created by MLP Ponyinterviews'. Rainbow's voice continues, "And just when you actually get to see some actual show...you gotta watch a commercial!"

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The commercial begins as we see some hooves holding bits and apple cores. A commercial guy is heard saying, "Hey folks! Do you make butt at your current job?" The word '$BUTT' is stamped right onto the screen. "Always make twice the butt?"

We see some sort of calculator that shows 'BUTT X 12' upside down, though is rotated counterclockwise 180 degrees. We now see the RDTAU online e-niversity 'website Coming Whenever(ish)!' 'Check back after the Wonderbolt games!'

"Well, a shady online degree is only 4 clicks away right here at RDTAU online e-niversity!" The commercial guy said as we see four cursors appearing. Now we see a wooden wall where a set of college flags appear. "Most of your Equestrian colleges take 4 years to get done."

We now see a hoof with a mouse against a purple background, the hoof click the mouse four times causing the words 'FRESHCOLT;' 'SOPHOPONY;' 'JUNIOR'; 'SENIOR' to appear after the other in increasing font size.

"But at RDTAU, 1 year always equal 1 click!" The commercial guy explains as a mortarboard is seen flying through the air.

Now we see Granny Smith wearing a blue baseball cap in front of some boxes, her degrees are shown on the screen while moving her hoof down while saying, "Shucks, I got 14 degrees during lunch. Now I can legally give out marriages in Equestria!"

We see a blue background that repeats the word 'LEGITIMIATE'. Now an '(On)line RDTAU e-NIVERSITY' medallions with four cursors show up. The words 'Join the e-NIVERSITY e-VOLUTIION e-day in blue from which the commercial guy, along with 'Banner ad valorum', "Join now and join the e-niversity e-volution e-day. Well...okay, maybe today." The word 'TODAY' appears over the 'e-DAY' word in yellow front. "Okay, I admit the last one didn't work so well. So sue me!"

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We now see a Activated by Spike interitle that shows Rainbow chasing her computer. A female announcer said, "We will be right back with more Rainbow Dash E-Mails."

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Now we see a balding mule in front of a newspaper background. Another commercial guy ask, "Hey, do you wanna bite your own foreleg right off?"

The balding mule gave a loud long sigh.

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After some static, we return to Rainbow Dash typing on her computer as she say, "Relax, ponies. Just so you hope to get gipped out of another minute of actual show, well, you can hear the jazzy instrumental version right over the end credits!"

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Now we hear a jazzy instrumental version of the pop ballad theme song playing. During the credits, we see Rainbow Dash talking into a microphone on stage at Sugarcube Corner. The end credits are shown during this scene.

Rainbow's voice comments, "Of course, and the off-change that you waned o hear the theme song...well, we took care of that as well."

We now see a program preview with the logo for 'Three Ponies is 4 Tonite' moving onto the screen, squeezing the Rainbow Dash Show E-Mail end credits to the left third of it. The music fades as the Equestria Action 20% Awesome News 5 logo shows up.

As the announcer spoke, we see faces of the four main characters, as well at the texts 'Weenights at 7:30, 8:00, 9:300, 11:00 and 11:30', "Coming up later is 'Three Ponies is 4 Tonite'. Join Tom, Jerry, Butchy and Scourge as they learn to give a care. But first..." We see the words 'Coming up Next'. "They're tiny, they're toony; they're all a little loony."

No, folks. It isn't what you think. We see graphics for Cutie Mark Commandos that shows Fillynold being taped to a rocket while Toughpony is checking the tape. The Cutie Mark Commandos logo shows up with the text 'Weekdays at right now' as the announcer continues, "It's the Cutie Mark Commandos!"

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Rainbow types once more on her computer as she ask, "See what I mean 'Shazaam'?" The special effect happens once more. "What you're asking me is to dedicate 2 minutes of my 3 to 5 minute e-mail show to what is essentially a commercial for something you're watching anyway! And besides that, I gave you ponies a new rdemail song every week so what are you asking for? Allow me to leave you with the old standard 'When E-Mail Comes to Town, You Know, You Know, It's Like a Rainstorm...In Your Brower." The mare stops typing as she begins to sing. "When email comes to town, you know, you know, it's like a rainstorm... in your browser."

The paper comes down, bringing this e-mail/chapter to an end. We can hear the funky theme song playing with the credits scrolling. Suddenly the Activated by Spike show preview squeezes into the screen. A red curtain is visible with spot lights moving over it. We see the text 'Next! All new Activate by Spike; Later on...Incredible Equestrian News' as well as the news logo sliding in.

"Next up on Activated by Spike: Applejack gets her own talk show." Another announcer said with a chuckle as we see 'Applejack's Evening Hour' which shows Activated by Spike Applejack (as well as her hat and apples cutie mark). "Her first guest is hilarity."

We see Activated by Spike Applejack behind a late night talk show host desk in front of a skyline. We see a guest with Spike's face and glasses in his seat, wobbling before appearing up close to the camera, laughing and bouncing. The Shazaam special effect happens once more.

The End

Author's note
Well, I guess Rainbow Dash doesn't need a theme song for her song. Who could blame her? In the next chapter/e-mail, Rainbow Dash and Scootaloo go on a road trip...or probably a car trip...or trapped in a car. Read, review and suggest.