TCB: A Kinder World

14 - The Flop

Luna opened her eyes, and saw a sight that few ever saw. A pity, since it was so beautiful.

A world lay before her, vast and beautiful from afar, a ball of blue and green, misted by white, flecked with grey. If she didn’t know better, she’d probably call it “Equestria”. All that wonder and life, beheld over a horizon of grey, off-white rock and lifeless dirt.

Sitting on the dirt, a sturdy-looking green shape that noticed her stirring, and got up on two legs. Luna recalled the name it had. Human. Richard.

“Did you bring me here?” the human asked, his voice very faint through the lack of air.

“I did,” Luna nodded, projecting her voice into his mind so he could hear her properly. He startled, before he realized the source and relaxed a little.

“Well,” Richard said his words more audible as Luna used Richard’s own ears to hear it, “I suppose this is better than getting burned to a crisp. I’ve always wanted to see the world from space myself.”

Luna tilted her head. “What do you mean?”

“You didn’t know?” Richard said. “There’s no air here. I need air to breathe. I’m running on internals, and I’ve got about six minutes left,” he shrugged. “We’re on the moon - I’m not sure what possessed you to send us here, but... not a lot of air sources on the moon. I’m going to die, just a little slower than I would have if you’d just let me get dusted by Celestia. But that’s okay, I think I can deal with a quiet death.”

“What about the moon base?” Luna asked, recalling the memory she’d used to lock in a destination for the teleport spell.

“What moon base?” Richard asked.

“The one you know of,” Luna said. “I found it in your memories. You know about a place on the moon, a human colony.”

“Oh, that,” Richard nodded, before shaking his head. “That was launched years ago, and got canned fairly quick for being more trouble than it was worth. It’s gotta be empty by now. When Equestria emerged, folks ditched space projects all over to get to Equestria.”

Luna tilted her head. “So there wouldn’t be an entire colony’s worth of air for you to borrow?”

Richard froze. “Damn. There might just be...”

Luna’s ear twitched as she cast an ethereal hand out over the moon, feeling for warmth. “I can feel a source of warmth and power over to my right. It must be the colony.”

Richard nodded, and took a few steps before slowing to a halt. “Wait a minute.”

“What?”

Richard tapped his helmet. “Unless that colony’s hiding in a crater, I’ll never make it in five minutes. And even if it was, I still wouldn’t. This stupid gravity makes everything hard.”

Luna looked down. She hadn’t really noticed the lack of gravity. That was one of the perks of being a goddess - if you wanted to be standing upright and steady on all four hooves, that’s exactly what happened. Unfortunately, teleportation was out; she simply didn’t have the power to teleport any great length without overexerting herself, and even if she did, she didn’t know exactly where she was going - teleporting inside a wall was something that was painful, embarrassing and obstructive at best. For a mortal, it was also quite fatal. Not the best outcome if she wanted to keep this human alive.

Why did she want this human alive, anyway? Aside from the natural “can’t let anypony die” response, that is. She looked at the creature; if the bloodstains that caked his form were any indication, the not-Celestia was quite right. The Richard was a creature of war and violence. How bad?

Not bad enough to matter. He didn’t seem to harbor any ill will towards her, despite her... retrospectively poor choice of destination, and he had ponies who had leapt to defend him back in the throne room. Ponies who hopefully escaped Celestia’s notice and managed to get a message to the “HLF”, whoever they were.

Luna looked around reflexively; there was nopony else on the moon, and thus nobody to judge her for what she was going to do next. It was going to be very un-princess-like, and she couldn’t have Celestia judging her.

“Get on my back, human.”

“What?”

Luna ducked down low, and jerked her head at her back. “Get on. You’re going to ride me to the colony.”

“I’d rather die than ride you.”

Luna flushed. “To be honest, so would I. But desperate times call for desperate measures. Do you want to die? Or do you want to embarrass both of us and ride to safety on my back?”

Richard took about a second to decide, seriously weighing up the shame of owing his life to a pony, and dying on the moon.

He chose life, and got on gingerly, clinging to Luna’s neck as she stood back up, and began to run across the moon’s surface.

Elevated, Richard had a little more view distance, and far off, he saw the tip of a blinking antenna over the horizon.

“I see it! I see the colony!”

“Great!” Luna said. “Hold on!”

+==[~~~]==+

Celestia looked up at the roof, mid-explanation.

“Celestia?” Milz joined her. “Vot is wrong?”

“I sense...” Celestia said, frowning. “I sense a familiar power far above us. And I sense that a god has stooped to the level of giving something a ride over a long distance.”

“That’s a very specific sense,” Tulip muttered, leaning against a machine as he tried to keep up with the nerd-talk that Celestia and Milz were throwing back and forth in an effort to understand how the Portal actually functioned. “And at the same time, very generic and vague.”

“It’s a problem,” Celestia admitted.

+==[~~~]==+

There was a flash of moonlight,and three ponies appeared in the air above the floor. They landed in a pile with a whump, and got up, swaying slightly.

“Whoa!” Rainbow Dash exclaimed. “What just happened?! Where are we?”

“Twilight’s Library,” Lyra said, looking around. “We’re back in the library!”

Trixie looked around. “This is where the Great and Powerful Twilight Sparkle lives? A library?”

There was a yawn that split the air. “Uhgh. Hi there, welcome to the lib-”

Spike’s voice stopped, the baby dragon having descended the stairs just enough to see the ponies standing in the middle of it; grubby, tired and in once case, scarred, they cut quite the sight.

“What’s going on?”

“Celestia’s turned evil,” Rainbow Dash blurted out. “And she was going to kill Richard and Princess Luna, before she took the Royal Guard to this other world and wiped out the last of the humans!”

“Wait, what?” Spike’s half-awake brain was struggling to keep up, having been in the middle of deep sleep when he’d been roused by the sound of mass-teleportation. His eyes lingered on the burned mare. “Uh, isn’t that-”

“Yes!” Trixie threw a hoof up in the air. “It is I, the Great and Powerful Trixie!”

“Didn’t you just use that title for Twilight just before?” Lyra asked.

“The title of “Great and Powerful” can be shared by many! It is hardly exclusive!”

“So can I be the “Great and Powerful” Rainbow Dash, then?” The cyan pegasus asked.

“Are you great and powerful?”

“Duh.”

“Well, then! Great and Powerful Rainbow Dash it is!”

“Awesome.”

“Girls,” Lyra held up a hoof. “We’re on the clock, here. We have a job to do. Spike, is Twilight’s portal machine still in the basement lab?”

“Yeah,” Spike nodded.

“Do you know how to make it work?”

“Ha, no,” Spike snorted. “I think Twilight’s like the only pony who knows how to use it.”

“Oh.” Lyra sagged.

“After her, though,” Spike rubbed his chin, “And perhaps Princess Celestia, the next person who’d know about the machine is... Angel.”

“Angel?!” Rainbow Dash exclaimed. “Not that little parasprite! Anyone but him!”

Spike shrugged. “He probably helped Twilight the most, honestly. He’s the only one small enough to really get inside the machine.” Spike jiggled his belly for emphasis. “I’m just a wee bit on the tubby side, y’know?”

Rainbow Dash flapped into the air, and put her hooves on her hips, looking at Lyra. “And why are we getting him?”

“Didn’t you hear Richard?” Lyra asked. “The portal. Warn the HLF.” She turned to look at the door that led down to the lab. “We need to make it work, get to earth and warn the humans, before evil Celestia does.”

+==[~~~]==+

The minivan rolled along the road at a cautious pace, engine humming quietly as they did. The Wild Cards were all on the edges of their seats, hands resting on guns as they approached the concrete jungle that was New York.

Twilight looked out the window as they approached, awed by the height of all the buildings.

“This is... this is...” she looked for the word to describe just how big New York was.

Oddly, despite being mostly bereft of nature, Fluttershy seemed the most at ease, staring up in wonder. “You can barely see the sky...”

“New York ain’t the biggest place in the world,” Emmet muttered, leaning forward in the driver’s seat to look at the rooftops, gun resting on the dashboard. “But it’s pretty damn big.”

“Also pretty damn quiet,” Desmond said, antsy. “Way too quiet.”

Silence punctuated this statement, save for the only sound they could hear, which was the van itself, echoing off the buildings around them.

“Gasmasks on,” David suggested, pulling his own air filter out and popping it on over his face.

The humans obliged, as the car rounded a corner and passed by a large, gutted shell of a building, a past fire having done it’s worst to the premises. The banner that hung limply by one corner was mostly destroyed, but a few letters could still be made out.

“What’s that? Bro- Brony?” Twilight asked. David’s face went sour.

“Bronies. Can you believe that some people were actually fans of the ponies?” He shook his head. “Even after Equestria’s agenda was revealed, didn’t stop some folks running to Equestria. Bloody morons. As you can see, some folks were not friendly to the pro-pony humans.”

“I think we’d better stop here and carry on on foot,” Emmet said, looking around as he stopped the van. “I’m getting a bad feeling about this.”

The party exited the vehicle, and making sure they had everything, carried on on foot. Fluttershy and Twilight were on point, walking calmly down the middle of the street, with nothing to fear from the ponies; they were shadowed by the Cards, who moved from cover to cover, leapfrogging one another.

The party rounded a corner, and Twilight and Fluttershy stopped. Before them, the road ended at a junction, water all that lay beyond, a vast stretch of water separating them an island. On that island...

“What the hay is that thing?” Twilight asked, running forward and rearing up on the guard barrier next to the water, pointing a hoof at the black spire that loomed over the other buildings by an order of magnitude.

“The New York Conversion Bureau,” Emmet muttered. “It’s also the headquarters for Equestria on Earth. We’re seeing it with human eyes, something has gone horribly wrong.”

The humans looked about, waiting for the assault punchline they were expecting, but none came. No potion from above. No pegasi in the air, even. The setting sun glittered off the surface of the water, making the whole situation feel surreal.

“This is way too easy,” Emmet muttered. “That bureau’s probably where you want to go. I think that was the hub for travel to and from Equestria, way back when. It probably still is.”

“How do we get across the water?” Twilight asked.

“Um,” Fluttershy unfurled her wings. “I could carry you. You know, if you wanted. Probably.”

“You can’t carry me and the humans as well,” Twilight frowned. Emmet held up a hand.

“Don’t sweat that. This part you’re gonna have to do alone anyway. If you got seen with us, I think things might go south quickly.” Emmet pointed with a hand at a bridge in the distance that crossed the river. “We’ll make our way across over that, meet you on the other side. Hopefully, by then, you’ll have delivered that message and secured the surrender.”

Twilight nodded. “Are you sure this is a good idea?”

“Absolutely,” David nodded. “Hell, you’re Twilight Sparkle, number-one student of Princess Celestia. Practically royalty, from what I hear. I wouldn’t be surprised if we get there and you’re getting pampered silly.”

Twilight smiled. “Don’t worry. I’ll be sure to set aside some of the pampering for you guys. Fluttershy, are you ready?”

Fluttershy flapped her wings a bit, stretched them, and nodded.

With a bit of work, Fluttershy picked Twilight up by the shoulders, and began to flap out over the water, moving slowly. Twilight looked back at the bank, where Emmet waved back just once, before the human soldiers jogged back to the relative safety of the buildings, and vanished down an alleyway.

Twilight looked back at the Bureau, the tall, black building imposing and intimidating. What awaited her?

She looked up at Fluttershy’s face, which was contorted with the effort of keeping them both aloft, and looked down to see that they were moving at a brisk canter’s pace over the water. Water that Twilight could swear was getting closer and closer with every passing moment. The far bank was distant, but reachable.

Perhaps there would be some swimming involved before the day was done.

+==[~~~]==+

Luna galloped.

It was very unprincess-like to gallop like she was, but then again, she was racing the clock. Richard’s clock.

His suit was making faint beeping noises, quite urgently. Richard had since passed out, his air supply dropped to too low a level for him to stay awake. Luna held the human’s body to her back with magic as she ran, clearing a small hill and gasping.

Below, in a shallow crater, a wide, flat structure sat on the moon, white materials glistening in sunlight. Small lights blinked on and off, marking corners of the building, and best of all, lights were on in the windows that Luna could see. As she watched, a human-like shape wandered past one of the windows, and she smiled. Richard was going to be safe.

Provided he got into an air-filled environment, of course. She broke into a run once more, Richard bouncing about as she did. The building loomed larger, and she directed herself to a large, red door at the end of a tubular protrusion; painted on the doors was the word “airlock”. Luna considered it. Air lock. Air should be involved. Somewhere. So it was clearly the best place for Richard to be, right?

She ran up to it, and it didn’t move. She looked around, for a button or a bell to ring, and found nothing. No way in. Shouldering the human on her back, she probed the Airlock with her magic, and felt for a seam. She found it, and dug telekinetic claws into the gap, and pulled. The effort she exerted was titanic; the RX-9 Airlock System by Synthetic Design was rated to several million atmospheres’ worth of pressure, and designed to stay shut when it was supposed to be shut, regardless of anything anyone might do to it; it had safety issues in that anything left inside the door’s closing path would get mashed in half, but that aside, it made great security.

And yet, Luna pried it open with a groaning of steel, alarms sounding, air rushing and the door screeching as Luna forced it open more and more. Once the doors were open enough, Luna grabbed Richard by the shoulders, and threw.

The human sailed through the gap and landed with a whump on the other side. Luna nodded, and finally relaxed her grip on the doors. With a clang, they snapped shut again, and Luna looked around for a different way into the moon base.

In the airlock, Richard lay still, his suit no longer bleeping as it switched back to using the environment for air. He lay between the interior and exterior airlocks, air around him misting as fresh air was pumped into the room. The interior airlock beeped as someone was admitted entry, and a pair of thick, leather gloves grabbed him by the neck and began to drag.

+==[~~~]==+

“Come on, Angel,” Rainbow Dash begged. “Just... work with us, come on. Lives are at stake.”

Rainbow Dash, Lyra and Trixie were gathered next to the portal - having never seen it before, Trixie was in awe. And partially jealous, as she estimated it to be worth more than she’d ever earned.

Angel sat between them, arms folded as he silently bargained with Rainbow Dash.

“Seriously?” Rainbow Dash sighed. “Okay. Fine. What do you want?”

Angel reached behind his back, and whipped out a cookbook, open to a specific page. On it, was a picture of a bowl of salad.

“You want a salad.”

Angel nodded, and tapped his foot five times.

“You want... five salads?” Rainbow guessed.

Angel tapped his foot seven times.

“You want seven salads?”

Angel facepawed, and repeated the five-tap, then the seven-tap.

“You want... no.” Rainbow Dash shook her head. “You want five salads a day, for a whole week?”

Angel threw his paws in the air with an expression of “finally, she gets it”.

A glow of magic grabbed Angel by the scruff of his neck, and pulled him towards the two unicorns. Angel noted the grubby, questionably-stained labcoat on Lyra and the still-healing burns on Trixie.

“Right,” Lyra said. “I don’t know how things usually go around here, but you’re being extortionate at a very poor time. An entire race of creatures is at stake, and you’re bargaining for salad.”

“Trixie does not approve,” snorted Trixie. “If you are going to bargain, why not bargain for more than just salad?”

“Trixie.”

“Sorry.”

“Like I was saying,” Lyra said, “Poor timing. Get this portal fixed now.”

Angel crossed his arms and shook his head vigorously.

“I wasn’t asking,” Lyra reiterated. “Did I mention Fluttershy’s in danger as well?”

Angel’s face fell, before he pulled himself up, and vanished in a rush of wind, the sounds of clunking stones coming from the portal machine. The three mares turned around to see the gems in the machine slowly flickering to life, as a low hum began to make itself heard.

Angel popped out of the machine’s guts, and bounced over to the control panel, where he examined the switches, and pushed one upwards. With a grinding of stone, the ring in the middle of the machine began to spin and spark, rapidly gaining speed.

“Next stop,” Lyra said. “Earth.”

+==[~~~]==+

The armored guardspony slowly patrolled the moonlit pavement, constantly on edge. He wished he didn’t have to, but humans were so... savage. They simply didn’t see that the ponies were there to elevate them, to make them better! And it showed, in repeated attempts on Lady Sparkle’s life. A sniper there, a knife there. Even some mechanical monstrosity on two legs had tried to stamp out Twilight’s life, only to find that the stories about the unicorn’s magical strength were far from exaggerated. And then Twilight Sparkle only served to make the truth even more unbelievable by spending days on end in libraries, just... reading. Everything. Ostensibly to better understand the creatures they were saving, with their rough-hewn “civilization”. They didn’t even have a princess, and the sun and moon moved of their own accord! Ridiculous!

Still, the guard mused, for all of humanity’s savagery, they made nice walkways. Smooth stone, how did they do it?

He passed by a tree, and briefly distracted by the wonder of concrete, failed to notice the large shape pressed up against the tree trunk; even if he hadn’t been distracted so, it would have been a challenge to spot the human - his attention was directed at potential threats from without, not threats lurking just within.

Evidently the concept of eliminating sentries hadn’t occurred to him. There was a rustle of shrubbery, and the guard turned just in time to see a lumbering mass of darkness lurch out from the shadows, knife glittering in his grip.

Steel flashed in the moonlight, and the guard found himself in a tight, encompassing and rather unfriendly embrace, a human hand clamped firmly over his snout as he struggled and kicked. Red fluid ran from his neck, as his heart faithfully pumped the stuff he needed to live out through the hole afforded by the knife.

The guard went still, and the human relaxed, sheathing his knife and adjusting his grip to drag the dead pony into the bushes, just like the other sentries at their own respective posts. The sound and shape of a bomb-suited human disposing of his kills was hardly subtle, but it was a quiet night, and now there was nopony to notice the nefarious deed.

Apart from the one inside. Her.

Satisfied the pony was concealed, the human hefted a large duffel bag, and shouldered it. It was heavy, but then, all good things were. In this case, it was bricks of plastic explosive. It had taken some time to acquire this much, and a few forays into military installations, but he had it. Ultimately, it’d be worth it.

He looked up at the building that loomed before him, the building that housed just one pony and a sizable amount of the world’s knowledge. The building that he had researched how to destroy with the plastic explosive he had.

He rolled his shoulders, exhaled, and cranked up the cooling on the bomb suit. It had saved his life plenty of times in the past, and hopefully it’d keep saving his life until he didn’t need it any more. But between then and now...

Richard walked up to one of the support pillars, and briefly recollecting the structural plans, slapped a brick of C4 into the carved stone pillar, priming it.

Do unto others as you would have done unto yourself, was how the saying went. Equestria had taken his daughter from him. Celestia didn’t have a daughter, but apparently Twilight Sparke was practically the same thing.

Richard placed another explosive and primed it with a soft beep.

It’d have to do.

+==[~~~]==+

Applejack ran down the stairs at speed, practically dragging a protesting Rarity with her. Pinkie Pie didn’t need to be dragged, bouncing along quite happily of her own accord, Spike clinging to her back in mild terror as he rose and fell about half a second after she did.

“Do we really have to do this now?” Rarity protested, clutching her dressing gown to herself with magic. “It’s the middle of the night!”

“Ah know,” Applejack yawned, “But it’s important. Didn’t y’all hear spike? Celestia’s gone bad, we need to give her what-for!”

“We’re gonna go save a world~!” Pinkie whooped. “We’re gonna go save a world~!”

Rainbow Dash looked up, and saw four of her best friends descending the stairs, into Twilight’s laboratory.

“What’s going on?” she asked. “Spike? Did you-”

“Do you really think we’d let you just go to another world on your own?” Rarity asked, drawing herself up. “I might not be looking my best right now, but I’m not going to miss this one, like I did last time.”

“If y’all are going to go and try to get Twilight back,” Applejack added, “Count us in.”

“We’re going to show that nasty, mean, evil Celestia what happens when you mess with our friends!” Pinkie whooped, producing two boxing-glove-clad hooves and punching them together.

“Awesome,” Rainbow Dash said. “With the four of us, there’s nothing we can’t do!”

“Ah hem,” Lyra cleared her throat pointedly. “We’re going too.”

“Yes, quite,” Trixie said, adjusting her worn hat. “This is Trixie’s chance - what better way to repay my debt to Richard than to save his people?”

“Trixie?!” Applejack spluttered, noticing the unicorn. “What in the hay - What’re you doing here?!” Applejack to Rainbow Dash. “RD, what the hay.”

“Trixie’s not the same Trixie that showed us up,” Rainbow Dash assured. “She’s turned over a new leaf.”

“Humph,” Rarity turned her nose up. “I very much doubt that anypony who turns somepony’s hair into a tangled mess can ever change.”

“Come on,” Lyra nagged. “Give the mare a chance, sheesh. I mean, she’s been nothing but helpful since I met her.”

“Trixie doesn’t care whether you want her to go or not,” Trixie declared. “Trixie is still going. Richard got eaten by a hydra to save me, the least I can do is try my best to warn his people.”

Applejack grumbled, but nodded. “I suppose so. The human didn’t seem like much when Ah last saw him, but Ah suppose Ah owe him pretty big, too, savin’ mah sister like he did.”

“And it isn’t exactly generous of me to not give him the benefit of the doubt,” Rarity admitted. “Perhaps I could do with helping.”

“We’re in agreement, then,” Rainbow Dash said, bringing her hooves together and bending them with a click. “Angel, how’s the portal coming along?”

The white rabbit stared at the portal, then at Rainbow Dash, tapping a foot on the console, pointing at the last in a line of lamps. A green glass window remained dark, designated “link”.

“So, we just need a link to be established?” Rainbow asked, and Angel nodded.

“You mean, we need somepony on th’ other side to activate a portal as well?” Applejack asked.

Angel just shrugged, and hopped down off the console as Lyra came over to investigate it. She tutted as she examined the arcane machine, and nodded.

“Yup. Everything else seems to be fine, it’s just... waiting for a prompt.”

+==[~~~]==+=

“There’s nothing wrong with the portal,” Celestia shrugged.

“You have lost me,” Milz admitted. “My English must not be up to scratch. You said there iz nozthing wrong viz zer portal.”

“According to you,” Celestia countered, “Every component on Twilight’s portal appears to have an equivalent one on this machine. And hers obviously worked. Thus, this should work.”

“But ve have changed nozthing,” protested Milz. “It did not vork before, vy should it vork now?”

“Perhaps both of you are missing something,” Tulip yawned, leaning against a handy desk as he watched the two troubleshoot a multi-billion-dollar machine. “A third element, as it were. One that neither of you know about.”

“Impozzible,” Milz snorted. “Ve are having the combined intellect of zer greatest scientific genius alive, and a god. Vot is there to know?”

“Plenty,” Celestia muttered. “God I might be, but there are still things in the world that I cannot know.”

“Look,” Tulip said, standing up straight and uncrossing his arms. “We managed to get it working in the middle of a firefight. How about we just push the bloody button and see what happens?”

“How about ve don’t?” Milz said, moving to block Tulip as the Commander moved to the main control console. “Zis is a sensitive machine! You don’t just “push zer bloody button und see vaht happens”!”

There was a quiet click, and Milz put his hands up as he found himself staring at the business end of a handgun, held by Tulip.

“I think we will,” Tulip said. “It worked before, let’s do it again.”

“Commander Tulip,” Celestia said, stepping in front of Milz, wing outstretched to shield him. “Let’s not step to violence.”

“Step aside, Princess,” Tulip said, motioning with the gun. “This is not a time for talk, this is a time for action. Specifically, throwing levers.”

Celesita blinked slowly, and stepped to the side, gently nudging Milz to the side, always keeping her wing in front of him. Tulip put his gun up, satisfied, and strode over to the console.

It looked complex, but it helped that there was a large lever designated “power”, and it was currently up, in the “off” position. He reached out, and without pausing, ripped the lever down.

+==[~~~]==+

The click of boots on tiled floor echoed throughout the library, alerting Twilight to Richard’s presence before she even saw him. And so Richard stepped out into the open, facing a Twilight Sparkle who was seated in a chair, facing the human.

“What are you doing here?” Twilight asked. “Humans should be in Bureaus, awaiting salvation.”

“Nah,” Richard waved a free hand, pooh-poohing the idea. “Salvation isn’t for me. Got nothing left to save.” He hefted the large duffel bag in his other hand; it sagged with weight, but it had one last heavy thing in it. “You’ve taken my daughter from me, did you know that? Ponies have destroyed what family I had. And we were just beginning to get along, too.”

“Then ponify,” Twilight challenged. “Join her. She is not lost to you.”

“It’s too late for that,” Richard jostled the bag. “This bomb’ll make quick work of me and you, and just to make sure neither of us get out of here alive, it’ll set off the other charges I’ve got around this building. They say that you’re like the daughter Celestia never had,” Richard grinned beneath his helmet, an emotion Twilight could sense, despite seeing nothing more than a human in a bomb suit. “She’s taken my daughter from me, I think it’s only fair I do the same before I die. We’re going to go together.”

Richard reached into the bag with his empty hand, and watched Twilight. With a pulse of magic, she vanished - as expected. Richard kept on reaching, even as the lavender mare appeared in front of him, and with a telekinetic shove like an eighteen wheeler, threw him backwards, sans duffel bag. The human hit the tiled floor hard, and skidded along until he came to a stop against the far wall, underneath a window.

The bag landed on the ground, and Twilight ripped it open, revealing just a small brick of plastic explosive, with an ominous blinking red light. No detonation mechanism. She looked at Richard, confused.

“This is just C4. You need a detonator. Even I know that.”

“Remember how I said we’d go together?” Richard asked, getting up and dusting himself off as he reached behind his back, and pulled out a small handle. “I lied.”

Twilight’s eyes went wide as there was an audible snick, a beep, and-[

Flame blossomed wide and fast, blowing Richard backwards with the force of the explosion. Glass exploded around him as he was thrown out the second story window, and more explosions ripped through the air as other planted explosives finally received their signals, detonating.

The lone human hit the top of a tree, and with a strangled grunt of pain, flopped around the branches, bouncing off them as he fell to the ground and landed in a shrub with a grunt. He looked up, and saw his handiwork.

The library burned, creaked, and thanks to the explosive charges taking out crucial support points... began to sag. With a rumble of masonry, the ancient building finally breathed its last, and caved inwards. He looked at his chest, and saw the blackened fabric of his suit struggling to stitch itself together, burned all the way down to the ceramic plate, which had a shallow crater burned into that, too. Less than an inch of material had stood between Richard and having an even bigger crater in his chest.

There was no way Twilight could've survived.

“Sit on it and spin, Celestia,” Richard muttered.

+==[~~~]==+

Wind screamed through the air once more in Twilight’s lab, paper and detrius flinging itself through the portal, Lyra, Trixie and Rainbow Dash screaming in terrified joy. Everypony else was just screaming.

“It’s working!” Rainbow Dash yelled, flapping her wings hard as she struggled to remain standing in place. “This is exactly what it did last time!”

“Now what?!” Rarity screeched, clinging fearfully to Applejack’s leg as the more solid earth pony clung tightly to a bookshelf.

“I guess this is where we jump!” Lyra shouted, clinging to the control panel along with Angel, who’d planted himself in the lee of the sturdy machine.

“You wanna jump?” Pinkie Pie exclaimed. “Just jump straight through a hole in reality!? Are you loco in the coco? Even I wouldn’t do that!”

“What would you do?” Trixie asked.

“Well, I’d look first!” Pinkie responded with a smile.

Applejack just blinked in surprise. “That’s actually soundin’ pretty sensible like. We should do that.”

Pinkie Pie managed to find the time to pout at Applejack. “Are you saying I’m not always the epitome of sensible?”

Everypony else declined to comment, and settled for looking at the portal. As one, they squinted, and tilted their heads to see the inverted image the right-way up.

“Is that... Richard?!” Lyra exclaimed.

+==[~~~]==+

“My God...” Tulip breathed, clinging to the console as Celestia anchored herself and Doctor Milz with her. “There’s more of them.”

The princess looked harder. “It looks like the Elements of Harmony have gathered to retrieve Twilight and Fluttershy.”

“That’s a good thing?” Tulip asked. “They ain’t gonna bounce in here and gimme four hooves?”

“They shouldn’t do,” Celestia muttered. “I ask that you hold off on a violent reaction when they come through.”

Tulip blinked. “Wait, when?”

“They’ve already jumped.”

There was a deep, throbbing pulse that rippled through the lab, and the god, scientist and soldier all felt it. Sparks flew out from the machine in cascades of energy, as there was a pop of air displacement, and the air suddenly got a lot more colorful.

There were shrieks of terror and yells of alarm as no less than six ponies flew through the air and landed on the ground in a heap. Legs waggled futilely in the air as the portal sparked and with a snap of lightning, vanished. It wasn’t long before golden magic encompassed the heap, and still kicking, the six ponies were separated and placed on their confused hooves, on the ground. Tulip stood tall and assessed the new arrivals.

Some of them looked a little green (White unicorn in fluffy-trim dressing gown), and some looked like they were stoically trying not to panic, freak out or hurl themselves (Orange hat pony, blue pegasus). One looked like she’d thoroughly enjoyed the experience (Pink pony), another looked astonished (Lab coat unicorn) and the last one simply squared her shoulders and returned Tulip’s gaze levelly. (Burned unicorn)

“...Richard?” the lab-coated unicorn asked, hesitantly.

“That’s not me,” Tulip said bluntly. “But I know a guy.”

“About yea tall?” The blue unicorn with burn scars asked, holding a hoof up as a point of light rapidly danced a shape in the air, forming a rather accurate, life-sized outline of a man in an explosive ordnance suit.

“That sounds like him,” Tulip nodded. “Or at least, what he looked like last time I saw him.”

“Commander Tulip,” Celestia indicated the ponies in turn. “May I introduce: Applejack, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, and Rainbow Dash, four of the six Elements of Harmony. As well as... Hmm, Lyra Heartstrings, and... Trixie Lulamoon, yes.”

“The Great and Powerful Trixie Lulamoon, excuse you,” Trixie said reflexively, before clamping a hoof over her mouth as she realized who she’d just sassed.

Celestia giggled. “The Great and Powerful Trixie it is, then,” she said, before the smile fell from her face and she cleared her throat, moving quite distinctly from “pleasantries” to “business”. “What happened?” she asked. “What’s going on?”

“Well,” Applejack said, dusting herself off with a few flicks of her tail and resetting her hat. “Th’ “Richard” arrived in Twilight’s Library, panicked, beat us up, took Lyra here hostage, and escaped into the forest, where he picked a fight with a manticore and saved mah sister.”

“And after that,” Rainbow Dash said, “he let himself get eaten by a hydra to save Trixie’s life by killing the hydra from the inside, with a knife.”

“What?!” Tulip choked. “You mean it actually worked?”

“I would say so,” Trixie said flatly. “I’m alive to talk about it. It was rather gross. And then there was the Balrog in the underpass,” the blue unicorn said, indicating some fresher burns on herself.

“And the Nightmare,” Lyra added.

“And then there was... other Celestia,” Rainbow Dash said tentatively.

“...I do not suppose she was kindly disposed to you?” Celestia said hopefully.

“She said she’s going to make a portal, come back here and use our Equestria’s ponies to wipe out the last of humanity,” Lyra said. “All before she vaporized Princess Luna and Richard.”

Tulip’s jaw just dropped, and he sagged a little. “You’re shitting me,” he grunted.

“Luna and Evil Celestia were going at it, hammer and tongs,” Rainbow Dash said. “And Evil Celestia wasn’t even close to winded when she turned up the heat. Luna teleported us away and Richard told us to send word of her plans.”

Celestia nodded. “Very well. My counterpart rides to war, as expected, and is bringing my own Royal Guard to bear against us. Commander Tulip, what say you?”

Tulip stood up straight and cleared his throat. “Twilight and Fluttershy are still delivering the ultimatum, but once our Celestia returns to her dark throne, it’ll definitely lose a lot of power, and we’re back to where we were about a week ago - about to die, and this time, it sounds like she’s not taking prisoners.”

“We’re the Elements of Harmony,” Rarity pointed out, tapping her chest. “Can’t we do something? Banish this Dark Celestia to the sun?”

“We need all six, Rares,” Rainbow Dash pointed out. “We’re short Fluttershy and Twilight.”

“Where are they, anyhow?” Applejack asked. “Y’all said they were deliverin’ some sorta ultimatum?”

Milz reached under a table and pulled out a roll of paper, which he unfurled so he could point at a spot on the coastline.

“New York,” Milz said. “Zer big apple. Home of the first Conversion Bureau.”

+==[~~~]==+

There was a wet splashing, and with twin gasps, two ponies breached the surface of the river, and dug their hooves in as they scrabbled over the edge of the waterfront, rolling over the edge and onto dry land.

“I’m sorry,” Fluttershy wheezed, lying on the paved stone like a wet sack of meat. “I thought... I thought I could make it.”

“It’s okay, Fluttershy,” Twilight reassured, dragging herself upright, water running in rivulets from her soaked coat and mane. “You almost made it. We didn’t have to swim too far.”

With a snap and crackle of energy, Twilight dried herself off with a short burst of magic, and shook herself to shake the tingle. Fluttershy staggered upright herself, and Twilight did the same for her, pausing only when she saw the results of her magic.

“Whoops,” Twilight muttered, reaching over and gently smoothing out Fluttershy’s new manestyle. “I forgot I had it calibrated to me.”

Fluttershy brushed her new straight bangs to the side with a hoof, and gave her tail a careful flick, allowing it to snap back to it’s usual shape.

“It’s no problem,” she mumbled. “What do we do now?”

Twilight looked around, and without much difficulty, located the tall, dark building that was their destination.

“The Bureau,” Twilight stated. “We deliver the message. Or find a way to get the message delivered.”

“I have a bad feeling about this,” Fluttershy whispered. “I feel like somepony is watching our every move.”

Twilight raised an eyebrow laconically, looking quite skeptical, even as her eyes darted about, picking out choice observation points, all of which were devoid of life. As much as she wanted to write off Fluttershy’s feeling as typical Fluttershy worry-warting... she couldn’t.

Wordlessly, the two ponies cantered over the road, weaving between a number of eternally-parked cars, and made their way between tall buildings towards their goal. The closer they got, things got more dire in appearance. Storefronts and buildings looked more abandoned, the number of parked and abandoned cars climbed, many with red X marks painted on them, as well as having windows broken or missing, and being covered in the grime of disuse.

It was startling when they rounded a corner, and all that changed. Like an invisible barrier, the streets and buildings were suddenly pristine, picturesque. Spotless, unfettered roads gave way to a large expanse of flat, tiled stone. The plaza’s polished stone glinted in the light, and partially reflected the tall black building standing in the middle of it. Sunlight glistened off the edge of the obsidian-esque structure, framed by a sky that was slowly turning orange, a picture-perfect sunset.

It was eerie, for something so... perfect to sit as an island amidst a sea of neglect and burgeoning ruin.

Twilight and Fluttershy entered the shadow of the world’s first Conversion Bureau as they approached the steps that led up to glistening glass main doors. They went unchallenged, and saw nothing, not even movement, in the building.

That is, until they set hoof on the bottom-most step of the Bureau, and there was a snick of a door latch. They looked up at the sound of hooves, and Twilight saw a familiar face.

“Twilight?” Shining Armor asked, blinking in surprise. “I-is that you?”