Twilight's Answering Machine 7

All of the following are recordings from the answering machine and are voice only.

Spike:  So, uh, Twilight snapped…again. We’ll be gone for few days for “treatment”. Leave a message.

(beep)

Rarity: Why hello, darling. Hope you’re going to feel better after that…incident. Anyway, I was just calling to ask: do you have a brother? Rumor has it that a fine stallion by the name of Shining Armor is your older brother. If so, why haven’t you told us about it? I mean, I know we haven’t really gone in depth on sharing details on our family, but honestly, Twilight. You didn’t feel the need to tell us about your brother? Well, once you’ve recovered you’re marching up to the Boutique and you’re going to tell me all about him! (in sing song voice) I’ll be sure to have tea!

(beep)

Iron Will: Hello Ms. Sparkle! Iron Will’s the name and I’m here to rock! Iron Will’s just calling to tell you about the new assertiveness training that will take place tonight! With new teaching technique like telling people pushing you around that “No means No!” Iron Will is sure that will be useful for ponies like you! That’s all Iron Will wants to say. Oh, what is this brother of your’s that Iron Will’s been hearing about!? I mean, Iron Will doesn’t even know who you are, but this is something you should’ve at least mentioned once! When somepony is out of your loop, you have to punch a hole in your…hoop? Iron Will needs to work on that catchphrase.

(beep)

Cheerilee: Hello Twilight, it’s me, Cheerilee. Listen, I know it’s a bad time, with your condition and all, but I’ve been meaning to ask: what the buck were you thinking when you gave that book to the girls!? I mean, without getting into discussing why they decided to publish the recipe for the love poison on a book that anypony can check out, didn’t you consider that giving such book to those three would’ve been a bad idea? Do you even know what those girls can be like? I mean…augh! And how come you never told us about your brother!?

(beep)

Spike: Okay, Twi. I know it’s strange calling you through our phone when I can probably just ask you at the hospital, but…how come even I didn’t know about your brother? I mean, I’ve seen your parents many times. I even stayed over at your home in Canterlot two or three times before, and even they never said anything about their son. Is he like the black sheep in the family or something? Did he create a hit cartoon series that’s a thinly-veiled parody of your parents, where they hit eachother with parking meters and thus you and your family are ashamed of him!? Come on, Twilight! I hate it when I’m out of the loop.

(beep)

Rainbow Dash: Oh come on, Twilight! You have a brother!? What, does that make me the only one who doesn’t have a sibling!? Okay, I guess Fluttershy don’t, either, but I don’t think she has a family at all. Come to think of it, do I have a family? Where did I come from? I…I’ll call back later.

(beep)

Discord: Hi Twilight. It’s you-know-who. No, don’t worry, I won’t spread chaos through your phone like the last time. It’s just…I think I’m losing my touch. The last time I escaped the rock prison I couldn’t even discord Fluttershy without cheating. Now I hear that she managed to become jerk just by spending the day at the Ponyville market!? What the buck!? Wow, and you thought I was evil? Also, your brother? That’s pure chaos, baby!

(beep)

Fluttershy: Um, hi, Twilight. So, um, I’m just calling, wondering, well, how come you never told us about your brother? I mean, if you don’t want to talk about him, that’s fine, but, well, it just seems out of nowhere that you somehow have a brother that’s never been mentioned before. Um, I guess that’s all…(squeak).

(beep)

Cheese: I AM THE CHEESE! I AM THE BEST CHARACTER ON THIS SHOW! I AM BETTER THAN BOTH THE SALAMI AND THE BOLOGNA COMBINED! DON’T YOU FORGET IT! AND HOW COME YOU NEVER TOLD ME ABOUT YOUR BROTHER!?!?!?

(beep)

Cranky Doodle Donkey: Hello Miss, it’s Cranky. So, uh, do you have a book on how to obtain restraining order? There’s this certain…pony…that I really want to leave me alone. I won’t tell you who this pony is, but she just randomly appears out of nowhere and is seriously creeping me out. Let me know if you have something. Oh, and just so we’re clear, I don’t give a hoot about your brother in any shape or form, so there!

(beep)

Shining Armor: Hello, Twilight. This is Shining Armor. Listen, how come you never told me that I’m your brother? I mean, I guess I should have seen this coming, seeing that we lived together with our parents for years and what not, but seriously, all those years and neither of them told me that we’re siblings! I thought you were just some girl that randomly decided to live with us, and now I get the news that I’m your brother? That doesn’t make sense! Anyway, wanna come to my wedding? Oh, and you may or may not become Princess Celestia’s sister-in-law pretty soon.

(beep)

End Chapter 7