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Entry 8: (Summer 92nd, 1010 PNM) Cunninlingus Romance, Masturbation, Tribadism, Light Domination, 69ing, Some other pretty sexy stuff

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The door to Sugarcube Corner has never seemed so imposing. Fall is coming, and it’s already getting dark. Stormclouds have already begun to form, but there’s no lightning yet. The only light so far comes out from the delightful two-story bakery’s windows, and in place of thunder I can hear their music from out here. As bleak as the chilly evening seems, the party inside is certainly the exact opposite. It’s a Pinkie Pie party, and that means comfort and good cheer. So why do I feel so insecure?

It’s the pony at my right that I’m worried about. Only an hour and a half ago I finally spilled my guts to her, but I’m aching to tell her the rest. The idiot in me wants to skip out on apologizing to Rarity, hurt feelings or not. My relationship with Dash is worth... Well, I only found out today how much it’s worth to me.

There’s a time for everything though. Dash is adamant that I apologize to Rarity first. We’ll wing our way to the mountaintop we’d agreed on after the party. I bite my lip and hope I can still organize all the thoughts I currently have in order. If I can keep it together when I talk to Rarity tonight, I should be in good shape when I talk to Rainbow.

She touches my side, and I jump.

“You ok over there? You’ve stared at the door for forever!”

Despite the darkness I nod, and I find it hard to swallow before I can speak up to confirm it.

“Just... thinking.”

“About apologizing to Rarity?”

I shake my head, but realize she can’t see that either.

“No... Yes. I have a lot of ponies to apologize to!”

I’m pulled into a quick hug. Is she mad or not? I’m going to die confused at this rate.

“Don’t get worked up. You can do this.”

I nod and smile before opening the door and stepping in.

The music is loud, even for a Pinkie Pie party. There’s an abundance of cake, party games, and wrapped gifts. A table in the corner has punch. I tuck “our” gift into Rainbow’s wing. It’s best to save those tickets for when the party dies down. I’d hate to upstage anypony. I give her one last uncertain look. I’m not sure I can face Rarity before I’ve faced Dash. It feels like I’m doing apologies backward.

Mr. Cake waves at me and we make our way over together. We have to sneak through throngs of ponies dancing and playing party games to make our way over to him, but we manage to do it without attracting too much attention.

“Rainbow Dash and Twilight Sparkle together! Well isn’t this a surprise!”
My heart leaps in my chest. I realize he’s just commenting on our arriving together, and the sigh of relief must be audible. I get a gentle prod and see that I’m expected to reply.

“Mr. Cake! This party is looking amazing!”

Despite having to think on my hooves, there’s a sincerity to my voice that’s been lacking for years. He must pick up on it, because his smile is much wider than the usual harried half-expressions he manages these days.

“Oh? Oh yes, Twilight! Pinkie’s gone especially out of her way this time!”

I’m flocked on all sides by ponies asking how I’m doing as Mr. Cake’s second mention of my name attracts their attention. Their voices thrum together and overwhelm the music, the games, the storytelling, everything. They close up a circle quickly, and the questions come so quickly I can’t separate them.

“-Heard all about your magic accident-”

“-True that you broke windows?”

“-That there was a fireball?”

“-Says you were trying to create your own sun!”

“-Canterlot’s magic police can tell when you cast spells?”

“No, that’s the Princess!”

Dash is my saving grace. It’s not the first time or last time tonight. She grabs me by the hooves and roughly pulls me through the wall of curious mares and colts until we’ve reached the punch bowl. Her only hint that we’re not trying to be impolite is a loudly shouted excuse about being thirsty and needing me to conjure her a glass. Anypony can tell it’s a lie, and we barely make it to the cup-covered table before they redouble toward us.

We get to the punch bowl flocked on all sides. The situation here isn’t much better, but I can get my back against a hard surface. Rainbow presses up against my side, and for just a minute, I know she knows how hot this spotlight can be. Our shared experience lets me hold my head a bit higher. Her hoof brushes against mine, and I find myself blushing despite every pony’s shouted inquiries. Images of cuddling against her or hiding my face until they all leave leap to mind. To my surprise, she steps forward and extends her wings to shield me from the barrage of inquiries. She says that we really need to say hello to Rarity before we can answer more questions, and Mr. Cake manages his way through the throng and politely asks if we’re looking for the mother-to-be.

It’s the first good question I’ve heard all night. I push down Dash’s wing and nod until I’m sure my neck will come unhinged.

“She’s in the kitchen with Cup, trying to get her courage up to come back out to face this noisy bunch of ponies, I think.”
The comment leaves many ponies hanging their heads, and the general fervor deflates instantly as they realize their insistent mob mentality has apparently driven off the mare of the hour.

“I’ll go... Talk to her, see if I can get her to come out then!”

It’s a perfect excuse, and I duck toward the kitchen door as the ponies begin to step aside. I’ve never been so thankful to have a colt like Mr. Cake around. Celestia help me, if I live that long I’ll be just as bold and crotchety.
With this to bolster my resolve, I crack the door to the kitchen. Inside, I can hear her
talking to somepony.

“-said some terrible things to Twilight recently, and I just know I shouldn’t have. She doesn’t know what it’s like though, she doesn’t understand! I’m not ready yet, just not ready. And I’m sorry for what I said to her, but I’m starting to think I shan’t ever be... ready for this.”

I step back from the door and let it close quietly behind me. For the first time, the weight of everything I’ve said settles into my mind. I don’t belong here tonight. I turn to try to beat a hasty retreat, but Dash fills my view. How can she look so tall and imposing? Of course, I’m helping her case by cowering.

“Is this the changed Twilight Sparkle?”

I can feel tears filling my eyes. This will be it. I can’t possibly convince her that I’ve screwed things up with Rarity too much to fix alone.

When I don’t reply, she grabs me roughly and pulls me by the ear around a corner and up the stairs. When we’re outside the bathroom door, she hardly knocks before flinging it open, pulling me in, and pushing me roughly against the wall.

“Is this it? You dragged me along with all those pretty words and this is it?”

I shake my head and try to explain.

“This and that are two different things... I wasn’t sure what to do with us before, I know now... I know how much I hurt you by doing the wrong thing. By being selfish. Rarity’s-”

“Rarity’s it. She’s the reason this started, but she’s also the reason it’s going to end. Did you forget? I told you. I told you Twi.”

She swivels around in the cramped bathroom so that I can’t watch her choke up.

“I-”

A sniffle.

“I told you. You can’t just change one part of you. The Twilight I loved doesn’t just love me. She has to love everypony.”

I pull her close and bury my face in her mane so that I don’t have to keep whispering. She stiffens as I do it, but I feel her head turn. I lean into her ear and keep my voice low. I try to reach into the organized thoughts I had just twenty short minutes ago, but they’re replaced by a jumble of feelings I can’t articulate.

“I do. I think... I mean, I know I do. I feel like... I’m so lost, Rainbow.”

She turns.

“You can’t be lost. Not anymore. That was the point of today, wasn’t it? You found you. The real Twilight wouldn’t be lost now.”

I’m practically shouting into her mane when I can finally find my voice.

“I questioned her ability to be a mother! I questioned both of them! To their faces, a month before! If I go in now, what can I possibly say? The insecurity is there! It’s in their heads! I can’t take it back! The damage is done! ‘Sorry’ won’t fix it! It won’t come close!”

Her expression blanks.

“Huh?”

“Today... When we spoke... argued... I asked... Well...”

Her hoof slowly extends to my face. I wish she’d slap me and ask for details. It’s what I deserve, isn’t it? Instead, there’s a gentle caress of her hoof across my cheek. She brushes aside the tears that were forming, and she smiles. Where does she summon this level of compassion? Why does she keep having it for me?

“What’d you do, Twi?”

“I... They got into a bunch of trouble. Dangerous trouble. Dangerous for them and the baby. I told them it was dangerous, and I told her she wasn’t acting like... Like a pony who’s expecting a baby. I asked her if she was sure she was ready to be a mother.”

Dash sighs and sits. I join her, and she brushes at my mane a bit while looking at us in the bathroom mirror. It’s not the ugliest picture it could be. Neither of us has cried yet tonight, and I can probably fix up my reddened eyes if I don’t rub at them.

“This stuff’s really not my thing. I’m not just saying so, it really isn’t... I’ve always tried to be that sorta honest with everypony. If I’d been there, I bet Rarity’d be mad at me too.”

I can’t help but laugh and nod. Now that I think about it, Rainbow’s approach to anypony but me is... Well, it’s brutally honest. It always has been. Maybe that’s where I got the strength to be that direct with Rarity. Now the source of my inspiration is blushing and pushing her mane out of her eyes. It looks cute on her when it’s this long and unkempt. I resist the urge to kiss her and tell her so. Right thoughts, wrong time and place. Well... Friend’s bathroom? Wrong time, at the very least.

“Just ‘cause I’d do it though, doesn’t make it good.”

I snap back to looking at her.

“I’ve done that to loads of ponies and hurt their feelings. You were the one who said this party’s all about making Rarity happy, not us, right?”

I nod.

“Well sometimes... Giving advice to a friend is like that.”

I stop and think for a minute.

“Fighting doesn’t have to suck unless you make it, anyways.”

Unrelated point, but true, I suppose.

“Like, I get in fights all the time. Well, got. I don’t get into many anymore. Just little ones. Except for like... Well, not counting us. I don’t know what that was.”

I giggle, and suggest that “Altercation” might be the right term.

“Huh? Yeah, sure. Alterwhatsit I guess. Not sure. But that’s not the point!”

I nuzzle her cheek. There’s something pleasant about being given wisdom by her. It’s refreshing and awkward and unexpected.

“So what is the point?”
‘ “The point is, just ‘cause something’s the truth doesn’t mean you have to be a bitch about it. Sometimes ponies don’t need the truth, they need other stuff. I’m not the best at giving that stuff, but you always have been. And you have to go back to being the one who does that, because I suck at it.”

I turn her head and kiss her. She sighs and returns it. The soft brush of lips we manage to exchange is terribly dry... I hadn’t realized how dry both our mouths were. She finally breaks the kiss and looks at me.

“You get that for courage, but this is it. This is your one shot. Right now, you either go and set things right, or you don’t come back for seconds. You got me?”

I manage a stiff nod. She’s so demanding tonight.

“C’mon. Let’s go. I’ll give you one more push.”

She doesn’t have to grab me by the ear this time, but I know she’s at my back, herding me forward. We make our way down the stairs before we’re spotted by the other girls. Applejack breaks into her typical stride when she catches sight of us, and tries to flag us down for punch, but Rainbow pushes me forward. She gives me one last whisper before turning away.

“I’ll explain things. You go.”

I take another tentative step or two until my ear is pressed against the kitchen door. From the other ear, I can hear Rainbow catch up to Applejack and the others.

“Y’all just get here?”

“Just a minute Applejack. Rarity and Twilight gotta talk.”

“Y’sure?”

I force myself to shut them out so that I can listen at the door again.

“-it then, yes? After this it gets better? No more uncertainty?”

I breathe a sigh of relief. Have they come to a conclusion? Will I still be needed?

A powder blue hoof reaches over my shoulder and knocks on the door for me. I turn back to see Rainbow, Pinkie, Fluttershy, and Applejack at my back. They’re smiling. I’d forgotten how good it could feel to have them at my back. I really have been trying to save this town alone for too long.

I can hear the bar being thrown aside on the other end of the door. Why was it locked? I don’t get to find out. Rainbow’s outstretched hoof swings the door open, and then her other pushes me in roughly. The door slams shut behind me, and I’m greeted by the sight of a kitchen full of scattered and empty cupcake pans. As I look around, I find Rarity in a chair, and her husband up against the wall. I note the icing on her cheek, and make a mental note to ask Rainbow Dash how she would bring up Rarity’s eating habits. No, bad idea. I’ll think of something tactful eventually. I decide to open the more pressing matters the best way I can.

“Rarity-”

She cuts in without a second thought.

“Good evening Twilight. I hope you’re doing well.”
Her voice is entirely deadpan. This is a different sort of angry Rarity. Our average angry Rarity would throw a fit, or cry, or even shout if she thought it ladylike. The fight we had this afternoon was a glimpse of the pony in front of me, an entirely different mare from the one I once knew. How long has she been this different, and how long have I not noticed it?

“I’m doing fine. Yourselves and the foal?”

She wipes away frosting from the corners of her mouth, and dabs her eyes with a napkin.

“We’re physically fine, at least from what you tell me.”

Oh, and now we’re at it. How to apologize? How does it go? I’m sorry. Right.

“A-about that. This afternoon.”

“Twilight, I know what you’re in here to say and it’s no use if Rainbow Dash makes you say it.”

The edge in her voice brings the tightness in my stomach rushing back. I can feel my cheeks burn. If she doesn’t stop taking digs at Rainbow, I’ll slap her senseless and burn this bridge once and for all. I intend to let her know.

“Makes me- She’s not making me say anything, alright? Stop ASSUMING things about us!”

My aggression seems to be the right card at first. She bites her lip in place of words, but then she looks over to him. He strides over next to her and clears the room in two steps. With a pony as big as Rarity dwarfed next to the giant, my idea of slapping her seems foolish. Do spells work on humans? Just how powerless would I be? Did I really come here to fight? I came here to apologize, and I’m trying to decide if I can take on my pregnant best friend, and her lanky and silent spouse. Turn it around. Don’t break down. Change comes slow. Just apologize.

“I think that we’re both... guilty of assuming things, Twilight. And for what it’s worth, I’m sorry that I do. I know you and...”

The apology is on the other hoof, and I’m not expecting it. I almost miss her starting in on Rainbow and I again, but the memory of the girls outside rushes back. I have to cut her off while I can.
“Don’t say anything! Don’t talk about that, alright? Not here, not yet. We’re not ready, and I don’t know who’s listening.”

I can feel myself choking up. I’m dimly aware that she’s nodding and preparing to speak, but I jump in while I still have the courage. I meet her eyes with every ounce of meaning that I can. I promised to help protect her, and her foal. I’m going to be here to do both. I promised Rainbow that my life would never become about just me again, and it won’t. I’m going to be here for this foal, and I won’t cheat her parents out of what little confidence they have left.

“I’m sorry for what I said. I’m sorry because I’m your friend, and I shouldn’t say that. Any pony who works as hard as you did to protect your family, and any pony who asks for help as often as you do, obviously cares about her family and her foal.”

She nods to me. The hint of tears is there. They’re so close to both of our eyes.
“That’s true. And you’re right, you shouldn’t have said what you did to us. But you were right about something else also. There’s more to raising a baby than just wanting what’s best for her. You need wisdom and confidence, as I’ve learned all too recently. And what confidence I get robs me of wisdom sometimes.”

I’m stunned. That last sentence, to me... For me... I want to write it down. To post it on every surface in my home. Celestia herself couldn’t have said it better. How are such perfect sentiments distilled from such seemingly random encounters?

“I’m glad to have a friend who can say what needs to be said, Twilight. Thank you so much for saying the things that must be hardest to say.”

I’m going to cry. I know I am. I try not to cry until I can say my last piece. I pull up my memory of my lie to her. Dash and I aren’t broken up in her eyes. Dash and pinkie were out pranking that day. Right. That was the lie.

“Somehow I didn’t expect you to recognize that. How hard it is to tell one of your friends you think they’re irresponsible that is... But then, you did it too. When you mentioned Dash... and Pinkie still pranking. And she and I aren’t much better when we’re-”

Don’t slip. Wouldn’t it be easy to say? Fighting. I steer clear of the word.

“And we hide, and we don’t want to tell anyone, and we don’t know what they’ll say and-”

I have to get my feelings out to her. Damn the ponies listening at the door if they are. How can everypony but me have been so practiced at living their lives from other ponies’ perspectives? I start to pace the room, and I have to look at the ceiling tiles to keep the tears from trickling down. How could I live for years thinking I was the wisest and smartest pony in this town, when these mares so easily prove me wrong? The sound of her heavy hoof-falls approaching me on the kitchen tile brings my eyes back down, and Rarity pulls me into her side. She’s warm, and soft, and she smells so sweet. Is this motherly side I’m crying into really my old friend? My heart just keeps spilling out.

“And I don’t know what my family would say or hers, or how long she’s felt that way about mares, or just how long she’ll keep feeling for me, or if I’m the only one she’s ever really felt for, and if she wants to settle down ever like you two have done, or if that’s even possible. And if I’m not ready, and if she’s... just as scared.”

I pour every last insecurity out into her side as she shushes me and smooths my mane. I haven’t cried this hard since I drove Dash out of my home weeks ago. When I have nothing left but tears to dry, she levitates a pan of cupcakes over to me. Half of them are already gone.

“You know what I find gives me courage? A nice cupcake or two.”

I note that it’s among good company. From where I’m standing, I can already see three more pans.

“Were those you? You must have needed a-”

I sniffle and try to make myself presentable.

“An awful lot of courage.”

I take one. What the hell? I could use courage. I have a friend at my side again, but we have to go back out into that party, for better or worse. The looming conversation with Rainbow Dash seems inches away suddenly. I resist the urge to bury my face into Rarity’s side again and keep hiding in here a bit longer. She seems to catch on, and rubs her hoof on my back, determined to dole out her first bits of motherly wisdom.

“Well, I have discovered of late that the cupcake isn’t as important as the person who gives it to you. I do believe we find all our confidence when we are safe... Safe among our friends.”

How can she know? It does feel like the moments we used to write letters for so long ago. Is this her way of saying that no matter what happens with Rainbow... I push it out of my mind. I’m going to explain myself to Rainbow. Things with Rarity fell together. She smiles as I take the cupcake.

“Dear Princess Celestia?”

I nod and smile. The name doesn’t hurt to hear anymore.

“Dear Princess Celestia.”

We laugh as we make our way back into the party.

The sound hits us as soon as we’re out the door. Now ponies take turns coming over to greet me, and I note they’re doing the same for Rarity. Dash hurries over to me and pulls me aside as soon as the happy couple break off and take their seats on the sofa.

“So?”

I smile and she throws her hooves around me in triumph.

“I thought so. That’s my girl!”

She rubs my mane, and I can swear I hear a sniffle above the fevered pitch of the party.

“That’s my Twilight.”

I ease my hooves around her and pull her into a bigger hug. Whether or not ponies are staring doesn’t bother me anymore. Under one of her wings, I feel a hard object.

“Dash?”

She looks up at me with a huge sportsmare’s grin. She’s breathless and flushed, and I can’t explain it. For all the world, it looks like she ran a marathon seconds ago.

“Dash!”

“Huh?”

“What’re you carrying? Where are my tickets?”

She blushes a deeper shade of crimson and backs up.

“Well... I wasn’t sure if... Look, I always knew you’d manage things with Rarity, but I figured we could look cool and cover up for what you were talking about if maybe we gave a more traditionally Twilight gift.”

I pull a parenting “How-to” guide book out from under her wing. Did she zip off and get this in the time it took me to make a stumbling, awkward apology? She gives better Twilight Sparkle gifts than I do. I dip into my will and with nothing but a soft popping sound, the book is wrapped. Rainbow tucks it under her wing.

“C’mon. Let’s join ‘em on the couch. They’re calling for us. I think it’s time to open presents anyway!”

We take our seats, and we’re immediately joined by the other girls. There’s barely enough room to squeeze Rarity and her husband onto the couch, but she insists I sit on her other side. We cram on until we can hear it creaking, and Rainbow settles half-onto my lap and half onto the arm of the couch.

So we go through presents, and more presents, and more presents. I have to rely on Rainbow to comment for both of us. The softness of the couch calls to me. I haven’t slept properly in days, even weeks. I cuddle my cheek onto Rainbow’s firm bottom and hope nopony notices as the festivities wind on. If they do, they say nothing. At last, ours is the only gift remaining. Ponies have begun to disperse, and I sheepishly reach under Rainbow’s wing for what will very obviously be a wrapped book. If she guesses what it is, Rarity doesn’t comment until she’s opened it.

Her smile is reward enough. Beside her, he grins too. She sets it carefully atop the pile of gifts she’s accumulated for her soon-to-be, and I give her the envelope next. It might need a bit more explaining, and I prepare to do my best before Dash cuts in.

“This one... this isn’t really fitting for a baby shower, I know. I just- Well, we thought, y’know, you should be there for it.”

They open up the envelope and take out the pair of tickets to the Canterlot Crafter’s expo that I’d been saving for them. It’s this weekend, and it’s the absolute latest I can recommend Rarity leaving the house for an overnight trip.

“Since the baby’s coming in just a few weeks, we thought you should probably drum up some business for the Boutique.”

I’m so glad Rainbow’s here. I take over from her as best I can, thankful that she’s sharing in the responsibility of giving such an odd gift.

“And well, this just seemed appropriate... I mean, because, well...”

Because I had them laying around? No. They can still be thoughtful, right? It’s just sharing. Sharing with... With Rarity, and... I catch sight of his hand, gently rubbing those enormous haunches of hers. They must be soft. The memories of the four of us, together...

Dash bursts out laughing. She’s caught me blushing, and I’ll bet my hoof she knows why I am.

“Ohhh Twilight, you go right ahead and tell her why sharing’s so-”

“Rainbow-”

I clamp a hoof over her mouth. Not with ponies around! Not in-

She licks my hoof. That’s so gross. That’s so second grader. That’s so... Well, Rainbow Dash. I push her head back into one of the couch cushions and look around for a pillow to stuff over her face instead. She’s laughing from behind my hoof, and I’m trying to keep a stern expression and failing.

Rarity finally cuts in. She’s barely keeping her voice below the pitch of a gleeful squeal.

“It’s an honor, Twilight. We’d love to go. Are you sure it’s alright though? These must be so hard to come by!”

I manage a quick smile over my shoulder as I try to kill Dash with Pinkie’s couch.
“Yes. You’re the perfect pony to go. I just know you’ll both enjoy it!”
She turns to her husband and snuggles into his chest, and I resume my work, her words coming in faintly over my shoulder.
“Oh I simply can’t wait! I hear the expo-ball is particularly beautiful. Can you imagine? Dancing all night, a five star hotel, and the next day- oh to speak to some of the designers and craftsponies!”

We’re pulled into a very sudden thank-you hug. Dash tenses as her body lunges forward, and we push off each other to avoid crushing against her stomach. How much can a pregnant mare take there? I snuggle into the hug as best as possible. She’s incredibly soft and squishy, and hugging around the bulge of her stomach is almost impossible. She’s pulled away as the heat of being against a mare’s soft body begins to flood toward my privates. I share a glance with Rainbow and know by a wry smile that she feels the same way. As quietly as I can, I snuggle back up to her flank. She sighs and blushes as I do it. Between the wrestling and being so close to somepony we’ve been intimate with...

“Twilight, Darling?”

Distraction! Perfect!

“Something on your mind, Rarity?”

Hers isn’t the voice that comes out though. I’m surprised when he shushes her and begins to ask in his impossibly deep voice if I can explain why recently her horn was very “sensitive”. He has the luxury of performing air-quotation marks here, and it somehow leaves even less to the imagination than the normal innuendo might. The heat in my privates grows, and I know I’m getting wet as he describes how recently it was very “sensitive”, and now it is not again, and asks why.
I swallow and try to be clinical. I can’t exit the party hormonal at the end of the night or I’ll never manage anything. I risk a glance around and find that the other girls have made an exit long ago to help clean up Rarity’s mess in the Kitchen with Mr. Cake. Only Mrs. Cake is still here cleaning up, the other guests having departed some time ago. I have to hope she’s as good at keeping secrets as an old wivesmare should be. My hooves stray to Dash’s wings as I talk, and the relative vacancy of the living room gives me more courage to be sensual than I should ever have in public. As I reach a hoof down, I brush the scar under her wings. She moans and one of her hooves drifts down her chest. Rarity shifts and sighs at the sight.

I take a deep breath. Things are getting downright indecent at this rate, but I wouldn’t blame them if they did. I know Dash flew quickly recently, and the clinical explanation I try to give is aided by the fact.
“Unicorns and Pegasi sometimes exert themselves too much, whether it’s athletics or magic. It’s no different than if anypony works a certain muscle too hard... But it’s different for everypony, some ponies have their feelings mixed up there. What should ache or hurt feels good or thrilling. If you work it out that way too often, the tenderness can be present throughout the day. As you can see...”

I slip my hoof to her other side and rub the fold of her wing, right on the joint. Her moans turn into a soft grinding on the arm of the couch. I can see where she’s left the smallest hint of wetness. I do my best to drive out thoughts of burying my tongue in there now and tasting what I’ve been aching to have for weeks.

““If you did the kind of magic you told me about... well that’s pretty big stuff, Rarity. It’s possible your horn might be tender after. It’s also possible it might give you a better workout than running about at this point. Just look at me!”

I lean back to emphasize the leanness of my figure. No sense mentioning that I’ve scarcely eaten in weeks. If she works out with her magic, it might save me two battles worth fighting. She blushes at the mention and turns around to give him a kiss. Beside me, Dash eggs them on with a loud “Woo!”

His hand creeps up her back. It clenches slightly while it’s there, and their kisses get more passionate. It’s a possessive gesture at the least. I think I can guess where he’s worried this will go. I chance a glance at Rainbow, and my stomach tightens. If only he knew what we’re going to talk about when we leave the party. If only he knew how remote a possibility his worries were. I study the reclining pegasus, and suddenly screw up my courage. This is it. Be the Twilight Sparkle she loves. Don’t be afraid!

“I think it’s time Rainbow and I got going. Are you two going in our direction? We’ll walk you to your doorstep.”

Rarity straightens her mane from the kissing and nods to me.

“It would be our pleasure to have the company. Just to the doorstep though, I’m positively exhausted.”

Panic floods as she accepts my invitation to actually leave. This is it. I can count the seconds until my confrontation. My chest tightens.

We hit the streets just as it starts raining. Rarity’s poor spouse has armloads of gifts and things. I try to help him by levitating a few things, but he manages the majority of them on his own. Every so often, Rarity looks up at the sky and sighs. After her recent encounter with what rain can do at its worst, I can’t blame her.

Dash lags behind, obviously harboring the opposite opinion. The clouds she set up this morning have at last begun to share their rain with Ponyville. Every so often, Dash stops to stare at them. I know she’s not that absorbed in something she does every day. She can’t be looking forward to the conversation we’re going to have any more than me. That she isn’t excited after everything that’s happened tonight twists my insides and tightens my chest. Can it be possible that as much as we’ve accomplished, she still has misgivings about us? That’s the only reason she’d be as afraid of this meeting as I am. She’s the one calling the shots, after all. But if she’s going to say no, shouldn’t she be at peace with it? Not necessarily, perhaps?

Rarity calls out goodnight, and I realize we’ve begun to walk past the Boutique without them. I levitate the last of their gifts over and wish them well. Then we round a corner, and we’re out of sight. We keep walking, but we’re both obviously aware that we’re neither walking toward the library or the mountains.

The silence is intolerable. Not even crickets are chirping. The wind blows, and the sound of grass blades moving is deafening. I have to break it.

“Rainbow... Let’s go up.”

She looks at me and manages to raise an eyebrow.

“Just like that? You sure?”

I nod. It’s now or never.

I don’t get a word out before her wings beat and she’s in the air. What can I say or do? I wrap my hooves around her neck and shoulders, and she lifts me as if I weighed nothing. Then we’re up into the air. Gradually we gain altitude, not a sign of exertion on her part

I curl my face into her chest and whisper to her.

“Not like this. Not tonight. Take me up like you’d go up.”

She says nothing. I feel her tense up, and then the force of the world disappearing under us yanks me into her arms. She keeps accelerating, keeps speeding up. I risk a glance upward and see the stormclouds she laid out, but they burst aside in seconds. The wall of black clouds is yanked into a funnel in our wake, and the rain that filled them goes with it. She keeps climbing, spinning both of us in a tight roll. When she steadies out, a wall of white looms up ahead. We burst through it into an endless starry night. With a whipping of wind, the funnel of rain she carried with her explodes into a gravity defying shower and drenches every cloud around us. They sink toward Ponyville with a crashing of thunder and lightning as she unleashes a one-mare weather storm.

I pull myself into her body as she leaves the sudden storm behind. When we finally light down on the mountain, I have to sit down. She blows her mane out of her eyes and proudly walks up behind me.

“You ok? Too rough?”

I grab her and pull her into me. Our lips are a locked, tangled mess. If she was trying to crank my sex drive to the fullest, she succeeded. The adrenaline’s gone, and all that’s left is a serious desire to replace it with heavy, mind blowing sex. My tongue works through her lips and she finally finds her spirit as she pushes back. I push the cascading prism of her mane aside so that I can see her eyes. Once I’m satisfied, I close mine and focus on really working the inside of her mouth. Every inch, every second of our lives. Letting go means dying. Letting go is too much. No more letting go.

Then she breaks the kiss. I sigh and flop onto my back.

“You- woah. Jeez.”

She wipes her lips awkwardly and blushes. Our mountain peak shimmers in the moonlight. I’m dimly aware that my back is in snow, and is very cold.

“C’mon, Rainbow. Get closer here.”

I pull her down and she settles in next to me, blushing furiously. I take a deep breath. I don’t have to feel like I’ve just given her my last kiss. Tonight went well. I can explain myself.

“Rainbow-”

She rolls over and kisses me again. I let her straddle me, and all that stops her is my confused moan.

“What? C’mon. You didn’t get worked up over all that stuff? We can sort things out later.”

I kiss her neck.

“Mnnn. That’s a start. Could be rougher though.”

I kiss, and start to suck.

“Pretty weak. Rougher!”

I pull my lips off her.

“Dash please. I... We need to talk!”

“Yeah?”

I turn my head. The snow is frigid on my cheeks. It helps to clear my head of the hormones coursing through me. Their lusty screams quiet as the frost digs into my coat.

“I hurt you, Rainbow. I... The way that we sleep together, the way that we fought that night... You shouldn’t keep coming back. You should be running. Please... This is your last chance. I’m... I’m weak, too. If you give me the chance, I’ll stay by your side, but... it might...”

She pulls back.

“Woah. Slow down.”

I get a gentle shove, and she forces me to look her in the eyes. Every word is punctuated with a hoof gesture- from herself to me. Over, and over. It’s practically hypnotic.

“Let’s not let you do all the talking. I’ll talk now. First off, one fight doesn’t mean a trend!”

I snort.

“I left you in need of stitches.”

“By accident! You wanted me out, sure. Did you want me in stitches?”

I think for a second.

“No... but accidents can still hurt you!”

She pulls me into her.

“You dummy. I tried to tell you before. The danger doesn’t matter. I’m a daredevil! This is what I do! I live for the danger!”

I sigh and roll my eyes. This is what I'm worried about.

“Wait. That came out wrong.”

“...Did it?”

“Oh for pony’s sake!”

She pushes me onto my back and pins me. Her hooves are like iron.

“I love you! I’ve said that before. I’ve said it! Ok? And I’m sorry too! I love how rough you get during sex. It cranks me up, it doesn’t make me scared! I love it! You could be rougher, and it’d be fine! It’d get me going even harder! Rub my bruises, tickle my hooves, spank me, hit my scars, gag and blindfold me, use your freaking teeth on me!”

She’s shouting now. Her hooves have pulled mine onto her haunches, and they’re forcing me to squeeze.

“But don’t you ever think you’re taking advantage of me. You really think I’d let myself get pushed over for that? Me? You think I’d let somepony abuse me?”

I gape, and she closes my mouth for me with her hooves.

“There. Now. That problem’s done. Talk.”

My head swims and I struggle for a new starting point. She folds her arms as she waits, but she doesn’t have to wait long.

“I... It’s just that I’ve changed, Rainbow. It’s not all physical hurt. I’ve gotten so jaded. But I’m so tired of being this way. I want to change again. I’m sorry, I really am. I got so wrapped up in the life I thought I was forced to life, that I started to resent everypony. I even took it out on you. And I’m sorry. It shouldn’t have come back to you.”

She swallows and looks away from me.

“Yeah? So? Why’d you do it? You- I looked up to you for this! I didn’t realize how different things were until you were shouting at me to leave you. Until you picked Her over me.”

The Princess. That’s what it’s come back to. It was bound to.

“I couldn’t have... I thought I loved her, Dash. I thought I did, and I clung to it. I wouldn’t leave it. I couldn’t leave it! It was all I’d known for so long. She’s the only pony in Equestria who knows what it’s like... How tiring it is to have everypony always asking for things!”

Her ears flatten at this, but she kisses my cheek.

“Not the only pony.”

I swallow and nod.

“No, not the only pony. I didn’t know it until we started... staying, together. How much everypony needs you. How you might be just as lonely.”

“It’s been this way for as long as I can remember, Twi. It’s lonely at the top. Everypony relies on you. They want strength in their lives. Everypony I’ve ever dated has. They don’t get it! They don’t. They don’t understand that sometimes, you just want to-”

“to be the one who leans on somepony else for a change.”

I finish it for her, because I’ve said it before. I’ve never dated anypony before Rainbow, but I know it. It’s the reason I’ve spent most of my life cuddling up to my pillow, wishing somepony stronger than me would hold me for just a minute.

I look at the only pony who has, and smile. I plod on as best I can with that courage.

“Today I realized though, that I... I’ve never loved her.”

Dash tilts her head. It feels so liberating to say it. I have to stop and kiss her again. Her hooves rub up my sides.

“I’ve never loved her. Admired? Yes. Worshiped? Practically. Wanted, even desired? Yes. But it’s not the same. I spent so long sticking to feelings for her that had disappeared so long ago. I thought what I had for her was love, but it wasn’t...”

I look at Rainbow Dash.

“Love is... Oh, how do you even describe it? If infatuation is finding somepony to be flawless, what is love? It’s seeing somepony’s flaws... And understanding them. And not giving up on them.”

I shake my head. This is terrible, and badly explained.

“What you had for me when you came back... What I have for you. That’s love. I love you, Rainbow Dash. And I don’t care who knows it. I don’t care anymore! I love you!”

She buries her face into my chest, and I rub her mane.

“Twilight, I-”

“I’m still scared.”

I interrupt her, but I’m not sorry.

“I’m still scared. Of everything. Of us. Of ponies knowing. I want to be strong, but I’m just... I’m not as strong as everypony thinks, Rainbow. All this, this is the result of that. The result of trying to be Her, and keep ponies at a distance, and protect them, and still feel for them. I can’t do it... I don’t know what to do now. I was so sure, for the longest time, I’d just keep everypony away. When you came into my life, I... I had the chance for something, for the first time. To be with a pony who didn’t need me, who just wanted to be held like I want to be held sometimes. And now that I have you, I’m scared. I don’t know what to do. What do I do now?”

She lies down across my chest, and says it as if it’s the most matter of fact thing in the world.

“You love me. The world doesn’t need another lonely princess.”

Under her weight, the snow digs into my coat. I shiver, and her eyes widen. She notices for the first time that I might be cold.

“You ok? I mean, it’s... It’s cold up here, but that’s kinda normal for me.”

I shiver and nod.

“Hey, c’mon. Hop on, let’s go warm up at your place.”

My teeth are chattering, but I wrap my legs around her waist.

“Warm me up here.”

“Hey. You owe me. You should warm up with uh... A little starter.”

She blushes at the shameless request for sex so close to all our apologies. I can’t help but grin as she lays on her back and spreads her legs. The snow matted into her mane adds another dimension to it. She looks so odd outlined in white. I lower down to her marehood, and I can feel the heat on it. It’s a welcome heat. I start to lick in slow circles, and her moans fill my ears in a sweet harmony with the snow crunching under her body.

“Twi...”

I kiss her clit.

“My Twilight... Is it real this time?”

I lean in and lick a line up her chest. It’s so cold.

“Yes...”

I kiss at one of her nipples. The cold has hardened them, and I can see them past the part of her coat that’s thinned.

“I’m your Twilight”

It feels good to say it.

“My Dash.”

I pull her closer to me.

“My Dash.”

I return to slow circles on her lower lips.

“Yeah... Your Dash. Always your Dash. Your Dash forever.”

I can feel her legs tightening and flexing. In the snow, her shivering body writhes against mine.

“Twi-”

I keep licking, harder, faster.

“Twi!”

I plunge my tongue in at last, giving her what she wants. The taste I’ve been craving for weeks fills my mouth. Her taste. My Dash’s taste.

“Canterlot!”

I stop licking.

“I- You’re freezing. Look at you!”

I hold up two hooves. They’re certainly shaking.

“C’mon. Let’s warm up. Give me a spell or something at least!”

I nod and dip into my will. It’s easy to find a warming spell. Soon the circulation in my body isn’t as painful. I tap my horn to Dash’s forehead next. As I do it, her fetish gets the better of her, and she starts to lick at it. In seconds, the heat coursing through her body melts the snow off of her.

“That’s more like it. C’mon. Use your horn.”

I nod and ask how she wants it.

“Huh? How about like this!”

I laugh and let her straddle me. Her lips find their way to mine, and her tongue fights mine with all the ferocity it can muster. She pins my hooves down and sits up, looking down at me. She has to blow her rainbow mane out of her eyes before she can get a proper idea of what to do next...

“C’mon Rainbow. Look at these haunches. They won’t squeeze themselves.”

I wiggle under her for emphasis, and she lowers herself down to my marehood. Both hooves clench my bottom as she slides her tongue into the deepest parts of me. It’s been a couple weeks, but she still knows every spot. Hers is a practiced method, honed over our months together. I let her squeeze my haunches more. A moan escapes my lips as she keeps swirling around inside me. The wetness of her tongue mixes with my own juices, and I desperately wish we had something to slip inside besides her tongue and wings.

She keeps licking, and one hoof strays up to my clit. It’s a gentle massage, not the rough rub-down that she loves to have done to her. I lay back and let her sweep me away into bliss again. In between gasps, I grip at her mane and pull her face further into my pussy. I can feel the heat of her breath, the wetness of her tongue as it licks every untouched inch of my insides. When I can’t take it anymore, I pull her face up.

“Twi?”

I pull her up until I can grip her haunches and turn her.

“Talk to me, don’t just-ooh.”

When I’ve finally got her positioned over my face, and her face hovering over mine, what I intend to do sinks in.

“I donno how long I can-”

I slip my tongue in and her voice goes up by a fifth.

“keep goiiiing, if you do thaaat.”

She does it though. Her tongue returns to my snatch, licking and suckling and swirling over my clit and lower lips. I’m in a slightly better angle, and I bury my tongue in. The taste and scent fill my senses, and I sigh, in heaven at last. Each lap of my tongue brings her closer, and before long her whole body is shaking as she tries to keep licking me while inches away from her own orgasm. I only stop to warn her not to bite her tongue, and all I get in reply are moans and the tightening of her legs around my head. I lick deeper and play with her. After a moment, I slide my tongue in a triangle shape, and withdraw from her.

“What shape did I just lick, hmm?”

She stops kissing at my clit.

“I... I... how should I-”

I lick a triangle inside her again.

“C’mon, little Dashy. What shape?”

“I... I dun- Squaaare.”

I slap her flanks and lick it again.

“You’re just guessing!”

“Nnhhaaa. Go slower then! It all feels too-”

I lick again and manage a throaty “Mmnnmm” as she begins to guess incorrectly again.

“Ci-Triangle. Ohhh, that’s a triangle. Ohhhh. Oh yeah.”

Her legs tighten their death grip around my head and pull me in closer, and I keep licking that shape into her until she’s wiggling and threatening to twist my neck with her kicking and flopping around.

“Warmed up? Let’s do our alphabet.”

I giggle and slap her flanks before licking in the letter “I”.

“Line... Line with... some... H? No. Iaaaahn. I. I!”

It’s a serif I. Yes, I’m impressed. I manage an L next, and she guesses it between desperate swears.

Around the time I hit “O”, she has her first squirting orgasm of the evening. It fills my mouth, it runs down my face, it mats into my coat. I slurp and lick and drink down every drop of her sweet juices that I can manage. It’s hot, and it’s full of her tangy, semi-sweet taste. Some mares probably freak out when their partner squirts. I love it. I push my tongue in deep, desperate to lap up every drop. One of my hooves strays between my legs and begins to rub ever so slightly. The snow around us is a complete mess from where we’ve thrashed around in it. I lick “V” next.

“U...?”

I spank her flanks.

“V! Gotta... ohhh. Nhhaaa. Cute.”

“Do I need to finish?”

Her voice comes out testily from the other side.

“Mnn... I wish you would.”

I barely finish E before the next orgasm steals her out of my hooves. Her wings take her a good foot away from me before she lands, rubbing her still sensitive and dripping privates.

“Mmm... Dash, come back! I have to... clean up that mess.”

I chase her into the snow, but she tackles me and kisses me. I slide a hoof between her soaked legs and lick it clean before I press my lips to hers. Our tastes mingle, and I sigh as her hoof works its way to my hot lower lips.

“Don’t just... Gotta do something fun. I played a game with my tongue!”

She’s such a cheater. Just dives right in and leaves me a wet, hot mess through the most direct means. I read entire books on the subject, she just has a wealth of experience at making it happen fast, hard, and good.

I guide her hoof up to my chest.

“Dash... Be with me. Every night... Please?”

I meet her eyes, and she smiles and nods. She’s got the hint. Slow and tender tonight. Just a bit more tender than what she’s planning.

Her soft rubbing starts. I shift a bit and kiss her cheek, before grabbing the hoof in my privates and rubbing harder. After a minute of soft stimulation, I sigh. We’ve been too active to shift down a gear now.

“Alright... We can be a little more rough tonight.”

She leans up, likely confused by my flip-flopping.

“You wanna? Uh... You know what you like... Show me what you wanna do!”

I nod and she slides back.

“How do you want it?”

It’s a simple matter to get into position. With Dash on her back and her legs spread, I situate myself between them. When she’s ready, I rest my marehood atop hers. I can feel everything rubbing against her. She shifts under me. It’s perfect. My weight keeps it rough as I grind on her, but as she reaches up and pulls me into a close hug, her lips against mine... It’s just right. Our improvised missionary is the right mixture of tender and rough for a midnight romp in the snow.

I slip my lips against hers, and feel her shift under me to add a bit more stimulation. One of her hooves gropes until it grabs my bottom. I can feel her squeezing it, and blush at the amount of give it still provides after two weeks of severely undereating. Despite her recent introversion, her own flanks still hold the hallmark musculature that I’ve come to love about her body. Every inch ripples with drive and power. I roll us over as quickly as I can. She can do so much more on top than I can.

She does, too. Every ounce of those muscles works to grind not just in the direction of our bodies, but in circles that begin slow and end rough and fast. As she holds me in her arms, one hoof plays along my mane. It reaches down to cup my face. I can’t help but let out a moan as she finally finds the right spot with her gentle rotations against my marehood. She picks up in speed and rubs against me harder, and my moans fill the night air. I can see my breath stretching up to the moon and stars above us. The hair flicks and flies out of her mane as she works harder. Around our hot bodies, melted patches have begun to form. I accept her hoof and bite down to avoid starting a landslide with my customary vocal performance. A moan escapes her lips too as I bite down, and somewhere in the haze of pleasure I make a mental note to nibble on my Dashie the next time we bed down.

She continues to grind against me, and I spit her hoof out of my mouth and pull her in for a kiss. As soon as she’s there, my hooves fly back to her haunches and continue to rub them. Each thrusting, grinding rotation flexes and bunches her muscles against me. The sheer strength with which she can make love to me blows me away. I know I’m moaning her name into our kisses, I know my teeth latch down on her lip until I can taste the faintest hint of blood. She cums on top of me as soon as I do it, and the shaking of her body finally drives me over the edge. The heat of our passionate lovemaking courses through my body and I swear that on the cold mountaintop I can see it leaving both our bodies.

She collapses next to me, and I pull her in close, rubbing her back and haunches further. My joints are twitching under the strain of our sex. Every inch of me is aching to be rubbed and licked and kissed by her. On top of me, the heaving of her chest finally slows until she can speak to me. She pushes herself up with her hooves and wipes her forehead in a vain attempt to get her mane out of her eyes again.

“Twi... Oh... It was... That was really good.”

I fondle her haunches for a moment longer before sliding my hooves around her body to her nipples. I rub soft circles until she can’t prop herself up over me anymore, and she practically melts onto my body. Her lips find mine, and I kiss at her again. Little pecking kisses break across my lips. I pant and try to catch my own breath.

“We... We need to have more makeup sex. More often.”

“Yeah... If I’d only known... We’d... have had to fight more often.”

I guide her hooves down, between my legs. She toys there with a smile, her breath rolling down my shoulder as she rubs my intimate spots softly.

“Another go?”

I nod and push my sweat-soaked mane out of my face.

“Maybe, I just need to catch my breath.”
I look at the mare who’s given up everything to stay with me and can’t help but kiss her again. She closes her eyes, and doesn’t bother to reopen them when our lips part. She just lies there, chest rising and falling, hooves rubbing soft circles over my body. The weight of her body feels so right. I know I’ll sleep better every time she’s in my bed. I have been ever since we met.
“Stay with me tonight... Rainbow.”

She rests her head on my chest, and I rub her mane.

“Tonight, and every night. I love you, Twilight Sparkle.”

I’m slipping off into post-coital bliss as she whispers those words over and over in my ear. Each time, I manage to whisper them back a little more quietly. High atop a windy, frigid peak that overlooks ponyville, I start to fall asleep with a smile in the arms of the mare of my dreams. As her breathing softens, I close my eyes, and let the words roll through my mind.

“I love you too, Rainbow Dash.”