Rainbow Dash's E-Mails: bottom 10

"This email is making fun of you."Rainbow sang as she brings up the first e-mail. Let's see whom she got.

Rainbow

What do you think of Firefly? ,from Ponyland that is if you two were to meet accidently though .

Anyway though moving on did you watch the macy's thanksgiving day parade I was stunned that the Power Rangers MegaForce made an appearance on TV made me feel like a kid in a candy shop anyway who or what TV show are you a fan of ? Take your time though no need to rush it , and one final question . Who is more random me or Pinkie Pie ?

Your's Truely ,
Adam

P.S. Oh and Rainbow maybe one day we could get together if and when we can so yea love ya though XOXOXO

Rainbow chuckles as she types in, explaining, "To be honest, Firefly, my ancestor, passed away centuries ago before I was born. If we were to meet though, it would've been 20%...no, scratch that! 100% awesome! Also, why do we need the Macy's Thanksgiving thing when we can do that stuff here in Equestria? Now then, as for TV show, did you see the Knightshade cancelled pilot episode?"

Rainbow screen the screens as she continues, "As far as who is random, no pony can beat the queen of randomness Pinkie Pie. Now as for your P.S...that depends on my mood; next e-mail!"

Subject: Bottom 10
To Dumbow Lame
What is your bottom 10?

From some pony whose is more awesome than you

Rainbow shook her head, this e-mail insults her big time. Not only that, the mare saw some 'typos' in there.

"Oh hay, this pony made a lot of types. Let's see what I can do..." Rainbow said as she begins 'revising'. She changes 'Dumbow Lame' to 'Rainbow Dash'. "I think they forgot this..." The mare puts in 'the future Wonderbolt' after her own name. "Right, they also got this wrong."

Rainbow changes 'some pony who is more awesome than you' to 'some pony that is a colt' with the last part being italicized and in red. The mare remarks, "All right, there we go." She then begins to type, some of the words are in pink, while saying, "Wow, Simon...you sound like a pretty nice colt, so I think I will answer your question very much free of charge. Now here is 'Rainbow Dash's Bottom 10' as follows..."

---

We see Rainbow Dash's Cloudsdale as the subject begin. The logo for 'Rainbow Dash's Bottom 10' appears from the top of the screen. We hear the mare explaining, "Number 10 is very much easy. Dry T-Shirt Contests," We see a contest flyer for J. Colts Bars and Sometimes Grill flying from the top, "Seriously? You can never find a more degrading lame contest or something that is a large waste of not water at all."

As the flier leaves, Rainbow continues on, "Now creeping in at number 9 is that creepy Pinkie Pie lookalike creature that lived in Pinkie Pie's secret dungeon underneath Sugarcube Corner since we made 'Cupcakes'."

---

We hear dramatic music playing as Rainbow uneasily opens a familiar door that leads to the secret dungeon that Pinkie Pie has underneath Sugarcube Corner for some reason. When the mare opens it, she sees what looks like her pink friend, except with her mane and tail flattened and she has a creepy smile on her face.

The creature, known as Pinkamena Diane Pie, then said creepily, "Your number just came uuuuuup!"

Rainbow screams in terror and slams the door. She begins to bounce around, saying the word 'brr' around like mad until the mare stops barely. That Pinkie Pie creature creep her out!

---

"For the record, if this was a bottom 11 list (If I liked going one step below) the jibblies or the brrs would definitely occupy the number 11 spot on the list." Rainboew said as the numbers 10 and 9 shift up to show '11. The Jibbles/Brrs' (Not in bottom 10) in gray; Number 11 leaves as 9 and 10 goes back to their former positions. "Now number 8 is something you ponies should pay close attention to at all times: Emails with more than one 'Fwd:' and 'Re:' in the Subject line."

---

"Get out of my way because I'm checking some e-mail!" Rainbow exclaims in her computer room as she press enter so an e-mail will appear. To her annoyance, the subject line fills up the screen that consists of entirely of 'Fwd' and 'Re' and it kept scrolling. "Oh, horse feathers! Let me guess: 'oh, hey, that's so true, you saw it on the news!' Or 'hey, it sounds like a crazy idea but I figure it's worth a short!'"

---

"Right, a shot in the flank maybe," Rainbow's voice remarks bitterly as we go back to Cloudsdale. "For number seven, it's something that has been going on for way WAY too long: miniature version of already bite-sized food stuff."

---

We see an ad for Liquidy Red Jello as that annoying Jello donkey Gello appears, saying, "Hey there! Guess whose birthday it is today!" A question mark appears "You got it, it's mine and..."

Gello was cut off as the lights are turned off, the donkey winces in pain as an electric shock noise plays. A miniature version of him named Nello appears as he said happily, much to her anger, "Nope, Gello, sorry but it's my birfday. I'm 1 years old. My name is Nello for new Liquidy Red Jello bite-siz..."

The announcer interrupts as he said, "Liquidy Red Jello Bite-Size Gelloers are perfect for foals whose are just born!" A foal emerges from a mountain of that Gelloers stuff before ducking down brain. "And scalding hot chocolate," We pull back to reveal the jello stuff on top of piles of waffles which catches on fire. "Yeah, you don't have to deal with mountain strain with this stuff!"

We see a mouth straining to eat full-size jello with a caption that said 'Got Mouth Strain?' with a red circle before we see a line 'no' symbol drawn through it'. The symbol rolls away as the jello changes to a Gelloer. The mouth smiles as the caption now reads, 'Hay No!'

"Hey, I make good earpugs as well!" Nello said happily.

Gello of course isn't happy at all that some pony is taking his thunder. He flies in and knocks Nello away while yelling, "Get the Tartarus out here, you little freak!" The donkey winces as the electrical shock noise came back.

The commercial came to a pause, the word 'PAUSE' shows up on the bottom of the screen.

---

Returning to Cloudsdale, Rainbow's voice said, "And Number Six: the foul Stench of a Wet Cat."

---

Rarity's cat Opalscence shivers like mad as she is soaking wed. The cat is standing next to a ladder and a cup along with a sign that said 'KICK THE CAT INTO THE CUP' - 5 BITS'. I think we all know what's going on here."

---

Back in Cloudsdale, Rainbow's voice said, "And number five...err, not..." The music stops, "Pigeon." We hear a pigeon cooing as if the mare cannot say what she truly said out of fear of getting 'dropped on'. "Yeah, those birds eat breadcrumbs and take their bird crap on ponies. Very funny stuff, yeah...NUMBER FOUR!"

The music starts as Rainbow continues, "I recall one time when I had to hug a tree."

---

Pinkie frowns as she watch her friend Rainbow Dash hugging a tree and not by choice. The pink pony snaps, "Keeeep on hugging it, Dashie!"

"How in Equestria did you get me to hug this tree in the first place?" Rainbow asks Pinkie in a matter of bewilderment.

"I said keep on hugging it! Hug it!"

"And why am I bothering continuing to do this?"

"Keep on hugging it, hug it down!" Pinkie remarks to Rainbow sternly some more.

"Hay, I don't even like this tree that much." Rainbow said to Pinkie with a frown on her face.

---

"Oh yeah, we're getting to the good ones now." Rainbow's voice remarks as we return to Cloudsdale once more. "For Number 3, it's the ridiculus ideas of giving pony dessert dangerous names. Something like 'Cupcakedac Arrest'."

The picture that has the Cupcakedeac Arrest appears as a mare voice spoke up, "Wow, that looks sinful."

"Or...CAREFUL OR THIS BROWNIE MIGHT KILL YOU!" Rainbow's voice booms as the picture of the said brownie appears.

"Wow; that is rich."

"Or the most lease appetizing name of all time...Chocolate the Abomination's Revenge!" Rainbow's voice said as a picture of the desert appears.

"Is this fat-free?" The mare voice asks curiously.

"Oh shut up, you mare!" Rainbow's voice snaps as the pictures slide away from sight. "Now slumming in at number two are lame songs that try to pass off 'la la's', 'na na's' and 'doot do's as legit lyics as heard in Knightshade's very bizarre album 'Feed the Foals'.

We see an album art of 'Feed the Foals' appearing as we hear the band sing the song.

Knightshade Solo: Na, na, la la laaaaa,
Hey, hey! Doo-doot doo!
Na, na, la la laaaaa,
Hey, hey! Doo-doot doo!

Knightshade: Na, na, la la laaaaa,
Hey, hey! Doo-doot doo!

We hear a record scratching as the song came to a stop, the album art slides away. Rainbow's voice groans, "Oh man, what were those stallions thinking?! I mean, that's more like 'We need to feed our foals so we go and made this terrible as Trixie song'. And now the Number One item on Rainbow Dash's Bottom 10 is Th..."

"Hey Dashie!" Pinkie interrupts Rainbow happily as we see her nearby. "How about my bottom..."

"Pinkie, no offense, but no pony wants to hear your bottom 10 right now."

"No you silly filly! I don't have a Bottom 10! I mean my bottom! See?" Pinkie turns around to do a flank dance while singing, "flankdance again, like the rhythm's down your pants now!"

Seeing Pinkie shake her button made Rainbow horrified and disgusted. As Pinkie watch on, the mare groans a bit and make vomiting noise then she threw up right on her keyboard. Not a pretty sight.

"Ugh, oh man." Rainbow said weakly. "And thus the Number One item on Rainbow Dash's Bottom 10 is...The..." She then types up something, "cleaning your own vomit off your own keyboard."

Rainbow clears the screen as she continues, "Simon, you owe me 7 and 50 bits. Also, bring me some paper towels...as well as some tweezers. I think I see some jello small size in there..."

The paper comes down as the e-mail/chapter comes to an end. After a while, Rainbow, as if her fans were expecting some Easter Eggs, adds weakly, "No...there isn't any Easter eggs. I am not up to it now...go away..."

The End

Author's note
Well, that appears to be a bit awkward with the ending being disgusting. In the next chapter/e-mail, Rainbow gathers some records for a record book. Read, review and suggest.

Pinkamena Diane Pie is an OC of greenrob (that looks like Pinkie Pie) who plays the horrible painting in 'Cupcakes 2'.