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Entry 1: Cunnilingus, Romance, Wing and Horn insertion.

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- Owned by: Twilight Sparkle
- The fourth day of Autumn, One Thousand and Four Post-Nightmare

“Diary. It’s a funny thing, and a strange one that you were given to me by a close friend today. What exciting adventures might the two of us share? I will endeavor to write in you every day.”

-Twilight Sparkle.

28th of Winter, 1009PN

“How resplendent her face, how lovely her eyes

How gentle her rule o’er the one state I prize.

So long since I saw her, this load have I borne
Away from her grace, so weary and worn.

Yet each white cloud that I see in the sky,

Plays party to feelings I’d just as soon hide.
For it’s they that remind me, not the moon or the sun

Of the coat of my most regal, loved, and lost one.

Diary,

It’s been a while since I wrote. So maybe I never started writing. It’s one of the few commitments I’ve ever broken, if I can say so. Yesterday was worth writing about. Spike packed up and left, and I’m not sure how to feel about it. He’s finally a maturing dragon... It’s finally time for him to go. Still, even after the goodbyes, it was the start to a... really weird day. Let me tell you about the rest of it.

Bonbon. Knocking on my front door, again. I should have known it was her before I answered it, of course. Who else could possibly be here this early in the morning? Who else would start my day with a halfhearted greeting only designed, however cleverly, to make me ask her what’s the matter? What other pony so frequently comes to me for help? It’s a trick question of course, they all do. Princess Celestia once said that to the gifted nothing is more wonderful and dangerous than the adoration of others. Unlike so many of her paradoxes, I’ve come to understand this one intimately.
I did what I always do though. It’s why I left the house without eating breakfast to go syphon rain water out of a cookbook that was, if anypony were to ask me, left entirely carelessly on the windowsill. Everypony who’s got a dash of sense knows how sporadic the weather has been in ponyville for over a decade now. But I’m getting ahead of myself, and digressing into weather patterns far more than is worth noting. Or perhaps it’s entirely worth noting? After tonight, I’m not so sure it isn’t.

I arrived at Bon Bon’s, did my job, got out. It wasn’t uneventful of course, and once I’d found out how it had happened, I’d made up my mind to talk to Ponyville’s weathermare about sudden rainclouds appearing over the town. A proper schedule of weather is absolutely essential if anypony is to do any planning, and winter is an awful time for anypony to be caught out in the rain. I’d already had to fix three head colds, four broken gutters, and eight leaky roofs. This mades the sixteenth book I’ve repaired in just a month, making this easily the worst winter in any of the years I’ve lived in Ponyville for forced repairs.
But it’s no coincidence that I should end up knowing about it. Everypony knows about me, knows about the kinds of things I can do, knows about the extent of my... gifts. Most don’t know how I do the things I do, and those are worth describing. Unicorn magic is an extension of the will, it’s withdrawing into yourself, it’s feeling knee deep in a pool of cold water and pushing all that sudden energy someplace important. At least, that’s how it is for most unicorns. In the cases of basic everyday magics, it’s what magic is like for me as well.
It’s the special magics, the stronger magics, those that access the element I’m so tightly bound to, that feel akin to drinking fire. They’re tiring, sometimes even painful. To access even the basic magics, I have to relax and slip past that fire to the cold grounded ocean of will. I remember pushing against that wall the day of my entrance exam to her school. Nopony knows it but her. Nopony else ever asks about it. Again though, I’m getting ahead of myself in my story telling.

I decided it was time to talk to Rainbow Dash. She’s the weathermare, she makes the rules, she places the clouds, she sets the schedule. It’s a loose schedule, and sometimes it's not worth calling one. Most of the time it’s not worth calling one. I’d figured she’d be in a cloud or a tree somewhere, and when it started raining, I ran home for a jacket and a warmer saddle. I wasn’t about to make myself sick trying to find a single pegasus in a cloudy sky. I also wasn’t expecting her to find me. So you might imagine my surprise when I heard her voice coming from the branches above my front door.

“Morning Twilight.”
So casual. So laid back. Never a worry in the world.
“Dash. Come down here. Let’s... talk.”
“You sound kinda... mad.”
“I’ve had to repair another casualty of random downpours. Do you know how frustrating that is?”
“Easy there Twilight. I’ve been busting my chops all day trying to keep rain where ponies asked for it!”
I gritted my teeth and tried to remain polite.
“Asked for it? The system works on requests now?”
“Well... no. But it should, and they all need the help anyway. Golden Harvest’s rainbarrels were almost empty, I can’t help that she lives next door to whats-her-mane.”
“Bonbon. And you soaked through a library book in the process!”
“Yeah... Look. You wanna do a better job than me?”

I hadn’t been expecting Dash of all ponies to suddenly be so defensive.

“Dash... Hey. I’m not trying to point hooves anywhere-”

“But you are pointing them. Y’r saying it’s my fault somepony left her stupid book out where it could get rained on.”
“For your information, that book is closing on a century of age! It was very hard to repair.”
“Yeah? Well sorry for your trouble then. You done lecturing me? I gotta go put clouds over sweet apple acre’s rain-barrels next. You might wanna just sparkle on over there and-”
“-Dash-”
“-Tell Applejack to put away all those books she’s busy not reading.”

And then she was gone, and I was alone again. But not for long. I’d just settled into a cozy blanket when another knock at my door pulled me away from tea and hot apple pie. I answered the door in a huff, and you might imagine why at this point. I’m afraid I was a bit rough.
“Talk, I’m a busy mare.”
“Twilight Sparkle? Now that’s just not the sort of reception I was expecting at all. Something on your mind?”

Rarity. There are worse ponies to force a smile for.

“Rarity! Sorry to be so short, come in from the rain! It’s awful outside, I hope you two didn’t ride all the way back in that.”

“Awful? Why it’s perfectly sunny Twilight!”

“Sunny?”

And looking past them, it was. Not a cloud in the sky. The afternoon had shaped up to be lovely. I swallowed my surprise and let them in, held a hoof out graciously as Rarity stepped out of her boots and her husband stooped and shuffled awkwardly under my low doorway before straightening up.

He’s intimidating, I can’t deny it. Anypony would be intimidated by a six foot figure. Anypony would be intimidated by eyes so dull, hair so plain, hands so big. Anypony would be intimidated by a human. When the Princess had gotten a look at him, she’d known what “Human” was, but she’d been the only one. I’d spent months looking for an answer of my own before he’d been summoned with me to her audience.

She’d given him perfect advise. What other kind of advise does she give? She’d advised him against drawing attention to himself outside our more civilized cities and towns. She’d warned him about telling anypony his name, had welcomed the first human to step into Equestria in over a millennium with open hooves and a special dispensation to live in Ponyville. And like all of her motives, like all of her writing, like everything she does, I still can’t see why she did any of it. I can’t see why she extended his residency licence to let him marry Rarity three years ago.
I can’t see why she’d allow the first human to step foot into Equestria after all this time, or why his random appearance and strange dress earned him such a pitying, loving smile when all my efforts for all the year I was with her only ever earned a report card. Why she’d share even her pity with him when ponies suffer, linger in doubt and shiver and shake at night in confusion and cold. She, the object of so much power and prestige, had held another audience with both of them only yesterday. An audience I’d neglected to attend. I have no reason to return to Canterlot or her court, and none of the reasons are worth mentioning.
All this I inwardly pushed down, all of it needed to go someplace else when I tried my best to ask, sincerely, how the most powerful pony in Equestria was doing. As if she could be anything but well, as if she’d ever age noticeably, as if she’d want to leave a palace free of suffering. The answer, it turned out, met my expectations.
“Oh well... you know. The Princess is well-they both are, of course. I rather liked Luna at dinner. So well mannered, so proper.”
“Oh? Dinner... H-how was that?”
“Oh you should have seen it Twilight. They’ve got ice sculptures and lovely glassware and dishware. It was simply marvelous!”
“Yes, I suspect it was... I’m really sorry I couldn’t attend, but Ponyville has been needing me lately.”
“Yes, I heard. Goodness, but things have a way of going wrong lately, don’t they?”
“A lot of it has to do with the rain, if you catch my drift.”
“Hmm. I believe I might.”
It was getting harder to keep from raising my voice. “Can you believe she yelled at me when I tried to talk to her about it?”
“Who, Rainbow Dash? Goodness, that’s not unusual. You know how excitable she can be.”

“Yelled at me, Rarity.”

She was staring holes in the bottom of her teacup at this point.

“Hmmm. Well... No need to shout. Hmm. Ponies know Dash is good at what she does. They come to her for help all too often. Surely you can understand that?”

“Sure, but yelling and getting upset? How does that help?”

“Hmm...”

And she sipped her tea thoughtfully, politely. It’s funny though, she’d given me some idea. Ponies asking Dash for help were conflicting with the ones who asked for my help. What needed to be done wasn’t lecturing, but relating.

“Rarity, can you take a letter to Rainbow Dash when you go out?”

“But of course. It’s on the way, after all. But surely Spike can-”

“Spike left today.”

Even I didn’t recognize my voice. It sounded distant. Hollow. Lost.

“Oh. Oh dear me. I... I missed it?”

“Yes. We threw that party for him weeks ago, it’s... it’s alright. The only one who could pick the day and time was him, none of us could plan around it Rarity.”

“Oh yes, but still... poor Spike. How are you holding up? He’s been your close friend for so long...”

“It... hasn’t really sunken in yet.”

“Is that so? If you need company tonight, let us know. We’d be glad to play host, give you a minute to relax. Just something to think about.”

His hand crept onto her shoulder. She smiled back at him. How can they talk without any words? It’s just so...

“I don’t really... want to bother w- I really don’t really want to bother the two of you, really.”

It came out harsher sounding then I meant it too, but how couldn’t it?

“Oh... Oh I see. Why not invite Rainbow Dash over then? You still need to have that talk, and you simply mustn’t sit around with nopony, all alone on a rainy night.”

Her reply sounded so sad, but she’d just smiled at me. I’d have promised her conjured diamonds to have another chance to say that I just wanted to be left alone tonight and not insinuate half the things I had. Oh well.

And so I’d written the letter to Dash telling her to drop by tonight after work. Rarity and her spouse had left me to my thoughts and reading, and I’m ashamed to say I’d fallen asleep in my overstuffed library chair and almost forgotten that I was expecting company. One doesn’t simply forget an appointment with Rainbow Dash though. My now empty window pane can attest to that.

It’s been a few years since I’ve heard an explosion, and several more since anything close to one woke me up. Dash is always crashing into my humble tree home, though I’ll grant it’s not as often as it used to be. I’m not sure if it was the force of her breaking the floor or the sound barrier, but by the time I was moving around books had fallen from their shelves and dust had obscured my vision. Although the chaos was complete and the mess was incredible, I was more concerned with the potential results that leaving a crater behind in a tree house could have had on a pony body.

“Rainbow?!”

Some coughing. I made a note to lecture whatever parts of her were still alive and dipped into my will. Fire pushed up, and mental practice pushed it back. No time to wrestle with the element with Dash possibly hurt. She needed me, and I pushed past the hot water and into the icy depths. Light and wind filled the room and pushed every last spec of dust toward the window. Through the glow of my horn I could make out her silhouette standing up and stumbling toward me. With another focused gust the room was relatively clear and I finally allowed my lungs some relief.

“Dash?”

It was hard to get her name out between all the coughing.

“Yeah? Oh... Sorry. Floor’s kinda a mess. Really, I’m uhhh...”

“Careless as usual?”

It’s hard to be mad in between fits of coughing, especially at somepony who’s clapping you on the back and helping you get it all out of your system. By the time I could get out more words than her name it just wasn’t worth being mad over anymore. It was almost funny.

“Sorry. Really. I’m really sorry.”

I laughed, and felt weird for doing it. My laugh felt weird. Was it always this strange? With some ease I slipped past the hot mental wall back into the cold pool of will and started stacking books back up. I even managed to fix the split in the wood floor before the laughter ceased and left my sides aching.

“Hey, it’s not... that funny.”

“Sorry. I just uhhh... I guess I needed a laugh more than I thought.”

“Yeah, I could kinda tell. You were sorta... Well I was pretty bad too earlier. Sorry.”

She was quick, and she was at least being honest. I couldn’t blame her. With that kind of entrance it would be a waste to spend the whole night arguing over something that had happened this afternoon. It wasn’t hard to summon up some sincerity.

“Yeah, I’m sorry. I’m sorry too. It’s why I called you over.”

I smiled as I said the last bit, though I had no idea what to talk about for the rest of the night now that scheduling was off the table.

“Yeah? I thought Rarity said you wanted to have dinner and talk.”

And with that she flapped off the loft and landed gracefully on the floor below. I hurried down the stairs to keep up, and by the time I’d made it to the living room she was in the kitchen rummaging around.

“Thought you said dinner. There’s no dinner Twilight.”

“Oh, right... Well, I sort of-”

“It’s cool. We can make some, right?”

“Uhh-”

She turned with a smirk.

“Don’t tell me you were planning on inviting me over and then ordering out?”

“Well...”

“Jeez, really?”

I finally had to cut in.

“The food’s in the fridge! It’s a salad. Spike... made a bunch before he left.”

“Oh, that’s... cool.”

I don’t expect hugs from many ponies, and I certainly hadn’t expected one from Rainbow Dash. When she finally spoke it was so quiet and kindly, it was a tone of voice I didn’t even know she had.

“I’m sorry, Twilight.”

How can three words start everything downhill? I started sobbing like some kind of school filly whose pet turtle ran away. The whole time she kept me pressed to her mane and didn’t say a word, just held me there. When I finished I was out of breath and she was rubbing my back and helping me to sit down.

“It’ll be different, huh?”

I admit to being caught off guard. I don’t normally expect ponies to start talking about sensitive things so soon after a breakdown. Change the subject? Sure. Weather, what somepony’s done lately, Canterlot politics, anything else. She asked though, and I couldn’t help but answer, voice choked to near silence.

“Fifteen years. I’m not ready for it to change...”

“Yeah, I know. You’ll get... I mean, it’ll get easier.”

“Yeah...”

“Salad?”

I set my face in my hooves and tried my best to talk through them.

“Sure.”

While I was sitting at the table blowing my nose into a napkin Dash was flittering about the room at high speed preparing the meal. By the time I looked up the table was set and she was busying herself with nothing at all. The small kitchen and dining space the library comes with is good enough for a two person meal, and there was nothing left to do but sit down, but I think she might have been giving me the time to get myself together. I wasn’t about to let her stand around all night.

“Hey... Come sit.”

“Huh? Oh, sure!”

She sat down with a grin and a fork and tried a bite.

“S’pretty good huh?”

I tried a bite too, and she was right. Spike’s food was always amazing.

“So, uhhhh...”

Now she was making it awkward, but she was trying and I had to give her credit.

“What’d you do today besides the weather, Rainbow?”

“Oh. Well, I really... only got to do that. It’s only ever really that anymore, y’know? I did get some good speed flying in on the way over here though, which is why I...”

“Almost gave me a new trapdoor, huh?”

She almost choked on her salad before swallowing it down and laughing.

“Yeah, that’s about right. It’s kinda been a while since I tried to stop that fast. Sorry, by the way.”

“No worries.”

Stupid. A conversation killing response. I hurried to fill the silence with a bite of salad in the hopes that the excuse might alleviate the awkwardness.

“What about your day, Twilight?”

I gulped none too politely and almost choked.

“It was pretty... yeah, it was kinda boring. I fixed a book for ‘what’s-her-mane-’”

“-Bon Bon.”

“Yeah, Bon Bon. Didn’t know if you remembered her name, so I figured I’d just go with what you knew.”

“I can remember her name!”

We both laughed and I put my fork down.

“Then I got in the... conversation with you, and then Rarity and her... well, he came with her of course.”

I couldn’t keep the edge out of my voice here, and it left my cheeks burning.

“Yeah? You really don’t care for him?”

“It’s not really that... it’s just...”

Oh whatever. I’d just spend five minutes crying into her mane, I could share something of value, couldn’t I?

“It’s more that it’s awkward to see them so... happy together, you know?”

“Huh?”

“I mean I don’t... I guess I’m just jealous, maybe? But I don’t think that’s it. I just don’t get how they do it. How can they be so happy? That’s the kind of stuff that happens in books. Real ponies don’t get no-drama-no-nonsense relationships.”

She set her fork down and leaned in, face suddenly serious.

“Oooooh. I get it.”

“Yeah.”

She sat back and pushed her plate away. After two bites, I had a hard time thinking she was done with it.

“Y’know, I... I’ve... nah.”

My curiosity was piqued, so I’m not sure how the only thing I could reply with was-

“Huh?”
“Yeah, I mean... It’s not a big deal or anything, but I know what you mean. It’s hard to believe how easy someponies have it when it comes to love and stuff.”
Now this was proper dinner conversation between girls. I think.
“You’ve got your eye on somepony?”

“Somethin’ like that... it’s uhhh... she’d never- I mean... They’d never go for it.”

She? Could it be? And now my heart was pounding. I’d left Canterlot for fear of being found out- returned to Ponyville to live a celibate life because anypony like me was so hard to find, and the pony I’d sold my soul to was... Could it really be that all this time, right under my nose, Rainbow Dash shared the same interests I did? I was dimly aware of the voice in my head screaming not to push the issue, shouting at me that I’d spent so much time and effort hiding it myself, that what she’d just shared was equally private, that she might not want to be known or want me to acknowledge it. I shoved that voice into the quietest most distant part of my brain possible. My heart was sold to... well, it’s always been sold to Her, but here was another mare who liked mares. Somepony who might know the same shared suffering. I quieted the screaming voice and drove onward against all reason.

“Rainbow, who is she?”

“Huh? Did I say... Didn’t mean-”

And it came out of my lips before I ever meant it to.

“I like mares too, it’s ok, you can tell me.”

“Oh. R-really?”

We were over the bridge. She knew now. I couldn’t take it back. I couldn’t swallow. I was faintly aware that neither of us had breathed for a very long time. Perhaps because of those things words were getting harder, not easier. I managed a breathy single syllable.

“Yeah...”

“She’s uhhh... well she’s a friend of mine. A unicorn. Long time friend.”

And now the conversation clicked in a full circle and I breathed again. Rarity. I turned my tone to pity as my heart slowed.

“Oh... Oh Rainbow, I’m so sorry.”

“What do you-”

A look of confusion crossed her face, but I wouldn’t let her hide it anymore.

“It’s ok. I mean... I... You know she’s spoken for just as well as I do.”

She suddenly met my eyes with the resilience only she possesses.

“Oh. Yeah.”

“Yeah. She’s uhhh... Look, do you wanna finish dinner in the living room?”

She looked so relieved so suddenly, and I needed a place I could take her to. She’d taken care of me minutes ago, and now it was my turn. I grabbed a fresh glass of water and followed her slow walk into the living room. We both sank into a cushy couch together and I put a hoof on her shoulder and offered her the water.

“Hey... Take this.”

“Sorry Twi... Not supposed to be moping. Stupid feelings.”

I couldn’t keep the kindness out of my voice. I echoed her every sentiment.

“There’s no such thing... It’s ok.”

“Yeah, I guess...”
Silence.
“Twilight, how- how long have you been-”

“Since I was a little filly. You?”

“Same, I guess. I mean, I never really thought about it until we all started hanging out and it just kinda... happened. I never meant to-”

Her hoof brushed mine as she awkwardly fidgeted. We both jerked away, but...

“Hey, Dash...”

“Huh?”

The voice in my head was silent. The whole room was still. I couldn’t help it, I put my hoof back on hers. Starswirl help me but I put my hoof back on hers, and she turned it over gently and held mine back.

“I thought I was the only-”’

“Yeah, me too.”

We both looked anywhere but each other now, but I was ready to take the plunge. Outside the wind picked up and I distantly heard the sound of rain falling in the window she’d knocked out, but it was the last thing on my mind.

“Dash... do you want to stay here tonight?”

“Huh?”

“I mean... if you want. It’s really...”

The rain picked up and I couldn’t ignore it. The hammering droplets on the roof threatened to shatter all my nerve, and I bit my lip before pushing forward. Her voice drew my eyes to her. She sat on the couch, wings tucked tight, scarlet color pouring into her powder blue face.

“It’s really raining now.”

I wasn’t expecting her to push back. My heart thudded. What was I doing? Wasn’t this stupid? Lust driven, idiotic- we both have our hearts sold to different mares, why be so... but why be so hung up we missed out on anything anypony normally gets to do? We’re all the other has. Push forward!

“I uhhh... it’s kinda hard to fly in that rain, right?”

“Not really.”

I almost choked on my tongue. Did she want to stay or not? I was having trouble finding creative ways to both invite her and give her an out.

“Uhhh... oh. Ok.”

“Hey Twilight, can I stay here tonight?”

Her hoof crept up my arm. Luna help us, what were we doing?

“Well yeah, that’s what I was trying to say... You should just stay here tonight. I’m not really... used to the house being alone.”

It was a lame excuse, and poorly worded, but my throat was dry and I didn’t want to stumble over any more words trying to correct my grammar.

“Yeah, I guess.”

So I took her hoof and lead her up the stairs to the loft where my bed was.

“Isn’t it kind of early for... sleep?”

I felt stupid the second I said it, but we’d both just laid down like idiots and somepony had to say something. She rolled over and looked at me for a minute.

“Your bed’s really stiff.”

“Oh, uhhh... sorry.”

“Gonna have to show you my new cloud mattress later. It’s like sleeping on air.”

I couldn’t help but burst out laughing. The level of awkward had transcended anything and just driven straight into stupidity. The laughter dissolved it all. We were being stupid. We were both sold on the idea of other mares, and I knew it. Both of our causes were hopeless. We’d both be lonely. And just like that the laughter faded. When I stopped laughing she stopped smiling, and now the awkwardness had transcended anything I’d ever expected. What zone were we in? Were we going to just walk away and call this a close brush with stupidity? Were we actually supposed to push past the laughter and go back to the tense moment? Was the laughter going to cure us both of the melancholy and let us just enjoy the other’s company? With no clear idea of where to go from here my heart drifted into some begging, pleading prayer. Please... just tonight, let something go right. We both need something from the other.

Luckily, Rainbow solved the matter of just what we need for each other. She wiggled across my apparently stiff mattress and pulled me into her.

“Jeeeeeez... You look so tired. Why doncha tell me about the ideal Twilight Sparkle day.”

So I did. I poured out a list of all the books I’d love to read if I only had the time. I told her about how I’d love to go back to practicing magic for fun instead of fixing everyone’s stuff all the time. I told her I’ve got an alphabetized list downstairs of hundreds of hobbies I’d love to try to pick up that I’ve made over the years. I told her about how if I had the time I’d try them all, from “A” for applebucking to “W” for wine tasting. I told her how I’d love to go to councils in Canterlot if only I trusted myself around there anymore. I stopped short of telling her why I didn’t. Some things aren’t worth revealing even in the downy winged embrace of your close friend.
Then I asked her what she’d like to do if she could live her life however she wanted. I thought it was a big more broad. Next to me her eyes opened from where they’d been closed and she shook her rainbow mane. It practically sparkled in the dim light of my bedside lamp.

“Huh? Oh. Go back to flying for fun, I guess? Go out drinking and dancing with everypony once in a while... not like we used to every weekend or anything but at least once a month or something. Maybe go back to cloudsdale more often... Get out of here and stretch my freakin’ wings on an adventure or two once a year. Ponyville’s just so... boring, y’know?”

I admit I was honestly curious. I sat up to make eye contact. My hoof strayed to her back and rested there.

“Boring how?”

“Oh, uhh. Well I mean, it’s not awful or anything. It’s just it feels like... well take you for example. You’re something crazy special right? Princess’ prize student, and you’re slumming around in this library. No offense. Really though, don’t you feel it? Like you wanna stretch your legs sometimes? Like all the ponies who keep asking you for stuff don’t understand how hard on you it is to buckle down and do that kind of stuff when you could be out there?”

Now I knew we were on the same page. My hoof slipped from her back to brush tentatively against her bottom, waiting for protest.

“Well... I know I gave up a lot of prospects to live in Ponyville, but that’s just how it goes. Celestia says in her writing that to the gifted nothing is more wonderful and dangerous than the adoration of others.”

She wiggled a little bit against my hoof, and I briefly wondered if this was my signal to squeeze her butt or just her adjusting on my apparently stiff mattress.

“Sounds complicated.”

“Well... It’s great to be praised, but people come to expect everything because of it. She means fame’s double edged.”

“Really?”

“Well sure. It’s what all the scholars of pony philosophy taught.”

“Oh, that’s neat. I guess I don’t really have a hoof for that kind of stuff.”

I smiled. Sometimes I forget how hard it can be to understand her teachings.

“It’s not everypony’s skill, Rainbow. She’s insanely complicated. Honestly, ‘Help others as you would want to be helped’ and ‘A good mind doing naught is often doing the most.’ for example. She sounds like she’s so wise, but it all just... conflicts with itself. It can be confusing to imagine how... well, I don’t want to bore you but...”

She wiggled her flanks further against my hoof.

“It’s not boring. I like hearing about it.”

I smiled at the lie. Nopony likes to hear about it.

“You’re pretty clever, honestly. I was in the totally wrong direction, y’know? I figured she was saying something about being arrogant or somethin’.”

Somepony actually talking philosophy? I dug in.

“Arrogance? How do you suppose?”

Her hoof strayed behind her back and pressed mine to her bottom. I took the cue and started to rub, savoring the feeling of her toned muscled bottom in my hooves. Between my legs heat began to grow, and I distantly heard Rainbow Dash talking.

“Well, I dunno. It’s like... She says it’s wonderful to be adored and maybe it is... but maybe she’s afraid that ponies who are praised don’t just get confident, they get arrogant.”

If anypony could connect that teaching to something about avoiding arrogance it would be Rainbow Dash. It’s a lesson she’s always teaching herself. I couldn’t stop a sigh. But I had to admit she was looking at it differently. I grinded myself gently against her leg.

“Hey Rainbow?”

“Yeah?”

“Thanks for tonight. It’s... I guess it’s really fun to talk to somepony about anything I want to.”

“Yeah.”

I slid my hooves around to her sides. What else could I get away with at this moment? It was getting late, wasn’t it? Were we past the awkward stage? Was it smart to keep going? Wouldn’t we regret it tomorrow?

“Hey Twilight?”

“Yeah?”

“D’you think tonight we could...”

“I’m uhhh... I mean. We shouldn’t go on being miserable forever Rainbow. If you’re asking if I mind, I guess I don’t.”

“Mind what?”

Was she really going to make me jump that verbal river? Why was it just so awkward? Suddenly, I was angry. Nothing ever works right. Even with a lifetime’s pent up stress release in the cup of my hooves we were stumbling forward awkwardly. I jumped into her arms and pressed my lips to hers. I had nothing to lose and everything to gain by any degree of game theory.

“Mnnnnhhhaaaaahhh.”

She was trying to talk around my lips, but it wasn’t going to happen. Her hooves rubbed at my chest- rubbed, not pushed. She started to fondle at my haunches and I knew we were going forward. I stretched out to flick the light off, breaking our kiss, and she stopped me.

“Don’t. I... it’s been a long time. I need the lights.”

It had been a long time for me too. Never is a very, very long time. It made sense. By what little reasoning I had left I decided to play to all the experience I could.

“Do you... uhhh. Know what you’re doing more than I do, Rainbow?”

“Yeah.”

“You’ve been with another mare?”

“Long time ago. Before we met.”

“Oh. Ok. You want to... lead?”

“Sure.”

And she folded her wings around me and eased me onto my back. I let her spread my legs, let her move my tail out of the way. I could feel her breath, hot on a place I knew was radiating heat. I was aching. One touch there sent shocks through my body. The sensation of somepony else’s hooves touching was so foreign, but so perfect. I could feel her spreading and unfolding, every touch a pair of warm hooves on hot body. Her breath got closer and suddenly her tongue was swirling around on my clit and I was letting out moans I didn’t know I could give.

Her tongue was everywhere it could be. If she was out of practice I couldn’t tell from anything other than the nervous shaking in her hooves. Her tongue... Stars and moon as my witness it found every inch inside me. It explored, it slickened, it cooled. Any place her tongue wasn’t, her hooves were. They stretched and groped and squeezed my haunches and flanks. They rubbed at my back as she flipped me onto my stomach and pulled my bottom into the air to bury her face between my legs. The tip of her hoof slipped ever so slightly inside and I let out a sigh.

“Do you... have anything you wanna put in?”

I shook my head. I’ve never owned anything specific. I’ve spent all my time growing up living with Spike, if I’d owned a thing other than my hooves he’d have found it. I decided to confess.
“To be honest, I don’t even find the prospect enticing... As far as I’m concerned, I haven’t missed much.”
“Huh? Y’mean you don’t want anything inside ever?”
“Well, I’m just not... interested in colts, at all.”
“Well duh, you said that much, but do you mean you- it feels good no matter who you like Twi.”
“Oh. Uhhhh... Do you have anything?”
“Do I look like the kind of mare who carries that kinda thing around? Hold super still.”
The sound of her wings unfolding behind me after this topic was just too much. How could I not turn around?
“Does this work?”
“I’ve uhhh... Well, I mean I’ve read about it. I said hold still!”
Penetration- your first penetration or your latest- isn’t something that can be described. In one careful, slow thrust she slipped the tip of her wing in. They’re surprisingly sturdy, strangely firm, and plenty long enough. I suppose the crook that her feathers occupy- but it’s not important. I’d never felt anything like it.
“You ok?”
“Nnnhaaaaaahhhuuuh.”
The sensation of being filled by something was overwhelming. Everything in me was burning, aching to be touched. I scrambled to rub her hooves all over my body, but she was out of reach. I felt things loosen and tighten to accomodate, and I was dimly aware that she was awkwardly encouraging me to start seeing to myself.
“Y’r gonna have to rub yourself, I can’t do both.”
I touched my clit, but I wasn’t ready for the combination of the two. The heat spread into every inch of me, the combined stimulation was driving me past it and into insanity. I can’t imagine how anypony has a comparable experience, but when she started gently rocking her body, managing tiny thrusts, everything changed. I was a moaning bundle of pleasure. I know I took the sheets clean off the bed with my spare hoof, that my legs kicked and bucked, that I almost fell off several times but for her careful direction.
My chest tightened, I swear I couldn’t breathe in between screams, I locked my teeth to focus. Inside my body a flood of pleasure welled up and pushed against every tightened muscle I had to be let out. And when it was done, the orgasm was too much. Everything flooded into a scream, and I sat there dazed and panting. Not a single muscle was tight. I’d never been lightheaded after masturbation. I’d never been this short for breath. I’d never been this sensitive. She flopped into bed next to me, wings tucked, and locked her lips to mine.
“Do you want to...?”
I eased her onto her back, hoping I would do it right.
“Thanks... Twilight.”
I gave her a grim face and told her not to thank me yet. I lowered my still panting face to her glistening slit and gently spread it with my hooves. I tend to be gentle, but she’d been rough. Was rough better? Or was it just how she liked it? I lowered my tongue and heard her breath quicken as my panting neared her moist marehood. As a trial I gave a heavy sigh and felt her whole body tense in my arms. I knew she was dying for the touch, so I licked cautiously.
There isn’t a great deal to be said for taste in these sorts of matters, but I hardly noticed it around her rocking body. She was so hot, so wet already, and the more I licked the less I cared about any factors but the moans I was getting in reply. I felt clumsy, but I managed to find her clit and start to lap at it. At first she pushed away, but when I came up to see what was wrong she just shook her head and spread her legs a bit more.

Someponies are sensative, as it turns out. Rainbow Dash must be one of them, because I had to wrestle her grip to keep my face down. All the while her scent grew stronger, her insides wetter, her body more tense. I had no wings to insert, and I’d have apologized if I could have. She tapped my horn.

“C’mon... use your horn... put it in.”

The angle was awkward, the position strange, but I did my best. She took care of the rest, hooves working furiously at her clit while I gently rocked my body forward and backward. As her breathing quickened, so did my pace, as I assumed she wanted. She cried out a number of times and tried to push me away, but I knew better now. I pushed in all the harder until she was a rocking moaning heap of sky blue feathers and her rainbow mane was being flung wildly about. With a last cry she went still and I drew out, horn dripping wet. I wanted to ask if we could do it again, if we could try other positions and try grinding together, but all I could do was whimper as she pulled the blankets over us. I wouldn’t cry here. It was my first time.

Her wings tucked around me and she pulled me closer. I snuggled in because it’s all I had. I held her body because it was warm and anything outside those sheets was cold and disappointing. I cried and kissed at her chest because tonight was the first time I’d cried or laughed in distant memory, and I needed it, and she’d given it to me. I pulled her a little closer because I’d meant to yell at her tonight and instead she’d given me everything, and tomorrow she’d be out of my bed and on her way back to normality, and so would I.