Welp sorry trixie. Anyhoo... Yay boss fight, notice the sarcasm dripping from my text... So, yeah prepare all weapons light torch spear on fire prep throwing spear and upon seeing opponent look for any weak points such as unarmored stomaches backs or faces. If thing has scales or skin use spear to cut. If exoskeleton or other armor use spear to bludgeon if furred use spear to burn. If a pony try to reason first. If dragon your f*ucked. If a unicorn or other hostile w/ magic then use whatever magic you have and get as close as possible and poke it with spear. That is all the advice I have.

Also if we can train ourselves with our soul bound weapon. Then (this is a theory I came up with for D&D) we should be able to throw it and then call it back to our hand afterwards. Also according to D&D if your soul bound weapon breaks you can take a piece of it and recreate your weapon from that shard (also destroying all other existing shards in the proses).

Preparing your spear with the flames of doom, you look around warily for signs of any living creature. While waiting, you start an inner monologue that goes approximately as follows.

You've played a few games in the past. Soulbound weapons aren't a completely unfamiliar concept. If you get this return ability down, you could perhaps activate it at will, throwing it and calling it back soon after. Of course, this would leave open wounds in the enemy, which means more bleeding and more damage. An excellent idea, if you do say so yourself. And you also remember something about remaking soulbound items from a shard. You're a bit fuzzy on that bit, though.

You can clearly say that you are not a morning person....

You awake to a scream and the first thing that runs through your mind is "oh i gots a harp, lets try play zelda songs on it."even though they are done on an ocarena and you cant play for shit.  Even when you go to investigate, alls you arm youself with at first is some orange juice. Hell you woke up with your pants on inside out, you dont know how you accomplished that, you slept with all your clothes  on and in perfect order.

you remember your priority was to create a bloody cup out of exoskeleton instead of picking up the pace and picking up a bunch of sticks. What the fuck were you thinking??? Serously need some coffee.

NOT ONLY THAT BUT YOU ENTERED THE FUCKING BOSS ROOM WITHOUT USING YOUR GOD DAMN SKILL POINTS, WTF ARE YOU THINKING!?! AND NOW INSTEAD OF GETTING BEHIND SOME FUCKING COVER , YOUR LISTNING TO A BUNCH OF FUCKING VOICES IN YOUR HEAD.

It was that that made you snape out of your stupor and take in your surroundings while whispering quietly to yourself "Dear got im fucking Schizophrenic".

[You have gained status effect: Schizoprhenia; it seems the stress and issolation has finally taken its toll on your mental wellbieng and you now hear voices in your head. Enjoy]

Continuing your monologue, you conclude that you're not exactly a morning person. Waking up to a scream, your first thought was on your fancy harp and playing Zelda songs on it instead of investigating. Then you go investigate possible combat, armed with orange juice. Awesome weapon there. You even woke up with your pants inside out, and you know you went to bed with your pants on properly! You seriously need to get some coffee or you'll get killed twice while sleeping.

Also, why'd you keep dungeoneering without using those skill points? What were you thinking? And now, instead of hiding, you're listiening to voices in your head... Wait... I thought this was an inner monologue? What are you doing here? Hey, I'm just along for the ride, calm down! The fuck?

You whisper quietly to yourself, "Oh shit, I've gone schizo!"

[You have gained status effect: Schizophrenia; it seems the stress and isolation has finally taken its toll on your mental wellbeing and you now have a snarky narrator in your head. Awesome.]

I laughed so hard in the beginning.  It reminded me of all too many scenarios of D&D I've seen.

[Yes, I now understand how my DM feels...]

Okay, so boss fight. The first thing the protagonist ought to do is beat on his chest ala King Kong style, complete with the best roaring sound he can make and then. . . I dunno, it's hard to tell what to do when we don't know what we're fighting. Set primary spear on fire, ready javelin for throwing. Get ready to dive in any direction.

Ooh, I know! Regardless of whatever it is, stab it to death while yelling in it's face. Leave the badass one-liner for when everybody in the room besides the protagonist is dead. If we can't make a clever pun, say the sentence "I spear you. Ha!" If the thing bleeds, then bathe in its blood.

Please let us try to kill a pony!

Getting an idea, you beat your chest and let out a manly roar! That'll intimidate the boss for sure! You look around, checking if it worked. Suddenly, the gate on the other side of the room - the one you strangely did not notice before despite it being three times your size - creaks open slowly. Out of the darkness walks a short, fat, blond guy wearing a white suit and a black belt.

He bows to you and introduces himself as Cilindric the German. To pass this gate, you must defeat him.

You hear the voice in your head comment, "Man, how did he ever get to be a boss?"

Boss fight... Boss fight... I know!!!

Retroactively read the library on anything in the dungeons of the castle. If it's not too late to spend skills, get condensation.

Also, try the "save" command.

You're not in a position to read things retroactively.

You can't do that yet.

What do you do?