Prince Blueblood was relaxing in his family's royal suite in Canterlot Castle, or at least trying to. It had been trying times, to say the least, between the political fallout from the coronation of the new princess, the arrival of the delegates and an entire platoon-- flock?-- herd?--- of nigh-cosmic entities, each comparable to Celestia and Luna in power and influence, and dear Pater's own demented ambitions and outrageous demands. Between his current shenanigans and that little debacle with the attempted betrothal-- he winced and adjusted his seating-- Prince Blueblood had decided to do everything in his power to stay out of the way and out of sight. To this end he was now hiding in this opulent chambers with nothing but his favorite fluffy bathrobe, his teddy bear (1)  and a sundae large enough to take a bath in(2) to keep him company. The staff had been dismissed, with orders not to disturb him and that he was unavailable to anyone due to recuperating from something unpleasant, infectious and indeterminate. The doors were locked, the curtains drawn, the mail slot taped shut. All was well with the world, at least for the next six to eight hours.

Alas for the Prince; unbeknownst to him, forces were aligning against him. Forces that were generally small, cute, and barely knee height, but which when on the move had caused princesses to blanch, armored soldiers to give pause, and city officials to re-check their heart medication.

The Cutie Mark Crusaders were in the palace, and the forces of Chaos trembled.(3)

By way of apology for the kerfluffle, the Ponyville foals-- and their parents, who had arrived on a wave of parental panic and recriminations against their wayward young-- had been granted an overnight stay at the palace in the guest suites. The parents in question had been somewhat mollified, and settled in to enjoy a little one-day respite.

The children in question, however, were to get no rest. As soon as dusk fell, tiny dragonfire-delivered scrolls found their way to every child, ponyvillean and royalty alike. Instructions and a crudely drawn map to a hidden corner of the castle were provided. Normally some of them might have balked, but they were all chafing at their recent chastisement and weren't in a mood to be good little colts and fillies. At their first opportunity they sneaked out and followed the map where it led.

When they arrived, they found a dimly lit, broad storeroom of stone and heavy timber, with what looked like a small aqueduct running through the floor in the middle.  Nyx, Spike, Bright Eyes, and Killdeer-adder waiting for them already... along with a small herd of colts and fillies. "Who are all these?" Gossamer squeaked, retreating to the rafters in alarm.

"Oh, um, right, introductions," Nyx said. "Everypony, this is Gossamer, Po, Songhili, you already know Killdeer-adder, and Doubloon should be here soon--"

There was a splash, and the merpony surfaced from the aqueduct. There were coos of wonder from the Ponyville foals."Got here as soon as I could," Doubloon said, tossing her mane back. "You would not be-LIEVE how many drainpipes and aqueducts run through this place. Cuh-razy." She looked over at the herd. "Who's all this?"

Nyx started over with the introductions. "Sweetiebelle, Applebloom, Scootaloo, Pipsqueak--"

"No way I'd miss this!"

"--Twist, Flitter, Featherweight, and Rumble.."

"We met the other day."

"Truffle, Dinky, and of course you know Bright Eyes and Spike..."

"Here we go again--"

"Shuddup, Spike."

"I know you guys were here already," Gossamer said, flitting in a circle around Applebloom, "But how'd you get all these other ponies into the castle without anypony noticing?" Gossamer said.

Killdeer chuckled. "Easy." He pointed to an enormous shipping crate sitting in one corner of the room, at the bottom of a loading ramp.

"Pony Delivery, shipping anywhere in the Canterlot region within the hour," Spike said.

"This room used to be a wine cellar," Nyx said. "They'd drop off barrels of wine and other stuff here--" she pointed to the doors at the top of the loading ramp-- "and then they'd float them out down the aqueduct here, to the rest of the castle. They stopped using this room after they got a better system of magical dumbwaiters in, but never bothered to bar it up." She smirked proudly. "I found this place in 'Canterlot, a History."

"We just had them deliver the crate to loading dock 13, and bribed the delivery pony with muffins," Adder said.

"Couldn't have been a comfortable ride," Doubloon noted.

Flitter grinned and held up an empty flask. "Good thing we slept through it," she said. "We borrowed a batch of Applebloom's Sleep Like a Log potion and we all dosed up before we got in."

"We know, I'm still picking leaves out of my mane," Truffle said, scratching.  

It had been a source of discombobulation to the CMC when Applebloom, despite having a hammer and wrench in her cutie mark, started taking up potion making as well. As she explained it though, her special talent wasn't just about mechanics or carpentry; it was about putting things together---  to make something entirely different and new. As from her perspective there was a perfectly normal continuum between putting together boards and nails and paint into a new piece of carpentry, bits and parts of a machine into a new gadget, or herbs and chemicals into an elixir.... usually with rather exciting results. It tended to get particularly hair-raising when she started applying her potions knowledge to her mechanical inventions.(4)

"So what did you want us all for, Nyx?" Sweetiebelle said.

Nyx bit her lip. Actually, she hadn't wanted all of them. She and Spike just sent out the call for help because they had no idea how many would even be able to respond. "It was a general call for whoever could make it," Spike interjected. "This is kind of big."

"It better be," Truffle said. " If our parents find out we ran off to Canterlot without their permission--" he left the threat dangling in the air.

"You mean when," Flitter pointed out. "In for a penny, in for a bit." Truffle and Dinky in particular looked anxious. "Hey, if you didn't want to get in trouble, why'd you come?"

The two holdouts blushed. "Twist/Pipsqueak came," they said. Glances and muttered excuses revealed that many of those present had likewise seen the other crusaders up to something and had been loth to be left out. "Well, like you said, we're in the soup," Flitter said, facehoofing. "So this better be good."

"Guys, guys, GUYS!" Nyx shouted, clapping her hooves together. Everypony turned to her. She hiccuped and did Aunt Cadence's breathing exercise a few times. Once she had her nerves under control she spoke. "Look, I'm sorry some of you might get in trouble, but a lot of us are in trouble already anyway," she said. "In fact everypony's in trouble. My mom, the Princesses, these guys--" she waved to the brat pack-- " me, everypony."

"That's what you said in the note," Pipsqueak said. "The Princesses are really in trouble?"

Nyx took a deep breath and nodded. "A bunch of-- a bunch of royal plotheads are trying to get the Princesses in trouble," she said. "Cause they want to take the Princesses off the throne, and put their own King or Queen in their place." A collective gasp went up.

"Can they do that?" Dinky asked.

Nyx nodded. "If they get the Princesses in enough trouble," she said.

Applebloom waved a hoof. "Maybe y' better start over at the beginnin', Nyx," she said.

Nyx nodded. "You know all those newspaper stories that came out about us...?" she started.

The explanation was long, but thorough. The ones newest to it were getting increasingly agitated. "So let me get this straight," Truffle said. "These Bluebloods and their friends sent out ships to the Western Sea after Nightmare Moon, um, I mean, after you--"

"Nightmare Nyx?" Sweetiebelle suggested.

Truffle nodded. "That works. After Nightmare Nyx, these Bluebloods and their friends sent out ships full of ponies to the Western sea to convince everypony out there to blame the Princesses for everything and to sue Equestria. 'Cause they hope if they make things bad enough for the Princesses, the Princesses will be forced to leave the throne-- and then they can put their OWN pony up there instead and rule Equestria with an iron hoof."

"Pretty much," Nyx said.

"So why aren't the Princesses just arresting these guys?" Truffle concluded.

"Because they can't prove it," Applebloom said. "There's no evidence, just lots a' gossip and rumor and coincidences."

"I bet they could ruddy find some, if they looked hard enough," Pipsqueak said.

Nyx shook her head. "Not if the Princesses are too busy to handle it. Like, right now. With the Council and the kingdoms and all that stuff going on. Especially right now, with Mom preparing her presentation for the Council. That's why they did that gossip paper thing...to make things harder on her, to keep her distracted."

Pipsqueak scowled. "And I'm guessing that gossip story was just the first shot across the bow," he said.

Nyx nodded. "Mom figures it's just the first one," she said. "That the Bluebloods are going to mess things up for us as much as they can, by starting more and more rumors about her, and me, the other princesses, till nopony reading the papers knows what's true and what's not."

"What a bunch of rotters!" Pipsqueak exclaimed. There was a chorus of agreement.

"Tho what are we thupothed to do?" Twist asked.

Nyx got a cunning look on her face. "Mom and the Princesses can't prove the Bluebloods did anything, 'cause they don't have any evidence. But if WE got the evidence..."

Featherweight pointed a hoof. "If we got proof that the Bluebloods were responsible for the gossip story, or for the whisper campaign out in the Western Sea, or any of it, then the whole thing blows up in their faces."

"Like a party cannon full of cake batter," Scootaloo said, grinning and rubbing her hooves together.

Nyx stood to her full height. Every being present stilled and put their full attention on her; Anypony there could feel a Moment(5) happening. "It comes down to this," she said. "We're ALL in the sling right now. All of us Royal Brats are in trouble with our parents, even if it wasn't our fault, because we ended up in a tabloid." Several of the Brats, especially Killdeer-Adder, looked glum. "Sweetiebelle, Scootaloo, Applebloom? Half of Ponyville thinks it's you that wrote that awful story-- and that Featherweight took the pictures." The trio looked steamed and Featherweight grimaced. "The Princesses and Equestria are in trouble with the whole darn world... because of me, first," she said looking ashamed, but her shame turned to defiance," but then because these greedy plotheads wanted to steal the throne, and they didn't care who they messed with along the way.

"And they think they're gonna get away with it. You know why?" She paused for effect. "Because they think everypony is too afraid of getting in trouble  to stop them." Her scowl turned into a smirk. "Well bad news for them. We're already in trouble. And it sure as heck hasn't slowed us down before!" Surprisingly dark chuckles filled the room.

She stopped a moment, and scuffed a line in the dust in front of her. She stepped back. "I know it's a lot to ask," she went on. "A lot of you could just go home and forget about this, or lay low till your parents and friends forget about this. But anypony that wants to help me with this, step over this line and--" Before she even finished the sentence the whole gang, Royal Brats and Cutie Mark Crusaders, had stepped over the line to join her. Nyx's eyes puddled up. "You guys are all the greatest," she said, wiping her eyes on her leg.

"Ehh, we know it," Scootaloo said, smirking.

Poor Po looked out of his depth. "I cannot believe I am doing this," he said. Then he sighed. "But Master Zeng He... he looks at me with such shame now. He will not even stay in the same room with me..." he looked up. "If I can win back even a glimmer of pride in his eyes, it will be worth any world of woe I suffer."

"All right," Killdeer said, offering up his fist, "Let's show these Blueballs what getting in trouble REALLY is! brohoof, dudes!" The mob gave a group hoof/paw/fist bump and a whoop.

"So what's the plan, Nyx?" Applebloom said.

"Spike?" Nyx said. Spike thumped his chest and gave a belch. A stack of rolled papers appeared out of the smoke cloud and landed in his claws. He carried them over to the table-- an old door laid across some barrel halves-- and spread them out. "This is a really big plan," Nyx said. "And a lot of it isn't filled in, 'cause I didn't know who would be able to help. But if we work together we should pull it off."

She pointed to a map of the castle's floor plan, and to one particular section circled in purple crayon. "The main goal is to get into the Blueblood's private suite, find the incrinimenting evidence--"

"Incriminating," Sweetiebelle said.

"Whatever. We find the evidence, get the evidence, and get it to the Princesses before anypony can stop us."

(6)"The first part is going to be the trickiest. We have to get the Blueblood's personal itiner-- intner-- internalary-- phooey, their daily schedule. We have to know where Duke Blueblood, Duchess Blueblood, and Prince Blueblood are gonna be all day. To do that we have to get into the royal clerical pool, get to the Blueblood's personal file, and sneak out a copy. Since Flitter's here, that's her job. Think you can do it?"

Flitter scuffed a hoof against her chest. "Hey, if I couldn't--"

Killdeer frowned at this, puzzled. "Why would she--" Up to this point Flitter had been in her typical disguise; a green filly with a long pink mane and a mask cutie mark. There was a flare of green and she returned to her normal changeling form. Killdeer and Adder both gave a tiny scream.

"I'm a Changeling," she said. "Got a problem with that, handsome?"

"Why no, no none at all," Adder said. "Nope, no problem," Killdeer said. Both of their voices were unnaturally high.

"Okay good," Nyx said. "But first, we gotta find Blueblood's REAL secretary and keep them out of the way. We'll need a distraction. And that's where you come in, Dinky..."

The castle's clerical pool was greeted to an unusual sight that morning. In the midst of dozens of ponies in cubicles hauling stacks of papers back and forth, shuffling through rolodexes and perusing filing cabinets came a tiny blonde-and-grey unicorn filly bearing a bakery box on her back and dragging her hooves like it was the end of the world. Small foals (and baked goods) don't escape notice long in a secretarial pool; one of the mares looked up from her work and leaned down to look at her. "Oh dear," she said. "Why the sad face, sweetheart?"

Dinky lifted up her tear-streaked face. "I- I lost my mommy," she quavered. It wasn't entirely an act. Dinky was the youngest member of the CMC, and sneaking away from her beloved mommy in the middle of the night had been a little bit more naughtiness than she could bear.  "I, I wanted to surprise her with some muffins," she said, "So I sneaked aboard the delivery truck she worked on, but when I got out she wasn't there and I was losted in this big castle and I'm gonna be in trouble and..." tears gushed down her face.

Hearts harder than stone had cracked under that onslaught before; the clerical mares around her were not made of nearly such stern stuff.(7) They abandoned their work en masse to flock around the distraught little filly, cooing and inquiring after her Mommy's name and who she worked for...

Nyx, watching with her little magic pocket mirror, nodded in satisfaction; just as she'd planned. She'd felt awful when she saw Dinky had come along, so this worked out perfectly. The secretaries would contact Derpy's delivery company, Derpy would race over to pick up the filly and take her home. That would get the littlest Crusader back home safe and hopefully in as little trouble as possible. And hopefully the double-thick pudding-filled banana-blueberry muffins would mollify Derpy a little too.

Plus, they got their distraction.

"Okay, Flitter," she whispered into her Crystal Empire walkie-talkie. "Go!"

There was a faint flash of green from a nearby broom closet, and Flitter emerged. She was disguised as a nondescript office worker, and slipped effortlessly into the clerical offices without anypony even looking up from the poor lost little unicorn. She moved rapidly from desk to desk and cubicle to cubicle, then meandered her way around the room, tapping something behind her ear. "Did you find her?" Nyx whispered.

"Oh yeah," came back the answer. "Black mane, orange coat, third desk from the far right."

"How could you tell?" somepony else on the channel said.

"Easy," Flitter said dryly. "She had a piece of Blueblood's stationery on her desk, a jumbo bottle of aspirin, and was nursing a pinched butt." Giggles and snickers popped and crackled on the walkie talkie line.

"Okay," Nyx said. "Step two..."

"How do we keep the real secretary out of the way?" Applebloom asked.

"An extra-strong dose of your Sleep Like a Log potion should do the trick," Nyx said. All we have to do is slip it into their coffee..."

Nopony saw Flitter's partner Bright Eyes slip into the room. Nopony saw him walk up to the hapless secretary's desk and empty a test tube into the secretary's coffee while Flitter distracted her with office small talk.  Nopony saw him slip out the same door, mission done. Of course, if anypony had, then there wouldn't have been much point in sending an invisible unicorn to do the job, would there?

The next moment Flitter was chivvying an increasingly groggy mare out to the restroom to freshen up. She took a detour and plunked the mare down in an abandoned office just as the potion took full effect. A blanket, a locked door, and a do not disturb sign and the secretary was left blissfully sleeping away her otherwise unhappy work day, an apology muffin on the dusty desk before her and a few small leaves sprouting from her ears. Flitter, now disguised as the secretary, returned to the office and began rifling through her desk and cabinets.

A half hour of nervous sweating, and a close shave when some obvious close acquaintances came around to her cubicle, and she had the file. She made her way briskly out of the office, returned to the broom closet, and climbed up into the ventilation ducts with her prize. "I have the itinerary, we are go!" she whispered into her walkie talkie gleefully.

She loved spy movies.

A hasty retreat was made to the abandoned wine cellar, where the others were waiting. Most of them had been in and out, keeping their parents, elders and guardians complacent about their whereabouts; Others were busy using Spike's flame-mail to drop notes in handy places "reminding" their parents that they had a Cutie Mark Crusader meeting, or that A was meeting B or B was seeing A... this little one-hour window was all they had to get together to plan, and they had to plan quickly.

Nyx chewed her lip. "This doesn't look good," she said. "They're all going to be in and out all over the place today. There's really only one time where everypony-- the Duke, the Duchess, all their help-- is going to be out." She pointed at the schedule. "Right here at lunchtime. That's only about an hour to search the entire suite for anything. This is really cutting it close."

"Why is it cutting close?" Killdeer asked.

"Because villains always make it so the heroes cutting it close to being too late," Pipsqueak said knowledgeably. Nyx nodded. Everypony knew that. Why else was Daring Do always escaping death traps and rescuing people and stopping evil ceremonies 'just in the nick of time?'

"More likely," Songhili said softly, "Because your mother is making her presentation to both the Assembly of Kings and the Council at that time. And if Duke Blueblood was planning to pull something dastardly... that would be the time to do it." That somber bit of analysis had everyone looking grim. Nyx especially. Twilight had been practically barricaded in the Starswirl the Bearded wing with Ink Spot, Time Turner and a small army of workers, working nonstop to prepare... whatever it was she was preparing. If anything interrupted her or messed up her work, it could be very very bad. Hopefully what we're doing will distract the Bad Guys long enough for her to finish, she thought.

"We'll just have to all go in together," Scootaloo said. "Turn the whole place upside down, grab whatever we can find." She was a long time advocate of the zerg rush model of problem solving.

"Sounds like it. But first we gotta take care of the guards and any help that might be there," Applebloom pointed out.

"More potion?" Gossamer suggested.

Applebloom shook her head. "All out," she said. "That's another thing, we gotta get the stuff before that secretary wakes up and sounds the alarm. She'll be conked out till at least sundown... or should be... but if somepony finds her first, it's all gonna come unglued."

"Besides, the guards aren't allowed to eat or drink anything while on duty," Killdeer pointed out. "Kinda to keep things like that from happening."

"Sneak in the windows?" Gossamer suggested.

"Pegasus guards,"  Featherweight said.

Nyx nodded. "Okay, we don't need the guards to go away long, just long enough for us to get in.." she mumbled to herself. "Okay, um, we're gonna need to make another sacrifice play like with Dinky... we gotta borrow some stuff from the cafeteria."

The guards standing outside the Blueblood's door raised their eyebrows as a rather enormous serving cart with a lidded tray on top trundled down the corridor towards them. It got rather close before they saw it was being pushed by a rather pudgy little colt in a busboy uniform; the little fellow was huffing and puffing as he strained to push the cart down the carpeted floor. he finally reached the door with a bump and stopped, leaning against the cart and mopping the sweat from his brow. "Dinner for his Lordship the Duke and his family," he said.

The guards' expressions didn't change. "The Bluebloods are unavailable at this time and are not to be disturbed," he said.

Truffle did his best bluster. "Well nopony in the kitchens told ME that," he said. "Look, I hauled this heavy-butt meal all the way up here and..."

The guard's ear twitched; he heard something that sounded suspiciously like a stifled giggle. "Yeah, awful heavy for just a cart full of food," he said. He reached out with the butt of his spear and swept the drapery around the cart aside(why DID they make them with those anyway?) revealing two fillies, a white unicorn with a pink and lavender mane and a cream colored earthpony with a frizzy red mane and enormous glasses, crammed together underneath. They let loose with an earsplitting squeal; a flashbulb popped in his face, temporarily blinding him.

"EEEEEE! Prince BLUEBLOOD!" The unicorn squealed.

"Did you get the picthure? Did you get the picthure?" the earthpony said.

"Wait, you're not Blueblood-- Where's Prince Blueblood?" the unicorn hopped out and began running around between the guards' legs, pointing her tiny camera in every direction.

"I swear I didn't know!" the pudgy colt yelled. "I really really didn't-- Okay, they paid me fifty bits--"

"Oh for crying out..." one of the guards said. Then the covered dish on the cart rattled. "What the...?" He lifted the domed lid off to find a diminutive piebald colt hiding underneath. The colt sat up. "Are we in? Are we in yet? Oh blimey, guards!" He hopped off and bolted down the hall.

"Come back here, you!" One of the guards took off after him.

Up in the rafters, Gossamer was observing, and holding a hoof mirror up so the others could as well. Nyx was pleased with the results. Sweetie, Twist and Pip could do "fan-filly" and "fan-colt" better than anypony she knew. Well, other than Scootaloo when Rainbow Dash was involved. The first guard ran off down the hall after Pipsqueak, who was giving him one hell of a run for his money. The second guard wasn't going for the bait, though; he was staying right at his post by the door.

Apparently Sweetiebelle had a flash of inspiration. "Wait-- he's one of Prince Blueblood's personal guards!!" she squealed. She jumped up and, catching the guard completely by surprise, snatched his helmet right off his head. She threw it to Twist, who caught it neatly. "Prince Blueblood probably touched this! It'll sell for a fortune on eHay!"(8)

The two bolted off with their prize... turning left where Pip had turned right, the angry guard right behind them. Everyone in the hidey hole gave each other high-hooves. "Now for the outside guards," Nyx said.

The pegasi watching the windows and rooftops outside the Blueblood's quarters were enjoying a nice, dull, routine shift. That promptly got interrupted by the flash of a camera bulb. Every guards' eye tracked to it; hovering outside the Bluebloods' windows was a skinny pegasus kid (how did he get that close without being spotted??) with a camera nearly as big as himself. He was cheerfully snapping away like there was no tomorrow.

If the guards had their way, there wouldn't be. All six of them dropped off the roof and formed a circle around him, hovering with their spears raised. "Halt!" one shouted, making the colt nearly jump out of his skin. "All right, kid, you're coming with us. Drop the camera!"

Featherweight looked at them, astonished... then grinned. "Okay," he said, and dropped the expensive piece of photography equipment like it was nothing. It tumbled three stories down....

To land in the waiting arms of an orange pegasus on a scooter. She stuffed the camera into her backpack and rocketed off down the street, wings buzzing like mad.

The moment the guards turned their attention away from Featherweight, he shot skyward. Featherweight's talent was surprisingly multifaceted; he could hover as lightly and quietly as a moth on the wing. He was incredibly maneuverable, making deft twists and turns with a flick of his wings. He could also carry a surprising amount of weight into the air, despite his tiny frame-- in his hooves it was practically weightless. But once he dropped whatever load he was carrying, he was like an olympic sprinter who'd just stripped off all his training weights; he was a tiny, skinny pegasus arrow that almost nopony in his class could touch.

Nopony except maybe Scootaloo. Scootaloo had finally outgrown her handicap and was a fairly good flier, but even now she was an absolute demon on wheels. She was tearing off through the alleys of Canterlot like she had rockets under her tail.

Enraged-- and not a little flabbergasted-- the pegasus guards split up and took off after the two surprise speedsters in what would prove a futile chase.

From a nearby cloudtop Peewee hovered, a hoof mirror clutched in his claws, capturing everything in its reflection. On the other end, Spike called in the all-clear. The Brat Pack and the CMC, inside and out, emerged from their hiding places in bushes, trash cans, broom closets and potted plants and converged like a parasprite swarm on the Bluebloods' unprotected suite.

"Uh oh," Doubloon said. "We've got a problem."

"Where?" Nyx asked. Doubloon pointed to a hoof-written note at the bottom of the schedule.

"This here. It says that Prince Blueblood is cancelling all his appointments for the next couple of days. He's gonna be holed up in the suite until next week. We can't search the place with him still in it!"

Nyx's brow furrowed and her nose scrunched as she thought furiously. "We can if we're sneaky," she said. "And if we keep him busy..." She gave Doubloon a look. "There's something you might be able to do..." she said cautiously.

"I was wondering if there was anything I could contribute," Doubloon said, relieved. "What is it?"

Nyx rolled her eyes. "Well... I hear that Prince Blueblood is obsessed with mermaids..."

The baths in the Blueblood suite were on the same order of scale as the ones in Twilight's observatory tower or Celestia and Luna's own chambers. By design. Duke Blueblood, in another example of his incredible pettiness, insisted on making every amenity at his disposal-- whether in the castle, in his own mansion, on his sky yacht, or anywhere else-- match or outshine the princess' own, wherever possible, regardless of the expense. It was thus he had an entire room in the castle refurbished to house an enormous sunken bath that (he was certain) would outshine Celestia's own. It was also, alas, a reflection of his family's extraordinary lack of taste, with tackiness practically hammered into every gold-plated fixture and baroque decoration.

It was, on the other hand, quite spacious and luxurious enough. Since Prince Blueblood was in a state of self-enforced idleness and had finished off the last of his sundae, he had decided to avail himself of it by spending the entire day soaking in it. He had locked the door behind him, drawn an enormous bubble bath, put his mane up in curlers, and sank with a sigh of pleasure into the steaming water.

A blissful hour passed. Everything was perfect. Except... perhaps... maybe a massage, just to round things out. He availed himself of the bell-pull, summoning someone from the on-call castle staff. And waited. And waited. He gave the bell pull a frown. Was there something wrong with it?

There was, of course. Gossamer had unhooked it.

Prince Blueblood was pondering actually getting up to go fetch someone, when something surfaced at the other end of his bath. A freckled orange pony with a liquid gold mane shook the foam out of her eyes and looked at him. Her fluked tail arched over her back. "Boy, you ponies have huge bathtub drains," she said. She tossed her mane and fluttered her eyelashes at him. "Why hello."

Blueblood blinked. It was the third weirdest thing he'd found in the bathtub this week.(9)

Outside the bathroom, the CMC/Royal Brat coalition was searching through the suite as quickly as they could, frantically torn between the need to be quick, and the need to be quiet. They had found incredible amounts of tacky clothing, stacks of cancelled invitations, and in one of Duke Blueblood's closet a number of magazines of perturbing pedigree, but nothing of import-- and time was running out.

Nyx finally had a rush of logic to the brain and started looking for a study or office. She found it soon enough; a cramped, dark little room whose lock quickly yielded to her horn, filled mostly with a rolltop desk and stacks of papers and files. Square in the center of the desk was an expensive looking briefcase. She examined it; a tiny brass plaque read "property of HRM Duke Blueblood."

"Bingo," Nyx breathed, popping the latch.

For whatever reason, Duke Blueblood had failed to lock it. The lid sprang open, and inside were a number of very important looking papers indeed. Nyx magically flipped through them-- private notes from other nobles, maps, telegrams, and... astronomical charts? She started skimming through the letters and charts. There were a lot of footnotes and some very, very old runes.. and some very modern looking math. Much of it looked like the stuff Mom was working on herself. There was a note pinned to the chart; she read it carefully, squinting at the penmanship. They were reassuring Duke Blueblood about something called the Golden Sunrise, and that it would assure unicorn dominance for centuries to come...

She looked at the chart again and saw something that made her gasp. She didn't know what exactly it meant but it was enough to make fear crawl up around her heart.

In the diagram, the moon and sun were wreathed in flame.

Ironically, had they just left him alone, the CMC would have arrived and departed with Blueblood none the wiser...

In passing it must be said that certain sorts of innocence that have sadly long passed away from our own world still reside in the world of Equestria. Among these is a certain sort of justified naivete. a purity of heart that would not even entertain certain evils as a thought, much less a possibility. Prince Blueblood was a cad and a ponce, but by the standards of our wicked world he would be regarded almost as pure as the driven snow. Save for rude and uncouth behavior--- and maybe him being mean enough to eat a lollipop in front of them without sharing--- any foal in Equestria would be as safe in his presence as in their own mother's arms.

Of course this innocence of spirit was not limited to himself, and was in the end the CMC's own undoing. They were in the end children, and while romance was starting to catch their interest, some of the finer workings that motivated it were still a mystery to them...In short, when they asked Doubloon to occupy Prince Blueblood by flirting with him, it never occurred to any of them that he would have absolutely no interest in a filly young enough to be his daughter.

"Aww, but don't you want to talk to me? Get to know me better?" Doubloon said, looking over her shoulder and doing a terrible vamp.

Blueblood had abandoned the bath and donned his fuzzy robe. He stood at the side of the bath, his brows beetled under his curlers. "No," he said. "And stop that. You look ridiculous." He glared at her, then at her pet seal who had joined them a moment ago. "How the devil did you get--- no, never mind that. WHY the devil are you..." he had to pause to wonder whether he even cared to know that, either.

"Aww, I heard that there was a prince in the palace who dreamed of meeting a lovely young seapony filly," she mock-pouted.

" "Young mare," not "just out of diapers," " Blueblood said, patronizing annoyance in his voice. He pulled on the bellcord a half dozen more times. "And I do not appreciate having my bath disturbed by children and their pets!" he gave up on the bell cord and stomped for the door. "I'm calling the guards and I'm having you hauled back to King Triton's guest quarters---"

"GET HIM, SONG!" Doubloon shouted, pointing a hoof at the retreating Prince. The seal leaped into action. He jumped out of the bath and, half flippering, half belly-sliding on the tiles, went after Blueblood, orking and barking ferociously. Blueblood saw the sea beast coming and with a shriek like a filly began running around the bath, the angry seal hot on his heels.

Out in the main suite, the other children heard the ruckus. "Oh horseapples," Applebloom said. "We're out of time."

Nyx came running out of the study, the briefcase in her magical grip. "I found it, I found it!" she said. The others huddled around and looked into the briefcase. Most could make neither heads nor tails of it, but it looked sinister enough. "We gotta get this to the princess!" Spike said.

There was a series of loud bangs. The hinges and bolts on the locked bathroom door exploded. The door fell flat into the room, and standing behind it was a disheveled and angry looking Prince Blueblood. Behind him were a seapony and a selkie wrapped in cocoons of magically charged towels. He clapped eyes on the mob of foals, focused in on the briefcase... it took him a mere second to realize that oh gods and imps, his idiot father had brought incriminating evidence home with him. "Give me that briefcase!!" he roared.

"BAIL!" Spike yelled. Screaming, the mob of foals bolted for the door. Nyx slammed the case shut and ran after them, clutching it tight in her magic. She was yanked up short as Blueblood's magic lassoed her. For a brief terrifying moment she slid back towards the furious prince...

Then Spike stepped between them. He growled, flexed, and began growing. Blueblood "eeped" and his magic popped like a soap bubble. Behind him Songhili and Doubloon made their escape through the tub. Spike reached eight feet, ten-- then stopped, face contorting in agony as he clutched his gut, and shrank back to his normal size like a deflating balloon. Nyx grabbed him in her magic and ran for the door, dragonling brother and incriminating briefcase sailing after her. After a moment's shaking off his surprise, Blueblood gave pursuit.

Outside, Scootaloo, Rumble and Featherweight were still keeping the guards busy with a game of Camera Keepaway. They dodged through buildings and chimneys, wheelborne, airborne, tossing the camera back and forth, losing the guards for a moment only to have them catch up again... but they were flagging fast; three adolescent foals didn't have the stamina of trained soldiers, and more and more of the guards were joining in.

At the last second, just before they would have been snagged, Killdeer-Adder joined in the game. He swooped down on his skyboard, snatching the camera out of Scootaloo's arms and pulling an alley-oop between two buildings barely three feet apart. Instincts are instincts, and the pursuing guards immediately abandoned Scootaloo and Featherweight-- who promptly went to cover-- to pursue the bigger, larger, and more obvious target.

For the first time since arriving in Equestria, Killdeer-Adder were in their element. The high towers of Canterlot were embraced by the mountain winds, winds that curled and rose and swooped in a dance they'd had been reading by instinct since the first day they'd picked up a skyboard. The huge, leaf-shaped board--- in truth, more of a cloth sail one might find on a sailboard--- caught the currents and updrafts or cut through them as they pleased; they wove and sailed through the buildings and towers and up into the sky through vortexes the pegasi pursuing them could only power through by brute force. Adder whooped as he teased and weaved back and forth, throwing their weight one way and then the next, Killdeer working the board so they cut curls through the updrafts that would have left the gryphon girls back home swooning, they were flying circles around the sky-ponies, and they were barely flapping their wings!

Despite the situation, despite the growing number of guards closing in, despite how much incredibly gnarly trouble they were in, Killdeer grinned into the sun like a maniac and recited the skysurfer mantra.

"We are a leaf on the wind," he said. "Watch how we soar. Oh yeah."

The chase indoors was far less dramatic and far more brief. Blueblood could see the briefcase; he wasn't liable to be distracted by them splitting up. And in their panic the CMC was far less aware of their surroundings than he was. They merely pelted pell-mell down the hallways, hoping to be headed in the general direction of the Princesses, the Council, Miss Cheerilee, any benevolent authority figure at all.

Blueblood galloped along in pursuit, swearing silently to himself and fuming. He hated sweating. Hated it! And where were all the blasted GUARDS?

It ended soon enough, to Blueblood's relief. The mob of brats took a wrong turn and found themselves in a dead end. They crowded together, rumps to the wall, clutching the briefcase between them. Nyx hastily popped open the case and shoved it towards Spike. "Quick! Flame-mail it all! Hurry!"

Spike, still looking queasy from his botched growth, still managed to comply. He spit a gout of flame into the case. It flared, then snuffed out. Baffled, he tried again, with the same results. "It's not working!" he said, panicking.

"Of course not," Prince Blueblood said, magically yanking the case out of his grip. "Magic-proof paper."

"No..." Nyx said, clutching after the lost case. The expressions of despair on the foal's faces was eloquent.

Behind the Prince, a half dozen guards came galloping up. He looked over his shoulder at them scornfully. "Remind me to speak to your commanding officer," he said scathingly. He looked in the case and started shuffling papers to make sure nothing had been damaged, scanning the notes and diagrams for burns.

Then he froze, and started reading.

The transformation that overcame him was startling. His scornful expression melted like wax into one of horror and shock. His hind legs gave out, his hooves slipping out from under him. His rump hit the floor with a thump, his eyes never leaving the papers before him. "No," he said. "No, great Maker no. He's mad. They're all mad. Mad as hatters!"

The case fell to the floor. "Your Highness, what do you want us to do?" one of the guards asked.

Blueblood looked up. "Take me-- no, take all of us-- to the Princesses. Right now." he got to his feet. "We've got to save the world from my idiot father!"

1)grim fate awaited anypony on staff who revealed its existence.

2)He had vices, but he liked to vary them up as much as possible.

3)Actually he giggled a lot and rolled over in his sleep, but that was disturbing enough.

4)After the zap-apple potion powered corn shucker, Applejack found herself pining for the days when Applebloom was just partially destroying the neighborhood looking for her cutie mark...

5)Not automatically a full blown historic moment. But at least 3/5 on the Patton scale.

6)Cue your Mission Impossible soundtrack, kids.

7)In another timeline even Tirek had gone "d'aww" before draining her of her magic.

8)A mail-in bidding auction house franchise. You could find their storefront auction houses in most major cities.

9)Topped out only by a flock of live ducks and several thousand gallons of instant pudding. Mother really did have terrible employee relations skills.