Rainbow Dash's E-Mails: garage sale

Rainbow is back on the computer, doing another e-mail while singing, "Here comes another email that I'll answer for you! Here comes another email that I'll answer for you!"

Dear Rainbow dash.

if you where locked in a closet with Soarin and had to wait for someone to open it what would you do.

Your friend Greenrob.

"Hey! How dare you suggest that I, Rainbow Dash, am...wait, what?" Rainbow blinks as she looks at the question, then looks sheepish, "Oh, oh! What happened if I was...yeah, thought you meant something else; to be honest, we either talk, play games or do something; Not that I'm...suggesting something on the last part; Yeah...next question!"

Subject: garage sale=money!
hey there rainbow dash!
I definitely think you should have a garage sale! I mean, think of all da cool things you could get with that money or bits!

bat (right, that's my real name)

Rainbow reads the first line very fast as it is written. She over-emphasizes one of the words and doesn't bother reading the part in parentheses. The mare instead said, "Something I prefer not to real." She then begins to type. "So what kind of 'da cool things you're referring to, Batty; 'Da bomb' or 'da coltz' or even..."

Rainbow pauses not typing as she said, "Uh..." She then types in, "'da hood'; No way, I don't want any of that stuff." We see T-Shirts with the phrases incorporating each term.

Rainbow clears the screen as she continues on, "I got to tell you a thing or so about garage sales. Ever get the feeling that ponies just got lazy taking the trash out? In other, they just stopped right there on the driveway and begin putting price tags on stuff? I mean...come on, isn't it a bit suspicious that there's a one-letter difference between 'garage sale' and 'garbage' sale'? Except...just don't ever say 'garbage' like that. In my opinion, that's the only joke that mother ponies have and they can keep it for all I care. Now then, there's the issue of what kind of folks go to garage sales: the bottom feeders, that's for sure."

---

Indeed, we see Rainbow having her own garage sale in the middle of Ponyville (though a sign is shown with the words 'GARBAGE SALE' though the B is crossed out) with merchandise and found being found with various price tags. Twilight trots up.

"First off, there's the haggler." Rainbow's voice explains as the words 'THE HAGGLER' appears in the middle of the screen with a bowler derby on it fo a moment. "This is the kind of pony who spends his or her day trying to talk you down from a quarter to 22 bits just for some worthless piece of horsecrap."

Indeed, we see Rainbow talking with Cherry Berry who is holding one ugly doll. The latter said, "All right, I will give you two thin dime bits for this pantyhose doll thing."

"First off, that is an Aunt Bert." Rainbow points out to Cherry Berry who squints at the doll itself. "Second, that baby is worth way more than the quarter I'm asking her for. Hay, I paid six fifty for the doll when I got her new...and them's 1998 bits!"

"Oh. Maybe if she were say wearing a troll outfit, a witch's hat, something..."

"Tell you what; she will go for 24 bits."

"22 and a half bits, that's my final offer!" Cherry Berry insists to Rainbow in determination.

Rainbow smirks as she comments, "You filly...just got an Aunt Bert."

"Next off is the lurker'." Rainbow's voice explains next. 'THE LURKER' appears in the middle with a candle and two skulls on it for a moment. "In other words, it's the shady night manager at some night store type that shades around all day but doesn't bother buying anything." Indeed, we see Derpy looking at some merchandise though doing her best to stay clear from Granny Smith. "I mean is she even there to be seen at all?"

"Hey, look at this can of peas, Nelveatica." Granny Smith said to Derpy, freaking her out. "Mind buying it for me?"

"Uh, Granny Smith? I kinda find it hard to explain how freaked out I am right now." Derpy said to Granny Smith uncomfortably.

"Don't know why especially since you got this can of peas to look forward to and all."

Rainbow, frowning, trots up while saying, "Coem on, if you can't buy anything, you got to go! You're driving all my best customers off!"

Granny Smith shrugs as she trots off with the can of peas. Derpy shudders while saying, "Wow, I really need a chemical shower after talking to her. Do we have an emergency eyewash station in Ponyville?"

"Well, at least Granny Smith has brought something...lurker! Why don't you go back to the night store!"

"And last but not least..." Rainbow's voice said as we see Twilight talking with Big Macintosh. The words 'BIG MACINTOSH' is seen with an apple in place of the 'O' and a towel handing off the 'H'. For some reason, the stallion is holding some stuff labeled 'Great for foal!'. The two are in front of a picnic basket that has more of the stuff, except for one that is labeled 'Great for Granny'. "...there is Big Macintosh."

"Big Mac, do I even want to know why you're buying the 'great for foal' items?" Twilight ask Big Macintosh uneasily.

"Nnope, rather you don't, Miss Sparkle." Big Macintosh said to Twilight uneasily.

---

Rainbow types on her computer as she said, "Of course, obviously, wasting your Saturday morning just to sell 3 and 19 bits worth of trash isn't one cool real reason to have a garage sale. Nope, it's to get ponies out of their homes so that the Cutie Mark Crusaders can steal from them!"

---

We see Pinkie's home which is a wreck more so than usual. The CMC are in there near a large bag while dealing stuff for Rainbow. Scootaloo hums while stuffing the cow lamp into the bag.

"Okay, what else can we done swipe?" Apple Bloom asks curiously and amused while looking for something else to swipe.

Just then Pinke pops out of the bag asking, "All right if you put this cow lamp back, girls?" She throw the cow lamp out. "We are running out of room in here. Anyway, you won't get much for that thing anyhow. I mean, not even a real cow for the love of Celestia."

---

"See what I mean?" Rainbow asks while typing back on her computer. "That way, we can make one huge killing when we sell the stuff back to those the unsuspecting ponies a few weeks later at one inflated price."

---

Back at the garage sale, Twilight and Rainbow are near a familiar answering machine on a table. The purple unicorn comments while seeing it, "Perfect! I've always wanted an answering machine since my previous one disappeared for some reason."

Just then the answering machine spoke in Twilight's voice, "Have a great day at Twilight's! Please leave me a message!" Of course, the purple unicorn gave a suspicious angry glare to Rainbow who looks around shifty and nervously; looks like she's been caught.

"Heh heh, see, perfect; it already knows your name even. Heh, oooh! Heh, eee; Oh, hmm; Peow," Rainbow exclaims as she flies off. Twilight smirks a bit.

"More like, pree-ow."

The paper comes down, bringing this e-mail to an end. Twilight glances to Pinkie, with a huge price tag over herself calling, "Pinkie Pie for sale, we got one! Slightly used and all confused! We can't give these ponies away!" She begins to lean. "I will take it!" The pink pony leans the other way. "I will take twelve!" Now Pinkie stood upright. "Gallop 1 home today!"

Twilight shook her head while going over to Big Macintosh, commentating, "This garage sale is more like a 'gar-bahge' one."

"Hey, dah dah dah dah dah," Rainbow exclaims as she appears suddenly, "Moms only!"

"Rainbow Dash, I'm a mother, remember?"

"Good! I'm okay to say it then!" Big Macintosh exclaims suddenly. This made Rainbow and Twilight shocked, disturbed and confused by what the stallion just said. They prefer not to even know.

The End

Author's note
What an interesting day at the garage sale, folks. In the next chapter/e-mail, Rainbow talks about what would happen if she does some of her previous e-mails over...though Pinkie change places with Apple Bloom, making things complicated. Read, review and suggest!