That hiding on a phoenix thing is actually doing quite well for me. Yea, Celestia and Luna are never going to find me, because the last time I was on here Celestia and Luna did not even suspect a thing that I was gone last night.

I actually feel like I have freedom now. I mean, they thought I was in bed the entire time last night. What a pair of stupid dumb fucks.

They thought that they could use their magic and figure out if I wasn’t in my bedroom, but this time, I outsmarted them.

Then again, eventually they are going to catch on and eventually catch me, riding this majestic phoenix, under Luna’s night sky and under her beautiful moon. When that happens, I’ll be fucked.

However, let’s not concentrate on that right now. Let’s actually concentrate what the fuck is actually happening right now. Let’s see, where the fuck did I leave off from last time.

That’s right, I left off that I was at the bar with Craig McCracken and Neon, late at night, while Lauren Faust didn’t know jack shit that was happening. In fact, she was going to wake up to a dead raccoon on the floor that had been gutted out, skinned alive a bit and put in a deep freezer and possibly deep fried as well.

I’m pretty sure those hillbilly’s rednecks, the rare type of Americans, are going to break into the house, and grab that dead raccoon and eat him for dinner. Although if it were a hillbilly redneck zombie, they would rape Lauren Faust, eat the raccoon and sing horrible country music and shit.

That, and it would be a sign that hillbilly redneck zombies has taken over the world and it would have been a new era. Although if that ever happened, I would have lost a bet then with Wolf.

I mean, I’m pretty sure when Earth enters a new era, it would be when Google takes over. I mean, they already have self-driving cars; they might as well take over the world and have a new era for Earth called the Google era.

In which everyone has to drive the Google-mobile or some shit like that. Well, we were at the bar, trying to have a good time, like in The Worlds End, except no evil robots are trying to kill us and we have blue ink on our hands and shit like that.

Anyways, we were at the bar, I just said the word fuck really loudly, where everyone can hear me.

In fact, one guy was on a date on his girlfriend, and he said to me, “Dude, watch your swearing man. Can’t you see that there is a lady here who doesn’t like to hear profanity unless I’m fucking her ass really hard in her bedroom when I just shot her parents because they hate me?”

I then said to that person, “You do realize that you just said the word fuck already, so your statement is completely invalid. Second, what the fuck are you talking about?”

Then that guy’s girlfriend, who keep in mind, is a hot blonde chick with big titties for some odd reason, but then again, that’s possibly why the guy is dating her anyways.

It’s because she is a blonde chick and she has big boobs. Although, I always wondered, why do guys get boners when looking at boobs? I mean, it’s such a great question if you think about it. I mean, perhaps someone should get Vsauce on it. Then again, I am in Equestria and I can’t do shit about it.

However, I can still kidnap him and force him to do so. However, it is a good question that needs an answer to, that I’m pretty sure that he would be just fine with answering the dam question. I mean, it’s like a question like the meaning of life.

Guys like to look at them, and yet, we don’t exactly know why we like it? Is it because they look like balloons and they remind of us our awesome childhood.
Then again, some were abused, while others thought a balloon meant that the clown from ‘IT’ was going to kill them.

In fact, why the fuck was the clown from IT a giant spider in the end? Whatever, I’m getting off track here, the point is, why the fuck are boobs interesting?
Anyways, as I was saying before a great question just as if the meaning of life came into play here, the girlfriend to that guy was a hot blonde chick with big hot air balloon boobs, like in Henti anime porn.

Well, she said to her boyfriend, “What? You didn’t kill my parents. You didn’t even have sex with me yet. I mean, this is our first date together. I mean, we only just met on Craigslist thirty minutes ago.”

Then the hot blonde bitch’s phone rang, and she said, “Hold on a minute, my friend bitchy bitch just texted me back.”

Then she grabbed out her…I don’t know, the I phone 69 I guess that was released by this point in time? In fact, it might have been exactly that because Apple was just throwing new versions of the used to be great but now is shitty I phone out to people.

Fuck it man, I also think they even gave some fucking hobos who did not even pay anything to get it, nor pay a phone bill for that matter.

Although, from my perspective, all those hobos only used it for porn and looking at a virtual fireplace from the app store on the I phone. Yea, they wish they had a real fire instead of having one over a barrel that is abandoned from n nuclear waste plant that pretty much give you cancer if you go near it.

Then again, what doesn’t give you cancer nowadays? I mean, even the grass gives you cancer somehow. Fuck it, I believe at one point, some people will say, Lauren Faust gives you cancer or ponies give you cancer. That or even they might say that Adam Sandler gives you cancer.

Although, I do hope one day that will be true, for I do hate Adam Sandler for his non-funny Jewish comedy. I mean, when that day comes, we will have a reason to stay away from his movies.

That and we will once again will be freed from the beast, and actually spend our money wisely and perhaps the economy might actually get back on track if people stop watching Adam Sandler’s films.

Anyways, the blonde bitch with big hot air balloon boobs then looked at her text and she said, “Awe, that’s sad. My friend has F’s in school, but only because she doesn’t pay attention and always on her phone texting to other people like me and go on Facebook.
School’s hard. Paying attention in class is hard so hard. Why is everything so hard? Drinking water is so hard. I don’t want to go to sleep because it’s so hard. Having sex with someone is so hard. Why is life so hard? Oh look, a small midget dog. He looks so cute. Is he that Taco Bell dog? Is he made out of tacos? I want to eat him and find out.”

Yea, this is why Muslims possibly attack America, because it’s filled mostly of these kinds of people. I mean, this is why the Muslims celebrate 9/11 as if it was fucking Christmas.

In fact, I recall that moment from Neon when I had nothing to do, and he somehow showed me what the Muslims do on 9/11 In fact, it went like this.

Son of a black baby monkey Jesus. Apparently, white people can’t have a simple story without a black guy in it narrating. Then again, my voice is better than white people’s voices.

Well, it was two days earlier before the events from when there was two Neon’s and shit happened, which I am somehow surprised at that. I believe Knight Lied to you all that it was only right after the events from his trip to Manehatten, and not two days.

Anyways, Knight, the white guy pony here, was just doing but white pony shit, because he basically had nothing to do at all that day. Then, Neon, the scary mother fucker that even scares me.

I mean, I’m fucking god bitch, and that shit scars me. Dam Neon, you scary.

Anyways, Knight was just randomly walking, like how a white guy pony should, minding his white guy pony business, when all of a sudden, Neon ran up to him, and Neon said to Knight all up in his face, “Hey Knight! You want to see what Muslims do back in your universe on 9/11!?”

Then Knight said to the scary ass pony, “I’m afraid to ask and where did this conversation even started at Neon? I mean, I was minding my own business here, and you just asked me a question that has nothing to do what I’m facing right now.”

Then Neon said to Knight, “Well, before I show you what the Muslims do, let me show you what Americans do on 9/11.”

Well then, Neon is scary, because he is not listening to what knight has to say and shit. Well, anyways, Knight then said, “Neon, I’m not a fucking retard, ok? I mean, I know what happens. People cry and moan and never forget what happened on that dark day…Actually, to be honest with you, I don’t know what happens, because I really never paid any attention to it.”
Then Neon teleported him and Knight to Knight’s house and Neon opened up a portal to Earth, while Knight was confused as shit to what the fuck just happened. Well, Neon showed what Earth was like in the year 2020, and this is what he saw.
He saw a stage in New York City, and there was a crowd around it, filled with whites and blacks and purple. Well, purple…is a thing. Fuck it, I’m Morgan Freeman and I can say whatever the fuck I want in this shit.

Well, the president of the United States in the year 2020, stood up, and walked to the podium. He said, “Now, we will hear some words from a survivor.” Then the white guy looking mother fucker went up and he said, “I have cancer due to the building being destroyed!”

Then the crowd applauded him with glee and cheer. Then the white guy said, “I’m serious here, I got cancer!”

Then the crowed laughed at him, as if it was an 80’s sitcom. Then again, majority of the crowd was white people, who still believe they are living in the 80’s, while the black still believes they still living in the 90’s.

However, with Asians, they are aware that they are living in the present times, and are not dumbasses. However, it is mostly because they are good at math and they would never fail a math test…at all.

Nevertheless, if they do, then it just means the world is about to end, for an Asian get’s a driver’s license and fails a math test and all that whatnot and shit. Well, then the guy said, “What are you people doing?! This isn’t supposed to be funny at all!”

Then the crowd yelled, ‘boo!’, at the guy, and a random guy stood up and said, “That wasn’t a very funny joke! Tell a funny joke for once you douchebag!”

Then the crowd agreed with the random guy and then they all said, “Yea, tell another joke that is actually funny!”

Strangely enough, they said that all in unison. Well. Then the guy said, “Why are you people doing this to me?!”

The guy also started to cry a bit, while the crowd awed, as if they were watching an 80’s sitcom, where a character somehow learned a lesson and in the weirdest, most stupid of ways possible.

Then the guy noticed this and he said, “Stop it! Just stop it! Over three thousand people died on this day over twenty years ago!”

Then the crowd made that studio audience sound, from the 80’s, where to say the main character or wimpy character of the show, just manned up and stopped acting like a big pussy and kiss a girl. That or the girl kisses back, sort of like a surprise sound I guess.

Morgan Freeman around the 80’s didn’t do much, so for me, I would not know as much as you would have. Then the guy said, while still crying like a pussy and try to get passed his cancer bullshit, “Don’t you people have any feelings anymore!? We were all crying every year, but now, you all have changed! You should not all be like this! You should feel sorry for the victims! I mean, I know it’s been 20 years since the attack, but we still got to remember it!”

Then the crowd did that gasp sound like an 80’s live studio audience would have done back in an 80’s sitcom show. Then the guy said, “Well, at least you all care a little bit that much, for starters anyway.”

Then the crowd once more laughed at the guy. However, one guy continued to laugh even though the audience stopped laughing at him, and he laughed show hard, he puked out his intestines and one guy died because he was somehow found it easy to masturbate to what was happening.

Chances are, it’s that guy who goes around YouTube, putting up comments, ‘I find this hard to masturbate to.’, or some shit like that.

Well, at least in the year 2020 or 2021 I believe it was, we finally got rid of that guy who goes around commenting shit like that. Now, we are finally free from the dark days and shit like that.

Then the guy said to all of the fucked up and weird audience members, “You are all horrible people. You should all be ashamed of yourselves!”

Then the guy walked away from the microphone, however, as he was about to walk, away, a guy came up to him, and knocked him out. Then that guy that knocked him out proceeded to take his clothing, to which everyone from the Audience ran to the guy who was knocked out, and proceeded to take every little thing of him.

When the audience was finished, they went back to their seats and all that was ever was from now on, was nothing but bones. Literally, they took his skin and organs, including his asshole. Along with strangely his dick.

But chances are, a really fat ugly bitch who has pimples and braces and glasses on her face, along with Aids, took the dick and masturbated to it, because she could never get a guy to love her.

Not as much as to look at her. Even the boys looked at her, they would turn into stone, and therefore, she was the new Medusa.

Anyways, after Knight had seen what the fuck was going on, he then asked Neon, “Well then, I’ll admit, I’m a bit shocked and not surprised by seeing that. But, can you please tell me why you just randomly ran up to me and asked me to see what Muslims do on 9/11 again?”

Then Neon did not respond to Knight’s question, and just ignored and switch the United States, with a Middle East country, where it was the morning of 9/11.

The sun was just about to rise up, and when Knight was trying to struggle and see what was happening in the dark, as a white guy would do, Neon pushed him through the portal, along with Neon jumping through it as well. Then, they both ended up in the universe, and Knight was still in pony form.

Then, Knight asked, “What the fuck did you do that for Neon!?”

Then Neon said, “Shhhhhhh…..The show is about to begin.”

Then, the sun slowly rose up high into the sky. The Muslim in the bed, then woke up and had a bright smile on his face.

Then he started to sing a song, which is strange, because in Muslim cultural, they are not allowed to sing, but whatever, Muslims are random.

Besides, if I ask why the Muslims suddenly decide to change their ways of life very fast, chances are, I’ll get a hijacked plane heading to my house and trying to kill me.

Good thing that I’m Morgan Freeman, and I’m god, so I can go to heaven and what not or whatever you white people say nowadays. Whatever that fancy white people word is, you get the point.

That, and I get to sit back and watch a Muslims kill 72 virgins in heaven. Anyways, the song went like this.

It sun has risen once more.
It is the month of September.
Today is that very special day!
It is 9/11 once more!
Allah is smiling within my heart!
Everybody’s happy because we Muslims actually got attention.
In the beginning, no one cared about us,
When we had Suddam Hussein, we got a bit of news attention.
We loved that news attention,
But when he died, we no longer had more attention.
Now we have the attention all we want,
Even though it’s very bad, but no one gives a shit!
Everyone’s smiling with their faces,
So happy today is that anniversary,
That we made happen!

So, Knight was confused as fuck, and didn’t understand if the Muslims did 9/11 because they wanted attention, or it was intentional.

Well, the Muslim guy that was singing, then noticed Knight and Neon, and instead of blowing them up with a useless suicide bomber, he said, “Come on Technicolor talking ponies! Join us for the celebration! It’ll be fun!”

Then the Muslims guy put something Muslim like around their necks and started to sing once more. However, the song that the Muslim singed was very boring and repetitive, that not even I, Morgan Freeman, will repeat, because of its bland in boringness.

However, you need at least something to get the idea where I’m coming from, it’s like watching a very bad opera for a day.
Anyways, about three hours into the song, and yes, it ‘s that long of a song, a little Muslim boy went up to his mother that you could not see, because women in that country are not allowed to be hot or some shit like that.

Then the boy asked his mother, “Mother, but we shouldn’t be doing this. We should be sorry for what we did to the Americans.”

Then the mother said, “My son, if you keep talking like that, the evil big bad Uncle Sam is going to get you in your sleep.”

Then the boy said to his mother once more, “Oh mother, don’t you know that is just a silly little old fairy tale that you tell Muslims children so they can be afraid of America.”

Then the mother said to the little Muslim boy, “Yes, and I recall that you were very afraid that the evil big bad Uncle Sam was going to come out from under your bed and give you a bible and freedom and rights.”

Then a guard or whatever those types of Muslims call them who go on portal and make sure no women show a single inch of their skin or a women isn’t alone and Muslims shit.

Yes, you call shit in the Middle East… Muslim shit. Anyways, the guard came out of nowhere with a whip and he started to beat the Muslim woman to a bloody pulp. Then the guard said, “NO TALKING YOU FUCKING WHORE!!! NOR DO YOU NOT SING! Where is your man anyway you child molester that is talking to her son?”

Then the mother asked, “Why? Is It because I over did the Resin Brand crunch cereal this morning? Was it because I put too much in it?”

Then the guard broke her neck and he said, “No! It was because you didn’t do me last night as I ordered you too!”

Then he spat on her, and then looked at the little Muslim boy. Then the guard said, “Hey kid, do you want a sword to beat women to a bloody pulp with and rape them?”

Then the little Muslim boy said, “I sure do!”

Then the guard killed him and he yelled at the dead body, “Well you’re not you little Muslim shit! Only Muslim guards get to do that!”

Then he walked away. Then the song continued for about seven more fucking hours, and at night, it was the finale. Then all the Muslims gathered around a World Trade center tower that was on fire and was singing a fucked up version of, ‘o Christmas tree’.

Then, they ended the night and went to Muslim sleep and dreamed of Muslim dreams, while Knight was still trying to wonder what the fuck happen and Neon had a creepy smile on his face with the world’s smallest pupils ever.

Then, they went back, and Knight had nightmares.

BACK TO KNIGHT…

Well then, that Morgan Freeman part was useless. That and I thought me and Morgan freeman was cool.

I mean, sure I lied to you all, but I was eventually going to tell you about it, like I said before I was going to tell you all the lies that I have said as we go. Anyways, yes, I am aware about Morgan Freeman’s presence, like the last time it happened.
Anyways, with the hot blond chick and all and the hot air balloon tits, she then ate the dog and said, “Ewwwe….this doesn’t taste like tacos. Tasting is so hard. Eating so hard. I’m going to take a picture of me eating this taco bell dog and Instagram it.”

Then she took a picture of her eating the dog alive, and put it on Instragram, and put, ‘#eating dog.’ Strangely enough, I’m surprised no lawsuit or protest by Peta has started up yet.

BACK TO MORGAN FREEMAN

Son of a fuck. I am once again, not too long ago, am back. Well then, at least this one is a short one. Well, if you recall the events of the Peta war, where Peta and that other group fought a war in some room, because Peta was threatening to destroy all computers because of Knight.

Well, it had been three years since that war started, and it might as well be called World War three, because it seemed like it. Well, almost everyone died, except for the group’s leaders, who were strangely enough still alive.

The leader from the other group said, “Look what you have done! You have cost many lives, just because you wanted to destroy every computer that had Knight’s stories!”

Then the Peta leader guy said, “We had to do it! We had to do it for the animals dam it! Can you not see Knight’s evil ways of harming animals!? This was all worth it!”

Then the other leader guy responded with, “We were brothers! We were once friends! Now, you have changed my friend! You have changed! I have no other choice but to throw you in lava and watch you burn!”

Then, somehow, lava appeared, and the Peta guy got burned, while the other leader guy went away. Then, a very old guy, who just happened to be the guy from the BEN Creppypasta, walked up to him, took him home along with his minions, and repaired him.

Then, at the end of the night, the Peta leader guy, was a copy of Darth Vader. When the Peta guy awakened, he asked, “Where is my precious animals at? Are they safe from Knight’s horrific harm?”

Then the old guy said, “No. No, they are not safe. In fact…WE ATE THEM!”

Then the Peta leader guy who was now in a Darth Vader costume, said “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

Really loudly, which woke up the neighbors , to which the guys shot them all, and did other shit. Then, the old guy said to him, after killing the neighbors, “You shall rise my pupil. Soon, you will have revenge.”

Then the Peta leader guy then said, “Yes, I will have my revenge on that other leader guy who was strangely enough was my best friend in the whole world.”

Then John Williams came the fuck out of nowhere and played a dramatic score. Then the old guy said, “That was horrible. I know you can do better than that John Williams.”

So John did, and the score was a lot better.

BACK TO KNIGHT…

I somehow have to figure out a way to have Morgan Freeman stop cutting in when a moment like that is needed. I mean, I am tired of bullshit like that and having black outs and shit happen to me.

Anyways, I then said to the hot chick, with hot air balloon tits, “You do realize that your boyfriend over there said something about rape you, right?”

Then she said, “My boyfriend is going to rape me!?”

Then the boyfriend knocked her out, and took her behind a dumpster in a dark alley and started to bang the fuck out of her. I then decided to get out of the car, because, really…what purpose there was for me to continue sitting in that spot, because more shit was going to happen anyways and it will be a distraction from my life’s story.

Anyways, I got out, and as I was about to meet Craig and Neon in the bar, a few black guys from the hood them came out of nowhere, and one of them asked me and a very deep black guy like voice, “Yo dude, you got any grape soda?”

I then responded back with, “uhhhhh….. no?”

Then the guy eyed me and he asked another question, “Then do you got any grape kool-aid then?”

I then said to them, “Why the fuck would I be carrying grape kool-aid around with me?”

Then the black guys behind him went, “aweeeeee….he doesn’t have it. I thought you said this white guy would have the stuff?”

Then the black guy who talked me then said, “I know guys, and I’m awful sorry for it too. I didn’t mean to get your guy’s hopes up. We just have to keep trying until we find a white guy who has grape soda or grape kool-aid. Maybe we should try that rich white old man down the street over there, who seems to have a cell phone and that is ready to call the hood police because it looks like we’re going to mug him and pointing at him.”

Wow, I thought I would not see that happen. Then again, none of us think that will happen.

Anyways, I then went into the bar and Craig and Neon was already at the bar, having their drinks. I then sat next to Craig and he asked, “There you are Knight! Where have you been!?”

I then told them, “A hot blond chick with hot air balloon tits ate a dog alive and posted on Intragram, and a black guy gang asked me if I had any purple soda or kool-aid, how’s your day been going for you that isn’t fucked up?”

Then Craig said to me, “Ah, it’s been going fine as usual. Come, come, have a seat my friend. Hey Bartender guy! A round for my buddy Knight here!”

Then the bar tender guy said, “You got it!”

Then I was handed my beer, and it just really wasn’t the same. I mean, I prefer either tequila or Iris beer. Not the American type of beer, because it’s just so bland and shit.

Well, anyways, we started to have a conversation about Lauren Faust and shit, and it is also pointless to put it up here, so, whatever.

However, we chatted for a while, and Neon then said, “I’m going to see what I get on that love tester machine right there next to that guy that looks like is depressed as shit that will commit suicide any minute now and that looks like a rapist.”

Then Neon got down and went towards it. Then Craig and I started to talk and start up another conversation. However, while we were having our conversation, behind us, Neon was fucking around with the machine and he got that level as…whatever is on lover tester machines nowadays.

Well, he somehow made it explode and he somehow killed three people in the bar that night. Yea, I don’t know what’s up with that green pony either. Well, anyways, Craig asked me a question, “So, Knight. How you’re enjoying your night so far with your friends?”

I then said to Craig, “What do you mean friends? I just met you a little over an hour ago.”

Then Craig said, “Come on Knight, We are friends. Even if we haven’t met each other since tonight; besides, me, you, and Neon, are the three best friends that anyone could have.”

Yea, he was stealing that from the Hangover, but in a sense, it was kind of a good feeling to know that he thought the three of us as the best three friends that anyone could have.

In addition, when Craig said that, Neon slowly rose from under the bar, very creepily, and he started to sing.

We are the three best friends that anyone could,
We are the three best friends that anyone could have.
And we will never ever ever ever leave each other.

Then everyone at the bar started to start to make a rhythm and started to sing along with us at the bar late at night. Then Neon continued to sing…

We are the three best friends that anyone can have,
We are the three best friends that anyone could have.
We are the three best friends that anyone could have,
We are the three best friends that anyone could have!
And we will never ever ever ever leave each other no matter.

Then for some add reason, a dirty old hobo barged in and started singing. He pretty much singed…
I’m the hobo from right across the street,

I heard this singing, while I was trying to get some sleep.
I agree that you are the three best friends anyone could have.
As I look deep into your eyes, I could defiantly tell,
That you would never ever ever leave each other for no non-sense at all.
Now if you gentleman excuse me,
I shall go ahead and rape this rat I posse in my right hand.

Then Neon continued to sing his part, once again.

We are the three best friends that anyone could have,
We are the three best friends that anyone could have.
And we will never ever ever leave each other no matter what.
We are the three best friends that anyone could have,
We are the three best friends that anyone could have!

Then a person who was in the bathroom, then opened the door very quickly and started to sing his part as well. His part was…

This song is beautiful,
Just like riding the waves, of, the ocean!
Of course I don’t know,
What the hell I’m singing anymore!
However, I know for a fact,
That you three gentleman are the three best friends that anyone could have,
That would never ever ever leave each other would remain loyal to each other forever.
Now if you gentleman will excuse me,
I’ve got to make a tweet that I’m taking a piss and a shit at the same time,
While using the same hand that I use to wipe my ass with.

Then Neon continued to sing his part once more. However, this time for a finale, a marching band came out of fucking nowhere and started to play.

I believe this marching band came from a raping alleyway. What, you never heard of a raping alleyway?

I don’t blame you, it only exists in Equestria…for some odd, weird, twisted reason..for that matter. Anyways, Neon then singed for the finale part…

We are the three best friends that anyone could have,
We are the three best friends that anyone could have!
And we will never ever ever ever leave each other no matter what.
We are the three best friends that anyone could have,
We are the three best friends that anyone have!
And we will never ever ever leave each other no matter what happens!

So…yea, good song I will admit. I mean, it didn’t certainly make much sense, but the budget was defiantly there.
Apparently, the budget for that was still more then what Ponyville had. Then again, Equestria uses bits, while Americans uses Americans shit, because Americans and we have shit.

Well, there is a way to convert the value from their money to your money’s worth, but it’s complicated. So just go on with my word on it…even though I’ve lied to you many of times before.

Anyways, all I’m going to say is this for the song. The song was great, but I don’t know what is going on with that hobo raping a rat.

For some reason now, I believe that rat man myth in Grand Theft Auto IV, I believe that is where the rumor came from is that they saw a hobo raping a rat, and they though rat man somehow existed.

Then again, what the fuck do I know, I’m thousands of years old, and haven’t played a GTA game within years.
Anyways, yea, I should also mention that I somehow heard him and raping the rat. I mean, the rat was just begging for help, but sadly, the rat was fucked. It is as if an elephant got his dick stuck in a kitten’s asshole.

Anyways, as for that guy in the bathroom, tweeting shit, well then, perhaps that’s why my life sucked and why I needed to find a way out of my other boring useless life.

I just needed a tweeter account, because apparently, everyone had it and somehow the ones that used it, especially while taking a piss, they seemed pretty important and quite gentleman like people.

Of course, that explains how Lauren Faust got shit done and got successful and was chosen by Hasbro to do My Little Pony. She had a fucking Tweeter account.

Then again, back when I was on Earth, I found that having a Tweeter was useless and pointless. Mostly because I didn’t feel the need that anyone who was reading my tweets, needed to know when I was having sex, and doing the ‘69’ position, along with having every single detail to what used to be my boring life.

No one needs to know what the shit that I’ve done. Besides, it involved killing the Prime Minster of Canada and taking it over, along with…well, let’s just say a ‘problem’ with the Jews. I prefer not to go into details about it. Let us just leave it at…many tombstones needed to be made.

Anyways, that happened, and I would like to know where that marching band came from anyways. I mean, it reminds me of that movie, The Wolf of Wall Street, where a marching band somehow comes into the offices. Then again, that does not sound such a bad idea.

In fact, that would be the greatest idea of all time. Maybe I am over thinking it there, but whatever, it’s my opinion, and my opinion matters and every other opinion can go fuck itself right in the asshole of…whatever words have.

Anyways, right when everyone was done singing, Craig said to me, “So, are we the three best friends that anyone could have?”

I’ll admit, I had a bit of a smile on my face and I’ll admit, we were three best friends that anyone could have. I mean, we went to bars late at night, we did shit, we pretty much did that basic friend shit that every friend does.

Of course, we did not watch the show ‘Friends’ because that would be very…bad of a thing to do. Well, my opinion states that the 90’s sucked and Friend’s was kind of not the best thing around for me. Let us just say I have nightmares about the 90’s, and even though I still live in Equestria, I still have those nightmares. Dam you furbies! Dam you all to hell! Sorry, just trying to repress a horrible memory from my past, from the 90’s. Let us move on now, for there is still much more to cover.

Well, as I said before, I was happy and had a smile on my face. I then said to Craig, “Yea…yea we are the three best friends that anyone could have.”

Then Craig said to me, “That’s the sprit! Although, I have to admit, that I haven’t heard that song in years. What movie did that song come off from?”

Then I answered Craig’s question with, “That song came from The Hangover. I mean…haven’t you seen that movie?”

Then Craig responded to me with, “Well, yea, I did…but…when did that movie come out?”

I then said to Craig, “The Hangover came out back in 2009…why? I mean, how many years has it been since 2009?”

Then Craig, said, “Wait,…that song has been out since 2009? Wow, it was as if 2009 was just yesterday. I’m getting old man.”

Then a thought popped up in my head, mostly because I rather felt what Craig said was bullshit. I mean, he did not look old. Then again, at the time, it was some year in the future.

I mean, I knew I was in the future, but I was never told what exact year I was back on Earth. Well, I then asked Craig, “Well, what year were you born Craig?”

Then Craig said to me, “I was born on March 31st, 1971.”

I then took the phone that Neon had, or in other words, stole from a guy that he killed while me and Craig was complaining.
I then went to the website on the phone…which…might I add, surprisingly in the future, the phone wireless network kind of get’s shitty.

You would think it would be a bit better then it was like seven years ago, but apparently, it goes in the opposite direction.
Anyways, I went to the website When was I Conceived.

Yea, it was a bit weird, but highly accurate surprisingly.

It turns out that it wasn’t some douchebag who was lying to you, working behind a rundown Asian owned apartment complex, where there are giant cockroaches, that are holding knives, and threatening to kill you if you step in their turfs.

Then again…I kind of blame the schools for that happening, but, whatever, the schools are lazy. They just let any kid do whatever the fuck he wants to nowadays.

However, that is not important. There will be a chance where I’ll tell you my fucked up stories about how I killed certain kids and teachers and shit…it was all a big ol’ mess.

Anyways, I looked it up on the phone and I said to Craig, “Well, apparently to this website that I am on…it says that you were conceived between July 4th through July 12th of the year 1970.”

Then Craig asked, “What the hell when I was conceived has to do with anything?”

I then said to him, “Well…according to the website, the popular movie and song that your parents might have fucked before watching or while listening to says it right on here. The movie that week that your parents possibly fucked while watching the movie at a dirty porno theatre was ‘Airport’. The song that your parent’s possibly did the 69 position while your mom gave your father a blow job was Mama told me not to come by three dogs night. Well, you are kind of old, but in all truth, you’re really not at this point. Um…how old are you right now?”

Then Craig said, “I’m currently 49 years old of age.”

I then asked Craig another question, which was, “And how old is your wife at the moment?”

Then Craig responded with, “Well, I don’t usually keep track how old she is, nor do I keep track of our anniversaries. I mean, I usually just get her a last minute gift that I get from a child molester from down the street. However, I do recall one of her non-existent friends, well, at least to me it’s non-existent, mostly because I don’t care about her friends and I’m just pretending they don’t exist, she’s 46.”

I then said to Craig, “Well then, she looks good for her age then.”

Then Craig asked me, “When was my wife conceived anyways…just out of curiosity?”

Yea, …just out of curiosity. I’ll believe Craig when the cat of Uranus goes up your mamas asshole that farts itself way up to the moon.

I have no idea what I just said there, but I believe you got the point that I was trying to get across. Anyways, I looked up on a dead guy’s phone, and I do have to admit, I feel like I have a curse on me for doing such a thing, because it’s a dead guy’s phone. It is like stealing a dead guy’s shoe, which surprisingly I know of some people who have done that before.

Anyways, that being said and all, and for once I didn’t say shit, while I’m on a fucking phoenix! Whatever, we are getting a bit off track here, that, I looked up Lauren Faust’s week that chances were that she was conceived.

I looked it up and told my buddy ol’ pal Craig, and apparently this is the 50’s, “Well then Craig…your wife was conceived between the dates of October 28th through November 5th of 1973 Apparently.”

Then Craig said, “Well…what movie and song came out that week when she was conceived?”

I then saw the information and told to Craig, “The popular movie that her parent’s might have or might have not masturbated to before they raped each other was The Way We are. And the song that was most heard that week that Lauren’s parents might have listened to while doing anal was Midnight Train to Georgia by Glady’s Knight and the pips. Son of a bitch, they stole my idea.”

Then Craig said, “Really, is that what Lauren’s Parents listened to while they fucked the night away underneath the stars?”

I then said, “Apparently so. Apparently Lauren’s parents did hump each other’s brain’s out while giving hand jobs and blow jobs, while Lauren’s father ate her mother’s pussy that she might have had an orgasm and came all over the place.”

Then Craig said, “Well then, I’m surprised that my in-laws did the clever steamer and fingering each other at the same time.”

Then I said, “Yup, its so surprising that they did the seated scissors and Baring the scepter. While also doing it on the Counter Top and the Butterfly position.”

Then Craig said, “Yea, I know what you mean. My parents did the Modified Coital Alignment Technique, The Shake n’ Bake, and The Happy Scissors. However, Lauren’s parents did The Doggie Style, The lap Dance, and right minded, although with the right minded one, all it did was help my mom have an orgasm. I mean, Lauren’s parent’s did a sexual game called kinky cards, one step forward, one step back, sex toys hide and seek, and 20 naughty questions, while my parents did the Women on top position. My dad was such a pussy when he did my mom.”

I then said to Craig, “Yea, I know that feel bro. My cat did the same thing to another cat. Also, Twilight has been asking me to play a sex game where she blind folds me and she uses a few sex toys on me and I would have to guess which one she’s using. However, she never said this directly to me, but I read her diary, and it said that she would like to do that to me.

Either Twilight has physical needs that aren’t being met and she’s just using me as a way to get her physical needs, or she really has the hots for me.”

Yea, I read Twilight’s diary before, and there is a lot of thing she wants to do to me. Scary things that she wants to do to me…I’m scared…please help.

Then Again, that was years ago and she no longer loves me. However, it’s not because she hates me for doing something to her, but let’s just say ‘I did something’.

Well, we stood silent for a bit, while thinking of the sex shit we just talked about, when Craig’s wife called him on his cell phone, which I’m wondering why the fuck he didn’t pull that out in the first place while we were in the van complaining and Neon didn’t have to skill someone.

Well, Craig’s wife called and she said over the phone, “Honey, where are you?”

Then Craig had an expression on his face that says, ‘help me or I’m fucked shock expression.’ He said to his wife, “Oh why do you ask such a question my dearest and beautiful wife of mine? Why, I wouldn’t be at a bar at this late, now would I?”

Then his wife said, “Well, I woke up because I thought I heard someone break into the house, and I don’t see your car in the drive way, so I was a bit worried. Where are you Craig?”

Then Craig said, “Well, I was called to go into work early honey of mine….I am just waiting for the Disney guy to tell me something that is possibly good news about something. I’m just waiting in my office, with the TV on.”

Then his wife said, “Well, I don’t hear the TV then?”

Then Craig said to her, “Well, then you are a deaf bitch then, because the TV is loud as fuck in my office. Can’t you hear?”

Then he signaled in the bar as into help him out and make fake TV noise. Also, I cannot believe that Lauren bought that Craig has a TV in his office.

Anyways, soon everyone made fake noise. One guy made a noise that you would see on Cops, and two black guys did the theme song to it as well. The guy said, “Today on Cops. We have a white guy…and a black guy…what’s going to go down? Watch now…on today’s episode.”

Then another guy that sounds like an Australian said, “Oh, look at that baby of an animal. It so cute, you want to rape its tiny cute little asshole. Yea, I want to go up to it right now and rape it.”

Then a couple started to have moans, as if they were doing it and having hardcore sex. Of course, they were reenacting a porno, in fact, they were so good at it, it was as if they were giving each other’s hand jobs underneath the table, as if the wife was giving the hand job and the husband was fingering her.

Then again, I did see cum on the floor…well then my god they did it. Well, then a soccer game sound was made, because why the fuck would there be a football game in the middle of the night?

Actually, that sounds interesting if there ever was a football game at night. I need to find an alternate universe that happens later on.

That’s if I don’t get caught by Celestia or Luna that is…anyways, then there was a French guy that said, “Oh my love, you are just as beautiful as Paris.”

Then he kissed his own cock, and no, I am not bullshiting you. He really did a…I don’t know…I think a ninety degree or a bit more then that or less of a degree. How the fuck should, I know!

I ain’t no dam Asian. I mean, it isn’t like there’s Asians around in Equestria or anything. Sure, there’s the country of Japony, but I’m not going to fly all the way there, just so I can get a mathematical degree question answered.

Besides, that’s what a Twilight is for. Either you rape it, or you use it as a calculator. Also, that ‘it’ I put, isn’t a typo.

Anyways…aside from other bullshit, Lauren got the idea that Craig was at his office, watching TV. Lauren said to Craig, “Well, have a good day at work then honey. I’ll see you later when you get home.”

Then Craig said to his wife, “Yup and I’ll see you later in hell you bitch.”

Then Craig hanged up and put his phone in his pocket. I am just so shocked that Craig and Lauren can keep up a relationship, especially since they have been married for over eighteen years at this point in time.

I mean, I don’t know…but at the same time, it seems it’s going to be alright. Well, we then sat there with silence, while I was just still sitting there with complete shock in my eyes to what my ears just heard, Craig’s watch went off.

By the way, may I add, whom the fuck still buys watches anymore? I mean, you have your cell phones and your fancy red neck tablets; there is no purpose of having a watch anymore.

Then again, old people still need to use it, so they do not accept the fact that they have all timers and they pretend that it is still the 60’s. I mean, I know that they would like to pretend, but our war with the Asians are over, so they should just adapt to more advanced technology, that is better than a fucking watch.

Well, Craig looked at his watch, even though he’s not really old, and he said, “Speaking of being at work, it looks like I have to go now.”

For once, Craig talked like a normal human being that day, and it is a day, which will live in infamy, and a day that I will never forget. Anyways, I then said to Craig, “Really, you need to go to work at three in the fucking morning?!”

Then Craig said to me, “Well, my boss knows I bring in the most money into the company, so he kind of wants to go over a few things with me and shit.”

I then asked Craig, “Who the fuck tells you to go to work three in the morning?”

Then Craig said, “Oh…you’ll see who it is as soon as we go to my office. Hey Neon, I got to go to work!”

Then Neon came up to us covered in blood and guts and he said to us, “No problem guys, I killed everyone at the bar except for our only witness…The Bar tender. Duh duh duh.”

I then said to Neon, “We didn’t say for you to kill everyone at the bar.”

Then Neon said, “Exactly…” Then I said, “Ok then Craig, let’s go to your job quick before I try to start thinking of what Neon said and my brain explodes.”

Then Neon said to me, “Knight, don’t you know when you try to think of the number forty-two, then your head would explode.”

Then I said, “Neon, that’s ridiculous.”

Then Neon said, “Come on Knight, how do you think Walt Disney died?”

I Then figured out what he meant a few years later, because at first, I was confused, as a normal intelligence creature would be. Well, what Neon meant by that is, somehow, Neon made a living calculator, made it go back in time, and assassinated Walt Disney.

How did the non-living thing to such a thing? Well, it required to put the number forty-two on the screen, Walt looked at it, he thought of the number, and his head exploded.

Soon, the calculator was rewarded with a medal of honor and was declared president of the United States…in another universe of course.

Well, soon we were on the road, going to Craig’s place of work. Soon, we arrived at the Disney cooperation and I’ll admit, it was a decent office for the year 2020.

Soon, we entered the building and we went straight to Crag’s office. No one else but a guy with a pair of glasses, who was fat and had a mustache that made you look like a pedophile was there as well.

He was somewhat weird and reminded me of that one guy from Office Space, where he burned everything down.

However, that reminds me of Neon. Although, lately at the time, I thought Neon was a bit off, because he wasn’t burning things as much as he was used to. Yea, I kind of wanted the old Neon, where he was always a weirdo and a fucking creepy ass pony who always killed others at pure random and set things on fire to come back to me.

I will admit, I’ve created a soft spot in my heart for that kind of Neon. Anyways, I walked into Craig’s office, and he had a nice workspace…along with his TV.

I cannot believe Craig has a TV in his office. Then again, I guess we are all lazy when it comes to our work and we just end up watching good ol’ American TV.

That, and somehow Craig got free cable, however, I believe Neon helped him out by threatening the Cable Guy, along with Jim Carry. Now, only this once I will congrats Neon on doing the world a favor, he took care of Jim Carry. Neon is a national hero for doing such a thing.

Anyways, we kind of waited till Craig’s boss came in, and soon his boss did. Well, guess who the fuck it was, Mickey fucking Mouse! Well, the midget mouse soon walked in, while talking in his high-pitched voice, “Craig McCracken! Get your ass over here! I got great news you son of a bitch! We just bought DC Comics. Now we can make even more money you fucking douche! Come in here for a hug!”

Soon, Craig and Mickey hugged, while Neon said to me, “awe…that’s nice. Hey, knight, you want a hug?”

Then I said, “I don’t think I want a hug of death right now.”

Then Neon said to me, “Come on Knight, it’s a nice, heartwarming feeling, murdering, blood gushing, staby feeling. And I need a hug because I’m the one who helped Craig and Disney buy DC Comics.”

I then said to Neon with a straight face, “First off, nothing is heartwarming with you ever, and second, I knew that was coming.”

Then Neon said to me, “Oh, you can just read me like a book can’t you Knight.”

I was then about to make a joke to Neon, but I didn’t feel like pissing Neon off with it and end up being killed by him. Trust me, being killed by Neon is a horrible way to die, because he makes sure your death is slow and painful.

Anyways, soon Craig went to his boss’s office, talked business, and for Craig’s shows on the network and soon Neon and I went back to Equestria, where we kind of belonged at.

My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Universal Magic: Episode 21: Shadow and the Cutie Mark

Well, it was still in the middle of the night by the time we got back to Equestria, so I got Neon out of the house and I enjoyed my rest of the night…till Wolf showed up of course.

Ok, I still enjoyed my night with him, but still. Well, what Wolf and I did was shit. Well, not shit shit, but shit, as in regular daily shit. Sort of like your daily dose of shit that you would usually get every day.

Anyways, what we did was we went off the grid again, or just went outside of the universe that is. It’s where we usually go every time we want to hang out and we don’t want to be in Equestria to do it.

Well, there was no lights on, even though the non-existent ceiling does give off a light, I used my techniques that I’ve skilled over my many years of life and dimmed it down a lot, but just enough where you can just about see.

We had a flat screen TV, with a PS5 hooked up and cable along with a Blu-Ray player with a bunch of movie while being connected to the internet from Earth.

Yea, it’s hard to explain, but with my skills I was able to get it to connected online so we could do shit. Well, we were on the PS5, but I wasn’t playing anything, mostly because I was a bit half drunk from the bar I just had gotten back from.

So, I was just watching Wolf play, and how you may ask how he plays even though he has no fingers. I don’t know either, but he somehow does play with the controller.

Maybe it’s because of his claws, but his claws are a bit too short to reach and they can’t really spread out now…can they?
Well, whatever, it is just an unsolved mystery of the universe. Well, Wolf was on a Call of Duty Game, which was called Call of Duty: Black Ops 4. Wolf was playing an online match, team death match of course, and as usual, Wolf was doing alright.
He was doing what the average gamer would do on a match, as in get some kills, get killed sometimes. Rinse and repeat like that and shit.

Well, while he was doing that, I was looking through the games that Earth had just released, but strangely, not noticing what year it was made in at the time. Well, I looked through the games, and I asked Wolf, “Wolf, why don’t you play these other games? I mean, you’ve been playing Black Ops 4 for a while now.”

Then Wolf said to me, “Come on dude, this is still fine. I mean sure, it’s nothing new then Call of Duty 15 was, but it’s good.

For one thing, you get to use new and original weapons, such as the cat and dog launcher, where you get to use cats and dogs as ammo instead of real bullets.”

I saw what wolf was saying and the weapon was useless, but people still got the game because of it, but all he was doing was killing cats and gods. Fuck it man, he even went up to one of them in the game and skinned one alive, but only because it was the only new thing for the game series in general. I mean, even I would have got the game because of that feature.

Well, I then said to Wolf, “Well, what about playing Assassin’s Creed VII.”

Then Wolf said to me, “Come on man that game series isn’t good anymore. I mean in Assassin’s Creed VII, all you do is play during the Civil war years, doing pointless missions for Abraham Lincoln and eventually killing and faking his death at Ford’s Theatre.”

I then said, “ Well, I’ll agree, it wasn’t the best of all games. Although I can’t believe the game got a perfect score on all the gaming magazines and websites. Well, what about Far Cry 6?”

Then Wolf said, “Ubisoft isn’t even trying anymore with that game.”

Then I said to Wolf once again, “What about Grand Theft Auto VIII?”

Then Wolf said, “All it is a storyline where you go and murder strippers. There’s nothing new to the game series.”

I then said, “Well… what about Tom Clancy’s Splinter Cell: Night Stalker.”

Then Wolf said, “Isn’t that the game where you literally rape women and kill people with no plot to it all?”

Then I said, “Perhaps. Well, there is also The Last of Us 3. That’s supposed to be a good game. There’s also Watch Dogs 2 and Resident Evil 9.”

Then wolf asked me, “How is Capcom still a company if they don’t have any money?”

Then I said, “Well, they did rob a few banks and got away with it and said it was in self-defense.”

Then Wolf said, “That makes a lot of sense actually. You can never tell when those swiftly accountants are going to harass you and rape your soda cans.”

Sadly, it was true; you never know when that’s going to happen. Then I made another suggestion of, “Well, what about Dark Souls 3?”

Then wolf said, but a bit of excitement this time around, “Oh man, I’ve been wanting to play that for years now. I hear it’s the hardest game ever made. I heard one story, where there was an awesome mass suicide because of it.”

I then asked Wolf, “Wolf, how the fuck is that even awe…you got high while I was gone, didn’t you?”

Then Wolf said, “Eyup. I’ve been more relaxed then Kurt Kuban, or who ever that 90’s pop music guy was who committed suicide in a house and shit.”

I then asked Wolf, “Well, ok then, what do you suggest playing other then Black Ops 4?”

Then Wolf said, “What about the popular new IP series, Debt and cocka banana trees?”

I then asked, “What the fuck are those games?”

Then Wolf said , “Well, Debt is all about you getting payback that others owes you in debts, and you owe other in debts, so you have to be stealthy and shit do other shit. As for Cocka Banana Tree, you’re a walking, living, breathing, giant banana that goes around doing shit that I’m not sure if it exists or not.”

Then I said, “That sounds like a horrible game.”

Then Wolf said, “Yea, tell that to those who love it, which is apparently only a thirteen year old kid that does shit on Wikipedia.”

Then TK and Factory Dash was walking by us and I said to TK, “Hey man, what’s up?”

Then he said to me in his emotionless voice of his, “Knight, I might have found where TF is hiding, but unfortunately, I don’t have all the information. When you went back to get the signal back in Manehatten, I found out that there were other signals that was helped to broadcast the TV signal. Apparently, TF used several devices to help transmit it, and I was able to hack into one. However, he has many of these devices that I can’t find them all, and they are scarred across multiple universes that we already have been to. It even looks like he put one on Earth somehow. Even the place that you don’t even want to talk about.”

I then said to TK, “Listen, I might be able to track down the devices whenever I can, but for one thing, there is no chance in hell that I’m going back to that universe. Not what happened and what I went through…emotionally wise anyways. Besides, I left the place with tears and I promised myself I wouldn’t go back.”

Then TK said to me, “But you knew that you were going to go back to it anyways…”

I then finished TK’s sentence with, “When the time is right… and right now… it is not.”

Then TK said to me, “I’ll talk to you later about what else I’ve found out through hacking through the device about TF, but for right now, me and Factory Dash have to check out the abandoned universe to see if TF is there or not. If he is and he has no defenses, then we’ll be taking him down there.”

Then TK and Factory Dash left us alone. However, I then put my concentration back into Wolf’s game match, Wolf had a headset on, and Wolf died. Then a nine-year-old little shit then said to Wolf over the mic, “Ha Ha, you’re a fag and a loser. I killed you, you should go kill yourself right now you fucking noob. I’m better then you and you’re gay for getting killed, even though everyone dies in the match anyways, you little bitch.”

Then Wolf said with rage, “That song of a mother fucking ass cocking monkey shit son of a Bitch!!! I’m going to kick that little shit’s asshole!”

I then thought for a moment, and I said, “Wait a fucking second here… that’s the kids who ruined the fucking Wikipedia pages and trolled me! Wolf, get me into the match now!”

Then Wolf put a plug in for me and even though I was still in my pony form, I could still use my magic to push the buttons. I also put on a headset and the match started. Soon…. Wolf and I were getting our asses kicked… well sort of.

Anyways, the match soon ended and the kid said once again we’re fags and we should kill ourselves. I then said over the mic, “Hey, you know what you little shit, you better start using those words proper before I go to your home and kick your ass for what you said to me and changing those Wikipedia pages you fucker!”

Then somehow his mother heard what I said and she said, “What!? You did what!? Boy, I’m going to slap your ass so hard, you’ll be bleeding your ass out! I’ll get your father now boy! Father!? Go get your gun! You son here thinks it’s funny to change web pages on Wikipedia!”

Then the father said, “What!? Boy, I thought I taught you better then that when I was drunk. Come here you little shit!”

Then I heard three gun shots and a police came in, asking what the fuck was going on and shit happened. It was as if the world ended over at that place. Let’s just say an affair was happening, a peach was a bomb and purple people became an asshole eaters.

As I said, shit happened, let us move on with life here.

Well, I then asked Wolf, “Hey, Wolf, why don’t we ever play an RPG game nowadays?”

Then Wolf said to me, “I don’t know why, possibly because it’s too Asian like for us to handle?”

I then said, “Yea, but sometimes it’s awesome to play. I mean, take Persona 4 golden for example, it was a great game and it we should play it.”

Then Wolf said, “Hey, isn’t that the game with a weird and catchy intro to it?”

I then said, “Yea.”

Then Wolf asked, “What if you, your friends, and I were part of that intro and to say our life was like an RPG game. How would the intro be like?”

We then stared each other for a moment and I opened up a portal where this idea of a universe exists, and my god, I wanted to kill myself for what I had seen. I even had my jaw drop, along with Wolf’s to the ground. Fuck it man, I even punched Wolf for no reason in the head.

Anyways, we soon continued to Play Black Op 4 that night, and we also played a zombie map where you’re in a grave yard, and Zombie Michel Jackson starts to dance along with the zombies of course to Thriller.

It was the best map there ever was. Then, we went back home and the sun was about to rise. I then went to my front door and grabbed the newspaper, and for once, it wasn’t about me on the front cover and shit like that, although I was still the talked about news inside the paper though, but not front page at least.

Well, somewhere on the other side of town, there was Shadow, Mac farmer’s little brother. He was getting ready for school and shit, and of course, this chapter is about him, but I had to explain those parts to you I guess.

Well, Shadow was getting ready for school, and he was about to leave his house, when he asked Mac, “Big brother, do I have to go to school?”

Then Mac said to him, “Boy, I would let you stay home so I can continue to chug empty beer bottles at you, but Equestrian law states a bullshit law that all children have to go to school or I will be in a dungeon or something. So go on to your fancy school and shit, while I try to get pa up from his comma, at least I think he is in a comma. I hope he is, and then I can steal his shit from him, and buck the apples and shit.”

Then Shadow said, “But, don’t you usually go to the bar and get drunk with your friends instead of bucking apples all week?”

Then Mac said to his little brother, “Mac, smart talk like that is going to get your ass kicked around here in these parts, so shut the fuck up while I go get drunk and send more death threats to Applejack’s little sister, Applebloom. I would have you do it, but you’re a pussy.”

Then Mac spat on him and walked away to do his shit. Well, Shadow just stood there, didn’t know what to think of his own brother just spitting on him. Well, Shadow went to school…with no friends whatsoever, on his usual route.

He eventually got to school or schoolhouse I should say. Strange, it seems like the ponies are living in the 1800’s, but with all this technology they have, it seems like it is a normal time period.

Anyways, asides from that, he went into the building and took his seat. He was also just happened to be sitting next to a bully and a retard for a minion.

The bully’s name was Artier Heartless. Oh, you can see where this is going, can’t you? Also, I don’t know what’s up with his name, but it seems foreigny to me, but that’s my opinion.

Now his retard minion, was…surprisingly Retard. Yup, a pony named Retard, my god this show gets better and better by the minute. Well, the retard just did whatever Artier told him to do and was a fucking retard, so he didn’t do much.

In fact, I don’t know if the kid had any parents. I believe he did at one point, but due to him being a retard and all, he somehow killed them. That and he is kind of creepy, because he goes cross eyes ninety-five percent of the time you’re around him.

I’m actually getting kind of scared of him right now, even more then Neon, and that’s saying a lot. Well, Shadow sat in his desk, while Artier just said to him, “Ah! Your father is a drunken sleaze and your big brother is an all time douchebag, but my father and mother is dead, thank Celestia, while my big brother doesn’t give me any crap at all. So I clearly have to tell you this, so you can be ashamed and depressed about your life because I have no point in this at all.”

I still don’t understand what the fuck he said there, but I believe that is the first time ever the word Crap has been written in this here book you’re reading.

Anyways, so the teacher eventually walked in, and I could not tell if it was a stallion, but he was a lazy ass teacher and clearly didn’t give a fuck about the students. Although, now that I think about it...he was a stallion. Well, the teacher’s name was Latte Pop.

Well, Latte just walked right in by busting through the door as a manic would or something like that. Well, he then slumped to his desk and put his shit on the desk and he said to all the children in the classroom, “Listen up you little shits! Do whatever the fuck you want! I don’t give a fuck!”

Then a smart-ass nerd kid then said, “But sir, you must be joking. This is a school, for us fillies and colts to learn and expand our knowledge. It is also so we can learn about the real world and so you, the teacher, can prepare us for what is to come in the near future of our daily lives. So, may I suggest that you actually teach us something today instead of letting us do nothing at all and completely waste our time in this building that you call a school for once?”

Then Latte said to all the kids, “Whoever beats up the nerd kid get’s an A on their report card.”

Then all the kids, except for Artier, Shadow, the nerd kid and Retard, mostly because he is retarded, took out a knife and what appears to be a hammer.

Then the nerd kid looked worried and tried to make a run for it, but he was beaten to a bloody pulp and almost was left there at the school for dead.

Well, after the kids were done beating the shit out of that pony that I have no emotions for whatsoever, a female pony in the class with a bright yellow main did say, “I believe this nerd here has a point? We got to at least learn something or least give us something to look up ourselves later on.”

Then every pony agreed in the room, while the nerd pony just laid there with all of his teeth knocked out and blood bleeding from everywhere. Well, Latte then said, “Fine then, if it will get you little fuckers off of my fucking back, then learn something about cutie marks then.”

Then Latte did some crack and did other things that were not appropriate for the kids, such as looking at porno magazines in front of the class, but whatever, apparently the school system here in Stalia is much worse then in America.

Actually, I take that back, it is better than in America. Why you may ask even though it is not really much of a question at all? Well, I don’t know, but I just have a feeling that it just is.

Well, anyways the kids then talked and pretend that the nerd kid wasn’t there still lying on the ground with blood coming out from his mouth and talking about their shit and cutie marks.

Well, Shadow didn’t have anypony to talk to, so he just sat there like a bump on a log and pretended if he actually wanted to commit suicide, even though he just wanted a big brother that wouldn’t abuse him and some friends that would actually care for him.

Yea, you see, Shadow did have friends in the past, but they ended up ditching him and not give a shit about him. I mean, all he wanted was just a normal good pony life, and unfortunately, for him, he doesn’t get that, because Mac is a douchebag, his father is…I really don’t know.

I swear I’ve only seen him alive only once, but the rest of the time he’s unconscious all most all of the time. In fact...I think he's just plain old dead and Mac is in denial that the father's dead. That, and he didn’t have any friends, bully’s that are complete assholes and makes no sense, a teacher who doesn't give a flaming fuck about him, not one bit.

So basically, it was Shadow versus the world. However, of course, what about me and the other guys?

Well, for one thing, my friends do not care either, nor do I, but I do admit, I do feel bad for him, but I wasn't going to help him out. Besides, I wouldn’t know how to fix his problems without Mac complaining about shit that isn’t relevant and it’s all about Applejack, the parents finding out about me killing their son, Artier, and forcing them to be friends with Shadow.

That’s the only way that I could help him out, but it’s unfortunate that it would happen with problems that I can’t fix, but whatever, Shadow was on his own from my own point of view of things.

Well, soon the kids were talking about their cutie marks, and Shadow looked at his ass, for he was staring at a clear ass, because he didn’t have a cutie mark of his own. Well, soon Artier then said, “Well then, it appears that you have no cutie mark, and I have a cutie mark of money on my ass, so that means I am better then you in every way possible. Even though you can still possibly get a cutie mark that is better than mine, I’m still better then you.”

Then Retard said, “Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh, what do I do now boss?”

Then Artier said to him, “Quiet you. Now laugh with me Retard. Laugh with me until we remember of our days past and wait for day’s future to come and fuck with us and all that good jolly shit that these kids say these days. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha haha ha h ha ha ha ha ha ha.”

Then Retard said, “ hahahha hahhahha hahhahah hahhahha hahhahha hahhahhah hahhahha.”

Then Shadow was sad as shit and continued to look depressed, for he did not have a picture on his ass. So, Shadow sat in his seat, and waited for the school day to come to an end.

As soon as it ended, Shadow went back home to the farm and was outside. He was talking to Mac, and he was standing in front of a tree. Shadow said to his big brother Mac, “Mac, can I ask you a question? How do I get a cutie mark to appear on my flank?”

Then Mac said to Shadow, “Shadow, you need to hold still so I can aim at your head and throw this empty beer bottle at you and try to violently abuse you because I don’t give a fuck about you at all.”

Then Mac threw the bottle and Mac missed Shadow’s head by eleven feet. Then Mac said, “Dam it! That was my last beer bottle! Well, I might as well try to help you out since I can’t abuse you. Well, my guess is for you to do something in the family that is apple related. However, if it’s related to Applejack, I will then have to kill you and leave your body in the Everfree Froest for the Timber Wolves.”

Then Shadow said to Mac, “But, you do the same thing as Applejack does. You harvest apples and you sell them.”

Then Mac said to his little brother, “No! What I do is different then what shitty Applejack does with her shitty apples. She just sells apples that are shit, while I sell my apples differently. I cut a chicken's throat open over them and cover them with the chicken's blood, so it is a different apple taste then Applejack’s apples. I also sell them with nothing on it but when it’s been up a chipmunk’s asshole, which turns out it splits them in half, so I just throw the remains to the orphans down the street over there, leaving them to eat it raw and filled with maggots. Now come with me Shadow, so I can teach you how to sell Apples the right way and not the wrong way like Applejack does it.”

Then Mac and Shadow went to the market place in Stalia, to sell their apples. When they went to the market place, the market was booming. The tempo of Stalia changed.

Buildings were higher. The parties were bigger and the morals were loser. The liquor was cheaper and restlessness approached hysteria. Ok, that might have been a bit over dramatic a bit and might have or might have not been a rip off from The Great Gatsby.

However, you get the point that the place was doing very well that day old sport. Dam it, I did it again. Anyways, besides that and The Great Gatsby rip-offs, Mac set up the apple stand and put the apples out.

Then, Mac said to Shadow, “Now, listen and watch very closely. I’m about to show you how to sell some apples, and that is a much better way then what Applejack does. It’s even a professional way of selling things.”

Then Mac slowly took a knife out, went up to a random pony, and held him hostage, by holding a knife up to his neck. Then the random pony said, “Ah! What do you want from me!?”

Then Mac said in a kind way, “I want you to buy my mother fucking apples you piece of fucking dog shit!”

Then the random pony said, “Alright, I’ll buy your apples! Just please don’t hurt me!”

Then the random pony took out his money, which was in a bag and gave it to Mac, to which then Mac gave the random pony his apples that he was forcefully paid for.

Then Mac told him in a kind of voice, that was more kind then what Fluttershy would have said it in, “Now you’re my mother fucking bitch from now on you pussy!”

Then the random pony said, “Please, I have a wife and kids who are also standing right there and not doing anything to help me getting freed from you.”

Oddly enough, his wife and kids were standing right there, one mare and two daughters. However, they were just giving him a poker face type look.

Then Mac said, “Fine then, I’ll let you go, but next time you better buy my fucking apples you prick!”

Then the random pony said, “Yes, I’ll do whatever you want. Just please, just don’t kill me.”

Then Mac said in a gritty voice, “So then, how is your day going so far?”

Then the random pony said, “It was going just fine and I was happy till you took me hostage and held a knife up to my throat!.”

Then Mac said, “That’s nice to hear. Have a good day sir and thanks for buying my fucking apples.”

Then Mac let him go, to which the random pony then ran away. While he was running away and his family mysteriously didn't follow him, he said, “Why did I have to come to Stalia today!? I am just a normal Ponyville citizen that’s just trying to buy some things from Stalia!”

Then Mac turned to Shadow and he said, “And that’s how you do it and sell some apples and be better then Applejack. Now it’s your turn to try.”

Then Shadow was about to take the knife from Mac’s hooves, until he said, “Get your own dam knife you little shit of mine.”

Then Shadow looked for a knife and found one on the ground that possibly had AIDS on it. Then he saw an old woman and walked up to her. Then as soon as Shadow walked up to the old lady, he said, “Um… buy my apples or I’ll cut you son of a bitch?”

Then the old lady turned around and she said to the little boy, “Oh, you have a knife I see. Stick that knife into my pussy. I want to feel the pain really hard, while I have bees stinging me up in my asshole at the same time.”

Then it appears to be that Shadow had come across the old lady that had a dark side to her. Well, Shadow then slowly backed up away, put the knife down, and had a depressing face on.

He even walked away from the apple stand because he knew he was not good at what he was trying to do. Along with that, Mac was giving him a look of shame and disappointment as he shook his head as Shadow was walking away as he said to him, "For shame Shadow... for shame..."

Well, Shadow walked around town, while Neon followed him with a guitar and singed him a song. I’ll admit, that the song and music itself was good, but the lyrics didn’t make much sense. Neon singed to the little boy…

I have been masturbating with a silver spoon,
A silver spoon,
Yes I have,
Yes I have.
I have been masturbating with a silver spoon,
Yes I will,
Yes I will.
Fa la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la,
La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la ,
I have been masturbating since I was a little colt,
And I masturbated every day of my life since then.
Yes I did,
Yes I did.
I even was taught to masturbate
From a guy in a very dark alleyway.
Yes I do,
Yes I do.
Fa la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la ,
La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la,
I have been masturbating with a silver spoon
A silver spoon,
Yes I have,
Yes I have.
I have been masturbating with a silver spoon,
Yes I will,
Yes I will.
Fa la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la,
La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la,
When I get on my pony knees,
And pray to Celestia,
That the dark days will not ruin my life,
While I’m trying to masturbate to her.
Yes I did,
Yes I did.
I even wait for moments in my bedroom,
To wait for the dark clouds to go away,
So the dark skies will no longer haunt me ,
While I’m in my dark room praying to Celestia,
While masturbating at the same time,
Yes I do,
Yes I do.
Fa la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la,
La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la,
I have been Masturbating with a silver spoon,
A silver spoon,
Yes I have,
Yes I have.
I have been masturbating with a silver spoon,
Yes I will,
Yes I will.
Fa la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la ,
La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la,
When those dark days come(Cum)
I look upon my silver spoon,
I see how depressed I am,
Yes I Did,
Yes I did.
And I go get a rope to hang myself with.
I then get to pony heaven,
To which I can masturbate in paradise and in happiness,
Yes I do,
Yes I do.
Fa la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la,
La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la.

Well then, what the fuck did I just hear, or read for you guys. I’ll do admit, that the song was pretty good for the most part.
Neon is also pretty good when it comes to the songs as well if you think about it for a moment. However, what you have to wonder is, where the fuck did Neon learn to play a guitar?

And for that matter, where did he get one, because I kind of want one now that I think about it. Also, I don’t know why shadow didn’t noticed that Neon was following him around and singing a song about that wasn’t really relevant to him at the moment. Listen, I’m sure in all point of our lives, we all masturbated with a silver spoon one time or another.

Now, it is ok, you can all admit it, we’re all friends here. And if you admit it, now I know who the fuck is a weirdo and I can say, what a bunch of fucking dumbasses and have my laugh of the joke that I just made.

Anyways, it took awhile, but Shadow finally noticed Neon behind him after Neon put his guitar away. Shadow said to Neon, “Were you just following me and singed a song about masturbating?”

Then Neon said, “Maybe I did, or maybe that talking magical fish over there by the river where a boy your age got murdered at by me could have done it.”

Then Shadow just stared at Neon for a bit, while Neon was a bit cross eyed and had very small pupils in his eyes while having a creepy smile on his face. Then Neon said, “What’s the problem kid?”

Then Shadow said, “Well, I don’t have a cutie mark on my flank and everypony else has theirs at school. They even make fun of me of it for not having one.”

Then Neon said, “Well, from your problem, you have one of two choices. You can either A: Go to school and murder everyone there with a penguin plushie toy and fuck an elephant with a hot rod in its eye sockets. Or, you can B: Go to the party store with me for no pointless reason at all and sing a random song that won’t do didly dick for you in any way possible, and possible drug you with a cupcake and harvest your organs and make cupcakes out of them. So, what’s your choice then Jr.?”

Then Shadow just curled up, as if he was afraid of Neon now and afraid to make a choice. Also, may I add, the way he curled up, he kind of looked cute the way he did it.

Anyways, Neon just continued to creepily stare at him, until Shadow said, “Go to the party store?”

Then Neon said aloud, “Now that’s the spirit!”

Then Neon took Shadow’s hooves and dragged him along to the party store. The Mr. Sweet wasn't there to take care of the register at the moment, so Neon was in charge of the place, and thank god that no one was killed or the place burned down, causing the great fire of Stalia.

Well, Neon and Shadow was in the kitchen, to which shadow asked, “So, what are we going to do here?”

Then Neon said, “Well, as I said, we were going to sing songs that are completely pointless and won’t help you in any way possible, so let’s sing a song…about moon crabs.”

What is Neon’s problem with Moon Crabs all of a sudden? Seriously, can he stop doing shit like that, but then again, Moon Crabs are his only friends. Well, Neon then grabbed his guitar out and started to sing. The lyrics were…

Moon crabs,
They’re the best around.
Moon crabs,
They just want to be your friends.
Moon crabs,
Shut the fuck up and try it.
They walk on the moon,
In the vacuum of space.
The look upon the stars,
And dream of a good dream,
Where they kill you.
They feed off of whatever they can now,
They even feed on rocks.
They would even feed off of zombies.
If you even went on the moon,
And they saw you,
They would get the munchies,
And they would eat you.
Now don’t worry a bit now,
For they are the moon crabs.
There is no resist,
There is no hope for you if you even try to fight them.
They’re just be in your nightmares,
Every night you go to dreamland.
They even are indestructible.
The even have a secret weapon that they carry with them…
They carry AK-47s!!!!
So, next time you see them,
Do not resist,
Just let whatever happens happen now.
So just let everything goooooooooooooooooooooooooo…
So the moon crabs can munch off of you,
Because they’re moon crabs.

after Neon was finished, Neon looked down and saw Shadow curled up into a small ball in a corner somewhere because he was fucking scared out of his mind. In fact, he just was deathly afraid of Neon now.

Well, at least I have someone on my side, but then again, Neon is cool and shit. Well, anyways, Then Neon continued to have a creepy smile on his face with the smallest pupils, and he asked Shadow, “So, you liked it!?”

Then Shadow said, “I’m afraid. Are the Moon Crabs going to kill me in my sleep tonight?”

Then Neon said to the little kid, “Nope, not unless you bang a moon crab’s wife. Then you would be killed by a giant corn on the cob!”

Shadow still gave no response, and still had fears in his eyes. Then Shadow said, “Can I please go home now. I’m afraid that the moon crabs will get me now.”

Then Neon said, “Well then…you want to hear another song that doesn’t involve moon crabs?”

Then Shadow said, “Yea…that sounds great! What’s the next song Neon?”

Then Neon said to the poor kid, “Oh…this is a song that I like to sing whenever I get blue on days like these. It will help cheer you up!”

Yea…it is a bit weird how Neon get’s cheered up by this, by I can see why because his instrumental skills are really impressive. Well, the lyrics were this...

All you need to do is kidnap a pony,
And kick him in the nuts!
Now take a little sharp knife, not dull,
A bit of acid,
Just a drop!
The next step is such a bitch,
But it still puts a smile on your face!
Creeply walk up to the pony,
And you will never will regret it!
Killing! So Neat and Hasty!
Killing!
Killing! Don’t be so Pasty!
Killing!
Killing, killing, killing,
KILLING!!!

Well then, those were the lyrics. Now, during the song, Neon literally randomly teleported a random pony into the room, and tied him up while playing his guitar.

Then, he took the knife, slit his throat, and start slowly killing him while saying the words killing over and over again.

Well, if this makes him happy and he stays the fuck away from me, I’m cool with this. And one more thing to note, Neon is just really good at making these songs for some reason, but they’re so fucked up in a way that I cannot even explain, but whatever.

It doesn’t matter that much because Neon does what Neon wants to do. Anyways, after Neon finished playing his last musical number for the day, Shadow went back into the corner where he was once before and curled up into a ball, for he was afraid once more.

When Neon was finished, he looked at Shadow like the last time he finished his last song, but this time, he had blood on his face.

Shadow said to Neon, right in his face. I even have to honor this kid for having such guts to say this in front of Neon and get away with it.

He said, “I’m scared now.”

Everyone, please honor this brave pony for he has earned it. I mean, you just don’t say that to Neon.

I mean, if you ever did say that directly into Neon’s face, you just released hell upon your poor cursed soul. You might as well finish up your bucket list, because it ain’t no unicorns and rainbows from there. Oh no my friend, its hell, and you do not want to go where Neon puts you in, because it is worse than a fate in hell.

Oh yes, it is Neon hell. It is a place where it is his rules and you have to play the game that never ends with him.

So, yea, that shit goes around here. Anyways, instead of Neon sending the kid into Neon hell, Neon simply just said, “You want to hear another song then Shadow?”

By the way, I bet that song was Neon hell. I’m pretty sure it would have made it into a number one spot if it was song if it was recorded on Earth. I mean, I heard it, and I’ll admit, it would reach to number one on the music charts.

Anyway, that happened, and instead of Shadow saying, ‘yes’, he just ran away.

However, while he was running away, Neon yelled back at him, “I’ll see you later in hell Shadow! Yes…I will see you in hell. No one says I’m scared to me. ha ha…ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!”

Then a timer went ding and Neon noticed it. When Neon noticed it, he stopped his laughing and he said, “Oh boy, the cupcakes are done. I wonder how it is going to taste without the organs I usually put in them. Although, even if they taste bad without the organs, it was still a fun time baking them while singing that song Pinkie Pie taught me.”

Then Neon walked away from the door and went to get and enjoy his actually, normal cupcakes that are not fucked up or have any organs in them in any way possible.

Also, I wouldn’t know if Neon was really serious about seeing Shadow in Neon Hell, because he isn’t dead yet. Although, you have to admit, sometimes you do want that kid to die…deep somewhere down in your heart.

You really do want him to die a painful slow death. You just do somehow, but at the same time, you don’t, because he’s just a kid and he’s somehow cute just a bit in some sort of way possible.

Anyways, Shadow then ran the fuck away from the Party Store and decided to check up on good ol’ Classy Jack and talk to him for some odd reason.

Well, Shadow found his place of work/home, and he knocked on the door. After he knocked, Jack answered it and Shadow asked if he could come in. Well, Jack said yes and he was let in.

Jack was working some shit of his that I’m sure is wacky and will lead to another what the fuck adventure, while Shadow found a nice spot to sit and talk with him. Shadow said, “Jack, can I ask you a question?”

Then Jack said, “Yea, sure I guess… but why ask me? Don’t you have Mac, your big brother, to tell you the birds and the bees?”

Then Shadow said to Jack, “Well, yes… but he wasn’t much help. Although he did tell me about the birds and the bees one night when he was really drunk. I’m not even sure if he was right or not.”

Then Jack asked, “Well what did he say about the birds and the bees?”

Then Shadow responded with, “Well, he said that the bees are usually making honey. They are busy and don’t want anything messing with their shiz… and that’s how Mac told me to say it. Well, a bird that was trying to steal their honey they worked so hard for many years attacked the bees then one day.

The next thing that you know, that the bees got angry, and killed the birds with a turd bomb and made them eat Applejack’s apples to which they died. Then the bees heard babies chirping noises coming from above their hive nest.

They then go to check it out and it was hungry baby birds. They then felt bad about it, because the birds were just trying to feed their younglings, so they decide to feed them some of their honey.

However, some of the bees disagreed with the other bees about the subject, and then there were debates about it. There were many political debates and government bee shutdowns and corruption as well.

Then it lead to a five hundred year war, which there were no bee survivors, and the baby birds died of Big Mac disease, while Applebloom feasted on their souls and tortured them in apple hell. They died that way instead of starving to death.
Then my big brother just finished the entire seventh 64 oz. bottle of Vodka, threw it against the wall which almost hit my head, laid against me and cried through the night. He kept crying about how the apples don’t love him and he threaten the apples.

Then he said the apples were trying to sue him in apple court, but he shot the apple and felt bad about it. I asked him the next morning, but he called me a pussy and started to abuse me in the most wrong ways possible that are not sexually related.”

Then Jack said, “Son, let me tell you a few things. First off, I lost you at the part where the Bees had a five hundred year war. Second, once you said that Mac told you that the birds were trying to get honey, because that is just bullshit right there. I mean, your big brother was lying to you after he said that. Third, it was the Vodka that he drunk that made him do that. Lastly, I don’t care if he abused you or not. I really don’t care if he did. I mean, me and the other guys could not care less about you being abused. We’re cool being your friends and all, but we don’t care if you die or not. We just do not care.”

Then Shadow said, “Well…um…ok then, but Mac gave me a music sheet which is a song that the bees sung during the five hundred year war. The song was called, ‘I hate Applejack’s guts so much, I’m going to blow up her house because I am better than her.”

Then Jack just stared at Shadow for a bit, until he said, “Yea… he’s lying to you. Anyways, what is the question you wanted to ask me that you came to me in the first place?”

Then Shadow said, “Oh… um… I was just wanted to know…how do you get a cutie mark?”

Then Jack sighed and he said, “Listen…kid…getting a cutie mark is whenever you get one…ok? I mean, how I got my cutie mark was long and hard… hehe, long and hard. Besides, you really should not come and seek me for advice on how to do shit. I mean, I don’t even teach my little brother on how to do this kind of shit. In fact I try my best to be an asshole t him.”

Then Shadow started to have wide eyes and had a very surprised look on his face, he then said, “You have a brother?”

Then Jack sighed once more and closed his eyes, as if he just had a migraine, which I get sometimes from Neon surprisingly, but it then goes away because somehow Neon knows about it and replaces it with porn in my mind.

I don’t want to talk about it…ok. Anyways, Jack then said, “Look, kid, just listen up here for a moment. I am only going to say this once and once only…so listen well. I do have a little brother. My parents named him Cobalt Bow, but since they left him here with me, I call him White Curse, because he is a curse and a bitch. In fact, that is what everypony calls him almost every time they see him around, so call him by that. That and one thing I should mention is that I pretend that he doesn’t exist at all and that he’s just a kid that hangs around my shop and all.”

Then White came out of a room, looking a bit curious. He asked Jack, “You called my name brother Jack?”

Then Jack said, “Who are you and what you doing in my shop you little shit? Don’t you have parents!? Huh!? You better not steal anything from here kid, I’ll stab you fifty times in the chest, you got that punk kid!? I swear you’re the little bastard that has been stealing money from the tip jar that doesn’t exist because I just made it up.”

Then White just continued to have a… I don’t know… an ok type of face, since he’s been putting up with this for many years of his life so far. What white looked like was… Well, he had a bit of a between of a white and a grey coat. His mane and tail however…I can’t really explain, because it’s sort of hard to describe, but if I had to, it’s like a normal colt type of mane?

Well, he turned around and started to go back to his room and look at a porno magazine, because he was curious. I am sure that’s what little kids do, because they are still curious about the birds and the bees and no one can tell an accurate story about the birds and the bees.

I mean, that kid has a long ways to go before he knows what a stiff dick is and a pussy is at all. Then again, I learned sex when I was just eleven years old of age, and I turned out just fine.

I mean, I smoke weed, get drunk, say a lot of course words, but only because I’m around Wolf almost all of the time. I also make racists’ jokes; kill people and ponies, and a lot of crazy shit that a normal person or pony would not even do.

So, lesson is, just do what I do and you’ll turn out fine. Anyways, aside from that poorly crafted joke, White noticed Shadow and he had a bit of a surprised look on his face. He said, “Hey, what is your name?”

Then Shadow was a bit nervous, but he then calmed down and he said, “Well… my name is Shadow.”

Then White said to Shadow, “I’m White as you can tell by my brother Jack.”

Jack then cut into the conversation and he said, “Shadow… who the fuck are you talking to? I mean, are you ok? You need to see a therapist. Are you going insane and seeing either dead ponies or a pony that doesn’t exist?”

Shadow and White just decided to ignore what Jack said, and continue with their conversation about their shit. Well, White said, “Don’t mind my brother. He always does that to me. I mean, it may seem harsh at first, but after awhile, you’ll get used to it. Anyways…you want be friends?”

Then Shadow said, “Sure! I never really had a friend before. Although, why haven’t I seen you around school before?”

White then replied to Shadow, “Well, my parents believe that I should be home schooled instead of going to a public one. My Mom and Dad are afraid I will turn into just like my brother Jack, so they home school me. However, since they dropped me off here, they want Jack to home school me.”

Then Shadow asked, “Does he home school you?”

Then White said, “Well… not exactly. He just puts me in my room, gives me a bunch of random books that I am not even sure if they’re educational at all, and drop them on the ground for me. He just says to me ‘figure it out.’ I mean, he doesn’t even test me on them, nor does he even care about what I learn or what I think.”

It took Shadow a bit to sink all of that into his little colt skull, until he got an idea. Once he got that idea, he had a bit of a smile on his face, and he thought of a good idea… well… at least a good idea to him in his opinion.

To me it just says that he’s a fucking retard… somehow. I’m not sure how, but I’ll eventually find something about that’s horrible about Shadow’s idea. Well, Shadow then asked White, “Hey, why don’t you go to school with me instead of being here? As long as you don’t tell your parents, you and I could hang out together.”

White didn’t have to think for a second about that, and he immediately jumped to the conclusion of, “That sounds like a great idea! I mean, it sure beats looking at books that teaches me how to get rid of a dead body and trying to figure out what a clitoris is while looking at porno magazines.”

Then Shadow asked White, “So… you want to hang out and try to figure out how to get our cutie marks since we don’t have them yet?”

Then White said, “Sure. Although Jack did say that if I ever left the house, he would lock me out because he pretends that I’m a stranger to him and not family to him.”

Shadow thought for a bit, to which he said, “Don’t worry, We’ll figure something out. Maybe you can stay at my house in the mean time. I’m sure my big brother Mac would be fine with it. I can just imagine what he would say to it.”

Shadow was thinking of it indeed. What he was thinking of Mac yelling at the both of them and saying, “I’m going to fucking stick a pool table stick up your ass and light both of you on fire if you ever try to do that you little shits. Now go away as I plot my next terrorist like plot against Applejack and try to sell Dad on the black pony market.”

After Shadow had thought that, he said, “Yeah that would be great to hear from him…I think.”

Well it’s obvious here, that Shadow does not know what is right from wrong. However, I guess I can forgive that, since it’s all Mac’s fault and for once, it’s wasn’t Neon’s fault. Anyways, White then brought up the question, “So…where should we start in trying to figure out how to get our cutie marks?”

Then Shadow said, “Well…I didn’t really think of that. I think maybe Applejack could help us out…but Mac is going to hate us for going to talk to her.”

Then Shadow paused for a moment, until he said, “I’ve got it! We can go talk to my friend Knight. Maybe he knows how to get one.”

Then those two little shits went to my house. I was just reading the Equestria Daily News, until I heard a knock on my door.

When I heard it, I said aloud, “Go away! I’m not interested in joining a stupid religion! If you’re Jovial Witnesses, then you have five seconds before I rip your lungs out and shove it in your eye sockets!”

Then I just happened to looked up, and see a floating ghost like figure of a member.

He said, “But Knight, I’m already in here.”

Then I said, “Dam it! How do you keep getting into my fucking house!?”

Then the ghost said, “I go through the top of the house Knight.”

I then said to myself, “Well then, I just have to get that roof fixed then. Maybe I should make a bet with Wolf, win the bet, and make him do it. I don’t feel like fixing it. Wait a second, why I haven’t I called Ghostbusters yet from their universe?”

Then Bill Murray came the fuck out of nowhere and he said, “Don’t worry, I’m here. I was just a little late and got caught up in traffic.”

Then Bill used his proton pack and captured the ghost. He then picked up the ghost trap and started to walk away. As he was walking away, he said, “Have a nice day Technicolor talking pony.”

Next, for whatever reason, Shadow finally responded to my comment with, “What are you talking about it. It’s me, Shadow?”

I don’t know why he said it if it was a question. Maybe he is unsure of his existence. Maybe…he doesn’t exist at all. What a twist! That was a shitty M. Night joke but it gets better, I promise.

Anyways, I then got up while being annoyed, and went to open the door to talk to them. When I did, I faced the two colts, and I said to those little shits, “What do you want Shadow? Aren’t you supposed to be like being abused by Mac and have broken glass all up in your face? That and who is this little fuck that you have for a friend that I clearly have no interest in at all?”

Shadow then replied with, “Well, this is my new friend White Curse. He’s Jack’s little brother.”

I then said, “That explains the name for the kid then. Although, why didn’t Jack mention a little brother to me?”

White then said, “My big brother tries to pretend I don’t exist and pretends that I’m not there or a little kid in his shop planning on stealing something.”

I then said to the little shit, “That’s not surprising to me. I would do the same thing if I had you as a little brother.”

Then White said, “Why doesn’t anypony like me? I mean, my mom almost had an abortion while she was pregnant for me.”

I then commented, “Perhaps if you weren’t a little shit all the time, maybe you would have at least be known for being forever alone. Although for Shadow, even though I don’t care about him, I still feel for him though.”

Then Shadow said, “Thanks Knight.”

I then said back to him, “Sure, whatever you say donkey ass raping whore metal can monster of a hoe that has a telephone up its ass. Maybe I had too much weed.”

I then retreated into my house to understand what the fuck was going on, while the two little colts just stood there, dazed and confused. However, they didn’t leave yet.

At the time, I was wondering, ‘What the fuck do they want!? Do they want me to buy fucking cookies or something!?

Maybe if they are selling the coconut ones, I’ll buy it, because that shit is good. That and Wolf needs a hole in his life while Princess Molestia is away and not dicking around with him…along with some butter to make it a bit easier for him.’

Well, when I retreated, I said to myself, “How much pot did I have last night while playing with Wolf? Dam it; I had better not have another hangover again. Hey Tiger, do you know how much pot I had last night?”

Then the tiger…that strangely enough I named Tiger. I’m not very creative when it comes to names all the time. Anyways, the tiger from that time when I had that hangover adventure when it appeared in my house without remembering getting a tiger just yawned at me and went to sleep.

I then said to Tiger, “You’re a great fucking help… you pussy ass bitch. Wake the fuck up! Tell me how much pot I had last night you piece of fucking shit! Do it or I’ll cut your fucking tiger balls off and do your dead tiger mom with it! Man…I’m just really high right now…aren’t I? I mean, he isn’t giving a shit, I’m high, and…the two little colts are in my house right now, heard what I just said.”

Then Shadow said, “Well, it isn’t all that bad. I mean, my big brother Mac usually says that I’m a piece of shit that won’t fuck a dog on a piece of candy on the moon with stars up my dick. He also said that when he was drunk as well, so, it isn’t all that bad. It could’ve been worse.”

I then sighed and asked the two kids, “Listen, just tell me what you want so you can get the fuck off of my property.”

Then White cut into the conversation and he said, “Even though I haven’t met you and all, but since my brother Jack talks about you sometimes at random, but doesn’t Princess Celestia owns this property since she is the one who paid for it in the first place so you could live in it?”

I then responded back with, “Kid, do you want your mouth shoved up an old lady’s anus that has none stop shit coming out twenty four/seven, while having AIDS up a python’s eye socket…or do you want me to answer a question that you have for me?”

Then Shadow said, “Well…we were wondering if you could tell us how to get a cutie mark and all Knight, so we could possibly try to get one of our very own one day.”

I then said to both of them, “You two kids are officially retards of this town, and you should be ashamed of yourselves. Kids, do you see a picture on my ass?”

Then White hesitated a bit and said, “Uhhhhh…….”

I then said once more, “I said, do you see a picture upon my mother fucking asshole, you two retard kids that can go fuck yourself with a skunk and down it with beer!? Do you fucking see a fucking picture on my fucking ass!!!”

Then White hesitated once more, to which I then stuck my ass all up in his face, while saying to him, “Look at my fucking ass and tell me what you see!”

Then Shadow finally spoke up and he said to me, “Well…is it your ass or that ass standing right behind you.”

I then said, “What the fu…”

I then turned around to see what Shadow was talking about, to which it was a donkey behind me that somehow broke into my house without me noticing him.

He said to me, “Hello neighbor. I just moved in next door to you. I just recently moved from Ponyville with my wife and two innocent kids who love me very much and would not want a single bad thing happen to me at all. I moved here to Stalia because a good friend of mine named Twilight and Pinkie Pie told me very good things about this town, along with you being a very good friend and a neighbor to have indeed. I can see your very truthful friend of Twilight and Pinkie Pie were certainly telling the truth about their words. You are a very nice pony. I can see that you and I will get along together just fine, for I am an innocent, harmless, friendly donkey that just wants to be friends with you so badly and do not see any danger of being your friend. Well, I can see that you have a very nice home. Where did you get half of this…”

I then cut him off and said on the top of my lungs, “That’s it! I had enough with this random bullshit happening to me right now!”

I then took the donkey, tackled him into the kitchen and slammed him into my kitchen counter top, to which I then used a number of objects beat him to a bloody pulp with it.

I used objects such as toaster, a microwave, pots and pans, a blender, and a spatula. I then lastly took a waffle iron, which strangely enough that you can plug into it, weird, and turned it on.

I then forced his face into it, to which he was screaming in pain due to his face being burned off with the hot surface of the waffle iron. I then proceeded to slam the lid shut on his head repeatedly, until he was almost dead, and he was bleeding all over the place as well.

While I was doing such an innocent thing, he pretty much made that noise that a donkey makes, like hee haw or something like that. Is there even a word for such a noise?

Then again, I live in Equestria, so I would not know, because these ponies here are intelligent enough to not fucking question and make up a song what the fuck noise that foxes make.
Just saying is all, because it is intelligent in all seriousness. Anyways, after I almost killed the donkey, which strangely enough I threatened him if he ever told his family what I did to him, I’ll cut him. I was so high that day, I cannot explain it.

Also, he woke up, he said out loud, “Why did Twilight lie to me!? Why!? I just wanted to be friends with the guy! I’m never trusting that lying bitch again! She’s supposed to be good to her subjects, but never lie to them! I’m never trusting what an Alicorn says again!”

Anyways, as I was saying before, right after I did that, I then turned my attention back to the two little colts once more with no more distractions…get away giant talking banana…I’m not in the fucking mood…Anyways, as I was saying, I went up to the two little kids and said, “I’m sorry that you had to see that.”

Then Shadow said, “That’s ok, Mac does that whenever we have guests over and it’s not his friends.”

I then stared blankly at them, and started to wonder…why? I then said to both of them, “Well then, now I know why I hear screams in the middle of the night that comes from Mac’s place. Anyways, as you can tell, there is no picture on my ass, so now you have your answer, get the fuck away from me you little shits.”

Then Shadow looked a bit depressed for a bit, till he said, “Well…I guess so…but the only person who I can talk to is Applejack.”

I then said to them, “Why do I have a feeling that you are going to beg me to distract Mac so you two can run off and go talk to her, so Mac doesn’t think you’re a traitor and try to kill you because you talked to her?”

They then stared at me with two puppy dog eyes, that says, ‘Please…I’ll suck your dick if you do it.’

I then said, “Fine then, but you fucking owe me. I can’t believe that I have to talk to Mac who is insane instead of my smoking my poorly grown weed.”

I also said that as I was walking out of my house. Anyways, we then walked to Mac’s house, and eventually got there, to which I started to look for Mac. It took me a while, because it was just a sea of endless apple trees that Mac grew himself, which kind of smelt a bit nice that day.

I have to say, that if I see one more fucking apple tree, I’m going to staple my balls to my forehead, because I’m sick of looking at them. Well, eventually I found him, starting fight with an Apple tree.

Yes, he was drunk off his little pony ass, talking trash to a tree, to which he believed it was talking shit about him and his apples, along with saying that Applejack is better then him. I overheard him say, “You piece of fucking shit. You can go fuck yourself, you lonely piece of shit of a tree. You couldn’t even bang half the chicks that I do every day…which is none! You think you better than me. Well do you!? Well fuck you, you can shove Applejack’s apples right up your tree asshole, so suck it tree. What, you want to rumble? I’ll fucking rumble with you.

'Just don’t say I didn’t warn that I’m a mean mother fucking boxer. In my day, I was the national championship boxer, and took out a pony named Ali McDouchebag! He was the strongest pony there ever was, who had the fanciest mustache throughout the land, to which Celestia fucked him, to which I was greatly pissed off at, because I fucked her before he did, so he didn’t deserve any of the cookies. Alright tree, you better get ready for a pounding of your life, better prepare to run like a pussy mother fucker.”

Then Mac upchucked everything that he ate that morning including his beer he had just consumed. He just threw it up all over the tree; I thought I saw a dead rabbit in it. Well, after Mac finished puking, he was still standing to which he said to the tree, “Take that you bitch.”

I then walked up to him, with the children behind me; because I’m pretty sure they needed child services. Well, I walked up to him, and said to him, “Hey Mac, can I talk to you for a bit?”

Then Mac noticed me and he just had a blank expression on his face when he saw me. In fact, he even noticed the children, although he had a bit of an angry expression on his face.

For a minute, I thought he finally realized he hates kids, so he’s asking me to put down Shadow. I wouldn’t have done it, but an Old Yeller joke had to be made at the time, so I would have been willing enough to do such a thing.

Anyways, Mac then said to me, “Hey Knight, how’s it going? Why do you have Shadow and his gay friend with him? Did they do something bad? Dam it Shadow, when are you ever going to learn your lesson about not bothering my friends you piece of worthless shit! This time, you’re going to get your ass slapped till the cows come home and put you in the barn house till you learn your lesson and thought about what you did.”

I then said to Mac, “First off, you and me have to talk about you being a big brother to Shadow here before child services come and beat the shit out of you. Second, that’s not why I’m here. Although, they did annoy the shit out of me, but that’s not it though. I just wanted to…to…to..son of a bitch…um…to talk to you about attacking Applejack?”

Then Mac had a surprised happy look on his face and knocked down the two kids that was behind me. He then got up all up in my face and said to me, “You’re finally agreeing with me!? You want to help take out Applejack and her family, including relatives!?”

I then said to him, “Yeah…sure…whatever distraction works with you, I’m totally fine with that happening.”

He then said to me, “Why, this is the greatest news I have heard in years! Oh this joyous day of news, I am so happy with glee upon my face! Quick, we must get the crusade together before we strike at her heart! Peasant, set the signal on fire!”

Then a random pony that was in drag and in rags was holding a torch that was next to a pile of sticks. He then said, “Aye aye sir!”

He then lit the pile of sticks on fire, to which it gave a signal to put the other sticks on fire that was miles away, to which it made some movie reference and it set a signal to a group according to Mac.

Mac then said, “Now the crusade has been notified of our coming! Quick Knight, we shall have to travel to the great beyond the mountain that we see with our very eyes to get to the crusade. On ward Knight, for step one of our plans to defeat Applejack is almost complete!”

He then ran along with dragging me along as well. As he was dragging me along with him to hell… I mean to the great beyond, I said to myself, “What the fuck have I gotten myself into!”

I then left and then did a weird montage of scaling mountains as high as the birds could fly.

In fact, we got up to high attitudes, that it was cold as fuck. I mean, my ass was freezing. Well, long story short, since I don’t want to go off on some other random bullshit that requires Morgan Freeman to narrate, because…

MORGAN FREEMAN’S NARRATION…

I’ve fucking got it from here Knight. Keep your fucking pony shit together…aright?

Anyways, as Knight said, we’re going to keep it short, but I’m sure by the time you reading this, you’re already complaining that you don’t have enough information of to which you can go off of and what was it really like for Knight.

In fact, you possibly hate Knight’s life right now and thinking that it was barely described. Well, here’s what I said to that, fuck you and go eat a dick you piece of Black Racists.

Now, since we got all the white people out of this, let us get to this part of the story, and even though this book is going to a random person…hopefully…me, Morgan Freeman, can still tell if they hate it or not, so go fuck yourself.

Besides, I’m Morgan Freeman, I can do whatever I please bitch, even if it does mean breaking the fourth wall.

Anyways, Knight and Mac traveled very far and great distances. They pushed through the snow and ice storms they encountered, but eventually got to their destination. Their destination was a little wooden shack, built on the top of a mountain, which was lit with a very light and poorly made fire.

As soon as Mac and Knight got to the shack, Knight knocked down the door, for he was cold as fuck.

When he got in, he fell to the floor, because he was cold as fuck and needed some warmth. Well, after he got back up so he could continue to what the fuck he was doing, he noticed a bunch of man that looked like they belonged from Skyrim and Lord of the Rings.

They all stood there, telling of stories of days past, along with singing some folk songs and eating soup of some kind that is possibly some weird ass soup.

Remember; see what the black guy did there?

Well, as soon as Knight saw who was in the shack, Mac came in and shut the door. Mac then said to everyone as a quick speech, “Listen up you all lazy assholes! I come with great news from the mainland that is known as society, where all ponies actually are not weird and socialize, which you all should do sometime. Anyways, that is not why I am here, but I bring of good news, that we have another member who wants to fight back. And…since he is a student of Princess Celestia we have strong support on our side now! Now, we have enough strength to take down Applejack. Now, we shall go forth into Ponyville tonight, and we shall strike where it matters to her the most!”

Then one the members spoke up, and no, it was not to leave the group. Instead, it was, “Wait a single second here. You promised us that if we helped you kill Applejack, you would help us kill the dragon and get us our home back before we help you?”

Then Mac stood there for a moment and he said, “Right, about that…fuck you, we’re going with my plan.”

Then another member of the crusade then said, “Well then, it looks like you’re fucked, because you’re not getting help from us then.”

Then as all the members were about to leave, he then said, “Fine then! Me and Knight shall help you get your home back, and then help us out.”

Then another member said, “Good, we better get going then if we want to make it to our home in time before Luna’s moon settle’s in for the night.”

They then left the small wooden shack and to make a long adventure story short, they ended up making a Hobbit parody, from An Unexpected Journey.

Well, eventually that parody finished up and they eventually got to the home of the dreaded dragon. As soon as they entered the huge ass double doors, which I never saw a point to having them in the first place at all, they entered the main throne room where the dragon was having his afternoon nap in.

He was sleeping upon the mountains of gold and bits that were scatted around the room. The crusade then soon tip-hoofed through the throne room, not trying to make a sound to wake up the dragon.

They then went into stealth mode like in Splinter Cell: Blacklist, and was ready to kill the dragon in his sleep.

They were all in the ready position to kill, until one of the members soon fucked everything up and ran towards the dragon. While he was running, he said, “Leroy Jenkins!”

Then he stumbled onto the floor, to which he woke up the dragon and the dragon woke up from his deep slumber. When the dragon woke up, he was pissed off to a boil and looked upon the pony, as if he was his next meal instead of a shitty CGI bird.

He looked at the poor white guy pony, to which he as well looking upon the dragon’s eyes. He looked upon them with pure happiness and hope. He then said to the dragon, “Mr. Dragon, I hope you’re a chick, because I have such a pony boner right now and I want to fuck your brains out right now.”

To which the dragon’s reply was burn him to death, for which the dragon did so. The dragon breathed fire upon the pony’s skin and killed him.

Then the dragon made a loud roar that could be heard throughout the room and looked at the remaining crusaders. He then went after them, to which the leader of the crusade, which was Mac said, “Retreat!”

The crusade then ran out of the place and the dragon was eventually killed outside, in a non-interesting battle to the death. However, unfortunately, only Mac and Knight were the only survivors.

How the dragon died you might ask…well, he died of ghost AIDS, because as the dragon was about to fuck up Knight and Mac, the ghost of the pony that ruined everything came back as a pony ghost and raped the dragon in ghost form.
I’m not sure either how that is even possible, but apparently the dragon got Ghost AIDS and died. Well, as soon as the dragon died, Knight said, “What the fuck just happened right now?”

To which Mac replied with, “Well, we just killed a dragon and our plans to kill Applejack is now ruined. Oh well, let’s go home.”

Soon, Knight and Mac made the journey back home, which again was like the parody of The Hobbit, such as There and Back Again. Well, eventually that made the long journey back home to the non-peaceful town of Stalia.

Knight went back home to end his day of pure bullshit, and Mac went back home. When he went back home, his father was still on the couch, not showing any signs of life, but was somehow still alive for some strange reason.

He was also greeted to the sight of Shadow, White, and a filly, all laughing together and talking about some shit. Then Mac said, “What the fuck happened here? Who is this chick Pegasus?”

Then Mac gasped and he asked Shadow, “Wait…Shadow, did you rape her or something? If so, I am so proud to be your big brother and promise to slightly care about you more from now on, because you made me proud.”

Then Shadowed said, “Well, no…this is what happened Mac…”

Now, let Knight handle the rest for you, while I go and dream of black guy stuff…

BACK TO KNIGHT

Thanks…thanks Morgan Freeman…You’re a real asshole you know that right? Well, I suppose you all must be wondering what the fuck happened with Shadow’s side of the story now.

Well, after I was taken by Mac to do some shit with him, Shadow and White just stood there for a few seconds. Then Shadow said, “Well…,I guess this is our chance to go to talk to Applejack then since this is our chance.”

They then both traveled to Ponyville, and strangely enough in record time as well. Well, they eventually hit Applejack’s farm, to which Applejack was bucking some apples.

She was minding her own business, when she noticed a noise was made behind a tree. When she noticed it, she had somewhat a pissed off look in her eyes.

She was looking at her apple trees that were visible to her and even squinted her eyes a bit, as if she was an Asian pony or something.

What is wrong with her and trying to think she’s Asian? She’s a redneck who doesn’t give a shit about foreigners and their fancy vehicles and believes anyone would own a gun. Granted, this is a My Little Pony universe, so that doesn’t matter here.
Well…for this universe that is, because we all know that there exists a universe where the Mane six do drugs, kill each other…kind of like my life story right now.

Well what do you know, there is an entire universe that is about me, that’s awesome. Also, I know I’m surprised as well that I just used another fancy word you fancy, ignorant, picky son of a bitching pricks.

I mean, as a pony, a pony like me would never have fucking used the word granted, but for some reason, you are all shocked now, possibly believing the world is ending and pissing your pants right now.

Perhaps even shitting your pants if I’m lucky, but then again you’re a bunch of idiots. Even though I haven’t met you and this is for a story for the future that I somehow seem to constantly remind you all, or you would think you’re dreaming, and of course that’s what you wish what it was, but sadly, this isn’t Inception, although I wish it was.

Then shit would be cool every day, like walking on walls and shit. Yeah…that is fucking awesome, but back my life’s story that you all really do not care about, because you have no fucks to give.

Anyways, besides that random bullshit right there that just happened, Applejack was pissed off and worried that it was Mac. The sounds that were made behind the apple trees were made again, and Applejack took a step closer.

She then said aloud to that tree, which that apple tree deserved a good yelling for doing absolutely nothing, but all trees eventually need to be punished occasionally. Anyways, Applejack yelled, “Mac, is that you!? You better get your plot off of my darn property before I get my brother Big Mac on you! I swear to you Mac that Big Mac will not go easy on you this time! I’ll give you five seconds to come on out here and explain to me why you’re on my property!”

Then Shadow and White slowly came out behind the tree. Ok, first off, here is a question that I even don’t know.

I mean, sure, I’m over fifty-thousand years old, but that doesn’t mean I can’t do everything. I mean do you think Celestia could just magically solve things, such as major problems in the land of Equestria when it happens.

Do you obviously think that she could ever use her magic, since she is like a goddess and all, and use her magic to solve a hunger problem.

To say there wasn’t no food left in Equestira, you think that Celestia good just magically make food appear and that would be that? You think she could stop a war and shit? Fuck no, she can’t!

Not because she is a girl, or though, I wouldn’t mind making a sexist joke sometime. In fact, note to self, when right moment is right, make a sexist joke.

Anyways, it’s not because of that, but even god like beings or powerful beings or some shit like that that has some shit to do with me has their limits to their abilities.

Anyways, the question is why the fuck Shadow and White didn’t just come out of the tree the first time, instead of forcing Applejack to threaten them by mistake. Man, I would make a good Cinema Sin guy for YouTube.

Anyways, other then why asking Shadow and White didn’t do that in the first place, they came out to confront Applejack.

Man, I’m using so many different words now that you all must be thinking that the world is ending already.

Of course by now, I’m being sarcastic, because there’s a million things that humans can’t catch onto and do jackshit for it. Anyways, that shit happened, while Shadow and White had a bit of frowns on their faces…strangely enough. I wouldn’t know why they would have it in the first place.

I mean. They didn’t do anything wrong, unless it’s their fault they caused 9/11 to happen? Then again, they look old enough to be suicide bombers. I mean, when newborn babies are born in the Middle East, the first ten seconds of their life, they are given a name, and are put in a terrorist training camp.

Of course, why didn’t I see it before!? Those tricky Muslim bastards. They are using babies to blow up other American places, because it is a clever disguise.

Moreover, it appears that they send in little colts to do their dirty work. I have to keep a close eye on Shadow and White now. I don’t know about them anymore. They seem suspicious now.

Then again, I’m pretty sure ninety-nine point ninety-nine of you are all saying that I am an idiot. Well then, would an idiot say sock it to me!? I see not! Anyways, when Applejack saw the two little colts appear, she put a little smile on her face and was relived a bit.

She said to herself, “Well thank Celestia it isn’t Mac. You had me going there for a second that it was your big brother Mac.”

Then Shadow said, “Sorry Cousin Applejack, we were just a bit afraid of coming here. Especially if Mac ever knew about me coming here, he would do bad things to me, but yet he says it because he’s teaching me a lesson not to like you.”

Applejack had a bit of an annoyed face on while she remembered those annoying times with Mac. However, Applejack shrugged it off and she said, “Well, don’t worry, even if he does find out, you’re always welcomed to stay here. I mean it isn’t like you’re shunned from the Apple Family Shadow. In fact, every pony in the Apple Family likes you and they do wish they could see you as well. But since you live with Mac…well we can’t do much to help you because we’re all afraid that Mac is going to do something that’s going to start a war or something.”

Then Shadow looked up with a curious face upon his…face, and he said, “Everypony wants to see me?”

Then Applejack said, “Well, sure. You’re the only one, other than Mac and your pa, who is shied away from the Apple Family. You’re always welcomed to come over here as long as you will like if you want. I mean it isn’t like you act like them anyways. Anyhow, what brings you and your little friend over here to Apple-Acres and risking to get caught by Mac?”

Shadow then said, “Well, me and my friend White wanted to know how we can get our cutie marks?”

Once Applejack heard the words getting out cutie mark, she had an annoyed face once again, for she remembered those time that she had with her little sister and her friends trying to gain one as well. She then sighed to herself and she mumbled to herself, “Not again.”

She then said to Shadow with her full attention, “Shadow, getting a cutie mark isn’t the matter of you knowing what to do to get one, but it’s waiting for the right moment in which you find what you’re good at. Do you understand?”

Then, Shadow said, “Nope.”

Also, he said it like it was a joke or something, and I’ll admit, I chuckled a bit. Anyways, Applejack then gave it some thought, as she didn’t want to go through what she did with Applebloom.

She then said, “Well, there is a little cutie mark party going on at Sugar Cube Corner, maybe you can come along with me so I can go with Applebloom, so you can talk to the other fillies and colts on how they got their cutie marks. Then maybe you’ll understand on getting a cutie mark.”

Shadow stood there for a while, thinking about what Applejack had just said not long ago. Then, Shadow reached to a conclusion and he said, “Sure, that sounds fine than just fending off for myself and getting taught by my big brother.”

Then Applejack said, “Then it’s settled then. Hey, you can even meet your cousin Applebloom if you get a chance. I mean, she never met her cousin Shadow, in matter of fact, she doesn’t know that you’re her cousin at all. We’ll leave as soon as I finish bucking my apples. I have to get them harvested before they start to go bad. Maybe you and your friend could help.”

And so they did, while also singing a song, which yea I know the songs are starting to get a bit tiring here, but for once, we’re going to skip it. Why you may ask in your mind of pure shit?

Well, it’s because there just too many to list and to remember. It is also quite a shame, really, because this one was actually a normal one that you would see on the show. However, hey, that’s life.

Anyways, they soon left to go the party down at Sugar Cube Corner. However, back in Stalia, which was happening while the shit with Applejack and Shadow was at the same time.

Jack had just finished his work for the day, while I was somewhere on a mountain fighting off ogres and shit, while some wizard with a shitty ass stick was saying, “None shall not trot a very slow pace to pass me!”

In other words, a shitty version of a famous line. Anyways, Jack had just finished, and he got another knock in his door.
When he did, he said to himself, “It better not be that little Asian kid who hangs around my shop and is eyeing to still my shit.”

When Jack opened up the door, it revealed a child filly that went by the name of Misty Midnight. I have to admit, it sounds like a good name for a Pegasus filly.

And for once, my group of friends those who are not off the show will no longer appear to be sexist. It’s sad, yes, I mean even though we still had Mrs. Sweet, she’s a bitch because I barley know her, so whatever, you get the point.

Anyways, her coat color was a…how do I put it? It was a mix of winter, icy, night sky colors. It’s like for the winter, or something like that.

I wouldn’t know what exact color that would be, but that is the general description to give for her coat color. It also include for her mane and tail. Her mane, I wouldn’t know how to describe it.

It’s hard to tell because…I don’t know, but it felt like it was beautiful on her. Anyways, other than that and making me look like a pedophile there for a moment, her tail was also a long type of tail other than a tomboy-ish look to it.

For her eye color, it was a beautiful Midnight Blue type of color. She too did not have a cutie mark of her own. In fact, she acted a bit odd at first when she went up to Jack’s door.

She was wearing like a cloak or something or a bit of rags, I suppose. In fact, it turns out that she was an orphan, which was living at the orphanage. From what I could gather, she had a loving family at one point, but they soon disappeared without a trace, and Misty never got a chance to get to know them, as they left her, with a few siblings when she was just a newborn.
Anyways, when Jack opened the door, he said gasped and said, “Why…you’re not that kid that comes in here and pokes around! Who are you!? What are you doing here and where is that kid!? I kind of miss him right now.”

Then Misty said, “Excuse me sir, but…may I ask if there was a colt that came here that goes by the name of Shadow?”

Then Jack said, “Yea, he’s my friend’s little brother that we don’t give a crap about. He came here not too long ago with a kid that apparently goes by the name of White. I believe if I guessed correctly, they went to Ponyville and some shit happened to them. I really don’t know, but it’s just a very easy guess to make. Why are you looking for them anyways?”

Then misty said, “Well…I don’t know how to explain it. I rather want to make friends with them, in fact, I’ve wanted to do that for quite some time, but I was too nervous to do so. Anyways, I will be on my way now. Sorry if I bothered you.”

Then Jack said while squinting at her, “Oh, you did you little bitch. Thinking you can come up to me and bother me like a little whore.”

Jack then closed the door on her face, to which Misty then proceeded to go on her ways to Ponyville and try to find Shadow and White. You can already tell where this is going, can’t you?

Well, while that was happening, shit was going down at Sugar Cube Corner. A little party was thrown for a filly that got her cutie mark not too long ago.

Most of the kids were from Ponyville, and when I mean by that, Shadow and White were the only kids or ponies for that matter that wasn’t from Ponyville, but somehow they knew how to blend in with the crowd. You want to know they did it, they act normal and not crazy like how every pony else does in Stalia.

Well, they were together, asking other fillies and colts, mostly fillies since the population of Ponyville of Mares result in…I’m not sure how to put it. Let’s just say that if you pair a pony dick with a pony pussy in the town, you would have three-hundred pony pussies without a pony dick to keep it company and filled.

That was a horrible dirty joke, but does have some sort of potential to be a good dirty joke. Anyways, Shadow and White kept asking around, but roughly, the replies that they got on average was, “Well, I was doing, whatever the fuck they were doing, and all of a fucking sudden, they got their cutie mark on their little tiny asses.”

That’s just to roughly sum up most of the answers, and yes, they did use, all of a sudden in their answer. God, I really want to put a bullet in their head, by doing it manually by pushing it in myself into their head.

Other answers that they got were that they had problems or they painted a picture on their asses, or something more disturbing. I don’t know, use your imagination, because your guess is as good as mine.

Well, Shadow and White were stumped…and apparently retarded, because they weren’t realizing that they had to wait until the right time they would get their cutie mark.

Well, they ended up being in a corner, while Applejack went up to both of them. She said, “Well, do you understand what you have to do to get your cutie mark now Shadow?”

Then Shadow said, “No, the kids were saying the same things about getting one unexpected.”

Then Applejack then gave herself a facehoof, because she couldn’t believe how retarded that they were. I mean, they were not getting the message through their retarded skull.

After Applejack finished punching herself in the face…very lightly I might add, so it wasn’t a punch, but a facehoof, she said, “Well, I suppose you two don’t want to stick around for the cake then. I guess you two should start to head out back on home in Stalia before it gets dark. I don’t want you two getting stuck in the Everfree Forest, for who knows what may lurk in those scary woods.”

Then White said, “Well, I suppose we should.”

Then both of them was about to get up, until Applejack said, “Well, hold on just a minute. Before you two leave, I would like Shadow to meet his cousin Applebloom. I’ll go find her so both of you can say hi to one another.”

Then she walked away to go find her, which she was with her friends, still trying to find a way to get their cutie marks.
After she left, Diamond Terri spotted both of them, that they were blank flanks. Diamond said to her friend, “Look at those two blank flanks at a party like this. This party isn’t for them at all!”

Then her friend, who the name will not be mentioned, for she is a bitch, “Yea, what do they think they’re doing here for a party for only those who have cute marks. Although, we can push them around and call them names since they are blank flanks. Don’t you agree?”

Then Diamond said, “I like your thinking. We shouldn’t let them go to waste.”

Then those two little whores walked up to them. When they did, Shadow saw them. When he did, he said to white, “They look like bullies. I don’t know why, but those evil grins on their faces is giving it away to me. Maybe we should go and wait outside for Applejack.”

They then got up, but before they could move an inch, Diamond walked up to them and she said, “Well, what do we have here Silver Spoon?”

Then her friend said, and yes, , even if she said it, I won’t say it, “Well, it looks like we have a couple of blank flanks to me. It also looks like they’re new around here.”

Then Diamond said, “Well then, I suppose they are new in town. Where did you come from, Lamesville?”

Then Shadow said, “Well…we come from the town of Stalia, not too far from Ponyville. We live there, so, we’re not new here at all.”

Then Diamond said, “Oh, so you do live in Lamesville, where everything is lame and boring. It’s like a one mule town I suppose.”

That last sentence…I don’t know…but I think it means something. Anyways, then Shadow said, “Well, not really. I mean. We do have the Elements of Protection. I mean, they did go into the Everfree Forest where they escaped from a falling cliff, made trees walk, had a menticore and a rock mate to make a moon crab, went to the moon, persuaded a gay sea serpent to kill someone and still everything that he owns.

They also went on an adventure where one of them went to a world called Inception, had a quick adventure with giant robots. They even defeated Princess Celestia’s evil clone that she never told anypony else about except for her pupil and the town of Stalia. They also killed some ponies, a pony name TK went through the woods and found a forgotten town that had infected ponies in it that could kill any pony with a single bite. They also had a monster attack the town, a pony named Derpy Hooves stuffed muffins up her butt, a pony named Doctor Whooves that travels to different worlds came for a visit.

'Then a Griffin guy that was a bully like you two came but I believe Knight made him disappear, or killed him anyways, a party was thrown but no one can remember it. Then there a User Major was skilled with an explosion and the child of that Major ate it, a dragon almost took over the town but was soon killed, a pony named dark almost killed everypony.
Then there was a night where the mafia almost kill two ponies. Then my brother and his friends almost killed a zebra, and my brother and his friends had a hangover adventure. Then the town got attacked by Paraprites, which were killed what Neon calls Predators, which they also took over the town, but then they were killed, because Knight and Neon went to Planet Random.

So, no pony remembers it, but Neon did destroy the universe and re-made it. Then there was a war between the Everfree forest animals and the town on Winter Wrap up day, and a pony from the town saved Princess Twilight Sparkle and defeated a giant pony.”

Then Diamond said, “Like I said, a lame town that no one will even notice its existence.”

What a bitch, may I add? Well, then Shadowed said, “Really, because I thought that was interesting. Then again, I guess Ponyville just has different tastes then what we’re used to then.”

Then Diamond said once more, “Like I said, Lameville. You two will never be cool like us, and you will always will be a blank flank, no matter what you do.”

Then Misty Midnight busted through the door, to which she said, “Hey, you two leave them alone.”

Then Silver Spoon looked at her, and she said, “I see we have another blank flank, and an orphan as well. Let me guess where you live, in a cardboard box?”

Then Misty was actually weak, in fact, she was afraid of them just a tiny bit, but she needed to pretend that she could stand up to them in a way. Well, she shrugged off the feeling of fear, went up to them, and said, “The only reason why you two are bullying them is because you have cutie marks and not them. You need someone to make fun of that does not have what you have, so you feed off that, instead of just being happy that you have a cutie mark.

'A day will come when your kind will parish from this world, and when that happens, you will be sorry that you had said any of this in your past. You will beg for forgiveness, but you know it in your heart that the light will not forgive those who were blinded by the darkness that occupies their soul and were aware of it, and tried nothing to resist and you pursue its path to darkness.

'So then you will try to fight back, but you know it is very true that the light cannot be extinguish, for you have walked between worlds of heaven and earth, and you only know that the only path is the road of forgotten dreams and of memories past.

'You will ride the path of loneliness, not knowing what you have done, but only because you needed someone to feed off, so you can feel power. But then you would have learned a lesson, that all great ponies will one day fall into oblivion, and will be forgotten by time and its forever glory to withstand anything that it comes in its path of ticking down to the final seconds of life.

'And when the final tick has been made, all life, will be truly forgotten, for it would have never existed at all, but all that of it remains is the light, for the light can never die out, and will forever withstand, without the support of time on its side.
So do what you want to do, both of you, but know that one day, you will fall, and wonder what went wrong with your life, look upon your past, and think of what you have done.

'Then, you will realize that being alive, as a pony, living, breathing, walking, and talking, is a curse. A curse of life, that cannot be undone, not even by god herself can undo the curse of life. For life is a torture, for we feel and die, and feel pain, and we wonder, why?

'So, when the day comes when you two fall, be prepared for the worst to come to you both.”

I am so shocked that the speech that Misty Midnight had made was…weird.

Then at the same time, it sounds cool, because it sounds like a philosophy, even though it doesn’t make any sense whatsoever. However, it still sounds cool and it makes you feel like you are smart.

Anyways, after Misty finished what she was saying, everypony stood silent within the room. Even the Cakes were stunned by what Misty had said, for it was not normal for a normal filly to say such a thing. Fuck it man, not even Twilight could come up with that kind of brilliance right there.

I mean, what she said right there was like…legit, and possibly, I’m high because I just said the word legit. Anyways, after the room went silent for a bit, a pony started to clap with his hooves together.

Then another pony started to do the same thing, along a few more, to which it then became a chain reaction where everypony was applauding Misty for her speech.

Then I swear to you that an orchestra was playing in the background, while a black guy pony, also known as the native zebrea, walked up to her and said, “You know what kid…you have guts. You did what no pony could in this time of need, and you did it. At first you had me worried that you couldn’t believe in yourself to do such a thing, but I am proud of you. Because on this day, a day that will forever live long within our hearts, that you, Misty Midnight, have made a speech so powerful that no one can remember it. You are a rare type of pony to come by, because most ponies will not go by a day in their life where they don’t stop and think why they have wasted such great opportunities that had went and gone by in their lives. You, area one of a kind, and you deserve it.”

Then Misty said to the black guy pony, “Who are you? I don’t even know what you’re talking about. I mean, have we met before? What is going on here? I’m starting to get scared.”

Then the black guy pony said, “Don’t be scared kid, I’m right here. Besides, there is nothing to fear while you have good on your side. However, if you’re still afraid, it’ll be ok….I’ll keep you nice and safe from harm’s way.”

Then the black guy pony slowly moved his hooves to Misty’s, grabbed it, and out her hooves on his black guy pony dick. When he did so, Misty noticed, by had a confused look on her face, for she had not come across this type of situation before in her life.

Then Chris Hanson, if he was a pony and two old timey prison guards were right behind him. Chris said, “Hello black guy…why don’t you take a seat…right over there. Come on…let’s talk…and break the fourth wall.”

Then the two old timey prison guards said,

“Hey, get away from that little girl you black son of a bitch! You’re going back to the Green Mile and you’re going to stay there until you die boy!”

Then the black guy pony said, “Well, it was nice meeting you kid, by I’ve got to run. Perhaps I can rape you later in your sleep, then another black guy pony like me will make an auto tune song about hiding your wives and kids because a rapist is in town.”

Then the black guy pony jumped from the window, along with the two old timey prison guards.

However, Chris Hanson was still there, and he said, “Well, I need to make someone feel bad and commit suicide. Diamond Terri and Silver Spoon. You seem to like to bully kids who do not have a cutie mark on their ass. Why don’t you take a seat, right over there? Come on…don’t be shy, I promise this will go up on Dateline in the newspaper, while News Press writes down our interview.”

Then News Press was right here and he said to the two little bitchs, in a really fast talkative voice that sounds like it belongs in the 1920’s, “Come on kids, let’s do an interview. Come on, I’ll promise you this will make you a celebrity, and I will take you beyond the stars. Come on, you’ll go to a place where nopony has gone before, and you’ll be famous. That and I can guarantee you some cocaine while I’m at it and a bit of weed to calm the down the edge just a bit.”

Then Diamond said, “That is cocaine?”

Then Silver Spoon said, “It’s possibly something that lame ponies do when they don’t have a cutie mark.”

Then News Press said after he did a blow of crack, with wide pupils in his eyes, “Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!!! That was a fresh wakeup call kids. I will tell you that was the best energy I had in weeks. But it appears that I’m out of cocaine. Know what, I’m going to kidnap you two kids and sell you for crack.”

Then News Press took Diamond and Silver to sell them for crack, while they were kicking and begging to be let go, while Chris said, “Wait! I just want to talk to you News Press about your addiction! Come on, why don’t you have a seat right over here!?!”

Then they left for the day. When they left, everypony just went back to their usual party and pretended as if it never happened. Dam, Ponyville is quite a smart town to live, I must admit.

I mean, that’s what I do when Neon does shit, except no one notices. Anyways, then Shadow walked up to Misty and he said, “Thanks for trying to stand up for us…um…”

Then she said, “Misty…Misty Midnight is the name.”

Shadow then looked at her with…ok eyes…but then said, “Well then, why did you exactly come here anyways?”

Then Misty said, “Well, I was actually looking for you.”

Then Shadow asked, “Why were you looking for me? No one ever looks for me, not even if I get lost in the Everfree Forest, not even my big brother Mac would go look for me. Instead, he will just tell me to go fuck myself and fight a bear because he’s usually is drunk most of the time. Mostly at night because of Applejack.”

Then Misty said, “Well, I’ve been watching you Shadow…from afar. I’ve been wanting to come up to you and hang out with you and be friends, but I was…too nervous to do so. I’m sorry if I bothered you and I’ll be fine if you say no.”

Then Shadow said, “Well, sure, we can be friends. I don’t mind that at all. I mean, you could have walked up to me anytime if you wanted to. Didn’t your parents tell you how to not be shy or something?”

Misty then stared blankly at Shadow for a moment or two, and then she said, “Well, you see, I never knew my parents. I have always been alone, although I think I have a brother or sister, but I’m not sure.

'Every time I look at the night sky, I always have a weird feeling inside me, as if my parents are watching me, protecting me. I’m not sure of it myself, but I believe my father is watching me the most, as if he was my guarding angle.

' I sometimes have dreams at night, or at least I think it is a dream, that I am atop a hill, that also appear to be some sort of cliff as well, looking down upon the little sleepy town of Stalia and Ponyville. I also look upon the town and look across to see Cantorlot.

'Every time I do so, I feel like there is something important, as if there was a connection that cannot be made by any normal pony. Then, as I am looking towards the north, I feel my father’s presence behind me.

'I recall that he would have a cloak on, as if he was hiding something from me. And when I go to turn around to see him, I can only see his moving mouth, for I cannot see his eyes.

'Sometimes I wonder, even if it is a dream, that even he doesn’t know what I look like. He then tells me to sit down and relax. I do what I am told to do, although I feel weird about, for I was never told to do anything for I never had any parents. After I sit down, my father tells me something…something important.

'He tells me…almost every night, that there will be a day, when one will rise, and will be a hero, but at the same time, he will be our end. One day, the fire will rise, it will save us all, it will also kill us all, and he says that there will be nothing to stop it from coming.

'My father also told me, that even when we get to heaven, we will still not be safe from the threat, for he will have died as well, and have his soul also reach heaven’s gates…upon the clouds that all hope to one day go after their soul passes.
He also said to me, that the one, who will bring this, will also say he would be sorry, and wishes for nothing like what he has caused to ever have happened. He will even say it was a curse.

'He even said that he will also fix the problem, but he never told me with what. After he tells me that, he tells me that I have a reason why I am still alive, and why he isn’t.

'He tells me the day will come when I will know, even if I am unaware of it. Then, to end it, he taught me a song and we play it every night together, as I enjoy most of it, because I feel safe with my father.

'We call it, “Will the bad luck ever be finished.”

'I’m not sure what it means, but I enjoy singing it. My father says that I have a beautiful singing voice as well. I do sometimes wish he was still alive, so we could…be a family once more.

'But he says it wouldn’t matter if he was still alive, because as he said to me every night, that we will all fall…we will all fall in paradise…and there’s nothing we can do to stop the prophecy from happening.

'He even said to me that he has seen it happened, that a unicorn, of a blue coat color…and a hat black as night…will be our demise. He says that, heaven will become a battleground, for those who seek revenge and power.

'He says that heaven’s sky will no longer be bright and heavenly as it always is every day, but of an evil red sky, as if dawn has just appeared before our eyes. He even says that god…herself…will even be lost.

'Even the one that has caused all of it, would be hiding…in a dark place…looking upon a small ball of light…that can save heaven and everypony else from death…but he sits there…looking upon it with fear…as he forever is cursed unless everything is fixed to what is meant to be.

'That is what my father says, that what he says what the future holds, and we cannot do a single thing about it. He says there is much more, but he rather protects me from the horrors he has seen.

'As for my mother, I never saw her, face to face. However, my father has always told me, that she was the most beautiful mare he has ever laid upon with his own eyes.

' I believe his words that he says, and he also says that my mother loved me very much, but was sadden that she never even got to see me even after she gave birth to me.

'My father says her spirit lies in heaven, along with the other good souls who have done nothing wrong. He too was also meant to be up there with her, but he refused to go, and escaped the judgment room, for he had unfinished business to attend to.

'However, he promised my mother that he would look after my siblings and me. He says that one day I will meet them, when the time is right, but for now, all I do is wait.

'And to be honest with you, waiting, is the most painful thing that a living thing could endure, for if we wait, we wait for the good and bad to come, but really, we’re waiting for whatever comes our way.

'My father told me this one night, and said even god knows this is true, because even she has been waiting, for the one that did not come, and she still waits in the room. He never told me specifically, however, he says that in time, I will know the truth, and with patients, the one that did not come, will know soon enough as well.

'Although, he did say to me, that every night, she stands in a room, that was prepared for his coming, under the moon light, and cry, for he did not come. She still waits, and sometimes believes that he will come one day, while other times, she believes she does not want to lie to herself, for he will never come.

'She even believes that the universe did this to her, as a sign, to stop. However, other than that, my father never told me anything else, except god is waiting, and it brings her pain to her heart, as she waits for the one that did not come.

'Waiting is a terrible thing, for our souls…will never experience true happiness. It will even sometimes be alone, as like a wolf…a lone wolf…as if it feels like it is forgotten. My father also had said to me this, and he knows it when he once breathed life in days past.

'He told me a story, right before that I went to bed one night, that he met a pony. He said he was the nicest stallion anyone could meet, or have as a friend.

'However, he told me that he committed suicide one night, for he realized that no one truly cares about him. He told me that the stallion wanted to be an author, and write stories for a living.

'In fact, there was a service, where he could write a story, and put it on a shelve, to which publishing companies would come along and choose those stories that they saw a profit they could make off of the book.

'Some were serious, while others only did so for fun. However, in between publishing companies looking through stories made by other pones, some ponies could read others, and even help one another out.

'Well, the stallion I was told of, one day had eleven stories written, and awaited for somepony to come by and look at his hard work. He soon learned that no one, too little like his work. Especially a book that he held dear to his fragile and saddened heart of tears and forgotten and broken dreams.

' It was a book that he had his heart set on writing, which was to be the longest book that anypony has ever seen before their eyes. He had planned it, for months that it would have the correct balance of comedy and adventure in it, and it would not be drawn out.

'In fact, my father told me that it was supposed to be different, instead of the usual stories we read every day in our lives, and would not rely on big descriptive words, for he saw that as a problem, for it should be simple and not complex.

'He had also written it in first person, and made the character act how he would act if he was in real life, and write his story out on his own personality.

'He wrote like that, instead of just being as if it might have been written in third person. He even pushed the limits of comedy and showed no fear in it. He even made the characters likeable and funny, and not too obvious.

'He even thought that he got the idea one day, and thought it was a blessing from god herself. However, than when others read it, they criticized it. Only but one stood and saw what he was doing.

'He tried and tried to explain, but nothing could get through their thick skulls of “stupidity” and blinded souls. He tried, but he was kept being put down. He could not make them understand what he was trying to do.

'Others did not even give it a chance, and simply said change everything. However, he did not listen to them, for he had worked hard, and did not want to change a single thing to it.

' Perhaps to add a bit more things or change a few lines of dialogue, but nothing to make a sweeping change. Others say it was too long for a book and should be shorten, for they did not see what his plans were.

'Others said he was mad, and did not make any sense. My father told me he read it, and he said it was brilliant, but was sadden due to the fact that he and the few only saw what it was meant to be than the standard book.

'My father even told me that the book had even a bit of mystery to it, as in a mystery that the reader would have to form their own theories, based on what clues they were given throughout the story. Then, when the moment was right, it would have been revealed, with great patient of course.

'Others, would not tell the answer, and let the reader believe what they want to believe. My father even told me of an ending that he had to make up his own decision, that it was mind boggling to think of happening in the story.

'However, he kept pushing through the fire and flames, but one day…he could not take it anymore. He told me, that he questioned, if what god gave him was a gift, or a curse.

' It had brought nothing but hatred to him and the story and made him feel jealousy towards those who do succeed, but was afraid to admit it, but had made him happy and a friend.

'He kept going back and forth, and it was a war to him. His brain told him it was a curse, while his heart said it was a gift.

'Soon, he could not take it any longer. So, on a moonless night, under the stars, he took a pill, that would make him sleep for all of eternity, so he would no longer have to live with the pain.

'My father told me that on the day of his funeral, that no one attended but the one friend he had made, and himself. Not even his family came to see him in his coffin, nor the ponies he was nice to everyday and put a smile on their faces. Not even the ponies that hated his story.

'Instead, those who disliked his workand simply spat on his grave. They even danced on it with joy that he was dead, and said he deserved it, for writing a mockery. They even vandalized his tomb, so his soul will never truly be in peace in heaven.
Others…however…did not even care or noticed that he was dead. In fact, others encouraged him to just commit suicide, so he could leave them be and do everypony a favor, even though they knew of any of the guards of Equestria were to find out about what they said, they would pay the price for it, for it was against Equestrian law to do so.

'My father told me he was saddened by it, and saw nothing good out of those were blinded by greed and ignorance. Sometimes, he tells me that he is glad that he is dead, for he does not have to suffer like he is abandoned, like the story he told me of one night before I went to bed.

'He even told me it is a lesson to learn from, but a lesson that will never be learned, for no one will listen to reason. As for anything else that you might want to know, I do not sleep in the orphanage.

'Not one bit, but I sleep under a bridge, in a cardboard box at night. I am told that there is simply no more room for me to sleep at night, but enough room during Celestia’s morning to come and eat a little something, so I won’t starve to death and be left to be eaten by the hungry rats for dinner early in the morning.

'However, as I said, I have been watching you from afar, and I’ve always wanted a friend to be with and hang out, for I am mostly lonely, other than my father at night.”

What the Fuck?....I don’t even understand why she even said that, but ok then, whatever makes the crazy little bitch be happy.

Anyways, Shadow and White then stared at Misty for a good long minute, until White said, “Nice story bro…”

Then Shadow and White decided to shrug it off, as if they didn’t hear what she had to say, which made Misty a bit sad, but happy to know that she at least has some friends that she can hang out with.

Then, Shadow said, “Well, we better get on our way back to Stalia before it gets dark.”

Then the gang was on their way out, until Applejack stopped them and she said, “Whoa, where do you think you’re going Shadow. You almost left without saying hi to your cousin Applebloom.”

Then, Applebloom emerged, and yes, I said another fancy word. My god, you all must be panicking right now, hiding your wife and kids and your apocalypse basement, because I said a fancy word that you all expected out of me to say.

I hope I didn’t make anyone faint and crash their car or something, because it was just a fucking word. Anyways, Applebloom then emerged behind of her big sister Applejack, along with her friends, Sweetiebelle and Scootaloo, or however you decide to spell that whore’s name.

Listen, I’m pretty sure that’s all what we’re thinking right now, that she is a whore, but no one had the exact balls to say it. Well…I said it, and now the deed is done. And yes, I said the word deed, so I’m guessing World War three has started already because of it.

Then again, maybe that’s just me thinking that whore is a whore. Whatever, she’s a whore for not odd reason at all.

Anyways, after the CMC came out, Applebloom said, “Well it’s nice to meet you cousin! How have you been?”

Then Shadow said, “Well…I’m doing fine. Me and my friends have to go, before it gets dark.”

Then Applebloom took a look at Shadow friend’s, White and Misty, when he said the word friend. Then Applebloom noticed that none of them has their cutie marks.

When she saw that, she gasped in surprised, and almost a million things went rushing through her head at once. Then, she said, “Could you excuse me for a moment real quick.”

Then her and her friends huddled up and she whispered to them, “Guess what, I noticed that none of them have their cutie marks.”

Then Sweetiebelle asked, “So, what does that mean?”

Then Scootaloo or whore said, “It means that we have more members for our organization. This is perfect! Should we tell them now or later?”

Then Applebloom said, “Now.”

Then they broke the circle apart and Applebloom turned her attention to Shadow. She said to him, “Would you like you and your friends want to join the Cutie Mark Crusaders?”

Then White asked, “The cutie what fuck?”

Then shadow just stared at him and he said, “Well, I did learn the word from my big brother Mac.”

Of course he would learn from him, then again, at this point, in time, I obviously did not care. Hold on for one moment before I continue.

Now, I have said that I do not care at times, while I also say that they are also cool to hang out with sometimes. Well, I should mention, that was a lie...well, sort of but not really. It only rings true when after a certain moment happened

Let me explain before anyone gets confused and starts a riot and starts a war in the country of Chad. I'm pretty sure those guys down there care about this stuff. You see, when Twilight was sent to Ponyville, she was sent there because she might have been a good student and studied well, but in Celestia’s eyes, she saw that Twilight only had one thing incomplete, and that was friendship.

Hold on, if I’m going to explain this, I want to have the correct music to go along with this.

Anyways, she was then sent there to learn about the magic of friendship, and study it have life lessons and morals learned and taught to her. In fact, she was moved up to the next level to her studies, and we all know the unfortunate event that came out to be, which is becoming an Alicorn.

The one true horror of them all, yes, I know. I am scared as well, but it’s ok, you’re safe here with me and the story.

Ok, maybe not so much, but you get the general idea of the joke. Anyways, Twilight was to learn about friendship. Well, the same thing happened to me, because Celestia saw in her eyes that I needed friends, instead of a fucking talking, trolling, sex addict, more like family member, Timber wolf.

Well, I have two words for her, “Screw Friendship.” At least at first

You see, in my eyes at the time, it didn't matter if you have friendship or not. Sometimes, if you’re good enough, you’re good without it, depending on who you’re are.

However, if it is a teamwork thing, then all you need to do is get the job done, move on with life, and not make friends.

Besides, I didn’t even wanted this to happen to me. I’m just doing it, because the universe is making me do such a thing. I mean, at the time, I was right. I had lost a lot of time, lost a friend, and was forced into this situation that I couldn't control and my only option being that I had to roll along with it.

At times, they were all together, like family, and we worked together and hanged out together. However, at times, I recall that at times, when it was just me and one of them, they say 'Screw the other guys. We don’t need them. It’s just you and me, against the world.' At least...that's what it felt like to me in my mind.

While at other times, it felt like we couldn't get along and weren't friends.

However, at times, I would usually hear this from Arrell as well, “Listen, guys, we’re all friends. We need to work together, to make this right. No matter what happened, we’re always friends, we’re like family. We look out for one another. And that’s the only thing that matters…that we’re friends.”

It's a weird relationship to say the least, and at the time I just didn't get it.

Even though I’m only here to do what the Universe wants me to do, doesn’t mean I’m going to stick around when it’s over. I mean, at the time, I just wanted to get it over with, so I can go back what I was trying to do in the first place, with TK and Factory Dash.

But as time went on, I learned to love the guys, it just took me a while. Just not in a gay way was all. In a way, they grow on you the more you spend with them. And the best part of it all, while at times it felt like we were apart, they also felt like you could rely on them, loyal as a group, yet broken like a nut...what?

So really, we’re almost the complete opposite of The Elements of Harmony. I mean, it makes sense. We’re male, while they’re female. However, for one thing, we’re a bit more adult relatable type of style, we curse, we steal sometimes.
We even drink beer and try to have a good time sometimes. Fuck it man, we don’t even try to learn anything about friendship at all, but instead just go on crazy and sometimes random adventures, that involves killing as well as other dangers that the Elements of Harmony could never stand up to..

Hell, one time we tried to rob a bank once and...well...that's a story for another time I suppose. But the point is, while the Elements of harmony cherish friendship and love and harmony and all that hippy dippy crap, we were the opposite and we did what we felt like was wrong. But intentional, maybe not intentional, but really we were on our own paths as a group and did what we did, sometimes without questioning it at all.

In fact, I feel like if it was a pun or something, and I never laugh at puns. I feel like laughing a little bit right now whenever I think about it. It doesn't make sense, yet the less I think about it, the more it feels like one big, joke, that was meant for a few ones off and then thrown to the wolves. ha ha ha...HA HA HA...oh I'm going insane the more I try to make sense of it all, so I should stop...but still...

It's just that I never saw that at the time and it irked me so to be with the them all. But that was at the time. Nothing more, nothing less. Sometimes we hanged out, sometimes we didn’t, yet the more we spent time together, the closer we felt together. Just not in a gay way, but in a homie of the hood kind of way.

I’m even willing to bet that my friends wouldn't be willing to betray me, and too be quite honest with you, I would do the same thing myself and be by their sides together as one, fight side by side, us against the world. But that's what I felt anyways. In reality's sake, I'm not sure how it looked like, even when looking back on it. And while at time we may have been assholes to one another, we were still a team, a group of friends with different outlooks and feelings, yet together in harmony, ready to face whatever was thrown at us. But that took sometime for me to comprehend at what I had...

Well that's enough rambling for one day I suppose. I'm not a rambling man after all...wink...

Anyways, once that lie is cleared up and out of the way, we can continue with the story here. That was fast... Anyways, as I was saying before, Applebloom explained, “Well, the Cutie Mark Crusaders is an organization that we all started, to help others to get their cutie mark and never stop trying. So…would you like to join our group. We can’t get you in the group right away, but maybe you could be the Cutie Mark Crusaders of stalia.”

Then Scootaloo popped out or whore that is said, “Yea, you could even help spread the word around the town and expand. So…what do you say!”

Then Shadow said, “Yeah, that sounds like an awesome idea! We could help out and we can all try to get our cutie marks! Besides, we don’t mind helping out.”

Then Applebloom said, “That’s terrific! Well, I’ve got to go now, but we can talk about it more later. Well, bye cousin.”

Then Applebloom and her friends went off into the sunset, doing the shit that they were doing…whatever it was. I feel like an Indiana Jones moment should be there for some odd reason. Anyways, the CMC of Stalia, or in other words, CMCS went off to get back home before it got dark.

Although they kind of got lost in the Everfree Forest in the dark, but some nice friendly Timber wolves, the same Timber wolves that raped Zecroa that one time if you recall, helped them out. What nice rapists they are, you know that?

Anyways, they then went into Shadow’s home, and went to the living room while Shadow’s dad was still not alive…I think he was alive or not.

Well, they then sat down and started to discuss what had happened that day, and I even recall Misty even having a slightest smile on her face, because for once, she had friends.

However, it did not mean that she could escape the fact that she is still an orphan for life at this point in time. And of course, that’s when Mac came in and asked what the fuck was going on.

However, Mac then said, “Well, I guess it’s ok, but you two little shits get the fuck out. It’s time for me to throw empty bottles at Shadow’s head.”

White and Misty then got out, and went on their back home. White of course broke into Jack’s house, so at least he had somewhere to sleep for the night.

As for Misty however, he was approached by Neon. Well, moments, later, I’m on my couch, smoking some shitty ass weed that I made myself. Well, I heard a knock on my door, which I said, “Hold the fuck up, I’m fucking coming!”

I then mumbled to myself, “Jesus fucking Christ.”

I said it because I was really tired and annoyed from the quick little adventure I just had with Mac not too long ago, so you could tell I was not in the mood to talk at the time.

Well, I opened up the door, and Neon pounced on me and he said, “Hey Knight! Do you want to go and hang out with Craig McCracken tonight!?”

Then I said, “Neon, Fuck…no.”

Then Neon said, “Well, how about inviting Misty Midnight to come in for a bit.”

I then saw who neon was talking about, as she was standing in the middle of my doorway. I then pushed Neon aside and said, “Well, I suppose I can keep the swearing down just a bit and not smoke weed for a while. Come in, I suppose, just don’t mess with anything, ok?”

Then Misty shook her head, and she made herself a nice comfortable spot on my couch. And it was also my favorite spot on the couch, so to me, she was a little bitch at the time to me. Well, I then asked Neon, “Why the fuck did you bring her over? Are you trying to screw around with my head again?”

Then Neon said, “Nope, but I did fuck around with your stomach, so you should be throwing up a giant squid any moment now.”

I then said, “What the fuck are you even talking ab…”

I then opened my mouth…and a giant ass squid came out of my mouth. After somehow he got out of my mouth, he said, “Well then…this is embarrassing. I was supposed to me my friend Ron here. Have you seen him around lately? He supposed to have eaten Johanna or something.”

Then that dead whale I mentioned came through my door way and he said, “Oh hey Phil, how’s it going?”

Then the giant squid, or apparently Phil, said, “Nothing much, you want to go back in the ocean?”

Then Ron said, “Fuck…yes. I mean, no offense here Knight, but this place isn’t really a place for a sea creature to live…you know? It really should be more aquatic creature friendly. I suggest putting lots of water and a shitload of fish. Maybe even put in some plant life here and there and some light would do some good. Fuck it, I think you really need to put a great white shark in here as well, you know, to brighten up the place. And of course some females, so we can rape them of course, as all male whale and giant squids rape females. Well, other than that, you have a good one then.”

They then left by jumping through a portal and went back home. I then decided to pretend that didn’t happened, even though it did, and let Neon continue to talk.

He said, “Anyways, I thought maybe you wanted to talk a little bit with Misty.”

I then said, “Fine, might as well then since she’s here.”

I then went into the living room, along with Neon, and found that Misty already started a fire in the fire place, and sat around it to keep warm. I then said, “I have a fire place? How come I don’t know these nice things that I have in my house?”

I then shrugged it off and decided to sit by Misty, while Neon sat on the opposite side of me as well. I then stared at the fire for a bit, and asked Misty, “So, could I ask how do you know to start a fire?”

Then Misty didn’t look at me when she answered me, so she was a rude bitch for doing so, and she said, “Well…I know how to so I can survive. I am an orphan and I usually make a fire every night to keep warm while I’m sleeping either on or inside a card board box, that is under a bridge at night. Sometimes I get to eat a nice warm meal down at the orphanage, but they don’t have enough beds for me to sleep in at night.”

I then stared at her, thinking how depressed this was right now. I mean, she was alone and it’s like if she was always sad. Then again I wasn’t going to adopt her. Sure I felt bad, but let me say it again.

I am not the best role model for children, nor can I barley raise a child or a pet. So there is no way she can be adopted and be my adopted daughter. Besides, it would be kind of awkward, since she is a Pegasus, and I’m a unicorn, so I couldn’t teach her how to fly or anything.

Unless of course I had a wife that was a Pegasus, or knew someone that would give a fuck about her, then sure, maybe, but right now, nope. So, I decided to change the subject and said, “Hey, why don’t we sing a little song?”

Well, it was better than to talk about the depressing shit. Misty said sure and she said she knew a song. Well, Neon also gave her his guitar to play, and strangely enough, she knew how to play one. She than started to play, and she played a song that she called, “Will the bad luck ever finish.” The lyrics went more like this…

There are those who live in the glory,
Who are have luck that are often miss.
When you look upon your own story,
You hope that you join them in their bliss.
Will the bad luck ever finish,
By and by, by and by?
He will have one last chance,
In the sky, In the sky.
In the joyous days of childhood,
Oft held the hopes of a bright future.
But only he shall rise to the heavens,
To make all who live in peace suffer.
Will the bad luck ever finish,
By and by, by and by?
He will have one last chance,
In the sky, In the sky.
He remembers, the days of his youth,
Which he held dear, to his heart.
Can you let go, of those memories,
Or is this what you want?
Will the bad luck ever finish,
By and by, by and by?
He will have one last chance,
In the sky, In the sky.
Can you picture your luck,
As in a path of a mountain.
And as you hope for greatness,
The path, goes dwindling down.
Will the bad luck ever finish,
By and by, by and by?
He will have one last chance,
In the sky, In the sky.
One by one, they all died,
One by one, in the heavens.
The only chance of survival,
Is for him to hold the ball of light .
Will the bad luck ever finish,
By and by, by and by?
He will have one last chance,
In the sky, In the sky.

I was so surprised that she was able to play the acoustic song to Bioshock Infinite’s song, Will the circle ever be unbroken.
I was so surprised by that, but then again, maybe it is different to them and Neon didn’t have to do with any of the song’s melody.

Anyways, I have to admit, I feel weird about the song. I couldn’t exactly put my hoof on it, and I still can’t, why this song feels weird to me. I mean, I got Goosebumps, and it is if like it was telling of the future or something.

In fact, I also got a strange creepy thing from Neon while she was playing the song and singing her voice lie an angel.
While she was in the middle of the song, I looked over to Neon, and he smiled at me.

However, when I looked at him, he had a bit of an evil grin on his face, as he was looking back at me. He even waved a bit to me, and I thought I heard this noise in my ears, that only I could hear.

I wasn’t sure why I felt what I felt, but whatever it was, I hope it didn’t lead into any trouble. Anyways, I then shrugged that weird feeling off me, and I said, “Well then, can I say, that you have a voice of an angel.”

Then Misty Midnight said to me, “Thanks. Listen…I have to get going. I feel like going to sleep early tonight.”

She then gave the musical instrument back to Neon and she was on her way to home, or at least that what I was told. In all honesty, here, she went to the mountain like cliff like hill area, to meet with her father.

Her father was looking upon down the small towns of Stalia and Ponyville, with despair in his eyes. He then looked across towards Cantorlot Castle, and he said to himself, “That’s where the greats live at, while one of them lives in the small town. One of them should live at Cantorlot, and perhaps then, the prophecy will cease to exist.”

Then her father turned around to turn his attention towards his daughter, Misty Midnight, who was hearing what he was saying. Misty asked, “But…you said that we couldn’t do anything about the prophecy?”

Then her father said, “Yes, and we cannot. We are forced to live with the choices that are made by the one who will save us all, but will be our end in the heavens. However, that does not mean if one’s mind is changed, we can still prevent it.

However, it is all up to the one who can save us all, but will be our end one day. Where were you my child?”

Then Misty said, “I was at Knight’s house, Neon invited me over.”

Then her father eyed her as if it was a surprise to him. He then said to her, “Well than, tell me where Neon and Knight are at. I must speak to them, for they are important right now for the two us.”

Then Misty said, “They both live in the town of Stalia. One of them lives at The Party Store, while the other one lives in the town’s library.”

Then her Father said, “I will speak to them as soon as possible. However, for now, it is time my child. It is time for me to put you to bed little one. Come, I will make sure you’re safe at your home.”

Then her father walked his child to the bridge, where he proceeded to say good night to his little daughter who was still too young supposedly. While this was happening, way back after Misty left my house, I said to Neon, “Alright then, get out Neon. I want to smoke some more of my shitty ass weed.”

Then Neon said, “Jinx!”

Then he opened up a portal and he pushed me into it which I was back on Earth…again…to see Craig once more. While he did that, I said, “Neon, what the fuck!”

Anyways, I better stop it at here for now. Celestia’s sun is almost about to rise, and I’ve got to get this phoenix back to its owner before anypony notices it.

Next Time:
Knight: Well, I’m spending more time with my friends and getting to know Mickey Mouse a bit more. But we also do get into trouble, along with my friends also getting to know the Mane 6, which should be an interesting mix. What am I talking about, bad shit is going to go down, but yet my interest has been peaked.
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Universal Magic: Episode 22: A Day with the Elements

UPDATE: Yeah...sorry for that ending dialogue from Misty. I thought back then it was alright..but now...ew... But I think I'm going to have to live with that mistake, I can't keep going back and changing and pulling a George Lucas you know?...

Wish I could fix all the cringe...but that's not how life works. Sometimes, you have to leave a little cringe behind...

So then, for those who do not know from my older readers before the second ban was placed on me, I would like to apologize for not being here. It is because I do not care anymore and do hate this site with a passion. Besides that, I have re-written Episode 1 a bit and re-wrote Episode 2, so by any means if you are interested in it, you can read it if you wish. I have also added previews for the next episode, such as the one you have just read, but for now it's only in episodes 1,2 and 3.5. Right now I am currently writting Episode 22, then after that I shall re-write Episode 3, Episode 23, and do any other edits from Episode 4, 6-20.5. As for Episode 5, that has plans to be re-written, but that is a different story and read the new descirption as it will explain everything. In fact, if you're wondering why all the comments have been deleted, it is not because I will delete any comments as I please, but the any comments that was before the second ban, so any comments, negative or postive will stay up from now on. As for any other question upon these changes, just read my blogs, for it is far too much to explain.

As for the new readers, if there are any, this does not concern you at all.

~TMG