Knock on the door, and be polite to whoever answers it. If no one answers the door, then try again later.

You walk up to the door and knock. A few seconds later, it opens to reveal black and white striped creature with a striped mohawk and a strange symbol on it's flank.

"Good morning, adventurer, I was expecting you. Please, come in, and taste my magic brew."  The creature seems to be speaking in rhyme, but is in no way incoherent. You join her inside, and are served up an unrecognizable soup-like substance. It tastes good. You are also served some bread to go with it. While you eat, she introduces herself.

"Zecora is my name, and you are here to learn. I'll provide the knowledge for which you yearn."

Quest complete: Find the zebra

You have gained 1 skill point(s).

"I have been wandering in this forest for quite some time, do you know where I could find a town?"

2) Is there any reason why I would be unable to just walk out of this forest, given enough time, that you know of?

Zecora sighs, and starts telling you about the forest. As it turns out, the forest is indeed huge. Apparently, it's three weeks of walking across without factoring in pesky factors such as difficult terrain. At the center is a great castle. A thousand years ago, it was the home of the diarchs of this country: Princess Celestia and Princess Luna. You interrupt Zecora to point out that princesses are by definition not rulers, but rather the daughters of a ruler. She glares at you. Apparently, linguistic knowledge isn't appreciated around here.

As she spoke, you finished the food, and she serves up a cup of tea. Mmm, Earl Grey. (Fuck you, tea is at least 20% cooler than coffee.)

Seeing as you don't seem very interested in history, she only briefly touches upon the important parts (only herbivores can exit without the Amulet of Peace or the blessing of an Element of Harmony) and moves on to the local wildlife. There are many predators, including some you thought to be mythological, such as manticores, chimeras, wooden wolves, giant bears, and cockatrices. You suddenly feel a lot more appreciation for the noob protection, it has probably saved your life once every ten minutes since you woke up in this place.

[You have gained a skill point in Knowledge. Learning things automatically increases this skill, but who knows if that knowledge was just gained retroactively or not?]

You decide not to dwell on the suggestion that you just changed your own past from the future. It's giving you a headache.

[You have gained status effect: Headache (Minor)

You have lost status effect: Confused]

IF 4 = Mythological creatures: 5) Are you SERIOUS!? How am I supposed to fight creatures like THAT?

You interrupt her explanation,  "Are you SERIOUS!? How am I supposed to fight creatures like THAT?"  She responds by glaring at you, apparently interruption in general is the problem, not linguistic knowledge. Should have figured.

"Young one, who said you have to fight? There's no reason to prove your might. Killing things won't help you live, don't fight what you can not shiv."  [A shiv is a collective name for improvised weapons of knife-like shape and function. Common ones include sharp glass with a wrapped "handle" of cloth or leather, and sharpened toothbrushes. The verb form means to attack someone with a shiv.] You ponder her words carefully, and realize that she's probably right. Essentially, you figure, she said don't get into a fight you can't handle, and if you get into one anyway, escaping is the best option.

7) Uh...this may seem crazy, but you wouldn't happen to have heard of a "skill tree", would you? Like...in real life?

"I am a quest-giver, not an encyclopedia. And fuck me sideways if you can find a word to rhyme with that. Seriously."  She looks embarrassed for a moment, then composes herself.  "The answer you seek can not be found here, if you go to the castle you'll find something there."

[You have obtained side quest: Find the skill tree.]

10) Do you know anything about a ruined castle found in this area? (Describe the location of it if Zecora replies "Which one?")

She gives you a rough map of the area with some key points marked off. If you follow this map, you should be able to reach the castle in less time than it would normally take. Remembering what you saw earlier, and accounting for the angle and spherical nature of the earth... Just kidding, you don't know that much about math. You do remember that Pythagoras dude and his triangle, though, and estimate about six and a half hours of walking should do.

x^2+5^2=8^2

x^2+25=64

x^2=39

x=~6.5

Yeah, you have a mental notebook. Shut up.

11) Are there any other former settlements in the forest? Do you know anything about them?

She shakes her head and sips her tea. You can't help but ask...  "Err... Zecora, how do you lift a cup with your hooves? I once tried to do that with my hands duct-taped into single digits, and it went rather poorly."  You wince at the memory of spilling hot tea in your lap, that event did indeed not go well. Not a place you want to have burn wounds ever again.

"All things in this world have inherent magic - my hooves grasp as if they're electromagnetic, but the electricity being rather... Static."  Yeah, you suppose explaining strange sciences in rhyme isn't very easy. You get back to the matter at hand and ask your next question.

12) Is there a river nearby, where I can fill my water containers?

She nods and exits the room for a few moments. She quickly returns with a bucket containing fresh water. You nod gratefully at her and refill your bottles.  "In return for this boon, I notice your pack. You wouldn't have alcohol in that pouch on your back?"

You pull out your bottle of vodka and offer it to her. She pours up two shots and corks it up.  "In my homeland, we drink to luck. With this blessing, your stay will not suck... As much."  She grins at you, and you both toss back the shot. You grimace slightly at the taste of pure alcohol, but figure it's not as bad as that time you had moonshine. [In this area, distilling your own moonshine is a bit of a tradition. You don't have to look far for someone with a bottle of 96% alcohol. I once had a sip. After swallowing, I was bent over and dripping saliva on the ground, because I couldn't breathe. Just the fumes of moonshine are that strong. Seriously, that shit needs a warning label. Don't drink it straight unless you have a lot of experience with really strong drinks.] It warms your belly, and you realize that with the food and tea in your body it will be absorbed slowly enough that it won't have much effect. Also, it was just one shot, and although you're no heavy drinker, you need more than that to get properly drunk.

[You have gained status effect: Lucky]

13) Is there any other survival advice, or advice on getting out, that you can give me that I haven't asked for?

She hands you a potion. You're not sure what it's supposed to do, but you drink it. She then presents you with two plants. One is hemlock, a dangerous poison. The other is a carrot. You notice the hemlock giving off a faint yellowish glow. You deduce that this potion lets you identify poisons. [You have gained ability: See poison]

You look out the window, and notice it's the middle of the afternoon. That sure took a while.

You currently have the following positive status effects:

* Noob protection

* Lucky

You currently have the following negative status effects:

* Nicotine addiction (minor)

* Headache (minor)

* Nicotine withdrawal (minor)

[Sorry, but I can't just let that happen off-screen. The Protagonist can quit cold turkey, but it will result in problems if you don't have a predictably safe week. Of course, if you run out of tobacco, you'll be quitting no matter what. The "desired" amount by the character is two cigarettes a day. The pouch now contains 48 grams. You can figure this out. There's no shame in going back and calculating how long that supply will last based on how much you started with and how many you've had so far.]

Current quest: Survive

Active sidequest: Find the skill tree.

You are wearing blue jeans, a white t-shirt, sturdy shoes, and a black leather jacket with many pockets. On your back is the backpack you found with you when you woke up. You are not tired. You are not hungry. You are not thirsty. You have (2) unspent skill point(s).

What do you do?