"Hey guys," Pinkie says when you enter the kitchen, "get what you needed taken care of?"

"We're about to find out."

You and Rarity sit at the table, looking pleasant and calm. No sense in getting overexcited right away if she decides to say no to your offer. Expect the best, prepare for the worst.

"Pinkie, dear, how would you like to come out with us tonight on our date?"

She blinks. "Oh you guys, stop kidding around! Tonight's your night. I'd just be in the way," she chuckles nervously.

"Nonsense! It's not like this is going to be the first date we've ever gone on! Come with us, it'll be fun! If nothing else, maybe we can help take your mind off of Joe for a little while. Who knows, you may bump into somepony else that catches your eye," Rarity says with a wink.

"Yeah, it's all good," you add. "Seriously, what bad could come of it?"

Almost instantly, you regret saying those words. Phrases like that always seemed to be cursed or something in the movies or on TV. Hopefully it'll be different here. Equestria did seem to be a little more, well, positive as far as the way of life went than on Earth.

"Well...alright, why not?" the party pony acquiesces with a bounce. "I'll chip in though. I don't want to feel like I'm taking advantage."

"Think nothing of it, dearie! You'll be our guest, so we've got you covered." Rarity thoughtfully puts a hoof to her chin as she goes over what she has planned for the day. "Now, Chez Le Grande is an upper-class restaurant, so you'll need to wear formal attire. Your gala dress should do, if you want to run home and get it. We're also going to see a play in a little while that a Canterlot theater group is putting on at the park in the east end of town not far from the restaurant, that's in about an hour."

You groan audibly at the mention of the play. Not once in your entire adult life – or any other part of it, for that matter – have you had a single bit of interest in theater of any kind. Unless you're talking about a good action flick.

Before you could even finish voicing your complaint, you feel the weight of a pair of annoyed eyes drilling into you. "Hon, you know that dinner is for you, but there's nothing that says we can't do something that I enjoy too. Not that I'm not going to like eating at that exquisite place of course, but you know what I mean. I've been wanting to see 'Shakespony in the Park' for a while now, and I'm not going to miss out on it the only time it comes to town for who knows how long."

"Don't you need tickets to get in?" Pinkie asks.

"You pay for admission at the gate, and there should be plenty of room. There aren't as many refined, cultured ponies here as there are in Canterlot, so seating shouldn't be a problem," she adds with a twirl of her neck, slinging her mane and fluffing it dramatically. "It wouldn't hurt to dress the part as well, and since we'll be putting on our Sunday best for Chez Le Grande, we'll already look spectacular, so it all works out! I should bring a couple of parasols though. The last thing we need is to start sweating under that midday sun and ruin our attire."

"Not to mention smell blechhh!" the silly pink mare blurts out, hanging her tongue out for unneeded emphasis. "Did you have anything planned after dinner?"

"As a matter of fact, I had Twilight write to Princess Luna last week and asked if she could do me favor tonight. Thanks to her, it's going to be nice and clear for the beautiful show she's going to put on for us. I was thinking we could head to that stargazing hill where we saw that shower of shooting stars some time ago and just take it all in."

"That actually sounds kind of nice," you comment. "I guess personally knowing royalty can have its perks."

"It most certainly does, but we can't stay out terribly late tonight, if that's alright. I was hoping to get to bed at a somewhat reasonable hour tonight because I'm a little behind on an important client's order and was hoping to work on it most of the day tomorrow despite it being a Saturday. We do have that cake to nibble on before we call it a night too," the unicorn mentions, nodding at the freezer.

"'Somewhat reasonable' meaning before one in the morning?" you coyly smirk, implying what you expect to happen after the date was over. Something tells you that you'll have enough in you to make sure she gets a good night's sleep anyway, but it wasn't very often where you didn't take the opportunity to flirt with and tease the unicorn.

"Heh, yes dear," she retorts with a subtle glare. You've poked fun at her enough times for her to spot the jokes and what they meant. That still didn't excuse any talk of intimacy, implied or explicit, according to Rarity.

"Hm, that all does sound like a lot of fun. Alright, I'll run back home and get my dress! Want me to bring anything else? A few extra bits for my entrance fee or something?"

Rarity shakes her head. "That's alright, Pinkie. Like I said, we've got you covered. I'll bring a blanket for the grass tonight too. Wouldn't want to stain our garments, and they likely have a doorpony at the restaurant who will hold onto our bags for us when we arrive." Your girlfriend turns to you and continues, "I'm sure you know that you'll have to wear that nice suit I made for you just for occasions such as this one."

"Mhm."

"Also Pinkie, you understand the places we'll be visiting are rather high class. The ponies there, err, may not quite appreciate your...wild side as much as the rest of us," she mutters sheepishly.

"I get what you're saying. I'll be as cool as a cucumber, as quiet as a mouse, as silenced as a lamb, as–"

"Wait, what?" you quickly ask.

"Huh?"

"...Never mind."

You shake your head, knowing that it's foolish to question what she does and says anymore. Really, really foolish.

"Uhh, yes. Thank you, Pinkie Pie," Rarity cuts in. "You had best head back to Sugarcube Corner and get ready."

Pinkie waves goodbye as she starts heading toward the back door. "Okie dokie lokie! See you in about twenty minutes or so!"

Once the door closes, you feel a gentle, magical tug on your collar, marching you back upstairs. "Come sweetie, we need to get ready."

You step out from your short shower and grab a towel. Usually, you take one in the morning to get your day started, but you were feeling a little lazy today. Quickly drying off, you toss the towel into a small hamper sitting in the corner. After a comb of your hair and a spritz of cologne, you step into the hallway toward a fresh change of clothes. In the bedroom closet waits the sleek black tuxedo Rarity generously made for you a few months ago when you went on your first official romantic date.

Walking the few paces down the hall, the chatter downstairs grabs your attention for a second before going into the bedroom. While it would normally take Rarity most of an hour to prepare for a night out, she was on a timetable and proved she could be set to go in only a few minutes if need be. You'll have to make sure to tease her about that at an inevitable future date.

Opening the closet door, you gaze down the unnecessarily long row of things Rarity decided to create for you soon after you first came to Equestria. Judging by its size, it's easily two or three times as much clothing as you had back home. You couldn't blame the fashion designer for going a little overboard though. She was putting together an ensemble for an entirely different species, so of course she was going to love working on them.

At the far left end was a set of tie hooks, seven ties hanging from them. A few jackets and pants away from that was the suit Rarity was referring to earlier. You take it from its rack and look over the ties, deciding on a glossy navy blue one. Satisfied with your choice, you grab your specially-made, black designer shoes and head over to the full-body mirror in the corner of the room to suit up, shutting the closet door behind you.

Downstairs, Pinkie and Rarity were chatting about their mornings in the lobby as they waited patiently for you to finish getting ready. Hearing your footsteps on the last few stairs takes their attention away from each other, and you step into view, confident and poised, a proud smirk on your cheeks.

"Hubba, hubba!" Pinkie fawns, fanning herself.

"Hubba, hubba indeed!"

You grab onto the jacket's long collar and give it a dramatic, movie-style tug. "You know what the main difference is between the stallions in town and me?"

"They have four legs and you only have two?" the pink pony asks.

"Err, no. Well, I guess that's true, but–"

"You don't have a tail?"

"That's not what I'm getting at."

"They enjoy the taste of hay and flowers and grass and apples and...well, I guess you like apples too, but–"

"Pinkie!"

"What is it then?"

Resisting the urge to facepalm, you fold your arms proudly and hold your head high, oozing machismo as best you can in spite of the nutty mare's ridiculous questions.

"I make this look good."

"Twelve bits, please," the cashier at the park requests, happily giving you three tickets for your purchase. "Thank you! Enjoy the show!"

Once among the festivities and merchandise stands, the three of you take in a few sights, foregoing grabbing a snack so as not to spoil dinner, and make your way to the grandstand area. You do stop to get a soda to fight the heat though. Once there, drink in hand, you select some seats toward the back and near the aisle to compensate for your height.

Before you sit down, Rarity hovers the blanket she brought in her saddlebag and spreads it on the grass, meticulously making sure there wasn't a fold or crease anywhere to be found. Never mind the fact that you were all about to crease it anyway as soon as your butts hit the ground, but whatever. You know Rarity can be like that sometimes.

Okay, a lot. Still, it's nothing you haven't gotten used to.

You sit on the left side of your group with Pinkie on the right and your girl in the middle. The audience is bigger than you expected, based on what Rarity said. You assumed the place would barely be half full; instead, you'd estimate about eighty percent of the seating area was taken up. Even though, like your girlfriend said, there aren't as many upper crust ponies in Ponyville, things like the play do give them something to do from time to time. It makes sense. There were a few times you went on a date with a girl on Earth not only because you liked them but also because there wasn't much going on at home at the time and you just needed to get out for a little while.

There's a sound of plastic being jabbed into the grass and you take a gander beside you to find Rarity magically setting up the parasols she brought with her. You have to admit not feeling the sun beating down on your exposed neck is nice. Plus, you won't be in anyone's way from where you're sitting so you probably won't hear anyone complaining.

It isn't very long before the curtains begin to rise and the crowd begins to applaud. Amidst the loud clapping of hooves you can hear Rarity squealing with giddiness. She didn't mention too often that she enjoyed this kind of thing, but seeing her so happy makes you smile and toss away any notion of poking a bit of fun at her overly girlish display.

Pinkie is a little harder to read. She doesn't look like she was about ready to start bouncing off the walls with joy like Rarity, but she also doesn't appear to be dreading what was coming like you are.

As the play gets underway – 'Colthello', according to the program you received when you arrived at the park – you can't help but feel bored after maybe fifteen minutes. It doesn't help that you're not as familiar with Old Equestrian as the rest of the crowd seems to be and can't understand half of what they're saying. Flashbacks of high school and college teachers going on and on about the subtleties of prose and various metaphors and iambic penta-something or other flicker through your head as you try desperately to maintain your attention.

By the time intermission rolls around, your fingers had been unconsciously plucking at the grass for about an hour. Anything to keep the blood flowing, no matter how slowly, and falling asleep was absolutely out of the question. Rarity would kill you and you know it. Fortunately, she seemed too distracted by the show to notice how uninterested you were.

Barely anything on stage really registers with you. Some stuff about one pony being jealous of another or something and plotting against him. You think. Doubtless you've seen that sort of plot in plenty of movies in the past. It was a common enough trope.

Strangely enough, Pinkie seems to have gotten a bit engrossed by the play. Honestly, you expected her to have her face in the dirt, snoring like a chainsaw. Seeing her sitting still in a single place for so long was different to say the least. Was she just being courteous for Rarity's sake? Did she actually enjoy this kind of thing and simply never said anything about it? You make a mental note to ask her at some point.

The last of the cool soda from the refreshments stand takes care of your thirst for the time being. Rarity and Pinkie had already returned to their seats, but you needed an extra few minutes to stretch your back. Sitting the way you did for so long threw it out a bit.

The second half of the play was already a few minutes old when you return. Pinkie and Rarity greet you with a warm pair of silent smiles, not wanting to cause a distraction among the audience, and return their attention to the stage. You're relieved that they don't seem upset at your tardiness.

Sadly, the rest of the production was proving to be just as dull as the first part to you. It wasn't long before the sugar rush was wearing off and your eyes were getting heavy with boredom. If only you could lean over and ask Pinkie how she manages to be hyper twenty-four hours a day without annoying the other patrons.

Your mind wanders aimlessly, trying horribly to find something to occupy it. Suddenly, as your thoughts drift, some music starts playing in your head. Nirvana, in particular. They were always one of your favorite bands, and it's a decent enough distraction from the tedium on the other end of the amphitheater.

Even with it being several months since you've heard any Earth music, you can still remember the songs as if it was yesterday. Just barely, your head starts to bob and you hum 'Smells Like Teen Spirit' so quietly under your breath that you're confident your dates don't hear you. At least it doesn't look like they can; they're not shooting you any angry looks yet.

Turns out mentally running through most of a discography is a decent way to get through excruciating circumstances you'd rather not be in. Before you realize it, the cast is bowing on-stage to thundering, ground-stomping applause. Snapping out of your musical fantasy, you join in the ovation as inconspicuously as you can.

Once the curtains are finally closed, you and the others stand up, allowing Rarity to pack up the blanket and parasols. As she fills her saddlebag, you look to the west and see that the sun is getting rather low in the sky. Jeez, how long were you there? Must have easily been a few hours.

"Oh, that was such a marvelous show!" Rarity pipes up as your party heads out. "It's absolutely criminal that I never got a chance to see it sooner!"

"Yeah, that was pretty fun," Pinkie interjects. "I've never really been to a fancy-schmancy play like that before, unless you count the Hearth's Warming Day one. But we were the stars of that show, so maybe that one shouldn't count!"

"Really? You liked it?" you ask.

"Sure! I always have a good time when I'm out with my friends. Why wouldn't I?"

Thinking it over for a second, you can't help but shrug. If there one thing you were certain about Pinkie Pie, it was that she knew how to make the best out of any situation.

"I am sorry you didn't enjoy it as much as we did, hon," Rarity says dejectedly.

"Huh? What makes you think I didn't?"

Smirking, she says, "Aside from the fact that before we even left the house you expressed quite a bit of displeasure with attending this, I did happen to notice you poking and pulling at the grass earlier looking rather disinterested."

Caught red-handed, you glance away shamefully. "Oh. Sorry."

Instead of the vicious tongue-lashing you expect to receive, you're instead surprised by the nuzzling of your lady's head against your arm. "It's alright. I do wish you would have given it more of a chance. But I'm just glad you were here with us, even if things didn't completely go as planned."

You turn and gaze into Rarity's tender blue eyes, and in an instant, your guilt begins to melt away. Throwing out any concern about appearances, you lean over and kiss her white cheek softly, holding it long in place.

"I know you've said no PDAs in the past, but I needed to do that," you share upon breaking the kiss, grinning happily.

"I think I can let that one slide," she giggles.

"Awww, you guys are so cute together!" Before you can fire back a witty retort, Pinkie pops up between you and wraps a leg around your neck as well as your date's, pulling you both up against her cheeks and squeezing affectionately. If she was any stronger, she probably would have pulled your spine out of commission, yanking you down at such a funny angle the way she just did. Crazy earth pony strength. "Heehee! Sorry, I just wanted to be part of the moment! What's next on the agenda tonight? Dinner, right?"

"Indeed. Chez Le Grande is about fifteen minutes from here," Rarity confirms, pointing east. She pulls a pocket watch from her saddlebag and pops it open. "We have reservations at seven o'clock and it's about 6:20 right now, so we've got plenty of time. Come, let's see if we can get in a little early."

A trio of long shadows approached the red carpet laid out in front of Chez Le Grande's tall glass doors, yours being at least a foot longer than the others. You scan up and down the upper-crust restaurant, impressed at its craftsmanship. The windows were immaculately clean and had an elaborate, shimmering golden design etched into each pane of glass. The stones that formed the walls didn't appear to have a single jagged edge on any of them and looked to be polished smooth. The sign overhead screamed decadence and class with its large, flowing cursive letters. Still, the soft lights illuminating it from above felt inviting despite the restaurant's exclusiveness.

Along the window's edge was a series of beautifully bright flowerbeds, expertly arranged with lilies, roses, chrysanthemums and other similarly colored flora, all designed to compliment the royal red awning hanging over the doorway. A twisting and turning gold design accentuated the rounded crimson fabric's lower border.

While admiring the structure, a cool, gentle breeze passes by. A fragrant, soothing combination of scents wafts through the air and you take a deep, relaxing breath. If the atmosphere inside was anything like it was outside, this was going to be an amazing dining experience, the likes of which you've never had before.

Finally, there's a break in the line and you and your party are able to get inside. A quick glance further inside shows most of the tables being used. A low murmur of conversation permeates the room, accompanied by swaying sounds of a small chorus of brass, stringed instruments and percussions in the back. A dazzling crystal-laden chandelier hanging over the center of a dance floor – complete with a handful of couples enjoying each other's company – casts a warm glow over a majority of the main hall with only some of the outermost tables requiring their own source of light. Fortunately for them, a row of sconces along the nearby walls made up for this.

One thing was certain as you look over the decorum – the place must have cost a fortune to design, build and eat in.

"Welcome to Chez Le Grande. Do you have a reservation?" the unicorn hostess pleasantly asks.

"Yes, at seven, under Rarity. It was originally for two but some plans changed and we have a third with us now. I hope that's alright."

"I'm sure we can make some arrangements." The young mare looks over the guestbook, scanning through the entries carefully. "It looks like we'll be able to seat your party in about ten minutes."

"Perfect!"

"Would you like us to take your bags for you?"

"That would be much appreciated, thank you," Rarity replies as she floats her saddlebags over.

Reaching under the podium, the hostess pulls out a pair of small tickets, each with the same number, pinning one to the bag and levitating the other to your marefriend. Seeing as how you were the only one with pockets, you snatch it out of the air and put it away.

As the three of you step to the side and wait for your table to free up, Rarity whispers to her pink friend, "Now, Pinkie, we touched on it before, but bouncing around and acting, well, as random as you do sometimes won't sit well with many ponies here."

Pinkie giggles, barely able to contain herself, but quietly enough not to make a scene. "I was quiet during the play, wasn't I?"

"Hm. I suppose you were, yes. I'm sorry, dear," Rarity says with a smile.

"S'okay!"

It was a few minutes longer than the original ten that you and your party were waiting, but the sights and sounds had you distracted enough. Being that it was your first time in such a high-class place, you couldn't help but want to gush but you know this wasn't the time or place for such things. Maybe after you get home later.

The table the staff sits you at is near the dance floor, giving you a decent enough view of the band. You wish they had a small chair for you – or at least something with a back – so you didn't have to sit on strictly a pillow, regardless of how comfortable it may be. It wasn't bothering your date or her friend, but they're used to sitting in such a way. You don't touch the menu given to you, as you already know what's going to be on your plate. The anticipation is mouth-watering and a stupidly excited grin creeps across your face.

Your idle conversation was interrupted by the waiter assigned to your table. "Good evening, folks, my name is Gourmand and I will be serving you. Can I get you something to drink to start with?"

"I was thinking a bottle of one of your finest red wines tonight," Rarity speaks up from behind her own menu. "It's a special night tonight, so let's live it up a bit, shall we?"

"Ooo, that sounds good!"

"Ah, exquisite choice, madame! And you, sir?"

You shrug happily at the unicorn and swing a hand at the table. This night may end up being more fun than you originally thought it'd be. "Sure, I'll have some too!"

"Fantastic! I'll fetch your bottle and take your order when I return."

Once the server is out of earshot, Pinkie opens the menu for the first time and flips her way to the wine list. Her eyes once more almost bulge out of her head. "Rarity, the cheapest wine–"

"Ah ah ah, I'll hear nothing of it. I told you back at the Boutique that price is not a concern tonight."

Pinkie's concern slowly fades as she goes through the appetizers and entrées. Everything looks delicious but she eventually settles on some linguini – mostly because she thought the word sounded funny – with portobello mushrooms and spinach. Rarity, meanwhile, decides on eggplant parmesan and a side salad with vinaigrette dressing. The waiter returns a few minutes later and pours you each a glass of their finest red wine. As per Rarity's request, he leaves the bottle.

"Now, Monsieur Le Grande informed the wait staff and the chefs that a special order was to be prepared tonight for a unique guest. I'm assuming that would be you, yes?" Gourmand asks after taking the mares' orders.

You nod with a big grin on your face. Your treasure was quickly coming within reach!

"Excellent! I do hope you enjoy it! It's not often that we ponies have such particular requests. Now, how would you like it prepared, sir?"

"Medium, please. Gotta have it a little pink in the middle." Hearing your order makes Pinkie curl her lips in amusement, and she struggled valiantly to hold in a giggle fit. "It comes with a side, yes?"

"Indeed it does."

"Mashed potatoes please. Gravy if you've got it," you request, remembering the item on the menu.

The waiter finishes taking down everyone's orders, looking over the pink pony curiously as she barely fights off her laughter the entire time. "Err, very good. I'll go put in your order."

"Thanks." Once Gourmand was out of earshot, you eye the party mare oddly as well. "What's gotten into you?"

"So you like it pink in the middle, huh?" Pinkie says, giggling uncontrollably.

"Well, yeah, if you cook it too long, you... Oh." You roll your eyes. "Should've known."

Rarity shakes her head at the dirty pun too, but after a moment, her friend's chuckles were starting to draw some unwanted attention. "Pinkie, shhh. Don't want to cause a scene or anything," she hisses.

"Hahaha, sorry, sorry! It's out of my system now." Unfortunately, her puffing cheeks and muffled snorts tell a different story. Still, watching her struggle against herself manages to get a laugh from you and your girlfriend. Eager to taste the sweet nectar, you take hold of your glass, holding it out over the table. Following your example, your dates do the same, clinking the crystal goblets together and downing their contents in a single gulp.

Hm! Not bad at all.