Romance and the Fate of Equestria

Chapter Three

My initial forays into the dating conundrum have confirmed that a pre-existing relationship with the pony in question is ideal, if not utterly necessary. Most sources recognize the feeling of attraction as a mild twinge in the chest cavity, accompanied by flashes of heat like the fires in a brazier. I can say with certainty that I have no acquaintance who triggers such a reaction in me. Therefore, I must expand my social circle—an act I once viewed as unnecessary but always proves exceptionally rewarding. To follow, a chronicle of the initial investments of my time.

Twilight set aside her quill and looked over her new journal entry. Satisfied, she rolled it up and gazed out the window.

"But where, where, where to begin?" she muttered.

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"Fluttershy, you look marvelous!" Rarity beamed.

The changes were simple; the slightest touch of eye makeup, a blown-glass butterfly decorating her mane, a pendant adorned with a rose.

"My knees won't stop chattering," Fluttershy said shakily.

"I noticed," Rainbow commented. "Figured that would happen, so I had Zecora whip this up." She passed a flask across the floor to Fluttershy.

"Oh," Fluttershy said, impressed. "Is it some kind of potion to calm my nerves?"

"It's rum and Diet Coke," Rainbow said, shrugging. "Drink up."

Scowling, Rarity took Rainbow aside. "Really, Rainbow Dash?" she whispered harshly. "Before the date's even begun?"

"Hey, somepony's gotta do the talking on this date, and we all know it ain't gonna be him," Rainbow said defensively. "Besides, I've seen Fluttershy drink. She just becomes pleasantly chatty, that's all. And she never—"

She paused and turned her head at a curious noise; Fluttershy was chugging down the entire flask at an alarming pace.

"Never does that, I was gonna say," Rainbow said nervously. "You okay, Fluttershy?"

Fluttershy dropped the empty bottle and gave a full-bodied shudder. "Zecora's an alchemical genius," she slurred. "We should put her face on money."

"He's here!" Spike reported from the window of the boutique. "And… huh, Applejack's with him."

Fluttershy straightened up in alarm, then trotted alone out into the street. Big Macintosh looked the same as he usually did, save for the little black bow tie which seemed to be stuck to the front of his horse-collar with double-sided tape. And sure enough, Applejack was there at his side.

"Um… hi, Applejack," Fluttershy said cautiously. "Will… you be accompanying us?"

Applejack shook her head. "Just escortin' him this far. Where y'all headed?"

"Oh, just gonna catch a play," Fluttershy said casually. "Bon Bon and Lyra have put together this huge production, they say it's going to be wonderful! I hear the Mayor is in it and everything. Right, Big Mac?"

"Eeyup."

Applejack shrugged, as if defeated. "Well, all right," she said. "Stay outta trouble," she added, nudging Big Macintosh.

Rarity and Rainbow Dash joined Applejack as she watched Fluttershy and Big Mac depart down the street. At the theater on the end of the block, Big Mac opened a door for Fluttershy and stood at attention as she passed through.

"Well, ain't he the picture-perfect image of gentlemanship," Applejack commented.

"Yeah," Rainbow agreed. "Always has been. You know that, right? When I said he gets around, it kind of came out wrong. He doesn't 'get around' per se…"

"I know, Rainbow Dash, I know," Applejack assured her. "Bats his eyelashes at every filly, is all… nothin' wrong with that… anyways, just wanted to see what he was doin'. I'll catch y'all later."

"Bye," Rarity said quietly.

"See ya," Rainbow said, flying away.

Applejack started back home, but Spike raced after her. "Wait, Applejack!" he called. "I wanted to talk to you. How much do you know about olives?"

"Olives?" Applejack repeated. "Yeah, I know the Olives. Distant relatives on my mother's side. They got orchards way up north. I hear from some of 'em occasionally. There's Olive Branch, Olive Oil, Olive Loaf…"

"Hold it, stop," Spike said, raising his claws in protest. "I didn't mean the family. I meant, do you know how to take care of an olive tree? 'Cause I got this olive tree…"

"Oh, you mean actual olives," Applejack said, suddenly comprehending. "Well, olives aren't my forte, but I do have a love of all the things that grow—Sure, I could help you out."

They turned and headed for the library. "Why do you have an olive tree?" Applejack asked.

"Shining Armor sent it to me from up north," Spike explained. "He knew I had a pet, so he sent me a plant too. Trying to teach me responsibility, you know."

"Well, I'm on board with that," Applejack said. "I'll teach ya all I know."

They walked in silence for a few seconds, until Spike asked, "Olive Loaf?"

"Yeah, apparently Aunt Olive wanted a filly and… took it out on him."

"Ah."

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Spike's olive tree stood, potted, in the center of the library's ground floor. "Oh, that's a beauty, all right," Applejack said. "Let me see what I can do…"

Peewee chirped from his spot on Spike's desk.

"I know," Spike assured the baby bird. "Applejack, do you think we should get it fireproofed? Just 'cause, you know, a dragon and a phoenix…"

"Well, you'll have to talk to Twilight about that, if you must," Applejack said. "But first you gotta try and accept her the way she is." She nuzzled the tree affectionately. "Okay, baby, I'm just gonna fix you up and then Spike here is gonna take care of you for a long, long time."

Spike watched, fascinated, as Applejack gently stroked the tree's branches and leaves.

"You treat trees like they're ponies," he noted.

Applejack nodded. "They are, if you know how to listen to 'em. You were talkin' earlier about pets and plants? Takin' care of a pony ain't no different."

Spike smiled. "Well, I wanna learn how to do that too!" He approached the tree and pressed a palm against the bark. "So, what's up with you, Applejack?"

Applejack chuckled bitterly. "You want the short version, or…?"

Spike shrugged. "I got time."

Applejack released a puff of air from her mouth. "It just hit me now, man. The whole 'Big Macintosh gets all the ladies' deal? What if this thing he's doin' drives a wedge 'tween me and Fluttershy? I'd hate that."

"What can you do about it?" Spike asked.

"Just gonna do my part, and hope it goes well," Applejack said. "Somepony's gotta teach him how to commit. Can't commit to nothin'… that's why he sticks to the farm, I figure. Only commitment he knows how to deal with."

"How do you know that?" Spike asked curiously.

"Easy," Applejack said. She tapped a hoof against her chest. "Runs in the family." She hung her head. "I just don't wanna see this fall apart."

Spike walked up to her and wrapped his arms around her. "None of us do," he said sincerely.

Applejack smiled and hugged him back.