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Entry 2: Cunnilingus, Romance, Tribadism, Light Bondage Themes, Light Domination Themes

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36th of Winter, 1009PN

“Timeless beauty in sky o’erhead

May yet quell this feeling of dread;

For in the warmth of her radiant face,

I might still find a humble subject’s place.

And on the shadows of that light I hide,

Afraid still to rest fore’er at her side.”

Diary,
Yesterday was easily my worst day of the week. I’m becoming increasingly concerned with my “relationship” with Dash, and yesterday was filled with all sorts of clarity and confusion. As many questions as it answered, it raised a dozen more. I may be moving in the distant future, but I may be getting ahead of myself in talking about it. Let me start at the beginning of my day.

Knocking. I always wake up to the sound of knocking. Sometimes I roll over and pretend I can sleep through it. I try now. When it carries on for another few minutes I finally roll out of bed with a yawn and stumble down the stairs, through the living room, and up to the door. It's the mailmare. She stands there wall eyed and grinning as she adjusts her saddlebags. If I was in a better mood, I might ask her how her day was going, how her daughter was doing, or if that rain visor I mended a week ago is holding up well. Considering that I've just woken up, my silence is probably a kindness. I'm rarely coherent or kind this early.

I give her a look that should be much nicer than it is as I sign for a package. She tilts her head as I do it, and I look to where one of her eyes stares. Bruises, hickeys, and scratches all up my body. No wonder she looks confused, I must look like I just wrestled a bear. I stammer out an awkwardly worded thank you and close the door on her before more blushing can give me away. When I turn around my vision is filled with bright blue pegasus.

“Think she saw me?”

I can't hold back a laugh, but I try my best to hide it in a derisive snort.

“Were you behind me the whole time, just flapping there?”

She moves in a little closer, wingbeats barely making a sound.

“Not... the whole time. Just wondering what you'd have done if I'd...”

I finish closing the distance. My lips up against hers. She doesn't say anything, just touches down, hooves wrapping around my back and smoothing out my bedtossed mane. Somewhere I'm aware of the distant sound of mail and my new package falling to the floor. My hooves are needed elsewhere. I pull her in closer and press my tongue into her mouth. She lets me do it, doesn't even try to contest it with hers, just slides it over and over mine as I lick every inch of the inside of her mouth. Somewhere in all of the tastes, I find strawberries. I break the kiss.

“How long have you been up?”

She eases onto her back and tries to bat her eyes at me. The effect, at least on a pony like Rainbow Dash, is funnier than it is innocent.

“Who me? I've been up since you got up.”

I grin and settle down next to her, scooping up the fallen package and rubbing it on her chest. She moans as I kiss a line down her chest to her waist.

“Oh Rainbow. Be honest with me now. You’ve already had breakfast. You're always up before me these days. It's supposed to be the other way around.”

“You keep taking forever to get up! I woke up at freakin' noon, how'd you sleep past that?”

“Well, somepony's been keeping me busy in the evenings.”

I'm not exaggerating. Every evening, for a week now. I'd been worried that first morning; worried that I'd wake up and she'd be gone. Instead she'd snuggled into my back and thanked me for a good night. Rainbow Dash snuggling? I'd almost jumped out of my skin in shock. But how could I deny her when she showed up for dinner that night again? I wanted everything to keep happening just the way it did, perhaps sans a few degrees of awkwardness. So far, it has. She comes over every night ,we make a dinner, talk about our days, spend some time reading. She hasn't gone home one night all week. Sometimes I bother to make up excuses, the lateness of the hour or the weather. I'm fairly certain I don't need to.

Today is Saturday, but we both have things to do. I don't let it stop me. With a quick pull on the tape the plain brown box is opened. Rainbow sits up next to me to inspect the contents.

“Told ya you'd be excited by the time it got here.”

I roll my eyes. Color me skeptical, but I'm not interested in colts, and I've explained it before. Rainbow was insistent, and I caved, but it doesn't make me doubt it any less. Still... maybe she's more perceptive than I figure she is. This has been a fantasy of mine lately.

I pull out the dildo and wave it in front of her face.

“This? This doesn't excite me.”

She rolls onto her side and raises an eyebrow, hooves traveling down the length of my body. Every inch she covers is warmed, and her touch sends prickles up my back. She knows it, and she's smiling when she replies.

“Huh. Excites me. No offense, but you kinda feel a little excited too.”

“Thinking of what you'll do with that. That's what's got me excited. That's all.”

“Uh-huh. Same time tonight then?”

I've got things to do today, and so does she... I bite my lip thinking about them. They're filed away, categorized. They can still be done if I'm quick. She's on the verge of standing when I stop her.

“Tonight? Do you reeeeaaally want to wait that long?”

“Hah! Here, on the floor? Shouldn't we make it a special occasion?”

“It's just a piece of rubber, Rainbow.”

She sighs and looks out the window of the library. Did I say something wrong? It's nothing more than that to me.

“C'mon. I gotta get flying. Clouds don't organize themselves.”

“Breakfast?”

“Already had some strawberries. Remember?”

“See you tonight?”

She manages a smile.

“You bet.”

As soon she's out the door I roll over onto my hooves and chuck the box out of sight.

What am I doing? I don't love this pony. We still haven't talked about what all this is supposed to be, but it's not dating. I don't consider it to be, at any rate. I have no idea what she considers it to be, and that worries me. I don't want to hurt her feelings. I think I just did. I consider going after her, but I'm not sure if she wants other ponies to know what we're doing, and anything like that would certainly out the both of us. I don't want to think about being outed.

I need to talk to somepony. I have nopony to talk to about it. I need to get my things together. I need breakfast, and to get this library organized. I don’t have time to break down over this, or be weak, or pretend it’s something I can’t handle. We’ll just talk about it tonight. She’ll come over, we’ll have dinner like we have every night since this started, and after... well. We’ll see. We need to talk about it.

I scoop up the mail and set it on the kitchen table. Priorities have changed in the half minute it takes to reach it. I smell like sex and sweat, and I look like a mess. If anypony comes to call while I’m having breakfast- a likely possibility in this town of dependants- just answering the door will be an embarrassment. I head up the stairs to the bathroom. As the water runs I sit in front of the mirror, examining the marks that constant sex has left on my body. I know Dash has similar ones, and I wonder how she hides them. Her coat’s a lighter color and the bruises likely show easier. I suspect I’m not as rough as she is though. When I can get a good climax out of her...

I can feel heat spreading in my privates and hormones obscuring reason. I try to push them to the back of my mind, but decide against it. I need a clear head today. Get the hormones out of the way, right? Rainbow should have helped me... she helps me every morning. Surely she feels it too, how hard it is to go a day without sex once you’ve had it for the first time? I’ve been waiting my whole life for it. I have a lot of catching up to do.

I slide down into the basin as the shower water steams out over me. I let it rain down on me, working my hooves to force my legs further apart so that it can wash over me in full. Slowly, steadily, one hoof starts to work in circles. The heat spreading through my body has nothing to do with the shower- half my body still hasn’t been exposed to the water. I let my memories drift into the last few nights, a whirlwind of bedsheets and hot bodies. Her wings wrapping around me. Her soft hooves touching every spot properly. The way she suckles at my clit, the way she begs me in soft whispers to cum for her as her hooves pick up speed.

I return to thoughts of how she locked her legs with mine, how we’d rubbed so roughly against one another. I’d always fantasized sex as soft and gentle, but she’s an expert at being a wild animal. She’s unafraid to spend a half an hour using just her tongue to make me scream and shake. She constantly pushes me to be rough back. Every night, a little more. Last night I had to pin her to the bed, straddle her face, run my hooves through her prismatic mane and grip it as if I were riding some creature gone mad as she assaulted my every private inch with her tongue.

I slip back to reality as I feel the pleasure building, coiling up in my chest like a spring. I have to focus on me now. I soften my touch and increase my speed, three spare legs kicking and flexing involuntarily as I reach a pinnacle of pleasure and come crashing back down, breathing ragged. Sound drifts back into my senses, loud and shocking. The relaxing beat of a shower spout on my bathtub has never seemed so thunderous, the rising and falling of my chest is eerily frantic as my own heavy breathing assaults my ears.

Just like that, stress slips away. I smile, and even manage a laugh. Just as fast as it comes, guilt follows. I need to make a decision about Dash. I believe that my heart belongs to another pony, even if I share my body with her. I hope she understands.

I shampoo my mane, body, and tail in silence while I try to think about what I have to do today. Library needs organizing. With magic it’ll take minutes. Groceries need buying. There’s no Spike to do that now. For that, meals need planning. I can save some time if I leave the cookbooks out. In fact, I’ll get the recipes first, then put all the books away, cookbooks included. It’ll save on time. No more dragonfire. I need to get the oven fixed up. I’ve never needed it in the decade and a half I’ve spent in the library. Make a list of spare parts. Keep the lists separate, but keep track of the master list...

I finish washing out the soap and lay on my stomach for a minute, letting the water hit my face. I don’t particularly like it, the temporary blindness that comes with clenching my eyes shut always leaves me a bit scared. When I can’t take not knowing any more, I move my tail around my body and bury my face in it. It smells like mint shampoo and plain conditioner. Fairly plain. I’m not big on scents. Dash has mentioned liking them before though. I add “scented conditioner” to the mental list. Maybe smelling like a bed of roses won’t hurt my chances of keeping this good thing going.

It takes a few more minutes to gather up the guts to get out of the shower and really start my day. I remind myself that it’s not that big of a deal, that there can’t be that much to do beyond the simple categories I’ve already outlined. I just have to hurry through it and I can come home, have a nice dinner, maybe curl up in a warm bed with Dash... Failing that, read a good book. I twist off the taps and towel myself from head to toe.

Lunch is a celery wrap with lettuce, tomato, carrots and ranch dressing. Quick, easy, efficient. Also the last bits of food I can find in the house. I scoop up some recipe books and start to jot down meals, wondering whether I should consider Rainbow in any of this. She likes fruits over vegetables. Sweet things like cantaloupe, watermelon, strawberries. I whistle as I jot down some of her favorites. Her mouth tasted lovely this morning. Not many ponies can brag about that.
I thumb through the mail as I finish my meal, and stop at a navy blue envelope. Royal postage? I slide my hoof under the fold of the letter, break the Princess’ personal wax seal, and perhaps too quickly yank the parchment out. It’s been a very long time since I saw this sort of correspondence- she must know that Spike’s gone, then. I hadn’t even thought to tell her. I hadn’t really expected to get many letters from her after leaving Canterlot.
The letter doesn’t improve my day at all. In it, she invites me to teach at the university in Canterlot. She’s offering me a fulltime professorship- exactly the kind of thing I’ve always wanted... but at her side. I force myself to swallow my wrap. It tastes foul and sticks to the roof of my very suddenly dry mouth. I pour myself a glass of water as I turn it over in my head. The implications of being a member of the Princess’ court on a fulltime basis are too many to overlook. It’ll get to be... close to her. Forever. Is that a good thing, or a bad one? An image of her slowly forms in my mind. Beautiful. Unaging. Understanding. One of the only beings in the cosmos who understands what it’s like to have to push through fire to do the simplest things, and just what that fire can amount to. I’ve seen her do things even I can’t do. Watched every inch of lovely, graceful figure raise the very sun that every one of us owes our lives to.
She deserves a quick answer, but I don’t think I have one. I need to put it on the to-do list. Talk to the Princess. From the tone of the letter, my professorship would begin in fourteen months. This is the ruler of all of Equestria though. My reply should be prompt. I’ll get to her as quickly as possible. I add “Write Letter to Princess” down, but scratch it out in favor of “Decide entire life’s future.” That feels a little more honest, and a little less juvenile.
List completed, I scoop up some canvas bags and start to move the recipe books back to their proper places. It’s not hard to animate them with magic, sending them soaring through the air to stack up on shelves. I’m standing in that familiar coldness in seconds, pushing all distractions out forcibly. When the last book slides into place I sigh. I wonder as I lock up the library if Rainbow will keep her promise and show up tonight.
The rain starts just as I step into the store. I wonder if it’s a coincidence, or if she’s up there somewhere watching me, making sure I stay dry. Would she do that? She wouldn’t have before, friends or not. I’m not sure why I suddenly think she would. I try to forget about her until tonight, and fill my saddlebags with healthy foods. Rice. Peppers. Onions. Pineapple. Some Tofu. Broccoli. Stirfry? Check. I stop in the fruit aisle for the fruit salads when a familiar voice catches my ear.

“H-hey. Twilight! Twilight Sparkle!”

That nervous tone says plenty. She wants something. They always do.

“Hey Carrot Top. Things going well?”

“Yes. Well, no. Not entirely. But you don’t want to hear about those things. How are things for you?”

She’s right, I really don’t want to hear about her problems. I’m supposed to be grocery shopping. That should be an easy process. Nopony should get requests made of them when they’re just trying to take care of themselves. I’m always mystified when I let my mouth do the talking instead of my brain. I can’t believe my ears when my voice conveys sincere interest.

“Oh, I’m fine. Are things not going well for you? Is something wrong?”

“Well... It’s just that this month’s harvest is a little behind. The rain’s not coming like we’d hoped, and the wild animals keep getting into my patches.”

“Hmm. Rainbow Dash should be able to take care of the rain, and Fluttershy should be able to handle the animals. Was there something I could help you with, specifically?”

I try to be kind about it, but this happens all too often. Ponies with talents much more suited than mine are almost never requested of. Princess Celestia’s teachings warn any magician that “Magic is both ponykind’s greatest strength and it’s greatest weakness”.
Most ponies don’t study her teachings. They don’t realize the double intention there. Friendship is our world’s greatest strength, but using magic to fix everything... well, that’s the idea anyway. It doesn’t get practiced as often as anyone means to.

Carrot Top cuts into my internal rhetoric.

“It’s just that... I’ve talked to them, but I’m still behind. Isn’t there anything you can do?”

I shrug. Growth spells could work, but they tend to be hard on the earth. There’s a reason Unicorns don’t farm. No amount of magical accuracy can match that innate understanding of the ground. We usually tear the heart and soul out of the soil trying to use it the way Carrot’s suggesting. Any farmer knows that, which means that if she’s really asking me for help, there must be something else going on here.

“Carrot, is there anything I should know about?”

“Nothing... really. The animals just did a lot of digging. I mean, a lot of digging. There’s barely anything growing in my garden now. I know it’s bad for it, but I really need the help. We won’t make the quota to winter if we don’t get back into it.”

“We?”

“Well... myself and all the farmers.”

“All the farmers?”

“Most of us.”

This is a little more serious. I sigh. I really will have to get involved if it’s as bad as she says.

“Let me finish up my shopping and I’ll come with you.”

Her face bursts into a smile.

“Sure!”

I throw together a few more meals in my basket. It should get me through the week. Carrot Top never leaves my side as I finish going through the aisles, occasionally trying to start a conversation as I navigate my very first shopping list. It’s not as easy as I assumed it would be. I don’t know where most things are, and I end up having to ask her. She leads me to each one with a happy smile, chatting about any number of things. It’s funny how a simple yes has changed her attitude.

“Making cheesy potatoes?”

I look up from the list. She’s not there. Behind me? Yes. Reading over my shoulder.

“Yeah. I’m... not really good at it yet.”

“Hmmm. Rarity makes them every year for the Ponyville cooking fair. They’re pretty nice. You should get her recipe!”

Actually, it was her potatoes that made me want to learn to make my own. Carrot doesn’t need to know that though. She also doesn’t need to know that her continued breathing on the back of my ear is pulling me back to last night with every syllable.

Sex drive is like some kind of fishing hook, honestly. Think one thought about it, then try to think about something else. Your mind can’t stay away for long. It’s only a matter of time until hormones pull you back in. Don’t think of purple ponies? That’s a casual level of mind games. Don’t think about sex? You’ll be rubbing your privates down in a bathroom in a half an hour. It wasn’t always like that for me.

“I think she uses two more kinds of cheese.”

“...Yeah?”

“Want me to find them for you?”

“...yeah.”

As soon as she’s out of sight I’m hurrying toward the canned foods aisle. Healthy? It’s going out the window, I need to get out of here fast. While she does that, I hurry to finish my list, one way or the other, free of distractions. She returns with two wedges of cheese as I put the last of the fruits into my basket and head for the register.

I pay, wait for Carrot to pay for her various odds and ends, and hurry out the door. I don’t remember the rain until we’re outside and in it. With the wind picking up, it’s hard to hear Carrot. She compensates for it by sidling up next to me. Each time she steps she sways her hips. I never noticed she was so feminine. When her flank brushes mine I try to think of something other than the last week. I try not to think of Rainbow Dash coming over tonight. If I can just make it past Carrot’s chores, get to the hardware store, repair the oven... Mental list. Stick to the mental list.

“Twilight? Where are you going?”

I’ve continued walking, and she’s stopped at her farmstead. I need to get it together.

“I’m sorry. Just trying to keep track of all the places I need to be going today.”

I manage to end it with a nervous laugh, and she smiles.

“I hope this doesn’t take too long.”

She opens the gate to her garden and I step into it. It looks like something’s run through it. Whatever it is that did the digging was big, too. Bears? In ponyville? I make a mental note to ask Fluttershy if she really knows what did the digging before I reach into my magic.

There’s a lot of heat inside right now. Memories of last night thunder up into my senses, and the heat burns at me. Pushing past it takes a great deal of effort. I’m not sure where to begin, so I start filing away all the memories like She taught me. Dash’s hooves go in a box, and I lock it away. Memories of her tongue, another shelf. The rising heat in my privates threatens to push back as I re-experience everything I’ve been consumed by since Carrot’s breath drifted across the back of my neck a half an hour ago. I force it back down with sheer force of will. Slowly, everything cools. The earth scoops itself up, moves back into place. Vegetables take root once more, they grow from seeds to saplings. The earth groans in my mind, and I gently wall it out with an apology. When I’m done, her garden looks just like it should.

“Better?”

“Oh Twilight, it looks amazing, just amazing! Thank you... thank you so much!”

“You’re going to have to work that soil hard next year, I think...”

She rests a hoof on the leaf of a tomato vine and her smile threatens to reach from one ear to the other.

“It’s alright. We’ve had a tough couple years. I know it’ll understand. It always does.”

I force myself to swallow. Even between plant and pony, that level of relationship never ceases to amaze me. She knows her ground inside and out.

I sound weak. I try to put a little bit more confidence in my speech I get to her name. Nothing to see here. Magic that simple, tiring me out? Nah. Not for the Princess’ star student. No trouble at all for the one who she wants to teach magic at her university.
“Is that everything you needed, Carrot?”

“Oh. Yeah, I guess it is. Sure you won’t come in for tea?”

I don’t think I can sit in a room with anypony right now. I need to get my oven parts and get home. I decline in a voice all too distant sounding and rush away as fast and politely as possible. Once I’m out of sight I make a beeline for Hammer and Sickle’s hardware shop as fast as my heavy saddlebags will carry me.

The oven needs new coils, and it needs rewiring. I’ve looked it over a dozen times in a book. I’m still not sure I’ll do it correctly, but I’m determined to try. I head through the racks of things I’ll never use or buy to the ones I never thought I’d use or buy a week ago. I probably wouldn’t have found what I was looking for if he wasn’t standing right next to it.

Rarity and her husband, in the hardware store? I had no idea the boutique needed repairs. Yet there he stands, unmistakable and towering over the electric wiring section. He doesn’t notice me, too busy turning over bits of wire in those hands, each thing piece likely up for inspection. Rarity notices me though, and she seems happy for the distraction.

“Twilight?”

I can’t duck behind something in time. I take the opposite approach and trot up. Talking to Rarity might take my mind off... everything that’s currently on it.

“Twilight! I knew it was you. Such a lovely purple coat simply can’t be easily mistaken. What brings you to the hardware store?”

I smile at the open compliment, and I know she means it. The last pony to say something kind about my coat and mane was... Rarity clears her throat. An awkward pause has crept in while I digested the compliment and digressed quickly into thoughts of last night again.

“Oh. Oven parts.”

“Oven parts? Something broken at the library?”

I nod.

“It’s been broken all along. I’ve just never needed it. I’m not really even sure how to rewire it, if I’m honest. I mean, I know the specifics, but...”

“It’s hard to fix something with magic with just technical details... I know exactly what you mean.”

I nod. She’s a masterful seamstress. She probably does.

“Would you like our help? He knows enough about wiring, and perhaps you’d enjoy a little conversation?”

I shrug now. I wasn’t really planning on having anyone over... But I stop before I tell her so. Ponies might get suspicious if Rainbow’s the only pony going in and out of the library regularly. I nod instead. Rarity can come over, tea sounds nice, and I’d be glad for the help. She bumps his leg with her nose before trotting over to me.

“Wonderful! Be a dear and get Twilight the wire on her list, would you darling?”

Just a nod. No words. So very shy, perhaps? Or is it caution? Celestia warned all of us, him included, about giving away too much of who and what he was. I wonder if he talks to Rarity at night, after a long day of being shut up. It seems lonely. That’s what relationships are for, right? Having someone who “gets” you that you can open up to? I can’t help but be happy for both of them. I wonder if it hurts Rainbow to see them so happy together.

By the time we’re home everyone is soaked. I shake the water off without much thought, beside me Rarity stops and accepts her husband’s coat, using the inside of it to towel off.

“Mmm. Hot tea would be perfect right now, wouldn’t it Twilight?”

I agree entirely. I have plenty of teas. We all go into the kitchen and he rolls up his sleeves and opens my oven door without a word. Doesn’t even ask if I’m interested in helping. If my mood were better, I might have been, but I doubt I’d do anything but get in the way at the moment. Better to let Rarity help me get my mind off of sex and meeting up with Dash again tonight. I’ve had time to recover too, and I finally have a conversation topic. I start in with a casual tone as Rarity boils the water with a small spark of focused magic.

“So, what were you two at the hardware store for?”

“Ah. Well, don’t tell anypony, but we’re looking to expand the boutique.”

I smile. Perfect, a conversation topic I can sink my teeth into. Great distraction.

“Oh? Business must be going really well, hmmm?”

“Well, yes. Really though, we need more space. Expanding business, and expanding family you know...”

I almost spill the boiled water as my mind makes the last connection.

“Expecting? You’re pregnant?”

She looks at a very important spot on my ceiling.

“Well... yes. All the signs point that way, at least.”

“Rarity... that’s...”

Great? Perfect? Wonderful? Scary? Impossible?

“That’s really great news!”

She finally looks in my direction, redfaced up to the horn and incredibly interested in the tea I’m pouring up.
“Isn’t it just? We’d been trying for quite some time, truth be told... we saw Zecora,
then the Princess... and then... It’s just worked out so suddenly. I realize we should have asked her sooner, of course! Ah... The Princess, that is.”

I laugh. She would give something like this the green light. No real care for how either of them handle it, right? Why use those remarkable and unfathomable depths of power to make sure things go safely for them?

“And ahhh... ummm... She said that it would be alright, if you oversaw it.”

I force myself to swallow my first sip of tea. She’s good. How can I say no?

“I’d be honored Rarity. What do you need me to do?”

Sweet Luna, she’s tearing up. She’s honestly going to cry. I reach out and hug her while she sniffles.

“Thank you... Thank you so much. I promise. I shan’t even be a thought in your mind until nine months from now.”

“It’s alright. Will you need advise?”

“Advise... Time... anything that you can spare...”

So much for nine months from now. Best to push forward while the ice is broken.

“Do you need a midwife?”

I can probably find some books on that. No idea... what... she’ll give birth to, or even if it’ll work out. I’m probably just as qualified as Ponyville’s resident midwives in this case. Right?

“A... Yes! That would be wonderful.”

The baby might have some degree of complications. She could need emotional support before the month’s out.
“If you need anything at all, just let me know.”

“Can you... check on things? Now? Tell me what’s going on inside me? I’m sick every morning. I can’t keep food down unless it’s warm, hot, freshly cooked... I have the strangest urges for food I’d... never normally eat.”

I shrug and tell her those sound like stereotypical pregnancy issues.

“No, no... I know. I know normal issues, please... trust me. These are different.”

I finally break the hug and think for a moment. I should have a book or two. I don’t really want to try magic on her at the moment with
-don’t think about sex-
-the complications that I’ve been having with-
-just keep glossing over-
-magic lately-
-damn.

“I’ll try.”

I get to my hooves, and suddenly the kitchen I’ve been sitting this whole time returns to me. There’s loud clinking and the occasional swear coming from my oven, and a pair of legs and half a torso laying out of it. Rarity bumps into me as I stop to take it all in, and we both laugh. It’s a hollow, nervous sound. Both of us know it, we’ve been friends long enough to know real laughter from a fake.

“Twilight, are you sure?”

“I’ll make it happen Rarity, I promise.”

There. Now I’ve done it. No pressure, Twilight. It’s alright. She trained you for these things.

I know where the health checkup books are. I start pulling books off of shelves and stacking them by title and proximity to what I’m after.
“A Hundred Home Checkups for Unicorns”
Possible.

“Is It Always This Colour?: Disease Prevention in Pregnant Mares”
Maybe.
“Heartbeats to Hiccups: A Unicorn’s Guide”
Sounds promising.

“Baby’s Health: From Infancy to a Foal’s First Year”
Not exactly right, but good to know where it is. I put it in the “keep” pile with a look to Rarity. The unspoken faith that things will go that far gets a sniffle and a smile.
I finally put away the no-keeps and open the closest contender, by title. “Mares and Magical Medicine” is our winner. Pregnancy is in the index, and it’s a section that spans a dozen pages.
I open the book to the proper page and cough up some dust. It’s the work of a few minutes to find a proper checkup spell, and I dip into my magic before I can overthink it all. Maybe that’s just what I need. To stop being so indecisive.
It’s the wrong decision. There’s an insane amount of heat, I’m drowning in it. Somewhere, I can hear myself whimpering. I turn that sound into a rallying cry. This is too much power to direct in any particular direction. I need to push it out spell by spell. Sight. Foresight. Cloudwalking. Hair Styling. I’m getting cooler as the heat washes over me spell by spell. To anypony reading magic, I’d be radiating a half a dozen enchantments. I finally turn from the heat and plunge into cool magical security.
I see Rarity’s baby. Her womb, radiating steady promises of life. My foresight spell keeps driving me onward. It’s not supposed to work like this, I couldn’t make it work like this if I tried. It’s meant to be seconds of forewarning. Instead I can see forward by months. The rough shape of a foal, growing and pulsing. Nothing else. The future burns at my mind, and I look away from Rarity to something that won’t change so rapidly.
A window. It shatters six months from now.
A wall. The grains of the wood grow before my eyes.
A mirror.
I’m running the long road to Canterlot in the rain. Dash shouts for me to wait. I don’t listen.
I’m balled up on the floor, crying uncontrollably. Blood on my hooves. My blood?
I clench my eyes shut. Fear is turning that cold safety into a burning danger zone. I throw out a magic negation spell with the last of the cold and collapse on the floor, panting in sweet relief.
The blurred shape of Rarity comes into my vision.
“Twilight? TWILIGHT!”
My senses fade out and in as I struggle to stand.
“-get in here! Hurry!”

The distinct sound of two shoes running across my floor. A deep voice I barely recognize asks me if I’m alright. The awkward feeling of hands checking my pulse. My vision starts to clear out.
“Not... bad for a first try.”
“Twilight? You’re alright?”
I shake my head and try to give her a reassuring smile.
“Your baby’s looking fine. Can’t know for sure, but... I think foal shaped.”
“This early? How in Equestria can you tell?”
I need water, and for the questions to stop. My head’s exploding, and I’m trying to hold it together with my hooves. I can swear I feel it sliding around in broken pieces each time I grip. I give the best answer I’m capable of.
“Just... trust me. I went through a lot to find that out.”
“Forget about that for a moment. Just a moment. Oh, you useless- move her to a chair!”
I’m being lifted up. I slip back into blackness at the sudden motion. Doesn’t anypony know you don’t move a dying pony?

When my eyes open again, Dash is standing over me. This must be what heaven is like, I’m sure. The cool press of a wet washcloth on my forehead, and that angelic smile.
“Keep those eyes shut... you’re gonna be fine. You have to be fine.”
I shake my head and motion for her to come closer. Need to clear my head.
“Huh?”
I pucker my lips and she blushes.
“I think she’s gonna be fine. You two can... head out.”
“You’re sure? Do call me if her condition changes... I still feel we should get a doctor.”
“Doctors don’t know jack about magic, Rarity. You said it yourself: Twilight just needs some rest. She’s still breathing, heart’s still beating, she’s not bleeding.”
Are all these ponies arguing over me? How many are there? Is it two voices or twenty?
“They’re gone now. What’s up? Need some water?”

A golden lock of hair brushes my nose and I force my eyes wider. Her colorful mane cascades down toward me, like some prismatic waterfall.
“I’m not as bad off as I feel, I think. My head aches, but it’s nothing too bad... You said they’re gone?”
“Yeah?”

I leap on her. It makes me nauseous, and it makes me want to vomit, but it’s what I need more than anything else. I need to know I can get my magic out at a moment’s notice. I need somepony to take the heat out of my body, and replace it with cold calm. Just burying my face in her chest does that.

“Hey. Hey! Twilight, you ok?”

My stomach growls. I know it’s a weird question, but I ask it anyway.

“Is my oven fixed?”

“Huh?”

“I’m hungry.”

“Oh! Right. C’mon. Let’s get you into the kitchen.”

I squint. Is it really this dark in the library? I’m afraid of what the answer might be after all those vision spells. Fear floods back. If I’m blind- what would I do? How will I live?

“Hey. You want the lights on?”

Rainbow Dash. She’ll never know why I kiss her so suddenly, or just how badly the fall to the floor would have ended if she hadn’t started lowering us slowly with her wings. As we recline there every nerve in my body cries out for me to lie still and let it recover. Every inch of my insides tighten in anticipation of what she can do to me with just her breath.

“Rainbow?”

A soft kiss at my neck.

“Thought you were gonna die on me. Don’t do that.”

“Rainbow?”

“Huh?”

“Can we skip dinner?”

She kisses lower and I sigh and force my legs apart. Hell with the pain in my body. I need this so much right now.

“Don’t think that’s a good idea.”

I sigh and grab her mane with my hooves, shoving her face roughly between my legs.

“Don’t argue right now.”

“Twi...”

Her hot breath, on every exposed inch. She heaves a hot and heavy sigh and I shiver. If she doesn’t start soon, I might honestly die. She comes up for air and kisses my hip.

“Guess we can have dessert first though, if you really want it.”

She’s taking too long. I force her onto her back and straddle her face, just the way I did last night. The effort of sitting up on my own is almost too much, but I make it happen. I give her mane a deathgrip and feel her bury her tongue inside me.

I’m making sounds I didn’t know I could make in seconds. Her hooves rub, squeeze, and mash my haunches and flanks as her tongue probes deeper and licks hungrily. I clench myself around her tongue and call her all manner of curse words I didn’t know I knew. I scream for her to slap my ass and she does it, hard. The pain shocks me back to reality for only a second before I let her sweep me away again.

As she carries me upward with each lap of her tongue I dip back into my magic. I need it out of me. I can feel it swimming about in my head, unreleased and aching. My horn bursts to life and illuminates the entire room in bright violet as I welcome the cool water that instantly crushes my mind. Oh how I’ve needed this. Sparks jet about the room with reckless abandon, harmless displays of light that force every pent up failed spell of the day out of me.

The magical release is almost as good as the orgasm. I’m starting to think nothing is as good as the orgasm Rainbow Dash can bring me to though. Today has certainly been a testament to that fact. It steadily gets harder to breath with each suckle of her lips, harder to stay sitting with each probing of her tongue. By the time she moves onto my clit I can barely speak. Every muscle in my body is clenched and waiting for that release.

“C’mon. Cum for me. C’mon.”

Her voice is silk on my ears.

“It’s ok... c’mon...”

She’s here. Her hooves rub softly at my back. Someone’s clicked a switch that’s turned every inch of fierceness between us into gentility. Somehow that kindness alone won’t bring me over the edge, but it’s helping. I grab her mane and pull harder.

“Better do a good job. Left me fucking horny all day. Do you know how much of my day that’s ruined?”

I slap her haunches hard and force her to suck at my slit for a bit longer. She’s going to give me what I’ve been wanting all day. My horn floods the room with light again and I pin her to the floor with a simple conjuration of straps that leaves her wings beating lamely against the ground.

My tongue is suddenly dry, and I plunge it into her privates. Just the taste brings me over the edge at last with body rocking screams. She’s soaking wet and squirming, but the straps hold her still. She screams a stream of obscenities as I hungrily force my face back down, and I surface with a smack of my lips. My tongue is full of her taste, and it’s not bad. Slightly tangy, tasteful enough to leave me rubbing myself along her legs. I know I’m just as soaked from what she finished doing to me, and the small light creeping out from under the kitchen door catches on the streak of glistening juices I leave all the way up her leg as my grinding picks up in pace and force.

“Twi... lemme go. What’s gotten into you?”

I dip a hoof between her legs and ask her if she wants me to stop.

“N-no... Hey... C’mon, don’t push yourself. Let me take care of you tonight.”

I kiss her and hold my lips there until she gives me her tongue and stops trying to talk. Fatigue is suddenly creeping up, and my head is back to exploding. I sigh and sink down onto her chest.

“Twi... hey, c’mon. Take these straps off.”

I just want to sleep, and I tell her so. Through half lidded eyes I can see hers widen into terrified ruby pools.

“No... No! Get these off of me first!”

She struggles under me and the straps groan at the strength of her wings as she lifts herself off the ground against them. The floorboards I fused them to creak under the strain of her fighting them. I manage to undo the buckles pinning her forelegs down before I can’t do anything else. She’s out on her own in seconds. I can feel her hoof rubbing my back.

“Hey... hey, you ok? You feeling better?”

I nod weakly. My head hurts, but my stomach’s empty. The power and stress that have been dying to get out of me all night almost drove me mad, but all the heat in my mind has receded. Now all that remains is the fatigue of handling so many spells.

“C’mon, we’ll take you into the kitchen, get you some water and some kinda snack... You want the lights off?”

“Uh-huh.”

My voice seems... so foreign.

“You ok to move?”

I know I’m milking it a little bit. I’m feeling ill, but I’m not so bad that I can’t move. I just want her hooves on my body a little longer before we take the plunge into... whatever we are. I have to bring it up.

“I dunno... Can you help?”

“Yeah, of course! C’mere.”

She’s lifting me so effortlessly with those wings... The weightlessness makes my head turn over, and I bury my face into her chest as she carefully moves me into the kitchen and clicks off the lights.

“Alright... I’m not gonna... well, I’m not a cool cook. Y’wanna order out?”

She offers me a glass of water and a takeout menu from the local resteraunt. The water helps a lot more than I thought it might. Oriental food sounds good, and I tell her so. She handles the rest as I set my head on the table and close my eyes.

I can hear her moving around. My head doesn’t hurt when I close my eyes.

“Alright, I’ll be back as soon as I can with some food.”

I sit up. She’s leaving to get it?

“Hey. Don’t move around a bunch. I’ll be back before you know it.”

I feel like some stupid little foal, but I just... don’t want her to go. I’d rather be hungry than alone right now. I ask the only question I can think of. Something designed to either keep her here, or make her run away for good. This is it.

“Dash... what are we?”

“Huh?”

“This... it feels so good. So why am I sad all day?”

She messes her mane with one hoof. It’s her nervous habit, I know... but she’s so beautiful when she does it.

“I dunno. I guess we’re... whatever we wanna be?”

My mind settles on the blue envelope in the mail pile. How do I even phrase this?

“Dash... I know you like... somepony spoken for... and... and I sort of do, too.”

Heart’s hammering now that it’s said. I can’t shut out the sick feeling in my stomach by closing my eyes anymore, but at least I have an excuse to avoid eye contact.

“Yeah?”

Her voice... it sounds so scared and quiet. Not the bold Rainbow Dash I know at all. How badly am I hurting her saying these things?

“Dash, do you still want to... keep doing what we’re doing?”

“Yeah.”

Her whispered voice feels closer. Is she moving toward me on those silent wings? Should I risk looking up?

“Ok... Can you stay here tonight then? And every night?”

“Huh?”

“Even if we stay just friends... I really enjoy all of this. I think I go a little crazy now when I don’t get it.”

“Really?”

Her voice seems hoarse, inches from my ear. I look up and she’s sitting across the table from me. Barring the cloudless night sky coming in through the window we don’t have much light, but I swear I can see tears in her eyes. That can’t be right though... Rainbow Dash wouldn’t let herself cry. Maybe it hurts to be so close to something that’s not the pony she wants.

“I know what you’re thinking but... we don’t have to be miserable just because we can’t have them, Rainbow. The ponies we want, that is.”

“Yeah, I guess...”

“We can still do all these fun things. Just something casual, between friends, right?”

“Sure!”

There’s that familiar confidence and bravado. Why does it feel like it’s always been fake now that I’ve seen her heart so close to breaking?

“Rainbow...”

She rests her hoof on mine and shushes me.

“Twi- I promised myself I’d go after the pony I want no matter how long it took or how much it sucked... or how little or much I could get of her. I’m not gonna give up, and neither should you.”

What? Doesn’t she want to keep what we have going? Maybe I’m just being selfish, but it feels like sleeping is easier with sex. Isn’t it easier for her too?

“Don’t you want to keep... fooling around? It’s fun.”

She kisses me and I choke back a sob. She’s too good to me. Too generous, too kind.

“C’mon. You’re really not hungry?”

“Not yet...”

“Think we can make it up the stairs if I help you?”

I try to stand up and find that it’s easy. I’m still not sure what this means her answer is. I don’t know what to think- am I in the clear? Can I really pursue the Princess’ letter and mess around with Rainbow Dash?

She helps me climb onto the bed and gently lays herself over me.

“Lights on or off?”

I rub my leg between both of hers in reply.

“On?”

I rub again.

“Is that a yes? No?”

She’s so easy to toy with. I kiss her neck and ask her if she can find my new toy and give it a nice hiding place.

“Huh? Already? I dunno... I think we should take it easy.”

I wrap my hooves around her and bury my face into her chest for what seems like the millionth time tonight. I can’t help it, it’s comfortable. She smells slightly of sweat,fresh rain, and strawberries. The last scent seems almost out of place, a girly touch on a rock solid muscular athlete. I suddenly want to taste her, to see if the taste matches the scent. I start to lick a line down her chest to her stomach and she sighs and shivers.

“Jeez, you’re really in the mood tonight, huh?”

“Uh-huh.”

I carefully roll her onto her stomach, and she doesn’t argue. The muscles in her back are incredibly stiff, likely from a long day of flying. I ask her if she’s always this tense.

“Oh... yeah. Everypony always wants something, y’know? I spend all day wishing I could be out there speeding from cloud to cloud, but I get to do it anyway as part of my job... but it’s just not the same, y’know?”

I do. I kiss a line down her spine and start to rub in gentle circles, hoping to ease the tension out of her. I’m still not feeling up to standing over her, but I can at least do that much from my prone position lying over her.

“Jeez, that’s heaven. You sure you’re not secretly a masseuse?”

I keep kissing and moving down until I can grip a handful of her haunches. Those muscular tight buttocks, perfectly rounded and rising up in two tense, firm hills of sky blue. I keep kissing and fondling and squeezing them until she laughs and wiggles under my touch.

“Yer such a closet perv. Have you really been after this all day?”

I start to tell her about my day, from start to finish. As I do it I wiggle down and wrap as much of myself around her lower half as I can, trying to knead more and more of her bottom in my hooves. When I get to the trouble with Carrot Top’s garden I pause, not sure how much truth I should give. She’s one of my oldest friends... We’ve done plenty together. She can know.

“I think something’s wrong with my magic, Rainbow...”

“Ya think? You were a freakin’ fountain of sparks tonight. Never seen any unicorn do that. Also kinda almost killed yourself.”

“It wasn’t that bad. It was just a rebound. Scholars and wizards have run into them before... from time to time.”

I don’t bother to mention that the last recorded case was half a century ago and almost took a small town with it. Almost is the key word though. The Princess doesn’t let things like those happen. She has a knack for showing up and throwing out a void magic spell- I suppose she’d be able to find anypony if she needed to. She probably felt the pull of my magic tonight... I start to wonder what she’ll think, or if she might revoke my potential professorship if she found out. I sigh. Why is it always so complicated?

“Hey. You done back there or what?”

I look down to the incredible butt in my hooves and sigh. I need this right now.

“If you’re not interested in my ass anymore, I can think of some other places that wouldn’t mind being rubbed down.”

I giggle and lick a line from her spine to her tail. She’s been working hard today. When I slip a hoof between her legs her wings unfold in a majestic, splayed standard. I ask her if they ever hurt.

“Huh? Oh, sometimes. I do a lot these days... It’s one of those things wher-”

I give one a careful rub at the base and she practically melts. When I start to rub again she starts to squirm away, and I have to pull her back in with my forelegs.

“Feels too good... slow down.”

“I don’t believe in too good. You slow down and quit wiggling.”

“Why do I get the feeling you’re feelin’ better than you’re letting on?”

I drag her back up to me again and start to rub. She thrashes almost instantly and nearly carries us both off the bed.

“Do I need to get the straps again?”

I make my voice playfully stern, but her eyes widen and she bites her lip.

“Don’t... don’t get the straps again. Please, don’t get them again.”

“Then quit being so hard to deal with and hold still.”

I take one wing carefully in my hooves and start to knead the muscles at the base joint. She melts into my body with a moan and both of her hooves zip between her legs. What’s going on finally clicks, and I realize the real reason she’s squirming so much.

“D’you like to be rubbed there?”

“Uh-huh.”

I rub a little more roughly and she buries her face into a pillow and starts to moan. It occurs to me that this is one of the few places on her body she can’t reach herself, with any amount of effort. Between being hard to reach, so often used, and so often hidden from sensation under her folded wings, it must be very sensitive. I lower my mouth and start to nibble.

I can feel her cum against my body. The characteristic shaking and whining that I’ve learned to see over the last week rocks my entire bed. I nibble harder and I hear her sob.

“Too good. I can’t- I’m sorry.”

She wrestles me off the bed and we both fall to the floor with a sharp thud. Pain flares back into my head, but she just rubs her raw and aching marehood across my body.

“Nnnnhhh. Good. Too good! Fuck!”

She’s orgasming again, and again. I push her onto her back and start to lick, but I get a mouthful of liquid as she starts to squirt a gushing orgasm into my face.

“FUUUUUUCK.”

I can’t believe the taste, or that I’m lapping it from her folds like a child desperate for milk. The lust of the moment drives all the pain in my chest and head out of my body and into the background. The pain feels good. It must feel good for her too. I squeeze her ass and bury my face into her soaking vagina.

“Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck.”

More liquid. More squirting. She rolls onto her hooves and the spray arcs down my body. I grab her by the haunches and pull her closer so that I can keep my mouth on her sex. She hops around awkwardly with my weight on her backside until she carries us both with effort onto the bed again. I lie next to her stroking her side, nibbling and biting and sucking on it until I leave streaks of marks up her still panting figure.

When she turns to look at me, tears sweat and juices cover her face.

“that was... that was pretty good, huh?”

I kiss her and shush her. She gets me, no matter what I want to tell myself. If we’d only discovered each other sooner, before we’d both fallen for somepony else, maybe we’d have more than just sex tonight.

She pulls my latest book up from beside the bed with some effort.

“It’s not your new toy, but I think you’ll enjoy it a little more.”

Maybe we will have more than sex tonight. I snuggle into her side and breath in the scent of her. It makes it real. She can’t disappear to work tomorrow. Neither one of us has to go please anypony but ourselves and each other tonight. More than anything, that relaxes me. The throbbing in my temples slowly filters back in, but it’s a dull sensation that I can drive out with the occasional kiss to my horn ministered by the pegasus at my side. I open my book and she wraps a wing around me.

“You gonna stay up for much longer?”

I shake my head. I know she wants to get sleep after a day like today, and I do too. I just need to wind down first. She presses the softness of her body against me, and I rest my head against it. This is perfect. Well, almost perfect. I reach behind me and squeeze her butt one more time. I feel heat flood to her body and she sighs and closes her eyes.

“Yeah... I think... I think you’re definitely... feelin’ better.”

I can’t help but laugh. It hurts my chest, but the second I do I’m not scared or worried anymore. I’ll take as long as I need to sort the letter out, and see how things go until then. There’ll be time to worry about the future later. My here and now is aching to be touched.