The first of many innumerable meetings with the leaders of the Western nations was the next day. For all the pomp and ceremony everyone attempted to muster, it was something of an assembly line event-- the emissaries of the various nations would, one by one, troop forward to present their grievance, their petition for compensation from Equestria for damages, and then enumerate--- often extensively--- the damages incurred and the amount necessary to repay. Luna found herself reduced to repeating the rote response over and over again: "The nation of Equestria extends its sympathy to your people, and shall look into the matter forthwith." At which point the petition would be put in a dossier and handed off to a courier, who would run it off to yet another group of harried office workers who would, presumably, begin investigating the matter and trying to figure out just how much Equestria owed, and hopefully what compensation could be offered.

This left Luna a great deal of time to contemplate just how much, in cold hard bits, Equestria was left owing. Some few thousand years of stashing bits away for a rainy day (1) had left Celestia and Luna pretty flush. It would utterly demoralize some ponies if they ever found out how often the Princesses had patched up rough spots in the national finances by dipping into the Princess' personal piggy bank. Still, A few centuries of wise, stable fiscal policy(2) had resulted in a thriving nation with a robust economy.

One that would be stripped to the walls if they tried to honor even a fraction of these alleged debts. There were dozens of nations great and small with a bone to pick here. No one nation, no matter how wealthy and powerful, could possibly pay reparations to dozens of others.

Luna sighed and rubbed her head. It wasn't readily visible but she had a pretty sizeable bump on her head, just below her horn. The gryphon cub had been right about that hazard on the fourth turn...

It was a momentary lull; she had dismissed the court for an hour so that everyone present could at least get some lunch and a break from the stifling monotony.  She was brooding over her lunch of cucumber sandwiches when there was a frantic hammering at the vaulted double doors to the throne room. "Who seeks entry?" she demanded, annoyed. Third darn time something had interrupted her lunch---

The doors burst open and in came the son of the Gryphon Emperor, Killdeer-Adder. He ran straight up the red carpet at the throne, his face a mask of terror. The guards stepped in to block his path, spears crossed, but this was a royal gryphon, and even a gangly adolescent outmassed a full grown stallion. He bowled them right over without even pausing.

"Sanctuary, Sanctuary!" he squawked, and dove under the Equestrian throne. This was not exactly an appropriate fit, as there was less than a foot of space underneath. Luna found herself seated upon a throne that was now teetering atop an adolescent gryphon's back. "What is the meaning of this??" she yelped, scuffling to keep her balance.

A serpent's head rose from under the throne. It had the most extraordinary expression of distress on its face. "Your Highness, I know that he seems to be in histrionics," Adder said rapidly, "but allow me to assure you that we are in most desperate need of sanctuary."

"From whom?" Luna asked, flummoxed.

"From our family!" Killdeer bawled.

Wordlessly, Adder retreated below the throne and reappeared clutching a newspaper in his mouth. Luna recognized it as one of the lurid "tabloids" that flooded the market these days. She took it in her magical grasp and unfolded it. What she saw on the front page made her jaw drop in disbelief.

The guards around the room saw her reaction and braced themselves for the Canterlot Royal Voice to be raised in upset. But what happened next made them seriously begin to sweat: the Princess of the Night turned to her two majordomos, spoke in a quiet, controlled voice and said;

"Circumstance, attend me. Pomp, go hither and fetch my sister..." she looked down at the page and rethought. "And Twilight... and Nyx.... and....everypony else. This is going to be...awkward."

Nyx knew something was up the moment the chariot touched down at the school. Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon were already there, way before anyone else-- and she and Spike had left extra early that morning. They were loitering out on the front stoop, in the conspicuous manner that only spoiled little prima donnas manage to pull off. They were holding a copy of the foal free press between them and snickering to each other in the most attention getting manner they could pull off.

Spike glared at them and snorted. "Oh boy, the Prissy Pair are at it again," he said, putting his hands on his hips. "This oughta be good..."

With an odd mix of curiosity and dread, Nyx waved goodbye to Sundiver and Lightning Blitz and trotted over to the schoolhouse with Spike. Silver Spoon and Diamond Tiara shot a look at her over their newspaper and exploded into giggles. "Oh, look who's here," Diamond Tiara drawled. "Her Royal Highness has deigned to join us." The two sniggered and made a big show of bowing to her.

Nyx scowled. "What are you doing?" Nyx said, starting to pout a little at the unwanted theatrics.

"Oh your Highness," Diamond Tiara said, waving a hoof. "We just wanted to congratulate you on getting on the front cover of the newspaper again. Seeing how you like doing that and rubbing ponies' noses in it." Her last words had a touch of acid in them; the incident with the Trans-Equestria Chronicle still made her seethe.

"What are you talking about?" Nyx demanded, scowling more.

Diamond Tiara held the paper up under Nyx's nose with a flourish.

Silver Spoon looked up from her bow. "Boy," she leered, "Are you gonna get it."

Nyx's jaw dropped.

ROYAL BRAT:

Daughter of new Princess Goes on Debauched Party Binge

Royal quarters trashed, castle staff in tears

Right below was a blown up, full color picture of Nyx, Spike and the Royal Children, caught in what looked like the middle of a massive popcorn fight. Popcorn, cups and bowls were flying everywhere;  It really did look like they were taking the place apart at the seams.  There was tons of writing below and all sorts of thing in bold font and exclamation points, but she didn't read them. She scanned down the pictures; all of them showed her and the partygoers, catching them in ridiculous poses, looking like they were doing something crazy or stupid or naughty....

"That's not what happened!" Nyx protested, but even as she said it she knew it was hopeless. There the proof was, in print and living color. She pranced in a circle in panic. A newspaper scandal. Celestia and Luna were going to be furious. Mom was going to freak!

Spike reached past her and snatched the paper out of the air. His eyebrows climbed up his scaly head as he read. "..hedonism...imbibing.... depravity.... pubescent debauchery.... the hay?"

"I didn't do any of that!" Nyx cried, doing a frantic hoofy dance. "I don't even know what those words mean!" She cast about frantically. She had arrived at school early; only Silver Spoon and Diamond Tiara were there sooner. She could see the rest of the class coming up the road though. Several of them were clustered together around a newspaper--- Applebloom, Sweetiebelle, Scootaloo, Twist, oh no, no no no, Rumble.

They looked up and saw her. "Nyx!" Scootaloo called out. They broke into a gallop, running straight for her.

Nyx just couldn't face them. She couldn't. She turned and bolted, Diamond Tiara's cackling laughter ringing in her ears.

Earth pony stamina stood her in good stead; she tore round a couple of corners at breakneck speed and would have lost them if she hadn't turned down a dead-end alley by mistake. She saw the wooden fence at the other end and remembered, at the last moment, that she had wings. She took to the air and flapped for all she was worth, already six feet in the air by the time she reached the end of the alley.

Unfortunately the fence was eight feet high.

She hit the fence with a resounding THWACK, flattening full length against the boards. She stuck there for a moment, then fell away, landing hard on the ground below. She started to groan an climb back to her hooves, but she was suddenly tackled by three shouting fillies. Applebloom, Scootaloo and Sweetiebelle dogpiled her, flattening her to the ground again.

"WE DIDN'T DO IT!" they yelled in unison.

"Argh," Nyx said, humiliation turning to bafflement "Didn't do what??"

No answer was forthcoming. At that moment two pegasus colts, Featherweight and Rumble, came fluttering down from the sky. Spike was hanging between them, dangling by his claws from their hooves. "Thanks for the lift, guys," he said.

"No problem," Featherweight said. "I just had to know what all the running and yelling was about."

"Call it a hunch but it probably has something to do with the front page of the paper," Spike said, furrowing his brow at Featherweight. "You wouldn't have anything to tell us all, would ya?"

"Aw hey, c'mon--" Featherweight protested.

"What is everypony talking about?" Nyx said.

"I thought it was all about this," Rumble said, holding up his copy of the paper.

Nyx looked at Rumble, face flaming. "T-Those things in the paper, it wasn't like that--!"

Applebloom waved her hooves. "Wait, wait, wait," she said. We can explain all this..."

"You sure as shootin' will, missy," Somepony said. Everyone turned and looked; Applejack, Rarity and Rainbow Dash were all standing at the mouth of the alley, accompanied by Nyx's guards. Nyx gulped; Sundiver and Lightning Blitz were looking all professional and impassive. But the three Bearers were looking-- Nyx had read the phrase in a book once and hadn't gotten quite what it meant till now-- bloody furious.

Rarity huffed and glared at Sweetiebelle. "And after all this time, I thought you learned your lesson, Sweetiebelle," she said. "Well, we're all going right to the castle to straighten this out!" She turned to the guards. "I trust there's enough room on the chariot for all of us, sirs?"

"Yeah, you're coming with me too, squirt," Rainbow Dash scowled at Scootaloo. "Your folks can't deal with this right now. You three are in big trouble."

"And that goes double for you, Applebloom," Applejack said.

Applebloom started to splutter. "But we--"

"--DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!!" Applebloom hollered.

Not that anyone in the royal suite was listening. It had gotten decidedly crowded in Twilight's library tower. Twilight and Ink Spot had gathered everyone most involved in the "scandal" to try and wrangle things out. Nyx, Spike and Bright Eyes were there, along with the Cutie Mark Crusaders (original edition) and all the Royal Brats, as the group had come to be unofficially known. The Element Bearers were there as well, largely in the form of two angry older sisters and one angry sibling stand in. In the rush to get everypony back to the castle Rumble and Featherweight had been swept up in the tumult and dragged along as well. Everypony was clumping up in groups trying to figure out exactly what had happened, and everypony was talking at once.

Killdeer-Adder was over in a corner trying to convince himself that he could emigrate to Equestria. "I could learn to be a pony," Killdeer insisted. "It'd be better than facing Pop and Grandpop after this."

"Worth spending our life eating hay?" Adder asked.

"I could learn," Killdeer said meekly.

Songhili was sitting over in a corner, looking quiet and troubled.. Po the ki-rin was sitting beside him, bemused. He was far out of his depth and suspected that the selkie was feeling the same. They spoke together in quiet murmurs. Doubloon was looking fretful. Her parents were middle-of-the-pond nobility and diplomats, with far less clout than the others; a scandal could hurt them far worse than the others. Gossamer on the other hand was having a ball. She was flipping through her own copy of the paper and shrieking in laughter. Flutterponies, to judge by her reactions, didn't give two toots about "big pony" politics.

The adults in the room were looking either distressed, angry, confused or a mix of all three. There were some raised voices, but Twilight begged them to wait until Celestia got there to sort things out.

The Ponyville foals were all gathered on one of the sofas. They were doing their best to untangle what had happened, and sad to say were making far more headway than the grownups. "We didn't write the stories," Sweetiebelle was saying. "We didn't have anything to do with it, we swear!" She pulled the rolled-up paper out of her saddlebag and held it up. "It wasn't us this time!" she held up the paper.

"This time?" Nyx asked, squinting.

"Wait, wait, wait," Applebloom said. She facehoofed. "Girls, she don't know about Gabby Gums."

"Gabby Gums???" Nyx repeated. This was getting more confusing as it went.

Scootaloo and Sweetiebelle sat back.  "It happened before you, um, well before you," Scootaloo said. "We got roped into reporting stories---"

"Blackmailed, actually," Applebloom deadpanned.

"---for the Foal Free Press."Scootaloo grimaced. "We called ourselves 'Gabby Gums.' Diamond Tiara kept pushing us to make up stories about ponies... everypony loved them."

"Except for the ponies they were about." Sweetiebelle clarified. "We ended up having to apologize to the whole town. It was awful." She pressed her hooves to her mouth.

"Even th' Foal Free Press is runnin' the story," Applebloom said. "We were scared the minute you saw it, you'd think we were the ones who did it."

"A lotta colts and fillies have already started asking if Gabby Gums made a comeback," Scootaloo growled.

"When you saw us and ran off, we thought you thought it was us, too," Sweetiebelle said, hurt in her eyes.

Nyx blushed and hunched her head down between her shoulders. "When I saw you with the paper, I thought that you thought the story was true," she said in a small voice.

"Aw c'mon, of course not!" Scootaloo said. "We were at the party, remember?" She noogied Nyx with a free hoof. "Geez, ker-duh."

"And even if we weren't, we still wouldn't believe it," Applebloom said stoutly. "It's the most ridiculous buncha horsefeathers we ever done seen."

"Abtholutely," Twist said.

Nyx sighed in relief and gave them all a hug. "You guys are the best," she said. "Thank you."

They held that tableau for just a moment.  Fortunately before the teasing could rev up, Twilight decided to get things organized.

"Could I have everypony's attention please?" she called out over the din. The crowd quieted. " I know everypony is upset right now, but we will sort this out. As soon as Princess Celestia arrives we..."

"No need to delay on my behalf, Twilight dear." Princess Celestia and Luna strode into the room. Every being present quickly bowed, but Celestia waved them off. "Enough of that, my little ponies... and others," she said. "This is a bit less formal occasion, I think."

"Certes, sister," Luna. "What a hugger-mugger mess."

"I've had to deal with gossips and muckrakers for many centuries. This is nothing new to me. But...do continue, Twilight," Celestia urged. She and Luna took seats on hastily-summoned lounging cushions, observing.

Twilight nodded, and took a deep breath. "Okay, It looks like somepony-- or ponies-- has set out to stir up a gossip scandal on the Royal... er... children," she said. "It's patently ridiculous, of course-- The slumber party here and in Ponyville was supervised the entire time-- "    

"Durn tootin'!" Pinkie Pie said.

"So we have to get some answers to some questions." She held up (naturally) a written checklist, hovering it in front of her as she read aloud. "One: where those pictures came from. Two: who gave them to the newspapers. Three: why. And four.... um... how to straighten this out."

"So first question first: where those pictures came from..."

"Ah'm suspecting certain someponies got ahold of the pictures and decided to make hay with 'em." Applejack shot a withering look at her younger sister. She got a blistering glare of defiance in return.

"Ah tole you we didn't DO anything!" the younger Apple shouted back.

"Well we're hardly to be blamed if you're the first suspects," Rarity said loftily. "Considering you girls' past record... you were at the party, you had the opportunity...."

"Past record?" Celestia said. "Care to explain?" Something in her eye hinted to Nyx that she already knew, somehow.

"The... Gabby Gums incident," Twilight said. "You remember the Friendship report... these three started writing a gossip column and--"

Celestia gave a silent 'ah' and nodded. "Yes, I do remember," she said. Her expression turned wry. "I also remember your less than mature handling of the situation."

Twilight stuttered. "I.. bwa?"

"Oh, I'm including the rest of you as well," Celestia said casually, glancing first at Rainbow Dash, then at Applejack and finally resting her eyes on Rarity. "Really girls-- hiding behind a force field? Giving them the silent treatment? Dumping rain on them?" The guilty parties lowered their hat brims, scrunched their noses, or hunched their shoulders as was their wont. Celestia sighed. "It's only pony nature, I suppose, to be a bit hypocritical about the issue of gossip--"

"Hypocritical??" Rarity blurted out. "Those three published humiliating, distorted rumors about us in that newspaper!"

Celestia gave her a knowing Mona Lisa-esque smile. "And were they buying all those papers themselves, hmmmm?" she asked. "From what I understand, all of you were buying up that paper just for that column. You couldn't get enough of it--you lapped it up eagerly. And I would wager a considerable sum you were the worst of the lot, Rarity."

Rarity flushed and cleared her throat. "And... you know that because?"

"Because Twilight's not the only one around here who writes to the Princess regularly," Spike snorted, buffing his claws on his chest and examining them. Rarity turned redder and shot him a glare that promised many cold shoulders in the future.

"These three fillies did something wrong, writing gossip about ponies in the paper," Celestia continued. "But they were only writing exactly what all the adults in Ponyville, yourselves included, wanted from them. You punished them for being gossips, when it was you that PAID them to do just that." The adults in question winced as the truth struck home. "It's foolish to spend all your anger on ponies who rake up gossip, without holding accountable those who are in the market for it."

"It wathnt really their fault anyway," Twist said. "They were being forthed to write Gabby Gums."

"How?" Nyx queried. "Miss Cheerilee would never do that!"

The trio turned red. "It wasn't Miss Cheerilee. Y'see, there were, um, pictures of us..." Scootaloo began. "If we didn't come up with a column for Gabby Gums... then those pictures were gonna end up in the Foal Free Press instead."

"Ironyyyyy," Spike intoned.

"You were being blackmailed?" Twilight Sparkle exclaimed.

"Who was blackmailing-- oh wait, let me guess," Nyx said, disgusted.

Every Ponyville native in the room said it at the same time. "Diamond Tiara."

Twilight pressed a hoof to her forehead. "What the buck is wrong with Ponyville, I swear..."

"We're sorry about that," Applebloom said suddenly. She blushed as she realized she'd interrupted royalty. "A-about the picture of you in the paper, I mean. Yer Highness." This to Celestia.

Luna snorted and chuckled. "Oh, alas, the populace hath learned their Sun Princess doth eat cake like a hog," she said, sticking her tongue out in her sister's direction. "What deep hideous secrets of state shall be revealed next?"

Celestia gave Luna a look that was half amused, half annoyed. "I may eat like a hog but at least I don't snore like one," she said.

Luna gawped. "Tis a lie!"

"I have witnesses," Celestia said. "And audio recordings."

Luna scrunched her nose. "touche', " she said.

Celestia smiled. "Now where was--"

"---Cake Butt."

Celestia harrumphed while the foals giggled. More than one grownup present had to smother a snicker or two as well. "As I was saying," she enunciated carefully. "I'm sure these three learned their lesson."

"Yeah," Scootaloo snarked. "Don't leave anything in writing."

"Not quite the lesson I was shooting for, my little filly," Celestia said. It was hard to tell whether she was aggrieved or amused.

"It's okay your Highness, we did learn our lesson," Sweetiebelle said meekly. "Don't write gossip about other ponies..."

"Well at least they learned that much," Rarity said.

Sweetiebelle glowered at her. "... go out and gossip in person like my sister does, instead," she finished sarcastically.

"I do not--! I... do not gossip that much," Rarity said weakly.

"Um..." Fluttershy said faintly. She looked all kinds of guilty for saying. "I'm afraid you do, Rarity..."

"They got ya there, Rares," Applejack said. "Those three coulda left a tape recorder under your chair at the spa and had enough Gabby Gums stories for the next twenty years."

Rarity said nothing; she stood there with her muzzle scrunched up, doing her best impersonation of a tomato. She finally let out a puff of air in defeat. " Oh very well," she muttered. She went over to where her sister sat. "I'm sorry, Sweetiebelle," she said humbly. "Before I got all righteously indignant at you, maybe I should have checked my own self over first. Do you forgive me?" Sweetiebelle nodded happily and gave Rarity a quick hug.

"That goes for me too, little sis," Applejack said, mussing Applebloom's mane.

"Yyyeah. I... guess I kind of overreacted, Squirt." Rainbow Dash said, rubbing the back of one leg with the hoof of the other. "We good?"

Scootaloo grinned. "We're good, Rainbow Dash. And we promise, we never wrote another story for Gabby Gums."

"Ponies, we're getting off-track," Twilight Sparkle said.

Sea Foam tottered forward, guilt and shame on her face. "They were mine," she blurted out. "It had to have been me. Don't you remember, your Highness? I was taking pictures all night with my little instant camera." Tears started welling up in her eyes and she pressed her hoof to her mouth. "I had no idea anypony would--"

"You didn't give them to the papers, did you?"

"No, of course not!" Sea Foam waved away the very idea, shaking her head in vehemence. "I was taking them for the Princess' scrapbook. " she shook her head.

Twilight shook her head. "No, wait, I remember: I... I left them piled up on my desk. I remember, I couldn't find a bunch of them after I threw away a bunch of papers-- I must have dropped them in the trash by mistake...' she facehoofed. "The trash pony hauls our stuff straight to the incinerator, but any passing pony could have seen those pictures on the trash basket, or piled up in the furnace room..."

"But these," Sea Foam, pointed at the newspaper, now lying on the floor. "None of these look like pictures I took--"

There was a loud snort from the Ponyville foal's corner of the room. "Nopony took these pictures," said a voice from behind yet another newspaper.

"Beg pardon, young colt?" Ink Spot said.

The paper folded down, revealing Featherweight. "They're fakes. Someone retouched them all. Some of 'em are even magically spliced together from other pictures." He held up the paper and pointed with a hoof. "See? you can see the edge marks here and here, and the shadows don't look right here, either... they're faked. Or just cropped to make things look worse than they are," Featherweight amended. "It's easy to do." He rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. "I.. ah... figured that out pretty quick when I started doing photography."

Ink Spot took the paper and looked closer. "Ohhh yes, this looks like some of Flash Photo's work," he said.

"Flash who?" Twilight said, sidling over to look.

"Flash Photo. He doesn't do much camera work himself, but he's a whiz at retouching photos-- taking out pimples and blemishes, removing ponies from background scenes or adding them, removing obstructions from the foreground, that sort of thing. That tiny little pixy," he pointed to a miniscule winged silhouette half-hidden in a sunbeam sparkle, "that's sort of his trademark. He has his own shop where he takes in tons of retouch work. The publishing company I work for hires him sometimes."

"You're certain it's him?" Twilight asked.

Ink Spot nodded confidently. "These look like they've been to Photo's shop," he said. "I can tell by the pixies, and from seeing quite a few things from his shop in my time."(3) He looked over at Nyx. "Relax, kid, you're in the clear. The pics are all fake." Nyx sighed silently in relief. Even with everything that had been said, it was a relief to hear it.

"Except for  one or two. Like this one," Featherweight said. His hoof one particular picture. The most mortifying one. It was of her sleeping side by side with Songhili, the selkie pup. She was draped all over the selkie pup like a creeper vine around a tree trunk, her nose buried in his neck, drooling. It looked like they'd been caught snogging. And he was winking at the camera.

"Um," Rumble said awkwardly, "Is this guy....?"

Nyx squawked and proceeded to try and bury herself in the sofa cushions.

"I'm pretty sure that the lipstick stain is fake, though," Featherweight amended, distracted.

"I don't even wear lipstick!" Nyx's muffled scream came from under the cushions.

"Oh well, there you go..."

Rumble cleared his throat anxiously. "Um... so does that mean there's nothing between you and...?" he jerked his head in the direction of Songhili.

Nyx 's head popped out from the cushions. She faced him, her face flaming. "What? NO! It was--- we were just sleeping! It was a sleepover! That's all... and..."

"And she's a gropey hugger when she's asleep," Spike chipped in.

Nyx blushed even harder. "SPIKE!" she hissed.

"Oh, well... um... good." Rumble shuffled his hooves.

Sweetiebelle let out a little squeal. "Oooo, is Rumble jealous?" Now it was Rumble's turn to blush.

Songhili waddled over and addressed the pile of cushions. All that could be seen of Nyx was her tail. "I am terribly sorry for your embarrassment, Princess Nyx," he said, sincerely abashed. "I should probably not have mugged for the camera like that. Even if you are cuddly while you sleep."

"Argh," said the sofa cushions.

"Shyeah, she's not the only one with a bad camera moment," Killdeer said dismally. He poked at a picture in the paper he was holding; it showed him unconscious, his rump up on the couch with a stack of cups balanced on his tail, his face on the floor in a spilled bowl of popcorn. The photograph made him look like he was smashed out of his mind.

"No, that's just you sleeping," Doubloon giggled. "I remember; you dozed off and fell off the couch. Gossamer and I had a contest stacking things on top of you."

Gossamer pouted. "Yeah, Cherry Blossom stopped us before we could get to the makeup."

"And that big photo up top, that's when Adder scared the horseshoes off Nyx... well, with a lot of editing added," Sweetiebelle said.

For a few minutes everypony got lost in figuring out where the heavily doctored images had originally come from. Twilight finally got impatient. "Ponies, ponies," she said, tapping her hooves. "Focus. The next step is to find out who hired this Flash Photo to 'shop' these pictures..."

"We shall launch an inquisition immediately," Luna said, stamping her hoof firmly. "And imprison those responsible!"

"And lend credibility to the gossip?" Celestia said. "Besides, they were careful, Luna. Citing 'anonymous sources,' saying the photos were 'artist's renditions,' covering their sneaky little plots with weasel words and legalese." She wrinkled her nose. "The price of having a free press is like the price of having a puppy in the house-- sometimes it will decide to widdle on your bedroom slippers when you aren't expecting it." The foals giggled again.

"We can inquire, discreetly, at Flash Photo's place of business," Celestia sighed. "Though I suspect our perpetrator had several middle-ponies to handle the transaction. But already I can guess who was responsible."

"Who?" Twilight said.

"The Bluebloods," Celestia said grimly. She then said a most unPrincessly swear word.

There was a sharp intake of breath all over the room. "Princess Ce-LES-tia!" Nyx gasped.

Celestia's cheek didn't even turn pink. "Forgive me, my little ponies," she said. "But Duke Blueblood has been a thorn in my side for decades. He is conceited, bigoted, petty and cruel, and constantly, constantly plotting and conniving." She got up and started pacing, her tail switching angrily. "I find myself dedicating half my courtly plans to out-maneuvering him, to spare some poor innocent from his petty vengeances.... your 'betrothal' to his lout of a son being just one example," she said in an aside to Twilight. "Nine times out of ten I manage to thwart him, but that tenth time..."

"The worst part of it all is that I suspect his petty outrages are all a cat's paw," she went on. "I have reason to believe he is aligned with certain unicorn families who wish to see the Canterlot throne returned to unicorn control. He is the most obvious about this sentiment, but he associates with other, far more cunning nobles who could be using his shenanigans as a smoke screen, to conceal their more subtle plans."

"Plans," Songhili slowly, "such as sending unofficial diplomats to the Kingdoms of the Western Sea, to plant the idea of reparations in their ears?"

Every eye and ear was suddenly riveted on the pudgy little selkie. "Of course," Luna said. Then she let out a swear word herself. "That cunning viper..."

"Do you have proof of this?" Celestia demanded. "Did you see ponies consulting with the king of the Selkies?"

Songhili demurred. "Not... as such," he said. "But some few months after the calamities, I noticed an increase in trade ships from the kingdom of Equestria. In particular from the Compass Rose company..."

"Which Blueblood doth own and control," Luna noted dourly.

"And shortly thereafter, murmuring in the street began to rise. First about ponies exploiting our distressed situation, then about ponies being responsible for them... and from there to petitions to the King, demanding we seek restitution from the Princesses of the Sun and Moon for our difficulties." He shrugged. "Silliness. Our island was little more than mud and grass huts, made for the convenience of dealing with those who must always dwell on land. But convince a selkie that a debt is owed him..."

Doubloon, who was lounging at the edge of the bathing pool, squeaked and slapped the water with her tail in startlement. "I remember something like that, too," she said. "We get almost no trade with Equestria, the next thing my father knows is a couple of pony cargo ships are in our waters asking for trade visas... and soon, seaponies are grumbling..."

"Hey yeah, there were a few more airships passing through afterward, now that I think about it," Killdeer said, snapping his claws. "Lotta different companies, but a couple were from Compass Rose. I oughta know--- I was skysurfing and did a gnarly wipeout on one." He mimed splatting himself out against the side of a sky freighter. "Next thing I know, Pop and Grandpop are grumbling about 'getting their own back from the ponies.' I figured it was just them getting griped because ponies were exploiting our troubles to rake in some bits. Uh, no offense," he added.

Applejack scowled. "You mean to tell me that this whole rumbunctiousness with the reparations and the diplomats and this Celestial Council what for are because some low down conniver went out to the Western Sea and beat every hornet's nest he could find with a stick?"

Luna nodded. "Once enough kingdoms were stirred into unrest, the Celestial Council would have taken note, and been even more motivated to assemble."

To everyone's surprise Po spoke up. "Forgive me for speaking out of turn," he said, "But could this not be opportunism and coincidence, rather than conspiracy? As Master Zeng He taught me, 'Would you expect a merchant to travel a thousand miles to sell his goods for the same price as home?' And the people always grumble when prices rise-- even when there is just cause for it."

"Truth," Celestia said simply. "And that would be part of the plan to cover their tracks. After all, it's only sensible business-- and ponitarian aid-- for the Bluebloods and their friends to send out extra trade vessels when disasters strike." Celestia ground her teeth.

"It's as plain as the nose on your face what has happened... but proving it is a tangled mess we may never unsnarl, and would be too ruinous and consuming an effort to even try now. We simply have no solid proof that the Bluebloods or their associates are conspiring against the throne."

Beneath a pile of sofa cushions, a pair of slit-pupiled, turquoise eyes narrowed dangerously.

Yet, Nyx thought.

1)And beating up dragons for their lunch money

2)Which largely consisted of Celestia and Luna getting the politicians to bloody well leave it alone

3)Aw heck with you all, that was FUNNY.