A warning, this chapter isn't funny.

Beta-read by skullcrusher206

-Chapter 4: Then the Government Got Involved-

Dib was brought with the owners of the car that had approached him at the end of the last chapter. The owners asked him to get into the trunk for his safety, and Dib hesitantly obliged.

When the car stopped inside of a parking structure, he was brought out of the trunk and confronted with another car, given the same instructions as before.

The car traveled the same length as before, and stopped inside another parking structure, Dib was given the same instructions as before, and this went on until Dib stopped counting and began wondering what the hell was going on.

Dib knew that this great exchange had come to a halt when he was taken out of the trunk and he couldn't see any other car besides the one he had been in. He knew very well that he was underground as well, as he saw no light other than the bulbs on the ceiling.

"Follow me," said the man who had driven Dib to this area, and he walked over to a door in the general corner of the room. This man was obviously with some official branch of the government, which crashed Dib's metaphorical train of suspicions into a metaphorical brick wall.

Dib followed the man with great enthusiasm toward the door. "You know about the aliens?"

"'Aliens' is a very simple term to describe them by, like how some dork who only paid attention to the ending of the last Indiana Jones movie would call those guys aliens," said the man.

"Don't even get me started on that! I hated that movie!" said Dib as the man put his hand on the door's handlebar.

The man turned around and looked at the boy disapprovingly, then he opened the door to reveal a room bathed in an eerie red light. Dib could make out three shapes in the room, but couldn't quite understand what they were. One of them was about a fourth the size of the other two.

"We can't exactly turn any actual lights on in this room, unless you think you can comprehend something beyond human... uh... comprehension, what you see may shock you," said the man, who now appeared as a black outline.

"I've seen aliens, giant lice monsters, the inside of my own head, and planets used as space vessels, I think I can handle it," said Dib.

Strangely, the man simply nodded, "Very well," he flicked a light switch.

The fluorescent lights on the ceiling flickered on. The room Dib was in had a very cold, white feel to it, the shapes he saw earlier were, as an understatement, shocking to see in full.

Of course, these were just ponies and a baby dragon, but they just looked strange from Dib's perspective.

One pony was a gray cross-eyed Pegasus with a yellow mane, and the other was a white unicorn with a blue-and-cyan mane that reminded Dib lightly of electricity, it also appeared she was wearing headphones and sunglasses.

The baby dragon looked like how Dib would expect a baby dragon to look, just not quite as intimidating. Less intimidating than a four-week-old kitten, in fact.

"You're serious?" said Dib, looking at the man next to him. "You're absolutely serious? This is all you had to show me? Ponies and some dog in a dragon costume?"

"DOG?" said the baby dragon, Dib jumped.

"A little boy, then?" said Dib worriedly.

The dragon glared at Dib.

Finally, the white pony snorted and laughed. "I'm sorry, I just couldn't hold it in, your reaction was hilarious!"

"Animatronics!" said Dib, glaring at the man. "I know this is a joke!"

"There's no place for jokes here, son, that dragon breathes real fire, that Pegasus can indeed fly, and that unicorn... DJ's..."

"DJ's?" said Dib.

"That's what we found her doing," said the man. "When we found her, she was fooling around with a turntable on top of the Empire State building."

"And the Pegasus?" said Dib, deciding to play along with this joke.

"She sorta got hit by an airplane, didn't you hear about the crash?" the man looked at Dib questioningly.

"I was out cold for anything that happened an hour ago," said Dib.

The man sighed. "Tell me, Dib, if you can, do you know anything about the multiverse? Life beyond the stars? The ability to shit rainb-?"

"TOO DEEP!" shouted the dragon. "That's FAR TOO DEEP, this is a humor story after all."

"Shut up!" the man hissed at the dragon. "The military is still on my ass for taking you into custody, if you were to be a decible too loud, we would all be FUCKIN' SCREWED!"

The lights went red again, then flickered off.

"Motherf-" the man began, but was interrupted by the sound of a sharp blow to the head.

"Four more! Get 'em on the ground!" said a deep voice.

"YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!" shouted the voice of the unicorn.

There was a sharp "plink" noise, Dib recognized this as the sound of a tranquilizer gun, then the sound of a body hitting the floor.

"I'm a hostage! I'm a hostage!" Dib shouted, and he ran for the door, but he was tackled to the ground and handcuffed.

"Don't shoot! I'll come quietly!" said the voice of the dragon, but he was also hit with a tranquilizer, and there was the sound of a lighter body hitting the floor.

"That everyone?" said a voice.

"Hang on, there's one more," said the deep voice from earlier.

There was the sound of frantic movement, then the loud thump of someone banging their head. "Oww..."

"Are you awake?" said one of the voices from earlier.

"Yeah," said the nasally voice of the one who had hurt their head, obviously the cross-eyed Pegasus.

There was the clicking of an empty chamber. "Fuck, out of darts, hold still please."

"Oka-" there was a loud smack.

"She's out."

"Good, let's get 'em over to Washington for questioning."

A napkin full of ether was put to Dib's mouth, and the last words he could hear were, "Well, that's a waste of good hand cuffs..."

When Dib woke up, he was in a chair in a room tinged with blue light, across from him was the source of the blue light, a room that was separated by a thick layer of shatterproof glass, something peculiar about this room was that it had a blue apparatus that looked like four giant pre-drill bits protruding from a generator each. In front of this strange device was a chair with headphones attached to it that were connected with cables to the generators.

Dib overheard conversation from behind him.

"So, you really think that those things we got over in New York are aliens?" said a gruff voice.

"I am ninety-eight percent sure, and if not aliens, the result of a cross-dimensional 'hiccup', so to speak," a higher-pitched voice replied.

Someone implicitly walked into the room, along with a heavy piece of machinery on wheels.

"So what do we have?" said the higher-pitched voice.

"Everyone's clean," said a slightly lower-pitched voice. "No radiation on any of them, but it seems that this 'unicorn' can withstand a significant level of WPS."

"How significant?"

"I don't know, the machine broke when it surpassed five hundred, we're going to bring her into the test chamber as soon as we can," the man picked up a piece of paper. "Subject name, Vinyl Scratch, ethnicity, unknown, species, 'unicorn', subject number..." the man flipped the paper over. "Two."

"She's only the second person to test this equipment?" said the gruff voice.

"Third, we count zero now," said the man.

"When will we be sending her in?" said the high voice.

"A-sap, we need results as quickly as possible, as soon as we get the DAD working, she can just walk right in when she's ready."

There was the sound of a small horse trotting into the room. "All right, I'm here."

"They're waiting for you, Vinyl, in the test chamberrrr," said the man.

"Something wrong?" said the pony.

"I'm having a seizurrrre, I think it's the lighting from the test chamberrrr, I'm gonna go to the doctorrrr."

The man walked out of the room.

"Where's the entrance?" said the pony.

There was the light noise of a coat shifting, possibly someone pointing their finger to the door into the room that Dib only just noticed, next to the control panel that was up against the wall.

"Thanks," said the pony, and she walked over to the door, Dib recognized her as the unicorn from earlier.

When the pony had gone through the door, a thick blast door closed behind her.

"Right, let's get the amplifier up and running," said the man with the higher-pitched voice, he walked over to the control panel and scanned his retinas.

"Excuse me," said Dib.

The scientist turned to Dib. "What?"

"Why am I here?"

"You were the only one who we could sit down conventionally, we'll let you out in a few moments, your specimen has been processed, and we haven't found any supernatural elements on you, you'll have your mind wiped clean after this test, I'm sure your loved ones can fill you in."

"Fine," said Dib. "I'll just sit here and enjoy the science."

The scientist nodded, then he put a key into the key hole that was uncovered from the retina scan, and turned it.

"Engaging test zero zero zero two of the Dubstep Amplification Device, date August twenty-nine, two-thousand and twelve, subject name, Vinyl Scratch, subject ethnicity, unknown, subject species, inter-planetary."

Vinyl Scratch walked over to the chair in front of the generators and stood on top of it while also getting the headphones on her head with one swift motion.

"Are you with us, Miss Scratch?" said the scientist over the intercom.

Vinyl nodded irritably.

"Very well, engaging," the scientist pushed a button on the control panel. (Sure are a lot of switches to that damn thing, eh?)

The towering pre-drill bits attached to the generators slowly began to spin.

"Beginning at two wubs per second," said the scientist, turning a knob on the control panel very slightly.

Dib heard a rhythmic whirring noise coming from the device.

The scientist picked up a clipboard and began taking notes, Vinyl's expression didn't change much, she just bobbed her head a bit.

"Increasing exponentially to four wubs per second," said the scientist, turning the knob slightly more.

The rhythmic whirring went faster than earlier, Vinyl bobbed her head a bit faster, nothing much more.

"Increasing to sixteen wubs per second," said the scientist, turning the knob a millimeter, the beat went much faster now, it was starting to become catchy.

Vinyl waved her arms at the scientist, implying for him to pick up the pace.

The scientist turned the knob about a centimeter. "Increasing to a hundred-twenty-eight wubs per second."

The tune was now becoming very catchy, the whirring becoming a soft hum, but a greater beat coming from beyond the wubs.

Dib himself began bobbing his head to this faint noise in a similar fashion to Vinyl.

The scientist cranked the enormous knob about a decimeter and twenty-eight millimeters. "Stabilizing at a safe two-thousand and forty-eight wubs per second."

Dib jumped out of his chair and walked quickly up to the control panel. "I did not get dragged all this way for SAFETY, doctor!" Dib pushed the scientist out of the way and cranked the knob to maximum capacity- nine thousand and one wubs per second.

"You fool! You don't understand the power of this machine, and now IT'S OVER NINE THOUSAAAAAAND!" the scientist ran up to the control panel.

Vinyl Scratch, on the other hand, was really bobbing her head to this beat now, so very violently that it looked like her head would fall off of her neck.

"Are you still with us, Vinyl?" said the scientist.

Vinyl Scratch tilted her head, and half-removed one of her head phones.

The shatterproof glass then did something humanly impossible- it shattered.

And man did it shatter, it broke into fragments the size of snowflakes, pure unfiltered dubstep streamed fluidly into the room, its power threw the scientist into the wall, unconscious, but Dib was able to withstand it, he walked slowly to the control panel to turn down the power.

Then it dropped.

The force of this dropping of the bass caused every light in the facility to break, every piece of working machinery exploded, cyan numbers and audio fragments flew through the air, all weaponry in their paths turned a similar color, every unfortunate scientist and soldier in the path of this stream of uninterrupted dubstep was vaporized into green and black glowing dust.

"IT'S BEAUTIFUL!" Dib screamed as the continuous dubstep beam grazed his hair.

"ISN'T IT?" Vinyl replied.

The dubstep bounced off of mirrors (leaving substantial cracks) and recreated every weapon in its path, leaving these weapons glowing cyan-and-green and sparking with electricity.

Eventually, the dubstep flew out of whatever facility they were in and off to parts unknown.

Dib casually walked into the test chamber through the window, as every piece of glass had been crushed into sand. "Should we leave now? I don't think this place is going to stay... quiet- much longer."

"Let me just take one of these things with me," said Vinyl, she turned to one of the generators near the chair and quickly disassembled it with telekinesis, then she put the parts together in the form of a manageable glass-looking glowing cube the size of a human fist.

A quick skip through time brings us to the room where the baby dragon and the pegasus are held, Dib used his head as a battering ram to get the unlocked door open.

"Evening," said the Pegasus dreamily as the baby dragon woke up.

"Morning," said Dib. A faint Klaxon could be heard behind him. "We better go now, pretty soon Mind Heist is going to start playing and we'll have to go along with the tune."

"Right behind you," said the baby dragon drowsily, and he hopped off of the chair he was sleeping in.

-CHAPTER END-