Twilight's Answering Machine #8

All of the following are recordings from the answering machine and are voice only.

Twilight Sparkle: Huh, it's been over a year since I changed my answering machine message. Anyway, it may be a while before I can call back because, well, I have wings and all that. See ya!

(beep)

Comic Book Guy: Hello, Twilight Sparkle. I have successfully sent this message to another dimension. Anyway, I have a bone to pick with you. Specifically, why in the world did you say in that Hot Topic video that you can't fly, when you clearly flew after the coronation. Don't you realize that nothing matters more than strict, accurate continuity in this show!? Why, the very thought makes my butt tingle! Worst. Plot Hole. Ever!...That's not what I meant when I said “plot”, by the way.

(beep)

Rainbow Dash: 'Sup, Twilight! So I've been thinking: are we wing buddies now? I mean, I know you're a princess now and you have some...princessy-things to do, but we should totally fly around and do stuff. Heck, let me teach you how to use those wings and maybe you can become a Wonderbolt! I mean, they gotta let princesses in, right? Maybe a friend of a princess. (cough) So uh...talk to you later!

(beep)

Trixie: This is the Great and Powerful Trixie, giving you a call to your communication device! Anyway, the Great and Powerful Trixie would like to, um, ask you a favor. Can...can I crash into your place? You see, I've been kind of homeless ever since I lost my home, and I don't think that rock farm will ever hire me back. I mean, I'm sure being a princess will entitle you to some big, fancy castle, so there's gotta be a room you can spare for me, right? The Great and Powerful Trixie will now perform the amazing act of hanging this phone up!

(click)

Ummm, I dropped the receiver.

(beep)

Jade Singer: Hello, Twilight. Congratulations on becoming a princess and all. Hey, uh, do you know what happened to my favorite swing album? It's just that it disappeared right before you left. I mean, I don't think you took it since I know you're not a fan, but do you know what happened to it? If you can give me a lead, that'd be swell.

So what'd you think of “Re-Kant”?

(beep)

Fluttershy: Oh, goodness, Twilight. I'm so happy that you're a princess that I can just scream. Yaaaay! Anyway, I was just wondering if you know proper wing care habits. I mean, I know there are books on the subject, but if you need any help, I would gladly assist you. Oh, maybe we can be preening buddies! I help Rainbow Dash with her wing care all the time! I mean, with the way she flies, it's absolutely essential, but still... So, um, give me a call, if that's okay with you.

(beep)

Homer Simpson: Hmmm, how did I get this number? Did somebody invent an inter-dimension phone line? Anyway, I'd like to order a pizza with extra cheese and tomato, bacon, onions, and sausage. And could you stop by the donut shop and get a box of it? Hmmmm, donuts. And pizza. Inter-dimensional pizza. (droll)

(beep)

Spike: Say, Twilight. I'm wondering...will I get wings? I mean, I'm a dragon, and all dragons have wings...except me, apparently. Why don't I have wings? What kind of malarkey is that? And what does “malarkey” even mean!? I mean, if I became a princess, well, I would need to get a sex-change operation first, because...

Twilight Sparkle (distant): You know I'm over here, right, Spike?

Spike: Oh, right. Heh heh. Never mind.

(beep)

Rarity: How are you today, Twilight dear? I'm just calling to ask if you want me to retrofit your old dresses so that I can add a hole for your wings. Oh if you're gonna want to dress up, you surely must show off your lovely wings. It's absolutely wonderful and very...princessy? Ugh, even I'm talking like Rainbow Dash. Ta ta!

(beep)

Applejack: Hi ya' Twilight! So how's being a princess holdin' ya? Say, um, now that you're God or something, I was wonderin' if you could help our farm out. I mean, not that I'm th' kind of pony that asks for guv'mint assistance, but we could really use some cash, and Granny Smith still needs her new hips. Big Macintosh could use a new plow, and even li'l Apple Bloom could use a new bow! So, uh, I don't know where you Princesses keep your bits, but if you could loan me a bit or two...or three thousand. S'long!

(beep)

Bart Simpson: Hello. I am calling for Philly. Last name, Fueller...yeah, this doesn't work when you're on answering machine.

(beep)

End Chapter 8