Romance and the Fate of Equestria

Chapter Sixty

Fancypants led Pinkie Pie and Rarity onto a blue wooden balcony on the top floor of a pagoda overlooking a koi pond. Dawn was just around the corner.

"Rarity, I took the liberty of wrangling up some fashion icons like yourself," he said grandly. "I believe you know Hoity Toity. Have you met Photo Finish?"

"Yes," Rarity said, glaring into the photographer's mirrored sunglasses contemptuously.

Hoity Toity lowered his own shades and glanced between the two of them. "Did something happen here? A juicy story, perhaps?"

"Nothing important," Rarity murmured, pulling up a seat at the tiny table; Pinkie and Fancypants joined her. "What are we drinking?"

"Piping hot sake," Fancypants said, producing a bottle and distributing tiny ceramic glasses among the five of them. "Brace yourselves, everypony…"

The balcony rumbled slightly, then took to the air, sailing leisurely over the streets of the Bazaar.

"Sweet Celestia!" Rarity said in alarm.

"The famous sky-tram balconies of Ghoda Pagoda," Fancypants said. "A sunrise tour of the neighborhood. Quite special, wouldn't you say?"

"…Yes," Rarity agreed, peering over the edge nervously; the side of the balcony that had been attached to the building had no railing. "An impressive surprise. Thank you for allowing me to be a part of this, Fancypants."

He raised a sake glass to her. "Anything for my favorite party guest."

"Well, thank you," Rarity said. "I'd forgotten how much I've missed such elegant affairs. It's nice to enjoy some atmosphere and tranquility every now and—OOOOOH! Is that Przewalski?"

The circular stage beneath them was host to a raucous rock concert, the band surrounded by a sea of cheering fans beneath them on every single side. Rarity got on her belly and lowered her head off the edge, to get as close to the concert as possible. She took a second to remember the company she was in, and got to her hooves and turned back to them, embarrassed. Fancypants smirked at her in amusement.

"It's not the band itself, but I am a fan of their singer, Ryu," Rarity confessed. "I don't know how familiar you are with him… he's rather deficient in physical maturity, it's true, but he boasts an impressive vocal range. He should do opera instead of rock. Or rock opera. That would work."

She chuckled weakly at her own rambling and sat back down, shooting a glance at Fancypants that begged him to change the subject.

He nodded to her, understanding. "So, the big news in our little world is Princess Luna's newfound obsession with her Snowdrop project. Hoity Toity, old friend, how's that going?"

"Simply dreadful," Hoity Toity said with distaste. "I'll tell you why she's not getting more support: it's those amateurish Angel sisters. She's using them as her big selling point, but it's apparent that the elder would rather be anywhere else, and the filly? In early appearances, she was pushing the limits of hamminess, but now, she says everything in this unbearable feathery whisper that grates on the ears, you can't understand a word she's saying…"

"Don't you dare disrespect Angel Aquamarine's acting," Rarity said coldly. "I've seen her readings myself. They were rocky at first, I agree, but the princess says she's blossomed into a pitch-perfect imitation of the real Snowdrop's voice, mannerisms, and emotional state."

"Yes, well, what's accurate and what makes good cinema tend to diverge significantly," Hoity Toity said haughtily. "Clearly Luna has no idea what she's doing. Every day, she asks around Canterlot, going 'What do I do now? What's my next step?' She's walking into this blind."

Rarity placed both her hooves on the table and lifted herself up, towering over the others and glaring down at Hoity Toity. "Then get her some decent help, you fool!" she snarled. "Everypony knows you have connections in the film industry, find somepony who can guide Princess Luna through the process, instead of talking smack about one of your sovereigns behind her back!"

She glared at them all as they stared at her in shock. She sighed and leaned back. "Look… think about who you're dealing with. You take it for granted that she's a thousand-year-old all-powerful deity, but on some level she's quite the opposite. Think about it: the Luna who came out of the moon three years ago couldn't possibly be the same pony who went into it a thousand years prior. You snooty rich ponies might live close to the castle and schmooze with royalty on a regular basis, but you don't know Luna like I do. She's a stranger in a strange land, a new soul in an unfamiliar world, an innocent child who misses her best friend. What child doesn't want to make a major motion picture? And since this particular child is the co-ruler of this country and is as wide-eyed and pure of heart as any living being in Equestria, she deserves to get the support she needs to pull it off." She glared yet again, then closed her eyes. "That's… that's my piece. Make of it what you will."

Hoity Toity stammered, taken aback. "I… I only meant… her plans, they're impossible to pull off!"

"She controls the moon and stars," Rarity said condescendingly. "I think she has the power to bring about special effects and location shoots. What she needs… is guidance and nurturing. If only somepony would provide her with a smidgen of the requisite knowledge, she'll have the confidence to proceed."

Photo Finish smirked at Rarity slyly. "I sink zat perhaps our friend Miss Rarity is less concerned for ze 'guidance and nurturing' of ze princess… and more interested in not seeing zis opportunity go to vaste for herself. Surely she vonts exposure for her own verk in makeup and vardrobe?"

"Yes, because everypony knows that's what kind of pony I am," Rarity sneered. "I only care about myself and furthering my own career and getting my hooves on as much money as possible so I can count it every night before I fall asleep. It couldn't possibly be because Princess Luna is a very close personal friend of mine and I love her and I want to make her dream come true. That would be unthinkable! Is that what you're saying, Photo Finish?"

She shrugged. "I, Photo Finish, vos merely stating my opinion."

"Is that so?" Rarity said sweetly. "Well, why don't 'you Photo Finish' take your opinion and shove it up your—"

"Rarity," Fancypants interrupted tensely, chuckling. "May I remind you that this is supposed to be a meeting of polite company?"

"I know," Rarity said, still glaring harshly at Photo Finish. "That's why I was going to say 'reproductive system'."

The balcony suddenly jolted to a halt, set back into the wall of the pagoda.

"Oh! Are we done already?" Rarity said, smiling sarcastically at Photo Finish.

Photo Finish thrust her nose in the air and started marching out. "I sank you for ze chonce to see ze Bazaar from above, Herr Fancypants. I only pray zat next time, ve haff more polite conversation and less… Ponyville."

Fancypants winced as Photo Finish slammed the balcony door.

"I, erm…" Hoity Toity muttered. "I suppose I'll be going myself… I somehow doubt that the princess will be retaining Photo Finish's financial support… doubtless, the old ghoul will start hounding me even more now…" He started off.

"One more snide comment about Princess Luna and I kick you in the throat, old friend," Rarity called after him, fuming.

Fancypants put a hoof on the small of Rarity's back. "At ease, my friend. They're gone now," he whispered. "Those two may disagree with me, but I think your rousing speech worked exceptionally well. If there's anything I can contribute to Princess Luna's project, I'll do it. I'll track down a pony who can tell her precisely what steps she needs to take to craft her masterpiece. And if it's money she's after, that's no trouble at all."

"Thank you, Fancypants," Rarity said softly. "The princess will be thrilled. I assure you, her childish glee will be well worth the investment."

Fancypants smiled at her.

"Pinkie? Anything to add?" Rarity asked.

Pinkie was lounging back in her seat, wearing a top hat and opera glasses and, somewhat incongruously, smoking a comically oversized cigar. She took a deep draw and pulled the cigar away from her lips. "No, but I'm enjoying hanging out," she said in a deep, husky voice, blowing smoke with every word.

Fancypants doubled over with laughter. "HA HA HA! Oh, Miss Pinkie Pie, you are a gem, do you know that?"

Pinkie shrugged, removing her fancy affectations. "Yup, I'm something else. Only question is, what?"

"Well, whatever you are, I like you," Fancypants said. "You're an exceedingly special mare."

"Thanks… I like you too," Pinkie muttered, chewing on a lock of her mane. "Rarity was right about you, you're different from the other pretty party ponies you usually find in Canterlot… in fact, she may have even kinda understated just how different you are…"

Pinkie and Fancypants looked at each other brightly, holding eye contact for a brief moment that quickly became an intimately extended gaze. Pinkie Pie quickly snapped her head away, looking down to the ground, blushing red.

Rarity's gaze darted between Pinkie and Fancypants, her eyes widening. "By the mother of Celestia," she breathed. "Could it be? No, surely not…"

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-

Fluttershy rested her chin on the railing of a penthouse balcony. Below her, she had an excellent view of the Przewalski concert; behind her, a rooftop pool party was in place. As she squinted at the rising sun, she jumped in surprise at a soft hand on her back.

"Oh!" she squeaked. "Iron Will…"

"Hello, Fluttershy," he growled pleasantly, kneeling down and stroking her mane. "Didn't I tell you this would be the best place to see the concert? And how are you enjoying the party?"

"Oh, it's splendid," she muttered. "I… I'm not a huge fan of Przewalski. It's a bit loud. And I'm really quite sleepy… I haven't slept since my friends and I camped out to get up here."

"Then why did you come here?" Iron Will demanded.

"You invited me," Fluttershy said simply. "I didn't want to turn you down… not again…"

Iron Will smiled. "That's big of you, Fluttershy. Listen, Iron Will… that is to say, I… wanted to apologize for my forwardness on the night we debuted our partnership. I realize maybe you didn't expect that. I'm a forceful presence. I know I can be… intimidating."

Fluttershy gave him a small smile in return. "It's okay, Iron Will. You didn't frighten me."

Iron Will mumbled something, then reached upward with grasping hands, as if trying to snatch his next words out of the air. "This is… it's all new to me," he grumbled. "I'm so used to being secure in the knowledge that nopony can stop me, just reaching out and taking what I want. And what I want… what I want is… I want to be in the position to give you, Fluttershy, everything you want out of life."

She closed her eyes. "You don't have to do that. Can't we keep things the way we are?"

"But how can we?" Iron Will demanded. "You… you changed everything. You turned me into a nice guy! Your writing fills me with… with… aw, hell, I don't even know. I'm no good with words, unless they're rhyming slogans about being an ass to everypony! It's…"

"Iron Will, don't do this," Fluttershy pleaded. "It's just not right!"

"But it is right!" he said, gnashing his teeth. "You, Fluttershy… complete me!" He stroked her chin with his thumb and forefinger. "And you can't say that Iron Will hasn't inspired you to be a slightly better you, can you? We've done great things together, and to each other, and—"

"I want children, Iron Will," she snapped, glaring at him angrily. "You can't give that to me. You and I will never be on the table. Please stop trying."

His hands quivered, as did his lower lip. "I… I see." He backed away on wobbly legs until he found a beach chair, promptly plopping down into it. "That's… well, there's a wake-up call if I ever heard one…"

She pouted sympathetically and flew over to him. "I'm sorry. I truly am. I hoped you and I could get through this without me having to say that, but I… I just snapped…"

"No, no, don't apologize," he muttered. "You should've opened with that."

Fluttershy grinned sheepishly. "I was trying to be firm and steady to get you to back down. I guess I forgot that you're the one who taught me the very techniques I was using. I should have known better than to mess with you, my sensei and guru rolled into one."

Iron Will heaved a mighty sigh. "So… children. So you're on the market only for a stallion, then."

"If I'm 'on the market' at all, then yes," she whispered. "I feel very strongly about that conviction. That's just the way it is."

"Well, that makes sense," Iron Will said. "Apart from every other advantage ponies have, I hear they're the best lovers."

Fluttershy blinked. "Really? I've never heard that."

"Just a stereotype that a lot of minority species grow up on," Iron Will said. He finally looked at her. "You ponies, you're definitely the most attractive creatures in the world; that much I can say for sure."

She blushed. "Thank you."

Iron Will set his two hooves on the ground and stood up, stretching and flexing his arms. "Well, I guess you've given Iron Will a new mission in life."

"What's that?" she said, puzzled.

He pointed to her triumphantly. "I'm going to find you… a stallion of your very own!"

She blushed again. "I don't—"

"Don't argue! I'm gonna do it! I'm gonna find him! And he's gonna fill you up with so many foals it'll make your head spin, just you watch! My search begins… right now!"

He rushed off, thundering through the rooftop-access door and down the stairs.

"What?" Fluttershy said blankly. "I don't… you shouldn't… that's… oh, Przewalski…"

She hung her head and sighed. At the sound of the alternative rock still blaring from far below, she smiled slightly. "The curse, not the band," she muttered to nopony in particular.