Rarity bounds down the stairs a few paces ahead of you while you drag your feet lazily on your way to the kitchen. You could so kill Pinkie Pie right now. Just a few more minutes and everything would have been fine. Ah well. What's done is done. Your girlfriend did mention that her pink friend had a cake for you, and Pinkie does always make amazing pastries and desserts. Perhaps the situation could still be salvageable. Just have to get her out of the house quickly and you could get back to fooling around with your lady.

"Oh, it's just lovely, Pinkie! Thank you so much!" you hear Rarity gush from kitchen.

"No problem! It turned out really nice too, but I had to make sure it was extra perfect for you guys!" Pinkie exclaims, as bubbly and cheerful as always.

You arrive a moment later and spot your girl with the party planner standing over by the table admiring the contents of a thin, powder blue box that's propped open in front of them. A round, white ice cream cake with pink icing swirls along the edges greets you. Off-center is a pair of edible flowery designs made from more icing, their light blue hue similar to Rarity's cutie mark. It looks simple but delicious nonetheless.

"Double fudge with crunchies in the middle, just like you wanted! I had a hard time not taking a nibble myself! Heehee!" Pinkie adds with a giant lick of her lips.

"We can hold onto a slice or two if you want, dear. It would be criminal for you not to be able to sample a piece of this culinary delight you whipped up."

"Really? Ohh, thankyouthankyouthankyou!"

Staring at the tempting confection, you really don't want to wait. It looked and sounded too scrumptious! With not an ounce of shame, you lean over and pluck off a small bit of sugary goodness from the edge of the cake and scarf it down, licking your fingers and receiving a jab on your leg for your trouble.

"Manners!" Rarity gasps, scolding you with a disappointed glare. "Besides, that's for later." Feigning guilt, you shrug and sadly watch the delicious dessert be sealed away and float into the freezer via Rarity's magic. "What am I going to do with you?"

"I don't know, what are you going to do with me?" you joke, grinning ridiculously.

"Sweetie, not in our front of our guest," she mumbles your way, her cheeks flushing as she tries to hide a slightly embarrassed simper.

Your pink friend giggles at your flirtatious exchange. "So, what special things do you have planned for tonight? Besides, well...you know." She fires a wink your way.

Rarity shifts her eyes around uncomfortably and brings them to a halt once they finally fall upon the party mare. "Uh, what do you mean, Pinkie? It's just a normal Friday night, and I wanted us to have some cake later, that's all."

"Well, you did say at Sugarcube Corner that this cake wasn't for any special occasion or anything, but that generally means it is for a special occasion. Not only that, you were looking around all nervous and stuff like you didn't want anypony to know you were buying it, and you were all fidgety when you were talking about the cake not being for a special occasion, which I already said usually means it is. You weren't fidgeting very much, but it was just enough for me to see, and I just knew you probably had something special planned with your special somepony...err, special somebody!" she miraculously spits out in a single breath.

How that mare was able to talk endlessly for who knows how long at a time never ceases to amaze you, even after all this time in Equestria. If nothing else, that girl could read people and ponies like a book. You figure that's what happens when you know everyone in town.

"So, what's going on?" Pinkie asks again.

Accepting defeat at the hooves of the social butterfly, Rarity slouches and purses her lips, a little annoyed that she failed to hide your personal affairs from her observant friend.

"Alright, if you must know, there's an extravagant restaurant on the east side of town – Chez Le Grande. It's the Ponyville branch of the same place in Canterlot that that griffon Gustave owns. You remember him from that one dessert competition, yes?"

Ah, so the cat's out of the bag. Rarity wants to take you to an exclusive dining establishment. That's sweet of her.

"Sure I do, on both counts. That's a ritzy place you're going to!"

"Well, it's not that we're simply going out to dinner," your girlfriend continues, turning to look brightly at you. "Here's the surprise. I was able to pull some strings and sat down with Gustave a couple weeks ago, and I received word that a few days ago, they were able to bring in the special order I requested for you."

"Special order? Whatever it is, in a place like that, special orders probably cost more than a fortune."

"Don't you dare bring up money, because that's not the point," she shoots back, waving her hoof dismissively. "You know how well we're doing financially. Anyway, I know how much you like having fish from time to time, and...well, from what you've told me, where you originate from, just about everything on Applejack's farm could find its way to a dinner plate, which is perfectly natural for a omnivorous species like yours."

Why would she need to mention something like that? ...Wait, you don't think she...?

"I assumed that a griffon – one who happens to own a few fancy places to eat – would likely have the means to order something..." she taps her chin, searching for the right word, "alternative that ponies wouldn't normally touch but he probably would enjoy himself. When I originally stopped by his place, we eventually came to an agreement that he would include in this week's order, there'd be a...oh, how did he put it?...a nice, thick cut of steak just for you! He said it wouldn't be difficult for him to get it, just that – oop!"

Fast as lightning, you scoop Rarity off the floor and squeeze her tight, not even allowing her to finish her sentence. You heard all you needed to hear, and almost immediately, you can smell and taste the long-missed piece of juicy, succulent, tender red meat. You haven't had anything like it since you came to Equestria, and in that very moment, one thing becomes perfectly and undeniably clear to you: Rarity is the best girlfriend in the world. She squirms and giggles as you climb up her neck, planting one passionate kiss after another.

"Oh! If I knew you'd react like this, I'd have done this a long time ago! Ooo!" she squeals, laughing as your lips repeatedly tickle her coat.

With one last long kiss on her cheek, you pull back and gaze into her sparkling blue eyes. A look of excited awe finds your face, and your heart feels like it's about to burst out of your chest. "I love you so much right now."

"And what about all those other times, hmm?" Rarity asks with a fake pout, poking you on your chest.

"And all those other times! I just can't believe you'd go through all that trouble! I know how ponies feel about the whole meat thing."

"Just because we don't dine on it ourselves doesn't mean we're not aware that other species do. It's not as big a deal to us as you may think. I will say that Pinkie is right, though. I wanted to do something extra special for you just because, and I had a feeling you'd really enjoy this!"

"Do you have any idea how amazing you are?"

She can practically see the glimmer in your eyes as you fantasize about the delicious meal you'll be having later that evening. "I don't know, darling, but if you continue on like that, you may just make a girl blush!" she giggles.

You pull Rarity in close for a big, warm bear hug, feeling her forelegs wrap around your neck and her head snuggling into your shoulder. Pinkie quietly watches your affectionate display beside you, a nearly impossible smile spanning across her face. But, as you caress your girlfriend's back and chuckle into each others' ears, little by little, Pinkie's joyful expression fades. Her ears slump just slightly and her eyes dip to the floor. Her wide grin slowly comes undone, and although seeing two of her friends in such grand spirits would normally leave her bouncing off the walls, she's abnormally silent, so much so that Rarity takes notice. She opens her eyes and spies her friend looking rather glum in spite of the merry mood in the room.

"Pinkie, are you alright, dear?"

Now a bit concerned as well, you loosen your grip and turn to see what's going on. You have to admit you've never seen Pinkie in such a funk before.

"Sure!" she lies, perking right back up. "I love seeing my friends so happy together!"

You and Rarity exchange odd glances, and you set her down on her hooves. She steps over to the upset pink mare while you sit down Indian-style.

"You don't really look it," you comment. "What's up?"

"Nothing! I'm fine, really!"

"Sweetie, I can read ponies fairly well myself, and you're not exactly being subtle about this," Rarity says, resting a hoof on her friend's shoulder. "What's wrong? You can tell us."

The poor pink pony plops onto her rump and looks away, desperate to convince her friends that nothing is the matter. But ultimately, she knows that they're going to insist she tell them – especially Rarity. Sighing, she comes clean. "It's just...I've seen you both around town, and you look so happy. Heck, everypony's seen you around town looking happy."

"Wait a moment," Rarity interrupts, "everypony knows about us seeing each other? You and the girls are the only ones we ever said anything to other than...the spa twins."

"Sure they do. You're not really hiding it too well. Anypony with functioning eyes can see how much you like each other," Pinkie says, her own eyes bulging out of her head. Jeez, some of the bizarre things that pony can do will always unsettle you a bit.

"Nobody cares?" you ask.

"Why would they?"

"I'm not exactly Equestrian. I know ponies and, like, dragons and griffons and such have gotten together in the past, if what I've been told is true. We just didn't want to risk people getting on our case and calling us freaks or something because we're from two different worlds altogether."

Pinkie's mouth falls open in saddened shock. She seems almost hurt by the suggestion that ponies she knows a lot better than you would treat its fellow citizens so poorly. "Why in Equestria would they call you freaks?"

"Well, you know ponies don't talk back where I'm from, I've told you. People didn't...date them. If they tried to, others would call them weird, crazy, stuff like that. We just weren't sure if the same thing would happen here, so we've kept as quiet as we could about it. We figured you girls wouldn't have any issues with it since you know Rarity personally, but we didn't know about the rest of the town." You lean over to your marefriend and say in a hushed tone, "Though, to tell you the truth, I think they've known for a while. I just didn't want to say anything to worry you."

"Is this true, Pinkie?" Rarity asks, still rather surprised by the revelation.

She nods in response. "Everypony likes seeing you happy together. They don't care that he's from someplace else."

You and Rarity glance at each other. With a shrug, you smile confidently at her, relieved that you don't have to worry about hiding your real feelings behind walls anymore. She returns the smile, beaming brightly as well. It must be as big a load off her mind as it is for you. With that concern finally out of the way for good, you each turn your attention to the original matter at hand – seeing what was upsetting Pinkie.

"That's good to hear," the unicorn says, gently patting Pinkie on the back in an effort to keep her relaxed. "But, what was bothering you? You said you've seen us around town and we looked happy, yes?"

"Uh huh."

"Then what's wrong?"

It takes a moment for her to work up the courage to get to the heart of the issue, and you're as curious as you are patient. Sighing, Pinkie finally caves in. "I just...I just wish I knew what that kind of love was like."

You blink in disbelief. Rarity sends an equally baffled look your way.

"What are you talking about?" you ask. "You know everyone in town! You've really never been in a relationship with any of them?"

She shakes her head. "Not like the kind you're in."

"What, you mean you...?" Rarity begins to ask, but stops herself short, trying to be polite.

"How do you think I'm able to stay friends with so many ponies so well?" Pinkie responds with a friendly jab at your girlfriend's shoulder.

"I can't really say I've ever given it much thought," the white mare mutters while she subtly lowers her hoof back to the floor and peers away. This was quickly becoming more than the poor dear bargained for.

An awkward, pregnant pause fills the room before you finally ask what your girlfriend would never admit to wanting to know. "So, like, who have you been with?"

Your name fires out of Rarity's mouth like a bullet. "That's none of our business!"

"Oh, it's okay!" Pinkie exclaims, hopping to her hooves, strangely animated over sharing her sexual exploits. "I don't mind talking about that, and plenty of the ponies I've been with told me they don't mind either. Let's see, Vinyl Scratch and I sometimes get together after her shows down at the club where she performs. I see Berry Punch fairly often down at the local watering hole, and if we have enough to drink, I sometimes wake up back at her place. Cloud Kicker stops by my window from time to time–"

"Good God, what have I done?" you mumble loud enough for the mares to hear, though Pinkie is too preoccupied in listing her conquests to pay any mind.

Only your angel has a response, one of mild annoyance.

"Well, you did ask her, darling."

"–and then there was Cloudchaser last Friday night, but then I got together with Flitter the next day but then later that night, me, Cloudchaser and Flitter hooked up. Boy, was that ever a wild night! And then, there's Blossomforth–"

You stare blankly as Pinkie spills out what almost sounds to be an unending list of what you note are mares. You're not even completely sure she's stopped to breathe over the last few minutes.

"How do I turn her off?"

"You could always just ask her to stop."

"–and Apple Fritter, that girl's a real farmer's daughter, if you know what I mean, and then, um–"

You launch a hand at the chatterbox, begging for a break. "Pinkie! Pinkie, alright! We get it, and you're into girls apparently."

"I'm into stallions too, silly!"

Rarity instantly shares yet another deadpan glance with you. She knows, as well as you, what's on the very near horizon. Before either of you can object, Pinkie continues right where she left off.

"I've gotten together with Thunderlane – that's a stallion's stallion if I've ever seen one – and there's Noteworthy, but I haven't seen him since he started trying out for the Canterlot Symphony Orchestra. Caramel was always really enthusiastic, but then he met somepony and has been seeing them seriously ever since. Pokey Pierce is always trying to come up with some silly new pun that involves him and poking, heehee! There was this one stallion I haven't seen in a long time. I forget his name, but he would always end up covering me in jelly and licking it off my–"

"Pinkie, please, darling, that's more than enough!" Rarity snaps, quickly silencing the seemingly endless rant. You both could feel a headache coming on, and in a near-unison motion you rub your foreheads, pushing the low throbs back into the recesses of your skulls.

Smiling sweetly, it appears that the party animal – with incredibly strong emphasis on party, apparently – may have finally gotten out of the doldrums. Maybe reminding herself of all the fun she's experienced in her young life was enough to show her that she obviously has the love of many, many ponies in town. One would think that would be enough for a single mare over an entire lifetime.

"There are others, stallions and mares, but I made a Pinkie Promise to each of the rest that I wouldn't talk about them in any of those types of stories," the confectionist admits, emphasizing her point by dragging her hoof across her mouth, zipping her lips.

"Well, that's...good, I suppose?" your lover chimes in, unsure what to think at this point. She didn't see any reason to dig so deep about any of Pinkie's, err, extra special friends. But there wasn't much point in worrying about that now; the damage was done.

"I still don't get something though," you speak up. "You never felt anything for any of those ponies?"

"Those relationships were just for fun, nothing serious. Not like what you two have. But I'll bet you can't deny that your relationship is pretty fun too!" Somehow Pinkie's cheeks turn a shade pinker and she wiggles her eyebrows at you both.

"Okay, she's kinda got us there," you grumble at Rarity through your teeth.

Still not wanting to go into detail about your intimacies, the lovely unicorn glares back at you hard, speaking only through her eyes that she wanted you to drop it. You throw your hands up apologetically and go back to digging for information. It just didn't sit right with you that the most outgoing creature you've ever known has never been involved in a romantic relationship. Pinkie was a diamond in the rough, a true sweetheart always wanting to make people...ponies, whatever...happy, no matter what it took. Surely, someone out there wanted to do the same for her, yes?

"Alright, let me put it this way: Is there anyone you do like?"

Rubbing the back of her head, she says, "Uh huh! It's, uh...it's Joe, heh."

"Donut Joe?"

"Mhm! He's really handsome, I love his voice, and he makes some of the best desserts in town! What's not to love?"

You raise an eyebrow. Surely there's something more to this picture. "But?"

"But," she sighs, her brief jovial mood almost instantly flipping around again, "he's seeing somepony, and I'm not the kind of mare to try stealing somepony else's coltfriend. But, either way, I'm...kind of jealous of you, Rarity, I'll be honest."

"But why would you be jealous of me?" she asks. "You've been living with the Cakes for a while now, and they're married. Why not them?"

"They were married before I moved in years ago. They just don't do the kinds of things you guys do. I mean, he was all over you just a few minutes ago – and not in the nasty way either – over some exotic food you're buying for him tonight! It was so sweet! It's obvious that you're crazy about each other! What you have is so much more than anything I could ever get out of just a bunch of one-night stands."

It cut both you and your girlfriend to the quick. Neither of you had any idea whatsoever that Pinkie was hurting so much inside. She hid it rather well behind all the smiles and laughs, though you figure not all of the smiles were disingenuous. She was the Element of Laughter. Based on what you've been told about the artifacts, it would probably somehow know if she was faking it this whole time.

For a moment, you wonder if her promiscuity actually made a bit of sense. Back home on Earth, it almost seemed that the girls you heard about, mainly through your friends, who were involved with a lot of guys tended to be the most lonely behind closed doors, but it's not as if you're a shrink. Still, you couldn't figure out how the most popular mare in town could feel so empty, but you also never recall hearing about Pinkie going out and doing something by herself. She always had to be hanging out with someone, even if it was to do something as mundane as going to the market.

Rarity wraps a hoof around Pinkie's neck and nuzzles her gently, drying up any tears that were starting to form in her friend's eyes. "Sweetie, I'm so sorry."

"It's okay, Rarity, I'll be fine! Don't you worry about it!" Try as she might to hide it, you can hear the shaking, the uneasiness in Pinkie's voice. Your girlfriend probably did too. "Well, I better go. I'm sure you two have some planning to do and I don't want to hold you up. The Cakes are probably wondering where I went to as well! Have fun tonight!"

You halfheartedly wave goodbye as Pinkie trots off to the back door of the boutique, feeling her pain as if it were your own. Hearing her woes leaves you feeling hollow, and even though you'd like to help Pinkie, you've never had to give relationship advice before. You turn to Rarity, hoping that she has an idea of what to do. But, her mind is elsewhere at the moment. She's biting her lip and darting her eyes around, her train of thought going a mile a minute.

As the troubled mare disappears from view of the kitchen, just about the head out the door, Rarity cries out, "Pinkie, wait!"

The hoofsteps come to a sudden stop. A second later, they echo softly through the doorway, approaching once again. "What's up?" Pinkie asks as she stretches her head in.

"Could you hold off on leaving for a little while? My beau and I have to discuss something. Inside."

What's this now? She's probably still peeved about your prying, isn't she? Though you didn't hear any anger in her statement. What's she up to?

"Uh, sure, I guess so."

"Thanks, dearie. Make yourself at home if you like. We shouldn't be long." Nodding toward the lobby, Rarity takes the lead and marches outside. She looked to be rather concerned, but you only saw her face for a moment. Stretching your back as you get up, you decide it was best to do as she asked and follow her.

She turns to the stairs and sits down on the second one with you doing the same right behind her. Glancing quickly at the doorway, Rarity sees you're alone and sighs sadly. It's obvious enough to you now that Pinkie's troubles are bothering her immensely.

"Okay, so what's going on?" you ask, wrapping a hopefully reassuring arm around your love.

"I didn't want her to leave right away. I need to do something for her. Pinkie's not supposed to feel awful like this. It's just wrong!" she pouts, leaning up against you.

"Alright. Any ideas?"

Rarity's lips curled, and she turns her attention to the floor, concentrating hard. A few ideas come and go, but nothing settles in for more than a few seconds before she decides against them. You wish you could help, but you don't want to accidentally suggest something that may make things worse. She taps her chin and lifts an eyebrow. A moment later, Rarity's face lights up and a tiny smile cracks.

"Got something?" you ask, caressing her shoulder.

"I believe I do, yes. I know that tonight was supposed to be just for us, but we've gone on plenty of dates before. Would you be interested in bringing Pinkie along? She could use a friend right now more than anything else, I think, and there's no reason it still wouldn't be a fun night."

"It won't be quite as romantic as you were probably hoping though, you realize."

"Oh, I know, darling," she says, waving dismissively, "but I'm not worried. I almost wish I could speak to somepony I think Pinkie may fancy and see if they'd like come with us at the last second and turn this into a double date. Unfortunately, I have no idea who I could talk to or if they'd be somepony that Pinkie would be interested in at all. Or if they'd be interested in her for that matter."

You shrug. "I doubt she'd mind either way. Plus, I don't really know her as well as you do or the rest of your friends for that matter. Maybe it'd help me get to know her a little better if nothing else. But, you really expect Pinkie, the same bouncy, hyperactive, nutball Pinkie, to...remain calm in a place like what you described?"

"I can talk to her if need be, but after what happened at the Grand Galloping Gala a couple years ago, I suspect she'll know how and when to behave."

"The Grand what?"

"I can tell you about it later. It would make for a good story when we're all together," she says, brushing your question off for the time being.

"Would bringing her along result in any drastic changes to what you had planned?"

"Mmmm, no. So, come on! What do you think? Want to give it a shot?"

You muddle over the idea for a moment. It doesn't seem to have a downside really, and you all could share some interesting stories if nothing else. No doubt Pinkie has more than a few up her sleeve. So neither you nor Rarity wouldn't be able to be as sweet with each other. You'll live. Your lover's subtle nudging, obviously being used to coax you as you sit there, was certainly helping her case. Maybe not your decision-making, but that's probably not the intention anyway.

"Eh, sure, why not? Let's go see if she's interested."

"Ohh, thank you!" Rarity beams. She leans in and gives you a quick peck on the cheek. "I just know tonight will be wonderful!"

Just as the unicorn gets up to head back down the stairs, you give her flank a gentle, teasing poke. "Of course it will! You'll be there."

She flicks her tail right into your nose, giggling at your silly but genuine words. You stand and join her on the way back inside.