Rainbow Dash's E-Mails: Season Three
Chapter 1: 1. animal
Load Full Story Next ChapterAuthor's note
It's been a long time but Rainbow Dash's E-Mails is back, better than ever and with new questions and a season. Not sure if this happens before 'Curse of the Demon Pony', season three or what...I am just firing into the air at this point.
With that said, let the fun begin!
Rainbow Dash's E-Mails: animal
It's been a long time since the virus disaster that almost destroyed all of Equestria. The place where Rainbow Dash usually sat at, along with the Flutterpony 399 is now empty, clean spots left by the monitor and the evidence are evident against the slightly faded wall and table, with wind being heard and a tumbleweed rolling past.
Just then a familiar voice spoke, "There was a time of desolation, chaos and other stuff. It pits brother against brothers...foals having foals. Suddenly, one day, from the right side of the screen..." Rainbow appears holding something that is folded up. "...came a heroic mare of action."
Rainbow smirks as she sat down at her desk and put the object down while saying, "A mare...with a plastic rectangle...THAT IS A NEW LAPTOP COMPUTER, BABY!"
Sure enough, Rainbow unfolds her new computer. The words 'AwesomeX 567' is seen on the screen, following by a note and the logo that appears. The screen soon became a black screen with a square bracket in the top left.
"Oh yeah, a classy start up noise," Rainbow remarks as she imitates the start up noise. The mare smiles happily, all that time of whining then going out for donations and other such before her friends finally had enough and chipped in to buy her a new computer is not for nothing, "Dong, ding! Yeah, check out all these speculations, folks and ponies!"
As we hear music, we see the set of Spike and Pinkie's game show, with a silhouetted AwesomeX on the pedestal. The camera zooms in as the computer is seen while Rainbow spoke up.
"The AwesomeX 567 weighs in at an extremely portable 42 pounds..." Rainbow explains as the words (along with LBS) is seen in the top right. "as well as an impressive battery life..."
"We see the words 'several', 'color monitor' and '2 PB Hard Drive' at top of the screen. Rainbow continues, "Of 1 and a half of 10 minutes, take it or leave it, Bronies!" We see the words 'WARNING: +/- 5 MINUTES BATTERY LIFE' under the first slogan, "The AwesomeX 567..."
'512K per RAM' is shown next to the battery life warning with Rainbow finishing, "...by Pony Compy'." Now we see the slogan 'About time, a cool computer for your lap' at the bottom of the screen next to the Pony Company logo. We can hear applause.
"Okay, time to see if this awesome bad pony can check some e-mails. I betcha I got some since the destruction." Rainbow said excitedly. She types in 'rainbowdash_email dot exe' as with her previous two computers.
Sure enough, the first e-mail appears...
Rainbow
Who is your best friend out of your other friends like Twilight Applejack Pinkie Rarity or Fluttershy ? also just wanted to let you know that if anyone calls you rainbow crash i'll be there count on it always be there for ya cause in a way i care for you but anyway though did you ever think of taking scoots and becoming sisters? since she has no family at least that's what i'm thinking
Adam
After Rainbow finish reading the e-mail, she comments, "Welcome back, Adam! Did you miss me? I sure miss you...and your weird questions. Anyway, thanks for the kind words. Now to answer your question, not sure what best friend to pick; that's like choosing my foals, if I have ever get any; I say all six of them, to say heartbreak and time."
Rainbow clears the screen as she continues, "Now, as long as Scoots go, I am not sure. I have never sees her family...or ask her about her private life. I will get back to you on that; next e-mail!"
Subject: made up animal
Dear Rainbow Dash,
What would you be like if you were an animal that you made up
Sincerely,
Potato Jr.
After reading the e-mail, Rainbow responds, "Give me a break, Potato Jr. What would your old stallion, Potato Sr., think of such typing and such; and poor Potato mom. 'What would you be like as if...' Better hope you are into sports, for their sake, pal." The pony stops typing, "But enough about them."
Rainbow clears the screen then goes back to typing, saying, "Well, Po-tat-to Jr., why if I ever been my made up own animal, I probably be the most awesomest made-up animal that I ever thought of. Why, I would have the cool animal parts, accessories, etc. Stuff liked claws, horns, tusks, tentacles, power doors, the 15 year carriage warranty, proboscis, and the segmented eyes."
We see the field that shows Rainbow Dash with three weird looking eyes, two horns, two tusks, a proboscis, 4 claws on each hoof, as well as four tentacles. Pinkie is there, asking, "Excuse me, Weird Dashie Monster! Got the times?"
Rainbow attempts to respond, but all she does is making weird gargling sounds and foaming at the mouth. This causes Pinkie Pie to step back in shock. That's creepy!
Rainbow, realizing something, quickly types in, "Wait, can't talk with all that proboscis, horse crap. Especially when it comes to 'Do you know the times' anyhow; let's see...I can be one of those deep-sea fangly fishes."
We see the sea in a Activated by Spike style as Rainbow is heard, "As in the kind that got Hearth's Warming Eve lights all over, as well as those custom lures hanging over their heads."
We see some sort of angler fish with flashing lights adjourning its body as well as a lure that looks like Pinkie Pie's head that spoke, "Right this way, ponies; There's free puppies, ginger snaps," A fish version of Spike swims on past, "Pockets PCs..."
"Of course, I will also have one 20% awesome back deck on my back that can be used for dinner and dancing!"
We see a deck on the fish's back. A stallion is dancing on it with Rainbow, with some Activated by Spike Techno-ish music plays on. The AbS mare version spoke up, "Hey, Foal Styles! Wanna watch this pony bench-press...a lot of weights."
The Pinkie Lure lowers onto the deck while calling back, "Yeah, Dashie, turn it out, turn it out big."
"Wait, hang on..." Rainbow is heard upon realizing as the mare on deck disappears. "If I am already the fanglyfish, how the hay would enjoy the dinner, dancing and all that cool stuff?"
As the Pinkie lure starts 'dancing' while the 'Spikefish' swims by once more, we zooms out to see a full view of the 'fanglyfish'.
Rainbow sighs back at her computer then types in, "Perhaps I am overthinking this whole thing. I gotta come up with something cool and maybe the rest will fall in as itself. I could be called...'The Cuuuuuuudge'." The mare pronounces each letter of the Cuuuuuuudge' as if say another word.
We now see the Enclosure with a sign up front that said
Come on, for the love of Celestia,
DON'T feed The Cuuuuuuudge
"The Cuuuuuuudge!" Rainbow booms. We see what appears to be a huge, Smooze-Colored, gelatinous, bubble like creature that has the mare's face on it landing in the enclosure. "Ugh, gross! No, no Cuuuuuuudge!"
We see Fluttershy coming from the right to outside the enclosure, saying, "Oh my! Look at the Cuuuuuuudge!"
"Let's see...perhaps I could be...the Rainbow Steckled Mightymug?"
We see an open book appearing that has a picture of a rainbow gastropod that has a pattern with Rainbow's mane on it as well as the huge lips. The books read 'R is for Rainbow Steckled Mightymung'.
"No, no, no!" Rainbow exclaims in frustration, not impressed or amused at all with this. The lips, eyes and tails become annotated with the words 'no' when the mare says it; "Perhaps the...the flaneback?"
We now see some yellow lined paper that has a picture of a large blob creature that has Rainbow's eyes, horns, duck feet, one of the mare's wings, and a soolnd with 3 toes for the other winds. The text shows 'el flaneback'.
"What the hay?" Rainbow asks in annoyance as the flaneback gets a speech bubble that said the same thing, "Ugh; why do these dumb things come out like ugly looking blobs?!"
Rainbow scratches her mane; she is having major trouble thinking up a made-up animal. The mare types while saying, "Okay, must look good for the AwesomeX, got a reputation to keep. Now then, my made p animal...shall be called..."
In Cloudsdale, we hear Rainbow saying, "Rdolphence."
Sure enough, we see a rainbow colored creatures with four legs, blue wings, orange arms with red claws, an orange tongue, some cute teeth and a pattern that looks like Rainbow's face appearing. Music plays.
"Whoa, I did it, yeah!" Rainbow is heard exclaiming as Rdolphence then begins to dance eagerly. "Check out that Rdolphence, ponies! Awww, that guy is soooo cute. I want one! Rdolphence is 10 times more cuter than that stupid ugly old washed up Spike I used to have."
"Say, what?!" A familiar voice snaps furiously in the computer room. Sure enough, there's Spike, angry by what Rainbow just said as the dragon was coming by to visit.
"Oh look. General Past His Cute Prime himself." Rainbow remarks to Spike dryly.
"Did you say what you meant and insulted me by it?!"
"Yeah, you heard me, and I stand by it all the way!"
"Ugh, one of these days, one of these days..." Spike growls angrily as he storms off. Rainbow rolls her eyes at this, what is his deal?
Turning back to her new computer, she stroke it while Rainbow said, "Don't worry about him, AwesomeX. That's only Spike who uses 'new computers'. Ha! Hey, paper! Come on down to meet your new bro!" The paper begins to edge down. "Come on, paper..."
The paper edge some more. Rainbow can tell that it's edge so the mare encourages, "Come on, it's okay." The paper edges back a bit. "No, come on! Come on, it's okay."
The paper edges down a bit while Rainbow insists, "Come on, AwesomeX won't bite you or tear at whatever edges you got." The paper itself edges down some more. "That's it! You can do it!"
The paper comes down all the way, as Rainbow smiles saying, "AwesomeX, this here is the paper who lets me know that I stopped being so darn funny!"
The paper comes down even more as it said, 'Enough, come on, Rainbow Dash. Click here to e-mail rainbow dash in the reviews'.
"Right, sorry. Bye everypony!" Rainbow exclaims as the e-mail/chapter comes to a close.
The Pinkie lure and the dancing stallion are at a disco, Activated by Spike style. Two disco balls hang from the ceiling as some rough music plays.
"Hey there, Foal Styles! Nice dancing club, right?" The Pinkie Pie Lure ask the stallion eagerly. "Got a phone at your place?"
We see a pedestal on the game show once more with the fanglyfish on it. We can hear the voice over, "Second-place contestants get deep sea fanglyfish; Promotional considerations by Rdolphence; Rainbow Dash's wardrobe made by Awesome Styles upon Styles.
We see some text appearing that said...
MISS DASH'S WARDROBE
PROVIDED BY
Awesome Styles
upon
Styles
The Pinkie Lure said as the words appears on the bottom of the screen, "Steep prices and trees, fillies!"
The End
Author's note
Rainbow is back and this chapter ends up great. In the next chapter/e-mail, the mare gives advice on how to be a radio talk show host. Read, review and suggest.