Rainbow Dash's E-Mails: Season Three
Chapter 32: 32. alternative universe
Previous Chapter Next ChapterRainbow Dash's E-Mails: alternative universe
"I've been walking on clouds and flipping off rainbows, on the wiiiiings of an emaiiil..." Rainbow sang over guitar music at her desk. The mare is once again working on checking her e-mails. Fluttershy is standing to her right playing a classical guitar, "Thanks, Flutter."
"No problem." Fluttershy said as Rainbow begins to check the first-email of her show.
Rainbow
Well well Christmas or hearths warming is approaching and fast ,Got any plans? you spending it with family or friends? anywho i'm going to spen it with family since its been four or five years since we got a gift exchange and spending new years as well no way am i falling asleep i've trained myself to stay awake so to speak and did you get your boastfulness attiude from your ancsester Firefly? not trying to be rude here
yours truely Adam
"Whoa, is it that time already? I must've lost track." Rainbow types in her answer. "To be honest, I am spending with my pals as usual. Also as for my attitude, I am not sure. I may have inherited or is that the same thing? Anyway, next e-mail!"
Subject: alternate univer$e
Dear Rainbow Dash,
Got some ?'s just for you:
1. What would you do with a 100,000,000 bits?
2. If you found yourself in an alternate universe somehow, what would you do?
Susan (not a girl), TX
Rainbow say 'question marks' for '?'s', and 'Number one' and 'Number two' for '1' and '2' respectively. The mare says everything inside parentheses normally while saying as she types, "To be honest, you can probably ditch that whole (not a girl) thing, not necessary. You could replace it with something tough, cool, kool and awesome; Like (Pegasus pony); Susan (Pegasus pony). No pony in their right mind would think that a guy is a girl...or a colt is a filly."
Rainbow clears the screens as she continues, "Well, Ms. Pegasus, you already answered question mark #1 with question mark #2 because a 100,000,000 bits is exactly how much that Scootaloo paid for on our new alternate universe portal thing." Sure enough, there's Scootaloo on the computer's right working on a blender that held a Video Game Colt. "Right, Scootaloo?"
"Actually, Rainbow Dash, I got this thing for only 14 bits." Scootaloo explains to Rainbow with a shrug.
"Wait, that thing cost us 14 bits, really?"
"Yes, that's right."
Rainbow blinked a bit then shrugs while saying, "Well, that's 100,000,000 bits in...dog year, right?"
"Yeah, right. According to Spike anyway," Scootaloo said to Rainbow as she gets the blender working.
"All right, mash Go on that blender and let's do this!"
Scootaloo press a button on the blender. it shoots out white bolts as lightning in the room flashes. Soon the blender stops with the game system still intact...and a large swirl is now to the desk's right.
"Oh wow, swirly Photoshop magic! This thing could release some major Tartarus demons. So..." Rainbow begins to ask as Scootaloo turns to her idol. "So I jump in or what?"
"Yeah, that must be the idea." Scootaloo said with a nod.
"All right, Ohbee kaybee; fly"
Rainbow flew off her stool and heads right to the swirl. Upon touching it, everything but her and the swirl turns back and white. The mare distorts horizontally and vertically then 'springs' right into the swirl itself.
We now see a panel of a comic strip that has a lot of buildings drawn into it. A caption at the top of the panel reads 'IN A BULDING...' which a narrator reads, "In a building..."
We now go to the next panel which shows an empty room. Rainbow then appears with a 'VOIP' appearing next to her. Whenever the mare speaks, what she says is shown in a speech bubble in the bubble, "Whoa! So where am I?"
In the next panel, the Mare Do-Well is there in an action pose in front of a yellow background. When she speaks, what the heroine say also appears in a speech bubble (though not lip-synced), first in red then in normal text, "TWINKY! We got a visitor from another universe!"
In the next panel, Rainbow appears in the next room, looking around while saying, "Whoa, it's the Mare Do-Well...and that weird costume of hers. But...why the hay are we in a lame-o apartment? Shouldn't we be in a secret underground lair filled with secret underground cool gadgets?"
In the next panel, the Mare Do-Well is shown from the chest up in front of a blue background as she explains, "The reason why mere pony...is that this apartment..." In another next panel, the heroine is now in front of a red background with her upper forelegs in the air, a thunderclap is heard as the Mare Do-Well's speech bubble became large, yellow and pointy then regular. "...IS RENT CONTROLLED; Plus, water is included."
In the next panel, we see the sinks for the kitchen and bathroom with their faucets running; the bathroom tap has the word 'FROSH' next to it. Rainbow, unimpressed, ask, "Can you tell me why you left all your faucets running?"
We go to another panel as the Mare Do-Well is standing in a room, laughing "MWA-HA-HA-HA-HA! Those dumb bronies down at the public works won't know what hit them!"
Rainbow trots in from the left, still unimpressed. She asks, "That's how you do your heroic deeds; by wasting water?"
"Plus not paying for it. I may be a heroine but I can do pranks every now and again."
"I got to confess, Mare Do-Well...this comic part here is boring and dull. Better see what's going on further down the page. Fly!" Rainbow then flew out of the current panel, landing down three more. She sees a colt with a big knife in his mouth fighting a huge robotic snake. "Awesome! This is what I'm talking about!"
However in the next panel, it turns out that Rainbow is in front of the TV with the previous panel on it to the right of her. The Mare Do-Well, on the left, exclaims, "Yes, you ain't kidding!"
"Huh?"
"Because we got expanded basic cable..." As the Mare Do-Well continues, we see cable running through a hole in the wall in the next panel, "...'borrowed' from my neighbor!"
In the next panel, Rainbow is in front of the yellow background, looking annoyed as she ask, "Give me break, who is writing this issue; the geniuses behind Filly-Hulk; Scootaloo!"
Rainbow's voice is heard coming from the swirl in a speech bubble as she spoke to Scootaloo in the computer room, "A little frappe action, will ya?"
"Sure, okay!" Scootaloo exclaims as she turns the blender back on.
Back in the previous comic panel, Rainbow disappears with the same' VOIP'. In the next panel, the Mare Do-Well is in the same pose as she disappears, but flips around and with a green background.
"TWINKY; Keep flushing those toilets," The Mare Do-Well booms to her sidekick.
At a Ponyland stage, Firefly is standing on it with curtains behind her. The mare is about to do a trick as seen from a sign that said 'FIREFLY and her 'GOOD TIME PARLOR TRICKS'. As the audience watches, Firefly herself said, "All right, for my next parlor trick, I can make anything appear."
As if on cue, Rainbow appears to Firefly's left, in her normal form. She say sheepishly, "Hey there." Needless to see, the crowd begins booing.
"Oh great; who are you?! You've ruined my act! I was going to be ten times awesome without a copycat!"
As music begins to play, tomatoes are thrown at the two mares. Rainbow yelps in alarm, "Whoa! Shades of tomatoes! At least I finally met Firefly...and see where I do get my boastful attitude!"
As this goes on, Rainbow disappears as Firefly looks to her left in confusion.
Vector Rainbow Dash was floating above a vector field as Rainbow appears to her right. The real mare grins as she ask, "Hey, what's up my enormous vector sister?"
As Vector Rainbow Dash speaks, her words come out of her mouth in red vector-style test that disappears for a short while, "HELLOTYE!"
"So uh...tell me, what do you do for fun in this cool 3-D like place?"
"I SPLO STUFF UP."
Rainbow flew backwards to avoid the 'UP' word which explodes with vector graphics. The mare grins while saying, "Whoa. Pretty awesome, I got to say."
Just then Crono trots in from the left, saying, "Yo, mares! How are the challenges?"
"WHAT IS IS MY DOGE?" Vector Rainbow Dash asks Crono in greeting.
"Wait, hang on, you two know one another?" Rainbow asks in surprise and disbelief. She is both because she herself didn't even know that two of her AU selves know one another already!
"Oh, totally, sure," Crono exclaims as she leans forward, waving a hoof. "She is my training simulator! Check this out!"
Vecto Rainbow Dash begins moving left and right, shooting out squares right at Crono who flies around, dodging them. Rainbow does her best to do the same thing but has more difficulty doing so; Game music from 'video games' play.
It took a few seconds before the trio stops. Crono smirks while joking, "Nice work, big flank!"
"Big flank," Rainbow ask Crono with a frown.
"Yeah, your flank!"
"LEVEL 2," Vector Rainbow Dash boomed out, signaling that it's time now for the next game level.
"Yikes." Crono and Rainbow yelps a bit. The former silently laughs as Vector Rainbow Dash shoots a series squares right at Rainbow. As they blow up, the real mare disappears.
Vector Rainbow Dash continues shooting squares at Crono who dodges as if nothing has happened.
In the field in the style of 'flashback', Classic Rainbow is standing close to the camera while the real one appears to the right. All text appears in white rectangle near the screen's bottom.
"And so..."
The narrator Rainbow is heard as the real one looks around in confusion.
"...both Rainbow Dashes entered the 'Dig to Neighna with Your Ears Contest."
"Ugh, seriously? This must be the second or third to worst contest that I have ever heard of." Rainbow exclaims in annoyance. We see a silhouette of Twilight, Big Macintosh, Caramel, Applejack and Rarity to the right of a banner that reads 'the contest began'; the Classic Rainbow is right underneath it.
"And thus the contest begins!"
Classic Rainbow begins rubbing her head on the ground near a line that is marked 'start'...
"And Classic Rainbow Dash rubbed her ear on the ground..."
We see Rainbow sitting in a hammock with her Dasheresque glasses on.
"...while our Modern Day Hero maxed and relaxed."
We see Classic Rainbow standing near the camera; a hole is seen in the background with a giant glass of Apple Cider appearing in the center. The mare exclaims, "Yes, I struck it rich!"
"Said C.R.D."
We see a giant glass of Apple Cider in the center while the Bulked up Pegasus held Rainbow's hammock right up. The classic one called out, "A giant mug of awesome Apple Cider!"
Without warning, Firefly appears to the left, wearing a bathing suit. Classic Rainbow looks surprised as she exclaims, "Awesome! An apple like swimming hole! Last one in is a Bushwoolie!" The mare half-gallops to the Apple Cider and flies in. "Fly!"
As Rainbow disappears, Disc Burner Rainbow appears on the bottom left, dancing while playing a tune.
In an universe in the style of puppets, Puppet Rainbow Dash is in front of the Cloudsdale fence, the tire and stop sign are visible. The real Rainbow appears to the right. Music begins to play as both mares dance in sync with one another. After a while, the real Rainbow disappears once more.
In the Cuuuuuuudge's Enclosure, Rainbow is lying on top of the thing, sliding down before disappearing.
At the abandoned factory from 'highschool', Teenage Rainbow Dash is there as the real one appears to the left. The former remarks, "Striped pants." Rainbow disappears once more.
Rainbow is freaking out as she is in an interdimensional voice which is changing colors like mad. Something is going on here; the mare kept appearing in and out of dimensions like mad.
"Scootaloo; Stop it with the liquefy button!" Rainbow calls out in a voice slightly distorted.
Someone is messing up with the alternate dimension thing in the computer room but it isn't Scootaloo. It's Pinkie Pie who is trying to make a fruit smoothie. The blender still holds the Video Game Colt but the pink pony adds in a green substance. One and a half avocados are sitting on the desk along with a jar that said 'Total Loaded'.
As Pinkie press buttons on the blender, she exclaims, "Trying to make a real fruit smoothie here. What gives?"The mare kept on working. Suddenly, Classic Rainbow appears in the room along with Daring Do, Firefly and The Cuuuuuuudge, "Oh hi! Got any bee pollen or something?"
Pinkie presses another button. This time, an annoyed Rainbow appears next to the portal, followed by the Mare Do-Well. The real one snaps, "Pinkie! Stop messing with my alternate universe portal thing!"
"Oh, well, I'm trying to replenish, electrolytes, if that's okay."
Pinkie presses another button on the blender. Without warning, she and the portal are gone from sight with Rdolphence. Rainbow looks impressed; all of her AU selves are here in one place. This could mean something.
"Wow! Check out all these Rainbow Dash-related faces! What an all-star cast!" Rainbow exclaims eagerly. "Oh man, I got an idea! Let's form a super group and record a number one jam!"
Of course, the Rainbow clones groan, not liking the idea. Crono is heard saying, "Yeah, I guess so..."
"If we gotta," Firefly said with a sigh.
Rainbow grins as she stood in the recording studio. As music begins to play, the mare begins singing.
Rainbow: There's a crazy world of e-mails in this crazy world, oh
We now see a reversed view of Rainbow.
Checkin' 'em down, checkin' 'em down...
Crono is standing next to the Mare Do_Well and Firefly as the first one sings.
Crono: I hope it's from a colllllllt!
Firefly winces and frowns at Crono on the last world. We now see every Rainbow Dash from the universes that were visited in the recording studio, singing (with Mare Do-Well's words appearing in speech bubbles next to her).
All Rainbow Dashes: Save the last email for Rainbow Dash!
We see Daring Do mumbling as she sings.
Daring Do: Let the little foals go.
We see Vector Rainbow Dash in the field that has blue lines running above and below it.
Vector Rainbow Dash: I HOPE THEY DON'T A SPLODE
All the Rainbow Dashes begin to sing once more.
All Rainbow Dashes: Save the last email for Rainbow—
We see Firefly singing before the 'Dash' part.
—Dash!
Firefly: Save the last email for Rainbow Dash!
The Cuuuuuuudge fades in from the right as she sings in a high voice with vibrato.
The Cuuuuuuudge: Save the last email for meeeee!
We see the Mare Do-Well in a comic panel in front of a green background that slides into the upper left corner towards the end of the Cuuuuuuudge's line.
Mare Do-Well: Save the last email!
Now we see every Rainbow Dash as the camera zooms out during Rainbow Dash's line, "Yes, all my Rainbow Dash clones represents. Sesquicentennial e-mail, 2011…2012...err, I mean whatever!"
The music stops as the paper comes down, bringing the chapter/e-mail to a close.
As piano music plays we see Caramel holding a pear covered with eyeballs on head with coffee streaming down his face. We look at the pear with the eyes goggling and another shot of the pear from behind the stallion with one hoof raise up.
We see a close up of Caramel's head then goes back to the original shot. Pinkie appears, speaking in a fake backwards sounding voice that is subtitles, "Caramel, if you aren't going to eat that eyeball pe..." The pink pony clears her throat before speaking normally with no subtitle. "Perhaps you should give it to a pony whose could."
Caramel, distressed, said, "Not sure what's going on, Pinkie, but I prefer not to explain what I just did in my coat!"
We see Daring Do sitting in a boat in a lake, holding a stick with a fishing line tied to the end that is hanging over the side. Rainbow appears in the boat, exclaiming, "Whoa! A fishing trip with the adventure hero Daring Do! Now my life is complete."
"Hey, morning, Rainbow! Say hello to my tackle box!" Daring Do exclaims while motioning to the tackle box.
"Oh hey tackle box. I got to say, Daring Do. I am a big fan."
"Well, if you would sign right here on the dotted line, the adoption can be completed!"
"You wanna adopt me? Oh, this is going to be awesome!" Rainbow squeals as Daring Do holds up a form. But before the mare can begin signing, she disappears from sight. Rainbow is heard echoing slightly, "Aw horse feathers!"
The End
Author's note
Whoa; that is a lot of Rainbow Dashes and alternate universes! And thus we reached the 150th e-mail! In the next chapter/email, Rainbow herself crashes a senior prom. Read, review and suggest!