Chapter17: Neon IS Normal

Ok, so I was still in bed, and didn’t wake up till around like almost lunch time or whatever. I was tired from yesterday’s events and I really didn’t feel like getting up.

I mean, I didn’t even want to go outside and do something that the universe wanted me to do. I mean, sure, the universe could just teleport me outside and do whatever, but that day, I really was going to put up a fight.

So, when I woke up, Wolf was sleeping in his bed,along with Molestia at his side. By the way, those two have been really getting at it at the time. I mean, they have been doing nonstop fucking almost every night.

I mean, Molestia will sometimes do me when I’m sleeping, which she is the sleeping fucker I guess, and sometimes when I’m awake.

Well, I looked at them, and they were sleeping and shit. In addition, if you’re wondering how does a big ass Alicorn fits in Wolf’s bed, well, they were on the floor fucking, so, technically, its Wolf’s bed, which is the floor.

In addition, he was fucking Princess Molestia in it.

Also, as for the fluids that come out of Molestia and all. Wolf cleans it up. Moreover, if you think Wolf cleans it with his mouth and he puts it inside him, then you are the sickest fuck that I know, and really are thinking too deep into this.

He manually cleans it up with a towel. If you thought that, then why? I mean, Wolf knows it’s disgusting at the same time to put inside his mouth. Whatever you sick fuck. I’m not the one thinking those thoughts. Did I just blow your mind there or what?

Well, anyway, Molestia got up, used her magic to carry Wolf back to her chambers, where they will continue to fuck, since I was awoken, that and the tiger was still asleep, and didn’t want to hear all the moaning coming from them while they were doing it. Yea, I still had the tiger.

Anyway, she got up, and thanked for last night. Yes, apparently, the sleeping fucker strikes again at me that night, while doing it, although, she sort of drugged me and I was half awake while she did me.

Oh well. This is pretty much my daily routine now, ever since I got to Stalia and all.

Well, Molesta let herself out, and I kind of laid there for a while thinking about that Lauren Faust dream that I had again.

Yes, I had it once again. I even recall in the dream, I was myself, with the usual little bit dark blue. Yea, I never specified my color coat.

Pardon me, but let me explain. My coat color is like Luna’s except lighter, but it’s a dark blue color.

In addition, to give you a better description of my friends, Neon looks like wooden Toaster’s OC, but with some differences, and Forest’s mane I fucked up on.

It isn’t black, but of a fire-ish color mane or a color to be specific that would go with his fire like coat. Got a better description now?

Anyways, as I was saying, I was in the kingdom, with Lauren Faust’s OC pony. She looked happy and smiled at me, and said something in a motherly tone, which would make since, since she is like the creator of Celestia and she has a motherly tone.

So it’s like Celestia inherited that or something. I don’t know. I am just confusing you more then what I should.

However, I couldn’t make out the words, because they weren’t clear to me, however, for some reason, I was shaking my head, as if I was understanding it.

In addition, I was in a stone room, with a like a light bluish portal or something. I don’t know, it’s like a hidden chamber or something.

Of course, have I told this to Wolf yet? The answer is no, because something tells me not to, and I just try to push that thought aside of the dream that I had, so I can move on with life.

However, at the time, I couldn’t shake the feeling off from the dream that I had…. I had something to do with it. I mean, at the time, it was as if it was my weakness.

Sometimes I couldn’t even get to sleep because of it. I couldn’t help but feel like I’m connected to it somehow. As if, I was meant to be here.

As in, I was supposed to go to this universe. Although, I’ve kind of figured that out, ever since the universe keeps trying to FUCKING TROLL ME AND MAKE ME DO SHIT!!! Sorry, I just had to let out some steam. Moving on.

As for the dream, that can be discussed father as we move along the story in the future. However, I still couldn’t shake the weird feeling off me.

Anyhow, I got out of bed and went to the bathroom and did my mane and shit. What? My mane can sometimes look like a doucebag and shit, whenever I wake up in the morning.

I mean, it’s not long or anything, but I don’t want to look like a fucking doucebag in public. Besides, I’m pretty fucking sure whenever you go out in public, you don’t want to look like a fucking doucebag.

Anyways, I went downstairs to smoke some weed. I actually made a hybrid weed. I took all the kinds of weed, and made it into one.

It’s really hard to do so, so I saved it for special moment. So that day, I felt like doing one. I was about to light one of the special weed, but I got a knock on my door. I grunted and went to the door and opened it.

To my surprise, it was Neon. He had a nervous look on his face. I mean the only other time I recall something like that was when we had that Zebra Problem.

What was her name again? Don’t remember. That’s why I call her black guy pony, so just in case I can’t remember her real name, I can name her by a fake one that I gave her.

Therefore, when I opened the door, Neon pounced on me and said he needed my help. Of course, I pushed him off, and said to fuck off. He kept saying that I didn’t understand.

Oh no, I perfectly understand. He just wants to harvest my organs in his little hidden basement in the party shop. Well, I will not be fooled by a…. whatever he is.

However, he kept saying that he had lost his ability to break laws of physics. Therefore, he is self aware of it. That means it’s only a matter of time before the universe explodes, because that’s what it seems to me that way.

I mean, Neon is random, so that just makes perfect sense to me.

He kept on begging me, to which it got to a point where I agreed to do so, which he had a smile on his face. I then asked him what we had to do.

Neon then said, “If I need to get my powers back. There’s only one place that I would know where that would be at. On Planet Random!”

You read right. Planet fucking random. So he’s like an alien, although, he isn’t, which I’ll explain later about that. At least I knew where he had his powers from, so that means if I could destroy the source of it, it would no longer give him the power. Whatever, just thinking at random there.

Anyway, I then said no, because I actually believe on that one. Well, if you ever spend a week with Neon, you will believe everything that he says. He then told me we had to, since there was a predator attack.

Oh, right, forgot to mention. Remember those predators from the last chapter, well, not all were dead. In fact, the ones that have survived adapted to TK’s fighting skills, so they can no longer be killed by him.

In other words, Equestria was fucked.

In fact, Neon showed me through a window, and I saw ponies running away from the predators. In fact, it was really bloody out there. Blood and guts everywhere and flying everywhere as well.

I then decided to go with Neon, but only to fix the problem. I then asked him how we get to planet Random, and he said to Twilights library.

We then ran outside, and as we were doing so, we were dogging predator’s attacks. I mean, it’s like the Asians from Vietnam.

I mean, they were coming out of the trees man. They were coming from the bushes man. Now I’m talking like a Vietnam soldiers man. Note to self, stop smoking weed from Vietnam soldiers.

Moving on, we eventually got out of Stalia and went through the Everfree, which took us almost all day to get through. I mean, since I was like the king of the Everfree, no animals harmed us, but it was still a long ass way that we walked.

We eventually reached Ponyville and the sun was setting and by now, word has gotten out that the predators attacking Stalia and is advancing to other areas.

I then went to Twilights door, I knocked, she opened, and Neon let himself in. what an impolite guest. He then started to throw books off the shelves and knocking on the wood.

Twilight opened her mouth and was about to ask, but I said to her to shut the fuck up, “I’m more confused then you are right now.”

She then nodded her head, and eventually Neon found a hollow spot in the shelves walls, and punched through it and grabbed a book out from it.

First off, there was already a hidden book in the tree house, if you recall from one of the episodes. You just wonder whom the fuck built the place.

Also, dam. Neon is one fucking strong ass pony. He is just a fucking badass and shit.

Neon flipped through some pages from the book, and eventually found what he was looking for. He then sat the book down, and started to read in what sounded like Muslim and Asian language put together, as if some kind of hybrid.

I always knew he was Osama bin pony. He’s a traitor to the rebel alliance and why am I trying to quote star wars? That was fucking ridicules.

Well, eventually Neon was finished and a big ass-fucking portal opened up in the room, while a bunch of chickens popped out of it. That or you can call the chicken’s scootaloos, since she was a chicken and shit.

They were pecking at the wood like woody wood pecker, except not high on cocaine like he was. I wonder why woddy never went to rehab for his addiction, because he seems to be high on crack in the cartoons. Don’t you agree?

Neon then told me to get through the portal, or klatu bitch will get me in my sleep. That is what he latterly said. You can just tell this is going to be a random chapter with random things in it.

I then went through it, since I was scared of what Neon said. I wasn’t afraid of what actually was going to happen, but Neon’s words just made me jump through the portal.

I blacked out when I went through, and of course, I dreamed of that Lauren Faust OC pony again.

I mean, when I first got to Equestria, it didn’t happen at first. However, for some reason, the longer I stayed there, the longer the more frequent the dreams were. They were starting to become one of my many weaknesses. Yea, a god like being that has weaknesses.

Well, at least I don’t only have one weakness, like that fucking bitch superman. What? You want to fucking complain and start a flame war?

Well, come on man, let’s bring it on then?! Bring it on bitch. I ain’t fucking afraid of you! Come at me Bro! Come at me! I’ll rip your spine out! Sorry for that, but you just don’t want to get into a flame war with me.

Then again, this is in a book, so technically, it wouldn’t be a flame war, and possibly when a human being finds this book where ever I fucking decide to put it at, you people will possibly won’t even find me to start the fucking flame war. So fuck you.

Therefore, what happened this time I was on clouds, and of course, the OC pony was there but along with Celestia and Luna, but they were fillies. As if, they were kids and growing up.

What the fuck does that mean you might ask? As I said, you just have to wait for the answer.

I mean, eventually, those dreams were going to prevent me from sleeping, because I just couldn’t sleep, with that weird feeling on me.

It’s like tony stark in Iron Man 3, how he couldn’t sleep because ever since New York and shit. I couldn’t sleep because of those dreams. And when I do sleep, it’s always that. They eventually stopped, but it only stopped when something that I discovered.

I soon woke up, with Neon staring in my face. He said he was trying to wake me up for 11 years. Of course, we were on planet random, which random shit happens all the time.

When I got up, I saw where we were, and it looked like a hybrid between earth and all creations that were from movies or shows or whatever the fuck that you do.

I mean, there was Lego people walking down the streets, while the dog from blues clues was doing its cousin. While Bob the builder just started hitting on weird chicks, while the wiggles were running away from Twinkies since they were pedophiles. This place was fucked up.

In addition, the sky was red or as if the apocalypse has arrived, the four horsemen of the apocalypse were there. Speaking of the horsemen. They were there!

However, there weren’t spreading terror, but shooting rainbows out of the horses asshole. Neon explained to me that was the daily rainbow that happens whenever a dog fucks a horse.

In addition, another thing to note is that the cities were pretty advanced then the human way of life or life back on Earth in other words. It was pretty high-tech. maybe we weren’t random, like these people were.

Anyway, Neon told me to follow him. I asked where, and he said to his parent’s house. Ok, so here is the thing. Neon was from the MLP universe.

However, when he was little or a child or a colt I should say, he was given god like powers and was then trained by Liam Nession, just like Batman and Darth Vader. However, it required him to leave Equestria, so he took his family along, and they have been living there ever since.

After a while, when Neon was about 18 years of age, he wanted to get back to his roots, and went back to Equestria to live out his days as a pony. Well, at least you get an origin story for Neon, right?

Well, we were walking or trotting to his old neighborhood, and as we were walking along, I saw some humans.

I asked what were those, just to make sure he wasn’t suspicious of me. He then said they were humans and they came from the planet Earth, which was not random as planet random.

Therefore, apparently, Neon has been to Earth, and knows everything about it. He says the human race will eventually fall and be extinct and what not and were not good to be with. Although, apparently on this planet of randomness was good to be with.

Well, when we got to Neon’s house, I saw three kids from the PJ’s playing jump rope with an electrical wire, while fucking a dog that was killing the pope in the pope mobile. Not making that up.

Neon then knocked on the door. Excuse me, he banged his head against the door, until there was a hole through it, and his father opened it up, and was a stereotypical father from the 50’s, while the mom looked like an ok mother.

One of Neon’s sisters was a crack head, while his brother was also normal like. Neon also has a little brother, which wanted to kill me and everyone around him. Basically, a psychopathic Emo.

I mean, I talked to the little kid, saying, “well, aren’t you a cute little fucker.”

His response, “I’m going to kill you. I’m going to kill all my brothers and sisters and mother and father. I will then destroy this planet, and then cut myself, while gang banging the prince of Egypt (the movie and the real one) while feeding a polar bear dog food. Then cry in a corner.”

Yea, that is what happens when you encounter an Emo. They just end up killing you at one point in your life. But at least you get into heaven that way, where the Nazis are at. Surprised? I am sure I’m more surprised then you are.

I mean, I can out surprise you and every possible way.

well, Neon’s mother offered me the guest bed in Neon’s bedroom, but I was afraid to say yes, because I’m pretty sure Neon was going to harvest my organs or kill me or do some weird fucking shit while I’m asleep.

Then again, he doesn’t have his powers, so it was until he got them back. Although, I was still afraid of him, because I can just feel like powers or not, he still looks into my souls with his eyes and preys on my innocence.

Now I have shivers down my back as I’m writing this down. Are you getting shivers right now? Moving on.

Therefore, I then said I had to use the bathroom, and Neon’s mother pointed me in the direction. In other words, she gave me a fucking map.

Although, it was simple, as in German language. She then gave me the map and lit the map on fire. This place certainly is random. Neon really does belong here and should stay here and never come back.

I mean, that way, other ponies can live and won’t be killed by him. Although, I’ll admit, I would miss him and his randomness shit fucks of feats that he does. Don’t know what I just said there, but I went to the bathroom, and everything seemed to be quite normal.

No unusual object out of place, although, surprisingly, Mr. Hanky was there and he humped and jumped from the toilet and said “howdy oh” and got the fuck out. That actually put a smile on my face, since its Mr. Hanky from south park.

He even gave me a little present, which was shit. Yea, I lit Mr. Hanky on fire for that present, and left him on a dogs doorstep. Yea, dogs doorstep. Don’t ask.

So, while I was in the bathroom, I was thinking of “No, I’m not a Brony, get me out of Equestria again,” and remembered the part of when TD trolled the D.O.R.K.S.

I remembered the part mostly about the Nixon one. Well, I decided to do something random, since I was on planet random and might as well try to fit in, because I was afraid that if I didn’t, these uh…. creatures on the planet would kill me for being a non-believer.

Well, I did exactly what the fan fic chapter said, which was to say Ronald Regan in the mirror five times and flush the toilet.

After I did that, I laughed my ass off, thinking how ridiculous that It was. Then, a Richard Nixon head slowly rose from the toilet and it talked.

It said, “I am Richard Nixon. Thank you for freeing me from the Muslims Russian Jews. They were fucking my head with a stick up a rods asshole. I am now your personal pet and will serve you till the end of time or will fuck you in your sleep and pee and your face, then explode at random.”

I then had a shocked horrid face look. I then said, “Well, at least it’s nothing like that biggie smalls joke myth from South Park.”

In addition, right when I said it, biggie smalls appeared with a gun to my head.

Then Neon busted in through the door, by using his crack head sister, who had a Sony walkman, listening to slow ride and strawberry fields forever, and busted her skull open, and was left there for dead, and Neon said, “hey man. Just checking up on you and….”

He then gasped and said, “you have a personal Nixon pet too!? Oh, my mother fucking spaghetti sweet baby black Jesus god this is fucking awesome. I have one too!! But it’s a Black Nixon.”

Then the black Nixon appeared right beside him, as if it came from another dimension.

He then said the N word to me, and for good reasons, I will never say that or write that word, because it’s quite fucking obvious why. In fact, pretend I didn’t put the N word there.

However, he said what’s up my N word, and put a gun to biggi smalls head and shot him and his body disappeared into oblivion.

In addition, when I mean Oblvion, I mean, the actual game of oblivion.

Then Neon said, “you know what we should do!?”

I then responded by, “I’m afraid to ask.”

Then Neon said, “we should have a battle to the death with our Nixon’s!! We can use the death battle arena at my old Pre-K teachers house.”

He then dragged me along a dirt road and we ended up in Neon’s old childhood teachers house.

We just busted in without knocking, although, it didn’t matter, because the teacher a Muslim Jew who was doing the Russian dance on top of a coffee table, with draft punk playing, ‘television rules the nation’ ,while there was an audience of dogs booing the Muslim Jew guy. It was as if I was going insane.

Neon then dragged me to the Muslims Jews hidden basement, where there was illegal cock fighting and a Nixon death battle.

There was a battle going on when we arrived, which was Lance Armstrong who had a Pokémon and a humping robot, fighting against a giant fucking Asian Nixon head.

The giant Nixon head said to the humping robot and Pokémon, “I am your god!! Bow down to me and all shall suffer the same fate as gay Nixon! And illegal Mexican Nixon as well!!!”

He then shot laser beams in and out of his eyes and killed his opponents and the person who had those Pokémon was Lance Armstrong.

He then said, “Dam it. Now I have cancer again.”

He then was teleported back to earth, or as in the earth you guys are in. apparently, this is how he got the steroids, by winning battles against giant Nixon head’s, but if he lost, he got cancer.

Nevertheless, if he lost to a black guy, he got AIDS. This chapter get’s more fucked up as we go, I know. I’m afraid too, but it’ll be over soon.

Then the Nixon head that won said, “I mother fucking win!! Take that super Asian Nixon head!” Then he exploded and super Asian Nixon head pissed on the audience and ate their legs. I’m starting to get scared of this planet the more that I think about it.

We were then teleported to the battle arena, where the people from the matrix came up to me, and gave me my weapon, which was a red pill, and gave Neon the blue pill.

We then took it, and Neon was just knocked out, while I hallucinated.

I imagined a giant chicken mask fighting Tara strong in a battle to the death, with turkeys fucking scarecrows in the ass, while beer rained, and I was in a field that was strawberries, while the beetles were playing “strawberries fields forever.”

The only thing that I enjoyed was the song. In addition, if that’s what really our lives are, and we’re just laying there in the strawberry fields, you know, since I took the red pill and all, then I rather stay here then go back to the strawberry fields.

Neon and I then woke up from being knocked out, and I saw a dead black Nixon head in front of me. Apparently, the heads were fighting while we were knocked out, and my Nixon head got a little violent.

He used his mouth and slaughtered the black Nixon head. When Neon saw this, he said, “Dam it. You killed my Black Nixon head and sunken my battleship.”

For some reason, that sounded funny. Well, then Neon ignored that his Battleship and never talked about it to me in every possible way. Well, then Neon ignored that his black Nixon head was destroyed and told me to follow him to the bar where I would meet his friends.

When we got to the bar, which, by the way, the bar was like that bar from star wars, where the classic bar music was playing. I don’t fucking know, it’s hard to explain.

Well, my floating Nixon head also came along. I then met Neon’s old friends who were at the bar. Neon’s friends consisted of that guy who played in Green Lateran, but had the Green Lantern powers, ALF, Donald Trump, a floating JFK head, a giant mother fucking Dr. Pepper can that talked, Tom the rock, and Tom Hanks.

Neon introduced me to the Green Lantern guy, and he said hello to me and what not. Donald Trump was about to say something, but then the Green Lantern guy said, “Shut the fuck up trump!! No one wants to hear your political beliefs. No wait, I believe in a different type of government. Nooooooooooooo!!!!”

Then guards took him away and into a tree where he was signing staying alive, while being butt fucked by squalls. I said my political beliefs, which was the same thing that Green Lantern was, but no one took me away.

I thought I could actually be free from that nightmare, but yet, I was wrong. Then Neon asked if they could help him get his powers back, but Donald Trump was bleeding all over, ALF, well, he just talked to me instead.

He said, “Can I eat your cat?”

I said I didn’t have a cat with me, and he said, “Then why the fuck do I smell a cat around. Cat!? Cat? Where are you? I just want to fuck you and eat you! Caaaaaaaaat?”

ALF then walked around the bar, looking for the cat.

Then the Dr. Pepper can said, “no thanks.” He was a polite Dr. Pepper can.

Then Tom the rock just simply said no, and Tom Hanks didn’t say a word, but ate everyone’s legs at the bar except for me and Neon.

Then we walked out the bar, and Neon told me, “First, if we want to get my powers back, we have to go to the council of random.”

I asked how do we get there, and he told me we had to ride a retarded flying moose, who was Lumpy from Happy Tree Friends, which was a daily transportation and we got on it and crash into a mountain and we were there.

I felt like we died, but we ended up at the council. We then had wait in the waiting room area.

I sat there, while Neon put a pencil in his mouth, and puked. Neon said it was tradition to do it while waiting for the council.

He offered me to do it, but I obviously refused, but then out of nowhere, optimums primes came to me, gave me a gun to kill a Pepsi bottles, while three dogs were fucking a bee and a turkey had fire coming out of its mouth and ass, while two robots name Jim and Harry fucked all night long. I don’t know anymore, ok?

It was then our turn to go into the council. It was a dark room, and there were five spots where the wise ones of randomness were sitting at. Yea, they’re called that.

Then the leader of them all said, “The council shall commence in ten minutes. Until then, the bear shall come in.”

Then Neon had a scared look on his face and said, “oh no. not the bear!?”

Then, a Russian bear on a unicycle juggling three balls while the classic circus music playing in the background came in. That was it.

That and a scuba diver and a guy in a panda costume were in a row boat going back and forth across the floor, while a monkey was bashing an alligators skull in with a calculator. This chapter keeps getting weirder and weirder as we move on with this part of the story, isn’t it?

Then they exploded out of random and the leader said, “Your request of your powers has been denied.”

I couldn’t believe it. Now I had to continue a random adventure with this guy.

Since I clearly wanted to get this adventure over with, I spoke up and said, “Hold on a minute here. My friend Neon here really needs those powers back. I mean, back in Equestria, ponies need our help, because creatures called predators are attacking and killing innocent lives. So can you please just give him his powers back, so I can go home to a peaceful place, so I can smoke my weed in peace?”

Then the leader said, “wait, you’re that normal guy who isn’t even a citizen of this place. Ok then, you get the powers that breaks all laws of physics. Case dismiss.”

I then had a strong force push me back and I had powers to break all laws of physics. All, right, and the council members, all shot a Pepsi bottle, while fucking a crushed red peppers container, while rainbows came out of there asses, while flying cats were eating pop tarts.

Then Neon had an ok what the fuck expression on his face, and we walked out of the building that was not in the mountain.

Who the fuck knows, maybe crashing into the mountain was a teleportation, but then again, why didn’t the rest of the passengers were there. I don’t know. It’s best not to question it.

So then Neon said, “maybe someone stole it from me”

I then said, “oh boy, why would someone want to steal your powers?”

To be honest, I don’t know if I was trying to be scarstic there are not.

Well, the next thing you know, out of nowhere, Neon grabs a device, and puts it on the ground and opened a portal to earth.

IN HOLLYWOOD

Robert downy jr. was relaxing at his home. He had stared in iron man 3 and was making a fuck ton of money, and paid hookers and what not.

He even had eleven sons, but didn’t care, since he banged so many chicks before. Sure, he had a wife, but of course, he didn’t give a fuck, because he was fucking iron man.

He was sitting down, reading the newspapers, and he was reading where a dead Taylor Swift body had been found dead in her home.

Robert had a smile on his face, for he was the one that killed Taylor, and blamed it on Jude Law, that guy he works with in the Sherlock Holmes films. He was then hoping he would get a better actor to replace Jude Law.

Of course, how did he make it look like Jude Law did it?

Well, he had put a random stick by it, so it looked like a British person had done it, because everyone knows that all British people are wizards.

Then, a portal opened in his one hundred million dollar solid gold and red living room and was taken through the portal. Robert then woke up to a neon greenish pony.

BACK TO THE STORY

Well, Neon had brought Robert Downy jr. along for the ride. At first, he was confused, but then Neon told him he was Sherlock Holmes, and that he needed him.

Then Neon killed a random person, took his hat and pipe, and gave it to Robert. Robert holds it in his hands, still speechless.

Then Neon grabbed my Nixon head, and threaten him to say something or he would use the Nixon head against him.

The Nixon head had all kind of guns and shit, and even a nuclear bomb ready go off any minute and had barking at Robery with his sharp teeth.

Then Robert looked up in the sky and pointed upwards. It was a yellow submarine.

Then Neon said, “of course. How could’ve I missed it. it’s so obvious. I had a feud with the beetles for years, and maybe they did it. Or maybe, perhaps it was the blue meanies that did it. Quick Knight! Buddy ol’ pal! To the yellow submarine!”

Then Neon got on top of my Nixon and floated upwards.

Then Robert looked at me and I said, “look. I wouldn’t question it if I was you, and I’m more confused then you are.”

I then was somehow teleported up to the submarine and the beetles were animated from the movie and were singing yellow submarine.

Well, two beetles anyway. One was dead on the ground, because I remember one died of cancer. The other one had a hole through his skull, which was when one of the beetles was assassinated by a guy with glasses.

I’m looking at you NC. We all know that you were the one that did it and covered it up on a doucebag. That fucker.

Neon then used the Nixon head and killed another member of the beetles and asked the last one alive where his powers were at.

Then the last beetle said, “I don’t have a fucking clue. How about if you ask the dam walrus, down below the sub marine.

Now if you excuse me, we were about to sing a song about love.”

He then started singing, and his heart exploded and was everywhere in the sub.

Then, we were teleported out of the sub and the sub crashed into a tower like building. Then another sub crashed into the other tower like building right next to the one that was already destroyed. We basically made another 9/11, but with submarines.

I think we should’ve done it by using giant polar bears instead of yellow sub marines. I don’t know where the second sub came from, but I have a feeling that Osama bin pony had something to do with it.

We then saw the walrus. The walrus had sunglasses and had hippies all around him and singing ‘I am the walrus.’

Neon then asked him where was his powers were at, and the walrus said, “How about you look beyond the stars man.”

Then Neon said, “of course. Quick! To Effils65’s house!”

Then Neon left without me and the walrus was then eaten up by a rhino. Goody.

Then Neon stopped in the middle of the road, high jacked a car that was a Lego car, and he earned two stars with five hundred dollars, like in a Grand Theft Auto game.

Neon saw that above him, pointed the gun at the score, and the two stars went to five stars and the money went to the infinite symbol. Then he shot down that white dragon from the never-ending story movies and we got on it.

Why did he high jacked a Lego car, well, some Muslims beer cans paid him and they drove the car into a Denys and it exploded. Then everybody stopped in their places and applauded them for their good deed.

Now, that’s actually makes sense, because Denny’s fucking sucks. I mean, just go to a fucking I hop or a fucking waffle house.

Why would you be going to a Denny’s in the first place? in matter of fact, there was a drunken donuts or Dunken Dounts I should say right by Denny’s, and it didn’t get destroyed and I asked, “why didn’t you destroy the Dunken Donuts instead?”
I mean Krispy Kremes is so much fucking better.

But don’t worry, a giant ass fucking midget and Ronald Regan lit the place on fire and took a piss on it, grabbed a Canadian person, gave him American bacon, which he then melted and said no like in the wizard of oz, and did crack and shot out to space, where they are living with Wheatly from Portal 2. What a nice ending for that place.

Neon then pulled me on the white dragon and we went off to a concert hall. Oh right, and my floating Nixon pal and Robert as well. We then landed in the concert parking lot, which was full of illegal Mexicans and some illegal Mexicans escorted us to our seats, which somehow Neon had reserved. Don’t understand that, but ok then.

We then were in front row seats and Effil65 was there. They then started to play ‘I’m blue.’Now, I’m a huge fan of that song, so I got up on stage and sang it with them and the blue aliens took me to the planet right next to planet random.

Then Neon grabbed hold onto the ship. So basically, he used me as bait. Nevertheless, what I don’t understand is, how did he know I would go up on stage and sing. Coincidence? I don’t fucking know, it was blue fucking aliens.

Well, then the ship landed and I was then taken to the blue alien stadium, where the song ‘I’m blue’ continued to play.

In addition, surprisingly, as for the instruments that were being played were the Italian army from the ‘80’s stars’ video that effile65 did.

There was also the red fucking balls acting as security guards, and that blue avatar chick from the ‘move your body’ video was there as well.

Nevertheless, the way, my newly founded powers couldn’t be controlled at the moment and it killed the avatar chick. Well, at least the 90’s chick I think I was supposed to know when I watched the video was at least dead.

Well, while this was going on, Neon, Robert, and Nixon were fighting off the blue aliens like in the music video. They were also singing the song ‘I’m blue’ as well.

After they found me on stage, Neon shot a gun in the air, and asked, “where is your blue meanie leader!!!”

the leader then came up on stage and asked what the fuck that we needed from him, because he was raping a blue ho, blue balls, and the avatar people, which included James Camoren.

Man, that is just fucked up right there. Neon then asked, “Do you have my powers?”

the blue guy said no, turned into a raptor from Jurassic Park and killed some of the blue aliens. Neon then said, “let’s go.”

Unfortunately, the crowd members heard Neon, and asked for me to stay.

Well, I wasn’t a fucking singer, so I said no, but I felt bad that they weren’t getting good music, and that if I left, they would have to go back to listening to Taylor Swift music, which if they heard it, they’re explode.

Either it was so awesome, they died, or it was so horrible, they died. Either way, they die. Well, I asked the Italian army behind me and asked if they could play ‘my console’ and ‘back in time.’

The armies response, “we are Italians and we will one day invade your earthly planet and kill you all and eat all of your legs and arms and we will cease to exist, for we don’t have enough intelligence to exist. Or in other words, we are too retarded.”

Which they said in unison and then they all turned into midgets and started playing the requested songs. Well, at least I leaned something that day, that all Italians are midgets.

No wonder they made that Asian theme song for MLP. I also possibly didn’t make sense there, but hey, this chapter doesn’t, so why the fuck not?

In addition, Neon kicked me in the back of the blacklegs and I then teleported to what looked like the camp site from MASH.

Apparently, Neon knew I could not control my breaking the laws of physics ability just yet, so he gave me a little boost to use them and go back to planet random.

Well, we were in the grass fields in that campsite from MASH, and when we saw it, the theme song started to play.

Neon then told me to go down and talk to one of the surgeons down below. I used to watch the show a lot and I knew the characters, however, it’s been a while, and for some reason, this and other things is what I forgot about back on Earth.

I forgot the characters names, so just bare with me. I talked to one of the surgeons in one of the tents and too be honest, it looked like the Vietnam war was still going on in this planet, and this would possibly or possibly will not piss of veterans if they ever read this part of my story.

In addition, I believe it was the Koran War in the show, but as I said before, it’s been a while and I forgotten what it was.

Well, I asked and he told me to put a mask on, to which I then said, “what the fuck did you just say? I’m sorry, but am I not going to fucking infect the person. I mean, I’m fucking eleven feet away from that guy who seems to be suffering from a weird Asian disease. That maybe or maybe not just called the Asian disease on this planet, since it’s fucking random as fuck. so please, can you tell me where my friend Neon’s powers are, since he told me to go down here and ask you guys?”

they then started to cry and kill the guy that was having surgery done on him, and said, “how could my best friends plane be shot down over the sea of Asians. Why dam you!!? Dam you space monkey zombie god!! Dam you!! dam you to HELL!!!.”

He then shot himself, and while the others just fucked and raped the two dead bodies in the room.

Therefore, just to be clear here, what they heard from me was this, “your best friend’s plane was shot down over the sea of Japan. There were no survivors.”

Therefore, we were going by the show basically, but in a fucked up way.

Then Neon suggested on talking with a Vietnamese, or sorry, he said an Asian guy, since he’s Asian and would know where his powers are.

Well, Neon is weird and I wouldn’t question his weirdness. Just let whatever happens with him happen. That is what I do, because there’s no use fighting it.

Well, with luck, an Asian was smart enough, since he did the math correctly and were passed the white people at the guard posts.

The random Asian guy said, “YOU DIE!! YOU DIE NOW!!!”

Then Neon said, “what luck. An Asian guy on planet random, and he’s one of the rarest species on the planet, although on earth, there’s only one and there’s a shit loads of them, but this is a rare Asian. You must approach it slowly, or it’ll get startled and run away. Hello mister Asian guy, I’m not here to hurt. I am your friend. I just need you to answer a question for me. Can you do that Mr. Asian guy?”

Then the guy said, “I KILL YOU FOR HONOR OF MY LEADER, THEWATCHER509!!! I SHALL KILL YOU IN HIS HONOR!!!”

Then Neon asked the questioned, “where is my powers mister Asian. Don’t be scared, I promise I won’t kill you if you if you don’t know answer me in five seconds.”

The guy then said, “FUCK YOU!!!”

Then Neon said to me, “my god. He’s right. I’ve been blind this entire time. It was my old enemy, Kula!! Thanks mister Asian guy! Bless you. Bless you and your Asian soul!”

Then the Asian guy said, “I KILL YOU!!!”

Then Neon killed him and trotted off into the distance. Then, the dead Asian guy’s skin peeled back, revealing a giant lizard that ran into the jungle. What do you know? We’re just being stereotypical here today, aren’t we.

Therefore, according to this planet, all Asian people are really lizards that are disguised as to what we think are Asians. I always knew they were aliens. Oh my god. I’m starting to become a Neon as I’m writing this.

That and I did have the powers of breaking the laws of physics, so I guess it’s making me put it down here. That or the powers are making me be a fucking troll, so technically, the power here is the troll, not me, but then again, know what? Fuck it, let’s move on with life and forgive and forget.

Therefore, what happened next was I saw Neon looking at the ground and stopped me in my tracks and said, “Knight. Don’t move a muscle. It’s a mine molar. It’s an animal that will explode if you move.”

Then Robert walked into the scene and said, “I’m so confused right now you random ponies that I just met. I mean I’m’ supposed to be back in Hollywood, fucking a blonde chick that I paid to rape that I found on Craig’s list and star in Sherlock Holmes 3. So, can you ponies take me home or what? I can give you hookers and money if you do.”

Then Neon responded to that with, “Quick Iron Man. Take this mine molar and save us!”

then Robert said ‘what the fuck’ and the iron man suit start to come to him one by one, as he was being tossed the mine molar. Then mine molar then exploded and sent iron man off into the distance beyond the mountains.

Well, looks like Earth isn’t getting Sherlock Holmes 3 or the Avengers 2 then.

Then Neon kicked me again to a warehouse building, where it was raining outside and the doors to the warehouse was open.

I asked what we were doing here, and he said that ‘he believed his old enemy, Zula had his powers.’

I then went along with it, since I’ve lost all hope here. Then Neon and I walked through the doors and we found Zula, gutting some Canadians that he found on the road.

He then said in a heavy weapon guy’s voice, “after all these years Neon, you finally found me. I’m guessing you’re here to finish what you’ve started all those years ago. Well then, kill me you son of a …”

then Neon killed him. He then said, “I don’t understand. If I killed him, my powers would have returned to me by now. There’s only one other thing that I can do. Quick Knight! To the All Mighty Giant Zune!”

you read right folks. There was a giant fucking Zune, which surprisingly was in the room right next to us. We then walked up to it and it glowed a green bar whenever it talked.

It said to us, “I’m am the all mighty giant Zune. What do you want?”

Neon was about to talk, but I decided to make him shut the fuck up, because everything was so weird today, and I just wanted to go home. So I said, “we’re here to see if you can give my friend here his powers back, from this corpse that we sacrifice to you.”

The Zune said, “well that’s very kind of you guys to do so, but I’ve got like Bill Gates killing and sacrificing people to me, so I really don’t give a fuck. However, I will give your friends power back if you get one of my Zune’s.”

I then said, “what!? No fucking way. Zunes fucking suck. IPods are way better.”

Then Neon whispered into my ear, “good. Good. Resist the Zune.”

I then said,” isn’t there some other way?”

The giant Zune then replied, “no deal. You either take a Zune or get the fuck out, so I may continue to plan a bombing on all the apple stores.”

I then gave in and said, “Fine. Give me a fucking Zune you doucebag.”

The Zune then said, “really? Wow, no one ever buys my shit. Ok then. I’ve got a 4GB, a 25GB, a 100GB a…..”

I then said to shut him the fuck up, “just give me the dam 4GB so I can get the fuck out of here. besides, I’m not even going to use it.”

The Zune then said, “well, here’s your Zune. And I put as many songs that I could and I also have like good music and shit on their like today’s modern music and….”

By the way, he gave me the Zune through a slot or a whatever, he just gave me it.

I then cut him off and said, “let me stop you right there. Now, you’re just wanting me to burn this thing when I get home. So, I hold up my part of the deal, now let’s see yours.”

The Zune then hesitated and said, “Oh right. Sorry. Got carried away because no one takes my Zune’s. Ok, so I’m scanning the body and I can’t give your friends powers back.”

I then asked why and he said, “It’s because he doesn’t have them.”

Then Neon said, “Wait a minute. I know who took it this time. I’m sure this time Knight. Moreover, he’s been under our noises this entire time. Quick Knight! Back to Equestria!”

Neon was about to zoom out, but I stopped him before he could go any farther.

I then said to the Zune, “before we leave, can you take away my powers?”

Then Zune then said, “uh…. no dumbass. I can’t, unless someone equal to your power ability could, but you’re pretty much at the second to highest power there is, so no, but I can give you a container to put the powers in, but you can’t destroy it, nor give it to someone else and it will always go to you.”

I then sighed and said, “Fine, give me the fucking dam container.”

Then the Zune said, “I will, but you have to switch out the 4GB Zune with the 300GB Zune.”

I then said, “Fine then. Give me it so I can go fucking home now.”

The Zune then said in a whisper, “Oh boy. I never got a good customer. Ok, so here, it is and I’ve got you tons of songs on there. And also, here’s the container, and I’m not going to tell you how to fucking use it, but there is the instructions on the container itself, so thanks, friends.”

I then said, “I’m not your fucking friend. Let’s get the fuck off this planet Neon.”

Therefore, we did. I then teleported off the planet and back to Equestria. Yea, I was starting to get used to the powers.

When me and Neon got back to Stalia, there were bunch of dead bodies everywhere.

Their were dead bodies left and right. There were dead bodies’ coming out of the trees man.

There were dead bodies that were big and too small for a rat to eat. There was one dead body and two bodies. There were red dead bodies and blue dead bodies. There were new dead bodies and old dead bodies. They were quite a treat. Moreover, why the fuck am I writing like Dr. fucking Seuss.

Then again, he was good at children book and mostly part of our childhood, but then again, he was a rapist, because all children’s book authors are rapists, because why wouldn’t they do book for children? Confused? So am I, let’s move on.

Therefore, I even found my friends were all dead, except for Wolf. He escaped with Molestia and decided to live out his days at Molestia’s castle and get fucked twenty four/seven.

Well, the predators saw us, and I said ‘run’ to Neon, and I basically followed him to the building where he had been hiding that dead body.

He told me to use my powers to hold up the door so the predators couldn’t get through, and he then walked up to the dead body and said, “So. It was you this entire time that stole my powers.”

I then was like ‘what the fuck’, but then a white orb of light got out of the dead body and it said, “Yes!! It was I that took your powers, and you won’t get it back.”

I then asked, “who the fuck are you!?”

The white orb then said, “I am the orb of blah. I have killed many on many planets. I was going to destroy the wrenched planet random, until Neon stopped me.”

Then Neon said, “I would’ve killed you, but you ate all the fucking Scooby snacks. So hand over the powers, or I’ll use this Asian guy.”

Neon then grabbed an Asian guy out of nowhere.

Then the orb of blah said, “You think an Asian guy can stop me. You haven’t change Neon. Not one bit. You still, after all these long dreadful years, you think a random Asian guy can stop me? Well, you got me; it can stop me, but only in this form. Now, Neon! You have forced me to show my true form!"

Then the orb of blah turned into a hamster that talked. That is fucking right folks, a fucking hamster.

He then continue to talk, which was, “now you can never stop me!!”

Then Neon said, “you monster. How could you be a hamster? Of course, I’ve should’ve seen this coming.”

Then the hamster said, “Yes! Not you, nor you human friend can stop me!!”

Surpassingly, Neon ignored that, which thank my fucking Celestia for that, but then Neon said, “well, I may not be able to stop, and since I don’t have my powers, that even fucks me over even more, but I still have one thing left. Talking to the audience, right audience?”

Neon then gave a wink, while turning his head not to me, nor to the hamster, but what looked like if there was a audience, well, in this case readers, but audience. In other words, you guys that are now reading this part of the chapter. Neon was talking to you not too long ago and winked at you. Basically, breaking the fourth wall.

The hamster then said, “You Selfish fool! You have doomed us all!!” I then said, “What the fuck just happened?”

Then the hamster replied to me, “don’t you know foolish human, that your friend Neon has doomed us all, by breaking the sacred fourth wall. The wall the separates the audience from the show. The wall that is sacred and should never be broken, or all known life will cease to exist!”

Yea, Neon doomed us all. I then asked, “Wait! What about Pinkie Pie!? She always breaks the fourth wall.”

Then Neon replied, “Yes, but she isn’t bounded to planet random, so whenever she breaks the fourth wall, she can never destroy the universe, nor bring the audience members into the show.”

I then asked once more, “show?”

then Neon said, “Yes, show! My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic. That is the show that they are watching, which was created by Laruen Faust, although back on Earth, that’s what they think who created it, but they don’t know the truth. Laruen Faust, nor anyone else ever thought up the show. Not even the Bronies. I mean, we can’t even be created by a simple Brony on the computer, writing this out as a story.”

I then said, “I’m so confused right now.”

Then Neon said, “Oh Knight, you don’t have to hide it anymore, I know that you know. I know that you’re not from this universe, and are from Earth. I also know about the portals and TK and Factory Dash, by the way, the tour of the factory was great. I got a coffee mug that says ‘I went to the rainbow factory’ from the gift shop. No, wait that was an alternate universe where the factory did have a tour and they had a gift shop. It was great how they made rainbows and all. I never would’ve thought using ponies would be useful of creating a rainbow. Anyways, I know all about the Brony fandom and you being a Brony.” I was really shocked that Neon knew.

I then said, “Well, my covers fucked. No wait? You said earlier that humans aren’t good, so why haven’t you killed me yet?”

Then Neon said, “Oh Knight, you really don’t know, do you? Well, I would tell you, but I’m not allowed to, because the
universe told me not to, and that they’re going to do it. Anyways, you don’t know do you, about the show? I mean, what did you think of our existence Knight? that we are just part of some story?"

SOMEWHERE IN THE REAL WORLD, WHERE MORGAN FREEMAN IS NARRORATING THE STORY NOW.
(Note: I had orginally made a joke about me and this story's existance, but I have changed my mind it is now delted and forever lost. Although it is still on it's orginal document, but that is a different story.)
BACK IN STALIA WHERE MORGAN FREEMAN ISN’T NARROATING
I just sat there thinking of a possibility Morgan Freeman might of came into the story, but ok.

Neon continued to talk and said, “I mean, come on Knight? What do you think of this existence? I mean, what Laruen Faust’s ideas were, they were not true at all. The ideas that she had for the show weren’t based off her thoughts and ideas, but based off something else that is completely different. The show is really based off of is….”

Then the universe exploded. Well, Neon did break the fucking fourth wall, so I should’ve expected that coming. Neon and I were basically the only living things in the non-existent area.

Well, we were floating at random and Neon had a smile on his face and said, “My powers are finally mine once more!”

then, there was a big bang. Basically saying, Neon is god of this universe. In addition, that means I’m the co-creator of this universe Well then, that’s surprising to me.

We then ended up back in Stalia, minutes before the attack from the predators. Neon and I were the only ones that had memory of the attack ever happening.

We were in my home and Neon kicked down the door and killed all the predators at once. That and Neon found another dead body that he can keep secret from me and shit, so, Neon wasn’t completely sad, as long as this dead body doesn’t turn out to be one of Neon’s enemies again, I guess it’s ok.

In addition, everyone in Stalia questioned what the fuck Neon just did. Even my friends did, and even they know him the most. Even Classy Jack.

Yea, remember that fucking name? If so, I’m surprised, because I was wondering if anyone of you remembered that full name. Well, do not know what I was trying to prove there, but Neon saved us all.

Well, I saw all this happened from my house, and I just said fuck it and I went to sleep. Then Neon walked through my door, and talked to me about shit.

He also asked me if I wanted to go back to Planet Random, but I said fuck off.

He then said ok and he told me he would see me for winter wrap up in 10 minutes. Yea, winter wrap up was that same day. Apparently, we had snow.

Next Chapter: Episode 18: Winter Wrap Up That Gives You Hypothermia Estimated time remaining: 57 Hours, 56 Minutes