Twilight's Answering Machine

(Format similar to Homestar Runner's "Marzipan's Answering Machine")

Twilight's phone is on the table. All of the following are recordings from the answering machine and are voice only.

Twilight Sparkle: Hello, you have reached Twilight Sparkle's residence. If you have a message for me or Spike, please leave them after the beep. And if this is Rainbow Dash calling in to prank me, could you do the one with the National Book-A-Thon 'cause that one is my favorite.

(beep)

Pinkie Pie: Hiya Twilight! It's me, Pinkie and I'm just calling in to invite you to my new party!!! Now what the party is for, you may ask? Well NOTHING, silly! I decided that you don't actually need a reason to throw a party, because DUH! Who cares, right?? So get your flank over to the Sugarcube Corner tonight at 8 for the fun of the lifetime! Well, actually fun of the evening, but whatever! Oh, and do you think you can get Spike to come to this one? He's been avoiding my parties lately. You don't suppose that has anything to do with all the pranks I pull on him, right? Nah! My pranks are all in a good fun and if it's bothering him he'd tell me! (now sounding uncertain) Right?

(beep)

Scootaloo: Hello Twilight, this is, uh, Handy Pony from the National Safety of Equestria or something or another. We just wanted to ask if your (snerk) refrigerator is running. Is it running? No? Well, you’d better go catch it! HA! HA! HA! HA! Quick, Sweetie Belle, do I have a cutie mark?

Sweetie Belle: No.

Scootaloo: (dejected) Drat! I was sure I’d get one for prank calling!

(beep)

Lickity Split: Hey Spike, this is Lickity Split. I’m just calling wondering if I, uh, can have my ball back. I know I gave it to you for your birthday and everything, but I, uh, really loved that ball and I’d love to have it back. I mean, you cured your greediness, so you don’t need it anymore, right? So…I’ll just wait for you to show up…with my ball…at my house…I’m presuming you know where I live…right?

(beep)

Rainbow Dash: (speaking in poor imitation of Applejack’s voice) Hiya Twilight, this is, um, Applejack, calling to let you know that it’s not Rainbow Dash leaving you all these crank calls. It was ME, Applejack, all along. Yes, sugercube, I was the one pranking you! So, uh, if you want me to beat me up for pranking you, feel free, Twi’! I guess you can send Spike over and set me on fire, ‘cause he’s a fire-breathin’ dragon and all that. So, uh…SUGARCUBE!

(beep)

Spike: Twilight, it’s me. Listen, I don’t have much time, but you gotta help me! I think Pinkie’s following me. Everywhere I turn she’s following me around. Oh I knew it! I knew that this would happen when I started avoiding her parties. But can you blame me? She keeps pranking me everytime I go there! What should I do, Twilight? And don’t suggest anything that involves talking to her. Because that never, ever works out...right? Anyway, I’ll be at Rarity’s so…actually I think I’ll stay overnight here. I’ll just tell her I’m being chased by an insane pony. I mean, it’s not like I’m lying or anything.

(beep)

Rarity: (sing-songy voice) Hello, Twilight, it’s me, Rarity! (normal voice) I’m just calling to let you know that I’m designing a new dress piece, but I have no idea what type of fabric to use. That darling Spike is over here and I could ask him to bring a book on the history of fabrics rom the library, but he said something about an insane pony trying to attack him, and I simply could not put him in harm’s way, so I suppose it’s up to you to bring a book over here…from the library. I’d know you’d understand. Ta-tah!

(beep)

Applejack: (speaking in poor imitation of Rainbow Dash’s voice) Hello Twilight this is me, the most awesome, 20% cool Pegasus in the world, Rainbow Dash! And uh, oh man! You caught me! I’m the one leaving you all the prank calls in your answering machine! I suppose I must be punished for all my misdeeds. I mean, I’m pretty sure there’s a spell for removing wings from a Pegasus, right? ‘Cause I TOTALLY deserve that. Maybe for a week…heck, maybe six months. Maybe forever! But I don’t mind, ‘cause I’m Rainbow Dash, the most awesomest…estest? Pony in the whole wide Equestria. Umm..20% cool in 10 seconds flat! I’m Rainbow Dash!

(beep)

END OF PART 1